(The Original) Art Of Manipulation
by DTA2013
Summary: I have had quite a few private messages asking me to re-post the original story I posted back in 2012(The Art Of Manipulation), So since I still have this on my laptop I am posting it altogether though. Some of you will remember the original story and will see the slight difference between the two. Femslah as always
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Chapter 1**

**The art of manipulation**

**Chapter 1**

**I do not own criminal minds they belong to their rightful owner's cbs, I have had quite a few private messages asking me to re-post the original, So since I still have this on my laptop I am posting it altogether though. Some of you will remember the original story and will see the slight difference between the two.  
**

**Date and time: 02.00, June 2003**

**Location: Manchester England,**

You get to a point in your life when something clicks I was told a long time ago to write what I feel but what if writing it down it becomes real? At 13 I learnt how to manipulate people make them think feel what I wanted them to feel what I wanted them to see and I still do it now, scary thought isn't it! You thought you knew me. You know what I want you to see.

I became what in your eyes I should be, polite to an extent of what is classed as normal, say your p&q's, never quite understood what the q stands for but I am sure it bears no real reason, it's the quality you portray to people it's what they see, not what you see! There is one thing that I am scared of and that is of myself, if I let it out and become what I want to be or maybe I should say, it is what I want to do.

What I feel like doing sometimes and I guess it use to as they say these days "turn you on gets you off. I'd love nothing more than to wrap my hands around someone's neck and watch the life leave their eyes, but I know this is wrong so I cage it away,

I leave it at the back of my mind but sometimes it comes to the front, not as often as it used to, but it's there deep seated in my mind it's the part I fear, I lose my temper I get angry at everything but mainly at myself.

Things I hate about people, even my so called friends they think I like to be hugged touched when the fact is I hate it, you move to get away, to get their hands off you, their so called care and love in a better way,

I hate it but yet to inflict pain more so and mainly to a man well that's something else!

A man thinks with their pants or what is in their pants wonder if they still would if it was chopped off?

Yet the other side of me knows this is wrong it is not right so I hide it.

People say I'd make a great dad! I know I would not, due to the fact that I know more than likely I would kill it, and in my mind that seems okay!

But I know it's not they say I have bipolar but I know they are wrong on some level because I hide half of myself away, that one part of me that sometimes screams to be let out.

The thing is it is coming more often, so therefore I stay away from people from the world because here I am safe and they are safe from me! The problem is I know maybe too much, I have seen it, I have heard it, they would lock me away and I would hate that. I don't want that I need to be free, but something inside says I'm not free I am a prisoner in my own mind and I know it,

I can feel it yes I am a bubbly person I can get on with mainly anyone but I do not fit in and I know that! I look in the mirror and I do not see me I see a shell of what I am meant to be, or should be so I lock myself away only going out when I need to.

I watch these programs on crime and I know where they went wrong, they acted on it!

You cannot lock someone up for thinking, but you can if they act on it so I take the pills they do not help they do not suppress the feeling and the want.

They ask me if I hear voices I use to now, they only visit every so often, and they only come when I allow them. Maybe I should allow them more room, the questions I have, to see what a killer sees.

However, I am no killer I just think it that is the difference I wonder how many others think it feel it.

I do not care what you think when you read this to be honest I never care what anyone thinks no more.

I am some semblance of me, or part of me. Maybe it is me but there again I learnt to play the game a long time ago, when they found out I cut the one part of my life I could control and they took that away from me, because it is wrong to hurt yourself?

However, do we not hurt ourselves every time we smoke and drink alcohol? But there again smoking and drinking is normal because you can't see the damage that you really are inflicting of yourself! Just a shame you cannot see it or feel it yet? Therefore, you self-harm and mutilate your own body.

You will when the alcohol eats away at your mind or that cough from smoking clogs your lungs so you struggle to breathe to take that air that you so badly need but by then it will be too late for you!

At least with just taking that blade and letting some of that blood out doesn't kill you, but it is deemed wrong in this world but someone to cover their body in tattoos and piercing is fine? Is that not a bit fucked up?

That is still harming yourself but in your eyes, it is classed as art as someone's free will but when you hurt yourself there is something wrong with you, because you have inflicted that pain on to yourself!

Would you rather I cut another person or control my mind enough to take that angry and pain out on myself? Maybe I have had it wrong for the past 19yrs oh I forgot you all think I started cutting when my grandparents died but you will find yourselves very much wrong! I started at 12 I just hid it very well. If that stupid sister of mine had not come out her bedroom, they still would not know! However, she did and off to the shrink I was thrown! Yet no one asked me what I wanted or needed? A child has no say or no rights do they?

They say childhood experiences have made me like this. Let me tell you something about my childhood, it was a good one I just hate my family and wished they would either die or fuck off and leave me alone!

My mum I guess you could say liked to sweep things under the carpet let's see the bullying got put under the rug until I walked out of school at 14 and told her to try and make me go back! First time she listened so I went to another school, that too was full of freaks and idiots that thought they were better than everyone else was, who even told me I would need a hell of a lot of luck with my future and where are they now?

Let us see they all had kids when they left school, single mums and dads yes that is something to aspire to be? I think not you could not keep your legs shut. I just hope your kids go through the hell I went through. Bullied mentally and physically and you will then know what you did to us few who did not hang ourselves even though their parents blame it on drugs.

Ahh drugs yes been there, done that and it did nothing for me, same with the drink it just numbed the pain, I never worked out what it was though. However, what would I know?

So I left school started work because as mum said I am not like my sister I would not cope. If you put someone down enough and often enough, they believe it or you all that fucking thick?

So I worked at the stables and yes I loved it, but then I went and worked at the pub and everyone hated it! Why, because I would work, over 60/70 hours a week, or was it because I was earning more money than you mum?

My sister had it easy in my eyes everyone loved her, wanted to be around her. She would say jump, and people would say how high? Talk about sheep!

You all hated my job my relationships well like you say it will not last so therefore you made me commit myself to a life where I will have no one! Aside from the fact, I do not trust people!

You see anyone I trusted had or have let me down just the way life is so therefore you rely on yourself no one else and you screw up.

Me more so than most but there you go I am 31 and have nothing no life hardly any friends but there again maybe that is for the best. I know I am fat my mum has said it enough hell even the doctors says it. So there it is imprinted in my mind even when I was 11 stone I was still fat in your eyes and now that's all I see is fat so thank you for making me hate myself!

At 15 I had keyhole surgery yet another doctor judging me, but I kept my mouth shut which I have learnt to do sometimes, but sometimes it gets the better of me and then I get shouted at but like he said the pain in my knees is all in my head because I self-harm?

I have never worked out how pain is connected to the fact that I self-harm and here I am, haven't done it in a while but yet I want to take that blade and cut but I won't because then everyone will look at me like I've hurt them. How the fuck do I hurt you it is not you that I took the blade to my fucking body.

However, you act, as though it is yours. Don't do this don't do that but yet there you are drinking 4 bottles of wine a night but that's fine isn't it? You judge me because you are so perfect. However, you are not, your pathetic, a cancer!

I will never forget or forgive you for that either. Why is it you having cancer my fault again? People wonder why I hate my birthday why I would rather forget it well here it is at 25 sat around for a meal and my mum blurts out that if she ever gets cancer it is my fault because I smoke.

The fact that one I have never smoked near her second I do not even live with her it is my fault? It is easier to blame me than to take responsibility for your own actions! The fact that dad smoked over 40 fags a day and smoked them in the same room as you had nothing to do with it NO!

It is my fault yet again, seems I am to blame for a lot of things and I wonder why I'd be better off dead but even that would be my fault like you never drove me to do half the things I do?

That would be to easy never except the fact that half the reason I am like I am is because you made me that way? Putting me down telling me I weren't good enough I'd never amount to anything I'm not like my sister and thank god I'm not like her!

But I am like her in so many ways you just don't see it. I had it imprinted in my mind when I found out you had cancer, which you never told me I found out. Wrong place wrong time no matter what you say that would be my fault maybe you should just blame me for everything, grans and nans death the dog dying or the fact that now your half the person you was!

Because your body if failing you call me fat but yet you're so perfect nothing wrong with you but yet you are fat so is dad my sister half starves herself because she doesn't want to end up like you. Should that not tell you something?

And yes for the record I hate my mother when I needed her the most she palmed me off to someone else instead of talking to me but thank you mum for teaching me one thing how to make people see what they want to see and hear what they want to hear! You did a bang up job of it give yourself a pat on the back!

So I got into a relationship with a girl that was a mistake but the mistake was mine! fact my mum hates anyone I am with, I don't care what she thinks anymore because she never thought anything of me to start with I am a pawn for them to use when they need me but when I need them they don't come!

My sister fucks me off she was the one that wanted 3 kids if you can't cope you should have kept your legs shut instead you rely on me to help you.

However, when I do not want to you turn on them fucking tears or you bitch at mum who then bitches at me because I am not helping you! Yet none of you see what it is doing to me being around you kills me that little bit more every day!

However, the other side of me loves my sister and would do anything for her and my family. Because somewhere in this fucked up head of mine. I guess you could say I care about them.

I would not say love them because if I am honest I do not think I can love anyone I have feelings yes and I do cry but as for love I very much doubt it!

Does that make me a cold-hearted person? No, it does not, well not to me anyway but there again, it is now 2.24am when I write this and according to you all its wrong not to sleep! I am tried I am worn out but not for the reasons you think I am broken and I know I am.

I have been for a very long time but you do not see it because I do not let you see it because I am scared that you will lock me away. I am locked away in my mind and you'd want to lock me in a hospital so why am I doing this now why am I letting this out why am I telling someone this now.

The fact I know deep down I don't have bipolar it's the new trend that you seem to give everyone these days you don't know what's wrong with them its bipolar well think again yes I do have some traits of bipolar but have you ever thought that is just the surface that is just one part of me?

Oh I have played the game for so long I don't even think I know myself anymore surrounded by lies because you all needed a reason for what I do why I do it why I lose control why I like hurting myself why I have no control over my life or myself, but yet I do. Otherwise, I would be in prison for murder wouldn't I, so I do have control never been in trouble with the law.

I remember when I was a kid I found the sheer enjoyment out of pulling the legs off frogs did you know they still try to move once you pull their legs off fascinating really in a sick twisted way! Pulling the wings off daddy longs legs they do not die either.

Why is it when you kick the shit out of a dog it still comes back to you? I thought they were intelligent. Maybe not oh well. This is the side I do not let people see I do not need them to see because I control it.

It is funny you pull a fish out of water it still attempts to breath? Takes a few mins for it to die and yet there eyes never closed maybe the lack of eyelids have something to do with it but anyway.

Oh don't think for one second I will hurt someone because I won't but the thought is there it is laid out in front of me in front of my world it is part of me my being my soul,

I obsess with things and I know I do, but not the things you would expect! That's messed up isn't it, I have a thing for DVDs and it fucks me off when I can't find what I want oh well story to my life.

I have no pity for people they get what they get because there card has already been dealt, it was dealt the second they took that first breath and it will stay with you till you take your last breath. As I write this I have no feelings behind it other than I am too tired to hide away anymore too tired to make people see what they need or want to see.

My biggest wish in life and I only have one would be for people to leave me alone in a sense sometimes it is nice to talk to people other times I have nothing to say not because there is nothing to say.

Because what I have to say or I am thinking has no meaning has no point no sheer reason, but it is there it is a pattern as much as the person who acts on it they have no control over themselves which is a shame but there again maybe sometimes it would be good to let go.

But then my caring my reasoning side takes over and I am put back away into the shadows but yet I lurk around hoping that someday I can see the light of day but I know you won't allow it because you fear me which in fact means you fear yourself which is never a nice thought!

I was once asked to do this and now I have and if you read this, if I allow it, which I might, and more than likely will. Please do not try to lock me away because that half of me is under control I have no understanding of why I feel like this but I do and am too tired to keep this mask on.

I can tell you the point it got worse and I was 23 when it got out of hand I cut to stay in control, you took that away so how do I control myself? I am lost I have always been lost if anyone cared to fully read my history because even I know my files are big! But you won't because you have little time to study people in-depth to fully understand there way of thinking.

In addition, for the record, I have been depressed where there is no hope everything is empty and black but it's still like that but I know it's not depression. That second I find a balance inside myself it is black it is empty it is like looking through another's eyes and watching myself but it is me it is part of me we all have different parts mine I hide well because people don't need to see it.

They don't need to see or feel it you want to know how I harm myself now is by sex there you go I have sex with men. It hurts I hate it but if I do not cut, mum leaves the guilt trip away from me so therefore I might not build more hate towards her and my family is it normal to do this! NO?

Do people do it yes do they admit to it more than likely not. I try to make people happy but it makes them feel good but for me I'm left empty a vacant shell of what I was but who cares about me I sure as hell don't I have been used by everyone why stop now.

31 years of being used, blamed, and made to feel like nothing is a hard path to change to except that maybe you are something but that second you feel you are something they will pull me back down so why should I even try?

Maybe this time I will not even try to hide and cage myself!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Chapter 2**

**Chapter 2**

**Location: Unknown**

**Date and time: 1, December 2006, time unknown**

Hello, my friend it is a long time since I have written in here, but in 3 years a lot can change I have moved from England and now reside in America. I am not sure how I landed here just that now I am a citizen of this state, oh yes it might have something to do with the demise of my parents but there again brake's fail on cars a lot if you have an oil leak!

So in the past few years I have found my feet so to speak I bought a lovely home away from everyone. it is on the outskirts of town, four storey cellar, living area, bedrooms on the upper level and then there is the attic, I have a bit of land but enough for what I want and need isolated which is nice.

For someone who did not want pets I have two lovely cats but there again they are not really pets they are wild they come for food and water and to be stroked every now and again.

It has been so easy here in Washington the capital beautiful place I visit there sometimes not that often though only when I need something that requires me to leave my home. I have lovely suv plenty of boot space which I need to carry out my acts and transport.

It occurred to me years ago to become a ghost move countries away from my family well after my parents so called died in a freak accident and I inherited a fortune since my parents won the lottery leaving both me and my sister over 100 million helped me move and no one questioned it!

So I don't need to work I don't even need to see the doctor no more I have been off my medication now for over 2years since arriving here.

This has allowed me in the first time to become myself and not live in the shell or cage I had made in my mind I am free to act out what I have dreamed and thought of doing for years and at last, I feel free.

I have learnt so much about the human body. And how much a body can sustain become it succumbs to death it really is fascinating! I have found that living where no one knows you or can hear you is a great asset to one's inability or ability to practice.

The first year I arrived here, this house called to me and I fell in love with it. I reconstructed the inside my cellar looks marvellous really. The stairs leading down are made or iron so you can hear your foot fall on the way down, there is no natural light so I installed lighting which helps in one's ability to see!

I made four rooms, which I guess to the outside person look more like jail cells than rooms. One room I have a nice bathtub that has built on restraints, next room an iron bed that has a small just I guess a little stronger than a camper mattress, which has blue covers on and houses more bindings to hold things down while they lay there.

The third room houses a few things branding equipment tools to enable you to pierce through skin, a metal gag hog ties which are really fascinating pieces of equipment if you know how to use them correctly and it took me six months to master this amazing really you can learn so much in so little time. The fourth room has a metal board which allows me to hang my work up to a standing position reminds me of Jesus on the cross!

Now this room is another one that is magnificent my true passion which allows me to abide to myself and be me, whips and floggers line the wall all more severe than the first I must admit I love the studded flogger makes so many beautiful marks on the flesh. I have sexual equipment as well I do like to see them hobble on their hands and knees leading them from room to room a woman on all fours isn't that how they are meant to be?

The first one she came with me willingly she was a runaway a nobody someone who wouldn't be missed or reported as missing who cares about street trash anyway they live on the streets they sell their bodies for money.

I paid this one $2000 shame she never got to use it she was with me for two months and in that time I learnt so much about her body and what and how much I could push before she broke. She was stubborn but a pretty brunette.

Anyway I have told you about that now, So let me tell you about now I was just getting rid of the last girl, who was no use to me, she broke in a sense well okay she died.

Now I have my sites on a new person she is beautiful and very strong but I worry someone would miss her, I met her in a bar she was with these other two women.

Yes, she humiliated me but in the sense I feel she would be a willing opponent to break in she might even last longer, but how do I get her?

This is why I am here now writing this down maybe if I can map this out I will be able to lure her.  
I did over hear her and her friends talking about these well I call them hookers they do not warrant the term human. They seem to work in law enforcement which is even a bigger challenge for me how to lure someone or power so I will start small I think and hunt down little rich girl though I will never hurt a child under 16 but maybe that would throw them off or make them work harder.

So that means children are out of it maybe instead of hunting 16-20 I go above that and work my way up this brunette looked to be in her 30s so it would be practice. To find someone who looks the way she does and holds herself with an air of elegant to herself maybe I will have to work on that part I will get back to you my faithful friend.

**Date: 2 December,**

So I went out today to a very expensive place I am going with if you want to attract the rich women you best dress accordingly to how they do so I have spent over $5000 on clothes my hair shoes and sprays.

It is strange how much effort can be required for this, very odd in fact that a person is willing to spend so much money to appear nice and rich, but this is what I must do if I am going to be able to get near that beautiful woman I saw.

She and her friends seem to always go to the same bar I would say after every work day but sometimes they do not show up for a few days she must work longer hours and the bar closes before she finishes her shift.

But this bar in prime hunting ground as many seem to come from money and some even come alone I was speaking to one lady today she was telling how bad her life was as a lawyer is and how she has to deal with these scum of the earth, her words I wonder what she is thinking now?

Well she is already crying and whining she lacks that fight maybe removing her breasts was not the best way to go with this one she bled out very fast. Must remember not to remove them again never knew they held so much blood inside them strange. I will dispose her body later tonight! The bathtub comes in handy when things become bloody. Not much to clean up so that means I can hunt again tonight.

**Date: 4 December,**

The problem with taking rich little girls is people notice! But this one I took yesterday seems to have a fight in her so she should last longer than the other, she screamed when the hot iron were placed on her naked skin, but the ice cold bath afterwards seemed to help her as she only whimpered then maybe it helped having the metal gag in place.

She also leant very fast if she doesn't move or scream I don't work her too hard the studded collar helped, I may see what she feels like inside later I am letting her rest right now in the tub she has candles for light and the tape I have playing for her will help greatly I think.

**Date: 4 December,**

Letting her rest for two hours seemed to help she never move or whined when I placed myself inside her, she also seemed to like being flogged as she hung there not making a sound which makes me want to hurt her more, break her.

Maybe I should let her know; once she has been broken, I will let her go. That could help I may try that later and see what reaction I get.

**Date: 6 December,**

Well she lasted 3 days in total I found a new one as well not so long after I placed the other in the park. This one is a challenge though she is really pissing me off, she screams and cries and I have not yet done anything to her.

However, what worries me is the fact she is a daughter of someone in the government so if I let her go they will find me so maybe I should just kill her instead of playing with her? However, maybe not for that would just be a waste!

**Date: 15 December,**

Well she lasted a lot longer her body finally gave out but I must now lay low for a while, as they have now involved the FBI that is all I need!

Therefore, I am going to go out and to the bar for tonight and plan how I am going to capture that brunette.

I will write soon my friend


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Please R&R as ever I own nothing!**

**Location: Roman's Pub, Potomac Avenue.**

**Date & Time: 18 December 2006**

I had been coming here often now for a full month I was what they classed now as a regular, I'd also now had chance to talk to the brunette and get to know her.

I knew she was not one who would just walk off with someone she didn't know but tonight it was different as I see her sitting alone at the bar tonight swirling the whiskey in her glass so the cubes hit gently against the glass.

Something just seemed off about her as though for the first time in this month she was not fully aware, her eyes looked sad and for a second I thought she might have been crying, so I approached her.

"Hey Emily everything okay?"

She lifted her head slightly turning it to face me. She gave me a half smile before she responded.

"I guess I will be just been a hard week" Emily replied softly.

This was my chance to find out if she was alone she was never alone on a Friday night.

"Where is the rest of your group?" I enquire softly showing some concern.

"I just didn't feel like their company tonight they wanted to see a movie" Emily replied somewhat distantly.

I studied her for a moment maybe this was my chance to finally have her finally capture her, I replied making my voice seem concerned and somewhat hurt

"I'll leave you be then" I turned to move away hoping she may take the bait they I had laid down hoping that the alcohol had taken some of her instincts away her and her friends always seemed aware of everything apart from weekend when they seemed to let go.

Emily rested her hand on his arm to stop him from leaving

"Rob your fine to stay" Emily answered the last case had taken it out of her she wanted to break away from the team her family for just one night.

I nodded and smiled softly at her she had taken some of the bait maybe tonight she will walk into my trap.

"Let me get you another drink, what are you having?" I asked in a polite manner.

"Whiskey on the rocks please"

I order our drinks whiskey for Emily and shandy for myself

"Do you want to get a table?" I ask as I hand her the drink.

Emily just nodded before standing she was, worn out after 5 days of hardly any sleep.

I guide her to an empty booth away from the groups of people I place our drinks down as she turns and looks at me

"I just going to head to the bathroom" Emily said softly with a small smile.

There is something about the kindness of a stranger that can warm your heart even though he wasn't really a stranger. They had been talking on and off for over a month he always seemed kind easy to talk with joked around with the boys and yet he had never asked her what her job was or try and make himself seem any more than a business man and for this Emily like him.

This was perfect I thought to myself I sat down in the booth slipping some ghb into her glass just enough to make her seem more drunk than she was, smirking to myself. This was really happening!

"Is everything okay?" I asked when she returned

"Yes no complaint's here, So Rob tell me about your-self?" Emily asked softly

I smiled softly at her before I replied. "Well I use to live in England until my parents died in a car accident. I moved over here not long after I live alone with my two cats and as you have noticed I like the beer in this bar and that just about sums me up" I smile softly as I look into her eyes them chocolate eyes she is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.

Emily smiled softly and nodded picking her glass up and taking a sip "So tell me what makes someone like your-self come to a bar like this the food isn't that good" Emily smirked she liked him and saw no harm in flirting with him.

"Well it isn't just the bar I come to I come in hopes of seeing this beautiful woman" I flirt back hoping she will take this bait I am offering up to her

"Lucky woman, so why are you sitting here with me?"

"Because you're the lucky lady," I replied as I smile sweetly at her

Emily blushed he was hansom an English accent to die for pricing blue eyes nearly as beautiful as JJ's, short brown hair that suited him very well.

She knew the suit was of expensive taste so he must have been brought up correctly he spoke softly well built his muscles are defined and yet again he hadn't asked about her job which she liked since they either liked it too much or then backed off once she mentioned FBI.

"Would you like another whiskey?" I can see the effects already the drug is having on her maybe she would ask for a ride home.

Emily shook her head "I think I should get going" Emily replied as she started to get up she suddenly felt dizzy her head spun, she blinked to try and focus again but she couldn't.

"Here let me help you" I stand holding her as she tries to steady herself "Would you like me to give you a ride home?" I ask my voice showing concern again

Emily nodded as she felt her legs go to jelly "Must have had too much" She never finished what she was saying.

I guide her outside and towards my suv helping into the passenger side I put her belt on before I close the door walking around to the driver's side I look over at her, her eyes were already closing her words were slurring as she tried to tell me her address. But I wasn't taking her home I was taking her to my home. I grin to myself I had finally managed to capture her.

I drive slowly towards my home she mumbles but I could not tell what she was saying and at this point I didn't care I just needed to get her into my cellar so she couldn't fight me.

I help her out the car; well I more or less carried her. I had the woman I was dreaming about in my arms she smelt like heaven to me and still in her drugged state, she still had this air of power about her. I carefully carry her down into the cellar not once has she opened her eyes.

I place her into the cot placing the chain around her legs, strapping her arms down to her side my hand runs over her body her muscles twitch at my touch, and she lets out a small moan.

Tonight I let you sleep it off no fun when you are drugged and tomorrow we can have some fun. I kiss her on her forehead before standing to leave I double check her restraints closing the metal door behind me I lock the door and slid the three bolts across as I head back upstairs to rest.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Please R&R as ever I own nothing!**

**Location: Rob's house Minnie-Ville Road**

**Date & Time: 19 December 2006 7am**

I awoke from my slumber still feeling quite pleased with myself I could hear a mumbled noise coming from downstairs "Ahh she is awake" I say aloud. I gather up some bread and water she might be thirsty as I walk down the stairs my boots making enough noise that she hears me I start to hear her louder.

"Who are you?" Emily asks hoping that someone is there, she hears someone coming and quietens down a little bit as she is unsure where or who she is with she tries to think back to last night. Okay I remember the bar and talking to Rob having a drink with him and the rest is blank!

The bolts are removed one by one she counted three in total, she hears the key being turned in the lock her mind tells her to be still.

She needs to work this out she tries to move her arms they are bond to the bed she moves her legs and hears the metal clinking against each other** 'Damn it'** She mutters to herself.

I enter the room I smile she is there I did not dream it she is mine.

"Good morning Emily did you sleep well?" I ask in a kind voice

Emily turns and looks at him her eyes adjust to the dulled light that has entered the room

"Rob? Where I'm I?" Emily slurs slightly.

"Don't look so worried we are meant to be you are home now. I brought you some food and water let me help you up" I say

Emily looked at him, it was not registering what he was saying, her mind felt like mush and finally she nodded slightly.

I help her to sit slightly keeping her tied she is not trained, yet! I help her to eat a small amount of food and she drinks a full glass of water.

"I just want to talk to you today," I say softly

"About what?" Emily tried to test the bindings they were too tight to move.

I turn and place the tape player on the table.

"Before I answer that you need to listen to this I will be back in a while" I press play on the tape as I get up to leave locking the door behind me just as I hear the first woman scream music to my soul.

Emily's eyes lit in shock and fear the screams ripping through her like a knife it was the voices he even introduces these women! Emily remembers the team were meant to join the locals Monday to try to find him!

The tears come as I listen to each woman be beat and god knows what else he is doing to them but it also teaches me he reacts to the screams when the women fell silent so did the beatings. I have to hang on they will find me

Walking back down into the cellar two hours later I unlock the door and walk in Emily's eyes are blood shocked she has been crying I think to myself.

"So I want to first speak to you about training. You will only speak when I say you can. You will only eat and drink if I allow it. And finally you will do as you are told I have seen you with them girls you go out with what's that blonde ones name again?"

Emily looked blankly at him was he referring to JJ or Garcia?

"You know it is wrong to look at another woman like that don't you?"

Emily frowned slightly not wanting to answer not willing to reply

"Answer me!" I say in a firm voice

"I don't look at anyone in a wrong way" Emily replied the hate she had already formed, showing in her voice.

I hit her across her face so hard that blood came from her lip

"Try again" I say

"They are my friends we are close that's all" Emily replies

"Very well" I stand and move closer to her, her arms try to break the binds as I start to rip her shirt off her, I hit the other side of her jaw "Keep still" I command and yet she still struggles against the rope and chains.

"You need a bath this won't take long!" It is always best to work with a clean body than one that is dirty. I cut her pants and underwear away from her raking my eyes over her body she is nearly perfect.

After removing her clothes I bring the collar and fasten it around her neck this is a special collar once fastened, it will not be able to be removed "This collar means you are mine no one else's but mine I even had your name engraved on it. What do you say to me for this?" I ask

Emily looked at the metal collar she was unable to form words as he moved closer to her she spat at him as she tried to move away.

"That wasn't nice" I bellow grabbing her hair yanking it back so she is looking upwards. "Was you never taught manners you say thank you! I can see you're going to be a hard one to train"

Placing the collar around her neck locking the padlock in place I retrieve the lead which I attach to the collar before collecting the metal cuffs which I place on each ankle tying them together turning her on to her front.

I bring the other chain connecting it to the cuffs bringing it tightly along her back and attaching it to her new collar I place more cuffs on to each wrist again attaching it to the collar so she is able to crawl on her knees and elbows.

Emily closed her eyes as the pain emanated up her body but she refused to make a sound a tear rolled down her cheek. He pulled her up placing her on the ground so she could crawl "Good girl now you have to walk with me so I can give you a bath" Emily groaned she felt humiliated and scared for what was installed for her.

Emily had no choice but to obey but she will not give him the pleasure of hearing her thoughts. Her knees grazed on the concrete as she slowly crawled, to where he was taking her he yanked cruelly on her collar as she struggled to keep up with him she felt the skin on her elbows cut and bleed her knees the same.

Finally she made it to the other room it was darker than the room she came from it was cold making her shiver with each movement. "Try anything and chains will be the least of the things you fear" He said as he slammed the door shut locking it before returning to her.

He removed one wrist and locked it on to one side of the bath he did the same with her ankle before he lifted her up. Emily took in a deep breath as her body came in touch with the cold water her tied her other wrist and ankle to the other side of the bath so she was just lying there unable to move and at this point unable to catch her breath as the coldness attacked her body.

Emily closed her eyes hoping for the best but fearing the worst as she heard something being wheeled over towards the bath. "If you move this will hurt, if you stay still it won't hurt as much?" Rob said as he started to weld the lock on her collar he did the same with the metal cuffs welded them in place. "See you belong to me now Emily what do you say"

Emily closed her eyes as she tried to see how much movement she had with her neck she stuttered the response out as the cold took a hold of her body "Th…t…hank yoo…you!" this time Rob patted her on her head "Good girl"

Emily's eyes went wide as she felt a rough cloth being, rubbed against her body Rob was washing her with what she could only think of was a scouring pad. It lasted for what felt like hours but truly was about five minutes before he stopped

"Your clean now" he unclipped one ankle and attached it to the other cuff and he did the same with her wrists aside from he tied them behind her back. Rob helped Emily to stand as he attached the lead onto the collar in effect she was hobbled. He guided her back to her room and placed the chains back on that kept her on the bed.

"I will see you tomorrow rest well"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Please R&R as ever I own nothing.**

**Location: Rob's house Minnie-Ville Road**

**Date & Time: 19 December 2006 6pm**

The bile rose in her throat. The cuffs were welded shut, permanently attached to her body. She worked her way to her knees, the only upright position afforded to her by the short chains binding her wrists and ankles to the wall behind her.

With strong but trembling hands, she gripped the chains and yanked in a wild attempt to pull them from the wall. However, she was rewarded; only by sore arms and cut wrists.

Unwilling to give up, she redoubled her efforts, straining until the pain in her wrists made her head swim. She leaned back against the wall to catch her breath and order her thoughts. Emily's head throbbed as sharp spikes of pain stabbed through her temple with each breath.

The bang of heavy footsteps on the stairs snapped her focus back to the present and she clenched her hands into fists. Feeble, cold light suddenly illuminated the room from a single bulb. Emily blinked at the abrupt change, squinting up at Rob.

"You could let me go and we can forget this?" Emily pleaded

A sharp prick stabbed into the base of her neck and she rose up to fight against the chains and the. She was shoved back to her knees and a hand pinched her nose, squeezing it viciously. She gasped for breath, mouth wide open as the metal O shape gag was placed between her upper and lower lips tying it behind her neck.

Emily shivered as the fear and panic was building up in her chest. As she was dragged across the concrete, she wished that she could fight anything, but lay limp in a Rob's cruel grasp. However, as she was dumped onto her back, she reined in her panic, focusing on her struggle to breathe.

"I already told you, you are mine" Rob sneered

Fingers caressed her in a mockery of tenderness, brushing across her nipples and down over her stomach. Emily shuddered internally as he ran his finger along her jaw where her skin met the iron edge.

Sickeningly, Bright flashes appeared behind her eyelids as her pain and shame engulfed her consciousness. However, a sharp slap against her lolling cheek forced her back to reality.

She was slammed against the wall, her hip and shoulder connecting with the cement block wall with bruising force. Her weak legs tried to buckle but she was hauled back to her feet.

Chains rattled against the wall and she felt a different pressure pulling at the back of her collar. Slowly, the pressure increased until her toes grazed the floor with just enough contact to keep her from strangling.

She breathed frantically through her nose as she fought to stay conscious despite the iron pressing against her windpipe. The thought of hanging to death before throwing the bastard in prison incited her and she resolved to make it through this. She could not wait to see the looks on their faces as Rob slammed the cell door shut.

The chain binding her wrists was short, pulling her arms uncomfortably behind her back, but hands forcing her elbows together made her teeth grit in pain. More chains bound them until they met and the bones ground together. Lips once again pressed to her ear and a hand balled into a fist with her breast pressed inside.

"See you tomorrow," Rob said sweetly "Then we'll see what I can do with you."

He released her flesh and she heard his footsteps recede. Once the door slammed and she heard the bolt slide home, she knew that she was alone.

However, all thoughts of escape were pushed from her mind as she teetered on her toes, balance hindered by the painfully short chain linking her ankles. She refused to die this way.

Emily's entire body ached. Her shoulders strained as she tried to move her arms to relieve the pain radiating from her crushed elbows and swollen hands.

She was on the verge of collapsing, her toes and calves struggling to relieve the choking pressure on her throat. Her breath wheezed in her chest.

She did not know how long she had been chained in this position. She did not know how much longer she could stand this torture.

The door at the top of the stairs banged open. Footsteps approached her and, suddenly, the chain holding her up was released. She collapsed, exhausted muscles refusing to support her any longer.

Deep laughter filled her ears, echoing deafeningly in the dank basement.

"Thought I would check on you, and allow you to lie down for the evening" Rob smirked

A yank on her collar dragging her struggling form across the floor before he flung her onto the bed as she choked for breath Emily's teeth caught on the metal gag that ripped into her gums.

Rob gripped her hair as he undid his pants thrusting into her mouth, after he had relieved himself he removed the gag.

"Sweet dreams" Rob smiled before leaving and locking the door behind him

She fought to steady her breathing as her tears fell; the panicked rasps of her breathing filled the dark, cold air. She curled into herself as best she could, pulling her chained feet up and trying to calm herself as she lay on the cot.

Her thoughts soon turned to JJ and the team, her family. Tears sprung back to her eyes. Emily held JJ smiling face in her mind.

**"I'm sorry JJ,"** Emily muttered as she let the darkness take over.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Please R&R as ever I own nothing!**

**Location: Rob's house Minnie-Ville Road**

**Date & Time: 20 December 2006 9am**

Emily was brought out of her light painful sleep the moment Emily heard the scrape of a key in a lock, and she tensed at the shudder of panic that grasped her chest.

Without a word, he gripped Emily's collar and heaved to her feet. He led her by her chain leash as quickly as her cuffed legs could hobble, chuckling at her ineffectual struggles.

With muscled ease, he shoved her through the doorway into a bleak room. A variety of vicious instruments and whips hung on hooks along one wall a round board with straps situated in five positions fastened to one wall.

Rob calmly shut the door firmly behind him before turning to face her. Rob lifted Emily on to the board strapping her arms and legs the fifth strap was fastened across her forehead.

"Prefect" he sneered as his eyes raked over her naked form "This Emily is for your pleasure"

Emily closed her eyes as she tried to control the panic that was coursing through her body. She flinched as she felt the whip slice her body. The less she moved the less she responded Rob inflicted more pain on her.

"I am your owner you belong to me! Have you any questions?"

Emily stayed silent she wanted to scream to cry to shout but she had learnt listening to the tapes that if she did she would not last too long.

"Good now let me teach you" Rob sneered

More metal slipped over the backs of her knees and they were yanked further and further apart as the strain in her hips grew. He bolted them in place, leaving her painfully stretched and with her genitals humiliatingly exposed.

She heard rather than saw him walk unhurriedly about the room, heard his steps stop before the rack of instruments. An enormous gag, against her tightly closed lips.

When she refused to yield, he pinched her nose closed until she was forced to take a breath. With one swift motion, he shoved the long gag between her lips. It pressed disgustingly against the back of her throat and she fought against her gag reflex.

The phallus stretched her jaw wide, causing the iron collar to cut into her skin. Straps wound around to the back of her head and she felt a lock click, fastening it too tightly into her mouth. She groaned, shame and desperation colouring her.

Emily tried to follow his movements but could only catch partial glimpses of him. Her ears, however, were unobstructed and an involuntary shudder ran through her body at the sharp crack that split the air.

A second later, a cool breath of air tickled her skin just before she heard a second crack of the whip. And the pain followed, cutting through the delicate and sensitive flesh between her legs. She dug her teeth into the gag, struggling to reign in her scream of sudden pain.

A second stroke landed just to the side of the first Emily ground her teeth against the phallus, growling in pain. She tugged uselessly at the metal binding her as a rain of lashes welted her fragile flesh. Soon, the metallic tang of warm blood filled the air and, with each whip stoke, red flecks spattered her legs and the floor.

Screams formed high in her throat gradually grew to wails of agony ripped from deep in her chest. However, Rob ignored her as he whipped her again

Her vision began to blacken at the edges and she let her head loll, the coolness of the floor almost a comfort to her. The pain between her legs began, not to fade, but to seem as if it was someone else's pain and she was only a silent observer.

Only as the door slammed shut once again did Emily's bruised mind realize that the whip had stopped. Fingers tenderly caressed her shredded flesh, pinching and exploring her ruined folds. Emily could do little more than shudder in protest and disgust.

His hands left her body unable to turn away; she stared blurrily up at his smirking face through fluttering eyelids. He grinned widely as he saw that, even after her first lesson, she still had fire in her eyes. Slowly, he showed her the item he had concealed, dangling the roll of wide silvery tape from his finger.

With exaggerated gestures, he peeled the edge of the tape up and drew out a length. Almost lovingly, he pressed the extended tape over her eyes. He removed the gag once her eyes were covered. The blood dripped from her mouth.

"I will let you rest for a while I will be back after" with that Rob turned and walked out the room locking the door behind him as he left Emily hung to the wall the pain emanating through her body. **"Save me JJ"** Emily whispered as the sobs ripped from her lungs.

**Location: JJ's home**

**Date & Time: 20 December 2006 3pm**

"Damn it Emily will you answer your phone this is now the 18th time I have rung you please ring me" JJ throw her phone down onto the sofa, she had not seen Emily since Friday when they went to the movies and Emily had declined the invitation.

The last case had taken a lot out of her so JJ put it down to her needing space. Standing in the kitchen, she heard the phone ring she picked it up without looking at the id "Em?"

Garcia smirked into the phone "No my blonde bombshell, She still not rung you?" Garcia asked the concern showing in her voice

"No, nothing I have left messages if I ring her anymore I think it may be classed as stalking, but she always rings me back even if she does need space" JJ responded the worry and fear in her voice.

"Go round to her place?" Garcia replied "Or would you like some company?"

"Company please" was all JJ managed as the tears took over and she sobbed into the phone.

Garcia rushed out of her apartment and straight into her car, she arrived twenty minutes later, walking up to the front porch she tapped on the door before letting herself in closing the door softly behind her she walked into the front room, "JJ?" Garcia turns the lamp on to light the dark room seeing JJ curled up on the sofa sobbing.

Garcia gently sat next to her rubbing her back "She'll be okay JJ she probably just needs to distress from the last case it took a lot out of everyone and we all know children effect Emily emotional"

JJ nodded as she moved to lean against her friend "She always answers me Garcia!" Garcia nodded "Does she know JJ?" Garcia asked softly

"No well I don't know I haven't said anything to her, I started flirting though. God what have I done!" JJ sobbed she was now thinking this was the reason Emily was not returning her calls.

"JJ you and I both know Emily wouldn't do that she will be in work tomorrow and this will all be over nothing" Garcia reassured her. "Come on you need to get some rest" Garcia said as she helped her up. JJ nodded as she allowed Garcia help her upstairs and into bed "Thank you Garcia" JJ said as she settled into her bed.

"Sweet dreams JJ I'll see you in the morning" Garcia smiled as she watched JJ drift off before closing the door behind her locking the door and heading back home.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Please R&R as ever I own nothing!**

**Location: BAU**

**Date and time: Unknown**

As the darkness engulfed Emily she stated to think of the past the first time she had meet JJ, unlike Hotch JJ had welcomed her gone through the policy and procedures and the way the BAU functioned as a team, there she sat in JJ office listening and taking notes on everything JJ was saying, she smiled shyly at her

"So that's everything regarding the team and how we work have you any questions Emily?" JJ asked softly

"Only one question" Emily smiled softly "Is there any coffee in this building?"

With this JJ laughed "Yes I am so sorry I got carried away" JJ replied as a small blush rose across her cheeks "let's take a break" JJ smiled as she rose from the chair walking around to where Emily was.

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts as a woman entered the room "I want details JJ who is she?" Garcia fired out before registering the other person in the room. JJ blushed deeply as she cleared her throat looking at Emily "Oh! I didn't know you had someone here" Garcia backtracked.

Emily looked at her in strange way, the woman was smaller than Emily the pink and blonde hair made her double take surely she was not an agent! JJ saw the look on Emily's face as she giggled slightly as the two women eyed each other up

"Garcia I would like you to meet Emily, Emily this is Garcia or as we call her the tech goddess and one of my best friends" JJ glared slightly at Garcia.

Emily rose and offered her hand to shake "Nice to meet you" Emily smiled softly; Garcia took the offered hand and shook it still eyeing the woman up.

She looked to JJ and mouthed "Sorry" JJ rolled her eyes slightly which did not go unnoticed by Emily "We were just going to grab some coffee," JJ said to trying to distract the two women.

Emily smiled at the memory she remembered, being so enthralled by JJ, she never did register what Garcia had said until now.

**Location: Rob's house Minnie-Ville Road**

**Date & Time: 21 December 2006 7.06am**

Emily hung there her arms and legs still tied on the wood, the gag in her mouth she could taste the blood that had formed with each blow.

The iron taste ripped through her like glass she prayed for release she prayed, to be found but more than that, she prayed not to be another body upon a slab.

The air was thick with the smell of blood and not just her own she shivered unable to stop herself.

Emily thought to herself '**why do all killers have mommy or daddy issues?'** It was a silent question one that she knew it could not be answered, not yet anyway. The only thing she heard was the turn of the key in the lock.

Emily shivered internally as he entered the only thought going through her mind '**what was next!'**

He turn his face fully looking straight at her his eyes peering through her worse than glass more like a knife that has stopped half way to be turned to give that little more pain.

"I trust you slept well," Rob slurred out; he had been up most of the night finishing the bottle of whiskey he had brought.

He stalked rather than walked towards her the evil glinting in his eye. She tried to swallow but the gag made it impossible, the blows came hard and fast without a second thought she knew it was not his fists, he was using.

Her body shuddered with the blows the blood oozing out of her like waves, Just as she was about to pass out from the pain and the blood forming in her mouth he ripped the gag out of her mouth.

Emily spluttered the blood spraying like a fountain across the room, coughing hard as her lungs burned through the lack or air that was now there, the only words she was able to mutter, "I'm sorry."

He replaced the gag, her wounds still bleeding but not as much as before. Emily was no longer sure how long she had been there but it felt like days her body beaten beyond recognition her heart pounding as the blows came more often but after the second attack, he would remove the gag so she could cough the blood out.

He never spoke this time, not a word not a glimmer of resentment or apology from him, no names, just the blows they came hard and fast harder than before, she thought to herself, either that or her body was betraying her and giving up, as she blacked out from the pain

The blackness lifted she struggled to focus on anything other than her body pounding in pain. The blood had now dried leaving a sticky texture on her skin but through the pain and throbbing, she could no longer feel. The word coursed through her veins.

"You have made such a mess!" He spat out at her

She next heard a sharp crack split the icy air. She gulped for air, as a shiver of fear made her body freeze up. She felt the pain before she heard the second crack. The whip slashed across her right breast as she bit her tongue, trying to hold in the scream beginning to build in her chest.

The whip fell again, cracking against her broken cheekbone and she whimpered in pain, gasping for breath through the gag.

Emily groaned into the gag as she felt something cold press against her anus and then her vaginal opening. The plugs were shoved into her body so quickly that she registered the pain only after the chastity belt had been buckled and locked around her body.

The straps bit into her skin, digging deeply into her soft, slim waist. She could not control her shivering as she hung helpless, bound, gagged, and raped.

She prayed for death, for anything really, she was dirty and horrible damaged goods in her mind, the silence fell upon her like a knife. She prayed to a God she had longed forgotten that she would be found in time.

Rob turned and looked at her "I thought you would last longer than the others" Rob sneered.  
Emily's mind froze as she fully registered what he had said. He smiled sweetly at Emily even though she could not see him "Time for your bath my love" his attitude changes so fast it had Emily's mind spinning one second he was nasty the next he sounded almost lovingly towards her.

Rob removed her binding and let her fall onto the hard cold concrete. Emily shuddered as she hit the floor hard, she wanted to run scream anything to get away from this crazed man.

Her mind slowly began to fail her, the pain overwhelming her senses and the lack of food and water did not help.

Rob attached the lead to her collar and before Emily had even registered the lead he yanked hard against her raw neck "Come on you need to be cleaned" Rob sneered as he half dragged her body.

Emily tried to crawl the pain was becoming a dull ache the belt rubbed against her skin as the metal clunked on the floor. Maybe it was a blessing she could not see anything!

Rob slammed the door behind them causing Emily to jump slightly he half dragged her into the other room before lifting her into the ice cold bath, only this time he never tied her to the bath a soft cushion laid beneath her head.

"I will warn you now" Rob said sweetly and calmly "You move or try and touch the sides you will get a lovely shock" confusion took over, the cushion the threat his somewhat kind voice.

Her body finally registered the pain the coldness as a lightly violent shiver coursed through her body causing her to touch the side of the bath, the electric ran through her body causing her to pass out with the pain.

Rob shook his head as he spoke "I warned you, maybe you will listen next time" with that, he began to scrub at her body until it was red raw. The pain made Emily come too slightly even though she wished she had not as she felt him scrubbing her bruised and battered body.

"I will let you rest in here for a while," Rob said as he chuckled aloud before leaving her alone in the ice bath. A sobbed ripped through her chest her only hope was that her team would find her!

**Location: BAU**

**Date & Time: 21 December 2006 9am**

JJ watched the clock ticking away, "she will be here soon then I can find out what the hell has happened this weekend" JJ muttered under her breath.

Reid looked towards JJ's office as he spoke "I have never seen her mad with anyone let alone Emily" Morgan shook his head "I don't think she is just mad did you see the glare she gave us" Morgan replied as he turned back around in the small kitchen area finishing making there drinks.

"I feel sorry for Emily when she gets here" Morgan handed Garcia her coffee "Do you know what's going on between them baby girl?" Morgan enquired.

Hotch walked out his office in a slight rush Rossi slightly behind him spotting everyone is there his voice booms causing everyone in the bullpen to jump "CONFERENCE ROOM NOW!"

The noise made JJ bolt upright in her chair as she walked out her office. "Someone pissed Hotch off as well?" Reid piped up, as they; all followed him into the conference room.

Sitting at their normal places, "Shall we wait for Emily?" Reid asked as Hotch cut in. "Have any of you heard or spoken to Emily since she left here Friday?" JJ sunk in to the chair shaking her head as everyone answered at the same time "No?"

Rossi looked at Hotch as his spoke "Her car has been found near the Roman's Pub was any of you with her Friday night?" Shaking his head Morgan spoke up. "We all went to the movies, Emily wanted to be alone."

JJ cut in "I've been trying to reach her all weekend but she hasn't picked up or returned my calls" Hotch and Rossi sighed, "We know JJ 42 missed calls.

Her phone ID and gun have been found in her car" JJ stood on shaky legs just making it to the bin as she heaved the bile burning her throat.

Garcia walked over and rubbed her back as JJ brushed her away. "How" JJ asked  
"We have spoken to the bar manager who reported her car after he spotted it the last two nights then reporting it, he said she left with a gentlemen looking slightly worse for wear" Hotch answered honestly.

Garcia frowned as she spoke "Emily with a man? He is sure it was Emily?" "What is that supposed to mean," Rossi asked the second time.

Garcia had heard the anger in his voice "Your profilers and you haven't worked out she is gay?" as Garcia said this both Morgan and Reid chocked on their coffee.

"Pardon?" Morgan sputtered out as he wiped his mouth. Garcia rolled her eyes "Hotch she would never leave with a man ever" JJ said bluntly.

"The bar manager said he has seen you all with him once or twice over the past 12 months" Rossi said as he looked at the younger members of the team. Hotch and Rossi; knew they were all close, and that they socialized outside of work. However, neither of them minded.

"Rob!" They all responded at once.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Please R&R**

**Location: BAU Garcia's office**

**Date and time: Unknown**

Emily slumps her body into the chair as she groaned inwardly "Garcia I cannot tell her last thing I want is to lose her as a friend," Emily argued,

"What is it with you profilers? Can you not see the way she is with you, the looks you each give each other and god help anyone who upsets either of you" Garcia argued her point.

"God Emily you're so stubborn you love her, what's the problem?" Emily's mouth opened to dispute what Garcia was saying.

However, for the first time in her life, she is, failed for words "She's my friend Garcia and yes I love her" Emily sighed as she rested her head in her hands.

"So tell her or drive yourself insane questioning if she feels the same" Garcia would never break their confidences they had in her but Garcia was close to banging their heads together.

"You all over think things just ask her or I will" Emily looked at her dumbfounded for a moment before finding her voice "I will if I could get her alone and the time was right, but I am so worried that things could turn south and she'd hate me."

Garcia smiled softly and shook her head "I have known JJ a long time Em and I have never heard her hate anyone aside from Strauss have you?" "No but Strauss doesn't have sexual feelings for her!" Emily pointed out.

Garcia slapped Emily at the back of the head just as JJ walked in "Garcia? What did Emily do to you?" JJ asked in the tone that more a less said do not lie and do not fob me off.

Emily half smiled at the memory of her friends of Garcia trying to make her open up to JJ and confess her feelings Emily sighed as she thought of never seeing JJ or her friends again a tear escaped the tape and rolled down her cheek.

**Location: BAU Garcia's office**

**Date and time: 21 December 2006 10am**

Garcia rushed in half slamming the door behind her though it didn't fully close as she started routing through her drawers "I know it's here somewhere damn it!" Garcia cursed herself as she finally found the camera she was looking for.

She had a habit of taking pictures whenever they went out together and she was sure she had taken a picture of Rob with them the last time they were all in the bar.

Hooking it up to her computer, she flicked through the pixels before finding what she was looking for.

There he was and for the first time she noticed how he was looking at Emily "That bastard" Garcia muttered as she hit print, grabbing the print out she turned slamming the door behind her yet again as she rushed back into the conference room "That's Rob" throwing the print out at Hotch.

Grabbing the laptop that was on the desk at the front Garcia set to work on the recognition software. Morgan "get this printed out to every law enforcement office in Washington," Hotch said as he handed Morgan the print out.

JJ sunk further into the chair her eyes red with unshed tears "Hotch we have to" Hotch nodded not letting her finish "I know and we will, Garcia anything? Do any of you know his last name?"

Rossi looked around the team, his family, they were like his children, he had the upmost respect for Emily and knew if anything happened to her; they would all feel it more than anything.

"JJ?" Rossi spoke softly; as he came towards the young press liaison "We will find her" resting his hand on her shoulder squeezing it slightly "Is there anything you can tell us about him?" Rossi asked.

"No we never really spoke to him much, he always tried to get Emily's attention she just never took him on" JJ replied her voice cracking slightly

"JJ this is important does he know she is FBI?" JJ looked at him widened eyed she had never thought of that this whole time they had been sitting her, Reid thought back through all their conversations with him "He has never asked what we did for a living" Reid responded

"Then she has a chance" Hotch said as he looked at his team.

Garcia had matched his photo with the DMV as the rest were talking "I have an address" Garcia shouted which even made Hotch jump "It's on your PDA's, bring her home safe!" Garcia pleaded.

Hotch nodded as the team geared up and rushing towards their cars "Morgan you go with JJ and Reid" Hotch said as they split into two cars Morgan nodded as he got into the driver's seat.

They drove silently towards the address turning there sirens off so he would not hear them as they pulled into the street stopping a few houses down the street.

**Location: Rob's house Minnie-Ville Road**

**Date & Time: 21 December 2006 1.03pm**

Emily was pulled from her thoughts as she heard the lock turn and the door open she tried to brace herself for what he would inflict upon her body.

"There all nice and clean" Rob said softly "Now time for your reward" He switched off the electric current that was attached to the bath.

As he leaned his body over and picked Emily up carrying her back into the cell which she had slept in, slowly her remove the gag letting her cough the blood up that had settled in the back of her throat, her lungs burned again as the stale air entered her deprived body.

"I have a lovely treat for you" Rob said the malice portraying in his voice as he retrieved the O shaped gag. Banging it against her teeth; as he locked it in place, more tightly than before.

Emily was glad she could not see but she heard everything its true what they say take one sense away and the rest take over more.

She heard his flies unzip, she braced her body, as she knew what he was going to do again, as he thrust himself inside her mouth hard and fast until she tasted the salty substance, she gaged as it ran down her throat, her body falling limply against the mattress of the cot.

As he removed the gag, he asked a question that made Emily freeze up completely "Who is JJ? And what is he to you!" Rob demanded.

Emily's body relaxed slightly as she did not respond to his question Emily heard and felt the whip slice her body again and still she refused to speak.

Rob started to ramble as he whipped Emily's bruised body the blood running down her skin "I have practiced on 25 people and yet you refuse to answer me," He hissed in an angry voice.

Emily flinched as her mind registered the number he had said the case they were meant to look at today. Another tear seeped through the tape as he thrashed her body harder.

**Location: Outside Rob's house Minnie-Ville Road**

**Date & Time: 21 December 2006 1.24pm**

Morgan and Reid's jaws dropped as they heard the man shout from what seemed to be coming from underneath them. JJ gripped Morgan's arm as he shouted out the number of woman as she heard the loud crack.

Hotch listen for a moment he eyes saddened as he could only picture what was happening below where they stood.

"We go in slow and steady and quietly we don't want him spooked," Hotch whispered to them "Morgan Reid go in through the back Rossi JJ your with me"

**Location: BAU Conference room**

**Date and time: 21 December 2006 1.34pm**

Garcia had managed to hack into Rob's computer viva a unsecure port which he was using to record the movements in the basement.

Garcia froze as she saw Emily sprawled across what looked like a bed she watched as the whip came down "Oh my god" Garcia sobbed as she watched in shock closing the page down she sent a message to Morgan "he's recording it"

**Location: Rob's house Minnie-Ville Road**

**Date & Time: 21 December 2006 1.35pm**

Morgan and Reid walked to the back of the house as he felt his phone vibrate quickly he looked at the message which made him stop in his tracks.

Reid walked into the back of him, Morgan snarled at Reid "Remind me to put a bullet between his eyes" the anger in Morgan's voice made Reid flinch as the slowly reached the back door.

Reid picked the lock and slowly opened the door as they crept into the kitchen area guns drawn they cleared each room meeting Hotch Rossi and JJ in the hallway they looked at the door at lead down into the basement.

Slowly Morgan opened the door before they started quietly down the stairs Hotch signalled for Rossi and JJ to stay upstairs. JJ glared at Hotch for a moment before she half nodded his request.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**Please R&R**

**Location: Rob's house (basement) Minnie-Ville Road**

**Date & Time: 21 December 2006 1.40pm**

"I asked" crack "you a question" crack "who is JJ" crack "answer me" crack "or I will find him myself" crack. Rob shouted between each whip, he brought down on her body.

Her eyes started to roll to the back of her head as the vomit seeped it way up into her throat the O shape gag making it impossible to breath to heave it simply trickled out of her body.

Her mind registered a slight sound from outside and she flinched in fear '**did he have friends?'** Emily thought to herself her body was to limp and too weak even to register full the amount of times he had hit her body.

The days began to mix in her mind just how long had she been here, her mind said Monday her body felt like it had been; beaten for weeks.

Morgan Hotch and Reid stood at either side of the door as they heard him shout JJ's name. They feared the worse when they did not hear Emily respond

JJ gripped hold of Rossi to steady herself upon hearing him shout her name she slowly regain her balance as she looked at Rossi as she started to edge towards the stairs wanting so much to blow his brains out.

"I won't ask you again" Rob bellowed as he reached for the chain wrapping it around his fist, as he stalked towards Emily ready to hit her with the chain his head snapped around as he heard a voice he knew shout.

"FBI step away from her" Morgan yelled the barrel of his gun aimed right at his head. Rob stumbled slightly as he looked at Derek "You….your…she's?" Slowly as the pieces came together, he found his footing turning towards Morgan.

His gun still aimed at his head Morgan almost begged him to try something so he could shoot him.

Rob turned back and looked at Emily's lifeless form before turning to charge at Morgan BANG the sound rung around the room as Rob's lifeless body fell to the floor.

JJ appeared behind Hotch leaning against the doorframe "Oh my god" the words fell so softly from her lips as she looked upon her friend's naked bloody body. "Blanket I need a blanket" JJ stuttered as she moved slowly over to Emily

"Em can you hear me" JJ spoke softly, Emily's body flinched weakly at the sound of different voices her mind could not recognise them.

JJ ran her fingers gently through Emily's hair speaking softly "Em your safe." She carefully unclipped the gag that was, tied cruelly in her friend's mouth.

Emily sputtered as soon as she was free of the metal inside her mouth, still not fully hearing what was, being said the words fell from Emily's lips so softly so quite that the team only just heard her **"forgive me Jennifer"**

Morgan called for the medics, which were waiting with Rossi upstairs before coming down into the basement as they entered you could hear them gasp in shock at what laid before them.

"Ma'am can we have some room please" He said softly to the small blonde at the side of their patience. JJ nodded numbly as she watched her friend flinch from the unwanted touches upon her skin.

JJ spoke in such an angry voice even Hotch had to look twice "Get off her, can you not see she is terrified!" The medics looked at her as to dismiss her completely "With all due respect Ma'am"

Hotch quickly stepped in before his highly emotional agent did something she would regret "Let JJ do this she has been through enough I am sure you can talk her through it or at least allow her near my agent" Hotch's voice was dangerous and bore no room for disagreement

"Very well, just try and keep her calm please" Emily never made a sound as her body flinched and shivered as the medics touched her body she couldn't tell if they were kind or nasty each touch was like a knife against her body.

As the voices became clearer she heard one she knew which sent a wave of panic through her body "JJ No Run" Emily's voice horse and clear as she fumbled the words off her lips. "Shh you're safe Em," JJ said softly as she gently ran her hands through her hair.

As the medics removed, the blanket JJ had place over her body JJ finally registered what was around her waist as the bile rose in her throat the words stumbled out of her mouth "take…that. Off…her" Morgan Hotch and Rossi all caught sight of what JJ was referring to.

Reid walked out the room as he vomited in the other room as he looked around the team heard as Reid's words fell from his mouth "Holy mother of god!"

"Ma'am" The medic looked at her sadly "I can't just in case there is damage we can't see" JJ closed her eyes as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Ma'am" JJ interrupted him "Call me JJ please" The medic smiled sadly at the agent "We need to get this lady to the hospital" JJ looked at Hotch with the fire in her eyes that booked no argument Hotch was willing to debate "I am going with her" With that the medics and JJ left.

Morgan turned to Hotch "The sick son of a bitch recorded it Hotch" Hotch closed his eyes as Morgan spoke "I need to see it" Hotch spoke the sadness laden in his voice. Rossi growled slightly "I think I need away from this basement" as he turned to leave and the rest of the team followed.

Morgan reached for his phone hitting speed dial "We got her baby girl" Morgan said not even giving her chance to speak.

"I saw" Garcia sobbed into the phone "Is she alive?" the worry evident in her voice "Yes there are on the way to the hospital. Hotch said you can leave, think JJ could use a friend with her right now" Morgan hung up the phone as Garcia sobbed her reply into the phone.

**Location: BAU**

**Date & Time: 21 December 2006 3pm**

Hotch, Rossi Reid and Morgan all sat around the table as Hotch warned them all to brace themselves as what they were going to see wasn't going to be pleasant viewing.

After three hours of viewing the tape they all sat there in shock Reid was the first to stand rushing towards the bin as he vomited violently "That bastard" Rossi growled.

Morgan had tears rolling down his cheeks as he shook his head "I need to get out of here" Morgan said sadly as he rose to leave "Morgan where are you going?" Hotch asked calmly "The hospital" Was all Morgan said as the rest of the team followed him out of the room the blank sad expressions on their faces.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**Thank you to those who have commented and are following this story**

**Please note the medical side may not be fully correct but there again I do not have a PhD so if there are errors forgive me and as ever please R&R**

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Date and time: 21 December 2006 2.05pm**

Garcia burst through the doors in the waiting room "Any news?" Garcia asked, JJ as she rushed to her sitting down beside her, as JJ shook her head in response.

"JJ she's made it this far after everything he put her through" She blurted out as JJ stared blankly at her, JJ shook her head slightly "I doubt we will know everything he did to her," JJ said sadly fighting back the tears.

Garcia rubbed JJ's back as she spoke softly and slowly "JJ he recorded it all"

"He did what!" JJ half yelled at Garcia "I'm sorry I saw it didn't watch it though" Garcia stopped mid-sentence not wanting to carry on.

"You have your laptop with you Pen and don't lie to me" JJ voice was low and calm but dangerous as she asked "Yes"

"I need to see it" JJ said sadly "I have to see it" JJ said as the tears filled her eyes, Garcia shook her head slightly "You might, but I can't sit here when you watch it JJ, what I saw was enough" Garcia replied honestly as she handed over the laptop.

"I know Pen" JJ looked sadly at her as she turned the laptop on and Garcia showed her the link to it. "I'll go get us some coffee's Jayj" Garcia ran her hand down JJ's arm before leaving the waiting room.

JJ sat there in shock as she watched it the words haunting her as she heard them play over in her mind she fast-forwarded much of what happened, as she could not watch Emily suffer like that.

However, hearing '**sorry JJ'** played repeatedly in her mind. She sat for a long time staring at the screen, which thankfully was now blank as the tears rolled down her face. The movement made JJ jump and reach for her gun "JJ it's me" Morgan said softly "It's just me" as he removed the laptop off her lap.

"Sorry I" Morgan half smiled as Hotch spoke "We know JJ we have all seen it" The teams faces all had the same sickening look as she felt.

"Is there any news?" Rossi asked in an attempt to break the silence that had surrounded them "She's still in surgery" a warm arm wrapped around her, which she gladly leaned into as the tear overwhelmed her again.

"I've got you JJ," Garcia said softly as she repeated the same motion she had just the other night

A man appeared in the doorway for the waiting area clearing his throat to get someone attention even he could tell these people were upset by the state the young woman was in "Is there a family member I could speak to please?" the surgeon asked the group of people in front of him.

Rossi smiled as he looked at JJ "Jennifer is her next of kin" this in turn caused everyone in the room to look at him as though he was insane.

"Rossi" Hotch warned "Here is the paperwork to prove it" Rossi smirked as he handed the surgeon the papers before letting Hotch see them, JJ froze up slightly before speaking "You can say it in front of us all we are family" She looked sadly at him.

"Right well I would like to start with the good news" He smiled softly at the people in front of him "Emily made it out of surgery it was touch and go for a while and her body is very weak, we have had to pin her jaw as it had been badly broken. She has seven broken ribs, which will take some time to heal. the bruising is serve, we managed to remove the metal that covered her neck wrists and ankles" he fell slightly over his words as he spoke.

"Ma'am, can I speak to you. in private please?" JJ looked at him for a moment before she nodded, she stood on shaky legs as she followed him into the hallway.

"What aren't you telling us?" JJ asked, "When we removed the belt there were substantial injuries to her lower extremities, she will need to have reconstructive surgery at a later date. There has been serve damage to both breasts which I have managed to stitch but she may benefit from plastic surgery at a later date when her body is well enough to undergo treatment, but for now the best we can do is make her comfortable."

JJ nodded as she took the information in "May I see her?" JJ asked softly. He smiled softly at her "Yes if you'd like to follow me. There are a lot of wires and machines helping her right now but she can hear you. Your friends are welcome to visit her as well she is in a private room" JJ smiled sadly as she opened the door to the waiting room "We can go and see her" JJ said softly.

The team followed the man down the long corridor before stopping outside the room "Two at a time only please, and my name is Doctor Grant" JJ rested her hand on the door as she slowly pushed it open, the machines beeped steady in the white sterile room making her way towards the bed.

JJ stumbled slightly Hotch gently steadied her as he followed behind her "Emily" were the only words that JJ could form as she sat in the chair next to her bed her hand reaching softly towards her fingers "Your safe now Em."

Hotch stood at the foot of the bed looking sadly "JJ I will see if you can stay here with her, She shouldn't be alone" Was all Hotch said before he left the room sending the rest in one at a time.

As Hotch watched for a few moments before finding Doctor Grant, after explaining everything and even using Emily's mother's status to the best of his advantage. He had agreed and arranged for a second bed to be, brought into the room.

JJ lifted her head slightly hearing the doors open again seeing two porters bringing in another bed and more blankets "Thank you" JJ said softly as they were leaving. "JJ get some rest we will just be outside if you need anything" Hotch looked at her and smiled she could see four figures lining the glass windows, JJ nodded her eyes not fully leaving Emily "I will Hotch" JJ replied sadly as she kept watched over her fallen friend.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Date and time: 21 December 2006 6.15pm**

Hotch stood in the corridor nodding Rossi over." Is everything alright?" He asked "She is coping she won't say why they need to operate again though" Hotch replied "She'll be fine she's strong and JJ well we both know she won't let anything happen to her that doesn't need to happen" Rossi assured Hotch

JJ sat there in silence running her fingers gently through Emily's hair as she spoke softly to her "I remember the first day I met you Em, Your smile lit up the dank work we do" JJ sighed softly as a voice broke her thoughts "She loves you JJ" Garcia said as she closed the door softly behind her.

JJ looked at her friend slightly and frown "I wish that was true Pen but she has no idea I feel the same" JJ's eyes drifted sadly back to watch Emily's chest rise and fall.

"She told me" Garcia said softly as she walked slowly over towards the bed "Your both too damn stubborn to tell each other" She smiled softly at them both "She will wake up Jayj just give her time" JJ nodded as the tears started to roll down her cheek "Thank you" Was all she managed to say.

"If you need anything I will just be outside," Garcia said as she started towards the doors, JJ smiled at her friend before looking up and watching Garcia leave "A bowl of water and a sponge?" JJ asked softly, Garcia turned and nodded softly "I'll go and get you something."

With that JJ was again left alone with her thoughts she smiled as she thought about what she had just been told "Is that true Em?" She asked knowing she would get no reply not yet anyway.

Garcia returned ten minutes later wheeling a small metal trolley in "I have basin with warm water sponge and a soft towel" Garcia smiled softly as she wheeled it towards the bed.

"The nurse says to be careful around the wires and her jaw" Garcia paused "What else?" JJ enquired noticing the worried look on her friends face "They said not to lift her gown" She frowned slightly as she spoke JJ just nodded "I know" JJ shook her head slightly the one sign, that she wanted to be alone.

"Morgan has gone to get your go bag from your house I gave him your key" Garcia said softly before leaving the room "Thank you" She said softly as she watched her leave, leaving her alone with Emily.

Pulling the trolley closer towards the bed "You'll feel better without all this blood and dirt on you"; JJ said softly as she started to gently dab her skin, the surgeons had done a marvellous job but one thing they never seemed to do was clean the blood away.

That bastard had used so many different methods that she doubted Emily's mind would be able to tell the difference between a friendly touch and the beginnings of an attack.

"Emily, you have to hold on for me," she whispered, slowly moving down Emily's body, unable to keep the tears back as she saw more of the brutal injuries marring her friend's arms and hands.

She didn't dare move the cover that was over Emily, She knew what injuries laid beneath "You hang in there Emily" JJ said as she half sobbed the words out "I love you" for the first time in 3 years JJ had finally admitted that she was in love with this woman.

A low giggle pulled her from her task and thoughts as her face snapped up and glared at the man in the doorway "It takes her being fully unconscious for you to finally tell her JJ" Morgan smiled softly as he walked in with her go-bag. "That's just wrong" His smile was kind and warm, and she knew deep down that he was sincere "Never had the nerve before" JJ half-chuckled as she spoke he was right in what he was saying.

JJ sat down in the chair next to Emily her finger automatically playing with her hair  
"We are going to grab something to eat I think you should go too I'll stay here with her" he smiled softly praying that JJ would for once allow someone close enough to help.

"I can't what if she wakes up?" she argued, shaking his head slightly "JJ she is in a unconscious and recovering for surgery. I doubt she is going to wake up in the next hour, please before Garcia takes her worry and anger out on me" JJ could just imagine Garcia shouting at Morgan for no reason.

And after watching that video she couldn't blame her "Can you just bring me a sandwich please?" Morgan nodded knowing that once she had made her mind there was no way in hell anyone was going to change it "I'll grab you some coffee as well" Morgan smiled as he left the room.

"I doubt she is going to leave her side anytime soon" He said softly to the team "Would you?" Rossi asked with a bemused look on his face "I guess not".

Rossi Morgan and Reid walked down the long corridor as they had all thought it would be better to get the food and drink for the coffee shop across the road.

"How long do you think til she is awake "Reid asked quietly which Morgan and Rossi only just heard.

"Right now the best thing is for her to sleep and rest" Rossi replied sadly "We will all need to show her support and understanding"; they all knew they were in for a long road ahead and they all knew JJ was not going to leave her side.

"Hotch has managed to get us all sometime off the other team will cover all Christmas and New Year for now that's the best he can do"

Her mind was blank she could not feel she was confused she wanted to open her eyes but her body failed her again.

he had succumbed to the darkness she wanted to scream, cry for help but still nothing she could feel the soft touch on her head, hear the soft voice, was she dreaming was it real or was she dead.

The thoughts ran through her mind the fear the pain she remembered but now she was numb blank. She felt movement and a voice she did not recognise, she wanted to tense to run but all she could do was lay there in silence.

The nurse came in and spoke with JJ before the porter came to wheel Emily down to surgery "She will be back in a few hours why don't you go and freshen up, she is in the best possible hands" The nurse said softly to JJ. "I'll be fine thank you" JJ really did not want to leave the room let alone the hospital.

JJ sat back in the chair near to where Emily had been closing her eyes she let the sleep over takes her. She felt the presents of something as her eyes snapped open to fall upon her best friend "Hey Garcia" JJ said with her sleepy voice.

Garcia panicked slightly just seeing JJ sat in the chair; they had all gone for a walk while they waited for the other three to return, "Where is she?" She asked in a slightly high-pitched voice.

JJ sighed as the tears yet again rolled down her cheek "They had to rush her back in something showed up on her scan" she said half-heartedly not wanting to tell her the full extent.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Date and time: 22 December 2006 12.15am**

Waiting can seem like days but normally you aren't waiting very long but it drags it feels as though that you are waiting for everything and yet nothing comes, You feel it should have already finished and you can begin to get back to normal or heal.

However, who knows it is a waiting game and everyone hates a waiting game. JJ had finally drifted off while she waited for Emily to return.

They wheel her slowly in to the recovery room. What should have only took a few hours turned into 5 hours. They had managed to drain the build-up of blood clot that had developed at the back of her head and inserted a drain.

It had been touch and go for a while as they discovered her collar bone was protruding through her skin and had to fixed with a plate and screws.

They brought Emily back to her room an hour later making her comfortable, the nurse looked over at JJ who was fast asleep on the chair "Don't wake her" Came a voice from behind "I'll wake her in a while poor girl hasn't slept much" Garcia said softly "Is Emily okay?"

"Yes she is" replied the nurse "She should also wake on her own now as they have not given her anymore sedatives" The nurse said before heading out of the room

Garcia walked over to a sleeping JJ and very gently rocked her "Sweetie Emily is back" She spoke softly as JJ, snapped out of her dream "What?" She asked still not fully awake.

"Emily is back and she should wake up on her own I thought you would like to be awake just in case" "Thanks Pen" JJ smiled softly at Garcia. JJ started to run her fingers through her hair it had become natural since, she had been injured. Garcia smiled softly.

The eternal dream, the nightmare that never seems to end, she was trapped no one was coming no one knew where she was. She was going to die here in this hell hole alone, away for her friends, her family she knew somewhere deep down this was it this was the end, it was what her life had become, alone in the darkness.

Her eyes twitched as she continued to sleep, was she asleep? Was this all just one big nightmare? She felt something playing with her hair.

She was not safe, she was going to get beaten and hurt again! Her mind played tricks on her, she waited for the blows waited for death to take her, yet nothing came, she felt numb, her body sore yet not defining the pain in was in was this hell?

The smell and taste of blood had worn off from her senses instead she could smell a light scent that even through everything she knew that smell, Was she really here was her mind playing tricks had she been taken as well.

**"Run! Please! get out of here"** She tried to call out, she felt her voice fail her the words never leaving her lips, She felt a grip on her hand tighten. However, not too tight as though it was reassuring her she started to hear the voice.

A voice she never thought she would hear again "your safe Em, come back to me" JJ spoke softly unsure if Emily could hear her "I need you" That plea, it wasn't an order it was a plea a request.

She tried to open her eyes she tried to speak, not sure if she could be heard her voice sore and raspy "I'm sorry" She muttered hoping to be heard not sure if her mind was playing more tricks on her.

Emily's mind played tricks as the darkness over took her back into the hell hole that she had somehow become use to.

She waited for the blows for the pain but still nothing came, she felt something on her hand it was soft and warm. She knew the scent, that touch that feeling but could she trust her mind, her feelings?

The darkness began to subside as she began to wake. Her eyes fluttered her muscles twitched her hand flinched away from the hold as she began to panic she wanted to run she could no longer feel her bindings that held her in that cruel grasp,

JJ looked softly at Emily as she felt her pull away, she saw the wild frighten look in her eyes it broke JJ's heart to see her like this "Hey, it's okay Em your safe!" She tried to reassure her.

Emily looked blankly at her she knew that voice, but she did not trust her mind she could not.

She flinched again this time she hit the bars on the bed, she began to panic more she was trapped, everything she could see and feel was just her mind playing tricks on her.

"Look at me!" JJ said it was more of a demand than her asking, she turned her head slowly to the voice she knew, those words she had said them before.

However, was this just her mind playing tricks on her, she heard the words again "Emily look at me" Her voice conveyed worry this time.

She turned to see if what she heard was real or her mind playing tricks, her eyes locking into focus as they met blue orbs, she knew them eyes that soft look, she felt safe for the first time since she was taken "Forgive me?" Emily said; that as she looked into those blue eyes, JJ shook her head slightly.

"Shh! your safe Em" Was all she could reply she had nothing to forgive. JJ looked into the brown chocolate eyes that she loved but now she saw pain and fear.

Emily's eyes closed as sleep tried to take over "Rest Em I'll be here when you wake" JJ said as she saw Emily's eyes closed fighting the sleep that she so badly needed. She began to drift the words leaving her lips just as sleep began to take her "Love you Jay"

JJ sat looking at her for a moment did she mean that? She was asleep she could not have meant it. JJ took hold of her hand again settling into the chair to watch over her, she spoke to her knowing Emily couldn't hear her "I love you too Em"

Being a prisoner to your dreams and to your mind can be worse than the real thing, it never stops in your dreams there are no breaks it just keep repeating over and over again until your body finally allows you to wake.

You can feel it repeatedly sometimes you can even taste it! And this was where Emily was at, the never ending dream it feels so real. "Save me JJ! Please!" Emily begged in her sleep.

The noise and words ripped JJ from her sleep, more like someone slapping you very hard when you had no clue it was coming. She took hold her hand as she stood over the bed brushing the hair away from Emily's eyes.

She spoke softly and calm even though she didn't feel it watching someone you love care for be tormented and hurt even in their sleep is heart-breaking.

"Hey Em your safe, I've got you!" JJ said softly as Emily flinched against her touch. "I'm right here Em, Please wake up!" It was more than a prayer. JJ begged as she carried on running her fingers gently through her hair.

The noise made Morgan jump as he move to the doorway, he opened the door slowly looking at them both. Watching your partner go through hell was not something you could ever forget and seeing his partner like this broke his heart. "JJ is everything okay?" Morgan asked keeping his voice low.

JJ's eyes met his, her eyes blood shocked "I think she is having a nightmare" she spoke softly as hand fingers continued to run through her hair, her eyes drifted back to Emily. Morgan walked slowly over to JJ "She will wake up JJ" Morgan assured her "I know" Her eyes never shifting off Emily as she replied.

The silence fell on the empty room even the machines had become like a humming sound that blended into the lull of the room. JJ had taken her seat moving it closer to Emily so she could rest her head on the bed and be closer.

Finally, she allowed sleep to wash over her again. Emily started to stir slowly. Flinching slightly at the form next to her, her mind still foggy and still she waited for pain and abuse to fall upon her.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Date and time: 23 December 2006 7.45am**

Emily awoke slowly, pulling herself out of a nightmare of darkness and agony, she felt pinned by a weight across her waist. The terror threatened to drown her, slowly she opened her eyes sighing softly as the tape was finally gone.

Her instincts made her wary. She was glad of her caution moments later when the dim lights seemed to blind her. She closed her eyes before she tried to open them again.

Once again, she was forced to close her eyes again, and this time she used the time to think. She knew that her kidnap and torture had happened. That much, was burned into her memory, but there was something else that she could not be sure was reality.

She hoped it was. With that terrifying thought at the fore of her mind, she opened her eyes, and this time she was able to keep them open, though she had to blink hard a few times. Her view was hazy, but did not eliminate nor did it prove she was free.

Blinking slowly, she turned her head, her eyes, barely able to make out the shape of a woman's face. As she adjusted to the dim light, she was able to differentiate between tanned golden skin and strands of blonde hair.

Her eyes widened as her brain made the leap to who the owner of that face was. She glanced down, assuring herself that the warm, living weight around her waist was an arm, but then the panic returned.

All she knew so far was that Jennifer Jareau was lying next to her. And that didn't mean either of them were safe, despite the lack of restraints and the relative comfort of the bed she was on. Fear cleared some of the fog, and the adrenaline rush gave her the strength to shift slightly, ignoring how much moving hurt.

"Emily?"

The sound of her name got her to turn back to JJ, but the woman was apparently still asleep.

If she had woken up to find that JJ was being tortured as she had been, she thought she would have shattered, but her mind clung to the very real weight and warmth of her friend.

As long as JJ was safe, she could hold on. She felt her whole body tense as she remembered terror, but she again distracted as JJ stirred, lifting her head up tiredly., JJ froze as she realized Emily was awake and looking back at her.

"Emily" she smiled softly at her friend as she continued to run her finger through her hair. "You're safe now, Emily,"

"How... how long?" she rasped, hoping JJ would understand. "Four days in total, we found you yesterday," JJ replied, watching as Emily's eyes widen. "How bad is it?"

Here Jennifer hesitated, but Emily knew she would not lie to her. She was just trying to find the right words, the ones that would tell her both the good news and the bad without sending her into a panic.

"Bad, Emily," JJ started at last, her blue eyes, bloodshot and dull, filled with pain and what might have been tears, "He cracked a few of your ribs and caused some internal bleeding. They have dressed your wounds. You will need more surgery though" JJ closed her eyes trying to focus on what she was saying.

Emily nodded slightly as she tried to form words "Is… are I mean," Emily sighed as a single tear rolled down her cheek "They think plastics will be able to correct the damage he has down to your chest and" JJ's voice trailed off slightly.

Emily tried to lean towards JJ understanding what she was trying to tell her "It's okay JJ" Emily said softly, JJ shook her head slightly meeting Emily's eyes with her own before continuing.

"You had a bleed in your brain which they had to drain late last night. It was touch and go for a while" Emily nodded numbly "I was really worried about you," she whispered

Before JJ could continue, a blonde nurse entered, pulling the curtain slightly back to reveal a wheeled tray covered in cloths and other items. "Hi Miss. Prentiss," she chirped brightly. "My name is Kelly and I'm here to clean you up a little and check your dressings" JJ looked at Emily and then back at the nurse. JJ started.

"Do I need to leave?" But Kelly cut her off, "Only if Miss. Prentiss wants you to." Emily rolled her eyes slightly "Stay JJ! Please. Kelly please call me Emily" her voice was raspy and slightly shaky as she spoke

"Alright then," confirmed the nurse. "Let's start." Kelly ripped open a foil package and drew out a steaming, wet cloth. She began with Emily's arms, cleaning her fingers gently and as much of the rest of her arm as she could reach.

Once finished with the first cloth, the nurse picked up a soft towel and patted Emily's damp skin to keep her from feeling chilled. JJ perched on the side of the bed and held the fingers of Emily's right hand in hers as the nurse tore open the second foil package.

This time she cleaned Emily's face, ghosting over her broken and swollen cheekbone. She carefully wiped the wincing brunette's neck before she eased the thin gown down to reveal Emily's collarbone and shoulders and the tops of the thick bandages protecting her collarbone and brutalized breasts.

As she worked, Kelly hummed to herself and occasionally spoke to Emily, letting her know what she was doing. She pulled the gown a little further down to inspect the bandage and, seeing the blood beginning to soak through, "I'll let your charge nurse know that these need to be changed." Emily struggled to hold back her tears at the thought of her most private areas.

Kelly re-tied the gown around Emily's neck and pulled the warm blankets up to tuck them snugly over her shoulders. She then moved to the foot of the bed and lifted the blankets from Emily's legs before tenderly cleaning as much of the foot and leg as she could reach; she pushed the blanket up a little further to reveal the bandages hiding Emily's mutilated core.

Emily closed her eyes tightly as she weakly squeezed JJ's slender hand. JJ made soothing sounds low in her throat as she started to run her fingers gently through Emily's hair, trying to pass on as much strength as she could to her. Kelly inspected the bandage gently before beginning to cleanse around the area.

Kelly pulled the gown and blankets back down to re-cover Emily's, now shivering form. Kelly spoke softly, "I'll send your charge nurse in when she's available to change your bandages and update your chart, Emily." She then turned and wheeled the cart away, pausing to close the privacy curtain as she left.

The tears fell from Emily's eyes as she sobbed uncontrollably "Shh, your safe Em, the rest we can work out" JJ whispered softly as she knew why Emily was crying. The tears finally subsided as Emily looked up tiredly at JJ.

"JJ... I think I'm falling asleep," she whispered faintly, realizing only as she said it that it was true. She had obviously exhausted whatever reserves her body had managed to regain, and she could live with it as long as she knew she would never wake up in that place again.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

**Many of you may not agree with how I have portrayed Emily's mother but as ever please R&R even if you do not agree with it ;)**

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Date and time: 23 December 2006 8.15am**

Hotch opened the door slowly as to not disturb Emily as she was sleeping peacefully he smiled softly as he motioned to JJ to join him in the hallway "Has she woken up at all?" Hotch asked.

"She woke for about half an hour" JJ half smiled as she kept trying to watch the inside of the room "I won't keep you long JJ, I have sent everyone to get some breakfast and to change, will you be okay, we should be back within a few hours" He said softly.

JJ nodded "That's fine, Hotch? Is there any chance you could get Morgan to get me a few things from my house as I could do with a shower, the nurse has said I can use Emily's" she asked softly as Hotch nodded "We won't be long" With that Hotch turned and head down the corridor and JJ quietly entered the room.

She sat watching still running her fingers through Emily's hair, a commotion outside pull JJ from her thoughts as she groaned slightly as she rose leaving the room to find out what the hell was going on outside the room.

"I do not care what her team say's I demand to know what room she is in" An angry voice said at the nurses, JJ shuddered internally as she recognized the woman who was shouting somewhat at the nurses "Ma'am?" JJ said softly, the woman turned and look at JJ "Agent Jareau.

I would say it's a pleasure, but under the circumstances..." the Ambassador trailed off slightly,

JJ professional walls slammed up as she spoke to her "If you'd like to follow me Ma'am" the Ambassador gently touched JJ's arm as you spoke softly "I think we can leave the professionalism outside, don't you Jennifer?"

JJ looked blankly at her for a moment even though she had only meet her a few times at work and while she was at Emily's this had totally taken her by surprise. "Ma'am?" JJ went to question again "Elizabeth please" The ambassador requested, now tell me where my daughter is please" JJ half smiled as she guided her into the room "She's only just gone back to sleep" JJ spoke quietly as she watched Emily.

JJ had never seen the Ambassador like this her words pulled her from her thoughts as she turned and looked at her "You look terrible, is there no food or coffee in this place?" Elizabeth asked as she looked at JJ, "I am sure she will be fine for a while shall we?" Elizabeth turned opening the door "Jennifer? You're no good to her if you don't look after yourself" JJ was slightly in shock; this was not the abrupt woman she knew.

JJ followed her outside the room slightly wary knowing that she could in fact whisk Emily away if she wanted to. As they walked toward the cafeteria Elizabeth spoke softly "I know my daughters wishes Jennifer."

This worried JJ somewhat "Ma'am with all due respect" JJ started but the ambassador cut her off "Is the care up to your standard?" She asked as she turned to look at JJ "Yes Ma'am" The woman sighed slightly.

"Let's leave the Ma'am outside please," She requested again, "I know my daughter and I also know her feelings towards you." This took JJ by surprise as she went to speak again but again she was cut off "I am not a total bitch Jennifer and me and Emily do talk" she smiled softly at her.

After getting some food and coffee, they both sat around the table; there were not too many people around as Elizabeth spoke again "Can you please tell me what has happened and what the injuries are please?" Elizabeth asked eyeing up JJ as she spoke.

JJ explained everything and told her all the injuries Emily had endured at the hands of Rob; she stumbled slightly over her words. "There's more, that you aren't saying?" Elizabeth asked as JJ blushed shyly a tear rolling down her cheek. she didn't want to talk about Emily's more private areas as she still thought it was her place so she settled on the half-truth "She will need both plastic and corrective surgery" JJ said as she looked down at her hands.

Elizabeth gasped slightly as she had some idea of what she was being told "Does Emily know?" She enquired "Yes Ma… Elizabeth" JJ corrected herself as she spoke which cause Elizabeth to smile softly.

"If you feel the care is not up to standard we can have her moved to a more competent hospital" as she said this JJ panicked somewhat "With all due respect unless Emily says she wants to."

JJ was again, cut off again "Jennifer I will not force nor will I take her from here unless you feel she needs better care, my daughter trusts your judgement and therefore I do as well." She said in a steady but caring voice.

JJ smiled at this as she spoke "They have been fantastic with her" Elizabeth nodded "May I ask you a question and I would appreciate an honest answer" JJ nodded as she listened to the ambassador. However, what she asked made JJ choke on her coffee "Do you have feelings for my daughter?"

"Wh…What?" JJ blushed deeply as she recovered herself. "A simple yes or no would suffice Jennifer" Elizabeth chuckled slightly as she took in the shocked look upon her face, JJ nodded as the words failed her.

She smiled but spoke seriously "If it was up to me I would bang both your heads together! Why have you not told Emily?" JJ never answered her she just looked blankly at the table "I am well aware of Emily's sexuality Jennifer and I have and never had any problem with it, but if you hurt her I will have a problem. So if you feel this is too much or you are unable to stand by her you must tell me now."

JJ whispered her reply "I'd do anything for her" the tears rolled down her cheek as Elizabeth rose placing her hand on her shoulder. "Then let's get you back downstairs and you can take a shower while I sit with Emily"


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Date and time: 23 December 2006 9.35am**

Emily stirred slightly from her sleep, as she woke she could make out the figure near her "JJ?" she said softly as she turned her still unfocused eyes towards the figure, the voice answered sending her body into panic "Ma'am?" The male nurse replied as he looked over at her.

Emily froze as the voice the figure near her sent waves of panic through her body as she tried to flinch away. as the fear washed over her, she remembered JJ being there. And all she could think and focus on was the basement and the upcoming torture that would be inflicted on her. More importantly, she feared what this figure had done with JJ

As the fear and panic set in she began to thrash violently in the bed, the nurses voice rose slightly "I need some help in here!" he bellowed as four more nurses flooded into the room sending Emily more and more into a fit of panic as they tried to hold her still.

The two women walked slowly down the corridor, the noise bring both women out of their thoughts. As they turned the corner, rushing towards Emily's room wear the commotion was emanating from Emily's room.

JJ froze as she saw five nurses holding Emily down and placing restraints on her as she weakly tried to fight them off. Elizabeth had walked slightly in to the back of the frozen press liaison.

As she too looked into the room seeing them holding her daughter down the anger in her voice as she spoke made JJ jump "GET OFF HER, RIGHT NOW!" Elizabeth ordered, as the nurses turned to look were the voice had come from.

Emily laid stiff as a board in her bed, her arms and legs tightly bound to the rails of her bed, and a wide-eyed look of frozen terror on her face.

"Move away from her now, can you not see your scaring her!" JJ said in a dangerous voice. "Get out now" Elizabeth ordered as the nurses tried to push the two women to one side as they spoke "This is for her own safety" The male nurse said coldly, which made JJ get more angry. "I said move, before I move you myself" The fire and disgust latent in her voice.

Kelly had walked onto the ward as her shift started that morning upon hearing the raised voices coming from one of the private rooms she rushed down towards her patient, she stopped mid-step.

As she saw what was going on "Everybody out now!" Kelly ordered in a professional manner. "Emily!" JJ muttered still reeling and slightly frozen as the nurses moved away from Emily's side.

Slowly JJ approached the terrified woman as calmly as she could, she spoke softly "Emily look at me sweetie" gently she moved to take hold of Emily's hand; Emily panicked more as she felt the touch.

"Emily! Look at me!" JJ tried again with more authority in her voice, hoping to bring her friend out of the terror that been inflicted, on her yet again.

Unfocused eyes meet blue ones as she finally registered the voice, she looked blankly at her for a few moments as JJ slowly tried again to touch her, Emily flinched slightly at the touch but blue eyes held her deep brown eyes to hers as she spoke.

"Your safe Emily" she said as calmly as she could. Emily's voice was weak and strained as she spoke, still held in the terror of the basement "Run" as a tear ran down her cheek "Shh.. your safe Emily" fear still latent on Emily's face as she looked into her friends eyes, eyes she trusted, she tugged weakly at the binding that held her to the bed.

JJ ran her fingers gently through her hair as she spoke "I need you to stay still , okay?" she said softly as she ran her fingers down her arm meeting the leather restraints that held her friends wrists.

Brown eyes focused on her voice and eyes as she nodded weakly. Slowly and gently JJ removed the restraints that the nurses had placed on her already bruised and frail skin. Humming softly as she kept her movements slow and steady her gaze never leaving Emily's face.

As JJ removed all the bindings from her wrists and ankles, she smiled softly at Emily, "I will be right back, okay?" Emily nodded as the fear and panic drifted away from her mind.

Kelly followed JJ and Elizabeth out to the nurses' station "I want to know what the hell happened" JJ's voice was dangerous and firm as the five nurses looked at the small blonde "NOW!" she snapped.

"She woke up and panicked" the male nurse brushed her off, which caused JJ to become angrier as Elizabeth cut in "Is that how you treat trauma and rape victims? Sending a male nurse in to see to her care?" "I was just checking her charts" He tried to dis-miss the two women before he noticed Kelly stood behind them.

Kelly's voice cut in before the agent and ambassador could start again "You was told not to go in that room. By Doctor Grant, and me, you all are aware of the trauma she has suffered and yet you still, went in there. Causing my patient to panic and no doubt have caused more damage to her injuries," she stated as all five nurses looked down as though a teacher was shouting at them. "I suggest you all leave right now" Kelly ordered "And off my ward"

Kelly looked at the two women, "I am so sorry JJ Ma'am!" Kelly said sincerely. JJ nodded as she began to walk back towards Emily's room as she spoke "If any of them come in. I will not be held responsible for my actions" her voice giving no room for a disagreement "I doubt they will have jobs when I am through" Kelly said softly as she followed the two women back into the room.

Emily laid still in the bed as the fear and panic started to pass, the three women walked back into her room "I need to check her dressings" Kelly said softly as she could see the blood seeping through her blankets. "I'll wait outside Jennifer," Elizabeth said softly as her eyes washed over her daughter sadly.

JJ just nodded as a tear ran down her cheek before slowly walking over to Emily's side. She spoke softly and calmly "Emily, Kelly just needs to check your dressings" she watched Emily. As she spoke she could still see the fear on her face, JJ took hold of Emily's hand, as she whispered softly "I'm not going anywhere your safe" Emily nodded slightly as she watched JJ.

Kelly walked slowly over towards the two women, as she did not want to frighten her more than she already was. Causing stress and fear too anyone is bad enough but someone who had gone through so much already could have dreadful consequences on a person.

Kelly spoke softly as she approached the side of the bed. "Emily I need to check your dressings and change your blanket" she said softly; as she slowly moved her hands towards the top of the blanket, which had turned red, in Emily's struggles.

Gently she removed the blanket that was covering her chest, JJ was talking softly to Emily her eyes focused on her face and not was the nurse was doing at the side of her.

Emily closed her eyes slightly as she felt her touch her skin and she flinch slightly "Shh.. I've got you" JJ reassured her. Kelly had removed the dressings slowly and gently as she could, revealing her swollen and reddened breasts. Emily turned her head in shame, trying to hide herself into JJ.

For just a moment JJ's eyes left Emily as Kelly spoke "I will have to get the doctor too come and have a look, her stitches have burst" she said softly as JJ caught a glimpse of the exposed flesh. She half flinched as she finally saw the damaged that had befallen Emily; "Okay" she said softly feeling the tears fall onto her hand she looked back to Emily who had been watching JJ's movements.

"It's okay sweetie," she said softly. Emily shook her head slightly, as she became embarrassed and humiliated "Ss…oorr.y" Emily muttered as she started to close her eyes.

She smiled sadly at her friend as she wrapped her arm the best she could around her small frame "Don't be sorry Em" she said softly as she ran her fingers gently through her hair, for the first time in her life Emily doubted herself and the words she heard falling out of JJ's mouth. "I. You should. I mean" Emily stumbled over her words as she spoke and yet again JJ understood.

"I am not leaving you Emily Prentiss," she said firmly causing Emily to look into her eyes "What has happened to you is not your fault." She held her eyes in her own for a moment before the words softly fell from her mouth "I love you, and I am not going anywhere"


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Date and time: 23 December 2006 10.15am**

"I would like to be passed through to the person in charge of the hospital" "Yes I'll hold" after a few moments, the manager answered the phone. "This is Ambassador Prentiss, May I take your name?" She asked curtly.

"I am ringing regarding the care and treatment of my daughter Emily Prentiss" there was a long pause "I am her Mother and I have a right to voice my concerns and unless you resolve this matter I will take this above your head. I'm I clear enough for you" Elizabeth said abruptly.

Hotch and the rest of his team made their way towards the ward, they slowed down slightly as they hear a woman they all knew speaking in an abrupt manner to someone.

"I do not care what it takes, If I see them five people anywhere near my daughter again, you will have a lawsuit on your hands, so fast your head will spin I'm I clear enough for you!" Elizabeth said in an abrupt and angry tone.

"Hotch, can she do that?" Reid asked. "Unless she challenges JJ, then I don't think so!" Hotch replied

Do you have any idea what torture they have put her through" she stopped slightly

Hotch frowned slightly as they made their way slowly towards the Ambassador.

"No I am not exaggerating at all. if you want confirmation I suggest you get down here right now, or shall I have someone collect you?" There was a slight pause "I am glad we agree, may I point out if I see them near or around this ward I will also see that you also lose your job also, and I advise you not to test me!" snapping her phone shut not giving the man on the other end a chance to respond. She closed her eyes slightly as she tried to regain control over her anger.

"Ambassador?" Hotch said in a wary tone "Is everything" she cut him off "Jennifer is with Emily and I think she may have bust a few stitches" she said softly as she looked at Hotch.

He frown slightly they were all fine when they had left to go and change. "Aaron" she faltered as she spoke "They restrained Emily again and Jennifer is trying to calm her down" she never explained anymore as the team settled into the chairs next to her.

The doors to Emily's room opened as Kelly stepped out into the corridor "Ma'am she is comfortable now if you want to go and see her" Elizabeth nodded "The surgeon should be down soon, to take her back into theatre" she said sadly as she looked at the rest of the team.

JJ sat next to her bed whispering softly to her as she waited for the sobs that were coming from Emily subsided. "Jennifer?" Elizabeth said softly as she did not want to startle either of them. Raising her head to meet the Ambassadors JJ shook her head slightly as she looked at the blood that was seeping through the fresh blanket.

Slowly she walked over to the foot of the bed speaking soft but firm "Emily" she flinched at her name being said, "Emily" she said again softly as her daughter turned her head slightly looking towards the person at the foot of her bed "Mo…ther?" Elizabeth smiled softly at her daughter.

"Jennifer would you mind if I had a few moments alone with her please" JJ frowned slightly not fully understanding why she was asking permission from her "Of course Ma'am" JJ looked at her with an apologetic look on her face "Sorry, Elizabeth" JJ smiled sadly as she walked into the corridor.

Closing the door behind herself JJ leaned against the cool glass not noticing her friends sitting and looking at her, Hotch broke the silence as he spoke to her "JJ what on earth happened?" JJ's blood shocked eyes met concerned eyes as she finally broke down.

After a few moments JJ collected herself before looking at the rest of the team she sighed softly as she began to explain what had happened this morning, and how much damage Emily had done as she fought the nurses.

Kelly hovered near the station motioning for JJ to come to her, "Doctor Grant will be taking her shortly once they have sterilized the theatre" she said softly "Thank you" she replied before re-joining her friends.

Elizabeth walked slowly around the bed taking the seat that JJ had been sitting in "Emily sweetheart look at me" Emily tried to gain control over her emotions but failed as the words left her mouth "Mother, I…I.." The sobs came harder this time.

Elizabeth ran her fingers gently along her daughters face "No need to be ashamed darling" she said softly causing Emily to look at her with teary eyes.

Emily closed her eyes slightly as her Mother touched her face before she found the words she was looking for "It's bad" Elizabeth nodded slightly "I know, but you will recover Emily" she spoke softly.

"Don't look so worried I do not think she is going anywhere" she smiled as her daughter blushed slightly and shook her head "I...I mean. I'm a mess and she saw Mother" Emily broke down again as Elizabeth wrapped her arm carefully around her "And yet she still loves you, so it's not that bad" she comforted her daughter with what she needed to hear. A Mother just knows.

Emily shook her head against her body "She doesn't know" Elizabeth chuckled slightly as she answered "She knows now, and if you weren't so badly hurt I would be banging your heads together, very hard" she teased. As the sobs slowly slowed down as she realized what her Mother had said.

"You did what?" Emily asked somewhat confused and unsure she had heard correctly. Elizabeth ignored her question and smiled softly at her "If it was up to you two you'd dance around your feelings forever. I have just given it a push"

The slight knock on the door pulled both women out of their thoughts as a doctor entered the room "Ma'am, Emily" he smiled softly "We have to take you into surgery now." He said softly to them both "I'll be here when you come back Emily" she confirmed as the two porters started to wheel her out of the room.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Date and time: 23 December 2006 12.03pm**

Elizabeth left the room after a few moments to join the rest of Emily's team in the corridor. "Jennifer" JJ turn and look at her "Yes?" she replied. "Will you please go and have a shower and get changed."

She smiled softly at the younger woman "I am quite sure no one would mind" "what if she comes back and I am not here?" JJ tried to argue her point "Jennifer I very much doubt that and beside a shower won't take long unless you insist on arguing about it" Elizabeth pointed out.

"And if Emily returns and your still in the shower I will inform you" JJ nodded as she slowly walk into Emily's room grabbing her bag before stepping into the bathroom.

"They are both as stubborn as each other," Elizabeth commented as she sat back down in the corridor causing Morgan to laugh, "You have no idea Ma'am" she smiled at the young gentleman at her side. "Aaron?" she said in a firm voice.

The humour left behind. "Would you and the rest of your team mind doing something for me?" She asked, "What do you need us to do Ambassador?" Hotch asked still slightly wary of her.

Lifting her purse out of her bag and a small piece of paper she scribbled a few numbers down and a small list "Would you all be so kind and go shopping for me for a few bits. As I would rather stay with Jennifer and Emily" Hotch frowned slightly as Rossi replied "What do you need Elizabeth?" Rossi was the only one who could get away with not being formal in front of her.

She looked at him "it is Christmas Eve tomorrow, and I can tell you all have forgotten which is understandable" she smiled softly. "It would mean a great deal to me if you could pick some items up for me." She looked at Hotch as she handed her bankcard and list over to him. "I am very sure; I can trust you with this?"

"Yes Ma'am" Hotch smiled slightly as he replied taking the offered items. "And Aaron, can you please pick up some suitable nightwear for these two ladies" Hotch nodded as he ushered his somewhat shocked team down the corridor and out the hospital.

"Did that just happen?" Morgan said as they walked outside. "She was and is so" Reid tried to look for the words he needed "I guess personal and professional attires" Hotch smiled, he finally looked down at the list she had handed to him and shook his head slightly.

"This is going to be a long afternoon" Garcia laughed "I take it none of you have even been shopping with a Prentiss before?" the four men answered all together. "No" she smirked "Well if Emily takes after her Mother it should be easy."

JJ stepped into the shower the warm water hitting her skin, letting out a slight moan as her muscles finally relaxed under the heat, she allowed her mind to wonder over the past few days as she tried to process everything which had happened and everything she had been told.

JJ had also managed to keep her personal life just that, she never talked about dating or what she did, but Garcia knew everything, Emily she still hadn't opened up to fully always keeping one part of her hidden.

"If only I had the guts to tell her sooner" she muttered as the water sprayed her face. This was someone who had haunted her dreams for the past few years; she is the one who was always there when she needed someone to talk to, to listen to her.

After 15 minutes of the water spraying her body she turned, it off feeling revived and fresh as she towelled herself off, it suddenly dawned on her what the date was as she cursed aloud.

"Damn it" a gentle knock on the door pulled her out of the thought that swam in her head. "Jennifer is everything alright?" Elizabeth spoke in a concerned voice. "Y..yes" Her weak reply was enough.

For Elizabeth to demand she unlocked the door there and then "Jennifer open this door at once" She order and for some unknown reason JJ obeyed, opening the door her towel wrapped tightly around her the words stumbled out her mouth "It's Christmas eve tomorrow!"

Elizabeth nodded as she wrapped a stunned JJ in her arms "And that has been taken care of" she assured the younger woman.

"Now why don't you get some clothes on before you catch a chill" she said softly as she looked into sad blue eyes "Aaron can be trusted with my bank card cant he?" she let out a warm smile as she winked as JJ froze slightly

"Ma, Elizabeth?" "She smiled knowing full well what she was about to be asked "I sent him and the others shopping for me" with that she turned leaving JJ alone.

JJ came out of the room a few moments later asking as soon as she saw Elizabeth "Any news?" the concern showing in her voice "Not yet"

"Are you sure this is the correct place Garcia, the last thing we need is the wrath of that woman coming down on us" Hotch said as he doubled checked the price tag on one of the items.

"You are aware of how much Emily likes to shop aren't you, I mean she drags me and JJ around the shops at least twice a month and this my sweets is the only place you are going to find this perfume"

"But it is over 200dollars a bottle" Morgan somewhat gasped as he too saw the price tag "And the only one Emily will wear" Garcia pointed out as she smiled at the now familiar shop assistant "Are you after the usual?" she asked as she looked around for the other two women who normally came with her.

"Yes please, but can you gift wrap it" Garcia requested as the assistant picked up the bottle wrapping it in expensive paper. Hotch shook his head slightly as he passed the card over to her. "Thank you" after paying and leaving the shop he muttered, "Glad Haley never wanted this stuff" he somewhat joked.

"Right what's next on the list?" Garcia asked as Hotch looked down at the paper and becoming slightly embarrassed "Well?"

"Lingerie" he said in a whisper. Garcia laughed slightly "I know just the place" "Do you even know what size she is" Reid enquired.

"Yes I do and also the perfect shop to get some suitable sleepwear from as well" she replied chirpily as she looked at the four embarrassed men in front of her "I'll go in alone if you would rather wait outside" the three of them nodded aside from Morgan "I'll come with you" he smirked.

Over an hour had pasted and still no sign that Emily was coming out of surgery JJ walked over to the nurses' station where Kelly was filling in paperwork.

"Kelly" she said softly "Is there any word?" Kelly half smiled at her "The doctor will explain once they bring Emily back they should be here soon" JJ nodded as she walked back over to the seats. The two women were silent in their own thoughts.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Date and time: 23 December 2006 2.35pm**

They sat there in silence as Elizabeth spoke, "tell me about yourself please Jennifer, anytime I ask Emily she just tells me you're a very private person" she said softly to which JJ nodded "I am a very private person" JJ smiled "Please? You don't need to tell me everything just what you are comfortable with" she smiled as JJ finally agreed to tell her about herself.

"I grew up in a very small town near Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I use to collect butterflies as a child, I was captain of the high school varsity soccer team my senior year with earned me an athletic scholarship to the University of Pittsburgh. I also attended Georgetown." She paused for a moment before continuing.

"I decided to join the FBI after I attended a book reading by BAU founder and Unit Chief at the time Agent David Rossi. I was not sure what I wanted to do until I listened to his reading, which was, held in the campus bookstore during my senior year in college. The next fall, I applied to the FBI Academy."

"And are you happy with your job?" She asked softly "Dealing with these people every day must be hard"

JJ smiled softly "My job involves mostly doing paperwork and seeing what cases need us most, talking to the media and the local authorities and comforting the victims' families. And I do enjoy it" she replied honestly.

A weary looking doctor stood at the side of the nurses' station, handing Kelly a file which she looked over as her eyes saddened somewhat.

The doctor approached the two now silent lady's "Jennifer, May I have a word" He asked softly JJ looked at the woman at her side as she stood.

"This is Emily's Mother," JJ said as to clearly state she had every reason to hear what was said, He gave the lady a small smile "Mind if we step inside" his body leaning towards the privacy of Emily's room.

As the three of them entered the room, he closed the door gently behind them. "I have managed to stitch her injuries again. However, when we did the x-ray I noticed that one of her broken ribs had moved causing it to puncture her lung. I have inserted a tube, which is attached to a suction device that will slowly remove the air over the course of several hours or days depending so you will have to be very careful. Also we are now giving Emily a round of antibiotic therapy to prevent infection due to the tubing" he nodded at the two ladies, wishing he could give them some good news for once. "I will have her brought up shortly" With that, he turned and left the room.

JJ sat on the edge of her bed as she waited for Emily to return "Jennifer I have to leave tonight as my new posting has come up, but please tell her how you feel" Elizabeth said softly, "And don't become as stubborn as my daughter or you will never get there"

The rest of the team arrived with a few more bags than they thought they should have JJ chuckled as she saw Garcia. "You didn't drag them in every shop did you?" she asked as Garcia held up the bags.

"These are mine I got Morgan to try them on" "Hey, you did not such thing" Morgan half argued back "Did you manage to get everything I asked for Aaron?" Elizabeth asked, as he handed over her card and the few bags, which were hers.

"Thank you" The items were perfectly wrapped in gold paper and red ribbons wrapped around them, as she looked through the bag she found the item she wanted, pulling the Christmas card out Elizabeth wrote a message and sealed the envelope after placing the gift card inside.

"Jennifer" hearing her name which stopped the antics between the three younger agents "Yes?" "There is a card in the bag for you" she smiled at Garcia "which I feel is very fitting if not perfect, also I had them get you some gifts to give her on Christmas day" JJ blinked in shock as Elizabeth spoke.

"Can you tell Emily I had to leave please my plane leaves shortly" JJ nodded "Yes Ma'am" was all that fell from her lips as the woman walked out the room.

"Okay, what the hell just happened? And where is the real Ambassador?" Morgan piped up, which caused everyone to chuckle "Must be something in the water" Rossi commented.

The silence fell among them, as two people wheeled a somewhat groggy Emily into the room. The team said there wishes as Emily somewhat responded to them her words slightly slurred, JJ ushered them out of the room, just as Reid asked about the tube that had appeared.

Once in the corridor JJ explained what had happened to them and also asked them to all go home and rest and be with their families "If I need you I will ring okay!" she assured them, "We will be back tomorrow" Morgan and Garcia said at the same time making JJ smile "Thank you"

The team retreated leaving JJ alone, with Hotch his hawk like eyes watching her carefully as he spoke "JJ I don't say this often and it is also not my place to, but you two both need to talk and be honest with each other."

JJ looked puzzled for a moment before nodding "I know" "you can't run away all the time JJ" He said as he placed his hand on her shoulder "You know where I am if you need anything, we will see you tomorrow"

JJ walked back into the room closing the door behind her as she sighed softly, Emily had watched her come in and through her somewhat groggy haze tried to smile as the words partly slurred from her lips "hold me?"

JJ smiled at her softly before walking over to her "Are you sure?" she asked somewhat aware of the wires and her bruises, Emily nodded as the blonde gently settled down at her side wrapping her arm gently across her waist.

"Did you mean it?" Emily mumbled into JJ's neck "Mean what sweetie?" "That you love me?" Emily asked as she felt her eyes closing, JJ gently kissed her forehead as she whispered into her ear "More than you know"


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Date and time: 24 December 2006 6.34am**

Emily woke up slowly, pulling and clawing herself out of a nightmare of darkness and agony, only to feel herself pinned by a weight across her waist and something on her shoulder.

She almost panicked, but something held back the flood of terror that threatened to drown her, "Mm..."

She frowned at the whisper of sound right next to her ear, which seemed to have come from the weight on her shoulder. Blinking slowly, she turned her head slightly "Mmm..."

Again, that soft murmur derailed her thought process, taking the worst of the edge off her fear, keeping it at bay while still allowing her to focus on the noise. Finally, she looked above her, finding the unmistakable monitors and wires that always meant hospital.

Now that she looked, she could see the IV in her arm and the bags that fed into the tubes, and from there into the needle embedded in her vein. This again indicated hospital. "Emily..."

The sound of her own name got her to turn back to JJ, but the woman was apparently still asleep. "Hmm..."

She felt her whole body tensed slightly at the strange whooshing sound that emanated from her side, but she was once again distracted as JJ stirred, lifting her head up and blinking tiredly.

"Hey" She said sleepily as she looked into deep chocolate eyes "You talk in your sleep" Emily voice sounding slightly raspy,

Suddenly JJ gasped as she tried to recall the dream she had, had blushing slightly "Oh, I, What did I say?" she asked Emily, who had a bemused look on her face.

JJ moved slightly as she tried to lift herself up from the bed as she started to feel embarrassed "Don't" Emily muttered "Don't go" JJ looked down into concerned eyes and smiled slightly "My bladder needs me to move" JJ chuckled as she slowly get off the bed. "Oh" Emily blushed slightly.

JJ appeared a few moments later looking a little more refreshed, Emily studied her for a few moments before she found the words she wanted to say. "JJ, did you I mean, well," Emily fumbled with her words.

As JJ walked back over kiss placed a gentle kiss on Emily's forehead "I meant it" JJ said as widened eyes looked at her. "I didn't dream it then?" she half smiled "No you didn't Em."

"How long?" JJ blushed slightly as she started to answer "Your first day" JJ turned away slightly as her face reddened "Ditto" Emily replied as she smiled softly at the woman in front of her.

Both women were pulled from their thoughts as a gentle knock disturbed then "Good morning JJ," Kelly smiled softly before noticing a very awake Emily "Good morning Emily nice to see you awake. I just need to check your charts and I will come back in a little while to clean your dressings," she said softly

"Did you sleep okay?" Kelly asked as she wrote on the chart "Mostly, yes" JJ frown slightly at Emily's answer but dis-missed it until they were alone. "Are you in any pain?" She asked, Emily nodded slightly, "I'll ask for your morphine to increased" Kelly left the room after finishing filling in the chart.

"Emily, did something happen last night?" Emily shook her head slightly "Em?" Emily's expression changed and her already pale skin turned bone white. "Emily? Emily, what's wrong?"

"You know exactly what happened, don't you?" the brunette asked, sounding more than a little faint all of a sudden. JJ frowned, wondering what she meant, and turned pale herself, realizing what Emily was talking about.

She did not know about him recording it. She tried to think of something to say, something to take away the devastation ripping across her friend's face, but in the end she realized that, horrible as it was, she'd be better off telling her the truth.

"He had recorded everything," JJ explained hating the words, which worsened the horror on her companion's face, "He apparently recorded... everything."

"You mean his training? Don't you?" Emily broke in, her voice devoid of emotion, "and you saw it. You all saw it?" "Uh... Garcia did not. She couldn't watch it"

Dark brown eyes closed, and JJ was afraid she either had passed out or had retreated into her mind. "Emily" she said gently, for several impossibly long seconds she was frozen, terrified; that this had been the last straw Emily's fragile psyche could take.

When those eyes opened again, she breathed, realizing only then that she had been holding her breath. The dark brown depths were glassy and unfocused, but they did seem to be alert and aware.

Shaking away her fear and shame she looked deeply into kind and understanding blue eyes "Thank you" she said softly "for being honest, with me" JJ smiled sadly and spoke softly "I could never lie to you Emily"

Silence had fell between them both as Emily pulled away in shame and JJ was mentally kicking herself, for telling Emily about the video, Kelly walked back in the room pushing a cart which had a bowl of warm water fresh dressings and a soft towel underneath.

JJ looked down slightly as she spoke "You want me to leave Emily?" her voice distant and unsure "No" Emily spoke firmly as she looked at the woman she loved and needed, "Stay, please" Emily asked their eyes finally meeting after the awkward silence that had fallen over them, JJ nodded and moved to sit closer to her friend.

"Who will be staying with you once you are discharged" Kelly asked as she looked at the two ladies, distracting them as she gently lifted the blanket exposing her dressings on her chest.

"I mean, if that's" JJ stumbled over her words, as Emily kindly cut in "I was hoping you would allow me to go home with JJ?" she asked. As the blush took over her skin "That's if she will have me"

"What girl could refuse that offer" Kelly grinned as she spoke causing both women to turn a deeper shade of red.

Gently Kelly removed the dressings, which cover her mutilated chest as she cleaned around the stitches; Emily again turned her head in shame as JJ caressed her cheek.

"JJ I need to show you how to clean and change the dressings," Kelly said softly getting the blondes attention. Kelly explained what she was doing and how to clean around the stitches on her chest.

Emily for her part kept her eyes closed as the shamed washed over her as she felt her lower covers being removed exposing her most private areas. "Shh. It's okay," JJ said softly trying to calm a now sobbing Emily.

As Kelly slowly removed the dressings that covered her, JJ closed her eyes at the sight she saw torn matted flesh and dark black stitches holding her delicate skin together. Taking a deep breath in as she watched Kelly clean where the blood had dried before placing fresh dressings over her mutilated core.

JJ turned back to Emily only to see her eyes still closed and hot tears falling slowly to her cheeks. JJ reached to pull a tissue from the box near Emily's bed and dabbed gently at the quietly sobbing woman's eyes.

The action got Emily's attention and she opened her eyes to find JJ hovering concernedly over her. "Shh, sweetheart," JJ said, smiling softly. "Don't cry. I'm here."


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Date and time: 24 December 2006 9.03am**

The sobs slowly subsided keeping her face buried in JJ's neck she mumbled "Jennifer?" JJ smiled softly at her as she said her name "Yes?" something changed between them in the past few hours, the shame still emanated through Emily like a knife.

Her thoughts took over as her eyes dulled making a somewhat worried JJ even more worried "Emily?" no reply, she tried again "Emily!" still no answer, she pressed a slight kiss on her forehead.

"Emily Prentiss you will look at me and tell me" JJ said in a very firm and professional voice and it worked as she got a weak reply that made JJ flinch slightly "You should go"

"Wh..What?" JJ stuttered, soft fingers caressed her sore cheek, "Emily look at me please" she conveyed all the emotions she was holding in through in her voice, sad eyes met hurt ones.

As Emily realized what she had said and how it sounded she shook her head slightly "Its Christmas eve and you should" she stopped as JJ smiled softly "I am right where I need to be"

She bent slightly down her eyes locking with Emily's as soft gentle lips met hers, she kissed her softly, as tears fell from brown ones as her jaw ached slightly as her stomach turned.

"Finally" came a voice somewhat chirpy voice, making both women jump slightly "Garcia!" JJ scowled somewhat angry "It's rude not to knock" as Emily groaned slightly as she blushed deeply, trying to hide her face.

"It's taken you how long?" Garcia said ignoring the fiery blonde and the blushing brunette. Emily spoke softly as her voice allowed "Garcia, if you have taken any pictures I want a copy!" Emily blurted out making them all chuckle "How about the video instead?"

Emily froze slightly as she closed her eyes, she didn't know which was worse the fact that her friends had seen her mutilated and bruised body or the fact that he had recorded, "Emily?" she said softly as she cupped her cheek gently.

Garcia gasped slightly as the words stumbled from her lips "What! She knows?" JJ nodded as her focus for totally on her friends shaking form "Emily, it's okay" JJ reassured her as Garcia spoke "Emily, I am so sorry, I didn't mean" Emily smiled weakly at the her "it's okay Pen"

Emily knew Garcia did not have an unkind bone in her body as she shook the thoughts that had clouded her mind. She looked at her two friends softly "Garcia! Stop hovering in the doorway."

Slowly she walked in fully closing the door behind her "JJ I am starving" Emily said; as they all heard her stomach growl. The sudden change in Emily made JJ turn slightly worried "I'll see if they can get you something to eat" she smiled as she went to head out of the room leaving Garcia alone with her.

"Emily?" she nodded softly "Have you actually told her how you feel?" she half chuckled "Not in so many words" "Well I for one am routing for you" Emily shook her head slightly as she formed the words "I need you to do something for me, before JJ gets back"

"Are you sure?" Garcia asked as JJ returned. Emily smiled at her bubbly friend and let out a small laugh "Yes!" was all she replied as a now bouncy and happy Garcia walked out the room.

"My god hunk of chocolate gorgeousness I need you to come with me" she said grabbing Morgan as he walked up the corridor "baby girl?" was all he was able to say as he was dragged back down the corridor and into the parking lot.

JJ walked back over to the bed "Hold me? Please?" Emily said as JJ climbed gently on to the bed, wrapping her arm gently around her. "Is everything okay?" she asked slightly worried "No, I need to tell you something" Emily said somewhat shyly

JJ nodded as she held her friend close "Jennifer" there it was again her full name, no one used her full name ever "Yes?" say replied as she listen to the way her name sounded again.

Emily sighed softly as she tried to find the right words to say, "I love you, I mean, I am in love with you" she stuttered out as she tried to hide her face more into the nook of JJ's neck, "there hasn't been a day I don't think about you" she carried on trying to explain something. JJ waited knowing there was more to come.

"When I, went to the bar Friday. I wanted to be alone I needed to work things through" JJ felt a tear fall onto her chest as Emily continued "I flirted with him JJ, Its."

JJ cut her off "No Emily it is not your fault, don't you dare blame yourself for what that bastard did to you" placing her lips against Emily's head, Emily closed her eyes as she listened to her

"When I woke up in that room, and after he" she faltered slightly "All I could think of was you, I held on to your smile and your laughter a..nd, you saved me" she ran her finger so gently down Emily's back as she felt the tears fall on to her "Your beautiful" she whispered.

JJ smiled softly "Can I ask you something Em?" Emily nodded as she listened to the steady beating of JJ's heart "When you" JJ frowned slightly as she carried on ghosting letters along Emily's back making Emily chuckle against her skin "What?" she asked distracting her thoughts. "Do you know what you're drawing on my back?"

Emily asked; as she tried to get closer to her friends form, she shook her head as she frowned more "What?" "If you're trying to ask me out you could at least wait till I'm not confined to a bed" Emily teased "Oh" she blushed deeply against her friend.

Kelly disturbed them from their thoughts as she brought in a tray of food. JJ moved slowly trying to get off the bed as Kelly raised her hand slightly "I managed to get you both something to eat" She smiled softly ignoring the blushing blonde.

Emily frowned as she saw; the Jell-O and what appeared to be mush on the tray that she placed on her table, which she moved across her stomach. "Let me lower your bed and sit you up slightly" Kelly said as she took hold of the bed controls.

Emily winced slightly as the tube in her side nipped her skin slightly and her bruised body adjusted "What's that?" she asked somewhat sceptical of the food that that was placed in front of her.

Kelly laughed slightly "its processed food that will be gentle on your stomach as your body has not had much solids in the past few days." Emily groaned "it looks gross" causing JJ to laugh "Emily, be nice or you may end up wearing it" she joked.

Emily rolled her eyes slightly "There any coffee?" she asked hoping they would allow her to have some, "Just try and keep this down first, then we will see about fluids and maybe removing your IV" Kelly said kindly as she looked at the now slightly scowling woman.

Emily I just want to have a word with Kelly I won't be long, with that they both walked out of her room closing the door behind her, "How long until you remove the tube?" JJ asked "Doctor Grant is hoping it can come out this afternoon" JJ nodded, "Will she be able to be discharged soon?"

JJ knew Emily hated hospitals it was something the whole team hated, and she knew once Emily was able to leave the bed she would want to go home. "In the next couple of days" Kelly smiled "Once she is able to get herself out of bed, and her catheter has been removed, and she has managed to pass water she should be able to be discharged" "Thank you" JJ smiled as she walked back into the room.

"Emily you're meant to be eating?" JJ informed her as she entered the room. "It looks like baby food" Emily grumbled slightly. also not wanting to admit the fact she had been struggling to lift her weaken arms to be able to lift the spoon, which is normal after receiving electric shocks, JJ knew what the problem was, but also she knew Emily needed some control over her body and she would ask if she wanted the help.

Emily tried again gripped the spoon slightly, and dropping it against the table "Damn it" she cursed in frustration, before looking up at her smirking friend "You really are stubborn aren't you?" she said as she lifted the spoon off the table

"No, I just want to be able to lift a damn spoon to my mouth" Emily replied in a frustrated voice. "Your muscles suffered and have weakened due to the electric shocks you received" JJ said softly as she lifted some food to her mouth

"Doctor Grant said you would or many lose some sensation, control and you may be not be able to feel if something is too hot for a while till your body fully recovers" she said honestly. "Oh" Emily said as she passively opened her mouth allowing JJ to feed her.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

**Location: Outside Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Date and time: 24 December 2006 9.28am**

"Explain it to me again" Morgan said as Garcia dragged him to the car "how did you manage to get Emily's bank card again?" she frowned slightly as she looked straight at him.

"What you think I cannot be trusted enough with someone else's money?" Garcia glared at a very worried Morgan "I didn't mean it like that" He argued. "Just remember I can wipe out that you have ever"

Morgan cut her off just before she finished "Okay..." he said holding up his hands "at least tell me where you are dragging me too?" "We are going shopping my gum-drop"

Garcia drove them both down what; could only be, described as the most disgusting area in town "Are you sure you know where you're going?" He asked as he looked around at the shabby looking shops.

"You dare doubt me?" she raised her eyebrow at him as he quietened down "Wise choice" she winked pulling up outside a small building that didn't look like it could sell anything nice or that people ever visited.

"This my sweet sexy beast, sells the most mouth-watering chocolate a girl could dream off" she said softly as she switched the engine off. "You sure about that, it looks like it belongs to the little shop of horrors" Morgan joked as he stepped out the car.

They walked into the dimly lit shop as the assistant greeted the "Miss Garcia" He smiled brightly "It has been along" he stopped abruptly as he spotted Morgan "Where is Miss Prentiss and Jareau?"

Garcia smiled softly "She was in an accident" she replied, "I am after some of them delicious truffles that she normally buys" he smiled softly as he walked to the back of the store retrieving a small brown box.

"Is it possible you can gift wrap it" she asked kindly" "of course, will you wish Miss Prentiss a speedy recovery from me" Garcia smiled and nodded as she handed over the card "Of course"

"I cannot believe that cost $20," Morgan mumbled as the left the shop "Ah you have never tasted one of these though" Garcia grinned, "They are better than sex" this caused Morgan to chock slightly.

"Garcia I doubt that" she laughed slightly as they got back into the car. "So where to next" he enquired, "Jewellery shop to pick up a necklace" Morgan frowned slightly "Okay, how do you know which she wants and who is it for?" Morgan asked somewhat confused

Garcia explained what Emily's Mother had done for her as she pulled up near a very expensive jewellery shop "You're sure this is the place"

"Only the best for our Emily" Garcia replied "And of course JJ" she smirked "You mean? They finally?" Garcia laughed as she pulled out her camera "I caught it all" she grinned as she showed him what she had walked in on earlier

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Date and time: 24 December 2006 12.08pm**

"Reid I am just going for a shower can you two please behave while I'm not around" JJ smirked just as Emily declared checkmate.

JJ stared at the board, then up at her grinning friend, then turned to Reid, who; was fixed on the black and white pieces.

"How did you..." he sputtered, shaking his head. JJ shook her head, trying not to laugh, "Behave or I will ground you both" with that, JJ retreated in to the bathroom leaving Emily and Reid chuckling "I demand a rematch!" Reid declared suddenly, "you must have cheated!"

"She beat you AGAIN, Reid. How does a normal mortal beat the super genius at chess, anyway? You are losing your touch?" Morgan said as he and Garcia walked into the room

"Hey Morgan, you want a game?" The dark agent looked from the board to the dark brown eyes, and then shook his head, holding up his hands in surrender. "Hey, if you can beat boy wonder here, I don't have a chance. I'd rather be spared that."

"Afraid your fragile male ego couldn't take it?" Garcia teased, and he straightened to his full height, pointing a meaningful finger at her.

"You listen here, little lady. My male ego is quite secure, thank you very much. I just prefer not to go into something knowing I'll lose." "Smart man," Emily retorted.

The brunette turned and grinned at Garcia "Did you get it all" she asked looking more like her normal self, the dark shadows lingering in her eyes and tension had seemed to have taken up permanent residence in her muscles.

And judging from Morgan's understanding gaze when she glanced his way, they weren't fooled either, but no of them would say anything. "Yes" handing over the bags for Emily to inspect.

Emily grinned brightly as she looked at the items in the bags "Thank you" she smiled at Garcia making Morgan shake his head "What?" Emily frowned looking at Morgan "expensive chocolates" he muttered as the two women started to laugh around him. "Oh they are better than sex" Emily chuckled

"It's my turn to pick a game. I want to play poker," Emily declared as JJ appeared from the bathroom. She spotted the confused boys and the now blushing women "Did I miss something?" she asked, as Emily shook her head, "No you didn't miss anything" "Reid?" JJ looked at him knowing out of there group he was the only one that could not hide anything.

"That can't be possible" he muttered as he looked at a very confused JJ, and the death glares he was receiving from the rest of his team "I never lose at chess" everyone let out a sigh of relief as Reid spoke.

Emily and the team laughed as Reid spoke as he then piped up knowing that JJ would join in with the card game they were all going to be playing "JJ cheats at cards!" Reid declared.

"JJ does not cheat" Emily said, as she glared dangerously at the young genius "Emily" JJ warned noticing the look that Emily had on her face, she had seen it many times when Emily had spoken to unsubs and when her Mother had annoyed her.

Emily shook herself slightly before looking at him schooling and softening her gaze "Sorry Reid", she said softly

JJ sat next to Emily, which they all notice Emily try to get closer as they gathered around to play cards, after a few games and Reid complaining that she and Emily were cheating.

Emily closed her eyes slightly as they all quieten down talking among themselves "Jennifer" she murmured. Garcia overheard what she had mumbled and started to usher the boys out the door smiling at JJ

"We will call tomorrow" she said as they all headed out the room, leaving the two women alone as Emily moved closer to JJ causing her to blush slightly as she nodded at Garcia, before turning her attention to a very sleepy brunette


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Date and time: 24 December 2006 3.27pm**

JJ ran her fingers down Emily's side as she whimpered slightly in her sleep; she started whispers softly in her ear trying to calm her slightly.

Doctor Grant knocked gently as he walked into the room he placed his fingers to his lips as he checked the tube before smiling "Can you wake her please" He asked, JJ nodded and slowly started to wake a very reluctant women up "Emily sweetheart wake up the doctor needs to speak to you"

"Mmm" Was all she heard "Emily" she tried again as the women mumbled trying to pull the blonde closer. The doctor laughed slightly before speaking in a loud voice "If she doesn't have this out today then she won't be able to be discharged in the next couple of days" they both smirked.

JJ slightly chuckled as a half awakened Emily grumbled "WHAT!" her eyes snapping to the dark-haired man standing at the foot of the bed.

"That's one way to wake you up" He smiled at his patient "I just need to check the dressings on your chest and remove the tubing which I will have to use a local anaesthetic." Emily still looked at him; as though he had three heads as the sleepy fog lifted and she was able to speak "I can go home?"

JJ laughed, "That is the only part you heard?" as she rolled her eyes slightly. "Well, kind of, and what tube?" she asked somewhat confused, "remember I told you before about,"

JJ shook her head slightly, the doctor walked over to the other side of her, she flinched slightly as he touched the blanket "Sorry" she said softly as she looked at him.

He smiled knowing why. "Oh, my wife does that, cold hands" he smiled as Emily relaxes as he joked. He slowly removed the blanket and yet again Emily averted her eyes away from her mutilated body, she was not able to look.

"You will feel a light scratch" He informed her as he injected the anaesthetic into her side. As he waited for the area to go numb he carefully started to remove the dressings as he spoke.

Emily was frozen, it was one thing Kelly doing this, another that JJ had seen her ruined breast and now a man was she shuddered lightly as her nails dug into JJ's arm. "Doctor can you just" he saw the fear that con, taught on Emily's face.

Even though her eyes, were closed "Em, Look at me" she said softly as shameful eyes looked at her, "Would you rather I" Emily nodded before JJ had chance to finish she looked at the doctor who could see what was exchanging between the two women.

"May I see to the dressings" Her voice firm and sure "I need to check the stitches but you can" He smiled as he took a small step back allowing the smaller woman to take his place.

Emily closed her eyes as she felt soft fingers against her skin, the dressings being so gently removed, the doctor checked the stitches under her watchful eyes "They are healing well" He smiled as he touched the area he had injected to which he got no response, JJ applied the fresh dressings, covering her more private areas.

"You may feel a strange pulling sensation but it is nothing to worry about" As he explained this to Emily he managed to remove the tubing without either of them noticing, "Just a couple of stitches and you're all done" He smiled he placed the blanket back over her body and her eyes finally met his.

"How long, till I can go home?" Emily asked, she just wanted out of this place and to not have people coming and going all the time. "You will be in for two more days, then your free to go" he smiled softly as he removed his gloves disposing of them and the tube in the medical waste bin. "Oh, okay, thank you" she muttered.

"Emily what's wrong" JJ asked as the doctor left the room "I just want to go home and not deal with people around me all day" JJ flinched at her words "Oh, I'll, I'm" Emily shook her head "Jennifer, I didn't mean you" she smiled at her friend." Also I like waking up in your arms"

"So, when they finally let you out, are we staying at yours or mine" JJ smiled as she asked the question she had been working on all day, "oh, I hadn't thought of that" Emily admitted she knew she needed someone to stay with her for a while until she was able to manage to wash herself and dress herself. However, the thought of where or who never crossed her mind.

She debated it over in her mind for a while. JJ watched her seeing the internal debate she was having with herself "I think we should stay at yours more room" JJ said softly as she got back onto the bed.

This time Emily did not ask as JJ automatically wrapped her arm around her waist as she moved closer "Jennifer?" Emily said, JJ smiled "Yes?" "Will, I mean, if I was to" she blushed deeply before continuing, "ask you out, would you?" she finally asked.

JJ pulled her closer as she gently kissed her forehead "Yes" was all she could reply with as she gently peppered light kisses down towards her lips.

Emily moaned softly as their lips touched together "if this is a dream I never want to wake up," she said as she looked in bright blue eyes. "Me either"

Hotch cleared his throat as he walked into the room "Sorry lady's" he smirked as JJ nearly fell off the bed "Hotch! I we were just" JJ stuttered as though she had been caught making out by her mother.

Hotch ignored the stuttering blonde as he walked over towards Emily "I hear your getting out of here in a couple of days" He smiled, "yes they said a couple of days" Emily half groaned.

"Well if you write me a list, I can go and get you some food in, since it is Christmas day tomorrow," Hotch said as he looked; at the still deeply blushing blonde. "Are you going to JJ's or to yours?" He asked

"Mine" Emily answered, "my keys are" Emily paused slightly "Sir?" Hotch chuckled slightly "What you do in your personal lives is nothing to do with me unless it effects the way the team function's, you have mine" "And mine" Rossi interrupted "Support" Hotch finished

Emily nodded "Thank You, JJ can, you?" Emily paused "Hotch I don't know where my" "We found them at his" Rossi said and Hotch nodded "Oh" once again Emily couldn't look either of them in the eyes "Emily" Hotch said in a firm voice, still she looked away "Emily Prentiss" she shuddered slightly as she looked into his steady gaze.

"You have no reason to feel or be ashamed," he said firmly "And you do not need to feel embarrassed around myself or the team." he continued "Do I make myself clear?"

Emily looked into his eyes and she read his body "I…Yes" "It will take time but not one of us will treat you any different" he smiled as JJ handed him the shopping list of the food Emily was allowed.

Emily sighed slightly as the two men left the room "How much of it did they see?" she asked softly "All of it and" JJ paused slightly as she looked softly into deep brown eyes "so did I" Emily nodded slightly.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Date and time: 24 December 2006 11.27pm**

Emily jerked awake, startled out a somewhat sound sleep, but she was not sure why or how. She looked around, getting her bearings and trying to locate JJ. The blonde was curled up against her side, whimpering faintly.

She sighed inwardly, realizing that the sound must have been what woke her "Shh, Jennifer," she whispered softly, stroking her arm, which lay across her waist, "I've got you." The blonde nuzzled against her neck, falling into a deeper, more peaceful sleep.

"Emily," she murmured sleepily, apparently slipping into more pleasant dreams, "they won't stop. Make them stop. They're making me dizzy."

"Yes, sweetheart," she replied quietly, trying to keep from laughing, "I'll make them stop." "Okay"

Emily laid there just watching JJ sleep as she thought about the past few days and everything, which had happened to her and between them, and what she had gotten JJ for Christmas, she smiled as she remembered the first time she shared one of the truffles with JJ and Garcia.

They were having a blow out after a rough case. They had all piled into Emily's that night after one too many beers at their local bar. "These are the most beautiful things I have every tasted" Emily said as Garcia and JJ looked at her as though she had totally lost her mind.

"Emily, nothing is that good" "they are better than sex" she retorted as JJ choked on her laughter, "Then you have been doing it wrong" she said "Agent Jareau, until you have put one of these on your tongue, well" she blushed deeply as her thoughts got rather rude.

She handed JJ and Garcia one each as they both raised an eyebrow at her "Surely they aren't that good" Garcia said as they both placed the truffles into their mouths letting out a small moan when the strawberry and chocolate exploded inside their mouths "Oh..My..God" Garcia said as she moaned, "That shouldn't be legal" JJ said as she closed her eyes letting out a soft moan again. Emily chuckled at the memory.

"What do I do with you" she murmured, "Let me sleep a little longer" a sleepy voice replied "Oh, sorry, did I wake you?" Emily asked as JJ woke up and gently moving into a more comfortable position.

"No, but you think too much" JJ moved closer to Emily as she helped the older woman rest her good arm over her, so Emily could place her head on her chest since she always seemed more comfortable that way as both women drifted back to sleep.

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Date and time: Christmas Day 2006 7.27am**

"Mm..." Emily murmured, coming out of a very deep sleep to find her-self-pressing into warmth, warmth that somehow snaked around to her front. The source of that heat mumbled in return, she; was torn between blushing and grinning and settled for doing both.

"Jennifer," she called softly, laughing to herself when she grumbled sleepily and held on to her more tightly. She whispered again. "Jennifer, it's time to wake up."

Again, all she got for her troubles were a soft, sleepy grumble and a leg tossed over hers, which clearly intended to keep her from moving, Emily stretched under the arm holding her, prompting the hand attached to it to take a more solid, possessive hold on the flesh it gripped. Despite herself, she gasped, drawing JJ into the waking world since words alone had not.

"Emily?" JJ said her voice groggy and confused, "What's wrong? Are you okay?" "I'm fine," she assured her quickly, although some part of her argued that 'fine' wasn't exactly the word for what she was, "You with me now?"

"Mm-hmm," She agreed sleepily, less interested in wakefulness now that she'd established Emily wasn't hurt or in distress, "Why are you awake, Emily? It's too early in the morning!"

"Jennifer, sweetheart, I'd love to stay in bed with you as long as you'd like," she replied carefully, all too aware of how true that was, "but I'm afraid if you keep doing what you're doing, there's no way we're seeing or speaking to anyone else today. And you also may get kicked out of the hospital" "Huh?"

She brushed her hand against where Jennifer's was tracing under her nightshirt, blushing hotly as the calloused fingertips reached the base of her breast again and started working their way up and around it. She had woken to find; a very possessive Jennifer Jareau had claimed her breast.

"Oh... God... Emily..." the blonde stuttered when she finally realized what her hand was doing to the older woman, who by that time had lost much of her will to argue the point.

The realization had come at the tail end of a soft moan, and the profiler could feel the heat of a dark blush burning her neck where her friends face was buried.

"I don't want to ask you to stop," she managed to murmur honestly, despite what most of her really wanted to say or do, "I would kind of prefer you didn't... But" Emily sighed softly "Dressings, stitches and pain killer's maybe a good thing right now!"

Emily shivered as the hand in her shirt abruptly stopped and started to withdraw, and then hesitated, still touching the bare skin of her abdomen. "Emily, I..."

"It's all right," she broke in, quick to reassure her , she understood what had happened, "You can't control what your unconscious self does, Jennifer... and I can't exactly say I didn't like where that was going." Her thoughts trailed of somewhat.

"Emily let me check your dressings" she replied rather concerned, she nodded, as JJ reluctantly slid off the bed to check for any damage she may have caused breathing in relief she smiling at the somewhat embarrassed brunette.

"No damage" she grinned as Emily blurted out "Happy Christmas" JJ's eyes went wide "It's.." she paused slightly as she meet chocolate loving eyes "A very, very happy Christmas" she grinned, placing a soft kiss on her lips she whispered softly "hopefully many more to come"


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Date and time: Christmas Day 2006 7.39am**

JJ had finally stopped worrying that she had done damage to said area which she had at some point in the night claimed, she was just about to apologise again.

Emily cut in "Do I need to sedate you Jennifer?" in her most professional voice she could manage which in fact came out as though she had been smoking 60 woodbines a day.

"Emily? When did I start to become Jennifer to you?" She finally managed to ask, it wasn't as though she didn't mine it, for some reason, the way Emily said her name made her shiver inside.

"I just..Well.." Emily paused for a while and looked rather perplexed at the smaller blonde as she just wasn't sure why or how let alone remember calling her Jennifer, ducking her head slightly she sighed softly "I'm sorry" she mumbled not meeting her eyes.

JJ smiled "No need for sorry and I really don't mind, you just only seem to do it when we are alone" she said honestly, making Emily back tracked to when in fact she started calling her Jennifer.

For the life of her, she just could not pinpoint or remember when it started. "You don't?" she asked pulling herself out of her thoughts

JJ smirked slightly as she moved over were the bags were place with the presents not even replying to her question. JJ frowned as she pulled them out the bag, which Elizabeth had bought there on the gift cards bold as day was her name "To Emily love Jennifer" She frown not recognising the writing "when did" she stopped mid-sentence as a voice disturbed from her confused thoughts.

"Jennifer what's wrong" she asked, shaking her head slightly "remind me to write a big thank you letter to your Mother" she blushed slightly as she took hold of the bed controls so Emily could sit up.

Emily frowned slightly "what did my Mother do?" she enquired, JJ smiled softly "Oh she just" she paused as she placed the bag on her bed, she handed her the card that her Mother had wrote.

Emily struggled to open it, though she refused to ask for help, JJ chuckled slightly as she watched "you're so stubborn" Emily grumbled "no I'd just like my fingers to be useful" she laughed as the words fell from her lips, as JJ turned bright red. "Yes!" Emily grinned as she finally managed to open the card

"**To my dearest Emily, I hope you have a lovely Christmas and you recover soon, I hope I didn't offend Jennifer.**

**If yourself and Jennifer haven't by now sorted yourselves out I will disown you for letting a lovely lady such as her slip away, I am so proud of you I know I don't tell you often enough, and remember Emily, you can let someone in without your world falling apart,**

**Love, Mother x"**

Emily eyes watered as she read the card the words her Mother had said. "Emily?" a somewhat concerned JJ said as she watched the play of emotions cast over her face, shaking her head softly she smiled "Sometimes my Mother" she held the card out for her to read.

"Oh, I" JJ chuckles "She has a good point" "am not you the one who normally runs when someone gets too close Jennifer?" Emily raised her eyebrow as to challenge the other woman.

"No I am just picky" she retorted. "Is that what people are calling it these days?" Emily joked. "And maybe you will pull all them walls down for me one day" JJ said softly "Right I have presents for you" She said changing the conversation quickly.

She gently placed four items on to the table, which she pulled over the bed, blushing slightly as Emily read one of the gift tags "Jennifer! When did you" "I didn't" she smiled "Thank your Mother" she chuckled.

Emily took her time opening each one gasping as she held up a set for matching underwear "Did, who, when?" she stuttered out "Hotch, Garcia and your Mother sent them" JJ chuckled as Emily turned red at the thought of Hotch picking these out for her "Oh!"

"I think Pen got them" she smiled as Emily started to open the next one, grinning widely as she opened it to reveal her favourite perfume "Jennifer" she whispered. "Thank you" JJ smiled back softly "Your welcome" Emily frowned slightly as she read the card that was attached to the next gift "Em?" shaking the thoughts from her mind; she read it allowed "For when your thoughts get too much" no name written on it, she opened it slightly wary before smiling as a leather-bound dairy appeared.

JJ asked to look at the note and chuckled when she saw the handwriting "Rossi" she murmured, "Jennifer, can you pass me the bag that is under my bed?" Emily asked as she ran her fingers down the smooth leather book.

JJ retrieved the bag that; had been hidden under what looked to be a thick coat. "This bag?" she asked holding it up "That would be the bag."

She handed over the bag "Emily you haven't opened the card" JJ smiled "Oh, I didn't see it" this caused JJ to laugh, "You mean you didn't seen a big pink envelope sticking out under the boxes" she joked.

Emily blushed as she started to open the card, grinning as she read it "To my special friend" which had Emily giggling "Garcia" she laughed out knowing that only their brightly coloured friend would pick out a big me to you card that had "To my special friend" on the front and inside "Because I love you, signed Jennifer"

JJ had the good sense to blush deeply as she read the words aloud, "Thank you" she smiled, "can you…" she paused as JJ saw what she was trying to do "Would it be easier just to sit the bag on the table" she teased helping her place it so it wouldn't fall.

Emily rolled her eyes slightly as she carefully pulled out one of the presents for JJ she grinned as she watched her open it, "Truffles" she half moaned "Mmm, better than sex" Emily chuckled slightly "Didn't you once tell me I was doing it wrong when I said that" she teased the blonde.

"That was before I placed it on my tongue and was blown away with the taste" she said as she moaned slightly at the thought of the truffles running down her throat. "Morgan doesn't believe us" Emily joked "He's a man, her would never understand the just heavenly flavour; these induce on someone senses" placing the truffles down she opened the next present.

JJ looked at the small box and shook it slightly "Careful might break" Emily chuckled as JJ was acting like a big child. She carefully removed the wrapping which revealed a small box she gently opened it letting out a small gasp, as she ran her finger gently over the sliver necklace "It's beautiful" she smiled as she looked at Emily with unshed tears "It's too much" she whispered "Nothing is too much for you" she said honestly.

Once they had both opened their gifts JJ laid back down on the bed half curling herself into Emily "You okay?" she asked as JJ just nodded into her neck "perfect" she mumbled


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Date and time: Christmas Day 2006 10.39am**

"Jay" she stopped mid-sentence and looked at the peaceful sleeping blonde that was wrapped somewhat around Emily's form, Emily looked up to where the noise had come from as she shook her head "How long she been asleep?" Garcia whispered.

"About an hour" keeping their voices low as to not disturb the sleeping blonde Emily tried to smile, which failed "How you doing, really Emily?" she asked looking straight into her eyes.

"I don't know," she murmured. Slightly tensing and gripping the blonde at her side, which made the sleeping blonde stir slightly.

"Mmm Emily" Garcia chuckled softly "She talking in her sleep again "She has been doing it a lot" Emily said somewhat sadly "Emily what is it?" She tried again as Emily's walls went back up.

The only person Emily had opened up to was Morgan, he was her partner and always had her sixth "I'm fine" she said weakly "That's bull" came the gruff voice making both women look at who had spoken.

She tensed slightly at his words, which he noticed as he smiled knowing she would talk to him in time "Merry Christmas" he beamed at the two women, and a now grumpy blonde who had been disturbed "Can you all just shut up" came the sleepy voice that belonged to a rather grumpy JJ

"Jen…JJ" Emily stumbled over her words "be nice" causing the two others in the room to giggle, "she never was great in the morning," Garcia said in a chirpy voice.

JJ lifted her head up scowling at her friend "and can we also, not do this today" she mumbled as she had heard half of what she had asked as she glared at Garcia "Sorry" she mouthed.

Morgan felt the tension that had somehow formed in the room as he spoke "I have gifts" he smirked as Emily rolled her eyes speaking softly "shouldn't you all be" she paused slightly. "With your" again she stopped "family!"

Making a now familiar voice speak a little too loud "I thought that was what we were" Rossi said as he walked into the room.

She smiled as softly as she could, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable under the watch full eyes of her friends "Guys can we just" JJ cut in as she started to get up off the bed. Brown eyes watched her move as JJ got the bed controls moving the bed up so Emily could sit up "thanks, JJ"

Just as a very bouncy child ran into the room making everyone jump and Emily wince slightly "Happy Christmas" he shouted into the room followed by a very harassed Hotch "Jack, keep your voice down, please" he said softly.

He eyed Emily up for a moment before he walked over to the bed "Daddy said your poorly" he said a little sadly; for all the will in the world Emily smiled warmly at Jack "I'll be better soon" she said as he tried to climb onto the bed.

"Jack be careful, Emily is very sore" as he looked apologetic at her "So I made you a card to help you feel better" Jack beamed as he held out the card which was of Daddy.

Emily couldn't make out what else he had drawn "Thank you" she smiled as JJ placed the card on the table next to the others "Can I have chocolate now?" he asked a very bemused looking Emily.

Hotch walked over to his son and Emily, as he spoke softly "Merry Christmas" picking Jack up off the bed "I can't stay long" he admitted as he placed the gift on the table "I picked it" Jack grinned happily.

Emily looked at JJ as she tried but her fingers failed to open it, looking back no words were said; as JJ helped unwrap the gift, which was a lovely snowball of the capital. "thank you" she smiled at Jack "We best go" Hotch said as Jack reached down to hug Emily, which made her wince as he caught her chest.

"You okay?" JJ whispered knowing that Jack had in fact caught the stitches causing her a lot of pain as she forced a smile onto her face "Just fine" Garcia handed Emily the card; which with JJ's help she opened, and made everyone laugh when music came out of said card "trust you Pen" JJ said as she giggled slightly.

Morgan handed her his present as a very wary Emily eyed it up before looking at him "It won't bite" he smirked "You have said that to me before" Emily muttered as she remembered when he had given her a present which she managed to get her finger caught in causing her to curse at him.

"Wasn't my fault you poked it before you opened it" he retorted which cause two confused women to look at them both "You're the one who took it out the box put batteries in it" "Morgan what the hell did you buy her?" Garcia said.

JJ's mind went very deep into the gutter at the comments said "just _Electric Shock_ Memory _Game" he smirked "which hurt like hell when I poked it" she grumbled._

_"Well at least it was only your finger" he joked which made her and JJ tense, "Shit, Emily I didn't" she shook her head "it's okay" she was getting sick of people walking on eggshells with her even though she knew she hadn't and wouldn't deal with it yet._

_She unwrapped it somewhat gingerly and half her fingers didn't want to co-operate with her "Wow!" she gasped as a seemly trashy romance novel was in front of her, he smirked "see I do listen to you" he mocked, "and there I was thinking you just agreed with me to shut me up" Emily grinned. "These two shared more than I thought" JJ thought to herself as she looked between them both. "And you can repay me later" he winked._

"JJ comes for a walk with me?" Garcia asked after watching Morgan; look seriously at Emily, "I am sure these two can be trusted to be alone together" JJ nodded before looking at Emily "You'll be okay?" she asked.

Emily chuckled slightly "We have been left alone before and for long periods" Morgan said at a now blushing blonde, "Go on" Emily smiled as the two women walked out the room leaving her alone with Morgan.

"So Prentiss how are you really?" he asked in a very serious tone "Short or long version?" she asked, she trusted Morgan with her life her secrets her worry's and mainly everything and she trusted him to not let her get hurt. "Either works for me" he said as he sat in the chair next to her.

Emily sighed as she tried to put words to her thoughts "Did, do you" she sighed loudly "No, I don't," he said; "I could never look at you any different you're like a sister to me" he smiled.

"Why can't you let her see you Em?" he asked the concern on his face "That's the problem she has seen me"

"No that's not what I asked and you know it" she frowned slightly "You don't let her see you, the scars are going to be there, and that won't change, but Emily your heart hasn't, don't push her away to protect yourself or to protect each other it's just wrong"

"I just, it's that" she stumbled over her words again as the fear showed on her face, "Emily she won't judge you and you of all people should know that" he smiled "Now tell me details" he grinned.

Emily stared at him "we've kissed and that's it, I Morgan this is new to me and you know how I feel about her, I just hope it's not pity" she finally admitted, he rolled his eyes "for a profiler you can be really thick at times Prentiss," he mocked her.

"have you never noticed how she looks at you" he raised his eyebrow before carrying on "Em if those eyes could undress you. you'd be naked in the bullpen everyday" she blushed as he grinned at the thought of her naked. "Morgan" she warned, "don't go there" "Sorry!" he ducked his head slightly. "Can you blame me?" he chuckled, she shook, her head slightly. "Boys!" she mocked.

Just as JJ and Garcia returned, JJ looked between them both seeing the worried look on Emily's face before the walls came back up.

"What have you said to her" JJ demanded as she glared at him dangerously "He hasn't done anything" Emily said a little stronger than she had been "I just want to go home" she pouted, tomorrow just could not come fast enough.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Date and time: Christmas Day 2006 4.27pm**

"Em, what were you and Morgan talking about?" JJ finally asked her as everyone had now left them alone "Oh, nothing" she muttered "Okay" her voice somewhat hurt "Not here JJ" was all Emily could say, she really didn't want to have this conversation which may result in her being left alone in a hospital.

"Jen...JJ?" she muttered "Yes?" "Help me get up? Please?" she asked a somewhat reluctant blonde "are you sure you should be" she faltered realising that Emily would know if she was able to stand on her own two feet. "Rather try while we are alone," she admitted

"Can I at least check with Kelly, that it's okay for you to get up?" she asked looking slightly concerned at her now very guarded friend, the walls had come back up and Emily had now retreated somewhat into her mind

Emily's expression was still soft but the walls were back up as she started to flinch slightly when JJ touched her, she saw the hurt look in her eyes, but she just couldn't help it. What Morgan had asked her, had her doubting herself and questioning how she could care so much.

Everything had changed so much and so fast; she had gone back to being 'JJ' and not 'Jennifer' and for some reason it hurt like a knife in her heart. Just what had happened in that hour? She asked herself as she walked out of the room.

JJ sighed slightly as she walked out to the nurses' station to speak to Kelly, who agreed to come into the room and help Emily try to stand. "Don't try and push yourself too fast" she warned, they were still unsure just how much her balance and strength had been effect.

Kelly helped her swing her legs over the side of the bed, Emily gasped slightly as her legs touched and the stitches rubbed against each other at the top of her thighs "Son of a" she stopped as more walls slammed down inside her. JJ went to help her up which was swiftly rebuffed by a now very closed off and guarded Emily.

"Sorry" she mumbled as she back off from away from her, as her heart broke a little more, as the words fell from her lips.

"I'll wait outside" she whispered as she gathered herself and retreated to the corridor not giving Emily or Kelly chance to say anything.

Emily kicked herself mentally as she started to push everyone away and push JJ further away from her; she just did not want to be hurt or pitied by anyone and especial from JJ.

The words played in her mind '**Why can't you let her see you'** played repeatedly as she struggled to find her feet, on what were now very shaky legs, which nearly gave way underneath her

"You can wait if you want and try later" Kelly said she knew something had changed and Emily seemed to be fighting herself and everyone that was near her as Emily replied in not such a nice tone "I can do it" she hissed out.

Today of all days the terror of everything that had happened hit her like a ten ton brick. And she couldn't do anything to stop it, there were no compartments she could hide it away in.

There was only anger and fear as she tried to keep her balance before her legs gave out, luckily, she was still next to the bed, which caught her as she fell. Kelly smiled sadly at the woman who had seemed to be doing so well, and no had retreated away from the world.

"Just what the hell did you say to her Morgan?" JJ said with a very venomous fire in her voice "Nothing" he defended himself.

"You must have, she can't even look at me, so much so I am stood in a corridor while someone else helps her get out of bed" she shouted into the phone just as the build-up of tears she had been holding back exploded into a somewhat shocked Morgan's ears "JJ I didn't, I don't know"

Morgan scratched his head as he motioned to a now very curious Garcia as he placed the phone to her ears and listen to a very teary and by the sounds of it heartbroken JJ. She grabbed the keys and dragged Morgan out the door as he tried his best to calm her down.

JJ found herself outside the hospital, making her way to the bench she sat down in the cold, just trying to work out what has happened. 'Maybe she doesn't want me' she thought to herself as she sobbed. Garcia saw her friend as they pulled up "Morgan give me your coat" there JJ was sat outside with nothing more than a t-shirt on.

She shivered into herself as the voice startled her "You trying to catch your death woman?" Garcia asks as she wrapped a thick coat around her "JJ!" she said softly; as JJ gave no response "Jayj?" she tried again.

"I blew it Pen" she sighed slightly her eyes bloodshot from crying "I should never have told her" she lean into her best friend as she wrapped her arms tight around her.

"Shh JJ, we will get to the bottom of this" she said softly "Pen, how did you" "Morgan" she cut in, shaking her head as she looked up to just find her and Garcia alone

"Where is he?" she asked, "Where do you think, he is the only one that can get through that thick skull of hers!" Garcia said as JJ looked at her in shock.

"No! Garcia! He just, no" she shook her head "Me and you are going to grab some food and then we will go see her and JJ she opens up to him more than any of us knew" she said honestly.

Morgan leant against the door frame as he studied a very closed off Emily who seemed to be lost in her own world, clearing his throat as he walked in "Are you a total idiot Prentiss?"

Which earned him daggers which he brushed off "You really want to push her so far away that you lose yourself?"

Morgan knew her he could read her better than most but that was what a partner had to do, they had to know each other inside out and these two did, as she scowled at him "Leave it" she said curtly

"So you want me to leave you to brood in your own misery?" he asked before adding, "Just clarify that for me?" He was pushing her buttons trying to get her to break and he knew how to do it all too well.

"You want to shut everyone out because you might get hurt, so instead, you wrap yourself, so tightly into yourself, I am surprised you can breathe," he said a little coldly

"Morgan I am warning you," she said somewhere between hurt and angry "You can't keep running and if you want to run you will be alone, maybe you like being alone, and brooding, which isn't a good look" his face had no emotion, very unreadable for Emily to even know why he was pushing her.

She turned her head away from him, as she closed her eyes. "Seriously Emily, do you not see what you are doing to yourself?" this got her attention somewhat. "I am not doing anything" her voice very detached from her "Are you not seeing what you are doing to JJ?" he said a little softer

"I am doing nothing to her" she half shouted "No you're not, you are just playing with her emotions and ripping her heart out, why don't you just kick her instead, it would be far less painful" Morgan half growled

"You are not the only person suffering here, I know what has happened to you is awful and if I could change it I would, but I can't, but I won't sit back and watch you hit the damn self-destruct button, that you seem so hell bent on pressing"

She sighed internally "Morgan, Just" "No! Emily! You have to let someone in sometimes and right now her heart is breaking and I cannot watch you do this, to yourself to JJ and let alone to each other" the worry evident in his voice "You love her, what's the problem" he asked

"You asked me why I can't let her see me" her voice full of unshed tears "She has seen me" Morgan furrowed his brow slightly "Then what is it?"

"I can't even….I haven't" her words came out as a stuttering sob as she tried to explain. "You really think she is going to look at you different?" he frowned slightly "Prentiss, that girl doesn't know how to look at you any other way, other than undress you with her eyes" the tears fell as he spoke "I look horrible" she blurted out.

Morgan rolled his eyes "Don't get on the self-pity train, or I will find a nice 2x4 and smack you with it" he joked slightly. Emily half smiled at his attempted at a joke.

"She'd kill you, if you did that" she admitted "Emily if you keep pushing her away, you will wake up one day and she will be gone" he said firmly as Emily just realised how she had been with her "Oh, God! What have I done Morgan" she looked at him as the tears rolled down her face.

"Em you've hurt her" He admitted "And only you can fix it" he smiled weakly at her "talk to her," he whispered softly as he heard two very familiar voices coming down the corridor.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

**Thank you for the reviews and the inboxes guys, love hate or you want to see something happen let me know and I'll try to work it in if I can**

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Date and time: Christmas Day 2006 8.27pm**

Emily looked at Morgan slightly wide eyed as she heard the very noticeable voice of Garcia and JJ "what do I say?" she murmured to him "That you're an idiot, would be a good place to start" he mocked her.

Just as JJ and Garcia walked through the door, Unsure brown eyes met hurt blues eyes, it broke her heart she had caused this, she had hurt her and for the life of her, she did not know how to fix it or even start.

"Well!" Garcia said as she looked at Morgan, who smiled softly taking her arm and leading back out of the room before she could say anything else.

"Derek Morgan!" she choked has he got out of earshot of the room "they need to talk, not have you yell at her" he said in a soft voice. "You think they'll make it" he half smiled "She's got a long way to go baby girl, she's hurting a lot" was all he said as they left the hospital.

"Jay.." she stopped slightly unsure as what to say "When did I stop being Jennifer" the hurt in her voice hitting Emily like a knife, she sighed as she tried to meet her eyes but failing "I'm sorry" she mumbled "I.." JJ looked sadly at her for a moment.

"Do you want me to go?" she asked trying to keep herself together as Emily started to say something "Morgan asked why I don't let you see me" she looked down and then away.

She could look at her it hurt too much, "That's the problem you have seen me" "Why is that a problem Emily?" JJ asked a little confused "There is... Part I keep hidden" she sighed as she struggled to keep herself together.

"If I open them up if I let that part of me go and you see it" she turned and looked into sad blue eyes "It's the part I hate about me, I hate that you care, I hate that I need you to care, I hate the fact that I can't bare my own skin." JJ frowned slightly; as Emily rambled.

"I'm dirty" she finally let out in a heart-wrenching sob. JJ stared for a moment as the words finally registered with her "Emily" she moved closer as the brunette broke, her face and persona that everyone saw was gone, her feelings and emotions that she kept so tightly wound in, were naked in front of a very concerned JJ "Emily" she tried again.

Her eyes were empty as she sobbed uncontrollably, her fingers dug into her skin as she tried to wrap very sore arms around herself "J….Jennifer" she said in a rush "Look at me sweetie " she said softly, she still hurt but she was understanding, what and why Emily had pushed.

She couldn't look she didn't deserve to she mocked herself, herself pity party, herself hatred, was showing and she was raw, she was broken, scared and more than anything she was dirty in her eyes "How can you" she shook her head trying to clear her mind but finding no release, no escape away from what was coming.

"Emily, please look at me" her voice conveyed every emotion every fear as she spoke, deep blank eyes looked at her as though she was standing on the edge of the abyss and couldn't find her way.

It was as if any moment, any touch she was shatter and that scared her, she had never seen Emily so hurt so distant, no expression or light in her eyes. She slowly made her way over to her watching her as she did; she carefully touched her so softly on her arm it was like a feather running against her skin.

Emily; was trapped in her mind, in her thoughts, in the darkness; she just did not know how to come out of it. She looked at the fingers that were so softly touching her it made her flinch slightly "Shh" she whispered as she moved closer "come back to me Em" JJ said softly as she gently cupped her uninjured cheek.

"I'm not running" she said softly "I'm right here" she murmured as she wrapped her arm around a very broken Emily "I've got you" she said as she ran her fingers though her hair pulling Emily closer to her.

As she pulled Emily closer, finally resting a very distant Emily on her chest it came out a though a tidal wave had erupted around them.

She broke her heart as she clung on as though her life depended on it, crying uncontrollably and even JJ knew there was nothing she could do to comfort her, only hold her so she did not fall more.

"You're okay Emily, You're okay," she whispered as she held her tight and as close to her as she could.

She had never seen Emily so vulnerable as she was right now, no walls, no compartments for her to hide away from the world, she was vacant, empty, But JJ only saw this as strength as trust, Emily had taken her walls down whether she meant to or not.

JJ carried on holding her tight rocking her back and forth in comfort as she played with her hair lovingly "Come back to me Em" she whispered "I'm not going anywhere" she promised.

Slowly the sobs slowed into more of a hiccup as she tried to stop herself from being too open. "Sorry" she as the sobs slowed, she instinctively went to pull away but one word made her stop "don't" JJ said softly as she held onto her tighter*

She tried to clear her mind, her thoughts but she was numb and full of shame "forgive me" she whispered so softly JJ only just managed to hear it "Shh" as she rocked them both slowly waiting for Emily to come fully back to her and not this shell of herself that she had become.

JJ knew she'd have dark days when the memories became too much, she just wasn't ready for it when it happened, it had been such a great day, and now Emily was holding onto her as though her life soul depended on her holding her, grounding her, as though she alone were stopping the nightmare taking her fully.

"J..en…nifer" she stuttered out between the heaving of her chest as the sobs died down "I've got you" Emily sighed softly as she tried to keep from falling again, "you got a little lost in there" she said softly as Emily nodded against her, though the walls never came back up, which JJ was grateful for.

"talk to me" JJ asked softly "tell me" Emily knew what she was asking and she shivered slightly against her "Shh" she whispered feeling her shivers "when you're ready, okay" Emily nodded still not ready to move, for right now she felt grounded and safe and the memories where at bay.

Gently JJ managed to get Emily to lay down even though she never fully let go of her; as she climbed onto the bed pulling Emily close to her.

"Just rest Em" she said softly as she ran her fingers through Emily's hair "Close your eyes" she whispered "I'll be here when you wake" she promised as Emily relaxed into her touches and body drifting off to sleep, JJ closed her eyes as she too let the slumber claim her.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Date and time: 26 2006 5.47am**

JJ woke feeling more tired than she had this whole last week she was drained, both physically and emotionally, and part of her knew it was not going to get any better anytime soon, but she was there.

She was in it for the long haul, but getting a very scared and emotional Emily to see this, she shook the thoughts from her mind. Hoping that when the brunette woke the walls that she hid behind would still be down for her and that maybe she would let her in and help her.

Today only two things could happen; as far as JJ was concerned and they were either, she would be; let in or shut out. And she really hoped for the latter.

Carefully she climbed off the bed and quietly walked into the bathroom, turning the taps on, as she waited for the water to warm she looked in the mirror, she studied herself. Sighing softly **'this is going to be hard'** she muttered to herself

As she stripped off and stepped into the lovely warm shower, letting the water run over her as though it was cleaning and healing wounds no one could see, a moan escaped her lips as her muscles relaxed under the spray.

She started to think back to what Elizabeth had said **'don't hurt her'** she could never hurt Emily. She shook her head slightly as the blank look that had fallen in Emily's eyes came into her mind.

As though she could see her right now, she had seen that look before, hell her in her job she saw it every day,

She had even seen it in herself once. She shook her head as her mind turned back to when Emily had found her in that barn and when she walked into the bathroom, she could have shot her that day.

All she could hear were them dogs and I could have sworn I saw one in that mirror were the snarling dogs, but when she turned round it was Emily.

No judgement was in her face no questions; were ever, asked and she could understand how she could just accept that I could have shot her because I could not see passed them dogs.

Her mind went back to Emily's Mother again, as the water ran over her face, how could I hurt her, how could anyone hurt her? There was something behind the comment something she could not pick out but the way she said it made her think Emily had been hurt badly in the past.

Slowly she turned the taps off before stepping out of the shower, slowly drying herself before finally getting ready, **'At least she was going home today'** she mumbled to herself.

Wrapping the towel around the base of her neck so her top did not get wet, she opened the door and stepped back into the room, where she could hear silent mumbles coming from.

Slowly she walked over to the bed, gently moving the hair that had fallen over Emily's face behind her ear as Emily continued to mumble.

Caught between; a dream and where she really was Emily's mind thought its-self as she struggled to work out what she was truly afraid of.

**'she's seen me'** she mumbled **'seen mutilated parts'** she frowned at the thought of her body; and what it had become **'she's touched me'** a soft sigh slipped from her lips **'wish they were real touches'** she mumbled **'I just can't look at me'** it came out in a sigh, as she felt something rock her shoulder slightly

"Shh Em, it's okay, wake up" JJ said as she could partly work out what Emily had been mumbling about and she knew if she didn't wake her now Emily would keep trying to punish herself, even in her dreams. "Emily it's time to wake up" she whispered into her ear "you can go home today" she carried on trying to wake her.

Waking Emily Prentiss up was never an easy task, you could light a car bomb off and she would sleep through it.

JJ had learnt this early on and she learnt that Emily could wake up and think the person who was waking her was an unsub, which Morgan had explained once when Emily had given him a black eye.

"Em….Wake up" she said slightly louder as another mumble slipped from her lips **'I'm scared'** "Emily" she said more firm, **'baby'** JJ frowned slightly, yes here Emily was mumbling to herself in her sleep **'how do I'** "Open your eyes Em" JJ tried again as she rocked her a little firmer.

"Mmm" she murmured as she finally started to wake though not fully "Emily I have coffee" She tried again "Mmm" was all the response she got. She rolled her eyes slightly "Emily!" "Mmm…hey" JJ shook her head slightly "Finally you are waking up there Prentiss!" JJ scoffed slightly, as dull brown eyes slowly opened, "You say something about coffee?"

JJ giggled slightly "Oh, you heard that part" she rolled her eyes as Emily became more awake, there was a blankness still in her, her walls weren't up and right now she weren't sure if that was a good thing or bad thing "Oh. Sorry" Emily said shyly as the sleepy haze was lifting from her eyes.

JJ half smiled at her, their eyes not fully meeting as Emily started to stretch slightly, "I'm sorry Jennifer" deep sad eyes look straight at her.

It was like JJ was able to see her soul the deepness in her eyes the pain, her walls hadn't gone back up, JJ smiled softly, yes she was still hurt and confused slightly, but she also knew that once they were out of this hospital they would talk and hopefully Emily would open up and let her in.

There was a knock on the door as both woman turned to see who it was Kelly walked into the room "Good morning" she smiled carrying the tray in "I brought you both some breakfast and coffee" she said softly as she placed the tray on the table.

"Thank you" Emily said softly never meeting her gaze, she was to raw and to open, and yet she didn't want to shut herself off.

She had tried that last night and because of it she had hurt JJ, so she kept her eyes downcast for that reason, she did not want to feel or be seen as weak and broken.

JJ smiled softly at Kelly "Thank you, Is she going to be allowed home today?" JJ got straight to the point. "Hopefully by this afternoon" she replied

"Thank you" she smiled, "Right well I will let you lady's eat and I will be back soon to check your dressings and to remove the catheter" she said softly before leaving the room.

She watched Emily for a moment before sitting down near her "Jennifer?" Emily said somewhat unsurely "Yes?" "Can you, would you" she stumbled over the words, JJ stayed still and quiet as she waited for her to work out what she was trying to say.

"Can you help me?" she asked weakly, JJ smiled softly at her as she gently took hold of her hand "Okay", Emily closed her eyes slightly as she turned to look at her, "Please" she said as she opened her eyes and looked straight into JJ's

She broke her heart she could see the turmoil the hurt the fear in them and laid out for her to see, no walls were up, she was open or as open as Emily could be right now, she smiled softly as she picked up the cup and held it to her lips.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

**Okay so I struggled with this one so if it does not seem to flow very well, I am sorry.**

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Date and time: 26 2006 9.22am**

They had both finished their breakfast and JJ had started to pack things away into their bags, nothing was said there was an uneasy silence that had fallen between them both, Emily was too raw and exposed and JJ just waited for her to push her away again.

"Jennifer?" she said softly, JJ looked at her for a moment and nodded slightly "yeah?" "Are you still" she paused and looked down at her hands, she didn't deserve her kindness not after the idiot she had been, but also she was scared to be alone and right now she felt she had no right to ask, she fell silent picking at the invisible lint that seemed to apart on her covers.

JJ stood up and walk slowly over to her "I'm I still?" she pushed, Emily looked at her sadly the walls fully down, JJ felt she could peer right into her soul. They; were both pulled out there thoughts at the sound of a now very familiar woman.

"I just come to change your dressings and run through your care and also I've put a rush on your medication so hopefully you should be out of here by 1pm," Kelly said brightly as she wheeled the trolley over towards the bed.

Emily closed her eyes slightly as she tensed up "Shall I?" JJ started but was cut off straight away "Jennifer, don't go please" her voice held so much emotion in it that even Kelly stopped her movements, JJ smiled softly "Okay" she walked back towards Emily and ran her fingers through her hair, Emily leaned into the touch slightly.

"I just need to lift the blanket" Kelly said as she slowly lifted the covers off her and opening the buttons on her top, Emily shivered slightly as she tried to get closer to JJ "please" she whimpered "Emily?" JJ said so softly and very concerned, Kelly started to gently, remove the dressings, which caused Emily to flinch badly "Emily?" "Please!" the tears laden in her voice.

JJ frowned slightly as Kelly backed away from a shivering Emily, JJ spoke very softly and moved slowly "Em, do you want" JJ never finished as she saw Emily nodding as though her head was on a springboard and nodding of its own-accord.

JJ gave Kelly an apologetic look as she walked around the bed to the trolley "You're okay if I do it" it was a question; but one that didn't really need to be asked.

As JJ gently took over, she flinched slightly as JJ removed the dressings on her chests her eyes closed, as JJ hummed softly as she cleaned around them.

She dried around the stitches and moved slightly; so Kelly could look at them before she re-dressed them, gently she fastened up the buttons before pulling the covers back over. Emily stayed still and quiet through it all.

"JJ I need to remove the catheter and" she paused as they both saw Emily shake. "Emily" JJ said softly giving Kelly a weak smile as she did, "Do you want Kelly to take the catheter out" she paused as she waited for Emily to respond.

She nodded as JJ continued, "She needs to change the dressing and clean" JJ froze as Emily shook her head violently never making a sound as she did.

Kelly watched, **'she had been doing so well up until last night'** she thought to herself "Emily it needs to be checked and clean" she said softly as she run her fingers gently through Emily hair.

"You" JJ frowned slightly "Me?" she said slightly puzzled before Kelly cut in "Emily, if I remove the catheter, will you let JJ clean around your stitches and place a fresh dressing on?" JJ looked at Kelly and then back at JJ who was now nodding in response.

"Okay" she smiled, JJ whispered to Emily as Kelly removed the catheter as gently as she could as Emily let out a small gasp when the tube was removed "All done JJ" Kelly said "Okay Em I'm just going to" she paused as she started to very gently remove the dressings that covered her core.

She gently cleaned the area placing a smaller dressing on than before, which meant Emily, could go to the toilet, "All done sweetie" she said as she covered her back over.

"Thank you" Emily whispered but still she did not open her eyes. "JJ can I have a word please?" Kelly said softly as she started to move the trolley out of the room, JJ nodded.

"Emily, I won't be long okay" Emily slowly opened her eyes turning to look at JJ she nodded before turning her head slightly away again.

JJ followed Kelly out into the corridor "JJ is everything alright?" Kelly asked, "She just had a rough night that's all" JJ said she knew why Emily was so jumpy.

"Are you sure, because if she isn't we need to know, it will" "Kelly I promise she is fine and she will do a lot better once she is home" JJ smiled softly "Is that all?" she asked and Kelly nodded as JJ walked back into the room.

Closing the door softly behind her she walked over toward Emily "Je..nni..fer" she stuttered out softly "Em, look at me" she shook her head slightly "I'm sorry" her voice so broken so raw, JJ wasn't sure what to do she had never seen Emily like this.

She walked over to her running her fingers through her hair "Emily" "Forgive me?" JJ lowered her head and kissed Emily gently on the forehead. "Sweetie we will talk when we get home okay" she said sincerely "We are just waiting on the medication and then we can go I am going to ring Morgan to come so he can give us a ride to yours" JJ said soft but firm

"You sure you want to, I mean" JJ smiled sadly "Em I can't say you didn't hurt me, because you did, but I also wouldn't walk away from you, over that" JJ sighed softly as Emily looked at her and shook her head "I don't deserve you" as she looked away

"I think the sooner we are both out of this hospital the better and then if you're up to it we will talk, no rush, no pressure, whenever you are ready, Okay?" Emily nodded "Okay" JJ smiled.

"Just let me ring Morgan" she picked up her phone as Emily gripped her arm gently "Jennifer, before you ring him can" she blushed deeply "Help me dress?"

JJ smiled softly as she placed her phone back down "Of course I can" JJ helped her sit up pulling out a clean baggy top and pants for her to wear. she gently undid her top before removing it, helping her to zip up the top she had found, since anything that could go over Emily's head, was a no go, as it would burst the stitches.

JJ gently cupped her cheek to get her to look at her instead of at the wall behind her "Don't shut me out okay" Emily smiled weakly at her as she spoke "How can you look and not be repulsed?" she asked honestly causing JJ to frown deeply at her

"Emily, you think because of this" she motioned her hands to her chest and lower body "I'd turn away and never look at you again?" she shook her head slightly.

"I'm dirty" there it was; that word again **'dirty'** JJ looked at her for a moment before realising what she meant. And what she had; in fact trying to tell her. "Emily, don't you ever think that, I could never think that about you"

Emily starred at her blankly for a long moment before nodding "But I am" she said weakly. "Shh" she soothed "Not here okay, we will talk when we get you home" JJ assured her. Last thing she wanted was for Emily to completely withdraw into herself and the longer they were here the more likely Emily was going to retreat into herself.

"Em I need you to stand for me" she smiled warmly at her trying to pass as much strength as she could to her as she help Emily sit up fully with her legs over the side and JJ holding the tops of her pants so when she stood all JJ had to do was pull them into place.

Emily placed her hands onto JJ's shoulders as she placed shaky feet onto the ground "thank you" she muttered as JJ helped her to stand, as Emily took her in her arms for this first time since; she had been taken. She smiled feeling Emily as she held her not daring to move as she knew any moment could cause Emily pain.

"Em" she said softly as the brunette nodded against her "Sit down please" Emily looked at her sadly "Shh, it's only because I need to ring Morgan to get us okay" she reassured her.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Date and time: 26 2006 12.22pm**

Emily was silent as Morgan and Garcia seemed to busy themselves around her, JJ looked at her concerned; she had not spoken a word since she had changed her dressings and she had rung Morgan.

To JJ, she saw it as a black cloud had fallen around her, and she knew that she had to get her away from here, somewhere she felt safe, and somewhere she knew, not a hospital bed where people came and poked her, checked her body, which JJ noticed Emily couldn't even look at herself.

When she had helped her change her clothes she had kept her eyes closed, hardly speaking, but she wasn't guarded she wasn't hiding away she was open and raw and this worried her, it was as though she had got lost in her mind and she needed to be helped back.

"I have got you're medication Prentiss" Morgan said softly before turning to the other two woman around him "You two go to the car, we will be there soon" he promised,

JJ hesitated slightly "Are you sure?" Morgan nodded, he knew how to deal with her, or he hoped he did. "We will be right behind you" he promised as the they left the room.

Garcia glared slightly at him, before she noticed the very blank look on Emily's face, she was use to her being alive with fire, not still and quite.

Morgan turned his attentions back to Emily "Hey, you getting lost in your head again?" he asked. Emily just nodded slightly "Come on let's get you in this chair" he held out his hand which she took with a little hesitation.

"Have you two spoke, at all" he said as he helped her into the wheelchair" "No" she said sadly "But you will right?" "I just want to go home Morgan" she pleaded with him "Okay, but try and let her in, you can't do this alone no matter what you think or feel," he said firmly, she squeezed his hand slightly and nodded as he started to wheel her down the corridor.

The drive was quite for Emily' she just stared out the window watching, as the other three of them chatted among themselves, as he pulled up outside the apartment, he looked at her "Let me help you inside"

Emily shook her head and turned to look at JJ her eyes pleading for something, for anything really, she smiled back "Can you two take the bags and I'll help Em in" she said softly as she got out the car and walked over to Emily's side.

Wrapping her arm gently around her waist, as Emily seemed to be holding on for dear life, "Em?" she whispered softly; to which Emily gave a soft smile. "I like it when you do that" she almost husked. "Do what?" she questioned "Call me Em" JJ held her a little tighter; as they slowly walked up and into the apartment complex.

Emily's eyes went wide as they walked into her home, everyone was there, a banner saying welcome home; but it did not feel like home, it never had, it was just somewhere she slept, unless they were on a case.

Her grip got slightly tighter on JJ as she shyly walked in, she faked a smile at her friends, hoping they would not notice, but she knew they would, they were not profilers for no reason, they were good at their job.

"Welcome home" they all smiled at her, as she faked a smile back "Thanks, it's good to be home" JJ felt her tense slightly. As everyone chatted around them, she was tired she was sore and more importantly she just wanted to be alone away from everyone. She needed to think, she needed to clear her mind, so she could **'talk'** to JJ.

'**However, that was not going to happen anytime soon. JJ helped me over to the sofa, I winced as I sit down, she heard it and before I knew it JJ had gone, and then reappeared with water and painkillers.**

**I look at her, to see how she knows, but I know why she knows, it is because she knows me, she sees me, and I for now only see her.'**

"Jennifer"

'**I mumble softly and she seems to know what I want and what I need as she takes the seat next to me wrapping her arm around me as though she is protecting me from everything.**

**Do they all notice when they are looking at me? Do they only see what they saw on that damned TV? Or can they see passed it, because I can't not yet, I lean against the soiled form next to me, as my eyes start to shut, I feel naked in front of these people, my family, I can't meet their eyes and I am sure that they see.**

**I can open up to Morgan, but the rest I hide away from safe in her arms, but yet, I'm still hiding from her, what am I afraid of, what is it she sees? She looks at me and I see no pity, no condemnation.**

**I see understanding and hurt, and I'm the one that put the hurt there, it those now somewhat dull blue eyes, a tear roll down my cheek as I try and hide in her neck, are they staring at me? Alternatively, do they know why I am clinging to her?**

**She seems to pull me closer as though she knows what it is I am thinking, Am I that transparent for her to see, and why is she not running?**

**Her fingers gently run through my hair and I feel her lips on my head, I do not move, I am safe in her arms, but the guys are here and she's not hiding or pulling away?**

**I feel dirty, unclean and ashamed, I should have known better than to try to drown my sorrows alone in a bar! I should have known better than to have a drink with him, I knew he liked me, god why did I flirt back, oh right I know why, she had flirted back and I was not sure if she meant it or was just doing it for fun.**

**Just how can I be me? It feels like I am missing something and I can't see it, can't feel it, she moves slightly and I grumble, she whispers something, but I'm so lost right now the words don't even register with me as she moves away from me, I feel cold and alone and I miss her strong touch, that grounds me.**

**I feel a hand on my knee as I jump at the touch I hear her say'**

"It's only me"

'**I relax again under her touch; my eyes remain closed I'm too scared to look, she touches my cheek and I lean into it so naturally.'**

"Open your eyes Em"

'**I smile I like how she calls me Em, I trust her just like I trust Morgan, but why is it so hard to let her in and see me?**

**She asks me again to open my eyes, but I cannot because everyone will see, that I am broken inside, she whispers again into my ear.'**

"Come back to me Em, I sent them home"

'**It sounded like a plea, and I remain frozen leaning into her touch and she now tells me.'**

"Look at me"

'**Slowly I open my eyes as I speak.'**

"Jennifer?"

'**I ask I need to know my mind is not playing a cruel game on me.'**

"Open your eyes and see for yourself**"**

'**Her voice seems flat as though she's waiting for me.**

**I open my and I see, I see her, I see the fire the love and care all in her eyes.**

**As I shiver and stutter her name'**

"Jen..ni..fer"

'**Is all I can say, as the flood gates finally open as I stammer'**

"Help me"


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

**Location: Emily's Condo**

**Date and time: 26 2006 3.30pm**

JJ smiled warmly at her as the words **'help me'** played over again in her mind as she took her hand in her own "Always sweetie" she said softly, "But first you need to eat okay" she smiled so softly, it made Emily hold on tighter "okay"

Emily's wall never came back up to JJ's amazement. Totally unguarded; and trusting; it made her smile inside and questions herself. She always seemed to know what to say to people, how to help them, it was her job after all, but this was new, not because it was someone asking for help but because it was Emily asking for her help, not Morgan's not her Mother, but hers.

For the first time in a week there was a peaceful silence between them; squeezing Emily's hand softly she rose from her knees placing a soft reassuring kiss on her cheek.

"Em, I'm just going to go and fix us both some food, Hotch went shopping for us" Emily kept hold of her hand as though she daren't let go "Shh, it won't take long I promise" as she slowly removed her hand from Emily's grasp.

She knew even though they needed to talk, Emily needed to eat and not, be pushed; too hard or too fast and the first step; had been made Emily had asked her for help.

She spoke softly but loud enough for Emily to hear her as she walked over to the kitchen. "You know I remember the first day I met you," she smiled softly before she carried on. Even though Emily never answered, but she could see her watching her listening to her voice as she mulled around the kitchen.

"Hotch asked me to go through all the policies and procedures and I will be honest after Elle, I was reluctant, thought you'd be one of these people who was full of themselves, I judged you before I laid my eyes on you," she shook her head slightly.

"There you was standing at my door so shy and nervous, I looked at your goofy smile as you kept pausing as you looked at me as though you was profiling me. And for some reason I never minded, I got so wrapped up in you I haven't even offered you a drink until you said." She paused for a moment as she started to put things into the oven and started again once she it was in.

"And when Garcia walked in, you changed as though, you couldn't relax, but you stole my breath that day Emily, and you stole my heart.

The first day we had that case, they guys seemed to except you easily even though Spencer was a little off handed with you for a while, and yet you carried on, you even tried to help him"

JJ jumped slightly as she was rambling she had not seen or heard Emily walk up behind her, as she wrapped her arms around her waist.

"I'm sorry" she said softly "Emily, don't" "I am, I pushed you, I hurt you, and that isn't right" Emily continued, "I want to let you in so badly it hurts but I'm scared" she sighed softly as she leaned into the blonde.

"I need you Jennifer; I can't lose you" she whispered "Where do you think I'm going to run to Em?" She shook her head "I don't know," she admitted as JJ turned in her arms to face her

"I told you I love you Em, and that hasn't changed" she said softly as she looked into deep brown eyes, she smiled softly, her walls were no longer there, it was as though she had come back to her but her voice wavered slightly still. She was unsure and JJ knew she was.

Emily made a sort of weak but honest joke "I don't know how you can stand so close to me, I must stink."

JJ laughed softly "You are a little ripe" she smirked slightly as the tension lessoned, so it was an easy flow; "Let's eat first" she looked deep into her eyes.

"And if you want, and you feel up to it, I will run you a bath, since Kelly said it will be fine now" JJ watched her as the flicker of doubt crossed her face at the thought of being completely naked as she murmured "Only if you are with me?" It came out as a rush. JJ nodded in response not sure, how Emily really meant it.

Her voice was unsure as she asked "how can you look at me" her eyes were sad and as unsure as her voice, JJ smiled warmly "Your still Emily, you have just been" she paused trying to find the correct words to use.

Emily's eyes went downcast slightly as JJ found the words even though they may not of been the right ones "I see, I've felt it, but I've also seen your heart and I can see passed what your too scared to see" she said honestly

"Does, I mean" Emily stumbled badly over the words she was looking for. "I need to see" JJ searched her face and her eyes she swallowed hard. "Okay" she was so close to her and she did not know how else to express everything her feeling; her doubts her fears the sickness she felt in her stomach so she took a chance.

She leaned in closer to her until their lips brushed and she kissed her so softly full of emotion, full of trust as JJ kissed her back with just the same amount of pure raw emotion, pulling back slowly Emily met her gaze "Thank you"

JJ kept her focus on Emily keeping hold of her in her arms as a tear rolled down her cheek "I love you" Emily whispered but her eyes were sad as JJ cupped her cheek running her finger gently over her lip causing Emily to shiver slightly. "Shh, I know Em" she smiled as she kissed Emily so softly and so gently Emily felt her world spin.

As long as JJ was there to guide her, she could do this. "Let's eat first okay sweetheart," JJ said sweetly as she kept her gaze as Emily nodded.

Placing a soft cushion on the stool JJ helped Emily sit down as she went back to cooking their meal. Once she had plated the food up and set it down taking the seat next to Emily.

Emily gently took her hand in hers "Can you forgive me?" she asked as she interlaced their fingers squeezing gently as JJ smiled looking at her.

"I can forgive you if I knew what I was forgiving you for?" "For hurting you" Emily admitted "Morgan told me a few home truths" she smiled weakly.

"Em, I can forgive you for that, but I also know it may happen again and you won't be able to control it but I will ask one thing of you" Emily nodded watching her "don't shut me out, even if you can't find the words, okay"

"Okay" Emily replied. Emily frowned slightly as she went to pick her fork up "Did Hotch make this?" she asked with a sceptical look. She laughed "Yes, but since Jack is alive and well, his cooking mustn't be that bad" she smirked as they both settled into silence, as they ate.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

**Location: Emily's Condo**

**Date and time: 26 2006 7.24pm**

As JJ finished washing and drying the pots, Emily became more quite, more withdrawn, she walked up behind her wrapping her arms around her neck resting her chin on her shoulder as she whispered into her ear "You don't have to do this Em" she said so softly

Emily shook her head, before she spoke "I need to" JJ smiled, she did not know if this was too soon, or how Emily would cope and deal with what she saw.

"Okay" taking her hand so gently, "Are you going to manage the stairs" she had totally forgotten about her weak muscles as she guided her to the bottom of the stairs. "Two choices haven't I," she said dryly.

"I could always ring Morgan and he can carry you up" Emily looked dangerously at JJ, as she started chuckling "I'll take that as a no," she said as she laughed.

Emily took hold of the banister and slowly made her way up stairs as JJ followed behind her "Em," she said softly once she got upstairs "Where's the bathroom?" Emily chuckled slightly forgetting the blonde had only use the toilet and never even seen her bathroom

"It's in my bedroom" she said softly "Jennifer, I know this may sound, as though, well," yet again she stumbled as she tried to ask, she hated being so vulnerable and weak, she sighed softly.

"I'll go and run the bath for you, Just don't do anything," JJ said firmly, she had never seen this side of Emily and she wasn't sure if she should worry, or not,

Emily sat slightly on the bed suddenly finding her nails more interesting as she started to pick at them, JJ watched her from the bathroom for a moment before walking over to her steadying her hands in her own. "Em, stop, you have nothing to worry about" she said softly as Emily's hand stilled into hers.

Emily looked at her so deeply JJ thought she was trying to find something that was not there. She looked at her for a long moment; before speaking, "is the bath running?" her voice was unsure and she hesitated slightly

"Jennifer, can you help take my, top off" JJ smiled softly "Come with me" she smiled as she stood up pulling Emily to her feet, she lead her into the bathroom so she could keep an eye on the tub filling up.

JJ carefully turned to look and more study the woman who was in front of her, slowly her hands reached for the buttons, keeping her gaze fully on Emily's eyes she unbuttoned the shirt, as Emily's hand flew up gripping her wrist to stop her.

"I...I…can't" her eyes were wide and scared as JJ stopped straight away, she placed her hand on her cheek gently rubbing her cheekbone "It's okay" she said softly

Emily sighed, "can we turn the lights off, please?" JJ nodded, "Em, have you got a candle?" "Drawer next to the sink" she said weakly.

JJ pulled out the candle and lit it, as she turned off the lights she sighed before turning around in the dimly lit room "That better?" as she walked back over to a dishearten brunette.

She nodded, as JJ returned helping her out of her clothes, talking her hand she helped her step into the water and sit down "Comfy?" JJ asked, as Emily closed her eyes turning her head towards the side anything so she did not have to look, or see.

JJ got the cloth from the side, as she poured some shower gel onto it and lathered it up "Do you want to" JJ ask, and she got a shake of the head in response, JJ kept her movement slow and gentle, as Emily's skin was still slightly raw and sore from where he had rubbed her skin nearly bare.

Emily whimpered slightly as JJ ghosted the cloth over the top half of her body, before making her way down her torso, Emily's hand flew down gripping her wrist so tightly.

"Em, Shh, I'll stop" "I can't, I.." she squeezed her eyes closed as she shuddered, "I know and it's okay" JJ reassured her.

"Baby steps, okay, there is not rush alright" she place a gentle kiss on her forehead, as Emily shivered slightly "But Em, your hair really does need washing" she joked as the sobs started to slow into hiccups.

Emily was not one to give control over to anyone, but right now she needed to let someone take the control away from her; and the only person she would allow near her, was JJ.

She started to relax as JJ massaged the shampoo into her hair, as she began to risen it out, "Em," JJ said softly as she could see her totally relaxing and the last thing JJ wanted was her to fall asleep in the bath. "Mmm" "Come on let's get you out, before you catch a chill"

Gripping the towel and placing it over her shoulder she started to help Emily up, as she kept her eyes closed not want to catch a glimpse of her ruined body in the mirror.

She helped Emily out of the bath wrapping the towel around her body "I need to turn the light on okay" Emily just nodded as JJ blew the candle on and flicked the light switch.

Wrapping her arm around her waist, she guided the silent brunette into the bedroom towards the bed.

Once Emily was sat on the bed she walked to the drawer pulling out some grey sweats for her to wear, using the spare towel she slowly started to dry her legs, Emily for her part closed her eyes again as the shame washed over her.

Gently she removed the towel off her as Emily tried to protest "lights" Emily, muttered as she gripped hold of the towel. "Okay" she replied softly.

Once the lights were out and the room was dark aside from the shimmer of light, which emanated under the bathroom door, did Emily finally allow JJ to remove the towel and dry her mutilated body.

"I just need to put some cream the doctor gave me" she said calmly knowing Emily might not allow it, but she sat there so passively as though she was numb; "I'm sorry" she said softly once her top was finally on and the lights had turned on she looked at JJ.

"I just, I'm not ready she finally admitted, "I know" JJ said softly, as she helped a very docile Emily into bed wrapping the covers over her, JJ went to leave, and go to the spare room.

"Jennifer" Emily took her hand not wanting to be alone, JJ looked at her for a moment "stay!" she asked.

JJ nodded slightly before she spoke "Okay but let me go and get changed" she replied softly, Emily nodded letting go of her hand, as JJ walked out the bedroom and into the spare to get dressed.

Running her fingers through her hair as she tried to steady her thoughts and feelings, pinching the bridge of her nose before returning "I can do this" she said softly to herself.

Emily watched her as she entered the bedroom her eyes tracking her movements as the mattress dipped slightly as she got in pulling the covers over her.

"Hold me?" Emily said softly "please" Emily lay on her side as JJ curled into the back of her burying her face into Emily's damp hair placing a protective arm around her waist.

Emily sighed softly never in her life had she needed someone as much as she need JJ right now.

Her anchor, her strength, and her protection, which JJ gave her as she held her in her arms, she thought to herself, she didn't know if this made her weak in JJ's eyes, but she was to ashamed in her own skin to even care.

"Shh," the voice from behind her said as soft fingers ran through her hair as she whispered into her ear so softly "close your eyes and stop thinking" JJ whispered as she pulled the brunette closer to her, hoping they would both sleep peacefully tonight.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

**Location: Emily's Condo**

**Date and time: 27/12 2006 2.01am**

JJ woke with a start; she naturally reached other for Emily thinking she was having a nightmare, but the bed was cold and no Emily.

She groaned inside, as she looked at the clock illuminating she sighs softly "Ugh! 2am" she muttered before hearing it again the noise that had woken her from her sleep.

Her eyes followed the noise not fully registering what she heard as the sleepy haze still covered her eyes.

There it was again that noise she turned over to put the side lamp on to help wake her fully before turning back to make see if Emily was even there.

She froze her eyes focus on the white bed sheet and this time the noise she heard registered as she took in the deep colour of red on the sheets she cursed to herself, "shit!" slowly she got out of bed and followed the distinct noise of running water.

Slowly she walked over to the bathroom door gently knocking as she walked in, she felt her heart sink at the sight in front of her.

"Emily!" she whispered as she rushed over to the shower cubical, "Em" she never looked at her or let on that she knew she was there.

She carefully put her hand under the spray as her heart sunk more, the water was ice cold, and Emily was still in her nightwear.

"Emily" she tried again as she turned off the freezing water, Emily just stared her eyes empty and blank, JJ took hold of Emily's hand.

She winced slightly feeling how cold she was and how her hand was trembling "Emily can you stand up sweetie" JJ said softly as she gripped the other towel off the heater.

Emily passively followed the lead of JJ, "Em, stay with me" JJ pleaded knowing from the distant look in her eyes, that she had retreated into her min. and this scared her more than Emily pushing her away.

Gently she wrapped her in the towel tightly not even trying to take the clothes off her, as she guided her back into the bedroom, sitting her on the chair near the vanity.

JJ sighed softly, she needed help, and she knew she was going to regret doing this but the only person, she knew could help was Hotch, but that had to wait until the morning.

"Emily, I need to get you out of these clothes okay" she said softly as she gently started to unfasten the soaking top off her "Damn it" she cursed under her breath, Emily's skin was pink with the coldness of the water, **'just how long had she been in there'** she thought to herself.

Emily sat there shivering and too docile even for JJ's liking, she flicked the heater on full trying to warm the bedroom up more, last thing they needed was for her to catch a chill.

Gently she started to dry her skin hoping it would warm her up slightly, as her body trembled under her touch, she dried her hair and placed a fresh top on her before trying to get her to stand so she could change her pants.

JJ could see where the blood had come from and it broke her heart, slowly Emily stood as she allowed JJ to dry her most intimate part, she ignored the blood that smeared onto the towel, right now all she was concerned with was getting her dry and warm, it could wait till morning.

She helped Emily into the fresh warm bottoms taking her into her arms as she held her close "I've got you Em" she whispered trying to get some sort of response but nothing came. "Just wait there a second" JJ went to move as ice cold hands took hold of hers.

She looked straight into deep chocolate eyes, searching for any sign that Emily was there with her.

A weak voice spoke so quietly JJ only just heard it "save me" JJ stared at her for a moment, before she realise she was trapped in her nightmare, so fully detached from where she really was, placing her warm hand against Emily's cheek she nodded before speaking.

"You're safe Em" she said firmly, but softly before wrapping her arms around the shivering form before her, Emily was lost in her mind and thoughts and all JJ could do for now was hold her close and pray this cloud would pass.

She had an idea of what had made Emily retreat into her mind, and she hoped if she could just get this woman back into bed and in her arms, she would feel safe again, and not caught in the terror that her mind held.

She guided her back into bed getting a somewhat docile Emily to rest against her and her head in her chest so she could feel her heart beating in a hope it would help soothe the terror in her mind.

JJ fell asleep a short time later, but her hold on Emily never altered keeping her close to her and her arms around her as her fingers played with her hair.

"Mmm" Emily mumbled as a shiver left her body, causing JJ to stir, the sun shining through a gap in the curtain lighting up the room, "Em" she mumbled as she started to stir more "J..ennifer" Emily let out in a soft sigh, JJ kept still as she carried on playing with her hair. "Love you," she whispered so softly, a warm smile spread across her lips.

JJ felt soft lips touch her chest as her stomach fluttered slightly, she kissed her forehead as Emily moved as close as she possibly could, "Jennifer" slowly she opened her eyes "Morning Em" she said softly.

"I'm cold" pulling JJ closer. JJ sighed softly. "Let me make you some coffee and help warm and wake us up" Emily nodded against her as she loosened her grip of the blonde.

Emily winched slightly as she started to get you, her whole body was aching and she was cold down to the bone as she shivered. JJ ran her hand down Emily's back as she got up "And you need your painkillers" JJ smirked as she sat up. "I know I'm sore," Emily admitted.

JJ got up wrapping the dressing gown around her, I'll go and make that coffee and get you your medication" she smiled as she walked out the room and head downstairs into the kitchen.

Emily got up slowly after JJ had left; she carefully pulled her dressing gown around her as she slowly made her way downstairs. Carefully she walked into the kitchen standing there for a moment as she listens to JJ on the phone.

"No, I am serious, she was freezing Hotch, and she is not much warmer this morning, can you please bring us some soup and electric blanket?" there was a slight pause "Thank you, see you shortly," she said softly as she put the phone down.

She walked further into the kitchen before speaking "Jennifer?" making JJ jump slightly "Jeeze Em," she gasped as she turned round, Emily smiled weakly as her "sorry" JJ chuckled "No you're not" she smiled softly.

"What did Hotch want" JJ swallowed slightly "Em, I found you in the shower last night" she looked straight into her eyes keeping her gaze "Do you remember?"

Emily shook her head, "I remember feeling I was" JJ nodded knowing, "The water was freezing" Emily nodded. "Sorry" JJ shook her head "I couldn't reach you Em and I hope you don't, and I just needed to speak to someone." JJ admitted; which made Emily smile softly and for the first time since finding her the smile reached her eyes.

JJ finished pouring the coffees before placing them on the breakfast bar for them both "How do you fancy pancakes for breakfast" JJ smiled.

"Sounds good to me" "Then pancakes it is" "What time is he coming?" Emily asked "About 20 minutes and he's bringing Jack, If you're okay with that" "That's fine" "I promised him pancakes" JJ chuckled as she got everything ready for breakfast "Best not disappoint him then" Emily winked at her.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

**Location: Emily's Condo**

**Date and time: 27/12 2006 9.42am**

They sat there in comfortable silence for a while Emily was lost in her thoughts as she spoke aloud "There is blood on the bed" she said it as though it was an absent thought.

JJ smiled sadly, "I know I'll sort it after breakfast," she said as just a she stood to turn the cooker on pulling the frying pan out. "Sorry" Emily watched her for a moment.

"I feel lost Jennifer," she said softly, "do you think less of me?" the question caused JJ to turn round and stare at Emily for a moment before she walked over and cupped her chin. "I could never think less of you" Emily frowned slightly as she looked into swirling blue eyes full of understanding.

"I need you to do something for me, please" JJ nodded unsure where this might lead to, "can you make me an appointment to see someone." JJ smiled warmly at her as she half chuckled, "I have already asked Hotch to sort something out of us both" "oh!"

JJ smiled softly "Emily you are my best friend, but I'd like for it to be more" dark eyes looked at her as though she was trying to see is there was any hesitation.

Or if JJ was just saying what Emily had dreamed for a long time "I've, you, I mean" Emily blushed deeply as she stumbled over her words causing the blonde to panic slightly,

Emily cupped her chin as she moved in closer, as their lips touched Emily poured all the love and care in to it trying to express her feeling which words couldn't describe or she couldn't say, she pulled back slightly "Wow" JJ said breathlessly "that was amazing" JJ blushed deeply "You're the one who is amazing" Emily said softly.

JJ stood there for a moment before the knock on the door pulled her away "Jennifer" Emily said as JJ retreated towards the door, she turned slightly to look at her "I'd like more as well" she said softly.

JJ blushed slightly as she opened the door to a very hyper Jack and a bemused Hotch. "How is she doing" he asked softly as walked in "She doesn't remember last night" JJ replied sadly. He nodded as they made their way into the kitchen.

"Jack!" Hotch said a little shocked "I asked you to be-careful with Emily. She still is poorly" Emily looked up at him "I told him it was okay," she said softly as Jack sat there with his head down.

Emily wrapped her arms around the small boy that sat in her arms "He's fine Hotch" she smiled warmly as jack turned his head as he study her "You got a booboo" his eyes looking straight at her neck.

Emily nodded softly trying not to think about it as Jack leaned up and kissed it softly "Mommy always gave me a kiss to make it better." She smiled at the innocence in him "thank you."

JJ and Hotch looked at her for a moment "pancakes" Jack said loudly as he bouncy slightly on Emily's knee, causing her to wince slightly.

"Jack come on get down" Hotch said as JJ handed Emily some painkillers, as JJ started making breakfast for them all as Jack watched on.

Hotch shook his head "Prentiss, can I have a word please" "Sure" Emily carefully got off the stool as her ribs were hurting after Jack bouncing on her.

She followed him into the living room as they spoke softly "I have arranged for you to see an outside counsellor, I feel this might be best, but you still have to see the internal one."

Emily shook her head slightly "Thank you" she looked down slightly "Hotch" she bit her lip slightly "you know you can always talk to me, when your physiotherapy starts?"

"I think Jen...JJ said in a couple of weeks after my stitches have come out" Hotch nodded "Good" he smiled softly "And Emily, look after her as well" she nodded and smiled softly "I will".

They both their way back into the kitchen as JJ was plating up their food "Coffee?" Hotch laughed slightly "Please" he smiled as he sat next to his son "JJ, I have managed to get you a couple more weeks off" she nodded "thank you" she said softly as she sat next to Emily.

"So what are your plans today" Hotch said as he raised his eyebrow, which made Emily go very quiet "we haven't got any" "Well it won't do either of you to stay cooped up in here all day" he looked at them "I heard Garcia say something about movies at hers"

Emily looked at JJ "You should go" she smiled softly, the hesitancies betraying in her eyes. "I'll think about it" she raised her eyebrows at Hotch slightly as they all began to eat, Jack placed more maple syrup on to his pancakes "Mmm" he said as he wolfed his food down "Jack slow down you will make yourself sick" Hotch said softly.

After they had finished their food Hotch and Jack said goodbye before leaving "You know where we are if you need any of us, do not hesitate to ring" he smiled as JJ closed the door behind him.

Emily sat on the couch picking her nails as JJ sat beside her taking hold of her hand "You need to stop that" she said firmly looking at her finger; she had picked them that badly parts had started to bleed.

Emily looked into blue eyes as she spoke "You know your amazing" JJ blushed slightly but shook her head "listen to me please" Emily continued.

"You once asked me how I can do the job and not flinch and that I compartmentalize everything" she swallowed hard. "I can't do that this time Jennifer and I don't know what to do or how to get" she paused finding the invisible lint on her pants more interesting.

"I close my eyes and I'm back there," she sighed "it makes me sick to my stomach" tears swelled in her eyes as she spoke.

"The beating" she closed her eyes as she tried to find balance in her mind "I guess I could cope with" she paused again. "But when her took that whip and" she paused again.

JJ gently placed her arm around her rubbing her back gently as she waited for her to go on "That was the worse pain I've ever felt," she sighed "I ashamed, and I don't know if I was ashamed because he violated me or because I was unable to stop it" she rambled slightly as her voice hitched.

"I kept thinking of you and the team, every time he came in or he touched me" as tear started to roll down her cheek, but she was adamant. She was doing this as she pushed herself "He touched me in places and I just couldn't stop it" she pulled away slightly from JJ.

"I don't know if I am pissed at what happened to me or pissed at myself or the fact I was too weak to stop it," Emily wrapped her arms around herself as though she was hugging and holding herself together.

She sighed again as she finally looked into blue understanding eyes as she blurted the words out in a heart wrenching sob "he rape me and there was nothing I could do" JJ wrapped her arms around her tightly.

"I know, but you have to stop blaming yourself Em" JJ rested her cheek against hers "He took part of you, but you can either let it eat away at you. Or you can overcome It." she paused slightly, "it will never go away but it does get easier Em I promise you," she kissed her gently on her cheek as she held her in her arms.

"How do you know it gets easier Jennifer, how can you be so, sure and understanding?" Emily asked between the hiccups and sobs, JJ pulled her close "It doesn't matter how I know that it gets better, you just have to trust me on it," she whispered.

"You can't control what has happened, but you can control how you deal with it" she smiled softly as she thought of an idea "Em, do you trust me?" more seriously than Emily has ever heard her spoke before.

"Yes, with my life" JJ smiled softly, "Then come upstairs with me and let me help you get through the hardest part" Emily frowned slightly as she became confused **'help me?'** she thought to herself as JJ took her by her hand "Okay" she said weakly allowing JJ to guide her.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

**Location: Emily's Condo**

**Date and time: 27/12 2006 11.42am**

JJ lead Emily upstairs feeling slightly nervous and hoping she was right in what she was about to do and wary of the reaction she might get for it, they walked into the bedroom, JJ let go of her hand and walked over to shut the curtains.

"Jennifer" Emily said getting scared and more confused when the room filled dimly as the sun casted a dim shadowy light into the room making it so they could only just make each other out.

"Stop looking so worried" JJ smiled as she took Emily to stand in front of the full-length mirror.

"I can't" Emily said slightly starting to panic, as JJ placed herself in front of the brunette so she was leaning against her. "I know you can't" JJ paused slightly as she held the brunettes eyes in hers.

"When you look at me what do you see?" Emily studied her for a long moment "Intelligent, beautiful woman and your kindness" JJ smiled softly and nodded "I see the same in you" she said calmly as she reached up to the buttons on her top.

"Jennifer?" JJ held her gaze "Would you think less of me or think I was ugly?" Emily frowned slightly as she watch JJ unbutton her top "Never" JJ nodded "What if my body was lace with scars?" she asked

Emily looked at her confused "Scars?" JJ nodded as she lent more into the solid form behind her "Scars" she said softly as she started to open her top. "You want to know why I know it gets better and easier," she asked softly as she started to remove her top.

"Because your Jennifer and you know everything" Emily said still holding her eyes in her own not watching JJ remove her top, JJ chuckled softly as she took Emily's hand in her own keeping her gaze with Emily, she placed her hand on her stomach.

Emily frowned slightly as she felt a bumpy line that seemed to travel the length of her torso "Jennifer?" she smiled softly "Do you feel that?" she asked as she still held her gaze "yes" JJ nodded slightly "Emily run your fingers down my back" she asked softly.

Emily nodded and did as JJ had requested, "What happened?" Emily asked as she felt more bumps and lines marring all over JJ's back. She looked straight into Emily's eyes. "Now what do you see?" JJ asked firmly, Emily frowned slightly "I see you the same as before" JJ chuckled slightly as she nodded.

"You see Em, it doesn't matter what the outside skin looks like, and it is what lies beneath it that matters," she said calmly, Emily frowned as she asked again, "What happened?"

JJ shook her head slightly "It isn't important what happened, it's important that you can see passed them," she whispered as Emily wrapped her arms around her tightly.

JJ moved slightly to turn the light on so Emily could see properly, as she walked back in front of the mirror.

Emily again reached her hands around her pulling her close as her finger ghosted over the scars that lined JJ's stomach, before leaning back and doing the same with her back memorizing every mark every line.

Emily held her gaze again before she spoke "Is that why you always changed in the bathroom, when we would share a room" Emily asked softly as JJ nodded "That and the fact I wanted to jump your bones."

JJ chuckled, "Can you see past these scars?" she asked, "Yes your still beautiful and amazing and" she blushed "Stunning woman who I fell in love with."

JJ smiled, "So do you know why I say yours don't bother me, and also your sexy as hell" she smiled as Emily rested her chin on her shoulder

"It won't all come at once and you will feel dirty for a while but I want you to remember something" Emily nodded "that you will feel clean again and that, you will be able to look at yourself and see past all the scars"

Emily ghosted her fingers over the scars lining her stomach as though she was burning them to memory, JJ watched while Emily's finger ran over and up and down the length of the scars the stretched across her torso and stomach. JJ shivered at the touch leaning more into her.

JJ turned in her so that she was facing Emily, as she buried her face into her neck allowing her to look at the scars marring her back.

Emily's fingers ran the length of her back as JJ shiver against her touch.

"Jennifer" Emily's voice full of concern, JJ kissed her neck softly "I trust you Em" as she lifted her head looking into Emily's eyes seeing the love and kindness there, the same eyes she fell in love with.

"You're beautiful," she said softly as her fingers trailed over her back, JJ smirked "You're not too bad yourself Prentiss."

Emily blushed slightly as she felt JJ's hand tracing her back, leaning in ever so closely, their lips meeting as they kissed slowly JJ tongue running the length of her lower lip asking for permission to have access, which Emily allowed.

Deepening the kiss as her fingers trailed up her sides gently catching the outline of her breasts. JJ moaned slightly into her mouth as the kiss slowly, JJ pulled away gently looking into her eyes. "Wow! Think I just saw fireworks" she chuckled softly.

"See nothing to be scared of Em, took me a long time to be able to look at myself and see past the scars but I got there in the end" Emily studied her face for a moment before smiling softly "thank you" JJ blushed.

"I wanted to share it Emily because I thought it may help you see why and what I see" Emily again looked at her back through the mirror, as she noticed a tattoo which just had two dates 1992-1994.

She frowned slightly as she looked at it "What do the dates mean?" JJ buried her face "year I got them and the year I learnt to see passed them" she whispered "one day I will tell you how I got them, but right now it's not important, what is important that you can see pass them"

Emily nodded "I don't think I am ready Jennifer" she admitted as JJ nodded against her neck "You will know when you're ready, I just ask one thing" "what's that?" Emily asked, "You don't hide them from me, because I don't see them I see you" she said softly.

Emily tensed slightly "I will try, I just feel ashamed and scared right now" she replied. "I used to feel ashamed as well Em, but I got use to them, it just takes time" she kissed her cheek softly "give it time Em" she smiled looking deeply into her eyes.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

**I have changed part of Emily's past, so you either will like it or not **

**Location: Emily's Condo**

**Date and time: 27/12 2006 4.42pm**

"So we can either watch a movie or if you have any board games we can play?" JJ smiled as she saw the look of shock on Emily's face. "I don't have board games" she bit her lip slightly "Movie?" JJ said trying to hold back the giggle.

"Em have you ever played a board game?" JJ somewhat teased, but also hoping she was wrong until a very serious Prentiss looked at her "I was never allowed them" she said as she frowned slightly "Oh, that so needs to change" JJ chuckled

"Or you could tell me about the many different countries you have been too" JJ smiled sweetly as she saw a glint in Emily's eye "You really want to hear about that?" Emily said a little taken back. "Oh, most definitely" JJ beamed.

Emily blushed slightly, "No one has ever wanted to know about that" she frowned slightly. "Well I am not just anyone I'm I?" JJ smirked. "That's a definite" Emily smiled "are you sure you want to hear about it" she said as she bit her lip.

JJ rolled her eyes "You want to hear about mine first?" Emily nodded "As long as I can hold you while you tell me" Emily said sweetly

JJ hesitated "I don't want to hurt you Em" JJ's eyes landed on her chest as she spoke. "You know where they are so I know you won't lean on them" Emily looked down for a moment as JJ moved closed leaning into her side and resting her head slightly on Emily's chest.

"As you know I grew up in East Allegheny, it's a small town and not much interesting happened there, well not interesting to most" JJ chuckled "I went to East Alleghany High School, where I fell in love with soccer and ended up as the captain of the varsity soccer team" JJ pause slightly.

"That would also be around the time I had my first and last girlfriend" JJ moved closer to Emily as she was finding it more and harder to speak about this part of her life. She frowned slightly "we split up after a few years, she told me it was a phase she was going through" JJ sighed slightly.

Emily pulled her closer feeling the tension that had built in JJ "Jennifer you don't have to if it's too hard for you" Emily said softly to which JJ shook her head.

"As you know I love the Redskins" she chuckled "I even went to watch them with Spence and for someone who is a genius he couldn't follow it" Emily chuckled slightly "I guess it's too practical for him" JJ nodded "I earned a scholarship to the university of Pittsburgh."

She smiled softly "I had no idea what I wanted to do, up until I heard Rossi speak on campus, that fall I enrolled in the FBI and well the rest is pretty much history" she smiled softly. "Also my ticket out of that place and yes I hate going back there so I avoid" JJ admitted her voice as much as a whisper.

"You know if I tell you about mine we are going to be here awhile" Emily joked, "I guess I grew up in the Ukraine. But I don't remember much, I don't think my Mother was posted there long, we moved around a lot when I was growing up so it was always hard for me to make friends and be myself" she paused slightly.

"It wasn't the best years of my life, but I did learn a lot and as you know I can speak a few languages aside from Russia," she giggled slightly. "Which I am only just passible in"

She sighed slightly "then we moved to Europe, which was lovely though I never want to go back" she admitted "Too painful" she said softly, "I also have a high distain for politics after seeing what it has done to my Mother, and what if cost my Father"

"Then we moved back to the US and I graduated from Yale, first time I could call a place my home" Emily gave a weak smile. Emily spoke softly "when I was 15 I found out I was pregnant" she stopped and waited for a backlash of saying that. JJ smiled softly as she kissed her under her chin

"What was your first girlfriend like Em?" JJ asked which caused Emily to laugh slightly as she held her ribs "Ouch!" she muttered under her breath. "My first year at Yale" Emily sighed softly "She was my roommate, it didn't last long, she said I was too closed off and too guarded" Emily admitted, "I've dated a few after that but I never could let my guard down for a second" she started drawing patterns on JJ's arm as she spoke.

"They were either around for money or to get a name for themselves" Emily went quiet after a while as JJ's stomach growled, "I think someone needs food" Emily teased as JJ nodded into her side

"But I don't want to move" JJ whined slightly "Your too comfortable" as she rubbed her face against Emily's side, Emily laughed slightly "You got your phone handy?" Emily asked as JJ wriggled her phone out her pocket "Yes" as she handed the phone over to Emily. "Is there any food you don't like?" "Oh, nothing spicy, and that's also going to involve moving isn't it?" JJ half complained

Emily chuckled at JJ's protests "Yes but it will take over half an hour to get here" as she dialled a number she knew of by heart. "Hey John any chance you can do me a meal for two?" she closed her eyes slightly. "No I'm not telling you, yes my usual" Emily sighed "And a bottle of your finest red" she drawled out as she smiled.

"No that's fine, okay see you soon" JJ moved slightly and looked at her. "Em, have you got any money on you because I know I haven't!" JJ said as she looks at a now smirking and grinning Emily

"Emily? How are you planning on paying for the food? And you're not allowed to drink!" Emily pulled her closer "Very simply I'm not" she giggled JJ frowned slightly "Doesn't mean you can't" she smirked.

"There is a lot to learn about me Jennifer," she said softly as she placed her lips on her head "and the first one is I never pay at my own restaurant" she chuckled "Oh!"

JJ rested more against the strong form of Emily "Emily what happened to the baby?" Emily closed her eyes as she moved slightly feeling a little uneasy "My Mother thought it would be best if she was adopted but within family" Emily said sadly

"Do you know where she is?" JJ asked "sorry" she mumbled as she sensed Emily tense up slightly "It's okay Jennifer" she smiled softly she knew JJ would ask her this and she trusted her enough to tell her.

"She lives here, part of the reason I moved back to DC, she has a lovely family, and she knows who I am and I also set a trust fund up for her" JJ moved to look at her "So that's why you moved here?" "I wanted to be closer to her," Emily admitted

"What's she called?" Emily laughed slightly "Her name is Sarah-Jane" she smiled softly "And she is the double of me" Emily grinned as she looked over at the pictures scattered over the walls "the one in the middle is Sarah" JJ eyes went wide "Wow! She looks just like you" JJ replied in awe.

"Em, does she know you've been hurt?" JJ asked carefully, but seriously "Mother has informed her and also asked her not to worry" Emily laughed slightly "which knowing her she is worrying" she frowned slightly "I also think Garcia knows even though she has never said anything" Emily said softly and a little unsure.

"Em, if she does she won't say anything that I can promise you or she would have told me" Emily looked at her for a moment "She has known how I felt about you for ages now, and I am almost certain she would have told me, if she knew" JJ smiled as she kissed her softly


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

**Location: Emily's Condo**

**Date and time: 27/12 2006 5.57pm**

They were both pulled out of their thoughts by a gently knock at the door "I'll get it" JJ said as she started to move out of Emily's grip "Okay" she replied softly.

JJ opened the door smiling at the delivery guy "Miss Prentiss?" the guy asked slightly confused "She's in the front room, do you need her?"

JJ frowned slightly "Oh, no Ma'am" he said as he handed the food over "Can you let her know that we are all thinking about her, we heard what happened" JJ nodded "I will and thank you"

Emily slowly got up and walked into the kitchen pulling the plates out, "Jennifer? Is everything okay?" she asked, since she seemed to be taking longer than normal. "Yes, I am coming." JJ chuckled "this smells beautiful, what are we having?" JJ asked as the smell from the bag started to fill the room

Emily smiled "my favourite dish Arroz con pollo and for dessert Buttery Apple Torte" JJ frowned for a moment "Never heard of it" this caused Emily to giggle "Yes you have, chicken with rice" she smiled softly as JJ swatted her on the arm "You could have said that" she chuckled slightly

Emily smiled as she tried to plate up the food though her hands didn't seem to want to cooperate with her "Jennifer, can you please?" she asked without hesitation as JJ gladly took over before the food ended up on the floor.

Once they both were sat and eating their meal aside from the moan that came from JJ as she started to eat "that is just mmm" she smiled as the rice fell apart in her mouth "Em, how come no one knows about Sarah?" she asked softly causing Emily to chuckle.

Emily smiled at her "I just don't want her near this, I mean our job, and I also wouldn't like the questions that it could bring up

She shook her head slightly "she has been through too much Jennifer, and also I didn't know how people would react and more importantly how you would react," she said honestly.

JJ raised her eyebrow slightly at her "she's a apart of you Em, how could that be a bad thing" she smiled softly "is there another reason?"

Emily groaned slightly "She wants to go to law school later, I just don't want her tainted, and you know how I dislike talking about my personal life, at work" "Don't you mean you don't want anyone to get close to you at work?"

Emily sighed "if something happened she'd get hurt and you all think I'm stubborn, believe me she is worse" JJ frowned slightly as she looked at the picture "How old is she now?"

Emily sighed "20" Emily said "and now I feel old" she joked before she paused slightly. "But she has always been a good kid, never in any trouble really" Emily bit her lip slightly.

"What kind of trouble she get into?" JJ asked knowing the look on Emily's face "About five years ago, I took her to the mall and this guy tried to hit on her, which I was about to kick his scrawny ass because he must have easily been 21" Emily laughed slightly.

"She had been taking self-defence classes, poor lad ended up with a busted nose and a bloody lip, I wasn't sure whether to shout at her or prise her" Emily chuckled

JJ smiled "So she takes after you then" Emily shook her head "Sometimes she does other times not so much, more like her dad" Emily said dryly "and no she doesn't know or see him" Emily said firmly.

"So she's a rebel" "She was but now she has settled down a lot, I think having me close by helps her, it was hard when I had to work away for us both"

"So she has always known you as her mom?" JJ asked, "Yes we never kept that from her, just legally she wasn't" Emily smiled "so will I get to meet her?" she asked. "When she remembers where I live" Emily smirked.

JJ smiled as they finished eating and Emily plated up dessert, "I missed a lot when she was growing up though, but sometimes when I have said I'm going to my Mothers for dinner. It was normally me and Sarah spending time together movies or going for a drive, I'd hate to cramp her style"

JJ nodded "Wish you had told me about her before Em, it doesn't change anything, unless she doesn't like me"

Emily chocked slightly on her food and blushed deeply "She knows all about you Jennifer" JJ stared at her for a while "You've talked about me?"

Emily shrugged "I had to tell her she was trying to set me up on a dating site" Emily frowned "And that is just so wrong" she shook her head "As she put it, you're not getting any younger Mom you need to get laid"

JJ laughed as Emily finished "She didn't" "Oh, she did, and I stopped her allowance for a month, so thankfully she has never brought it up again" "I always said you'd make a great mom, is that why when we have cases it always affects you badly" Emily nodded "I always think it could so easily be Sarah" Emily sighed

"I can understand why" JJ said softly as they finished their meal "I think you have just spoiled me Emily that was the best meal I have had in a long time" JJ grinned, Emily smiled "well that was easy" Emily chuckled "don't take much to spoil you then" JJ rolled her eyes "Behave"

"So Jennifer what would you like to do?" JJ looked at her "Well we have an early start tomorrow, your stitches are coming out so we can relax with a film or play cards, cuddle up in bed or anything you want" JJ rambled slightly

"How about we cuddle up and watch a movie, I think I have popcorn in the cupboard if you want I can make some" JJ nodded.

"Sounds good to me, what film you want to watch?" "Oh just pick one, just nothing soppy I think we both have had enough tears this past few weeks" Emily smiled softly as she started to move the plates to the sinks "How about a horror?"

Emily glared at her slightly "Really? We are not at work, and you still wanted to see blood and guts" Emily joked, "Well it's not really" JJ defended herself "or you have any good comedies?"

"How about, big daddy?" Emily said softly, JJ chuckled "Now Emily I didn't think you'd watch something like that" Emily smiled "Well I need something to take my mind off all the blood and guts"

JJ found the dvds and placed it in the player waiting for Emily to join her on the couch "Let me hold you?" JJ asked, as Emily blushed allowing JJ to wrap her arms around her as she leant into her.

Within half an hour of the movie, starting both Emily and JJ had fallen asleep; JJ stirred slightly as a slight rattle; could be heard, coming from the front door JJ tensed slightly as she tried to wake Emily up "Em! Wake up" she shook her gently. Still she got no response off her aside from a grunt.

The noise got less as JJ relaxed slightly, until she heard a bang coming from the hallway causing her to JJ and stir Emily some much "Jennifer" she whispered softly as fear crept inside JJ

"Em, you need to wake up!" she rocked her again before hearing a very familiar voice echo form the hallway "Mom you there?" JJ kept quiet "MOM"

Emily grunted slightly as she spoke "Sarah I swear to god, you don't need to scream" Sarah walked further in "Well if you answered" she stopped speaking as she spotted blonde hair "I was asleep, and you just scared the shit out of Jennifer" Emily replied as she started to get up.

"Sorry" she muttered as she walked fully into the room "I've just got back from New York and got Grandma's message"

"You know if she ever hears you call her that" "Yeah I know I'll get bitch slapped again" Emily chuckled as she sat up fully "You okay Jennifer" "Yeah my heart is still in my mouth"

Sarah chuckled as she walked around to stand in front of them both "Sorry" she said softly as JJ stared at her "God she is your double" JJ whispered.

Emily looked fully at her "What the hell did you do to your hair?" Sarah rolled her eyes "Fell asleep in a frat house" Emily laughed, "You never learn"

Sarah looked at her for a long moment "Grandma said it was bad?" Emily rolled her eyes "And I thought I brought you up with manners" Emily restored "Oh, sorry" as she held out her hand "With the way Mom speaks about you I feel I already know you" JJ laughed "Nice to meet you Sarah" JJ smiled

"You only just told her about me tonight Mom, didn't you?" Emily nodded as she rolled her eyes "Where you staying?"

"Well I was hoping I could use my bedroom for a change" Sarah joked "Unless" "No that's fine" Emily smiled softly "we have to go out early in the morning to the hospital though, we will try not to wake you"

"Mom, how bad is it?" Sarah asked again "Nothing that won't heel okay, now stop worrying and go make us all a drink" Emily smiled as she moved closer to JJ "you okay?" she whispered into JJ's ear "She is your double" JJ muttered causing Emily to laugh "Yeah we get that a lot"

"Mom, maybe you should let people know I exist then they won't be so shocked when they see me or they say they've seen you in that strip bar" Sarah laughed, "I had fun explaining that to Morgan and remind me again why you were there?" Emily scowled

"To look at some sexy bodies" Emily groaned, "Did you have to say that" "I was told never to lie, and plus just because you couldn't get any didn't mean I couldn't" she smirked at the blonde "Sarah!" Emily scowled as she took her drink "I guess you take the same as Mom does?" as she handed her the cup "Yes and thanks"

Emily looked at JJ "She tried it on with Morgan in a strip bar of all places; I really do think he had nightmares through that." "Mom he is dreamy though" Sarah smirked "and yet still you wouldn't tell him who I was" Sarah joked.

"And as I told you, if he touches you I'll pull your trust fund" Emily smirked she looked at JJ "Sorry Morgan just thinks there is someone who looks at me walking around DC " Emily said as she wrapped her arm around JJ

Sarah stared at them both looking them both up and down "You told her then? And she is still here" Sarah joked, "Sorry Mom always said you might run if she told you" JJ blushed deeply as she looked at Emily.

"I always said the same thing to my fried Garcia" she replied softly "Sarah, though it is lovely to see you, do you mind if we go to bed, I'm totally wiped out" "No that's fine Mom, I'll see you when you get back from the hospital" Sarah smiled softly.


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

**Location: Emily's Condo**

**Date and time: 28/12 2006 6.24am**

Emily moan softly, as a noise pulled her from her slumber, she listened trying to make out where the noise was coming from "No, stop" the voice mumbled, as Emily opened her eyes her hand reaching for JJ "get off her" Emily frowned slightly as she sat up slightly.

Her heart tighten as her eyes fell on JJ her face was contorted in pain as she was mumbling in her sleep "NO!" JJ screamed as Emily tried to wake her gently "Jennifer it's me sweetie wake up"

"EMILY!" JJ shouted as Emily tried again to wake her "Jennifer wake up sweetie, I'm here" she said firmly as a slight knock on the bedroom door came through "Mom! Is everything okay?"

"Jennifer wake up sweetie" as a heart wrenching sob came from the trembling form next to her, "I can't seem to wake her" Emily whispered , as Sarah slowly walked into the bedroom "Mom?" she whispered.

"You need anything?" Emily nodded "My cell downstairs, can you ring JJ's number if I can't wake her that will" as Emily again tried rocking JJ awake, Sarah nodded walking downstairs turning the coffee machine on as she found her Mom's phone dialling JJ's number

Emily carried on rocking as she heard the cell buzz against the nightstand "Mmm" JJ mumbled somewhat "Jennifer wake up babe" Emily pleaded as JJ finally started to move as though she was reaching for her phone.

"Don't want to move," she grumbled as she managed to pick up her phone half grumbling into it "best be important" Emily chuckled. "You with me now?" as JJ scowled at the caller id "Em, why you ringing me?"

"You were having a bad dream and I couldn't wake you" JJ sat up somewhat confused "Okay, but I know your phone is downstairs" JJ frowned "You remember Sarah" Emily joked slightly.

As she pulled JJ closer to her "Oh, god she hid her face into Emily's neck "I am so sorry" Emily kissed her head "Shh, she's use to it with me, just be glad she doesn't know you as well as she knows me"

Emily pulled the covers back over JJ as Sarah knocked on the door, last thing she wanted was for Sarah to see her scars let along JJ's.

"Hey" she said softly as she walked in with a tray carrying three coffees "I thought you both could use one" she said kindly "I'm so sorry I woke you" JJ said as she blushed deeply.

Sarah rolled her eyes "You're not as loud as Mom and no need to be sorry" Sarah passed them both their cups of coffee. "Mom, I'm going to go back to bed, good luck today." she said softly as she leant over to give her Mom a kiss on the cheek "thank you" she smiled softly as Sarah left closing the door softly behind her.

JJ turned to look at Emily a little sheepish, "Hey it's okay Jennifer," she said as she ran her finger gently over her jawline. "I'm sorry," she muttered

"I think I have woke you more times than you have so stop saying sorry and don't worry, about Sarah she won't say anything" Emily said seeing the worry in JJ's eyes "You sure? She doesn't know me" JJ half chuckled to herself as the embarrassment slowly wore away.

Emily smiled softly "She's my daughter, so she is more than use to it, we both suffer from them" Emily said softly "I guess we should start to get up" JJ said as she began to stretch "Drink your coffee first, do you want to tell me what you was dreaming about" she asked softly.

JJ moved closer against Emily as she spoke "I hate you had to go through everything Em" she said softly "and sometimes it gets into my dreams, I haven't had one since we got out of the hospital" JJ confessed.

Emily nodded "might be because we are due there in a few hours" Emily sighed softly.

Emily ran her fingers along JJ's stomach as JJ tried to pat her hand away "stop that" she chuckled "I'm ticklish" "Sorry" Emily replied as she rested her hand on her stomach drawing patterns across her skin.

"You like doing that, don't you?" JJ asked "Touching you? Yes very much" Emily chuckled. "No, I meant drawing patterns on me" she smirked.

"That I do" Emily smiled as she went to move "Jennifer, are they taking all the stitches out today?" she asked, JJ shook her head "Just the ones on your chest, the other ones will come out on their own" she said softly.

"Okay" she said sadly "Em? What is it" Emily swallowed slightly "Will, I mean, you'll be with me when they take them out?"

JJ smiled softly "I will be holding your hand, try not to worry" JJ said as she finished her coffee "She really does make a good coffee, who taught her that."

Emily laughed "Mother taught her" JJ watched her for a moment as the words slipped out so softly "I love you" Emily smiled at her looking into her eyes "I love you too Jennifer" gently placing her cup on the side she turned back round pulling JJ into a gentle kiss. "More than words can say," she whispered as she pulled away.

Emily started to get up out of bed as JJ followed suit "What you fancy wearing?" she asked Emily "Button shirt I guess, then at least I only have to open it right?" she asked.

"Yes, as long as I can remove it once we are home" JJ said somewhat jokingly "I'll get back to you on that" Emily teased as she walked into the bathroom to start her morning rituals.

"Damn it!" Emily cursed "Em? What's happened" "Caught that sore with the toothbrush" Emily said as she spat the blood out of her mouth.

JJ sighed, "I warned you to be careful, he really did some damage with that thing" JJ hand drew the O-shaped contraption that Rob had put in her mouth one too many times; Emily nodded as she swilled her mouth out.

'_**The past few days of being out of that hospital had been great Emily had stopped closing off but now she had gone back to not speaking about it and to be honest I am not sure if that is a good thing or not.**_

_**We seemed to have gotten somewhat closer I really do think showing her all my scars was a good idea, but yet now I remember my past, but I dealt with that a long time ago.**_

_**I just hope Emily can do the same. I have known this woman for a few years and she has only just told me about her daughter, I can understand about wanting to keep her personal life private, but does that also mean; I will be a secret or will she not hide me away?**_

_**There is something between them Emily said Sarah has nightmares as well, I am starting to think there is more to her past than she is letting go or shall I say letting me in.**_

_**There again I'm not much better, she has seen my scars, but I am not ready to talk to her about them yet, she isn't strong enough to deal with that on top of what she is already dealing with.**_

_**I guess we have a lifetime to tell each other everything, she must have an idea what has happened to me but if she has, she has never said.**_

_**Even Garcia doesn't know about it, and very much like Emily, I want to keep it that way, so maybe I can understand why she never told any of us about Sarah surely Hotch knows?**_

_**There again he might not if someone else was raising her as their own, that must have been so hard to watch someone else raise your own child, the more I know about her the more I want, she kisses me and I see fireworks, maybe the sex will blow me away.**_

_**Okay really should not be thinking about that side because that can't be planned or anything.**_

_**Is it wrong to say I am glad she got hurt? Even though I know it's not and I would never want anyone to suffer as she has.**_

_**But on the other hand if she hadn't would we be like we are now, would she be fully unguarded around me, god she looks at me sometimes and I swear she can see my soul which is a little creepy.**_

_**However, I love it, I guess I am just not sure what is going to happen she needs to be able to look at herself and stop hiding. However, what happens when we go back to work, this job; is her life, and when I say life; she lives breathes and drinks it, much like Hotch does, is it because she never had anyone to go home to?**_

_**I know when we get back off a tough case I curl up with my pillow and cry into it, I wonder after seeing this side to her, if that is what she does?**_

_**I also do not think I can sleep without her I need to know she is safe, the thought of her getting hurt again does not even bare a thought to, because I know it would kill me.**_

_**I wish I had told her months ago that I had feelings for her, and then she would not have gone to that stupid bar, ugh! That's our local bar as well, what if she can't face it?'**_

"Jennifer, are you nearly ready to go?" Emily asked, "Yeah just give me a second"

'_**Well that is my cue to leave, write soon Jen x'**_


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

**Location: Hospital Parking Lot**

**Date and time: 28/12 2006 2.12pm**

Emily had gone quite since leaving the doctors room, locking herself away again, JJ opened the car door for her as she got in not even meeting her eye line, JJ closed the door before walking around to the other side.

"Em?" Emily turns and gives her a weak smile, her hand coming over to rest on her knee, as JJ set off towards home.

The drive back was quiet but Emily's hand never left JJ's knee, she gripped it not too hard but enough, as though she was holding on or grounding herself.

"Jennifer" she said weakly "That really hurt" she admitted as they pulled up at a stop sign, JJ turned to look at her "I have some cream, you want me to rub some in when we get back?" JJ asked carefully.

Emily never verbally answered she just nodded as she stared out the window, she pulled up outside the complex switching off the engine before getting out.

She paused slightly "Emily, we're home," she said softly, as she took in the blank expression on her face.

She walked around to the other side, opened her door, and helped her out "Talk to me Em?" JJ asked as Emily just wrapped her arm around her waist.

"I love you, you know that, don't you" JJ looked puzzled at her for a moment "Of course I know that, and you know I love you" JJ smiled softly.

Emily sighed softly "We are going to have to tell Hotch aren't we?" Emily asked as though her mind were somewhere else.

"I don't want to split the team up Jennifer" pulling the blonde closer into her side "But I also don't want to lose you" JJ chuckled slightly

"They might not have known your gay Em but they all know how I feel about you and I am pretty sure they know something" JJ paused "And if they don't, then they really aren't that good of profilers" JJ laughed causing Emily to chuckle slightly.

"Still might be best we speak to Hotch…Unless you don't wasn't to... I mean if you're not comfortable with this...I mean us" Emily's words stumbled out in a rush.

"You want me to make a call, might be better to do it now since I'm not due back in for a few more days," JJ said as they made their way towards Emily's door.

Emily opened the door as they both walked in closing the door behind them "Jennifer" she paused as she spotted someone other than her daughter sat on the couch.

Emily gripped JJ's hand as she called out. "Sarah?" "Hey Em" said a now standing Garcia as Emily shuddered inside. "Hey Garcia, have you been here long?"

Garcia smiled as she rose her eyebrow "About an hour" "You want a coffee Em?" JJ asked as she glared at her best friend "Please, you want a drink Garcia?"

"No just had one, Sarah just went for a shower," Garcia said with a questioning look on her face. Emily nodded ignoring the look she was getting as joined her friend on the other side of the couch.

"She is the double of you Em," Garcia said softly "Thanks" Emily said with a slight unease in her voice. "Here you go" JJ said as she handed Emily her cup, before sitting behind her so Emily could lean into her.

"So what brings you here?" JJ asked softly "Oh, I wanted to check on my two favourite people" she replied happily, as she looked between them both.

JJ rested her hand on Emily's stomach as she started to draw patterns with her fingers "Been a long morning, just been the hospital" JJ said as Emily stayed very quiet, "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah everything is fine," JJ said as she gave Garcia a look that said no it's not really.

Emily closed her eyes slightly as she tried to clear her mind, before shaking her head slightly "I'll be right back, I just want a word with Sarah," Emily said as she started to move away from JJ.

Emily left JJ and Garcia alone as she walked up stairs and into her daughter's bedroom, Sarah smiled softly at her Mom, as Emily broke down in her arms "Sorry" she muttered as Sarah comforted her "Don't be Mom"

"She has a daughter?" Garcia questioned once Emily was out of earshot, JJ giggled, "Yes she does and she also doesn't like people to know" Garcia frowned "It never came up when I did a background check on her."

JJ scowled "You did a background check on her!" JJ said in disbelief "Well with everything with Elle I wanted to make sure you guys were okay and safe" JJ shook her head

"You do know if she finds out, you're going to pay for that, don't you!" JJ looked at her. "Anyway" Garcia said brightly changing the subject "Are you two, a couple? As in official" she prodded.

"Yes we are but" she paused "We need to talk to Hotch first, and also I think for Emily's sake, you don't mention anything about Sarah" JJ said very seriously "To anyone, promise me"

Garcia looked at her perplexed "Okay?" JJ smiled "There is a reason we didn't know about her, and I am guessing it's an important reason," JJ said as she half smiled.

"She wouldn't her kept it a secret otherwise" JJ pointed out "And no I don't know" JJ said before her friend had chance to ask.

"I was hoping we could have a girly afternoon, if Emily's up to it? I've brought some movies" Garcia smiled.

Sarah appeared behind them making both women jump "Mom will be down in a few" she said softly as she headed into the kitchen "You two want something to eat, I'm making chicken pasta"

They both nodded "Do you need a hand?" JJ and Garcia asked at the same time "No I'm good" she smiled "But thank you"

"Garcia please tell me when you said you brought movies they aren't horrors?" JJ asked her as Garcia laughed "Men in black" she smirked. "Thought you both might like it and I think we have had enough horror this month" "I second that" Emily said as she walked into the room.

Emily walked over to the couch and motioned JJ to move over as she whispered softly "I want to hold you" she smiled, as JJ moved before she sat down, pulling the blonde close into her wrapping her arms around her softly "Mom? Where is the wine" Sarah hollered from the kitchen "In the shop" Emily shook her head

"Oh, can I" "In my purse" Emily answered knowing what was coming next "Garcia you want her to pick up some beers for you and Jen...JJ?" she blushed slightly as JJ fingers interlaced with hers.

"That sounds good, but I drove over so I can only have one" Sarah scoffed from the kitchen "No-one ever just has one beer, and you can take my room if you need" Sarah said as she headed out the door leaving Emily glaring at her retreating form

"Anyone would think this is her place" Emily joked "But, she's right you can stay here Garcia" she smiled warmly as JJ snuggled closer into her "Thank you shall I put the dvd in or shall we wait for her to come back?" "Put it on and she can watch when she gets back" Emily said softly.

Garcia placed the dvd in turning the player and TV on before sitting back on the couch as they waited for the movie to start.

Sarah arrived back with half an hour handing JJ and Garcia a beer before taking the rest into the kitchen. "Help yourselves to more beers, Mom I got you some chocolate ice-cream" Sarah winked at her and Emily smiled in return.

They ate their lunch; the conversation was light and easy as they all settled back to watching the movie.

Emily was randomly drawing patterns on JJ as they watched it, before they put the second movie on, Emily hadn't said much in the past half an hour and JJ was getting a little concern as she couldn't see her from the angle she was lay.

"Em?" she said softly as Sarah cleared her throat to get JJ's attention "She's been asleep for the last half hour" she said softly as JJ settled back down into her arms and nodded at Sarah "Thanks" she whispered.


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40**

**Location: Emily's Condo**

**Date and time: 7/1/07 5.45am**

Emily groaned as the sound of the alarm buzzed through the bedroom covering her face with the pillow trying to ignore the conferral droning of the alarm "Hmm" JJ stirred as she reached over to hit the snooze button.

She stretched carefully as she started to run her fingers over bare flesh "You could of turned it off instead of hiding" JJ said her voice laden with sleep as she ghosted her fingers so softly over the skin, causing Emily to squirm

"That would have involved moving" she whined. As JJ moved to sit on top of Emily "I'd rather see your face than a pillow though," JJ said playfully.

"How can you be so awake, and before coffee" Emily yawned as she moved the pillow, smiling softly into loving blue eyes "That would be because I went to bed early and you and Sarah stayed up playing poker" she laughed, as she leaned in kissing her softly.

Emily kissed her back softly as she then pulled away "She leaves today" Emily pouted

"How long will she be gone?" JJ asked as she cupped Emily's breasts running her thumb gently over her nipple "three months" Emily said as she moaned softly at JJ's touch.

JJ grazed her nails over her skin gently "You know" JJ said as she twisted her nipple gently; causing Emily to moan out her reply "What" JJ smirked.

"I have to take a shower" as she moved off Emily, Emily groaned, "That's cruel" Emily pouted as she watched JJ retreat into the bathroom.

Emily stretched as her bones popped back in waking her up fully "Jennifer? I thought you didn't have to be in till 8?" Emily said as she walked into the bathroom.

"We don't have to be in till 8" JJ smirked "Then why we up so early?" Emily complained slightly as she started to brush her teeth "You need a shower" Emily froze slightly "Oh, I can" JJ cut her off "That's why we are up early so I can help, okay" she said reassuringly" Emily made a disgruntled sound in agreement.

JJ stepped out the shower as she spoke "And plus you still struggle getting your bra on" she smiled as she wrapped her wet arms around Emily "So you want me to shower fully dressed now?" Emily teased as her top began to soak in the water off JJ.

JJ flipped the bathroom light off as Emily started to undo her top "Thanks" she said softly as JJ came up behind her wrapping her arms tightly around her waist

"You're beautiful" she smiled as she kissed her cheek "Now get that sexy ass in the shower" she said playfully as Emily stepped into the warm shower.

JJ finished getting ready, as she waited for Emily to get out of the shower.

'_**There has been some improvement, the nightmares are less now for us both, she still hasn't been able to look at herself yet.**_

_**And she still hasn't seen the rest of me other than what I showed her, but I think she is getting there, she has finally been cleared for desk duty, though she is not impressed since she hates paperwork.**_

_**But I am glad stops her worrying every time I leave and more so if Sarah is also leaving today, she tends to panic if she's alone, which maybe a problem when she is cleared for field duty, but I am sure she will overcome it.**_

_**She panicked the other day when I pulled my handcuffs out, that wild fearful look in her eyes, which I have not; seen since we came home, I really need to find a way to help her overcome that panic.**_

_**I just have not worked that part out yet, the guys have agreed to help us move, well Emily being a stubborn as she is, we are now moving into my house, and this will be empty unless Sarah is here.**_

_**I have never seen a mother and daughter so close, it is as though they can just read each other's thoughts through a look or a gesture.**_

_**The rest of the team have finally met her which is nice, but what I always find strange is when we are out anywhere she always refers to her as Emily not mom!**_

_**That just strikes me as odd, but I am sure there is a very good reason for it, they just are not ready to share that bit with me?**_

_**There is one thing that makes me smile and I feel really honoured is she hasn't put the walls back up; unless the guys are around, the second we are alone she relaxes and I see all the sweetness and how much love she has for me.**_

_**Hotch has been a great support, though I think her Mother threating Strauss had more to do with us being allowed to stay in the same unit as each other'**_

"Jennifer" Emily whispered as she walked into the bedroom, JJ placed her diary back into the draw as she turned and looked at her "You all finished?" Emily nodded as JJ picked up the cream "Lay down sweetie so I can put this on" she smiled softly.

Emily scars were still angry and red, and if she moved the wrong way, it would hurt but at least they were healing and that was all that mattered to JJ as she started to massage the cream into her skin.

"These are looking so much better Em" Emily half smiled "What are the ones on my back like?" JJ sniggered "I won't know until you turn over"

This had become there day routine, Emily turned over as JJ started to massage more cream on her back before she leant over kissing her neck "They are looking good, and you just look as stunning as ever" JJ whispered in her ear, making Emily chuckle "Smooth Jennifer very smooth"

JJ got off the bed letting Emily move before helping her get her bra on, if it wasn't done carefully Emily would wince in pain, her ribs were healing nicely but the doctors have said she could be out for a few more weeks then back into light field work.

"Right you finish getting ready and I'll go and put the coffee on, and you can make breakfast when you come down," JJ teased slightly as Emily groaned.

"You mean burnt toast for breakfast? Or can we just go to the deli on the way in and I'll buy you a breakfast wrap" she smiled sweetly as JJ nodded "Sure but coffee first"

JJ made her way downstairs sitting at the breakfast bar waiting on the coffee machine, Sarah snuck into Emily's room once JJ had gone downstairs "Mom" she said softly "Hey, did we wake you?" Emily said softly as she looks at her.

"No you didn't I just wanted to wish you luck on your first day back, and Mom try not to worry" she smiled softly "When did you become so in tuned" Emily joked "I'm your daughter so it is my job" Sarah smirked before leaving her to finish getting ready

Emily made her way downstairs "You know I can feel you watching me" JJ ducked her head slightly "Sorry" "Don't be I like it" Emily retorted "Did we wake her?" Emily shook her head "No, we didn't" she replied as she took the offered cup off JJ.

"Ugh! I need to get into work mode" Emily joked "Work mode? I think we will be doing paperwork for a month" JJ glared at her slightly "No. what I meant is I have to say calling you JJ" Emily said sticking out her bottom lip "Oh" she smirked slightly "I still get to call you Emily" she teased gently.


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41**

**Location: BAU**

**Date and time: 7/1/07 7.34am**

Emily groaned slightly as they walked into the bullpen "I said we'd be early" as they both entered the kitchen. "I know, but you at least get a head start on the paperwork" JJ said carefully as she bit her lip knowing that Emily hated paperwork.

Emily handed JJ her cup "I know, and I am on desk duty for a few more weeks" Emily sighed "Hey" Morgan said as he came in wrapping his arms gently around her giving her a hug. "We've missed you" he smiled "You saw me at weekend" Emily teased rolling her eyes.

"Yes! But that was social this is work, and plus that means I can hand you some of my paperwork" her joked as Emily glared at him "You can do your own paperwork" JJ walked up to her office as the rest of the team piled in.

"So Morgan, been hitting on anyone lately?" Emily teased as he held his hands up "Hey, if I knew she was your kid, I would never have hit on her" "He would, he just wouldn't brag" Reid piped up.

"Hey kid, I do have some personal boundaries" "Only because you know Emily would shot you first then ask the questions" "Reid," Emily warned.

"So is there any gossip?" Emily smirked as they looked at her "Aside from you and JJ you mean?" Emily rolled her eyes "I don't want to know" as they all sat at their desks just as Hotch walked in.

"Prentiss, nice to have you back" she smiled at him as she pulled out the first file that needed to be reviewed "Thanks"

JJ called everyone into the conference room half an hour later.

JJ stood in front of the screen turning it on as everyone filed in taking their seats

Jacksonville Florida children have found a human skull and, another washed up on the riverbank. Last Friday another two more skulls; were found included in the river's sediment.

An autopsy proved the first two crania to be that of young people aged between 18 and 20 and the last skull found from a boy of approximately 12. In all cases, a sharp instrument; had been used to separate the skulls from the torso and the flesh had been entirely removed.

It was, initially thought that the human remains originated from the anatomical institute in Jacksonville or that they, had been flung into the river by grave robbers fleeing from capture.

Yet these theories are unproven and some boys playing on a marshland unearthed a sack containing human bones. It had become impossible for the authorities to keep these grisly finds a secret and, whilst young boys continued to be reported missing ("the number has grown to almost 600") Emily muttered to herself,

Jacksonville has been gripped by terror. The investigation highlighted that those missing were mostly aged between 14 and 18, a multitude of bones, have been discovered; in the marshlands.

More than 500 parts of corpses have been detected, the remains of at least 22 people, a third aged between 15 and 20. Approximately one-half had been in the water for some time and the joints of many of the fresh bones had smoothly cut surfaces.

"Wheels up in 20" Hotch said as JJ finished "Prentiss" "Yes?" she looked at him knowing what he was going to say "You haven't been cleared to fly yet, but you can help work the profile from here" he said "Okay" she nodded before looking at JJ.

JJ walked over to her seeing some of the fear in her eyes, JJ was the only one she would allow to see her fully "Jennifer" she said softly.

JJ cupped her cheek as Emily easily leant into the touch "I will be careful, I promise," she smiled softly, Emily nodded "You best had be" Emily said firmly, she had not been on her own since her attack and if she was honest she was petrified.

"You could always have Garcia stay with you while I'm gone" JJ tried as Emily shook her head "No, I'll be fine you just hurry home" Emily looked at her with her loving eyes before leaving the room.

They were greeted at the airport, then driven to the local police station; where JJ introduced the team.

JJ and Reid started setting up, though they had already made a start on the profile, they would be able to add more to it once they had seen the crime scene and the coronary's report and looked at the bones.

The detective in charge came into the room as JJ spoke "We are ready to give the profile" "Already?" She smiled "We worked on it on the way over here, so if you could get everyone ready so we can begin" JJ said as the team follow out spreading along the far wall.

"The man we are looking for will already be known to the police mainly as a thief and sexual offender. His appearance he will be sympathetic in appearance, a simple man with a friendly, open expression and a courteous nature. Of average height, broad and well built, this shows with the age of the victims and the fact they were willing to go with him so they may have even known him" Hotch said.

Reid took over; "His features will be generally small and unprepossessing as the rest of his appearance, he will be notability well-groomed, and At times he will appear cagey or calculating"

Morgan took over; "Yet also talkative and hyperactive, desperately seeking sympathy and attention."

Rossi added in finally "he has a serve dislike for his father and from an early age and has continued this loathing throughout his life. He will also be someone who you least expect and far from evil looking"

They all filled back into the room as Hotch spoke "We all should go and get some rest, it's late we will meet here at 7" he said as everyone started to leave for the hotel.

**Location: Emily's Condo.**

Emily had left the BAU and headed home after reassuring Garcia she was okay.

She laid down on the couch with a glass of wine, which she knew she would regret since she was still on pain medication. However, she just could not settle or fall asleep she was already missing JJ and her mind had slowly started to sink back to the days held in the basement.

JJ had tried ringing Emily once she had gotten back to the hotel, but each time she just got voicemail, so she was hoping she was asleep, and not just ignoring her calls.

JJ had learnt in the past few weeks that when Emily is alone for any length of time she gets lost in her mind and this is something JJ fears.

After the fifth attempt of ringing her, JJ sent Garcia a text **'Pen can you make sure Em is okay for me and let me know in the morning'** she hoped she'd get a reply.

Garcia phone made her stir slightly, whenever her team was away she always rested lightly so she was soon awake and reading the message before texting back. **'She was pretty tired when I left tonight she is more than likely asleep she insisted to me she was fine but I will check, you know how stubborn she can be.' **she replied before settling down again.

**Location: BAU**

**Date and time: 8/1/07 4.34am**

Emily sat at her desk thinking to herself.

**'I can't settle I can't eat, every time I do I feel sick, for the first time in my life I don't feel safe.**

**I didn't know how much she held me together and grounded me, she has seen every part of me, my weaknesses my vulnerability my scars, and yet I still can't look at myself.**

**I daren't, get undressed, as that would mean seeing, I try not to let her see the pain when I move, but I know she does.**

**What if I can't do my job unless she is around me, my mind feels blank.**

**I have been sitting here for the past 4 hours and my thoughts race as though I am still in that damn infernal basement'**

Emily groan slightly as she looked at the time, she had been lost in her thoughts since she had gotten to the BAU, lifting her head up as her neck popped into place she had been sat like that for so long she had even forgotten what time she had arrived at the BAU.

Garcia, was stood in the kitchen watching Emily, she looked at her friend and even she could tell she had not slept at all.

Garcia sent a message to JJ **'Jay I don't think she has slept much, she was in before me and I checked the security footage and it looks like she has been here since 4 this morning and it's now 9'**

"You look like you need a coffee," she said as she placed a mug in front of her "Thanks Garcia" she smiled weakly at her.

"How long you been in?" she asked as she took a sip trying to get her senses to fully wake up "Since six" she smiled as Emily looked away. "I'll come down to your lair with you if that's okay," Emily asked a little unsure.

Garcia smiled softly, "Come on Em" as she took hold of the mug, she had never seen Emily look, this withdrawn "Em why don't you ring JJ?" she asked carefully.

Emily shook her head "She'll be sleeping and she needs to concentrate on the case not worry about me" Emily said quietly. "Emily the girl is going to worry about you, even if you was stood at the side of you she will still worry just like you worry about her, so please ring her" Garcia said more firmly than she meant to.

Emily sighed "I lost my phone" she paused "Well not so much lost it, it may have bounced around a few walls last night, so I need to go and get a new one at some point today" she shrugged.

"Emily Prentiss you will ring her right now," she said handing her the phone and dialling the number "Before you panic her"

JJ stepped out of the shower after trying Emily again only to get voicemail "Pen?" she answered on the fourth ring "try again" she replied sadly "Emily! Thank god! Why didn't you answer you're phone?"

Emily swallowed hard "I broke it so I need to get a new one" "Em, are you okay?" Emily half sniggered before she replied, "I guess" before she handed the phone straight to Garcia

"Jay it's me" "Pen? Where did she go" she said in a sigh. Garcia smiled at Emily before walking out the room and closing the door "She handed me the phone, she doesn't seem herself."

JJ voice changed slightly as she finished getting ready "Garcia if anything happens or changes you ring me or failing that ring Sarah" "I will do" Garcia said as JJ hung the phone up.

**Location: Jacksonville, 7am**

"Hotch" JJ said as she walked into the room "Emily's phone has broken so we can get her on Garcia's for now till she gets a new one" she said slightly flustered.

Hotch raised an eyebrow "Is she okay?" JJ nodded; though she knew all was not okay "Any leads?" she asked changing the subject.

"There has been some developments, a body has been found early hours this morning we are hoping to get a DNA hit since, they must have been disturbed because, he was laid out in the open" Hotch said as he rung Garcia to do a background check on the person who had discovered the body.

JJ frowned slightly as Rossi spoke "What kind of person goes walking around at three in the morning in the marshland unless he has a good reason?" he pointed out as JJ looked at his file "He's rapist?" JJ said, as she looked at his rap sheet that span over 19years.

"They are running his DNA through codas as we speak I would just like some background to leave with the officers then we can fly out this afternoon" Hotch said.

"Was there any point us being here?" Reid asked slightly perplexed "It was a lucky collar or we could have ended up staying for a few more days" Morgan said as he handed JJ a drink "Look like you could use a coffee" he said kindly "Thanks"


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42**

**Location: BAU, Jet**

**Date and time: 8/1/07 6.14pm**

"JJ is everything alright?" Hotch asked as he walked over towards the kitchen, JJ nodded slightly "I just can't wait to get back home" she said as she continued to stare out the window.

"Is everything alright with Emily?" He tried again, JJ looked at him "I think so" she muttered, just as her phone vibrated with a text message. **'I miss you'** JJ read the text and half smiled **'I will be home in a few hours'** she replied.

**Location: Emily's condo**

**Date & time: 8/1/07 11.51pm**

Emily sat on the couch staring at the window she had not slept since JJ had gone on the case; she had not really eaten much either.

'**I close my eyes and I am back there, I can smell the blood I can even taste it.**

**I cannot sleep because every time I do I am back there; waiting for death, waiting for JJ to save me again.**

**I have never depended on anyone before, I have never let anyone control or take control, but yet I allow her so easily, I want to get lost in her eyes and in her warmth and feel safe but she isn't here'**

Emily sighed softly, as she place the paper down she had been scribbling on, onto the coffee table as she stood up

**'JJ I have gone for a run, I won't be long I just can't sit here any longer, Em'**

She left the condo and started a slow run, her body was not fit enough really to do this, but she needed to she had jogged up towards the gas station her body ached, but she needed this, anytime she needed to think or clear her mind this was how she did it.

She carried on for another mile before the burning coursed through her knees as she hit her old route before heading back.

**Location: Emily's condo**

**Date & time: 9/1/07 1.20am**

JJ walked in to the dark condo her eyes focused the best they could until she located the light switch, sighing slightly as she headed into the kitchen turning the kettle on.

She frowned slightly as she spotted the envelope situated on the table, after reading the short note; which Emily had left she cursed as she grabbed her keys and headed straight into her car.

She remembered the old route Emily ran sometimes since they had done it together but she was hoping she was wrong she head up past the gas station before following the familiar route praying Emily hadn't cut through the park **"Damn it Emily"** she cursed as she turned the corner her eyes searching the street.

She pulled the car to a screeching stop as she stopped a crumpled body of one Emily Prentiss in the middle of the path "Em?" she called softly as she knelt down next to her not getting much of a response other than a groan,

"Can you get up for me?" she asked as she gently ran her fingers through her hair removing it out of her eyes, Emily shook her head slightly.

"Not too sure" she answered, she wrapped her arm under hers and gently helped her up, taking all her weight before lifting her into the car,

JJ sighed as she got into the car and heading back home. "What were you thinking Em? You know you're not meant to do any physical exercise yet" JJ half scolded her voice though aired with worry.

Emily gave little to no response as the car finally pulled up outside her condo, JJ walked around helping Emily out the car

"Emily help me a bit here" JJ half joked as she tried to keep Emily upright and unlock the door. "Sorry" she whispered as her shoulders slumped against the wall slightly, finally both women were in the condo.

Where JJ could finally look at Emily dark rings were covering her eyes, her body seemed thinner, JJ just hoped it were the clothes and she hadn't lost weight which she couldn't afford to lose "Come on" JJ said softly as she took Emily's hand guiding her upstairs into the bathroom.

She gently cupped her chin lifting it slightly so Emily's and her eyes finally met "Let me run you a bath" she said softly as she started to draw a bath.

Emily gripped her wrist a little tight as she turned to look at her, her eyes held raw fear in them, her voice was weak and so soft, JJ only just heard her.

"Stay with me" she smiled softly leaving the bath for a moment. "I wasn't planning on going anywhere" she smiled "Let's get them clothes of before you catch your death," JJ said as she helped her undress.

Emily averted her eyes as JJ helped her up. Closing the taps off and helping her into the bath, she winced slightly as sore joints, connected to the metal bath.

She turned her face looking straight at JJ her eyes sad but her words were even sadder "I missed you" JJ ran her fingers across her cheek as Emily leaned further into the contact of her hand.

"Join me?" she asked softly, JJ hesitated slightly "Not tonight" she said carefully, she knew it would raise questions but she knew she couldn't not yet, she had seen the scars but not all the scars and JJ just wasn't ready yet.

Kissing her forehead gently "You warming up" she asked as she moved the water over her body gently washing her, Emily groaned slightly at the contact her voice slightly husky "Yeah" she closed her eyes as she tried to get closer to the blonde, her scent soothing her body.

JJ pulled the plug emptying the bath as she helped one very relaxed Emily Prentiss out the bath wrapping the towel around her.

Emily looked straight at her as she closed the distance as their lips met in a soft and tender kiss. JJ moaned slightly in to the kiss her tongue ran along Emily's bottom lip asking for entry, which Emily granted as their tongues danced which each other's.

Emily moaned slightly before pulling back "Wow!" she gasped as she looked into swirling blue eyes.

JJ smirked "Your easily pleased" she joked as she guided her into the bedroom helping her dry off and get dressed, before grabbing her clothes and disappearing into the bathroom to change,

Emily's eyes tracked her every movement, as she lay slightly stiff on the bed still not daring to close her eyes.

JJ walked back into their room and smiled "Hey you okay" she said softly as she watch dark chocolate eyes track her movements she nodded slightly.

"Hold me?" she asked softly as JJ gently climbed into the bed lying on her back, so Emily could snuggle into her, which she did.

Wrapping a protective arms around her waist as she played with her hair kissing her forehead "Sleep Em, I've got you" she said softly as she felt Emily's breaths get shallower and softer, as Emily moved in closer to her body. As they, both finally drifted off into peaceful slumber.


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 43**

**Location: Emily's Condo**

**Date & time: 8/2/07 4.30am**

Emily had been off for the past month, her body had fully recovered though her joints were still sore, and she had yet to be, cleared for field duty.

And that was why they needed to be in early today so Emily could finally get the all clear though she had to promise Morgan 20 hours of training a week, to which JJ was not impressed they were both stubborn both like the challenge and Emily hated to loose

JJ groaned loudly as she stirred slightly in the bed "Do you have to start the self-induced torture at this time in the morning." JJ half mumbled, as she grabbed the pillow placing it over her head.

Emily looked at her and shook her head slightly "Well I can always stop and we can be late for work" Emily stated as the pillow hurtled towards her.

"Well if someone hadn't had got an infection and flu on top of it, you would have still been in work, but no you had to go running and nearly kill yourself" JJ grumbled as Emily half laughed.

"Well I want to be cleared" Emily half whined at her as she throw the pillow back at JJ "If you are going to wake me at this time in the morning you could have at least got me a coffee" She grumbled as she started to sit up more in bed.

Emily rolled her eyes "Look on your table" she said as she sat on the bed "Pass me your cream" JJ held out her hand as Emily passed the cream over lifting her leg onto the bed allowing JJ to rub the soothing cream into her skin

"Mmm" she mumbled, relaxing under the familiar touch, of her soft fingers, as they worked the knot out of her muscles "They feeling better today?" JJ asked.

"Getting better every day I think" Emily replied as she turned herself to lean against JJ

JJ wrapped her arms around her body gently kissing her neck, this had now become the dance of the past few weeks gently kisses working themselves up, JJ unable to carry on, Emily smiled softly as she spoke "What are you scared of Jen?"

JJ hid her face in the nook of Emily's neck as she spoke "That you'll see the rest" she mumbled, Emily frowned slightly and choose her words carefully, running her fingers up and down her back gently.

"Nothing can stop me loving you ever, I've been hooked on you since the first day I met you," Emily said honestly

JJ shook her head slightly "I don't want you to look at me differently or" she paused hating how she sounded. "No that I think you will, it's just there are a lot of things I keep hidden" Emily nodded.

"Well when you're ready I will be here to listen and Jennifer just so you know nothing you say or do will make me look at you differently or even pity you"

JJ smiled softly as she lifted her head up looking into Emily's eyes "You really are something else Emily" "I maybe that but we really need to get up and get dressed and then hopefully I can be allowed out in the field again" Emily half grumbled, JJ chuckled as she started to move "Yes Ma'am!"

Emily slowly removed herself out of the embrace she was in as she started to get up so they could get ready "You know I love you don't you Jen" Emily mumbled as she headed into the bathroom for her morning rituals.

JJ watched Emily close the door before setting her clothes out for the day and finishing her coffee. Heading to the second bathroom; for a shower.

JJ slowly stripped her clothes off looking down at the marred scars on her legs; "how can I let you see" she whispers to herself "How do I tell you" she mumbles as she turns the shower on "Do I take a chance and show you" she thinks to herself as she lets the water wash over her

Emily walks back into the bedroom and starts, to slowly, get dressed ready for the day as she starts to dress.

JJ walks in wrapped up in her towel "Em promise you won't run?" her voice is unsure wavering slightly as she carries on standing in front of her before she backs out "I promise I won't run" Emily says looking straight into her eyes.

JJ trembles as she drops the towel allowing Emily's eyes to rake over her naked form. Her eyes run over the scars she reaches out her hand lifting JJ chin so she is looking at her "Your beautiful" she smiles softly the love shining through her eyes.

JJ blushes slightly, Emily kisses her softly as a moan escapes her lips JJ deepens the kiss pulling her closer as Emily's fingers run over her body. "Em" she says breathlessly "We need to get ready" as she pulls away from her, Emily nods as she runs her fingers down her cheek. "Your cruel you know that" Emily smirks as she moves away to grab her clothes

"You're not repulsed?" JJ asks as she finishes getting dressed, Emily frowns "Do I repulse you?" she shook her head "Never" Emily smiles "You answered your own question" she smirked

**Location: BAU**

**Time: 9.30am**

They both walk into the bullpen, just as she goes to sit in her desk Hotch's voice booms into the pen "Prentiss, my office now" Emily looks wide eyed at JJ before walking up the stairs she knocks on his door and walks in "Hotch?" she asks slightly wary.

"You get the all clear?" his eyes looking at a piece of paper on his desk. "Yes" She hands him the form "So why have you been avoiding the calls from the hospital? The doctor has rung me direct since you haven't responded to his letters or calls."

Emily leans against the chair "I will deal with it Hotch" her voice slightly cold, he nods "Make sure you do it sounds important, you might not like them but considering" "I know and I have my surgery book for a months' time" he looks at her.

"I got the paper work for that, are you sure 3 weeks will be long enough recovery" she smiles sadly "Yes it should be, that everything?" she asks "Yes that's everything"

Emily walks back to her desk and collapses into her chair "Princess? Everything okay" Morgan nods towards Hotch's office "Oh yeah great" she rolls her eyes before pulling out the first file "You need to talk you know where I am" he says softly, knowing not to push her.

The day seems to drag and Emily can't wait to be going home "You nearly ready" JJ asks as she walks up behind her "Just give me five" she half smiles as she finishes her last consult of the day "You fancy going out for something to eat?" Emily asks, "Sounds good"


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44**

**Location: Emily's Condo**

**Date & time: 8/2/07 6.45pm**

"So are you going to tell me where we are going?" Emily asked as she walked out the bathroom "No, you will find out when we get there" JJ smirked as she finished getting ready.

"So it's casual?" JJ turned and looked at her "Please tell me you have casual clothes and not all your clothes are over $100?" Emily rolled her eyes as she walked over to the wardrobe pulling out jeans and round neck woollen jumper.

"Yes, well my jumper cost $90 if that's any consolation" Emily joked, JJ shook her head slightly as she let out a slight laugh "Funny" "You asked" Emily teased

An hour later JJ pulled up outside a small Italian which looked more like it had been closed down the dim lights illuminated the doorway Emily frowned slightly "Please Jennifer tell me, is it safe?" Emily asked as they walked towards the rather shabby looking restaurant.

"Really Em, just because it looks like a rundown dump doesn't mean the food is bad" she smirked as she opened the door allowing her to walk in

Emily's eyes widened as she took in the out lay of the building they had walked into, the wall contrasted of small-candled light, which gave enough light to find your way through the small walkways between the tables.

Each table had a small candle, which gave a somewhat romantic feeling; some tables were set in booths with small tables for two. The rest of the seat where spread out into tables of 4 and 6 seating, there were a few people sat eating their meals and you can hear the low mumblings of people talking, it had a warm family feel to the place.

JJ walked over to the small bar "We have a booking for two, is there any chance we can sit at the back" JJ asked the man behind the bar, he smiled softly "Certainly Jennifer would you both like to follow me" as he walked from behind the bar.

"Come here often?" Emily whispered into her ear as they followed him to the back of the restaurant to the booth which Emily was thankful that no one was sitting near "A few times" JJ said as they were seated "Would you ladies like something to drink?" he asked as they booth sat down

"Bottle of red please" JJ replied as Emily cut in "Can I just have a sparkling water please" JJ frowned slightly at her "One of us needs to drive back" she smiled softly as the man handed the menus over and walked back towards the bar.

Emily watched JJ for a moment "Jennifer is everything okay?" she asked as JJ became very silent "Well one I thought it was time for us to have a proper date and I need, I want to talk to you tell you something's and I am a little unsure how to" JJ admitted. "And this well neutral ground I guess" she replied as she fiddled with the edge of the menu.

"Your drinks ladies" he smiled as he placed the drinks on the table before pouring JJ's glass of wine "Are you ready to order?" "Can you give us a few more minutes please?" JJ asked as she looked at Emily "Of course" he smiled before walking back to the bar.

They sat there for a few moments in silence as they looked over the menu, placing the menu down JJ reached across the table as she gently touched Emily's hand "There are things I need to tell you explain before" JJ turned away "We go any further."

"Look at me Jennifer" Emily said softly as she gently squeezed her hand drawing the blonde back to look at her "You can tell me anything" her eyes didn't betray her words as she conveyed all the feelings and love behind them, but JJ could still see the pain there, she nodded a slightly.

Emily signalled for the man to come and take their food order so they would be disturbed aside from when they brought the food over "Ready to order ladies?"

Emily nodded "can I have some Focaccia to start with, followed with duck ragu please" he nodded before turning to JJ "What would you like Jennifer?" he smiled softly "Can I have the Liver Pate followed with carbonara please" before handing the menus back to him he nodded and walked towards the kitchen.

JJ sat across her eyes not focused on Emily but on a spot behind her as she toyed with the necklace around her neck "my childhood was happy, well for most part anyway" JJ sighed slightly.

Emily squeezed her hand "I use to hang around with the girls that I played soccer with" she frowned slightly "we went camping kind of our last adventure as a group" she paused slightly

"there were always rumours around town, you see ten years before a group of girls went missing, they still, well haven't found them" JJ looked down "we set our camp site up near the old farm house" she glanced up at Emily, as she tried to gather her thoughts.

"It was a good evening we joked laughed by the small camp fire we had set up" she swallowed hard as she tried to keep her emotions at bay "a few hours later we were approached by" she shook her head trying to not show her fear

"He was from the town over he spoke to us told us to be safe, and then he left or so we thought" JJ sighed. "We went to bed in our tents a few hours later, I was woken up by someone's hands around my neck."

JJ wiped her eyes, stopping the tears from falling. "He subdued me tied my legs and hands so I was only able to kneel or lay down, before dragging me out side"

They were, interrupted as their food arrived, JJ turned her face as he set the plates down in front of them, and Emily gave a small smile "thank you" she offered before he retreated towards the bar.

Emily stayed quite keeping hold of her hand sad eyes turned and looked at her "Can…I mean…I need to just get my thoughts together" Emily gave a warm smile and nodded "Let's have this and see if you want to carry on" Emily said kindly. JJ nodded as they started to eat in silence.

JJ started to finish as she spoke "he lined us all up outside the tent" she swallowed "the boys that were with us, got knocked out as me and Carly were placed in the back of his pickup."

"Jennifer" Emily said softly she shook her head "I need you to know Emily, please" she nodded as she tightened her fingers around JJ's "Okay"

JJ offered a small weak smile "we were taken to what I can only describe as a barn, he tied" she let out a dry chuckle as she tried to keep her emotions at bay.

"Well to what I can only say was a board but more like a circle as he was able to get to front and back" she stopped again as the man came and took the plates Emily smiled and asked for their main meal to be held back for ten minutes, he smiled in his agreement.

"he whipped us both" she ducked her head down not able to even look at Emily "if it wasn't the whip if was his fists, he told us how unclean we were, and how he was going to cure us" JJ half sobbed from the memory.

Emily ran her hand comforting her along her arm "he, he" she swallowed hard as she closed her eyes. "he raped us both" she turned away in shame "Jennifer look at me please sweetie" Emily asked softly.

JJ turned to look at her there eyes meeting there was nothing but love and compassion in those brown eyes, and a slight bit of anger. "I still don't understand why it happened or why after he in his words cured us, he dumped us both outside the hospital"

JJ let out a have laugh "You know if he hadn't had done that he wouldn't have been caught" Emily gave a soft smile "Please tell me he is rotting in a jail cell" JJ shook her head.

"He was until they found out what he had done, we weren't the first he had tried to cure, he was killed 4 months later." JJ shook her head "Emily I am glad he is dead, I am glad they did what they did to him. But part of me isn't because to this day I don't understand why we lived" JJ admitted

"It wasn't your time and I am glad he did as you put it 'dump' you at the hospital, because it gave us a chance to meet and for you to be in my life" Emily said softly.

The food was brought over just as Emily finished talking JJ looked at him "Thanks Mark" he nodded softly as Emily frowned "Who is he" Emily asked.

"A close friend" was all she could answer with, "Emily" she said unsure as she toyed with her food, Emily smiled and looked at her "Jennifer it doesn't change anything to me, I promise" she said honestly.

After they had finished there, meal Emily had paid much to JJ's protest as they drove back towards Emily's JJ spoke breaking the silence that had settled between them.

"When I saw what he did to you, it reminded me so much of what had happened to me, I know you don't want to talk about it yet and I know their maybe questions you want to ask but for now, can we just go to bed and you hold me?" JJ asked.

Emily reached over gripping her hand "I will always hold you, and I will tell you about Sarah just right now I just need time" Emily admitted as she pulled up outside her condo.


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45**

Sarah reaches for the annoying phone, which was dragging her out of peaceful slumber, picking the phone up she half scowled into the phone.

"This better be a good damn reason you're waking me," she grumbled.

Before she heard the dull tone of her, Mother on the other end "Sarah, she said weakly "I'm sorry."

"Mom, sorry I thought it was someone else" Sarah replied as she fully woke up.

"Mom why you awake at 3am? Where is Jennifer?" her voice conveyed concern as Emily spoke "Can you come home I need you?" Emily asked softly the tears evident in her voice

"I can but talk to me please" Sarah asked as she pulled herself out of bed throwing her jeans on.

"I'm pregnant" Sarah nearly dropped the phone at her Mothers admission "Mom! You are. I mean is it," she stuttered out, her voice sounding a little stronger "Yes to both" as the sob ripped from her chest.

"Mom where are you?" "Home" was all she managed between sobs "Where is Jennifer?" "Sleep in bed" she said weakly "Oh mom" she said softly as she finished getting dressed keeping her mother on the phone while she did.

She stepped out into the hallway "I'll be there soon okay" Sarah said as Emily hung the phone up. Sarah never looked as she spun to walk down the stairs-walking straight into her grandmother "Damn it" she said as she jumped slightly.

Causing Elizabeth to raise her eyebrow at her grandchild "Sarah", she said firmly as she looked into worried eyes "Where are you going at 3am and I am hoping it is not to go and see David or I will be ringing your Mother" she warned.

Sarah shook her head "Mom needs me" she said sadly before turning to walk downstairs. "You need anything or if Emily does ring me please" Sarah nodded her reply as she carried on out the door towards her car.

20 minutes later Sarah was turning her key in the door in the condo, her Mother was stood at the window staring at the capital, her arms wrapped tightly around her waist the silent tears falling her body trembling. Sarah slowly walked up behind her Mother, "Mom" she said softly, as not to startle her too much.

Emily, was frozen to the spot she never registered Sarah at the side of her until she touched her shoulder her hand went automatically to the person's throat causing Sarah to gasp as she gripped her mother's hand.

"MOM" she raised her voice as much as she could pulling Emily's hands away from her neck.

Emily's eyes went wide in shook, fear and then panic took over "Sarah, oh god, I am" Sarah raised her hand slightly "I should have remembered," she admitted with a soft smile.

Emily shook her head slightly "Come and sit down Mom," Sarah said as she took her hand leading her towards the sofa and turning the small lamp on.

"What do I do Sarah" her voice was unsure the tears rolled down her face. It had been a long time since Sarah had seen her mother broken and scared, "What do you want to do" she turned the question back around on her.

Emily sighed as she pulled her legs up towards her chest leaning further back into the sofa "no one knows" Emily admitted looking sadly at her daughter.

"Mom why have, why didn't you, I mean Jennifer wouldn't, she's been her for you every step of the way" Emily nodded as she looked in eyes that reflected herself "shame guilt feeling dirty, she doesn't need" Sarah stopped her "You're not and she does" she answered firmly

"What if its" "Mother give her some credit please," Sarah said with a slight bit of laughter in her voice. "That woman loves you, hell has she even been hope since well" she looked down at her mother's stomach.

"I'm sure she won't run from" Emily nodded as Sarah wrapped her arms around her holding her close and tight.

They both shared a bond and held not many secrets from each other. Only what they needed to keep to themselves.

Jennifer had stirred slightly from her sleep reaching her hand over to where Emily was the part where Emily should have been was empty and cold; her eyes flew open as she looked towards the bathroom seeing no light.

She got up to doubly make sure before heading down the stairs, the worry stretched through her body as the past few times she had woken to no Emily at the side of her, she has found her under a freezing cold shower.

As she reached the bottom of the stair the dull light shone through guiding her towards the living room as she walked in she stopped looking at the two brunettes curled on the sofa Sarah had hold of Emily her fingers running through her hair. Jennifer approached slowly as to not frighten either of them.

"She's asleep" came the soft and low voice "Sarah what's" she shook her head and looked at the blonde and smiled softly

"She rung I came" Sarah replied JJ nodded knowing not to push her, she had learnt in the past few months that they were closer than most and they seemed to need each other, she just hoped that one day Emily would let her in fully.

"Would you like a coffee?" JJ asked as she turned to walk into the kitchen as Sarah replied, "I'd love on" she smiled softly as she looked down at her sleeping mother.

They both sat in the living room watching Emily sleep peacefully in her daughter's arms.


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 46**

**Location: Emily's Condo**

**28/2/07 1.14am**

Being a prisoner to your dreams and to your mind can be worse than the real things it never stops in your dreams or mind there are no breaks it just keep repeating over and over again until your body finally allows you to wake. You can feel it repeatedly sometimes you can even taste it!

In addition, this was where Emily was at, the never-ending dream it feels so real. She screamed begging for it to end.

It ripped JJ from her sleep that screams the one that makes your hairs at the back of your neck stand upon end. She brushed the hair away from Emily's eyes. Emily flinched at the touch trying to move away from "please no please" she begged weakly she tried to curl herself into a ball anything to get away from the pain from the fear

She spoke softly and calm even though she didn't feel it watching someone you love care for be tormented even in their sleep is never easy it is hard.  
"Hey Em your safe"

You want to wake them but you know you can't  
"I'm right here Em, Please wake up!" It was more than a prayer.

Sarah stood in the doorway looking at them both. Watching your Mother go through hell was not something she wanted to watch but she knew it would come

"JJ is everything okay?" Sarah asked keeping her voice low and soft

Emily started to stir slowly. As she woke she mumbled so softly her voice and fear running through her as her voice half screamed "Run Sarah and don't look back. Please".

Sarah's eyes went wide "Shit... Mom you need to wake up" her voice firm as JJ looked at her confused "Mom wake your ass up now" Sarah voice more firm as she walked over "Jennifer move" she warned just as Emily fist flew near her

"Mother" she tried again as she stood at the side of her "If all else fails this always works" Sarah gripped her mother shoulders as she spoke "Mom if you don't wake your fucking ass up I will ring your mother"

Emily eyes opened wide the fear showing in her eyes as she searched her daughters face "Sa...Sa" "Yes that would be me" she gently ran her finger over her cheek "I…I" she felt something move next to her as she began to panic

"Em, it's just me baby" JJ voice wavered slightly as she looked at her "Jen" she frowned as the haze of the nightmare started to lift. Emily's eyes where focused on the one thing, that two people that she knew would not hurt her.

She was soaked with sweat she looked at them both in shame "I need a shower" she said weakly as she ducked her head. JJ's eyes softened as she lifted her chin "let's get you out of them clothes sweetie" "I'll go and turn the shower on, Jennifer can you" she looked at her mom "I'll go and make us all a coffee "Thank you" she smiled at Sarah.

"I feel sick" Emily mumbled as JJ started to remove her clothes "Let's get you warmed up babe" JJ said as she rubbed her back, she leant into her resting her head on her shoulder "What did I do to deserve you" she whispered as she kissed JJ's neck softly,

JJ smiled softly as she kissed her head "Oh I don't know" she kind of jokingly she was rewarded with a worried but honest smile "Thank you" "No need come on shower missy"

She smiled as she finally got her into the shower, as she gently washed her, Emily gained strength from her "Emily what was your dream about?" she asked carefully "basement and just something from my past kind of all mixed up" she said sadly. JJ nodded as she stepped behind her wetting her own clothes "Let's get us both dry Sarah is making us all a coffee" she wrapped her arms around her pulling her close to her allowing Emily relaxed into her.

JJ smiled softly as she helped Emily into a fresh pair on pj's, Emily had gone silent her eyes hid nothing all the walls were down but her pain was raw and she could tell she was working something as they slowly made their way downstairs

Sarah smiled at them both "Mom I made you something to eat" she giggled slightly as she placed the half burnt cheese on toast with Lea and perr sauce on it JJ raised her eyebrow "Comfort food" Sarah replied to the unspoken question.

Emily just nodded as she drew strength again from her daughter "Jen I need to tell you something" JJ watched her as she saw the shame and fear wash over her emotions and the pain in her eyes

"You can tell me anything" JJ let as much love as she could shine through as she gently ran her fingers against her arm as she sat next to her "Sarah" she whisper "Mom it's okay" she reassured her "Jen I'm…well I" Emily fell over the words.

JJ had a feeling where this conversation was going she knew something more had happened in the basement there was one part they could see and wasn't recorded on any feed or tapes.

She waited for a moment before she spoke softly "Emily I am not going anywhere, no matter what I promise" she smiled softly at her "nothing you say will shock me" she looked straight into her eyes seeing the tears well in her chocolate eyes it broke her heart to see so much pain in her.

Emily nodded as she looked away and her words carried around the room so softly "I'm pregnant" she sobbed "I don't know what to do" her eyes pleaded as she looked at JJ "I know" was all she said as she wrapped her arms around Emily pulling her close "How?" Sarah asked

JJ chuckled slightly "I knew something else had happened" she said softly "But the question I have Emily is what do you want to do" Emily just looked at her as the tears fell "I don't know" she admitted "I'm not going anywhere no matter what you choose, Emily I love you" her voice conveyed nothing but love.


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter 47**

Location: BAU

28/2/07 10.30am

She tapped her foot against the floor looking towards the doors as she looked back down at the case file in front of her, turning the page the pictures were like a knife to her soul, her face paled as a hand touched her shoulder, the fear washed over as she automatically reached for her gun "Whoa Emily it's me" Rossi moved back she didn't respond never answered as she rose from her chair heading straight out the door racing towards the toilets. Falling to her knees as the bile rose as she vomited

Rossi looked down at the file "Son of a bitch" the angry in his voice as he picked up the file "Which prick put this on her desk" He growled as he throw the file down the pictures sprawling over the floor. Morgan eyes widened as he saw the picture "I...I… Shit"

Emily vomited again her body sagging against the toilet hearing the click on the door again she flinched for her gun, the ghosts haunting her mind "Emily it's only me" the soft voice spoke as she gently moved the hair out of her face as she vomited again "So..Sorry" she mumbled as her voice shuddered

There on the floor sprawled out for everyone to see Emily naked battered body their hearts went out to her "Dave what's going on" Hotch's voice echoed around the bullpen, his eyes flashed in anger "Some sick bastered gave Emily her own fucking case file, that's what has happened!" with that he walked out of the bullpen leaving a very shocked Hotch "How on earth did that get onto her desk" he asked as both Morgan and Reid answered at the same time "No idea, I thought this" Morgan motioned to the file "Was you know filed far away from us all" Hotch nodded "Where is she" "Bathroom with JJ" he answered weakly.

Hotch turned and headed into his office picking up the phone "Can you ring Sarah please and ask her to come here please" he hung the phone up not waiting for Garcia to answer, she frowned into the phone before she started to dial the number they now had for her "Hi Sarah it's Garcia is there any chance you can come to the BAU?" she asked "Okay I can be there in five I am just around the corner, is everything okay?" she asked the concern evident in her voice. "Not sure Hotch asked me to ring you" "I'll" she stuttered slightly "Just walking through the door where do I go?" she asked "I'll come and get you" she said kindly

Emily sat there shaking everything flooding back the pain the fear the part none of them knew, or saw, she placed her hand over her stomach as the tears fell from her eyes.

As the bile rose in her throat again "Jen...nifer" she stumbled over the words as JJ rubbed her back soothingly "I'm going to ask Hotch if I can take you home... Okay" she said softly as Emily slowly tried to regain her senses, she nodded as words failed her. "You think you can stand and can come back into the bullpen?" Emily nodded "breathe mint?" she asked weakly, JJ smiled "Since you asked so nicely" she replied

"Hey Sarah" Garcia greeted her with a warm smile but the worry in her eyes gave her away "What's going on?" She asked her voice strong just like her Mothers "I'm not sure he didn't tell me" she admitted as she led her into the elevator.

The doors opened as she led her into the bullpen. Morgan's eyes were sad as he looked up seeing Sarah "Hi Sarah" he said sadly she frowned her eyes narrowing dangerously, he knew that look Emily used it enough on unsubs "this way Sarah" Garcia said softly noticing the tension between Morgan and Reid she scowled slightly as he shook his head.

She knocked on the door and walked in not giving him chance to speak as she entered her voice had turned slightly dangerous as she spoke "What the hell is going on and where is my mother" she glared at him, he took at breath before he explained "YOU DID WHAT!" her voice echoed through his room as the team looked up to his office "WHERE THE HELL IS SHE" her temper had gone the second he had told her what had ended up on her desk.

JJ guided a very pale and shaky Emily back into the bullpen walking her into the kitchen just as she heard the familiar voice of her daughter boom through the bullpen "Wh…what is" her legs gave out just as JJ caught her, Morgan rushed over helping to steady her pulling a chair so she was able to sit

"Do you not screen things before you place them on her desk, or is this a sick twisted game" "Sarah I can promise you them files where meant to be locked away so she never saw them" She could see the sadness in his eyes as she mumbled "You're as bad as the CIA, at least you admit when you've fucked up" she said harshly as Hotch frown at her in shook "CIA?" He asked

"Don't you dare ask" she warned just as JJ knocked on the door walking in "Sarah, Hotch, I'm taking her home" she stated before turning to walk out Sarah glared at him "Thank you Jennifer, where is she" Sarah asked softly JJ turned and looked over towards the kitchen "Kitchen" "I am going to request you allow her the rest of the week off "her voice brooked no room for Hotch to even say no "I'll clear it"

Sarah walked over to her mother kneeling in front of her "Mom?" looking into her dull eyes "Oh mom" she said her voice soft and gentle, seeing her mother had shut down "Let's get you home" her finger ran down her cheek as Emily leaned into the touch, she nodded slightly "Jennifer can you get her things so we can go" "Got them" she smile softly

"Em can you stand for me" she asked softly as she wrapped her arm around her waist, they guided her out of the BAU and down into the parking lot opening the car and getting her into the back of the car "Sarah can you drive?" JJ asked her eyes never leaving Emily "Sure" JJ got into the back of the car pulling the silent brunette into her "Sorry" she muttered as JJ kissed her head "Shh, let's get you home" she said softly as Sarah pulled the car out of the parking lot and driving them both home.

Sarah and JJ helped Emily up to her condo "Whiskey or scotch Mom?" "Sc...Whiskey" she muttered as they guided her to the sofa, JJ never leaving her side Emily curled into JJ "don't leave me please" she said weakly "Never" she said firmly as Sarah gave her Mom the glass "You can only have one Mom okay" Emily nodded as she wrapped a protective arm around her stomach "When how" she looked at her daughter "I know you Mom and as for the other Garcia rung me I just got back into town" she smiled softly.


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter 48**

Opening

Location: Emily's Condo

Date: 1/3/07 8.00am

Emily sat staring out the window thinking about what to do she is torn she hasn't got a clue how to tell anyone she feels dirty and tainted by everything she thought she had managed to build her walls back over it and just move on. But inside she is broken and hurting and doesn't know how to ask for help, or how to open up fully.

**Dear Jennifer,**

**I know you say you are there for me and you love me, I fell for you the second I met you and that hasn't changed, I love you as well, I know you have had so much dumped on you in a short period meeting Sarah. She has been my rock; the reason I have never told anyone about her was and is to protect her.**

**she has been through too much she has been hurt too much because of my job and my choices, but I only regret one thing and that was when she got hurt.**

**Jen she nearly died because I went undercover, and no one had my back, please don't get me wrong though, I trust the team, I trust you.**

**But when it comes to her I trust no one and neither does she, but she sees that you make me happy and she can tell you love me, as for what I told you, it is why I haven't been back to the hospital, I feel dirty and tainted and scared and I have only ever been scared once, but now I close my eyes I see the basement, then I see the man that hurt my baby.**

**It has taken me so long to pull her through that, and in the end she pulled me back, I hide behind my walls but I allow you in because I can see you I can feel you and more than anything I trust you.**

**I know I may make no sense but I am so unsure what to do right now, how do I tell Hotch I'm pregnant how do I choose to keep it, a reminder of the pain the hurt, the disgust I feel, I hate myself Jen and all I want to do is run!**

**I want to crawl and hide away. How do I make that feeling go away? How do I let someone catch me because I am falling and I am scared if I fall this time no one will be able to pull me back.**

**I blame myself, I was so confused the last case it ripped me apart you asked once why children get to me so much, it's because I know what it is like to see your child suffer and watch your child be beaten and branded because I couldn't protect her. Forgive me? Please!**

**I wanted into the BAU for so long I worked hard to get where I got, I know many of you thought my Mother pulled strings for me to get into the team, but she didn't have any hand in it, yes she would rather me be in white collar, and that is because she saw the damage that happened to me and Sarah because of my job.**

**If I hadn't gone to the bar that night, if I had asked him to leave me alone, I knew he had a thing for me Jen, but I never thought he was capable of that of this, what kind of profiler does that make me?**

**I should have seen the signs I should have known, I kind of flirted back with him and I have no clue why I did it maybe I dissevered this on some level.**

**Maybe I didn't but, how do I get past this how do I heal and get back to me? I know you don't have the answers maybe I am writing this just so you know that I am standing on the brink and I am unsure and don't know how to get back.**

**I wanted to die! I prayed to die. It hurt so much I never knew your body could sustain so much pain and not give up or do I have something to live for? Can you live with a shell or can you save me? Or I'm I asking too much.**

**I am so lost right now and I know I am rambling but my mind is so jumbled. How can you look at my body and not be repulsed? If I choose to keep this child would and will you still want to stand by me? Will you hold me or do you think I am dirty and tainted like I feel? I don't want to push you away Jennifer.**

**I need you!  
Emily…..**

**Location: BAU**

**Date & Time: 1/3/07 7.30am**

"Jayj?" Garcia looked at her friend her eyes blood shocked and looking like she had just got back from a case with little sleep "Hey Pen" she said sadly not meeting her eyes "Talk to me sweetie" she said as she walked in sitting down on the chair

JJ sighed as she finally looked up at her best friend "I don't know how to help her Pen, how do I make her feel safe? Its Emily she is normally so strong so...Ugh!" She slumped further into the chair as she tried to pull herself together

"You be strong for her and we will be strong for you, give her time JJ, she has been through so much in the past few months, and if I am honest it was only a matter of time before she broke" she offers a weak smile

"she is so open yet she won't talk to me, how can I help if she doesn't talk to me, Garcia she had a bad nightmare last night and if Sarah wasn't there I don't know what I would have done" she leans back as she pinches the bridge of her nose "I just want to wrap her up and take the pain away but I know I can't"

"Give her time and love, and JJ Sarah has had 20 odd years to know how to deal with her, hell she has the same temper I thought she was going to kill Hotch when he told her what had happened I have never seen anyone so angry and yet the second she came over to her mom she calmed right down"

JJ chuckled "Mini Emily" Garcia nodded "Very much a mini Emily, but JJ she loves you and that is what will pull her through" Garcia smiled at her as she stood up "If you need me you know where I am and I think I can speak for everyone when I say you need anything either of you day or night you ring one of us" "thanks Pen" JJ smiled as she walked out.


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter 49**

Mothers & Daughters

Unsure if I have found my so called muse or if my mind has just gone on a break, if any of you find it please send it back to me thank you ;o) and as ever please R&R or you can pm me I don't mind.

Chapter 3

Please R&R

Location: Emily's Condo

Date: 1/3/07 2.05pm

Sarah watched her from the door studying her as she wrote she half smiled as she finally spoke "Mom you ever thought you can let her in?" Emily looked up from the table turning the paper over "What good could that possibly do?"

Sarah sighed as she walked in "You can't punish yourself for the past, you taught me that" Emily smiled not quite meeting her eyes "That would mean me fully telling her about you and" she shook her head "Mom I can tell her about me if that makes it easier, I have seen her with you Mom she loves you, do you not see that?"

Emily half laughed "Telling her everything I could lose her" Sarah rolled her eyes "And you call yourself a profiler?" Emily frowned "What the hell is that supposed to mean"

"It means you are too close to this to see how worried she is, how close you are to the edge, I remember mom I remember everything, I remember you nearly killing yourself through guilt and I will not stand here and allow it" she said firmly

"You are stronger than you think mom, are you going to keep it?" she smiled softly as she asked her "I have no clue, what would you do?" Sarah smiled as she half chuckled "Mom you didn't get rid of me did you, and I don't think you'd be able to get rid of the little one growing inside you" Emily nodded "When you grew up so much"

"Oh somewhere between England, France and here, you have always been here for me, allow her to be there for you" Elizabeth stood in the hall listening to what her two girls were talking about, a tear rolled down her cheek as she walked into the dining area "She is right" she said softly making them both jump "Mother" Emily looked down the shame again running over her

"How long have you been here?" Emily asked carefully "Long enough to know she may have a brother or a sister" "Oh" she offered a weak smile "Emily this was never your fault and I think Jennifer is good for you, you know she never left your side"

"Would you both be okay with me keeping" she stopped looking at her mother and daughter, they both answered her at the same time "Yes" "and we will both stand by you, does Jennifer know?" Emily nodded

"Do you think it would be too fast to ask her to move in" Sarah and Elizabeth both laughed "We thought she already had" she looked at them both wide eyed "You I you did?" "Yes but asking her might be a good idea and also bigger house?" Sarah smirked "Thank you" Emily said softly as she folded the letter up placing it in an envelope.

"So have you girls eaten?" Elizabeth asked as they both shook their heads "Well I think we should all go out and get something to eat"

**Location: BAU**

**Date: 28/2/07 2.15pm**

JJ stayed in her office most of the day unless she needed a coffee, Morgan looked up at her office as he looked at Reid "Doesn't look good does it" Reid looked up from his file to the door then to Morgan "I think it will be" he nodded not fully believing it, his phone vibrated *come to my layer* he chuckled "I'll be back kid" as he got up and headed out.

"Baby girl you wanted me?" he smiled as her leant over her shoulder "So which idiot cause my brown eyed girl distress which she didn't need" Morgan stepped back slightly "I have no idea" "Well someone did, hell looking at the feed she could have pulled her gun on Rossi"

He sighed "But she didn't" he replied, as she spun round hitting his arm "ouch! What was that for" "Not having your partners back! Tell me have you got my back"

He glared at her "That is not fair you know I have hers and your back and I always have had" "Then why aren't you there for her" she looked at him as her words soaked in "Shit... I just... she..." she raised her eyebrow "Your her best friend and partner Derek of course she needs you" she shook her head "You need to let her know you're there for her and take some of the weight off JJ"

He nodded "I will how we going to help JJ though?" "Oh that's simple" he frowned slightly "Let her vent at you and maybe take her out to the ba… a bar" he looked at her "Yeah we need a new hang out" he stated reluctantly.


	50. Chapter 50

**Chapter 50**

**How to carry on**

**Location: Emily's Condo**

**Date: 1/3/07 6.45pm**

JJ finally had arrived at Emily's it had been a long day and she knew it may become longer Emily had been having bad nightmares she was also confused with where things stood between them both, she hoped that she was wrong Emily had pulled away slightly and JJ was waiting for her heart to be broken one way or another.

Slowly she opened the door as her senses were attacked by the smell that emanated from the kitchen, even though it was dark outside the condo was coated in a dim glow of light, she sighed slightly as she walked in fully. "Emily?" she called out softly, she waited for an answer yet nothing came she carefully walked towards the dim light within the kitchen.

There in the kitchen stood Emily lost in her own world as she stirred the pan in front of her, her head nodding to the sound in her ears, JJ chuckled slightly as she walked behind the brunette, carefully she wrapped her arms around her waist, Emily smiled softly as she leaned back into the familiar body that had engulfed her. She rested her head on her shoulder turning slightly to kiss the neck "Jennifer" she husked slightly.

"Hey" JJ whispered, she finally looked around spotting the table candles scattered around the dining area "What's all this Em?" she asked softly "I made dinner" Emily simply stated as she nuzzled into her more. "You are hungry?" she asked her voice wavered slightly as she spoke. JJ nodded against her. "Go get changed babe, you have time for a shower if you want one" Emily said as she moved out of the embrace.

"I won't be long" JJ said as she moved and head out of the kitchen, her shoulders slumped slightly as she walked up stairs, as she entered the bedroom she frowned slightly as she saw an envelope on her pillow with her name on it "Emily" she whispered as she picked it up, her heart sank as she opened the letter her fears playing slightly as she began to read.

The tears rolled down her face as she read the letter her heart reached out to her she trembled slightly "Oh Emily" she muttered as wiped the tears away from her cheek, her heart broke slightly as she read the last bit, she couldn't think of anywhere she would rather be. She slowly placed the letter down as she began to strip out of her work clothes her mind was wrapping around what she had written.

Slowly she stepped into the shower allowing the water to run over her body her finger trailed her legs running over the scars she had, she let out a dry chuckle," how can I be repulsed when I have these" she muttered to herself before stepping out of the shower, wrapping the towel around her as she began to dry herself, before getting dressed and walking back downstairs.

"Feel better?" Emily asked as JJ entered the kitchen "much better" she replied "do you need a hand with anything" JJ asked Emily shook her head slightly before she spoke "I just have to plate it you go and sit at the table Jen" her words came out as more of a hush as JJ made her way to the table taking a seat as Emily brought over two plates "Mmm, looks good" JJ commented as Emily placed the plates down before taking a seat. She smiled softly "thank you"

"Jennifer we well we need to talk" Emily said softly JJ nodded "about?" "about us" Emily stated as she looked uncertainly at JJ, JJ sighed softly part of her worried Emily was going to push her away despite what the letter said "Sarah pointed a few things out to me, and well I was wondering if you'd like to move in permanently, I know you didn't sign up for this" she said as she looked down "But I also know I can't be without you, I can understand though if you say no" Emily said as she keep her eyes down, she hadn't seen JJ get out of her seat and walk around to her, lifting her chin up so that Emily was looking straight into her eyes "First off" JJ said seriously causing Emily shy away slightly "I thought I already had moved in" she said with a slight smile "And secondly I always knew life with you was never going to be dull"

She bent lower as she gently guided Emily's lips to her drawing her into a tender kiss, she broke away still smiling softly as she spoke "And thirdly I can't move in here with you" she looked straight into her eyes as tears started to fill in brown ones "But" she continued "I would gladly move into a bigger house that has a yard with you" she smiled kindly "And Emily we will tell the team everything together, I read your letter and I can promise you that I am not going anywhere other than into your arms and our home and this little one" she said as her fingers ran over Emily's stomach "Will have two loving parents"

Her emotions became too much for her as the tears wrecked her body, JJ pulled her close "I love you Emily and that will never change" with there meal forgotten JJ took her hand "Come with me" she coaxed her slightly, taking a very nervous brunettes hand in hers she helped her stand wrapping her arms around her tightly.

JJ gently blew out the candles before taking Emily's hand again and leading her upstairs, towards their bedroom, Emily hesitated for a moment before JJ reassured her "Your safe Em, I promise" she whispered into her ear as she ran her fingers down Emily's sides catching the outline of her breasts causing the older woman to shiver slightly, JJ tilted her head slightly as she began to kiss along her jawline up towards her lips pulling her into a deep kiss that left them both panting as they broke away.

JJ looked into her eyes which had now darkened with desire as she slowly began to undo the button on her blouse as she gently kissed her neck whispering softly into her ear as her fingers grazed over the new exposed skin, Emily shivered at the touch her blouse dropped to the floor as JJ reached behind her back undoing her bra strap, JJ carefully removed the straps allowing them to fall to the floor as one hand cupped the exposed breast as she began to guide them both back towards the bed.

Her finger gently grazed over her nipple as she spoke "lay down Em" she said softly as her pants dropped to the floor, Emily nodded slightly as she laid down on the bed her body hummed as JJ continued to kiss along her neck before settling on her pulse point causing a slight moan from the brunette as her fingers gently grazed over her nipple as she gently began to roll it between two finger as her lips kissed down her chest her tongue gently running over her skin towards her other breast JJ's lips latched around her nipple as her tongue gently grazed over it as she began to suck softly.

Emily moaned as JJ sucked gently against her breast her fingers twisting the other slightly, she pulled her closer as Emily's finger ran through her hair pulling her closer to her skin, she moaned softly against Emily as she began to kiss back up towards her lips "Jennifer" she husked as she looked into deep blue eyes leaning down as she cover her lips with her own into a deep kiss.

Emily ran her fingers over JJ's back and sides as she began to lift her top over her head breaking them both from the kiss, JJ moaned loudly as Emily cupped her breasts kneading them between her fingers, the fire burned in her stomach as Emily began to twist her nipple causing her to gasp and moan against the brunette as she settled on kissing her pulse point "God Emily yes" she moaned as finger raked against her skin.

JJ arched into her touch as her hips began to move against Emily leg, she could feel the wetness between her panties as she rocked against her thigh, JJ moved up slightly as Emily pulled her upwards gently he lips making their way to her chest, grazing her tongue over her nipple before gently sucking her teeth grazed the taut nipple before soothing it with her tongue. JJ's leg rested against her core as she continued to rock against her, Emily tensed at the touch slightly causing JJ to stop.

"Emily" her eyes met with brown ones which were basked in fear and sorrow "Shh, it's okay" she said softly as she kissed her gently, "I...I...I'm sorry" she muttered as she hid her face into the blondes, JJ ran her fingers through her hair as she spoke softly "It's okay baby, let me hold you tonight" her voice latent with love and understanding


	51. Chapter 51

**Chapter 51**

**Getting there slowly**

**Location: Emily's Condo**

**Date: 2/3/07 6.05am**

It had been months since Emily had slept the whole night without nightmares waking her she slowly stirred from her sleep feeling warm hands around her naked body as she nuzzled closer to JJ not wanting to wake or move from where they were, JJ gently moved her hair away from her face as she gently kissed her neck "Morning Em" she whispered "Mmm morning" Emily smiled as she pulled the blonde closer.

JJ had been watching her for the past two hours lost in her own thoughts for the first time in months Emily looked peaceful, she smiled softly at her "You ready for the day ahead of us" she spoke softly as Emily tensed a little "No" she replied weakly "I won't leave you Emily but we need to tell them, but more importantly we need to tell Hotch" she kissed her forehead as her fingers ran up and down her back "You're too awake" Emily grumbled as she started to fully wake up JJ chuckled as she leaned up "That I am" she smirked down at the brunette.

Emily frowned slightly "How long have you been awake" she asked as JJ moved to get out of bed "Awhile" Emily looked at her studying her face "Hmm how long is awhile?" "Long enough to know you had a peaceful sleep for once" Emily shook her head slightly as she began to move a little too fast causing herself to become dizzy "Emily! You okay?" JJ asked as she saw the change in her "Need to pee" she replied as she tried to get up again, JJ laughed as she watched Emily near enough run into the bathroom.

**Location: BAU**

**Time: 8.25am**

"I hope he is here I kind of want to get this over with" Emily muttered as they both stepped out of the elevator, JJ kept her hand on the small of Emily's back as they began to walk towards the doors "He should be, you'll be fine Em I promise" as they walked into the bullpen, looking up towards Hotch's office for the tell tail signs that he was there.

The dim light lit in his office cast his shadow against the blinds "Here goes nothing I guess" Emily said as they walked up the catwalk knocking on his door "Come in" he called as he looked up from his desk "JJ, Prentiss everything okay?" he asked as a very nervous Emily walked in followed by JJ who closed the door, he motioned for them both to take a seat.

"If you're busy we can come back" Emily muttered as she walked over to the chair "What's going on" he asked softly as he looked at both his agents, "I well we I guess" Emily stumbled over her words not knowing where to start, JJ took hold of her hand and looked at her boss with a soft smile "Just breath" JJ said softly to her as she tried to speak again "I guess I have a slight problem" she frowned thinking this was worse than telling her mother she was pregnant at 15, she looked away from him, "I'm pregnant" she whispered, Hotch only just heard since she spoke so softly "Emily" he said pulling her gaze to him as she swallowed "How" JJ shook her head as tears welled in the brunettes eyes "She is three months along" JJ spoke as she looked at him.

His face was blank for a second as he finally pieced together what JJ had said "Oh Emily" he said softly the emotion he felt for her evident in his voice, she nodded "I'm sorry" she muttered not wanting to look at him "do you need anything?" he asked as he looked between them both, JJ smiled at him "Well two things really" she said as she held Emily's hand in her own "Can, well would you mind telling the rest" he nodded "I will, what's the second" he asked with a slight concerned gaze "Can you help us move once we have found a house?" JJ laughed as she spoke.

He looked between them both for a moment as it finally sunk in what she was really meaning "Of course, I will let the team know it is not optional" he smirked before looking fully at Emily "Emily" he said softly "You know you will have all our support" she nodded in response not fully meeting his gaze as she mumbled "thanks"

They both rose as they exited his office "JJ call everyone in to the conference room once they get in please" JJ nodded as she closed the door behind them, she placed her hand on Emily's arm "Em, you okay" she said softly "I.. Can we tell Garcia before they come in" she said a little unsure.

JJ smiled softly "of course we can" she said as they made their way towards her lair. Knocking gently on her door, JJ opened it "You got a minute Garcia?" JJ asked as she closed the door behind them both, turning round and smiling brightly at them both "For my favourite couple I have more than a minute" she grinned before looking at Emily "Everything okay" she asked, JJ took Emily's hand in hers as she spoke "We need to tell you something Pen" Emily suddenly found the floor a more interesting place to look as she gripped JJ's hand a little tighter wrapping her other hand around her stomach.

"Jayj? What is it" she asked noticing that Emily had become withdrawn, "Emily?" she said softly as she looked at her two best friends, gaining strength from the blonde Emily spoke her voice waving slightly as she did "I. Well I mean I'm.." she paused slightly before the words fell from her lips "pregnant" garcia stirred slightly at them both her mouth slightly ajar as she spoke "When, how" she frowned slightly "Pen" JJ shook her head as she looked at Emily the tears rolling down her face her cheeks reddening in shame "Oh my god" she mumbled "Oh sweetie" her voice convyed worry and support for bout her friends "You need anything, anything at all" JJ smiled softly "Thank you, we are having a meeting soon and you need to be there" she nodded as both of them left her lair.

Emily looked at JJ "You go ahead, I just need to" she looked over to the toilets, JJ nodded "Okay take your time okay" she squeezed her arm slightly to reassure and give comfort before she walked back into the bullpen, looking around she couldn't help but smiled.

Morgan was throwing makeshift aeroplanes at Reid as he was throwing balls of paper into the trashcan his arms coming up in a triumphed cheer as he shouted goal. She rolled her eyes slightly as she approached "Morning JJ" Morgan smiled as she ruffled Reid's hair "You know Hotch will take all your toys if you don't behave" she smirked slightly before she became serious "Where is my princess" Morgan smiled as he looked towards the doors "She won't be long but can you guys come into the conference room in about ten minutes, Has Rossi arrived" Morgan nodded at her request "He's with Hotch" he smiled "thanks" she smiled before walking into her office.

Emily washed her face trying to gather herself together, she wasn't sure if today sucked or not yet, only time will tell she thought to herself, as she tried to settle herself before facing the firing squad, she loved the team but she was worried of what they would think of her, she knew it wasn't rational but she couldn't help it, she sent a text 'What if they hate me?' she hit send as she calmed herself again today was going to suck. Slowly she made her way into the bullpen giving a weak smile at Morgan before turning to make herself a drink her phone vibrated as she looked at the message 'No one is going to hate you baby x' she let out a small smile as she saw Morgan walk towards her.

"Hey princess" he said softly he could always read her moods and he knew when to push and when not to, but looking at his partner today her couldn't work out her mood and that worried him slightly "Hey" she answered softly "We are wanted in the conference room" she nodded "Then why are you still down here" she said with a half-smile "Well I didn't want you taking all the heat for being late" he chuckled as he wrapped his arm over her shoulder "Come on Prentiss, we can get shouted at together" Emily rolled her eyes slightly but followed him all the same.

She knew what was coming and as they both walked into the room Morgan still had his arm around her as they both looked at their boss, he nodded as they both took a seat, it didn't go unnoticed by the rest that Emily had become more withdrawn as she sat down and they were less surprised to see JJ stand behind her with her hands on her shoulder as Emily half relaxed under her touch swallowing hard as she closed her eyes, she just wanted this to be over with, it seemed to drag as they waited for Garcia to arrive.

"What's going on" Morgan asked as he saw Garcia enter, Spence looked around and whispered to JJ "Is someone leaving" she gently ran her finger through his hair, she always felt like she was his big sister, but today she couldn't reassure him of anything she needed to keep it together for Emily, she wasn't sure if they would take the news bad or good.

Emily closed her eyes as Hotch started to speak, "Right first off, No one is leaving" he smiled softly at Reid to ease his worry, they all nodded in response "So what's going on" Morgan asked as he frowned slightly, Hotch only got them all together if they were all going on a case or something worse was coming. He glance at Emily before he spoke again giving her a reassuring smile before he started again.

"As you all know the past three months have been hard and very difficult for us all, more so for Emily and I would like to thank you all on her behalf for the support you have given her" Emily stayed silent as she leaned more into the blonde as she rubbed her shoulders "There are going to be some changes after recent events" he looked at his team as he spoke, Emily shifted slightly in her chair becoming more and more unease, sensing her unease Hotch smiled softly at her "Emily why don't you go wait in my office" she nodded as she started to move out of the room, JJ stayed in the room before walking and standing next to Hotch.

Morgan looked at them both in concern "Hotch what is going on" his voice was unsure as he spoke "In light of these events more information has come to light" he pause for a second, JJ touched his arm slightly as she spoke "This maybe hard and come as a shock to you all and I am hoping that you will all support us, Emily is three months pregnant" She paused as she looked at her friends "That…that means" Morgan couldn't get his words out as he stood up "Morgan!" Hotch warned slightly as he moved towards the door "Don't Hotch" he said as he closed the door behind him walking straight to Hotch's office, his eyes laced with concern as he opened the door looking at his partner.

"Emily" he said softly as her sad worried eyes looked at him, he smiled softly at her as he walked over to her "You could have come to me princess" he said softly as he took hold of her hands "I…didn't know" she swallowed slightly "I will always have your back, your my friend my partner and above anything I love you" he said as he looked straight into her chocolate eyes, she nodded "come on" he said as he pulled her to her feet "We are family and family stick together" he wrapped his arm around her as he guided her back into the room "You know Derek is a great name" he said playfully as she punched his arm softly.

She took her seat as Morgan stood behind her looking at both Hotch and JJ "Why do I feel there is more coming" Emily chuckled slightly as JJ spoke "Well since you have asked" she smirked as she looked at a more relaxed Emily "We are going to need your help in moving" she laughed as Hotch spoke "And it is not optional" He stared at his team in all seriousness, Reid spoke slightly unsure of what to say "Do we congratulate you? Normally when people" "Reid!" they all said at once silencing the young genius, Emily laughed slightly as she looked at him and nodded


	52. Chapter 52

**Chapter 52**

**A small step**

**Location: Emily's Condo**

**Date: 28/3/07 5.33am**

Luckily the team had been given some time off since they had, had nothing but back to back cases for the past few weeks Emily began to tier more JJ had become more worried that Emily wasn't fully slowing down or hadn't fully taken herself out of the field which had become something or a disagreement with them all, Hotch had finally put his foot down and told her she had to stay in the office and help JJ or Reid, no more time in the field unless they were interviewing.

This was a week they had been waiting for, today they would find out the sex of the baby, they had also planned a few viewing of different houses after Garcia and Morgan had ganged up on them, they were due for an early start, the appointment for her scan was at 8.45am then they were meeting Sarah for breakfast before heading to meet Garcia and Morgan, but morning sickness was not part of the plan.

Emily had been pulled out her sleep with a half cough as her stomach churned as she half ran towards the bathroom she never had chance to grab her gown or reach the toilet before the sickness started her head lulled against the cool porcelain bowl as her body sagged against the cold surface of the floor as she mumbled to herself "no more not sleeping without clothes" she grumbled to herself as the coldness attacked her skin.

Emily groaned slightly as she rested her head over the toilet as she began to vomit again, she rubbed her stomach slightly as she tried to settle the sickness down, JJ stirred from her sleep as she moved her hand over to where Emily should be, the covers were cold as she moved more before the noise disturbed her thoughts more "Shit" she mumbled as she struggled to free herself from the covers,

She winced as she glanced at the clock before walking towards the bathroom, "Emily" she whispered softly as to not startle her, Emily groaned in response, JJ shook her head as she walked over to her rubbing her back gently, she mumbled "morning" JJ shook her head slightly "let me run you a bath" JJ said as she turned the taps on "you must be freezing" JJ muttered as she continued to rub her back.

Emily nodded "Not how I wanted my morning to start" she grumbled, JJ chuckled slightly as she pressed her lips on the back of her head "Not a good look either baby" she responded as she pulled her hair back out of her face noting that she hadn't fully managed to make it to the toilet in time.

But today of all days she wished that the morning sickness would relent or at least start at a decent hour, Emily leaned back slightly into JJ's body as the bath had finished filled, "let's get you cleaned up sweetie" she whispered into her ear as she helped her off the floor, Emily turned slightly as she wrapped her arms around JJ's body resting against her shoulder "Didn't mean to wake you" she muttered as JJ carried on rubbing her back soothingly "You didn't, but really Em, you need a bath" she smirked as she kissed her forehead

"Is that your way of telling me I stink" Emily grumbled as she stepped into the warm bath "In a sense yes" JJ teased, Emily shivered slightly as the heat met her cold skin, "What time are they coming round" she groaned "I think around 10, but Sarah will met us here for breakfast" JJ said as she started running the cloth over Emily's body.

It had been three months since she was attacked and Emily still hadn't been able to fully look at herself, she had caught the odd glimpse in the mirror but she still shied away, yet she allowed JJ to look at her, she still felt shame but JJ made her feel loved and beautiful even though she didn't feel it herself, well not yet anyway.

She leaned into the touch as JJ started to wash her hair, she flinched slightly as she looked into blue eyes, the sadness was still there but not as much as before and despite things Emily was getting back to her somewhat normal self. "Jennifer" she whispered as she moved back into her touch "Yes sweetie" JJ smiled she was use to this every now and again Emily would flinch or become a little skittish but it was happening less and less,

The nightmares were slowly fading and only seemed to appear if they had a case that hit a little close to home for her, but the words that came next JJ was not fully ready for. "I'm ready" Emily whispered softly as she gazed into her eyes feeling the warmth and love within them, JJ frowned slightly before the smile took over "Are you sure Em" she asked hoping that Emily wasn't pushing herself too fast, she nodded against her hand which was rested on her cheek brushing softly against her skin

"Let's get you out of the bath then baby" she spoke softly as she helped her up wrapping the warmed towel around her body, they both walked into the bedroom as Emily walked over to the full lengthen mirror she turned and looked at JJ "Jennifer" she mumbled trying to keep her composer, JJ smiled as she walked behind her wrapping her arms around her waist "I'm here sweetie" she smiled softly as Emily leaned into her fully.

JJ gently gripped the top of the towel keeping hold of Emily's gaze through the mirror she whispered softly in her ear "You're sure babe" Emily nodded against her keeping the gaze as JJ gently removed the towel running her fingers down her sides as Emily stared into the mirror taking an unsteady breath she let her eyes wander, her breasts were marred with criss-cross lines where the whip had sliced her skin, they were still red even though they had healed, JJ gently traced her finger along each scar on her chest a tear ran down her cheek as her fingers reached to her core, JJ stilled her fingers pulling them away as she held her gaze again "Shh, it's okay" she soothed as Emily let out a shuddered breath,

She knew she would need surgery to correct all the damage done to her core she leaned fully into the blonde hiding her face, JJ ran her fingers gently through her hair "You are beautiful Emily" she said softly as she laid a soft kiss on her temple.


	53. Chapter 53

**Chapter 53**

**The Appointment**

**Location: Gynaecologist Appointment**

**Date: 28/3/07 8.38am**

Emily sat in the waiting area her hand clasped tightly with JJ's as her foot tapped nervously on the floor, JJ had tried to still her movements and reassure her that everything would be okay, but as she had learnt over the past few months Emily never believed things would go smoothly, not just because of what had happened to her but mainly due to her upbringing and work,

"Emily please" JJ tried again the Constance tapping on the floor was slowly driving the blonde insane, Emily looked into blue eyes as she tried to still her movements "I'm sorry, I... well what if" she was cut short by a now very impatient blonde "Will you just stop, before you have me checking myself into the mental ward" she glared at her.

"Please tell me you wasn't like this when you was pregnant with Sarah or god help me" JJ mumbled to a now very still quite brunette, JJ looked at her with wide eyes "Oh god, you was wasn't you!" JJ said slightly gobsmacked as she ran her hand through her hair. Emily looked at her slightly a soft smile escaped her lips as she finally replied "Will it make you feel better if I said I was worse" she half chuckled.

She remembered the first time all to clearly, she sat with her mother in the small waiting room as people stare at her she was uncomfortable and it didn't help that her mother's disapproving gaze was fixed intently on her, she knew she has hurt her mother but in trying to fit in with the local boys she had found two friends Matthew and John, both from the states and both in the diplomatic core, they understood what her life was like and they quickly became friends.

JJ shook her head "Why am I not surprised by that" she chuckled as it dawned on her "You was with your Mother wasn't you" she tried her best to hold back a smirk as the image of the brunette being carted into the office and awaiting for someone to come and check on her and the baby.

"Yes she was and please stop smirking, it so was not the most pleasantest of experiences and back then me and my mother didn't really see eye to eye" she smiled softly as she carried on slowly relaxing "I was rebelling against everything and more so against politics" Emily sniggered "And yes my Mother disapproved greatly I was an embarrassment to her back then but when she held Sarah, it changed everything, she turned into a doting grandmother and mother, to say it was strange was an understatement" Emily sighed slightly as she was pulled out of her memories by the nurse calling her name

"Ms Prentiss?" the young nurse stood looking at the two women, as they both rose Emily keeping hold of JJ's hand as they walked into the room "If you would like to lay on the table and relax for a few moments while I go and get your Doctor" she smiled brightly as she exited the room through another door, Emily rolled her eyes as she got onto the bed laying back, looking to JJ "Jennifer" she said softly "it may sound bad but I hope it's a girl" she said somewhat sadly as she looked into understanding blue eyes "I know sweetie, but no matter what we will love her or him" as she spoke she ran her finger softly against her cheek trying to convey as much support as she could.

The slightly tapping on the door pulled them both out of their own thoughts as an older lady walked into the room "Good morning ladies" she greeted brightly "Morning" they replied in unison, her soft gaze landed on Emily as a small smile emanated from her lips "First things first so you feel more comfortable, my name is Dr Young, I have been asked to take over your care, since it was felt you would feel more comfortable with a female" she smiled warmly, Emily smiled at her "Thank you" she said softly the thought of a male touching her still made her cringe on the inside.

"It also may be easier if you was to be in a gown as I need to be able to see if you can have a natural birth or if it will be easier for you to have a C-section" she waited for the information to sink in to the brunette before she continued "I have spoken to Dr Grant and he has informed me of" JJ interrupted before she unsettled Emily more then she already was; the death grip that Emily had on her hand was a sure sign to how uncomfortable she was with this conversation.

"if you would give us a moment so Emily can put a gown on" JJ said softly her voice steady and strong as she looked at Emily "Of course" she smiled as she turned to leave the room to give them both some privacy "Jennifer I can't" Emily shook her head suddenly very uncomfortable with the thought of someone looking at her core.

"Can we just tell her a C-section would be for the best" Her eyes pleaded with the blonde, but JJ shook her head "Emily no one is going to judge you and you have nothing to be ashamed of and she needs to" JJ sighed softly "For me" she held the brunettes eyes in her own as she ran her fingers softly down her arm to steady her.

"I will be here I am not going anywhere baby" she murmured lovingly in her ear she slowly reached for the green and white gown that was resting on the chair. Emily reluntaly swung her legs over the table as she stood letting her pants slide to the ground placing the gown over her she laid back down onto the table as they waited for the Doctor to come back.

The soft tap on the door told them she had returned as JJ's soft voice filled the room "Come in" the door open as the Doctor walked in a soft smile on her face as she closed the door behind her "I know this maybe uncomfortable for you Ms Prentiss" Emily cut her off "Please call me Emily" she requested as she gripped the blondes hand "try and relax" she said softly.

"Can you bend your knees for me" she asked softly as she noticed Emily had closed her eyes leaning into the blonde more, her heart went out to these two, she had read the file which Dr Grant had given her and knew the injury's which she had injured, she placed the gloves on her hands as she lifted the gown slightly to give better access to her gently she covered Emily's lower body back up as she smiled softly at the blonde "C-section maybe the way to go" she said to them both "Emily if you want when you have the C-section and we could correct the damage to make it more comfortable" she pause as Emily opened her eyes looking at her sadly "I'd appreciate that" she admitted.

"Well you have a think about it, you do not have to come to a decision today but it is an option" She replied softly "Right shall we see how the little one is and if I am able to depending on what position the baby is in you might be able to find out the sex if you would like" both Emily and JJ responded together "we would like that" they both smiled as the Doctor lowered the gown down exposing her stomach.

Emily flinched slightly as the Doctors eyes looked at her scared body closing her eyes again as she rested her cheek against JJ's hand which was lovingly stroking her fears away "Right Emily this will feel cold on your skin" she smiled warmly at her as she placed the gel in her stomach, Emily's muscle's contracted under the coldness of the gel letting her body get use to the unfamiliar sense as the doctor started the scan, a soft beating could be heard from the machine as Emily turned her face looking at the grainy screen "Is that" Emily muttered

The doctor looked at her smiling "That would be a very strong heartbeat, must take after you" she smiled as JJ smirked "God I hope it doesn't have your stubbornness" Emily rolled her eyes slightly as she fixated herself watching the screen in front of her "Are you able to tell" she asked as she watched the small thing inside her shift slightly. The Doctor smiled softly at them both "I think this is a stubborn one doesn't seem to want to move"


	54. Chapter 54

**Chapter 54**

**A change**

**Location: Emily's Condo**

**Date: 28/3/07 9.45am**

Sarah sat in the quite of her mother's home looking through the broacher's that were scattered over the kitchenette, she chuckled to herself as she mulled through them "Must be JJ's choice" she mused as she looked at the small brownstones she shook her head slightly as she pulled another booklet out of her bag which she had picked to look through, they were new properties, had large gardens and double garages, she knew JJ might have felt uncomfortable either that or she really didn't know the full extent of her mother estate.

The key rattling in the door disturbed her from her thoughts as she turned to switch the coffee machine on to make them both a coffee, no matter how different they were one thing they all shared was their love of coffee, the door slammed behind them as they made their way into the kitchen Emily smiled at Sarah who returned the smile as she placed three cups down on the table "Hey Mom, JJ how did it go" Emily smiled softly the baby is healthy she grinned as JJ picked up the cup smelling the aroma that came from the coffee "Thanks Sarah" she grinned.

"Okay can you both put me out of my suspense please and just tell me instead of sitting there drinking the bloody coffee" Sarah gripped at them both causing JJ to laugh as Emily's hand swatted Sarah's arm "What would you like to know" Emily teased slightly as Sarah rolled her eyes and half pouted "Boy, girl, hermaphrodite?" she grumbled as both women bust into fits of laughter "Hermaphrodite? Really Sarah" Emily rolled her eyes as she chuckled; "Of all the things to say" she shook her head as JJ tried to control herself.

"Your just not going to say, are you?" Sarah mused at them both "After I have finished this lovely coffee and Jennifer has controlled herself" Emily smirked JJ sat there chuckling away never had she thought Sarah would come out with that "That just, well tickled me" JJ said as she was trying to calm herself down wiping the tear which was rolling down her cheek away, slowly she breathed through her musings as she fully got control or her laughter.

"Sorry" JJ said still smiling at the thought she shook the thoughts from her mind as she took a sip of the coffee a slight moan leaving her lips "Where on earth did you find this coffee Em?" JJ asked as the rich flavours attacked her senses "I swear it is on the lines of them truffles" she grinned, Emily smirked "Now if you were to know that we would have to kill you" she teased as JJ scowled at them both "That is not fair" she grumbled.

Emily slowly placed the empty cup on the table before looking seriously at her daughter she sighed as a small grin emanated from her lips "So you'd really like to know?" she asked as Sarah groaned at her "Yes, I asked didn't I" she frowned at her slightly, JJ shook her head these two were so alike it was uncanny "Sarah you may want to stay seated" JJ advised as she took Emily's hand in her own "Well you're going to be a sister" Emily paused as Sarah scowled more at her mother "Damn it will you just tell me for Christ sake" she half shouted "Sarah" Emily warned as she added "I hope your sister and brother do not take after you"

Sarah gaped at her mother "As in two! As in, twins? As in oh my god" Sarah fired out the statements in quick succession to her mother "twins" she whispered again Emily shook her head softly at Sarah "I can see that school of yours is worth every penny" Emily mumbled to herself, JJ chuckled "Yes that's exactly what we said" as Emily smiled softly at her daughter

Sarah stared at both women still slightly taken aback with the news 'two, two babies' she thought to herself as she tried to wrap her mind around the new information that she had come across "So you really need a bigger place" she grinned at them both, Emily rolled her eyes slightly as she looked at Sarah "Calm down Sarah" Emily chuckled "Really maybe we should have sent you to finishing school" she mocked, this in turn caused Sarah to turn on her heels to glare at her mother "No way in hell" she nearly shouted back as Emily laughed.

JJ walked over to the fridge leaving Emily and a still shocked Sarah to their own musing as she started to get the food together for their breakfast which had now slowly turned into brunch.

"Mom I've been thinking" Sarah said softly "I hope you don't mind but I picked up these broacher's for you both to look at and now seeing as you really do need a bigger home well" Sarah trailed off as she handed Emily the broacher's, JJ gasped as she looked over Emily's shoulder "We can't afford somewhere like that" she whispered as she looked at the front cover.

Sarah let out a startled laugh as she nudged her mother "You not told her yet have you" Emily pulled herself out of her thoughts "Huh?" "And you say I need finishing school" Sarah joked "Oh, well no I haven't because it has never come up in conversation" Emily said as she looked at a now slightly anxious JJ "Jennifer, just have a look through and see what you like and we can take it from there" she paused slightly "Just keep it away from Garcia" she teased as JJ skimmed through the glossy pages "Why are there no prices?" JJ questioned as she looked through the pages

Emily laughed slightly "So people will enquire more and they will be more likely to buy" she shrugged as she spoke "That is not really an answer Em" JJ muttered "Let's just say they are way over $200.00 and leave it at that" Emily smirked "We will talk later about it okay" Emily smiled softly "So what we having to eat" Sarah asked looking at JJ "Well I was thinking maybe a salad since it is now 10am and Morgan and Garcia will be around shortly" both Sarah and Emily nodded as they started looking through the pages.

"Jennifer would you rather live in a gated community or not?" she asked slightly distracted as she looked at a beautiful picture. The house was large 5 bedrooms with an annex attached, two double garages a pool and very spacious garden, three rooms downstairs and a beautiful large kitchen, JJ looked over Emily's shoulder as she placed the food in front of her "Wow!" she murmured as she took the seat next to her "Emily that must cost a fortune" she said in a hushed voice

Emily shrugged "Maybe but would be worth it, should we see if we can book a viewing today and all five of us can go and look" Sarah interrupted slightly "Mom I have to go out of town this afternoon so I won't be able to come with you" she smiled softly as she started to eat. "Oh okay" Emily replied her mind was in other places right now as she slowly turned the pages.

JJ looked through the pages and found a few more houses she would like to look at but she had also pointed out she didn't want to be spending a small fortune on a house which Emily disagreed with "You two sound like an old married couple" Sarah joked as they argued over where they would like to live "I…Well.." Emily struggled to get her words out as she stared at Sarah before looking at a now blushing blonde "Please ignore my daughter some days she forgets she is an adult not a teenager" she scowled at her slightly 'Sorry' Sarah mouthed sensing her mother was slightly annoyed with her.

After a few phone calls they had viewing set up for the afternoon to view four properties. They sat there in comfortable silence as they waited for Morgan and Garcia to arrive.

Emily had lost herself in thoughts, as the silence washed over them

'**A change is sometimes good, it means you are able to either put demons to bed or simply move past them. Even learn to live with and through the scars, but sometimes it comes at a cost or not depending on what circumstances are drawn your way!**

**There is that saying out with the old in with the new. But this was it really in her eyes.**

**Emily Prentiss was no longer the person she was. She was different and she felt it she knew it, but some part of her liked this new person the other side hated it.**

**She had become skittish around people if they came to close or if a touch was unwelcomed or the touch came out of the blue, she would flinch away.**

**The nightmares no longer plagued her like they had for the first few months sometimes though they came back and the shame and fear would engulf her mind.**

**She knew the best thing that had come out of it all was Jennifer after years of trying to hide her feelings she had finally admitted to her, though it had been through a third person or persons, which she didn't mind she knew her mother and friends meant well.**

**But this right here, right now, was what mattered and maybe just maybe she would be able to ask the question she had been planning for the past month to ask, part of her thought it was too soon, but her heart ruled her head for once.**

**Hopefully I will get my answer tonight' she thought to herself.**


	55. Chapter 55

**Chapter 55**

**Location: Emily's Condo**

**Date: 28/3/07 11.15am**

A slight knock on the door pulled Emily out of her thoughts as she went to stand to get it, but JJ had managed to beat her too it, the enthusiastic voice of Garcia could be heard all through the condo as Sarah muttered slightly before the two came in to the kitchen "She always this loud Mom?" Emily laughed "Sometimes, but mention shopping or going out for the night she is worse" she replied.

"Hey princess" Morgan greeted as he walked into the kitchen followed by a now whispering JJ and Garcia "Hey yourself" Emily smiled "Emily" Garcia said brightly as she looked at her "Hi Sarah" "Hey too you both" Sarah said as she moved the dishes from the table. "Mom, I am going to get going, I will see you tomorrow" she smiled as she kissed her mother on her cheek "Don't get arrested or anything worse" Emily joked Sarah waved her hand as she walked out of the door.

"You guys want a coffee?" JJ asked as they sat down "please" they both answered, so where are we going to start looking" Morgan asked as he looked at all the books spread across the table "Well we have a few viewing's this afternoon then maybe we could all go out for dinner?" Emily said smiling softly. Garcia clasped her hands together as she started looking through them "Wow Emily some of these are just beautiful" she beamed as she picked up the ones that Sarah had dropped off.

JJ finished making the drinks as she handed Emily a ginger ale smirking as the brunette looked at her "Thanks" as she ran her hand over the small bump that was now showing, "How are you doing Emily" Morgan asked as he watched her with concern "I'm good just been a very long morning" she smiled as she sipped her drink.

Soon they were bundled into Emily's SUV driving towards the gated community, there were more good points to the houses here they were far enough out on the outskirts but also closer to work if they were late or they came late back from a case.

"Emily you sure you know where you're going" Garcia asked as they pulled up to the security office to let them through "Yes I do" she mused the drive had been quite for most part aside for Morgan and Garcia talking in the back, JJ rested her hand on Emily's leg her fingers tracing patterns over her pants, the brunette stilled her fingers before looking at her "Jennifer" she smiled softly at her "Please can you" JJ blushed as she realised what she was doing to the brunette "Sorry" she chuckled stilling her fingers against her leg.

They pulled into the driveway of the first house and was greeted by the estate agent "Emily, it is so good to see you" she beamed as she shook her hand, looking at the three other people standing by the car, Morgan let out a small whistle as he eyed up the outside of the property "This looks really nice" he muttered to himself.

"Shall we go inside" Rachel said as she lead them towards the front door and opening it for them to enter "Thanks they all muttered as they walked in JJ's jaw dropped slightly she gasped loudly "Emily" she whispered as she gripped hold of her arm. "Would you like me to show you around or would you like to look yourselves?" she asked "Do you mind if we look ourselves please" Emily replied before taking hold of JJ's hand.

Garcia and JJ were speechless as they walked into one of the rooms. It was big and spacious with a lovely view of the front garden; it had an open fire in the middle of the far wall that had bookshelves at either side, "Have these ever been lived in?" Garcia asked "I don't think so" JJ muttered as they walked into the second room, which was slightly larger, there was enough room to get a nice dining table in and still they'd have plenty of room it was set just to the side of the kitchen, the kitchen was very big and fully of the latest gizmos a six ringed gas stove two ovens were built in to the units which also used a grill, it had a larger island in the middle and a rack hanging down for all the utensils to go on which meant more cupboard space the door to the side opened up to another room that looked out to the back garden, it consisted of double doors and two more full windows, this room also housed a fire though it was more concealed than the front room.

Emily walked behind JJ wrapping her arms around her waist "Shall we take a look upstairs" she whispered in her ear as she placed a kiss on her cheek, JJ could only nod in response as Emily guided them all upstairs, the master bedroom came with an en-suite that had a bath and shower cubicle and plenty of room, the bedroom had four built in wardrobes and could easily fit a four poster bed in, as they left the room they looked into the other four rooms, all were spacious and light and one that could be used as a guest room, as they headed back down the stairs to meet Rachel, who was sat in the kitchen Emily spoke softly "Can I see the annexe?" Rachel nodded and guided them all to the side door which looked more like it could be a cupboard, the annexe itself was minimal but enough room for two people, and it consisted of two bedrooms a kitchen a small dining area and a nice spacious lounge.

"Emily there is a small surprise for you if you all want to follow me back downstairs" Rachel smiled as she took them all through to the garage opening the single door which lead down into a basement "You guys have a look I'll wait up here" Emily said as she looked down at the stairwell leading to the basement, JJ looked at her for a moment "Em, you okay" Emily smiled softly though the smile didn't reach her eyes as she whispered "Too soon" JJ nodded understanding why Emily would rather not go down the three of them followed Rachel down, it was very cool in there and along the walls and down the middle housed wine racks with enough room to store 100's of bottles "It is tempered controlled down here and runs off a separate supply source" she commented as Morgan eyes bugged nearly out of his head "Wow, I know where I'll be staying now" he grinned causing Garcia to slap his arm "Ouch! What was that for" she just glared at him slightly before they all headed back upstairs.

"Well princess that will keep your wine very much cool and safe" he smirked "Is there room for beer as well?" Emily asked as JJ nodded, "Shall we have a look outside?" Emily asked JJ nodded as they all headed out into the garden, the back garden was spacious with a heated pool "Morgan would you be able to put railings around that?" Emily asked Morgan smirked "Of course I can" he said with a wink causing Emily to roll her eyes "I forgot you're male and macho" she joked.

"Emily two of the other houses you have asked to view are the same layout as this really so would you rather just look at the last one?" Rachel asked "Just let me ask Jennifer" she smiled before walking over to JJ "Jennifer the other two are like this so if you like we can just go and look at one more and then go for food" she smiled softly as her stomach growled making itself known to all. "That maybe a very good idea can't have you going hungry" JJ smirked.

They finally pulled up outside the final house they were going to look at, it was very much the same as that other but the one difference to it which had JJ grinning like mad, to the side of the master bedroom was a locked door as they entered it housed an office with enough room for them both to work and also keep the files safe as well as two tables "Emily this is just" Emily laughed "let's look at the bathroom" she smirked knowing that this may sell her the house more, the house was much larger than the others and had three bathrooms but the one in the master bedroom had a special added feature a Jacuzzi, JJ's eyes went wide as she looked at it "Emily" she whispered slightly breathless "This is beautiful, but" she trailed off slightly "Jennifer if you want we can think about it we don't have to say yes right now or anything and there are also things you need to know okay" she smiled softly "but right here isn't the time or place we will talk about it tonight" JJ nodded, though she had to admit she had fallen in love with this house and could already see them living somewhere like this.

"Rachel we will think over these tonight and hopefully I will be able to give you an answer tomorrow" she smiled "That is fine Emily, tell your mother I said hello won't you" "Of course" she replied as they headed back outside towards the car.

"So where we going to eat" Morgan asked from the back seat "Well I really feel like grilled cheese" Emily smirked "But we can always find a Chinese or a grill house" her hand rested on JJ's leg tracing pattern like what JJ had done when they were on their way to the house viewing "Em please" JJ half whimpered as she took hold of her fingers "Sorry" though she didn't move her hand she kept her fingers still as they all finally decided on the grill house.

They drifted into the early evening laughing and joking over the meal, JJ yawned slightly resting her head on Emily's shoulder Emily ran her finger through the blondes hair "I think we should get this one home" Emily teased to the very sleepy blonde at her side as she waved the waiter over so they could pay "My treat guys" Emily said as they started to pull their money out "Oh I'm house hunting with you more often if I get fed" he grinned.

JJ dozed in the car as they pulled outside the condo Emily turned to Morgan not fully wanting to disturb the sleeping blonde "Can you give me a hand getting her inside please" she smiled softly. Morgan half carried JJ into the house, helping her on to the sofa she mumbled her thanks as she settled on the sofa. Emily let them both out thanking them for coming with them as she walked back in locking the door behind her she kneeled down next to JJ slowly coxing her to wake so they could go upstairs.


	56. Chapter 56

**Chapter 56**

**Location: Emily's Condo**

**Date: 29/3/07 3.15am**

JJ moaned softly her body tingling from the dream she was in she snuggled more into the warmth that laid next to her, as she relaxed more into the dream opening her legs more to the fingers that were trailing her skin, she sighed softly through another moan her body becoming more alive.

Emily let out a quite giggle as she toyed with the blondes nipple gently rolling it between her fingers as her over hand traced over her pubic bone her lips were around her other nipple sucking softly as the blonde moaned under her, she felt JJ cuddle closer to her and her legs open more, she was taken aback with the warmth she felt emanating from her, in slow movements she let her fingers trail through the blondes folds, feeling the wetness that was already there.

JJ moaned again as she whispered her name "Emily, mmm" her hips moved slightly, Emily chuckled against her breast as she ran her tongue over a very taut nipple before gently nipping it between her teeth, as her fingers ghosted through her folds she began to trace soft kisses across her chest dragging her tongue down towards her stomach dipping it gently and circling it around the entrance of her naval, JJ moaned loudly now her muscle's twitched in her stomach.

Emily never stopped and for JJ's part she was still in her lovely dream, the one that had been going on for the past month, Emily feathered the kisses as well as using her tongue as she moved down towards her goal, JJ reached over to hold Emily and pull her closer but her fingers meet empty sheets, as Emily blew cool air over her core before her tongue feathered over her folds teasingly, JJ moaned louder this time as her mind came out of the blissful sleep it was in, her body highly attuned and aroused as her hand searched for Emily just as she felt a tongue run up the full length of her core, Emily smiled and moan as she breathed in the smell of her arousal gently coxing her clit from the hood as her tongue ghosted over it before gently taking it between her lips.

JJ gasped her fingers tangling in the brunettes causing her to look up which intern caused her to moan before settling back between her legs, JJ was flushed with arousal as she moaned loudly she realised just how close she was to her climax "Yes, Emily, yes" she almost chanted as Emily dipped her tongue into her core, before returning back to sucking and nipping on her clitorises, slowly and gently Emily ran her finger through her folds her mouth never breaking contact she eased two fingers in to her centre as she gently pushed her in to her climax.

She waited for the waves of her climax to settle as she removed her fingers JJ moaned softly at the loss of contact as Emily trailed kisses up towards her lips pulling her into a passionate kiss running her tongue along JJ's lower lip to be allowed entry which JJ was all too willing to give, Emily moaned into her mouth as the JJ moan tasting herself on Emily, gently she pulled away when the need for air became too much for them she smiled softly into swirling blue eyes "Mmm hey" Emily whispered. JJ still reeling from the climax that had taken over her senses smiled lovingly at her "Wow" was all she managed as she moved closer to Emily's body.

After a few moments silence the words came out as she moved closer into her arms "Emily, I love you" she whispered "I love you too" Emily grinned as she placed a kiss to her temple before pulling away slightly "Where, what" JJ mumbled as she felt her pull away "Need to pee" Emily half groaned as she moved from the bed hearing JJ giggle as she walked into the bathroom.

JJ had turned the bedroom lamp on by the time Emily had returned looking at her with doting eyes "Not that I am complaining but" Emily raised her hand "You started it, I just finished it" she smirked as she climbed back into the bed "Oh sorry" she blushed "Never be sorry and never say sorry for that" she chuckled as she pulled her closer switching the lamp off so they could get a few more hours sleep.

**Date: 29/3/07 6.45am**

JJ nuzzled closer as they both began to stir from there slumber "Morning beautiful" Emily said as JJ opened her eyes wiping away the sleep, "Mmm morning" Emily chuckled slightly taking in a full look at the woman she loved "Sleep well" Emily mused causing JJ to laugh "I had the best dream, but someone woke me up" she teased back as she leant in to kiss her softly "I'll remind you of that" Emily teased back as she pulled out of the kiss.

"I guess we should get up" Emily almost groaned she had woken back up hungry and very thirsty and yet again she felt like her bladder was going to bust as she lifted the covers to go to the bathroom, JJ lied there for a moment with a silly grin on her face as Emily watched from the doorway before walking back in "You look like the cat that got the cream" she mused "Mmm" JJ replied her mind still on their early morning actives "Just thinking about last night" she said softly "Oh did I miss something?" Emily teased which caused JJ to roll her eyes "Too early Prentiss I really need coffee before your wit gets too much for me" JJ said playfully as she finally climb out of the covers and headed straight for the bathroom

Emily poured them both a coffee as they sat at the breakfast bar "Em, how are we, well I mean, that house was, but" JJ couldn't seem to get her words out, Emily laughed softly "For someone who uses words for a living you can't seem to convey any this morning" she teased "seriously Em, that house has got to be" Emily shook her head it was still too early in the morning but she knew she would have to tell her sooner or later.

"Jennifer we can afford it" she started as JJ shook her head "How though I know how much you get paid and well it isn't that great" she said looking into deep chocolate eyes, Emily smiled "Just give me a second" Emily said as she got up walking over to the safe that was in the front room, pulling out a box that had all her finances in she brought it over to the table placing it down between them.

"I guess this is where you find everything out" she mused as she looked JJ "Right first off, please do not let this scare you in anyway and please put your cup down" Emily said waiting for JJ to place her coffee cup down on the table, "Jennifer we can afford the house so please stop worrying if you like it we can go and sign or even pay for it today though I am sure it will take a few weeks to go through" Emily smirked. "As for this it's only money or building" she handed over a file which were for her restaurant, a vineyard and coffee plantation she also owned "Emily you own these?" Emily nodded "Also a villa in France a cottage in England and not forgetting this building" Emily smiled as JJ' looked at her with an opened mouth.

Sarah has a trust fund which she is not allowed to touch till she is 25, I also have a trust fund and a few other bank accounts which I hardly use unless I really need to" she took a breath as she study a very quiet JJ "Is this too much for you, to take in" JJ shook her head "I just Emily that's a hell of a lot of money" Emily laughed as she handed a brown envelope over to her, JJ opened it frowning slightly as she saw her name "What is this?" she asked as she fully looked at the paper, "Mother set it up for you" Emily shook her head slightly "No its, I can't" JJ stumbled as she looked at the fund Elizabeth had set up for her "Why?" she finally asked "Jennifer, your family to us well your more to me I hope" she smiled softly "And everyone who enters our family gets one" Emily stilled her hands over JJ's as she looked into shocked blue eyes "Jennifer I love you and I don't want to lose you" Emily moved from her chair standing straight in front of her holding her gaze "And I also believe you didn't read the top part correctly" Emily smirked

JJ eyes went wide as she took in properly what the heading said, Emily took the paper off her keeping her gaze on her as she did "Jennifer Jareau would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?" Emily asked as she pulled out a purple case.


	57. Chapter 57

**Chapter 57**

**Location: Emily's Condo**

**Date: 29/3/07 7.45am**

Emily stood in front of JJ; her mouth was slightly ajar in shock, "Jennifer?" Emily said softly the worry starting to show in her eyes as she went to move away from the very quiet JJ, she started to move the box away which held a small sliver ring with 3 diamonds inserted and also was very practical for work so it wouldn't snag on anything.

JJ sat there in shock as the words spun in her head 'marry, as in marry' JJ though to herself as she looked at Emily noticing that she was backing away slightly with a sombre expression on her face,

'Damn it too soon, too much' Emily mentally berated herself, JJ watched her for a moment her hands trembled as it finally dawned on her she hadn't spoken, a small smile showed on her face as she jumped off the stool into Emily's arms, still unable to form words she mumbled into her neck as the tears started to run down her cheek wetting Emily's shoulder "Shh, I'm sorry" Emily said softly as her eyes filled with tears, this was too soon, too much.

JJ shook her head slightly sensing Emily was taking her the wrong way as she pulled away looking deeply in to her eyes, looking for any sense of betrayal or hesitance on Emily's part but she found none aside from worry and hurt, but most importantly she saw love cupping her cheek as she sobbed slightly "Y..Y...es" she stuttered out as she pulled Emily into a gentle kiss.

Pulling away slightly she looked into deep chocolate eyes holding her gaze as Emily's eyes studied her face "that's a yes?" Emily asked unsure that she had heard her correctly, JJ nodded as she pulled Emily into her arms "That's a big yes" she said in a slight giggle "You sure know how to shock a girl Ms Prentiss" JJ said once she finally was able to form words. Emily took her hand in her own as she pulled the ring out of the box "May I?" she asked softly as the smile radiated her face for the first time in months the smile reached her eyes.

"You may" JJ smirked "About that house" she asked shyly as Emily put the ring on her finger, Emily bit her lip slightly "Can I ring and confirm please?" she ask looking into bright blue eyes that were filled with unshed tears, JJ nodded before she spoke "Little early though" she mused as she looked at the clock which now said 8am "She will be up and also she will not mind since she will get a lovely bonus" Emily laughed pulling JJ close to her running her fingers through her hair.

"I love you Jennifer" she whispered softly against her forehead placing a soft kiss, JJ tilted her head so she could look at her as she smiled softly, it was the most beautiful thing JJ had seen in a long time "I love you too" she said cupping Emily's chin guiding her head down for a loving kiss before pulling away "I guess I have to let my mom know now" JJ joked as Emily rolled her eyes "You haven't told her?" Emily frowned slightly "It has never come up" she joked back, "Really, oh, then yes you need to tell her but only when you are ready" Emily said in a soft and serious voice.

JJ finally sat back down as Emily's stomach made itself known to them both "Are you hungry by any chance" she joked as Emily's stomach growled again "I woke up hungry" Emily said as she half laughed "But I got distracted by this beautiful lady" JJ flushed slightly as she rolled her eyes "You really have been spending too much time with Morgan" JJ said as she got up walking over to the fridge to find something for them both to eat "What do you fancy and no eggs" she said sternly "Oh well maybe bacon sausage and tomatoes" Emily said "You're really hungry aren't you babe" JJ said as she pulled the food out of the fridge and lighting the stove "Hmm, I am" her eyes raked over the blondes body "Emily stop it" JJ said softly as she turned to look at the brunette "What I didn't do anything" she smiled sweetly "I can feel you watching me" she smirked back, as she stood at the stove watching the food she looked at her hand studying the ring it was perfect as it suddenly dawned on her, she need to get Emily a ring.

"Em, would you mind if I rung Pen and asked if she wants to go shopping with me today and maybe you and Morgan can have some time together, I think he has been missing you a lot lately" JJ said as she plated the food up, handing Emily two slices of buttered bread, "Sure sounds like a good idea sweetie" she replied as she began to eat "But first we settle on the house so the paper work can go through" "What you going to do with this place?" JJ asked as Emily laughed slightly "Oh that's easy, I'll just sign it over to Sarah, I'm sure she will be grateful not to stay with my Mother or Fath" Emily trailed of slightly; she took a sip of her coffee.

"Em, why do you never speak of him" JJ asked with slight concern, no one had met her Father and he was also someone she never spoke of, but right now as Emily had started to say his name, something flashed over Emily's eyes, a look of hurt and partly shame mixed in with uncertainty, Emily smiled weakly at her as she tried to form words to somehow partly explain "he, well, I guess" she paused slightly "he hurt my Mother, before Sarah was born" JJ frowned slightly but her face conveyed understanding "And you have never forgiven him?"

Emily half chuckled "I guess I have been waiting for him to apologise, for what he said and what he did, not every family is perfect Jennifer and mine is far from it" she smiled sadly before she carried on "He cheated on my Mother with the secretary" she looked down slightly "when he found out I was pregnant he nearly disowned me, calling me a slag, a whore, and an embarrassment to the family name" she sighed softly "he hurt us both deeply but I cannot and I refuse to deny Sarah from knowing him, and he loves her"

Emily lost herself in the memories as she carried on speaking softly "She doesn't know her dad and she won't ever know him, he was a guy I met a few time got into something's I really shouldn't have, I lost my virginity to him, Matthew and John helped me a lot through it Matthew stood by me when the church turn against me, I went to them for advise and let's just say they went very helpful they judged me, and all I was trying to do was fit in, I was so lost back then Jennifer" she smiled softly at JJ as the blonde smiled and nodded softly. "Emily she is the double of you and Morgan and Garcia think she has the same temper as you" she laughed slightly remembering hearing her voice boom through Hotch's closed door into the bullpen.

"Do you think they will try and split the team up, I mean Strauss is well so against these things" this caused Emily to laugh loudly "Not if she wants to keep her job it won't be an issue" JJ went to say something as Emily shook her head "Something's you are better off not knowing" she smiled looking at the woman who had stolen her heart.

JJ smiled softly as she removed their plates taking them to the sink she kissed Emily on the cheek "I think he is so wrong you are not an embarrassment to anyone" smiled before turning the taps on as she started to wash the morning pots she started to speak softly "My mom and dad supported me in all fairness but after my sister died, well we grew apart I wanted out of the town away from all the memories.

every time I am there it is a reminder of Andrea of what happened to me, what I lost, my life is here with you" she smiled softly as she looked out of the window above the sink "I know as long as I am happy they will be, they are protective because of everything that has happened so my dad may put you through an interrogation but I would rather they came here than go back there, unless we have too, it still hurts Emily, I may have dealt with it and put it behind me but it still hurts" JJ's voice had become into a whisper

Emily walked up behind her wrapping her arms around her waist pulling her close "I can understand that Jennifer" she said softly as she kissed her neck "I feel the same way about Italy and Ohio" she pulled her closer stilling her hand away from the sink which she now had in a death grip. "Why Ohio?" she mumbled "I will tell you just not today I would rather this be a happy day where we can just forget the past and the past few months and go and see where our future is going to start" Emily smiled softly as she kissed along JJ's neck "Mmm, Em in order to do that you need to make a phone call" she teased slightly.

Emily rung the estate agent making another viewing for that morning as they pulled up into the drive they were greeted by Rachel as they walked into the house Emily spoke "Thank you for letting us view it again" she smiled "Emily it is always a pleasure" she smiled as she watched JJ walk into every room again she chuckled to herself as she watched from the kitchen "So would we be able to settle on a price and how soon can the papers be drawn up?" Emily asked while JJ was talking to herself about colours and furniture they would need, they finally settled on a price Emily had managed to get it a little lower since she was going to pay out right for it so it was one less thing to worry about and one less thing to shock her future wife with.

"So in a month we should be able to move in once the paperwork and funds have been transferred over and everything has gone through" Emily said as she wrapped her arms around the blonde standing in the dining room of their new home "Do I even want to know the price?" JJ mused as she nuzzled her face into the crock of Emily's neck "No I think you have heard enough for one day" Emily said softly. "When you go shopping with Garcia, have a look for things you would like to buy for the house" Emily smiled as they headed towards their car. "And I can wrap Morgan into some decorating" she mused "Em can we tell them?" JJ asked they both wanted to share the news that they were having twins as she thought about it maybe it would be better and her ears would be safer if JJ told Garcia while Emily was with Morgan "Sure but wait till you are shopping" Emily chuckled as they headed back to the condo to wait for their friends to arrive.


	58. Chapter 58

**Chapter 58**

**Location: Shopping trip**

**Date: 29/3/07 11.30am**

"Really!" Garcia squealed "Yes really, she asked I said yes, but I need to find a ring for Emily and I have no clue where to go or what to get her" JJ said as she showed her the ring "Wow, that is just beautiful" Garcia said holding her hand inspecting it fully as the sunlight glisten against it, JJ for her part hadn't looked at the band really as Garcia read the inscription the was written on the back "who would have thought Emily was a romantic" she said as JJ finally saw what was written 'my heart' it blended in so much you could only just see when you really looked at it.

JJ blushed slightly "Pen it is like she will do anything for me and part of me worries that I may not be good enough for her" JJ admitted, she was still shocked that Emily wanted her and only her, their backgrounds and up bringing's were so different, Garcia laughed "JJ she has been hooked on you from the first day she saw you" she smiled as they walked into the jewellery shop, she really had no idea what type or what to get. The gentlemen in the store showed her many rings but none seemed to say Emily to her and she wanted it perfect and special.

But it also had to be practical for work last thing she wanted was for Emily to take down an unsub and it to get caught she looked at Garcia who was grinning that much JJ thought her lips would split "Do you think I could get one designed for her?" JJ said softly "JJ anything you get she will love, but if that is the way you want to go then do it but it will be expensive" she warned JJ laughed softly "She's worth it Pen, I feel we wasted so much time and it took her being taken for me to fully see how much I want and need her and how much I love her, if I just told her sooner" she rambled sadly.

No one had really spoken about Emily's attack they had left both women to deal or ask for help if they needed it, Emily was stubborn and sometimes too proud to ask for help, Morgan had hardly spoken or been there for her to push her to talk and Garcia had done the same, no one knew how to talk about it.

"JJ you can't blame yourself you can only move past it and forward I know I haven't been much of a friend to you lately, I was worried if I said something it would hurt, and I also didn't and don't know what to say, but I just hoped you knew I was always here for you even if it was just a shoulder to cry on, your my best friend JJ and I am so sorry" she said softly as they left the shop

"I really don't know where to begin or what to say, Pen seeing her like that and just, she's Emily, she is normally so strong she just Emily we have all said it before about her whenever anything happens we all just seem to say it, but maybe we should have pushed her more" Garcia shook her head slightly "JJ the only person I know she talks to is Morgan, they just seem to click and work, it is like watching a brother and sister the way they are and he hasn't been much of a partner to her lately" she paused slightly "You know you'll get through this we all will, we are healing slowly Emily well it is still raw it has only been a few months and you both look like you're not sleeping much"

JJ nodded as they walked over to the bench to sit down "I still don't know why she never said anything about Sarah, that is one hell of a thing to hide from us all" she mused, "She will have her reasons just give her time, she has always been closed off to us very private never talks about anything outside of work, I guess this must be so now to her, having someone to turn to, and a whole group of people who will have her back" she smiled as she took her hand squeezing it gently "JJ I can wait till your fully ready to talk about everything just remember my door is always open"

JJ smiled softly as a small sigh escaped her lips "Thanks, just not today, we are here for a reason and I have so many thing to be happy for right now" she grinned pushing the thought's to the back of her mind.

They headed back to the jewellers and asked him if it was possible for him to make a ring for her, he nodded his response before explaining it may take a few weeks for it to be made and half would have to be paid up front, JJ grinned as she drew a rough sketched of what she wanted, it was a simple design she had, a silver band shaped in a v pattern with five diamonds embed inside, she explain that they need to be so they wouldn't catch on anything so she could wear it every day and asked for an inscription to go inside the band she smiled as she paid the man before they both headed out the store.

"That was like your month's salary JJ are you sure about this?" Garcia asked JJ laughed "I am more than sure, she is worth it" they walked for a few moments as JJ stomach growled "Fancy some lunch my treat" Garcia smirked "Mmm food sounds very good to me right now" JJ said as they found a small café set aside from the main shopping mall, they both ordered their food and waited for it to come with the coffees that they had ordered.

"So you are looking forward to becoming an auntie?" JJ mused "Oh yes I get to spoil the little one" she grinned as JJ smiled widely before she spoke looking her in the eyes "We went for a scan the other day you know before we went to the viewing" she said softly "Really why didn't you say anything?" Garcia frowned she hated being in the dark about things "Well we had a lot to get our heads around and for it to really sink in I guess, we were in shock if I am honest" she mused as she looked at her Garcia now had a very confused look on her face that also masked concern "Is everything okay, I mean is there something wrong? With the baby or Emily?" she rambled

"The babies are fine" JJ replied hoping her words sunk in "Oh that's go… hang on babies as in two as in twins and in multiple as in oh my god" she stuttered out, JJ burst out laughing thinking back to the conversation Emily had had with Sarah

"Yes twins Garcia" she nodded "Well I guess I need to start saving and buying for them both now" she squealed the excitement taking over her "Calm down we have plenty of time, and we also have settled on the house we are just waiting for it to go through and get a date to move in" she trailed off as their food was placed in front of them. "You two don't hang around do you, I mean moving house engaged" she paused slightly "What about Strauss?" JJ smiled at her worried friend "Don't worry about Strauss" "I can do a thing" Garcia said without thinking. "No you don't need to do a 'thing' it is or will be handled Emily has promised" JJ smiled.

"So where are we going next?" she asked as they finished their lunch "Well I was thinking we could go and look at some furniture for the house and the nurseries, since we want to get new things, Sarah is having the condo so the only things we are taking are the clothes and I also need to sort out my apartment, and give notice" JJ had only just remembered she hadn't been there in 3 months and was still paying rent and a lot of her things were there.

They had spent the last hour going around looking at furniture before heading out of the department and walking around to find a shop for baby furniture and some clothing JJ couldn't help but smile and get excited, Garcia for her part was giddy it was like watching a child in a sweet store.

JJ found the perfect cot, it was a three in one it would last as they grew to they were at least four it could be changed into to a small single bed when they grew, they argued slightly between themselves "I can't let you do that Pen really have you seen the price of it and we need to you just" Garcia cut her off "Look JJ I want to I earn more money than you and think of it as a gift I want to do something for you both and for my future nieces or nephews please" she practical begged her, fluttering her eye lashes at her with a puppy dog expression, JJ couldn't help but cave in "You know Emily will kick your ass don't you" JJ mused "No because she knows I can do a 'thing' and her credit rating will be" JJ held her hand up "No doing a 'thing' Garcia"

By the time they were finished they headed back home carrying 10 bags full of things for Emily and the babies that weren't even born yet but the clothes and baby grows almost called out to them to buy JJ had got caught up in it all as they loaded the car up she groaned slightly as she looked at Garcia "Emily s going to kill us" Garcia laughed "Maybe but remember we have Morgan there to protect us" she grinned


	59. Chapter 59

**Chapter 59**

**Location: Emily's Condo**

**Date: 29/3/07 11.30am**

"We can just sit in silence if you want till they get back" Morgan said softly but kindly to Emily, she had become nervous, she was fine at work and out in the field because she knew JJ was near and close, she hadn't been alone with her friend and partner for the past 3 months let alone been alone with a male.

For the first time since joining the BAU she felt uncomfortable, she looked at him with unsure eyes, there was a kindness there that was covered in love and understanding, Morgan may not always be the most patient of people, but when it came to the team he was and more importantly when it came to Emily he had all the time in the world. Emily in his eyes was his sister he loved her and cared about her like family does.

He look into her sad and unsure eyes, looking down he saw the tell tail signs that Emily was stressed out and nervous, she had begun picking her fingernails, with slow movements he reached out his hand to still hers looking straight at her "Talk to me Emily" he asked softly but his eyes were pleading with her. "I…Morgan I" she stopped for a second "Never had you pegged for someone stuck for words princess" he teased softly, which earn him a small laugh.

"I'm sorry, didn't think I'd. It…this would be so" "Hard?" he finished her sentence for her "How about we start with something small" he frowned slightly "Well it's not that small in fact its huge" he smiled earning a confused frown of Emily "Details!" he smirked "You, JJ" he raised his eyebrows seeing a small smile start to edge on her lips "I don't kiss and tell and you know that" she mused at him.

"Okay are you happy?" he tried a different approach, he was a master at this, even though Emily had brains and wit and was also a nerd, he just had a way of drawing things out of her without her fully noticing sometimes, which was now as she started to ramble slightly "I am when Jennifer is around, when she isn't, my mind goes back there, I'm trapped I am scared of myself and people I don't know I am ashamed of myself, I trust you Morgan but what if we are in the field can you trust me to have your back?" she looked sadly into his eyes, looking for any sign of pity or repulsion but found not there was an understanding there and love, the tears filled her eyes but remind unshed.

"First off I trust you, Emily I know full well if you didn't think you had my back or could do your job, you wouldn't have come back, I can't imagine what you went through, because people never go through the same emotions or feelings, but I also know what it is like to feel ashamed and repulsed with yourself" he smiled kindly, Emily had been there for him when he got arrested and found out he had been abused, it was his time to repay her for that. She knew he understood on some level as she looked into his eyes.

"I feel ashamed because I let it happen, I let myself become vulnerable and a target, I don't understand how I never saw or had an idea what he was capable of, I have questioned myself every day and night, how did I not see it, we deal with this every day and I didn't see it what does that say about me" Morgan let out a slight laugh as he looked at her "Well princess nice to know we are all thinking the same thing" she frowned at him slightly as her eyes narrowed "We think it because hell Prentiss we played pool with the guy for months, and we never saw it" he looked down at his hands which still held Emily's "We didn't see because we only went after a hard case or when we wanted to let off steam, and mainly because we weren't looking, none of us knew what he was capable of, but I am so glad we never told him our first names or the fact that we were, are FBI, because the outcome could have been so different" he admitted they knew if he knew she was FBI they may not have got her back alive.

"How is it you always know what to say" she smiled softly at him a real smile not fake not for show but the smile he knows "Because you are my friend, and also I do tend to listen when you talk to me, me nodding and agreeing isn't just for side effects" he joked which earned him a playful slap, "Emily I love you and see you as family, and I hope you know you have five people that would do anything for you, who have been waiting by the phone for them to be able to help you, and me personally I'm glad it is me here because you are my friend and you are my partner and I can help you through this if you let me"

The tears were rolling down her cheek, which she hadn't noticed, he brought his hand up to her cheek and wiped them away as she pulled him into a hug which in return he pulled her closer wrapping his arms around her tight, the tears soon stopped but she stayed in his arms as she spoke "So to change the subject" she mused to get the topic moving and off the painful past for a while, sometimes it was a little too intense the emotions she felt regarding her torcher "I've asked JJ to marry me" she blushed as Morgan gasped and slapped her shoulder "You little vixen, you kept that quite, why didn't you tell me" he grinned before he frowned "She did say yes, didn't she?" Emily laughed "Yes she said yes" he kissed her head softly "I am so happy for you, but I must say, you really should have told her sooner I was ready to bang your heads together" he teased as they settled into comfortable silence.

She stayed in his arms her head resting on his shoulder, like many times they had done this when they were alone and Emily was opening up to him about things that were playing on her mind, or they were watching a film, and no one out of them knew this side to their relationship he was her partner and her brother, but Morgan like his macho image and she wouldn't brake that for anything, this in their eyes was something just between them.

"So I settled on the house you know the last one we viewed the other day, Jennifer loved it and I admit I do as well but I want her to be happy" she smiled as his grip got a little tighter around her "I knew you would, could tell with your faces" he smiled "And well there is another thing" her voice became serious as she pulled away from him, she had learnt awhile back when they had watched sports together never sit close to him when she knows it will make him hyper or very happy.

"So how do you feel about being an uncle" she mused as she looked at him with a mischievous grin on her face "I can't wait" he grinned "So as an uncle would you be willing to decorate two nurseries?" Morgan looked at her with wide eyes as he jump from the sofa "Two, you're having twins, wow! That's when did you find out and damn Prentiss" he became gigged as Emily looked at his with a bemused smile on her face "The day we went to the viewings, you are going to have a niece and nephew" she waited as her words sunk in. "Niece, nephew" he repeated to himself the grin getting wider on his face "Damn it Prentiss that is great news! I mean are you happy about it?" she nodded "I am we were in a little bit of shock and it took a while to sink in but yeah we are both happy"

They had settle down into a peaceful silence watching a film Emily was now sitting curled into Morgan's protective arm he head rested on his shoulder, they were so interested on the film that they never heard the door open or close as the two walked behind them JJ and Garcia giggled slightly causing them both too jump apart and also to look very guilty

"You two looked so comfy don't let us stop you" JJ said laughing "They really make a cute couple don't they" Garcia tease the now blushing brunette "Now baby girl just" he was cut off "Oh, your macho status just disappeared" JJ teased he held his hands up to speak as the two of them teased them "Who knew Derek Morgan was a big softie" JJ smirked as Emily's eyes went wide as she spotted the bags they had hold of

"Jennifer please tell me those bags aren't all yours" she said slightly warily "Well no some are Garcia's" she mused as Garcia spoke "But they are also for you, I couldn't help myself, I am going to be an auntie" she gushed out, Emily rolled her eyes slightly but she couldn't help share in her excitement "So you going to show us?" Morgan ask as he shook his head looking at her as he mumbled "My bank account is going to be sore" JJ eyes went wide as Emily stared at him slapping him hard "Your bank account?" she asked as Garcia blushed.

"Well yes he wanted... he asked." She stuttered out knowing they had been somewhat busted, considering the knowing grin on JJ's face as she shoved Garcia "You're a dark horse aren't you. You two are? How long?" Emily said as she looked at his partner "Bags I want to see bags" Morgan said now intently interested in what they had bought trying to take the looking eyes off him "Oh no you don't, you've got some explaining to do" Emily said seriously as she eyed them both up, JJ was glaring at her best friend "Tell us" JJ finally asked "Well we've been" she sighed as she looked at Morgan for help "Four years" he finally admitted "FOUR YEARS!" Emily said in a very loud voice "How did we not, why did you not, all them times we have been out together and you haven't told me" Emily said slightly hurt as JJ shook her head.

Morgan looked at Garcia before looking down "We just wanted something private and not made complicated or well" Garcia finally spoke "We just wanted something away from the team, we all practically live together, this was just" JJ cut in resting her hand on Garcia's arm "We are happy for you, you could have told us and we won't say anything will we Em" JJ said softly sensing her friends unease.

They may all be friends but sometimes they wanted to hold things back keep a little something for themselves and both Emily and JJ understood this all too well "Lips are sealed" Emily smiled at them both "But seriously we are happy for you both" she paused "Now show me the bags, please" she grinned.

"So promise you won't shout at me" Garcia said looking at Morgan and Emily "What did you do?" Morgan asked "And is my bank in the red?" Garcia smiled "Not quite in the red, but anyway, we discussed this Derek and you said" he cut her off before she rambled too much "Just tell us, please so I can pass out" he mused slightly "Well we had planned to buy you the cot for the little bambino so when JJ said twins, well you now have two instead of one" Emily frowned slightly "Let me get this straight, you bought the cots for us, as in we didn't?" Emily doubled checked as she eyed her partner up "Yes, we wanted to do something nice for you both" he said, Emily chuckled slightly "So my macho partner goes to mush when babies are involved" she grinned "Your like my sister in my defence" he said as she wrapped her arms around him kissing his cheek "You didn't need to but thank you, both of you so much" she said looking at her two friends.


	60. Chapter 60

**Chapter 60**

**I have moved forward a few weeks just so you don't think I have messed with the time line, but I also feel it is time for JJ and Sarah to bond…and maybe a few tears along the way… This could be fun or not but let's see how it plays out for them both as ever please read and review I cannot express how much it wills me to continue and for them who have messaged or left a review I thank you. Right enough of me on with the story…**

**Location: Emily's Condo**

**Date: 12/4/07 9.00am**

"I can't believe you will be moving in a few days, it is going to seem so empty in here without you both" Sarah said as she handed JJ her coffee "Well you know there is always a room and you will also have your own key to the house" JJ smiled.

"So where did Morgan drag Mom" Sarah asked changing the subject slightly "They have gone to look at paint and furniture for the nurseries" she replied "Oh how come you didn't go with them?" "Have you seen them two together, it is much safer I stay here than get in-between that" she said smiling

Sarah nodded slightly "well maybe we could, if you wanted to you don't have to though" Sarah said causing JJ to chuckle "Your mother was right that school didn't teach you a thing" she teased as Sarah frowned slightly "In order for me to answer you have to tell me what you want to do!" JJ said looking at her "Oh, right, sorry" JJ shook her head slightly "You do know you sometimes talking to you is like talking to your mom" she joked "Just say it the worse I can say is no" she smiled softly

"Well I was hoping I guess if we could talk, you know get to know each other better, since well you're going to be my step-mom I guess once you have set a date and everything" she trailed off slightly, JJ laughed as she spoke "Please never call me that in public, JJ will do" she teased slightly causing Sarah to laugh "But I would like that, you know to get to know you more" she smiled softly to a now grinning Sarah.

"Great maybe we could go out for the day? To the park or something instead of being stuck in here" JJ nodded "How about we go somewhere away from here so we don't have to worry about bumping into people we know so we can really talk" JJ said she had a feeling Sarah wanted to more than just talk to get to know her. "That sounds better, you have somewhere in mind?"

They had driven out of town and had been making small talk for the past two hours as JJ finally pulled the car up in the car park that looked over a lake "You been here often?" Sarah asked as she took in the view and the peacefulness of the place "Whenever I need to think or need to escape" JJ replied turning off the engine "Also there is a nice café over the other side of the lake" she smiled as they both got out of the car.

They had walk slowly around the lake getting to the half-way point when Sarah became slightly uncomfortable, her voice was lower and JJ began to get concerned, she had told her about the places she had been where she grew up, but now the uneasy silence fell upon them both, Sarah seemed lost in thought, she worn the same look at Emily got when something was playing on her mind "Shall we sit there is a bench just ahead" JJ said, but all she got in reply was a slight nodded from her.

JJ finally broke the silence that had fallen around them "Sarah what's wrong?" she asked softly her voice showing concern, Sarah looked at her a sad expression covered her face and JJ couldn't help but feel for her "Whatever it is you can tell me if you want, or we can just go back home" she said kindly "No, it's just mom hasn't told you has she" JJ looked at her slightly confused "Told me about what sweetie" JJ was now becoming more and more worried the lack of expression that shadowed her face and the blankness in her eyes, she didn't want to push, it really wasn't her place, but it was also the same look Emily had when she woke screaming for Sarah to run or she had been woken to find the bed empty and Sarah wrapped in her mother's arms at night.

"What happened Sarah" she asked quietly, Sarah looked at her, her voice more than a whisper "when I was younger, well not that long ago, we use to live in Ohio, I was 13" she paused before carrying on "Mom had just come back from an assignment from god knows where, she never told me where she was, sometimes she was gone a few weeks other times months" she took a deep breathe "when she came back, it was as though she was spooked, I had never seen her scared JJ ever" she looked at her for a moment before looking back at the floor.

"As you know, no one knew or knows about me, I am just a family member, and I could never understand why, I always called her mom when we were alone at home but outside of the house she was Emily, it use to confuse me greatly" she wiped the tear that was now running down her cheek "I thought she was ashamed of me" she admitted as JJ took her hand in her own trying to give her strength "Sarah you don't have to tell me this if you don't want to" she said in a hushed voice, Sarah shook her head "I need to and I want to, it is just hard I guess" she smiled sadly.

"Mom trusts you and I am starting to as well" she looked at JJ before turning away "Anyway when mom got back she was so spooked, checking the locks all the time even when we were both awake, she started to ignore the phone, she withdrew into herself, she came back not as my mother but as a shell that was scared and spooked, as though she was in fear" she sighed "About a week later I fully understood why she was so spooked, it was late at night and hot mom had told me to keep my windows closed in my bedroom, but because I didn't know what was going on, I had ignored her, thought she was just being stupid" she shook her head slightly "that night three men came into my room, I woke screaming from my sleep as someone gripped my arms" she tighten her hand around JJ's before she spoke again.

"Lucky mom is a light sleeper, before she reached my room I was gone, slammed into the back of a truck, my hands and legs tied together tightly, they drove for a while before we reach what I can only describe as a warehouse they tied me up" she shuddered slightly at the memory before pushing on. "I heard them speaking on the phone demanding she come alone or she wouldn't see me again, it was only then I knew they were talking to my mom" Sarah began to shiver slightly.

Bracing herself she leaned into JJ slightly as though she was trying to hide herself "they started to beat me when I didn't answer their questions, hell I never knew what my mom did for a living, I didn't even know she was working for the CIA back then" she said quietly as JJ pulled her close.

"Mom arrived they hit her demanding where there supplies where, she never answered she just kept looking at me, I refused to call her mom, no one knew as far as they knew I was just a kid staying with her" she sighed "they were smugglers, transporting kids into the country" a sob ripped through her as she held on tighter.

"They beat her knocking her out before they tied her up next to me" she let out a slight laugh "when mom woke up they were" she closed her eyes "Burned me on my back, I should say branded me" JJ ran her fingers soothingly up and down her back.

"I have the numbers 666 permanently embedded on my skin, it hurt so much, I think my screams woke her, I remember the look of horror in her eyes all she could do was watch" JJ whispered softly "Shh, it's okay Sarah" holding her a little tighter as she could only think of the pain they had endured "We must have been there hours, I had lost track of time, they beat mom, then they would start on me again, then they stopped not sure how long for but it was enough time for mom to manage to get the ropes off my hands, I wanted to stay, I didn't want to leave her" Sarah broke down in JJ's arms "Mom screamed at me to run, she begged, I didn't want to, I was so scared, but mom begged me asking me to get help" JJ held her tighter "So I ran not sure for how long, but I found a phone and rung the police" she let out a stifled laugh "They didn't believe me, it was only when two officers saw me that they acted, I told them what happen, what I knew, well most of it, I never said she was my mom" she broke more

"I couldn't it was one promise I never broke, I was covered in blood and dirty the pain was so much, they got to her we were treated in hospital" she sat up a little more pulling away slightly "Mom never forgave herself JJ never, she tried to kill herself, my mom strong Emily, tried to kill herself, she wanted to leave me!" she almost shouted, JJ couldn't help the tears that were falling down her cheeks, her heart went out too them both so much "It took mom awhile, but we got through it, just got through it, but with what happened to her, JJ she is reliving both" JJ nodded "I know but I think you both are" she admitted as Sarah just nodded

"I only realised how much when she rung me that night at 3am asking me to come round, she was so silent I reached out to her and first thing she did was grip my neck to choke me" she shuddered as JJ looked slightly shocked at her "Sarah" she whispered "That's why when she had that nightmare I told you to move, JJ she won't hurt you, mom isn't like that but you also need to know how bad it is, and what's going on in her mind, she just didn't or doesn't know how to say it, she is so scared she will lose you" Sarah said as the sobs ripped through her body.

JJ wrapped her arms around Sarah tightly as she soothed her the best she could "Sarah listen to me please" Sarah nodded against her "I am not going anywhere, this, what you have told me doesn't change anything other than it helps me understand things more, your mom needs help but I also think that maybe you do to" she rubbed her back soothingly "This is both your trauma not just your moms, you are both so strong and so alike, but your stubbornness always seems to win" Sarah stayed quite as she listened "I have a past which I have dealt with and I have the scars to prove it, but also its my secret everyone has them Sarah and you, your mom will get through this me the team we can help, they won't judge, Morgan knows your mom better than any of them" Sarah looked at her as she whispered "Scars?"

JJ chuckled "Yeah I have a few, but that doesn't matter okay, what does is all three of us need help to get through this and to be there for each other, I have nightmares with what happened to your mom, I wake sweating sometimes crying and yet none of us talk about it" she smiled softly at her as she wiped her eyes "Tell you what lets go and get something to eat, I think we both need a break from these" she waved her hand above her head which earn her a laugh from Sarah.

They finally made it over to the other side of the lake the tension had left them and Sarah was more relaxed and open with her as they sat eating the burgers they had ordered "JJ does, well what I told you, I mean" JJ shh'd her "Doesn't change anything, doesn't scare me, and like I said I'm not going anywhere" she assured her.


	61. Chapter 61

**Chapter 61**

**Location: Emily's Condo**

**Date: 12/4/07 5.17pm**

JJ signed as she sipped her coffee, the house was quite Sarah had gone out with some friends and wasn't going to be back tonight, so she waited for Emily to arrive home, Morgan had sent a text saying she had dropped him off and also to see how she was, that was a big question right now as she sat in the silence looking over the capital watching as dusk drew near.

'**Do I tell her? Or not?' **the question spun around in her mind as she thought more about things **'she's always so guarded never says what she use to do before the BAU, she came from nowhere, one day Elle had left her seat wasn't even cold and Emily turned up! Why did nothing show when Garcia did her thing? Why do I feel so bloody angry towards her, she hasn't really lied but also she hasn't told me the truth either? Did Sarah think I knew or was it an innocent slip of her tongue? Do I even know her? Ugh! I love her so damn much so why the hell do I feel like I have been betrayed or even deceived. Damn it!'**

The thoughts mulled in her mind she knew she couldn't get her answers yet. The person she needed them from was still not home.

The click of the door pulled her from her thoughts as Emily called her name "Jennifer?" she shook her head slightly "In here" JJ replied. They needed to talk and this could go one of two ways, and yet again JJ thought to herself **'this is where I get hurt. Again!'**

Emily smiled as she walked towards the sofa to greet her properly her and Morgan had, had a lovely time, as she looked at JJ though her face displayed hurt and anger "Jennifer? Is everything okay?" she asked carefully as JJ narrowed her eyes slightly

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be, I mean me and Sarah went out for the day, we talked, she said something though and it is bugging the hell out of me, and I guess we need to talk about a few things" JJ said her voce was a eerily calm as she looked the brunette up and down

"Okay what has Sarah said or done to" she paused looking for the correct way to word it but she came up blank "Piss you off?" she asked

"She hasn't pissed me off" JJ warned as she glared somewhat at Emily "Okay, what did you talk about? So I have some idea of why you seem anger and hurt?" "We talked about Ohio" JJ said pointingly, Emily face sunk as the colour shifted from her face causing her to pale slightly,

"Okay, which part she tell you about" Emily asked as she kept her distance sitting down on the chair "Oh her being kidnapped beaten" Emily gulped slightly as she spoke "I. Well.." she sighed softly "didn't know own to tell you or how to bring it up" she admitted.

Her voice rose slightly "CIA! Emily, you worked for the CIA, why the hell didn't we know and more importantly why the fucking hell didn't you tell me" she said as she started to pace "Jennifer, I couldn't, I can't," JJ glared dangerously at her "I don't know you Emily, not fully, I have let you in I have told you things that no one knows for god's sake, and I had to hear it from Sarah" she scolded

Emily resigned herself to fate to the fact that she shouldn't have got involved, everything was starting to fall around her, how could she tell her she was a spy and that she had done things that haunted her, seen things that made her skin crawl. She looked into sad and angry eyes, picking at her nails.

"You do know me Jennifer, just... I am not allowed to divulge anything regarding it, I was sworn to secrecy" she said softly as her eyes filled with tears "It's not like I wanted to keep it from you, it's not like I had a choice" Emily said as she looked at the floor "I didn't mean to hurt you" she said as she let out a shuddered breath.

"You should have trusted me enough to tell me Emily. You should have believed that I wouldn't have told anyone or said anything, hell Em, I could of helped you more when you screamed, I could have done anything or something instead of the panic of not being able to help you" JJ said as she walked up to her kneeling in front of her stilling her hands, Emily looked at her for a moment "Have I lost you?" she asked as the tears and fears engulfed her mind

JJ smiled weakly at her "No, you haven't but you will if you can't be honest with me, if you can't let me in, I trust you, but do you trust me enough to let me in to allow me to see you, to allow me to help" JJ paused as she tried to control her emotions "Emily she told me you tried to kill yourself, do you know what that did to me, I had to keep my fears and feelings away from her I couldn't let her see, she didn't mean any harm, part of me knows this, but it hurt and it still does, I grew up on the belief there was some good in this world and pain and heartache could and can be healed when you love someone, not to have it ripped away by someone who is meant to love me who says I am her everything and I have her heart" she lifted her chin making Emily look at her "how can I have your heart if you hide away from me" she paused to get her breath and see what Emily would say.

"I am so sorry Jennifer, last thing I wanted was to hurt you, I wasn't ready I wasn't and right now I am not strong enough to be ready, if I let you in my fears will become really my nightmares will come true, I am not proud of what I did in the CIA, but it was a job, one that cost me so much and I guess it still costing me" she said softly as the sobs ripped from her throat. This was not what she wanted this was not how she wanted JJ to find out, and more importantly she never wanted to her the blonde who stole her heart who invaded her dreams, the one person who kept the monsters at bay.

JJ looked at her studying her, hoping to see truth in what she was saying, she saw something, beside the fear and the pain, she saw a blankness, the type you get when you're on the brink of drowning and your holding on for dear life, your clinging from a thread, "I love you and that hasn't changed Em and I also know it won't, but I need something from you, I need you to answer me and I want you to be honest with me, you don't have to tell me about the CIA, but it would have been nice to know you worked for them, I need to know what you're feeling, what your fears are so I can help you" JJ said firmly, even though she was hurt she knew that this was her place, this was where she was meant to be

"I can't talk about the CIA, but I can be honest with you, I can learn not to hide away from you from my feelings and thoughts, but I worry they will scare you, and I'll lose you" Emily said honestly. "Emily what part of me telling you I am not going anywhere don't you understand?" "That you will see my demons and be repulsed by them, I have a dark place and it haunts me, I let my daughter get taken, I made her suffer, I did that" JJ shook her head "You didn't let her and you sure as hell haven't made her suffer, the men did, do you really think that she would be here if you had made her suffer?"

Emily looked at her JJ as more tears fell "I'm scared" she said weakly "Everyone wants me to be strong, but I'm not I'm... I guess... I'm not sure I can do this, get past this get through it, The CIA was hell for me it ripped my heart out it nearly destroyed me Jennifer" JJ smiled softy as she wrapped her arms around Emily as she cried she whispered softly to her "We have to stop dancing around what has happened to you, we need to talk about it, and I am not just talking about the CIA, I am talking about Rob Emily, you can't run from it, you can try, you can look at yourself and feel ashamed or embarrassed, but you can't hide from it, it will consume you if you do, and I cannot stand by and watch it rip you apart" she paused for a moment feeling Emily nod against her

"If you can't talk to me write your feelings and fears down, you could see someone and talk to them, if you want, if you feel you can be honest with them" she kissed her temple softly "You don't have to tell me everything but if you're having a bad day or if the thoughts get too much for you, you have to tell me okay, how can I be there for you if you hide from me and don't talk to me" she said as she moved the hair away from her face feeling her calm slightly

"I promise I will try, but I have kept everything hidden for so long I don't know how to, I built these walls to protect myself and them I care about, what if I pull them down and I lose myself" "You trust me to catch you, you trust me not to let you fall, I told you before you are stronger than you think than you feel" she kissed Emily softly "I have fear, I have nightmares, watching you get beaten watching him invade you like that Emily it killed me because I couldn't save you from that pain" she paused for a moment.

"I catch myself crying someday, when I am in my office, I will look at a file or see a picture and sometimes all I see is you, and that tears at my heart, we have built this bubble around us that is so damn tight that even I am surprised we can breathe, that we can function" she smiled softly "I will make you a deal okay, I will open up and tell you my feelings and fears and I will tell you if things get too much in my mind, if I am having a bad day, as long as you do the same, if it is easier for you to write it down than saying it then do that but no more running and no more hiding, you can hide away your feelings at work, but here in our home you don't" Emily nodded "Okay, I promise and Jennifer I am so sorry, can you forgive me?"

JJ laughed slightly "I already have forgiven you baby I already have" JJ said hoping she had got the message across praying that she had got through to her, "How about we order a takeout and just watch a film tonight I think we both can use the break as long as you do one thing, just let me hold you, you are safe with me Em, I will never let anyone hurt you again" Emily nodded "I can do all of them, but can I have a spicy pizza?" Emily smiled slightly as JJ rolled her eyes "Spicy really Em, the last one stunk the house out for three days" she laughed pulling the brunette out of the chair holding her closer to her as she nuzzled her face into the crook of her neck "Don't ever hide from me again" "I won't" Emily promised, silently as she thanked whatever god had brought this women into her life in to her heart and soul.


	62. Chapter 62

**Chapter 62**

**Location: Emily's Condo**

**Date: 15/4/07 6.05am**

JJ turned over in her sleep to cuddle into the brunette but yet again the sheets were cold, she groaned slightly, today was they day they were going to start their life together in their own home, slowly she opened her eyes looking at the bright clock she sighed softly to herself, the past two days had been not so much different but hard, JJ had been woken most nights by the sound or Emily sobbing in her sleep, she was quite a somewhat distant but she had kept to her word and been honest with her so far. Telling JJ she was trying to work things out in her mind but she wasn't hiding.

Though she had said she would like to find someone she could talk to once they had moved and got settled in, and also said she didn't know if she would be able to talk to her, but she was trying to do as she had asked and many times over the two days she had found Emily sitting at a table with the pad and pen in her hand staring blankly at the paper, JJ was unsure if anything had finally got written down, but even though she smiled Emily was trying and that is all that JJ wanted her to do.

Throwing the covers off JJ began to get up and started to carry out her morning routine before going to locate Emily, she opened the door to head downstairs as her sense were attack by the smell of coffee, bacon and eggs, her stomach growled, just as Emily began to walk up the stairs she looked at her "Good morning" Emily had a smile on her face a real smile the one JJ had fallen in love with, it had been so long since Emily had looked at her like she was right now.

JJ returned the smile "Morning babe, what's this?" Emily turn as they both walked back down the stairs "Well I was making the woman of my dreams breakfast in bed but she wasn't there" Emily teased slightly "Hadn't you best go and look for her then?" JJ teased back, placing the tray of food down Emily turned to take JJ in her arms "You are so beautiful Jennifer have I told you that lately?" Emily said taking her into her arms, JJ leaned into her looking into her eyes as she tucked the strayed strand of hair behind her ear, Emily leaned into the touch the smile never altering "You're not so bad yourself Prentiss, are you going to tell me what has come over you this morning and how long have you been awake for" JJ asked, Emily nodded "Been up most of the night couldn't sleep, Jennifer we move today, this is the last time we will wake in this house, I guess you could say I am happy truly happy" she looked at her with a slight worry betraying in her eyes.

JJ leaned forward pulling her in for a loving kiss running her tongue along her bottom lip to ask for access which Emily gave easily, she pulled away slightly smiling at her, "I can't wait baby, but you could have woke me I would have got up with you" Emily shook her head as she moved pulling the chair for her to sit, taking the seat herself, she spoke softly and somewhat shyly "I needed to think" she frowned "Not think but I needed to" she bit her lower lip trying to find an easier way of saying it "I wrote and well it's not and you can read it but I.. Its but" JJ looked at her shh'ing her "Em, no rush and thank you" she smiled.

"So what time are they getting here and just so you are warned I meant what I said, I catch you carrying anything other than holding the door open you will be spending the night on the couch" she stared at her for a moment "Are we clear!" JJ said firmly, Emily rolled her eyes in slight frustration but she knew JJ was right as she nodded "Promise my back is already starting to get sore" she stood up to move the plates as she turned around JJ stopped her in her track "Emily" she whispered out looking at the small bump that had appeared, Emily smirked.

JJ rushed running her fingers over her small bump "When did this appear" she said in wilderment "Not sure maybe a couple of days" Emily admitted, she had been waiting for the blonde to notice "I wanted you to" she trailed off as the most cheesiest grin appeared across her face "babies, your babies" Emily cut her off in a dangerous voice "My babies? My babies? You might want to rethink that Jennifer they are OUR babies, I thought you knew this" JJ looked at her before cupping her cheek they worry she saw in her eyes broke her heart someday but right now reassurance was to be given "Em, I am sorry, didn't know how or if, their ours!" she smiled softly "their ours" she whispered again as the words finally sunk into her mind "we going to be mom's, I guess I knew that I just haven't said it out loud before Emily I'm sorry" she said softly as she rubbed the small bump, Emily smiled softly "It's okay and sorry I didn't mean to well you know" JJ nodded

"So what time the guys getting here for? And has Morgan picked the van up?" Emily smiled "Well it is a good job your dressed Garcia left me a message last night that they were going to get here for 7.30 and yes Morgan has got the van" JJ's eyes went slightly wide "This is really happening, we are buying, this is" Emily laughed "Yes we are going to own a home, I was waiting for this to happen, it's called buyers-remorse"

JJ spent the next hour moving the boxes they had with Emily's books in and placing them near the door, they had her condo to move and JJ's apartment so it was going to be a very long day, for them both, but it was going to be worth it Garcia had already arranged everyone to meet for half seven, which had made both Sarah Emily and JJ laugh, they never seen her so bossy but it took some pressure off them both. They had arranged for the furniture to be delivered after 12pm which gave the enough time to have gotten most of the stuff moved in.

JJ had left the door open so they could come straight it, Garcia's voice rung through the condo already telling Morgan to start moving the boxes into the van "But I want to" the glare her throw him got him to shut up and do as he was asked as she watched him bend down she drooled slightly as JJ walked over to her "How can anyone not find that the most sexiest thing" JJ laughed "If you say so Pen, if you say so" she teased.

The guys showed up not long after "What time do you call this?" Garcia asked as Hotch, Rossi and Reid walked through the door, Reid smiled at her "It is 7.45am Garcia" which in turn made everyone chuckle "If you wasn't so adorable I would shout at you for being late, but you two I expect better from" she stared at Hotch and Rossi "Sitter was late" Hotch grumbled which seemed to be acceptable for Garcia "Right well these boxes need to be taken down to the van" she clapped her hands together as she got them to work.

Emily chuckled "She is very" JJ shook her head "I know" they both rolled their eyes as JJ went to help. "Don't forget what I said Emily" JJ said as she started moving the boxes as Garcia interrupted "Sarah you are helping as well" she ordered as Emily whispered "Just help or she can do a 'thing' and you don't want her to do a 'thing' trust me" Sarah nodded and started to help, the more hands they had the faster it would get done.

Emily settled herself on the stool in the kitchen as she watched them, she wanted to help but aside from the promise she had made, her back was aching slightly, but just because she could help with the move she could at least keep them fed and watered she thought as she began to pull some meat and salad out of the fridge, to make sandwiches for them all and getting the coffee machine ready. It had amazed her that it had only taken them a couple of hour to get everything into the van as they piled back into her kitchen slightly red in the face she couldn't help but laugh.

"You guys look worse than when we have to chase unsubs" she teased as Morgan pushed her slightly "just because you get to stand around and watch" he looked at her for a moment, as JJ slapped him around the back of his head "children behave or I will ground you both" they couldn't help but laugh as they all took a seat and began eating, JJ handed the coffees around as she stood behind Emily rubbing the lower of her back.

"So you will follow us or Morgan if he remembers how to get there" JJ joked "I do how can I forget" the rest of them hadn't seen the house yet all they had been told by Morgan and Garcia was it was big, which really wasn't much of a description for them, as they pulled up outside the house Reid let out a low whistle "Wow, Emily its huge not big" Rossi patted him on the shoulder "It's nice Prentiss" he said as she opened the door for them to have a look around before they started to unload the van.

The boxes were label so they got shown the different rooms so they all knew where the things were to be placed, Emily stood at the side watching her things be brought in she couldn't help thinking that it really wasn't a lot of belongings considering she was 37 and had little to show for it in all fairness.

JJ snaked her arms around her waist resting her fingers across her stomach "You okay babe" JJ whispered in her ear, Emily nodded slightly "Just not much to show for 37 years have I" she murmured "Well that can change and it will do sweetie, we've got one more trip to do, will you be okay with Garcia or would you rather I stay here with you while they get my things?" "I'll be okay" she paused slightly as she turned in her arms "Don't take too long" her eyes pleaded as JJ nodded "Okay sweetie just relax while I'm gone we can sort everything out when we are alone" she smiled softly as she placed a light kiss against her lips.

"Are you okay Emily?" Garcia asked once everyone had left to collect JJ's things, "Yeah I'm good, how is everything with you" she smiled softly at her before finding the floor more interesting "Oh you know me peaches, I am always good" she beamed "I bet you two can't wait to get settled in" Emily shifted slightly "Yeah, could do with a soak in the bath as well though" she replied wishing JJ and they guys would hurry up getting back.

They continued to make small talk for a while, Emily was becoming more tired all she wanted to do was sit down or soak in the bath, she had woke up sore and the pain had now been with her most of the day and she was becoming more and more irritable, luckily the furniture arrived to distract them both, they men put the things where Emily and Garcia told them, just as they were leaving Morgan arrived with the van and the rest following in the car.

By 4pm everything was done, Emily and JJ had treated them all to lunch to say thank you, they were finally alone Emily curled into JJ on the new sofa since neither of them wanted to even think about unpacking they had tomorrow to do it before they were back in work, "Jennifer" Emily said softly as she nuzzled into her more "What it is Em, you've been quite all day" she let out a soft sigh "I really need a bath my back is killing me for some reason, but will you join me?" JJ kissed the top of her head "Of course sweetie, and maybe an early night" she replied in a seductive voice.


	63. Chapter 63

**Chapter 63**

**Location: Emily's and JJ's (AKA Home)**

**Date: 16/4/07 3.03am**

This was their home, this was their new start, this was where they were going to become a family, this was meant to feel safe, and yet again no matter how tired she was, she just could not settle, it had been the same thing for the past few nights.

Emily moved slightly and unwrapped herself from JJ's embrace carefully not to wake her, she sat up and watched her for a while, she knew she was lucky, she knew she loved the woman who held her every night, who helped sooth the nightmares when they came, and with her she felt safe, with JJ there was no need to put on a macho attire, she could and would allow her vulnerable side to show, she could let her walls down and be scared and cry in her arms. So why on earth could she not sleep!

After watching JJ she went to get up finding her dressing gown which luckily they had left hanging on the back of the door for them both, she walked downstairs, finding her familiar writing pad, it was the only thing Emily had asked not to be packed up she had kept it close to her and placed it in the kitchen drawer, she grabbed her pad and pen and walked into the dining room, putting the heating on since it was still chilly.

**Dear Jennifer,**

**I have been sat staring at this most nights not knowing how to explain or how to open up, but again I can't sleep and you will wake to find cold sheets again, I am sorry but I know or I hope you know it is nothing to do with you.**

**You said we don't talk about Rob and your right we don't, I am not sure that I can! What happened to Sarah, I know I wasn't me that beat her but sometimes I blame myself because I allowed us to be put in the position, I allowed my job to invade my home life.**

**After me and Sarah got home from the hospital, I shut down, I was closed off and Sarah became the parent. She handled what had happened far better than me. My Mother helped Sarah, I tried but when I looked in her face and her eyes I saw pain and I put it there, no one else but me.**

**It went on for weeks I wouldn't eat I wouldn't leave the house, I had closed myself off from everyone, they said they would have my back and they didn't Jennifer, they didn't care and that put Sarah in danger, one night I woke screaming from my sleep, Sarah had come to wake me to help me, I hit her! Me I hit my own child for god's sake, I became the monster, but yet she never shied away from me, I am not proud nor do I push it away but I hit her Jennifer because my dreams were more real than anything, so much happened not just Sarah getting taken, I did undercover work and let's just say my skin still crawls with what I had to do.**

**The night I tried to kill myself, it wasn't just because of shame and guilt, it was much worse, I had slept most the afternoon and Sarah had woke me, I went for a bath, finally feelings a little better, how wrong was I? I got out of the bath and went back downstairs, I remember looking out the window just staring, I never heard her, didn't even hear her as she walked behind me, the next thing I remembered was Sarah's voice screaming in pain, from what she told me, she had made me jump and my hand flew to her neck, that night after I tried to strangle my own flesh and blood I couldn't trust myself no more, I couldn't allow myself to be near her, what if I did something worse, what would have happened if I had killed her Jennifer. I was a monster.**

**Sarah didn't blame me though so I blamed myself more making myself believe that she didn't blame me because she feared me, so I blamed myself, I blamed myself for everything, I to a degree I was right… I had a great idea that was the night I knew she was better off without me she would be safe if I was dead.**

**Sarah found me, empty pill bottles and a few bottles of wine and my gun, I had passed out before I could pull that trigger, Sarah rung the medics and my Mother, It was after that I resigned from the CIA and started to work for the FBI, I still didn't trust people, I didn't trust them I worked with, and I had made a vow never to allow anyone to see Sarah with me again.**

**She understood she was enrolled into a private school and lived with my Mother so Sarah could blend in as one of the staffs children she still had nightmares and this, with Rob has brought her fears back, her pain, and worse of all you got hurt because yet again I couldn't do my job!**

**If I can't protect myself how can I protect you? I just seem to be bad luck and more so with them I love. Sarah hurt because of my job… you hurt because you saw, what if I hurt these babies? What if when I look at them all I see is him? What do we tell them about their dad? Do we lie or do we tell them, they are here because of a brutal act? How will that make them feel?**

**God Jennifer I am so scared what if I can't love them? What if I hurt them or worse? What if I hurt you? Would you all be better off without me? Are you going to be able to love them? What if you can't stay with me because I am dirty? I am tainted scum. What if**

JJ had turned in her sleep to find cold sheets again opening her eyes her heart sunk Emily had gone again from their bed she looked at the clock rubbing her eyes 3.42am she sighed softly as she got out of the bed grabbing her dressing gown, hoping she could get Emily to come back to bed and get some sleep, she had watched her all day as she struggled to talk to their friends she looked drawn and tired, JJ had guess in the past few days she must have only had around 6 hours sleep from the dark circles that shadowed her eyes and it broke her heart.

She made her way downstairs slowly the glow from under the dining room door told her Emily was in there, she made a stop in the kitchen to put the coffee machine on for them both, before heading to her. She stood at the door for a few moments hearing the soft cries of the woman she loved; opening the door she whispered "Emily" last thing she wanted to do was scare her.

Emily dropped her pen upon hearing her name she looked up with tears running down her face, but her eyes were blank, JJ walked slowly over to her "Come on Em" she said softly moving the pen and paper, before carefully taking hold of her hands, Emily shook her head slightly she looked at JJ then at the pad, before pushing it towards her "You want me to?" JJ asked as she kept hold of her other hand "I…" she looked down as she nodded. She knew she needed to allow her, she had promised her and deep down she knew if she let JJ in maybe she could help her overcome her fears, even if it wasn't everything for now it was enough.

JJ took her time reading what Emily had wrote keeping the brunette close to her she wiped a tear away that was rolling down her face as she finished before looking at her "Come on let's have a coffee and if you want we can talk about some of this" her voice was soft and kind and filled with love, Emily only looked at her as JJ pulled her up taking the pad in her other hand and walking into the kitchen.

She placed the cup in front of her which Emily wrapped her fingers around grateful of the heat that was slowly warming her, "Jennifer" she said weakly, she gave Emily a soft smile before she spoke "Emily do you know how proud I am of you?" Emily frowned slightly, part of her was confused and the other was thinking JJ had read the wrong letter "ww...hy?" JJ sat next to her placing the pad in front of them wrapping her hand around her waist so Emily could lean into her.

"I am proud for some many reasons Em, you did something that even I was worried you might not have done you are slowly letting me in and your trying and that makes me so proud of you, because you trust me enough to let me look at this and share what is going on in your beautiful mind" JJ said as Emily leaned into her.

"Sarah is strong because you are, and you need to stop punishing yourself for that" she said softly as Emily mumbled "How?" JJ kissed her brow "I want if you think you can and I can even be with you if you want, but you need to talk to someone about this, I don't have the answers, not all of them anyway, but I want to help I need to help you because I love you" she paused slightly "You wouldn't need to tell them about this" as she placed her hand on Emily's stomach "because I think, and I may be wrong, you need to deal with what happened with you and Sarah before you can fully deal with what Rob has done to you" JJ held her closer feeling Emily shuddered at the mention of Rob's name "Do you think you can do that or do you want to think about it?" JJ asked

Emily didn't answer straight away as she tried to control the tears that were falling "only if your with me" Emily finally whispered into her chest as JJ held her tighter "Already told you I'm not going anywhere" she said softly causing Emily to smile slightly "thank you" she let out in a breath.

"And as for this Emily, I am safe with you, so is Sarah, you didn't hurt me, can you try and understand that?" she asked softly but not waiting for her to reply "I already love our babies which are growing inside of you because Emily they are part of you, you are a good person a loving person, just because of how they came to be, will not change my feelings towards them or you, you are stuck with me Prentiss" she said in a firm but kind voice.

"I am so glad you don't hide from me and you let me see you, not the Emily we see at work, though I do feel Morgan knows you better than I do and yet I'm the one sleeping in your bed" JJ teased trying to make Emily calm down more in the hopes of getting her back to bed for a few more hours, "He doesn't know everything" Emily mused as the tears finally stopped falling "Let's take these upstairs, do you think you are going to be able to get some sleep baby, you look so tired" JJ said as she looked in her eyes, which now seemed to have life in them and not the blankness she had seen the past few months "I can try" Emily said as she tried to keep close to JJ which is hard when you have to move to get to bed.

Finally JJ had got her back into bed pulling her close so that her head rested on her chest so Emily could hear her heart beat as she spoke softly "Emily I'm not scared of you, so please stop worrying that you might hurt me because I know you won't" "Okay" Emily mumbled as she closed her eyes it was something she couldn't promise yet.


	64. Chapter 64

**Chapter 64**

**Location: Home**

**Date: 8/5/07 5.43am**

The past month they had made progress, Emily was now in therapy, which JJ sometimes went to with her, in truth all three of them now saw a therapist, it had helped Emily open up more though sometimes she had become plagued with nightmares but they were becoming less or at least as bad as before, they had gotten themselves into a nice routine, but this morning wasn't really part of their normal routine.

JJ was pulled out of her sleep my the phone drilling through the bedroom, though in her mind it wasn't a phone ringing she reached for Emily, but no the bed sheets where Emily slept were empty and only slightly warm, she groaned as she tried to locate her alarm, no still the noise came as she finally woke up reaching for the dreaded phone "Jareau" she answered her voice laden with sleep. "Okay we will be right in" she ended the call pulling herself straight out of the bed and heading to the bathroom.

She pulled up short once she had opened the door, slumped over the toilet seat was Emily her eyes were closed but the telling sign of why was all too clear, "Emily" she said softly as the brunette grunted "Can you, I need to" Emily opened her eyes and looked at JJ who was stood cross-legged and half dancing in the door way "Sorry "she mumbled as she moved so JJ could use the toilet.

JJ smiled softly as she finished her morning rituals "We have a case Em" she said as she walked back into the bedroom letting out a slight laugh as she look at the sight before her, Emily was laid out on the bed sprawled over the covers her eyes were glued on the not so small bump that protected their children, if it wasn't morning sickness that was waking Emily at all hours of the night it was her hormones that woke her, which in turn woke JJ.

"Em" she said in a half chuckle, trying to get Emily to move some mornings was hard enough, but when she had been up most the night vomiting well it was even harder. "I know" she groaned as she tried to sit back up "Little help over her?" she murmured, JJ rolled her eyes slightly as she helped Emily sit up kissing her softly "You are a beautiful sight" JJ teased gently, Emily smiled softly "Can you tell your children to behave" Emily whined, she had only managed to get just over three hours sleep she could normally cope on little sleep but in her words to JJ 'the added weight is killing me slowly'.

**Location: BAU**

Emily and JJ were the next to arrive after Hotch, even though they lived closer than him with Emily struggling some days to get out of bed or needing the toilet or the dreaded morning sickness it was as though they still lived in the Condo, Hotch greeted them both "Did you both see the file?" he asked as they sat at the table. "We did" JJ said slightly worried, they all knew how Morgan was going to react to the case.

Once Emily had started to show more Morgan had turned from best friend and partner in to an overly protective bear, and to put it nicely Emily just about gotten ready to kill him, if Hotch didn't take her fully out of active field duty, she was going to find another use for her gun and cuffs. And neither of which Hotch wanted to see, but this also meant that JJ was out in the field more and Emily didn't like this all that much, and with this case that they had landed she was on edge.

The rest arrived not long after, as JJ handed them all the files; "You're not serious are you?" Morgan asked as he looked at the case, Reid was muttering under his breathe but Emily could hear him, she rolled her eyes as she looked at JJ, Rossi looked at them all he too had become an over protective figure in their life, the more Emily had started showing, to the point of making Emily eat healthy food and enough for all three of them.

"As you can see we have four victims" JJ started but was interrupted by Morgan "This is a sick joke right?" "Morgan!" Hotch warned, allowing JJ continue "Each victim was 6 months pregnant when they were taken" Reid sighed "Have the babies been found?" "No, they haven't located them as of yet" JJ replied just as Reid started up again

"The lungs are developing branches of the respiratory tree and cells that produce surfactant. This is a substance that helps the air sacs inflate easily and also keeps the small air sacs in our lungs from collapsing. The baby practices breathing by inhaling amniotic fluid into developing lungs" He paused as he glanced at Emily "So if they were delivered and had no complications and were kept in intensive care environment, then yes a baby could survive"

Emily had paled slightly as Reid spoke her hand covering her mouth as Morgan clipped him on the back of his head "Enough" he warned. For all Reid's brains, he still lack the sense of when it was best not to spout off facts, luckily he hadn't said anything about percentage of the survival rate.

"We will talk more on the plane, wheels up in 30" Hotch said as he left the room, leaving his younger team members alone, "Emily" Morgan said carefully "Morgan don't" JJ said knowing what might have been coming, and really they could do without Emily being put into a foul mood.

**Location: BAU Jet**

They sat in silence as they had taken off, Emily was staring at the pictures and reading over the medical notes, her hand was unconsciously rubbing over her stomach as JJ watched her carefully, Emily's voice broke the silence "Reid how much knowledge would you need to do this?" she asked "Any one with basic surgery skills or medical knowledge could do this" Emily shook her head as he spoke again "What's bugging you?" she smiled slightly "The fact that they haven't been dumped they have been placed, the fact that they were covered, which shows remorse" Emily paused "You think we could be looking for a woman?" Morgan asked

"Yes I think we might be. A man" she looked at the team "No offense" she said as she carried on "Wouldn't take this much care, they would have dumped the bodies once they had gotten the baby from her, they would not have taken the time to lay her out covering her up, and if you can see past the blood that is, they are clean and well groomed, only a woman would take this amount of care"

Emily looked at them with a weak smile; this was one case she didn't want to be in the field for. "I think you may be right Emily" Hotch said, "Then we could be looking for someone who maybe had a miscarry" Emily cut Morgan off slightly "I'd lean more to someone who had a still born" She looked at Morgan as he frowned slightly before Reid spoke.

"Stillbirth is the death of an infant in-utero and past 20 completed gestational weeks. The majority of these deaths occur at or near full term — they are otherwise healthy babies that die shortly before or during birth. More than 26,000 babies are stillborn in the United States each year" "REID" JJ shouted as Emily began to pick at her nails. He looked at her and then at Emily "sorry" he said softly, this case was going to test them all.

The first day they had managed to give the profile to the locals and where waiting for Garcia to give them so new of the searches they had asked her to-do, Emily had become ratty as all the team were fussing over her and not allowing her anywhere on her own, even JJ was getting a little sick of the fussing.

JJ had just gotten back from giving a press conference as Emily blazed into the room spinning on her heels to glare at Morgan "I am going to get some god damn fresh air and I do not need you" She pointed her finger into his chest "To hold my hand, for god's sake I'm an adult not a child" with that she walked back out the room never noticing Hotch or JJ as she stepped out of the station.

JJ thought it was best to leave her for a moment before going and talking to her, but first she wanted to know why Emily was so angry "What the hell happened?" JJ asked as she looked at him, he look down at the floor, as Reid cut in to tell JJ "Emily needed the toilet and Morgan went to hold her hand" JJ glared at Morgan "You did what!" pinching the bridge of her nose

"Really Morgan, well in fact, this goes for all of you, she is pregnant not some china doll that needs to be wrapped up in bubble wrap. Do you know how you are making her and me feel she if 37 for god's sake not 17!" "JJ I" "Don't you dare Morgan, even I would not have gone with her to the toilet" her eyes blazed at him, she was beyond annoyed "Would you like it if I came and held your hand to pee?" Morgan held is head low, in his eyes Emily's temper was a breeze compared with JJ's.

JJ turned to leave the room "JJ where are you going?" Morgan asked as she opened the door "To find her, or have you all forgotten we have a homicidal woman on the loose, which has a thing for pregnant brunettes" she shouted as the door slammed behind her.

JJ walked out the station on the hope of finding Emily before they all came looking, her eyes focused on the bench her familiar form and shuddered breathe gave her away as JJ slowly made towards her.

JJ slightly slowing her pace down as she spotted another woman appeared out of the back end of the walkway. JJ stared at this other women watching her as JJ began to speed up towards Emily, the other woman was also making a beeline towards Emily and JJ had a sick feeling in her gut, she needed to get to Emily.

Her hand rested on the handle of her gun as she moved faster, her other hand had the phone to her ear "outside now" JJ said as soon a Hotch picked up. Emily looked up for a moment as she heard JJ's voice flow through the air, but it wasn't JJ's hand that rested on hers.

Emily's head flew round to see who had hold of her before she heard an all too familiar sound "FBI, Don't move" JJ said her voice firm and steady though she didn't feel it, this woman had her hands on Emily. They stared at each other as "Helen this is the FBI, let go of her and get on the ground" Hotch's voice boomed from behind JJ.

"You don't understand, she has to come with me" she shouted "Helen let her go, she has nothing to do with this, she is innocent" Rossi said as he also was flanking JJ, their guns were all pointed at her. She looked at the people in front of her for a moment as Emily's body tensed up completely. "You don't have to do this" Emily said softly "I do need to do this" she breathed.

"Let her go Helen" JJ said as she locked eyes with Emily, Emily nodded in her understanding, as she moved slightly to her left just as JJ said "This is your last chance, move away from her" JJ's voice had been dangerous, her gun was leveled at her shoulder as Emily moved slightly to give her more room.

"This is going to hurt" Emily muttered, just as JJ fired her gun dropping both women to the floor "We need a medic" JJ scream as her and Morgan raced over to Emily and Helen, placing two fingers on her pulse point Morgan shook his head, his eyes going wide in shock as JJ pushed down on Emily; the blood seeping through her fingers.


	65. Chapter 65

**Chapter 65**

**Location: Car park**

**Date: 10/5/07 2.03pm**

"Where is that medic" Morgan yelled as JJ struggled to stem the blood the was seeping out "Look at me Em" JJ said softly keeping her eyes on Emily, as Emily focused on the blonde "Don't you dare close them eyes" she smiled weakly at her as Emily went to talk "Shh sweetie help is coming" JJ said.

Morgan scolded her from the side "You shot her, you shot her JJ, what the hell" JJ closed her eyes as the gravelly voice caught his ear "don't, not her fault" JJ had to stop herself from laughing as Morgan looked at her confused "Not her fault? She fired the damned gun" he said firmly

"Morgan" Hotch called from behind him pulling him away from his two friends, he shook his head slightly as he looked at him "Where the medics?" "They are on the way" Hotch replied as he watched Rossi kneel down at JJ's side.

"How is she doing kiddo" he asked softly, Emily blinked, as they heard the ambulance's sirens, JJ gave a half-smile before looking at him "She needs to learn to move over a little more next time" JJ said as she winked at Emily.

They were interrupted as the medic kindly asked them to move. "Excuse me ma'am" he said softly we need to get her to "I know and I will be coming with you" she stated as she looked at Rossi "We will meet you there kiddo" he said as he walked back over to the rest of the team

"She shot her Hotch! How can you just stand there and why does it not worry you?" Rossi chuckled slightly "let's go and catch them up, Morgan, Prentiss will be fine" he said as they walked over to the cars. Reid stood at the car door "She really shot her?" his voice sounding very unsure.

JJ groaned as she heard Emily over and over telling the doctors to get off her and leave her alone, she had been ushered out of the room under protest, the rest of the team walked over to JJ as she paced in the small area. "JJ is she…" Morgan paused as he heard a very angry voice rip through the corridor. "That's it I'm going back in there" JJ said as she headed towards Emily's room.

**(Meanwhile in the treatment room)**

"We just need to check that your baby is unharmed, you lost a lot of blood" the doctor tried again "I said get off me I am fine" "Ma'am you have been shot, you have lost a lot of blood we need to check to make sure your baby is okay" he insisted "And I am telling you NO Damn it!" Emily shouted getting more and more stressed "Ma'am by-law we have to check" "I KNOW WHAT THE DAMN LAW IS AND STILL NO!"

"Excuse me ma'am you can't be in here" the doctor said as JJ opened the door "If you want to check on the wealth fare of OUR children then I can be here" JJ said very firmly, she knew why Emily was reluctant to allow them to do the ultra sound. The doctor's jaw opened slightly "You shot your partner?" he said in disbelief "No she didn't move over enough" JJ stated again. As she walked over to Emily

"Sweetie let them check please, I want to know I haven't hurt them before they are born" JJ said softly as Emily grumbled slightly "Okay to hurt me but not them" as she turned her face away allowing them to open her shirt.

A slight gasp could be heard as the doctor saw the scars that marred her skin. "Is there a problem?" JJ asked as she looked at him "No ma'am" he said slightly unsure "this will be cold" he warned as he smeared the gel on her lower stomach

"You have two very healthy little ones" he said as they listened to the sound of the hearts beating through the screen "Thank you" Emily said, a lot calmer now that JJ was at her side, as she gripped a little tighter.

"How bad is her arm?" JJ asked the doctor as he moved slightly "Through and through, light duties for a few weeks, then it will have to be re-examined, but it should be fully healed within a month, but you will have to have some physio on the arm once it has healed" he said looking at her.

Emily scowled at him and grumbled her thanks, the doctor left the room to get the papers as JJ fastened up Emily's shirt "Sorry baby" JJ said softly "I knew it was going to hurt" Emily smiled "It's okay sweetie I promise" Emily assured JJ

"How are you feeling?" Morgan asked as he walked down the corridor with her, while JJ and the team pulled the cars to the entry doors "Like I got shot" Emily joked before looking at worried and sad eyes "Morgan, what is it" Emily said as they paused "She shot you and your fine with that?" he said his voice showing hurt and controlled anger and worry "I am, but why aren't you?" Emily asked, he looked at her for a moment before wrapping one arm around her "I nearly lost you once princess, I can't do it again" Morgan admitted

"Derek listen to me please" Emily said as she looked straight into his eyes "I knew she was going to have to shoot, I also knew the only way for it to happen was for the bullet to go through me hence I moved slightly" she looked down at her arm and shook her head "I just didn't move enough" "that's what she said" he admitted "Don't be mad at her please, she was just doing her job"

Emily walked with him out towards the car he looked at JJ and smiled slightly as she spoke "We good?" Morgan nodded "A little warning next time" he teased. Emily looked at them both "No next time please" she said as JJ helped her in the car "Next time you will move further" JJ joked as Emily slapped her with her good hand.

**Location: BAU Jet**

Emily was sat facing JJ as she studied her face she spoke softly "Jennifer" JJ looked at her giving a half-smile before staring at her arm "talk to me sweetie" Emily said in a low voice as JJ shook her head slightly before answering very softly "I shot you" Emily reached over taking her hand in her own "don't you dare beat yourself up about this, it wasn't your fault, if you hadn't of taken the shot" Emily paused as her voice rose slightly "Jennifer you're the only person I know who could have taken that shot and not missed" she said focusing on her eyes, "what if I had" "but you didn't sweetie" Emily pulled her hand up towards her lips and placed a soft kiss on her knuckles.

JJ had moved next to Emily so she could relax and get some sleep, Hotch smiled at JJ looking at the now sleeping brunette who was leaning against her shoulder JJ fingers were running through her hair as she looked at her boss "Are you okay?" He asked keeping his voice low as he sat across from her "I guess, I thought she would have at least been you know mad" he shook his head as he spoke "JJ you took a very hard shot today and even Reid will tell you, from where we were you was the only person who could have taken it without it ending with two fatalities, instead of just one, Emily trusts you JJ, she doesn't blame you. And you shouldn't blame yourself either"

He stood up walking to her side resting a hand on her shoulder as he spoke "You was the only person she wanted and I bet if you asked her she hates that you had to make that shoot because you love each other and more importantly she trusts you" a small smile spread across JJ's face as he spoke feeling Emily move next to her she turned as Hotch walked back to his seat with Rossi "Think they will be okay?" he asked quietly "They will, they have something you don't see very often" Hotch said as he looked at his two agents, his two friends.

Emily stirred slightly before trying to stretch her arms forgetting that one was in a sling "Shit" she muttered as JJ looked at her "Emily" Emily turned and looked at her "Hey sweetie, you okay?" JJ nodded before kissing her softly; though everyone in the team knew they were a couple they never displayed their affection too each other outside their home it was a silent agreement between them both "Jen, I think we really need to talk to the boys because if they carry on I will be using them as target practice" Emily mused,

They still had another hour on the plane so since they had no where they could hide to, JJ thought it would be better to do it now than try when they got back to the BAU. "Guys can me and Emily have a word please" JJ said causing them to all crowd around where they were sat.

"First off" Emily started "If anyone has a problem with what happened today then you see me not Jennifer, she does not make a habit out of shooting me" she glared slightly at Morgan, "And the second thing is, I am pregnant, I am not ill, I do not need my hand-held, I do not need you hovering over me like I am about to break" Emily paused as she looked at them JJ rested her hand on her leg and squeezed it slightly

"We love you guys you are our family but this constantly treating us both like children is driving us both insane" JJ looked at them "We love you all so much and you have and are supporting us so much more than you know but" Rossi held his hands up as he spoke "Sorry I didn't realise we were suffocating you both we just worry" he said kindly.

Emily looked at him for a moment "I know we don't talk about what happened and right now I can't either" Emily closed her eyes it was one thing JJ seeing this side of her and a total other thing when her friends saw it, "But that doesn't mean I am going to break or that Jennifer is going to break either, we need you all but we also need to be able to breathe without Morgan thinking I am over tried" JJ cut in "If I blow my nose is doesn't mean I have been crying either" she looked at her friends their family "Please don't take offense at this we love you so much" Morgan looked at them both and nodded "Sorry I will try to be a little less protective" Emily laughed "Thank you"

They group disappeared back to their own seats but Hotch stayed close as he moved to sit across from them both "I am sorry we have made you feel like this, we just want to help because neither of you came to us before and this" he looked down at Emily's small bump "is something we all want to keep safe and away from harm" he smiled softly at them both before speaking to them all. "Finish your paperwork when you get back and we can debrief so we can have a long weekend, JJ can you help Prentiss write hers up" He said looking at her arm "I will" she smiled

**Location: BAU**

The team was finally back and Emily for one was not looking forward to seeing Garcia, if anyone got hurt on the team it always affected her badly, but even JJ was slightly reluctant to see her, it was Emily who had been hurt and she had been hurt by JJ, "I have spoken to her you know" Morgan said behind them both causing them to turn around "Told her to go easy on you both and not to worry" he smiled softly

"How did that conversation end?" Emily asked knowing full well what Garcia would have said as the doors to the elevators opened, there stood Garcia to greet them, Emily kept hold of JJ's hand, and she really didn't want JJ getting the blame off anyone for her being hurt

Garcia looked at them both for a moment "Oh Emily" she said softly as she looked at her arm before her eyes narrowed at JJ "You, You, How could you" Emily stood in front of JJ and stared at her for a moment "Don't Garcia, this was not her fault and I will not have anyone blaming her" Garcia closed her mouth before she spoke "Sarah is in the kitchen" With that Garcia walked into the bullpen calling her over.

"Nice sling Mom" Sarah teased as she looked at JJ and smiled "She really is a good shot mom" Sarah said, as she looked at the rest of the team and laughed, before she turned to JJ "Jennifer please tell me mom didn't shot the doctors?" "No but it was close" JJ teased as Emily rolled her eyes looking at the Morgan and Garcia, whose jaws were slightly jarred. She chuckled slightly before turning to JJ with a slight look of concern showing on her face "Jennifer a woman called for you and asked you to ring her, she was very off-handed with me" "Did she leave a name?" JJ asked as she looked at Sarah "Sandy" "Oh thanks" JJ said softly


	66. Chapter 66

**Chapter 67**

**Location: Home**

**Date: 28/5/07 9.15am**

"Come on Jennifer I don't want to be late" Emily shouted from the kitchen "Not my fault you turned the damn alarm off is it" JJ grumbled as she walked downstairs "I want to make sure everything is you know" Emily said, even though she knew everything was okay, when the day came for the scan Emily was always nervous and slightly agitated. "Right I'm ready" JJ said as she walked into the kitchen smiling softly.

Within 20 minutes they were sat in the waiting room waiting to be seen "Jennifer are you sure about this, I mean I am going to be huge and do you really want to be walking down the aisle with a beach whale" Emily said in a low voice "I am sure and plus your mother will be back then as well I do not care how big you are you are still s damn sexy" JJ smirked.

So far Sarah and Sandy had managed to find somewhere to have the ceremony and then the reception had become the thorn in their side, Elizabeth wanted it on the estate, Rossi had offered to have it at his mansion and well Emily and JJ just wanted their friends back to their house for a few drinks and some food and right now Emily and JJ were losing with Elizabeth.

"But I am already 5 months, I will be at 7 months then" Emily stated "Well we could always bring it forward so you will be just shy of 7 months" JJ said though it really didn't matter to her as long as they got married. "Well just think about it Emily" she said softly "I just want you happy and I just this whole debating where to have the reception if I am honest, I would rather have the team fussing over us again" Emily admitted

"I still can't believe you gave them a ten thousand dollar budget" JJ said just as the nurse call Emily's name "saved by the nurse she smirked as she got up and started to walk over keeping hold of JJ's hand "Oh you're so not saved Miss Prentiss" JJ teased as they entered the room

"If you would like to lay on the bed and lift your blouse" The nurse said as she smiled, Emily hadn't seen this nurse before and she was a little reluctant, she was uncomfortable with anyone seeing her body, unless it is JJ, JJ held her hand as she looked at the nurse "Can you just give us a moment please" She smiled softly as the nurse nodded giving them some privacy.

"You okay sweetie" JJ said softly as she helped Emily get comfy on the bed "No" she half smiled "I just, well you know" "Em I am sure she has read your notes and I am here okay, you just look at that screen for me" JJ said as the nurse knocked on the door before entering "Are you both ready" she said smiling, Emily nodded her head as the nurse looked at her with some concern "Are you okay Miss Prentiss" she asked as JJ answered "She is okay" the nurse lifted her blouse up revealing the not so small bump, she smiled softly at both women and JJ felt Emily relax slightly.

"Right this is going to feel cold" she said as she placed the gel on to her stomach "The doctor has said if you would like a picture and a dvd of this scan today" she smiled warmly as both women stared at the screen watching the babies move slightly, as their heartbeats filled the room. The nurse laughed slightly as JJ turned to look at her "Have you thought of any names yet" The nurse asked as they both nodded "yeah we have a few picked out" JJ said softly as she watched the screen "Well everything looks good here, they are growing correctly, I would suggest taking it easy now as with twins it puts a lot more strain on your body" Emily nodded

"Is it normal to still have morning sickness" Emily asked as the nurse sighed softly "Some people are lucky and it goes after the first trimester, but some have it all the way through I am sorry to say, as long as you are able to keep some down then it is not a concern" she said. "Thanks" Emily said as she closed her eyes "Had you been given a date for your C-section yet?"

"She said we could leave it till later" Emily said as JJ pulled her blouse over her stomach which in turn made Emily look at the nurse for the first time since she came back in to the room. "Right well if you can just wait here for a few more minutes I will get finish the dvd and you can take it home with you" she smiled as she left the room.

Finally they were on their way back home "Em seriously why did you give them such a big budget" JJ asked as she glanced at her "Well aside from wanting the best for you, if I give a big budget, I have less chance of Sarah going over the top with it, she won't spend it all" Emily smirked "So how much do you think it will cost "Oh around the 5 thousand mark" Emily laughed the more money she gave Sarah the less she would spend, and even Emily admitted her daughter was very strange like that.

"How on earth do you come up with, she will only spend half of it?" JJ asked somewhat puzzled, Emily rested her hand on JJ's leg as she spoke "Well aside from her being strange, I remember when she was 16, she wanted to hold a party for her friends at school and wanted this huge ballroom which would have cost over 20 for the evening, that was including the food drinks and limos, I told her no in a sense and then it came to me to give her a budget and let her see the money"

Emily laughed softly "She saw the money and her eyes went wide in shock, I then told her it was her budget for the next three months and if she wanted to spend it all on one thing then she could, but I also warned her she would have nothing for three months" JJ looked at her "20 thousand for three months?" JJ jaw dropped as Emily carried on "Yes school fees and money to get there and back, plus for clothes and going out with her friends" Emily laughed "You really think I would give her that much of an allowance" JJ shook her head "That is just cruel" she replied "well anyway once I had told her this, she still went ahead with the party but she only spent, if I remember correctly 5 grand on it, but she learnt that anytime I give her a budget she would lose out on something" Emily smirked "One way to teach a kid the meaning of money" JJ said

They had arrived home to be greeted by a hyper active Sarah and Sandy just looked harassed "Mom, Mommy!" Sarah screeched from the kitchen as she went to attack her mother in the hall way "Whoa! What's going on?" Emily said as she eyed her daughter up "I got it, I mean I did it" she rushed out as JJ asked "what are you going on about?" Sandy came into the hallway and looked at JJ "she has been like this since she got here" she said softly as Sarah carried on bouncing "Sarah calm down would you" Emily said as she stared at her

Sarah looked at her for a moment before shaking her head "No I can't MOM I got into Georgetown!" she more or less shout as Emily looked at her in shock before grinning like mad "You did it sweetheart you did " Emily said as she wrapped her arms around her "I am so proud of you baby" Emily said as she as she wiped the tear away which was rolling down Sarah's face "I did it mom" she whispered as she finally handed her the letter.

JJ put the coffee machine on for them, Sandy wrapped her arm around JJ "That is great news, but what is she studying?" she asked "Law and I think she may be doing another one but Law is all she talks about mom, I am so proud of her" JJ said as she watched Sarah bounce around Emily who looked like she could kill her daughter any second "Sarah, not to burst your bubble but can you let your mom get off her feet please" JJ said as she laughed.

"Oh sorry mom" Sarah said as she finally let Emily walk into the kitchen so she could sit down "Thanks" Emily sighed as she sat down as JJ placed everyone a drink on the table before standing behind Emily rubbing her shoulders, Emily turned to look up at her and smiled "Your too good to me sweetheart" Emily said softly as Sandy watched them both carefully.

"You two kept that quite" JJ mused at them both "I only told mom the other day and asked her not to say anything just in case" Sarah admitted "Well congratulations Sarah" JJ smiled as Sandy placed her hand on Sarah's shoulder both Emily and JJ tensed slightly.

Though Sarah was the calmer and more placid of the two if someone other the Emily Elizabeth and now JJ touched her she would either panic or run, with all the therapy they were both doing Sarah had become just as skittish as Emily was when they were alone or with others, though both of them had now settled with the team Sarah still held back she didn't trust them.

Sarah for her part flinched slightly as Sandy touched her before looking at the older lady "Thanks" she frowned slightly before looking at her mom and JJ "Can I ask you all something, I know I maybe an adult but" she trailed of finding the invisible lint more interesting, Emily smiled slightly "You maybe 21 but your still my baby" Emily said looking at her now embarrassed daughter "can I well if you want, I mean it's okay to say no but" JJ shook her head "Sarah how many times do I need to say, if you want an answer you have to say what it is so we can reply, worse we can say is no" JJ smirked slightly

And time Sarah wanted to ask JJ something she became tongue-tied and with Sandy there she was worse, but JJ for her part was always patience with her, Sarah sighed slightly as she look towards the door then back at JJ "Want to tell me in private?" JJ asked as she watched her, which earned her a nod "Okay come on sweetie" JJ said as they both walked into the dining room.

"What is it Sarah" Sarah smiled weakly "well on the admissions form it asks for my parents name and well for their contact and well" JJ rested her arm on Sarah's "Well Emily is your contact" Sarah sighed as she tried again "But if I can't get hold of mom can I put you down and list you as my mom as well?" Sarah asked as JJ looked on in shock before answering "Of course you can, if you want to though" "I do JJ I mean I already see you as a mom I know I'm independent, but I also know you care and will do anything for me" Sarah looked at her sadly before looking at the floor.

"What else is the matter Sarah" JJ asked noticing there was more to come "if your mom here and well friends come you think I can, I mean" Sarah paused, JJ smiled softly she would admit that Sarah was old enough to run her own life as she saw fit, but sometimes she was a shy insecure child that needed reassurance and someone to just listen to her and in her eyes JJ was that person, she made her mom happy she had also grown to love her, but also part of her worried when the babies were born and got older they might question why she calls her JJ "So if you well" "Sarah take a breath and slow down okay" JJ said as she placed her hand on her arm.

Sarah took a deep breath and tried to calm down her mind was screaming her to run that she would get hurt, but looking in to JJ's eyes she saw nothing but love and concern "Can I call you ma? And if Sandy lets me gran?" Sarah said looking down at the floor waiting for her to say no, JJ smiled and wrapped her arms around her as she whispered "I already class you as my daughter" Sarah cried softly hearing JJ's words and letting them sink in, she really did love her like her mom did, JJ rubbed her back as she spoke "Let's go and see what my mom says" JJ smiled wiping the tears from her cheeks "thank you" she muttered as they walked back into the kitchen.

"Is everything okay?" Emily asked as she looked at them both, and she could tell straight away Sarah had been crying she frowned at JJ but JJ just ignored her for the moment "Mom, Sarah has something she would like to ask you" JJ said carefully as she wrapped her around Sarah's waist giving her support.

Sarah took a deep breath leaning in slightly to JJ "I was, well with JJ and mom getting married" she stumbled over her words badly as JJ spoke softly "You want me to" Sarah just nodded as JJ pulled her closer "Mom, you can say no if you want and we will understand but this is important to Sarah" Sandy nodded looking at a now very shy Sarah and her daughter had a look that said don't hurt her written across her face.

"Sarah has asked if she can call me Ma" she paused as she smiled at Emily, who now had a goofy smile stretched across her face "And she wants to know if she, well if you will allow her to call you Gran" Sandy looked at them both as she shook her slightly causing Sarah to look at the floor, before she spoke.

Sandy had become very fond of Sarah over the past few days, in some respect Sarah reminded her of JJ's older sister, her shyness and her enthusiasm she had but in she was so much like Emily it was uncanny and she understood why the team referred to her as mini Emily.

"I think that she needs to ask me" Sandy said as she winked at JJ, she got up and walked over to her "Sarah? You have something to ask me?" she said softly "I well" she mumbled still looking at the ground "Can you look at me please" Sandy said as she placed her hand on her arm again, she smiled softly as she didn't flinch this time. Sad eyes met soft blue eyes; Sandy smiled at her softly as Sarah looked at her "Well?" she tried again waiting for Sarah to find her voice.

Watching her like this Sandy was reminded of a small child who was scared of rejection, of pain and uncertainty that came with life, but she pushed again "Sarah talk to me, I promise I won't bite" she tease causing the brunette to laugh slightly , she nodded as she finally found her voice "can I call you gran?" Sandy smiled as she answered "No, but you can call me Nan instead, gran sounds old" she teased as Sarah shocked them all as she wrapped her arms around Sandy.


	67. Chapter 67

**Chapter 67**

**Location: Home**

**Date: 28/5/07 9.15am**

"Come on Jennifer I don't want to be late" Emily shouted from the kitchen "Not my fault you turned the damn alarm off is it" JJ grumbled as she walked downstairs "I want to make sure everything is you know" Emily said, even though she knew everything was okay, when the day came for the scan Emily was always nervous and slightly agitated. "Right I'm ready" JJ said as she walked into the kitchen smiling softly.

Within 20 minutes they were sat in the waiting room waiting to be seen "Jennifer are you sure about this, I mean I am going to be huge and do you really want to be walking down the aisle with a beach whale" Emily said in a low voice "I am sure and plus your mother will be back then as well I do not care how big you are you are still s damn sexy" JJ smirked.

So far Sarah and Sandy had managed to find somewhere to have the ceremony and then the reception had become the thorn in their side, Elizabeth wanted it on the estate, Rossi had offered to have it at his mansion and well Emily and JJ just wanted their friends back to their house for a few drinks and some food and right now Emily and JJ were losing with Elizabeth.

"But I am already 5 months, I will be at 7 months then" Emily stated "Well we could always bring it forward so you will be just shy of 7 months" JJ said though it really didn't matter to her as long as they got married. "Well just think about it Emily" she said softly "I just want you happy and I just this whole debating where to have the reception if I am honest, I would rather have the team fussing over us again" Emily admitted

"I still can't believe you gave them a ten thousand dollar budget" JJ said just as the nurse call Emily's name "saved by the nurse she smirked as she got up and started to walk over keeping hold of JJ's hand "Oh you're so not saved Miss Prentiss" JJ teased as they entered the room

"If you would like to lay on the bed and lift your blouse" The nurse said as she smiled, Emily hadn't seen this nurse before and she was a little reluctant, she was uncomfortable with anyone seeing her body, unless it is JJ, JJ held her hand as she looked at the nurse "Can you just give us a moment please" She smiled softly as the nurse nodded giving them some privacy.

"You okay sweetie" JJ said softly as she helped Emily get comfy on the bed "No" she half smiled "I just, well you know" "Em I am sure she has read your notes and I am here okay, you just look at that screen for me" JJ said as the nurse knocked on the door before entering "Are you both ready" she said smiling, Emily nodded her head as the nurse looked at her with some concern "Are you okay Miss Prentiss" she asked as JJ answered "She is okay" the nurse lifted her blouse up revealing the not so small bump, she smiled softly at both women and JJ felt Emily relax slightly.

"Right this is going to feel cold" she said as she placed the gel on to her stomach "The doctor has said if you would like a picture and a dvd of this scan today" she smiled warmly as both women stared at the screen watching the babies move slightly, as their heartbeats filled the room. The nurse laughed slightly as JJ turned to look at her "Have you thought of any names yet" The nurse asked as they both nodded "yeah we have a few picked out" JJ said softly as she watched the screen "Well everything looks good here, they are growing correctly, I would suggest taking it easy now as with twins it puts a lot more strain on your body" Emily nodded

"Is it normal to still have morning sickness" Emily asked as the nurse sighed softly "Some people are lucky and it goes after the first trimester, but some have it all the way through I am sorry to say, as long as you are able to keep some down then it is not a concern" she said. "Thanks" Emily said as she closed her eyes "Had you been given a date for your C-section yet?"

"She said we could leave it till later" Emily said as JJ pulled her blouse over her stomach which in turn made Emily look at the nurse for the first time since she came back in to the room. "Right well if you can just wait here for a few more minutes I will get finish the dvd and you can take it home with you" she smiled as she left the room.

Finally they were on their way back home "Em seriously why did you give them such a big budget" JJ asked as she glanced at her "Well aside from wanting the best for you, if I give a big budget, I have less chance of Sarah going over the top with it, she won't spend it all" Emily smirked "So how much do you think it will cost "Oh around the 5 thousand mark" Emily laughed the more money she gave Sarah the less she would spend, and even Emily admitted her daughter was very strange like that.

"How on earth do you come up with, she will only spend half of it?" JJ asked somewhat puzzled, Emily rested her hand on JJ's leg as she spoke "Well aside from her being strange, I remember when she was 16, she wanted to hold a party for her friends at school and wanted this huge ballroom which would have cost over 20 for the evening, that was including the food drinks and limos, I told her no in a sense and then it came to me to give her a budget and let her see the money"

Emily laughed softly "She saw the money and her eyes went wide in shock, I then told her it was her budget for the next three months and if she wanted to spend it all on one thing then she could, but I also warned her she would have nothing for three months" JJ looked at her "20 thousand for three months?" JJ jaw dropped as Emily carried on "Yes school fees and money to get there and back, plus for clothes and going out with her friends" Emily laughed "You really think I would give her that much of an allowance" JJ shook her head "That is just cruel" she replied "well anyway once I had told her this, she still went ahead with the party but she only spent, if I remember correctly 5 grand on it, but she learnt that anytime I give her a budget she would lose out on something" Emily smirked "One way to teach a kid the meaning of money" JJ said

They had arrived home to be greeted by a hyper active Sarah and Sandy just looked harassed "Mom, Mommy!" Sarah screeched from the kitchen as she went to attack her mother in the hall way "Whoa! What's going on?" Emily said as she eyed her daughter up "I got it, I mean I did it" she rushed out as JJ asked "what are you going on about?" Sandy came into the hallway and looked at JJ "she has been like this since she got here" she said softly as Sarah carried on bouncing "Sarah calm down would you" Emily said as she stared at her

Sarah looked at her for a moment before shaking her head "No I can't MOM I got into Georgetown!" she more or less shout as Emily looked at her in shock before grinning like mad "You did it sweetheart you did " Emily said as she wrapped her arms around her "I am so proud of you baby" Emily said as she as she wiped the tear away which was rolling down Sarah's face "I did it mom" she whispered as she finally handed her the letter.

JJ put the coffee machine on for them, Sandy wrapped her arm around JJ "That is great news, but what is she studying?" she asked "Law and I think she may be doing another one but Law is all she talks about mom, I am so proud of her" JJ said as she watched Sarah bounce around Emily who looked like she could kill her daughter any second "Sarah, not to burst your bubble but can you let your mom get off her feet please" JJ said as she laughed.

"Oh sorry mom" Sarah said as she finally let Emily walk into the kitchen so she could sit down "Thanks" Emily sighed as she sat down as JJ placed everyone a drink on the table before standing behind Emily rubbing her shoulders, Emily turned to look up at her and smiled "Your too good to me sweetheart" Emily said softly as Sandy watched them both carefully.

"You two kept that quite" JJ mused at them both "I only told mom the other day and asked her not to say anything just in case" Sarah admitted "Well congratulations Sarah" JJ smiled as Sandy placed her hand on Sarah's shoulder both Emily and JJ tensed slightly.

Though Sarah was the calmer and more placid of the two if someone other the Emily Elizabeth and now JJ touched her she would either panic or run, with all the therapy they were both doing Sarah had become just as skittish as Emily was when they were alone or with others, though both of them had now settled with the team Sarah still held back she didn't trust them.

Sarah for her part flinched slightly as Sandy touched her before looking at the older lady "Thanks" she frowned slightly before looking at her mom and JJ "Can I ask you all something, I know I maybe an adult but" she trailed of finding the invisible lint more interesting, Emily smiled slightly "You maybe 21 but your still my baby" Emily said looking at her now embarrassed daughter "can I well if you want, I mean it's okay to say no but" JJ shook her head "Sarah how many times do I need to say, if you want an answer you have to say what it is so we can reply, worse we can say is no" JJ smirked slightly

And time Sarah wanted to ask JJ something she became tongue-tied and with Sandy there she was worse, but JJ for her part was always patience with her, Sarah sighed slightly as she look towards the door then back at JJ "Want to tell me in private?" JJ asked as she watched her, which earned her a nod "Okay come on sweetie" JJ said as they both walked into the dining room.

"What is it Sarah" Sarah smiled weakly "well on the admissions form it asks for my parents name and well for their contact and well" JJ rested her arm on Sarah's "Well Emily is your contact" Sarah sighed as she tried again "But if I can't get hold of mom can I put you down and list you as my mom as well?" Sarah asked as JJ looked on in shock before answering "Of course you can, if you want to though" "I do JJ I mean I already see you as a mom I know I'm independent, but I also know you care and will do anything for me" Sarah looked at her sadly before looking at the floor.

"What else is the matter Sarah" JJ asked noticing there was more to come "if your mom here and well friends come you think I can, I mean" Sarah paused, JJ smiled softly she would admit that Sarah was old enough to run her own life as she saw fit, but sometimes she was a shy insecure child that needed reassurance and someone to just listen to her and in her eyes JJ was that person, she made her mom happy she had also grown to love her, but also part of her worried when the babies were born and got older they might question why she calls her JJ "So if you well" "Sarah take a breath and slow down okay" JJ said as she placed her hand on her arm.

Sarah took a deep breath and tried to calm down her mind was screaming her to run that she would get hurt, but looking in to JJ's eyes she saw nothing but love and concern "Can I call you ma? And if Sandy lets me gran?" Sarah said looking down at the floor waiting for her to say no, JJ smiled and wrapped her arms around her as she whispered "I already class you as my daughter" Sarah cried softly hearing JJ's words and letting them sink in, she really did love her like her mom did, JJ rubbed her back as she spoke "Let's go and see what my mom says" JJ smiled wiping the tears from her cheeks "thank you" she muttered as they walked back into the kitchen.

"Is everything okay?" Emily asked as she looked at them both, and she could tell straight away Sarah had been crying she frowned at JJ but JJ just ignored her for the moment "Mom, Sarah has something she would like to ask you" JJ said carefully as she wrapped her around Sarah's waist giving her support.

Sarah took a deep breath leaning in slightly to JJ "I was, well with JJ and mom getting married" she stumbled over her words badly as JJ spoke softly "You want me to" Sarah just nodded as JJ pulled her closer "Mom, you can say no if you want and we will understand but this is important to Sarah" Sandy nodded looking at a now very shy Sarah and her daughter had a look that said don't hurt her written across her face.

"Sarah has asked if she can call me Ma" she paused as she smiled at Emily, who now had a goofy smile stretched across her face "And she wants to know if she, well if you will allow her to call you Gran" Sandy looked at them both as she shook her slightly causing Sarah to look at the floor, before she spoke.

Sandy had become very fond of Sarah over the past few days, in some respect Sarah reminded her of JJ's older sister, her shyness and her enthusiasm she had but in she was so much like Emily it was uncanny and she understood why the team referred to her as mini Emily.

"I think that she needs to ask me" Sandy said as she winked at JJ, she got up and walked over to her "Sarah? You have something to ask me?" she said softly "I well" she mumbled still looking at the ground "Can you look at me please" Sandy said as she placed her hand on her arm again, she smiled softly as she didn't flinch this time. Sad eyes met soft blue eyes; Sandy smiled at her softly as Sarah looked at her "Well?" she tried again waiting for Sarah to find her voice.

Watching her like this Sandy was reminded of a small child who was scared of rejection, of pain and uncertainty that came with life, but she pushed again "Sarah talk to me, I promise I won't bite" she tease causing the brunette to laugh slightly , she nodded as she finally found her voice "can I call you gran?" Sandy smiled as she answered "No, but you can call me Nan instead, gran sounds old" she teased as Sarah shocked them all as she wrapped her arms around Sandy.


	68. Chapter 68

**Chapter 68**

**Location: Home**

**Date 1/6/07 6.30am**

"You did what!" Emily's voice ripped through the house "Do you hate me that bloody much, what was you thinking" she shouted "In fact do not even answer that, I thought you had some brains but no you have to damn well insult me!" JJ looked in shock from the doorway.

She had seen Emily pissed off, mad as hell, upset, in fact she had seen nearly every side of her but this shocked her, she placed her hand out of her mouth to keep the gasp inside, as Emily continued "Just what was you thinking inviting him, him of all people!" her voice married or the path of evil and hateful as her words ripped through the air.

"What the hell did I do to make you think that inviting him would be expectable?" Sandy took a breath as she whispered in JJ's ear "What's gone on?" JJ shook her head as they both kept out of Emily's way "I have no clue but I have never seen her this angry" JJ whispered

"Did me and your grandmother do something wrong that made you do this?" Sarah sighed softly as she looked at her mother who at this point had gone past mad to boiling mad in the space of half an hour. "Well aside from the fact he is family, he also has a right to be there" she said as calmly as she could, she really didn't get why her mother was so angry at her.

"He gave up that right! He give up any right to be in my life the day he cheated on Mom and told me I was an disgrace to the family and I should have had you aborted" Emily stopped putting her hand over her mouth "what did you say Mom?" Sarah said; she knew her mom and grandfather never got on, but he loved her and this just made her head spin.

Emily was so mad she never meant for that to come out "Sarah" she said softly looking at her daughter "He wanted you to what" Emily sighed "he said it, you was born and he changed his mind about you, there isn't anything more" she sighed "I can't believe you never told me" Sarah said as JJ made herself known to them both

"You knew?" Sarah asked JJ, "Not really, but with what your mom told me I had an idea" she admitted "But really Sarah what made you ask him?" JJ asked calmly "He always says he's proud of mom and that he wishes they could sort things out and put the past behind them" JJ shook her head "Some things are not that simple though, but I will have to agree with your mom he is not welcome at our wedding or at our home" JJ said firmly.

"Now since you have woken everyone in this house up, can we please get some coffee" JJ said as she looked at Sarah. "Mom I am so sorry" Sarah said as she walked over to Emily, who had managed to calm down "I never wanted you to know that Sarah" Sarah nodded as they all sat around the breakfast table as Sandy and JJ made them all a drink and Sandy started on making breakfast.

"Why did you allow me to see him" Sarah asked looking at Emily "Just because I want nothing to do with him" she shook her head "I could not deny you the right to know your own family" Emily stated Sarah just nodded as she let the information sink in, she had hoped inviting him would give him and Emily a chance to talk but now she would have to tell him he wasn't welcome.

JJ moved the plates as Sandy told her to go sit back down, JJ really wished they could just relax but not today they had to be in work for 9 and it was already 8.15 now "Em we are going to be late" she smiled softly as Emily stood up nodding "Sarah are we" Sarah cut her off "We are" she smiled as JJ rolled her eyes, they always either finished each overs sentences or never let the other one finish.

Sandy laughed "reminds me of you and Mark" she mused as Emily's eyes grew wide "Who is Mark?" she asked again, she remember Mark from when they went for dinner and all JJ would say is he was a close friend "Oh he's a family friend he lives around here and works in a restaurant" Sandy smiled as JJ groaned "She's meet him Mom" JJ said as they both head out the kitchen towards the door.

**Location: BAU**

"You been burning the midnight oil again princess" Morgan mocked as he stood at her desk "I wish" she half smirked as she looked back down at the consult she was working on, he smiled as he moved towards his desk "Where's Reid?" he asked, before Emily could answer someone cut in "He will be here after" JJ said as she stood behind him. "Jeeze JJ, you need a bell" he said as he jumped as she spoke causing her to raise her eyebrow slightly.

Hotch stood outside his office watching his team talking and smiling he sighed "JJ can I have a word please" he said as he turned back into his office, JJ nodded as she walked up to his door walking in "Is everything okay?" JJ asked as he looked up from the file in front of him, a rare smiled crossed his lips "Yes everything is fine but I need to talk to you" she nodded taking the seat in front of him "What about?" she asked.

"It's nothing bad so stop worrying" he smiled again "Okay?" "Right, as we know you are getting married this month now, I have just got off the phone with the ambassador" he chuckled as JJ's eyes went slightly wide "Elizabeth rung you?" he nodded "Oh, don't look so shock, I use to work for her remember, anyway the thing is she wants this to be a surprise for Emily" he smirked as JJ frowned.

"So you're telling me, because?" "Right it has all been cleared your mom and Sarah have also been informed and to put it bluntly, as of this weekend you and Emily will be off work for two weeks, but the problem I have is, though I can afford you the time, I have no one capable of doing your job while you are gone so I was hoping you would be able to train someone up, so they can help for the few weeks you're not here" JJ looked at him wide eyed "As off this weekend?" she questioned "Yes this weekend and we will all be off on Monday" he looked at her "Oh"

"Just Emily doesn't need the stress and the ambassador asked me to tell you, since you haven't answered her calls" JJ frowned then realised "Shit, I left it at home" he shook his head "Is everything okay, Emily looks tired" he said with concern "She is, she is still being sick at all hours" she sighed "And I think this morning took a lot out of her, if I am honest Hotch I wish she was at home resting right now, she doesn't need any more stress" he frowned "What happened this morning" he asked as JJ shook her head "Emily lost her temper at Sarah" she half smiled "But it is partly sorted now, when does Elizabeth get back did she say?" he nodded "She will meet you at yours tonight" he smiled


	69. Chapter 69

**Chapter 69**

**Location: Shopping Mall**

**Date: 4 days to go. 10.02am**

"I am so not wearing a dress, how about a suite?" Emily called from the dressing room "Surely you can wear a dress to your own wedding Emily!" Elizabeth replied "But I look huge Mother!" Emily said in a huff as she struggled to fasten the dress "And I am far from comfortable Mom" Emily almost shouted.

"I don't see what your problem is Emily, I mean it is only a dress and it is only for one day" Elizabeth said in a sigh as Emily poked her head through the door "Mom just come here and I will explain the problem" Emily said her face slightly red, as Elizabeth walked over

"Right explain to me what the problem is as Emily ushered in to the changing room closing the door "They are all opened backed and I can fasten it and, and" Emily's voice trailed off as it suddenly dawned on her why Emily was so reluctant and uncomfortable "Oh sweetheart I totally forgot" she said as she wrapped her arms around her daughter.

Emily leaned into her mother embrace as Elizabeth caught a glimpse of her back, aside from the fact it showed her baby bump, it also revealed her scars that ran up her back. "Let's get you out of this dress and see if we can find you something more comfortable" She smiled warmly as Emily nodded with a sigh as she whispered "Do you think I would be able to you know, make them less visible" Emily said "Maybe you could see a plastic surgeon, what does Jennifer think" Emily let a chuckled escape her lips "Honestly they don't bother her at all mother" she smiled as Elizabeth nodded "Well talk to her then and see what she thinks once these little ones are here"

"I still don't know why we have to rush to find me something to wear the wedding isn't for a few more weeks" Emily grumbled, she still didn't know the dates had been brought forward, luckily they had already got the rings well JJ had ordered her paying slightly more since she now had to make sure they it was ready sooner than excepted. "I want to do this with you that's why and who is walking you down the aisle?" Elizabeth asked, Emily blushed slightly "I was going to ask Morgan" she looked at her Mother for any sign that she disapproved "I am sure he will be honoured" she smiled "He's my best friend and my partner mom, it would just feel wrong if it wasn't him" she smiled as she let out a dry laugh.

Elizabeth had dragged her around the shopping mall for the past two hours as Emily got more and more agitated, she loved shopping her, JJ and Garcia would normally spend the whole day shopping when they had a chance, but her back was killing her feet were on fire and all she wanted to do right now was crawl into a hot bath to ease the aches away.

"Last one Emily, then we can go and get something to eat" Elizabeth smiled as she dragged her into yet another tailor shop as Emily muttered under her breathe "okay this one then we rest" Emily's eyes went wide as they walked into the shop it was a man's tailor she closed her eyes as she looked around noticing a bemused gentlemen walking over to them "Oh, this will be fun" she said shaking her head "Emily" her mother warned as they were greeted

"Ladies may I help you?" Emily blushed as he spoke trying to hide behind her mother "I need a suite for this young lady and nowhere we have been is suitable" Elizabeth said in a very firm voice as the gentlemen looked them both over "A suite?" he asked to double check as Elizabeth looked at him "A suite, is there something wrong with your hearing young man?" she said in a sarcastic voice.

He looked at her "My hearing is quite fine thank you" he said holding his breath as he looked at the two for them "Do you have anything suitable?" she asked as she pushed Emily from behind her who was now very quiet and very shy "come on dear he won't bite" Elizabeth said with a slight laugh.

He looked her up and down "I may have something, what is the occasion" he asked still amused that he had two women in his shop "my wedding" Emily muttered, he frowned slightly "you want a suite for your wedding?" he asked again causing Elizabeth to glare at him as she spoke "if you are going to repeat ever word me or my daughter speak, you either need to have you hearing checked or I will take our business else were" he shook his head "No that's fine, just never had a lady ask before" he said as he smiled

"Do you have an idea of what you would like ma'am?" he asked as he looked at her, Emily nodded "cream suite that will not be too restrictive on my stomach" Emily said as she rubbed the baby bump "I think I might have just the one, would you like the jacket as well?" he asked "Yes" what type of shirt?" Emily frowned slightly she really in all honesty had no clue

He smiled at them both "How about a pale blue silk shirt?" he asked as he took them both to the suites and the where the shirts were, Emily looked for a moment as she found a shirt that had a type of V-neck, she smiled slightly before shaking her head, she just couldn't make up her mind as she whispered to her mother "Mom can we see if we can find a different shop" she asked as Elizabeth smiled at her and nodded "We will be back shortly, is there a public rest room near here?" she asked as Emily closed her eyes "Just out the doors turn left and you will find them door the three he smiled.

"Mom I can't believe this is so hard" Emily shook her head slightly as they found a small café for something to eat, Elizabeth ordered there food as they sat and talked "Maybe we can find a wedding shop that caters for everything" she smiled before the idea hit her "Harrods" she said as Emily jaw dropped "seriously mother! I haven't seen one around here" "Well I don't think there is but I can call in a favour and they do have a website" she smiled

Emily rolled her eyes slightly "Do you know how much that would cost!" Emily said as she shook her head, though she had the money there was no way she would pay over the earth for a suite as Elizabeth sighed "Emily it is your wedding day and I hope it is the only wedding you are planning on having, as much as you hate to spend your money, which is beyond me, this day should be special and money should not even come into your thoughts, would Jennifer be happy if you bought a run of the mill suite or one that spoke volumes" Emily laughed "Mom small town girl simple tastes and she couldn't care less about money"

They had finished their lunch and Emily thought they could just try one more shop before she gave up completely "mom just come in with me" Elizabeth stood outside "I am not going into a shop that looks like the health department would close it down, Emily look at it, it looks like a rat infested whole" "Mother!" Emily said in a gasp "not everything is what you see, just come inside please" Emily pouted slightly as Elizabeth sighed and held her breath slightly "If I catch anything I will hold you responsible" she said as Emily opened the door fully so they could walk in "Oh!" Elizabeth gasped "This isn't what I thought" as her eyes looked around "See it is not the outside that counts but the inside" Emily smirked as the familiar assistant walked over to them "Emily! It is great to see you" she smiled at her "what brings you here today?" she asked happily "Wedding, I need a suite" she smiled

Elizabeth watched them both for a moment "You come here often?" Emily nodded "Jennifer dragged me in once and I have shopped here many times when you have invited me to one of your dinners" Emily smirked "Really you came here?" Emily laughed "yes mother, I would never have come here if Jennifer hadn't have dragged me in and yes I had the same thoughts as you"

The assistant reappeared with a few suites as Emily looked at them "Who's wedding is it?" the assistant asked "Oh it would be mine" Emily said with a smile causing the assistant to frown "Well these won't do at all, can you give me a moment please" she said as she walked into the back of the store. Around ten minutes later she reappeared carrying a suite and Emily's jaw dropped slightly "can I try it on?" Emily asked as Elizabeth smiled "Of course, would you like me to assist you?" she asked as Emily shook her head "I'll be fine" she smiled taking the suite off her and heading into the changing room.

Elizabeth waited outside "Emily, are you okay in there?" Elizabeth asked, she had in there for the past ten minutes and Elizabeth was beginning to worry slightly, Emily stood looking in the mirror as she eyed herself up and for the first time in over six months she felt beautiful, not just okay but beautiful, yes Jennifer had told her many times that she was beautiful but Emily hadn't felt it ever since her attack "just a" her voice trailed as Elizabeth become more concerned "Emily if you're not happy with it I am sure we can find something else but please let me see" she asked as Emily heard the concern in her voice.

Emily took a deep breath but she couldn't help the tears that rolled down her cheek as she stepped outside of the dressing room, she looked at her mother as Elizabeth let out a small gasp "Emily you look stunning" Elizabeth said "what's wrong?" she asked noticing the tears falling "mom I, it, I feel" she stuttered out as Elizabeth smiled "it's perfect" she said as she finally found the words. It was a simple suite, cream coloured but the pale red silk blouse set it off, the jacket had a deeper cream running down the hem. "How are you doing Emily" the assistant called as she walked in "Wow!" she smiled "You look amazing as always" she smiled "Does anything need to be adjusted?" she asked as Emily shook her head "it fits perfectly, do you think Jennifer would like it?" she asked looking at the two women in front of her, the assistant laughed slightly causing Elizabeth to scowl at her "I think she may want to rip it off you" she joked causing Emily to blush deeply.

Emily got changed again as she walked into the shop to pay "Oh no I am buying you this" Elizabeth smiled as she handed over her card "Mother I can't ask you to do that it's too much" Emily said as the sales assistant rung it through the till "nonsense, it is my gift to you" Elizabeth said as she paid "your my daughter and I insist, would you have Sarah pay for hers?" Emily shook her head slightly as she smiled "thank you mother" Emily said as they walked out the store.

**Location: Shopping Mall**

**Time: 10.13am**

"There is no way in hell I am wearing that" JJ said as Garcia pulled out a very bright dress causing her mom to laugh "But it will look lovely" Garcia pouted "on you maybe on me I will look like a clown" JJ said as she shook her head, she looked at her friend "I am getting married not going in for" she trailed off before she hurt Garcia's feelings any more than she already had done. "But you will look so cute" she protested "I don't want to look cute" she said in a slightly louder voice, than she meant too.

Sandy pulled out a dress to show her daughter it had a low front and an slightly open back as JJ shook her head "Mom not a good idea remember" JJ said with a hint of sadness in her voice "oh sorry dear" she said, last thing JJ wanted was in fact the same problem as Emily was having, they both didn't need for their scars to be seen. Yes her mom knew about them but no one else did and she wanted to keep it that way.

"JJ you will be so hot if you keep yourself more or less covered up" Garcia said as she looked at her friend confused, the heat was already getting to everyone and it hadn't let up in days, "I will be fine" JJ said as they continued to look around and she too couldn't find anything she like "remind me again why you all thought it would be a good idea to bring the date forward!" JJ asked "Elizabeth asked I said yes, your dad and brother will be arriving late evening on Sunday as well" she smiled

"And they are all okay with this with everything I mean, please tell me dad isn't going to give Emily the third degree" Sandy laughed "No he isn't, I have told him I already have and I have explained everything to him so he won't be shocked" she smiled as they walked out of the store.

"Have you thought about when you are going to let Emily know what is going on?" Sandy asked "Oh, I was just going to drop it on her Sunday morning then she won't panic too much" Garcia shook her head "We won't be attending a wedding then we will be attending a funeral!" Garcia said knowing how Emily was sometimes and also knew it may not bode well for the team "look Emily has been panicking enough about this wedding saying she if going to look fat and worried about what she is going to wear" JJ said in a very serious tone.

"You only get married once JJ" Garcia argued "look I know you all have meant well and I love you all dearly, but you all seemed to have forgotten one simple fact" Garcia and Sandy frowned slightly "and what would that be, we all know how stunning Emily and you will be in your dresses so what fact have we forgotten" Garcia almost shouted as JJ glared "Oh, I don't know let me think for a moment" JJ paused slightly as Garcia sighed if anything JJ was stressed and worried and both the other women weren't sure why "She loves you Jennifer, so you know she will turn up" Sandy said in an attempt to calm her down.

"Oh she will turn up; I do know that, I have never doubted that for a second!" "Then what is your problem? Or are you getting cold feet" Garcia asked calmly "I am not getting cold feet and the problem is you all seemed to have forgotten Emily is NOT comfortable in her own body yet! So you all think she will wear a dress, are you all heartless, you have shown her book upon book with nothing but dresses in, to the point she is that worried she is going to let everyone down and she does NOT need this type of stress" JJ ranted at her friend and mom "JJ, I" she held her hand up as she walked out of the shop.

This was all just too much for her, both Garcia and Sandy stood there in slight shock "I never thought about it before" Garcia said weakly as Sandy looked shocked and confused, no one had told her fully what had happened "Garcia? What did Jennifer mean by that?" she asked the concern laden in her voice.

She shook her head slightly "we really should go after her" she said as she kept her eyes downcast. They found JJ sitting on the bench outside as Garcia turned to Sandy "Just give me a moment with her please" she asked as Sandy nodded "Jayj" she said softly as she walked up sitting next to her and looking into her teary eyes "I am so sorry, none of us can forget what happened to her, but also we had no clue she was uncomfortable, she seems so happy these days and we all are so happy and proud of her I got caught up in the moment can you forgive me?" Though JJ would never betray Emily she looked at her best friend and smiled sadly "Sorry I am just so stressed right now and yes I do forgive you I am just worried about her"

Sandy made her way over to her daughter kneeling in front of her "Jennifer weddings are always stressful and hard but think of how you will feel on the day when you two fully commit to each other, you both have been through so much and I am so proud of you and Emily, this is about you two not everyone else this will be your day, and you will look back on it and smile, because this is where you get to start afresh, everything won't come at once but you will be together as a family and Emily does want this, have you seen how she looks at you, there is so much love in her eyes, and I have never seen someone look that way at anyone before no matter how much they love each other, you have something special and on Monday you will have something more special" she smiled at her daughter softly "let's go and see if we can find you a perfect dress" she said taking her hand "I am sorry I snapped at you both" JJ said as she looked down slightly.

They spent the next 3 hours going around the shops and finding nothing JJ liked they had one last place to look in and if JJ was honest she had, had enough "Shall we take a break and get some lunch" Sandy said as they left the store "Yeah" JJ said somewhat disheartened "JJ you will find something, I promise we can always go to another Mall, so stop worrying" Garcia said as they made their way to a small coffee shop.

"So who is giving Emily away?" Sandy asked "Her dad?" Garcia asked which in returned her a glare and scowl off JJ "Not a chance in hell" she said as she shook her head "I think she may ask Morgan or I am hoping she will" she smiled "Has anyone warned him of that?" Sandy asked "No I think Emily was going to tell him on the day, since you know how he can get" she laughed as Sandy looked at them both puzzled "Would you care to explain that?" JJ nodded "Morgan is her partner mom and to say he is protective is an understatement, if she does ask him, well he would be worse and I can see him dragging her around the shops and that would not be a pretty sight" Garcia laughed "last time those two went shopping they came back with half the shop for the nurseries he gets a little over excited when it comes to Emily" "Not to forget how competitive they are, you remember when they had that drinking match" JJ laughed "Yeah we had to carry them both home, they got that drunk we didn't see them for the rest of the weekend and when they came back into work on the Monday they were both still hangover" Sandy laughed "How old are they? Again" she asked "When they are together they are like big kids" Garcia said as JJ interrupted "unless they are chasing an unsub down and as we all know Emily has this habit of shot first ask questions later"

They all finally made their way to the last shop, JJ was a little reluctant as they had been all over and not found anything she liked, the shop assistant greeted them as they walked in, this was a very expansive shop and it worried Sandy and Garcia as they saw one of the price tags "JJ are you sure about this it seems very expensive" Garcia mumbled "can you all stop worrying about money please!" JJ said as they started to look at the dresses they had, JJ found a few she liked the look of so had Sandy and Garcia.

"Would you like me to assist you with them?" the shop assistant asked to which JJ nodded which surprised Sandy, JJ never let anyone see her body ever, she spoke softly to the assistant who was nodding with a smile as they both walked into the back rooms, she had tried on five dresses and this was the last one, JJ looked in the mirror as it was fastened up at the back her eyes raking over the dress, it was perfect, it hugged her in all the right places though it wasn't your normal wedding dress, it was more like a cocktail dress, a pale blue which brought out her eyes a low neck the seams had small diamante's which sparkled when the light caught them "This looks lovely on you" the assistant smiled at her as JJ nodded "It's perfect" she whispered softly "Shall we get the ladies opinion?" She asked as JJ nodded "Do you have any shoes to match?" JJ asked as they stepped out of the fitting room to a waiting Sandy and Garcia "Whoa! That dress is just, wow!" Garcia gusted at her as Sandy's eyes filled with tears "you look absolutely stunning" her mother said as she looked at her baby daughter "You think Emily will approve?" JJ asked causing them both to laugh "Yeah if it stays on long enough" Garcia teased causing all of them to blush.

The assistant found some pale blue shoes that matched the dress perfectly as she placed the dress in a cover to keep it protected Sandy asked how much the dress would cost hoping she could at least pay towards it but when the assistant said the price Sandy nearly passed out "$2000" she gasped as JJ rolled her eyes "Mom its fine I promise you" as Garcia's jaw dropped "that's, just how can you" JJ cut them both off "Emily's mother gave me some money towards it so please just stop" JJ said calmly as she handed over her card.


	70. Chapter 70

**Chapter 70**

**Location: BAU**

**Date: 3 days to go. 8.05am**

"Explain this to me again Jennifer" Emily said as she sat in her office, she sighed "I have to train someone up to do help the team when we are off" this was getting too hard for JJ wanted nothing more than to tell Emily what was going on, they just had to get through today and then they would be off for the whole weekend, but Emily being stubborn and wanting to know what's going on, wouldn't let JJ be until she got some answers.

"We have weeks till we are off so why is Hotch getting you to do this now?" Emily asked again "Because its Friday and we don't have any cases and it is also the only time she is free" JJ said again, she had already been through this most of last night and since they had gotten up this morning "What aren't you telling me though" Emily asked "Ugh! You know Prentiss, can you just except that I have to do this without questioning everything" she half ranted, Emily looked at her before turning on her heels and heading towards her desk

"Everything okay Emily?" Morgan asked as she half stormed down the stairs "Oh, it is just great, the house has been overtaken by my Mother Sandy and Sarah and JJ is being cagey as hell and now she has to train someone up to do her job and the wedding isn't for another few weeks" Emily said loudly causing everyone to look at her "Whoa! Sounds like you are just stressed" Morgan said as he perched on her desk

"Stressed out is not the word! I had to go clothes shopping with my Mother! Then pick the ring up then answer god knows how many questions as to who is giving me away, what flowers do we want what music, and ALL I WANT TO DO IS CURL UP IN HER ARMS DAMNIT" She shouted causing JJ, Hotch and Rossi to come out of their offices watching her as she shouted and slapped a bemused Morgan "Feel better now princess?" he asked as he still the hand that was slapping his chest "No" the emotion thick in her voice

"Let's get you some of that herbal tea that JJ has stashed for you in the kitchen" he smiled as he wrapped a now crying brunette in his arms she nodded against him as she mumbled "My back is killing me" she admitted as he got her to sit down out of the view of everyone. Morgan finally settled Emily down, with a drink for them both.

JJ turned and followed Hotch into his office "I have to tell her Hotch" she said as she closed the door "This stress is doing her no good" he nodded "You know she is going to be mad when you do" "Its cant be any worse than it is right now, have you ever seen her yell at Morgan before" she said looking at him "I can't say I have" he admitted "Let alone raise a hand to him" she pointed out, he sighed what time is she due at her appointment?" "2pm" she laughed "I can just see her now shouting at her" JJ smirked "What time is Jordan due in?" "9am, and I think for safety it might be best to keep her away from Emily" he nodded "How did I let myself get talked into this" JJ asked as she looked at him "her mother can be" "persuasive" JJ finished as he smiled "If you think it will be better for her to know then tell her, just make sure her gun is in her drawer and not on her when you do" he joked

Emily sighed as she looked at Morgan her emotions were all over the place and she would admit it but even she knew he'd just brush it off and not worry "You know you're giving me away right" Emily said, causing Morgan to choke on his coffee, "You okay?" she asked as he looked at her "You seriously want me to?" he asked grinning "That's what I asked isn't it?" "hell YES!" he beamed "That means you have to get me there on time" she raised her eyebrow "I will would you like a bell as well" he joked causing Emily to glare "So not funny!"

Emily stared as she saw someone heading towards JJ's office she looked at Morgan "Who is that" she asked as Morgan shrugged "No idea" as he bent his head to get a better view of her, just as Garcia walked behind him slapping him around his head "Behave" she said as Emily laughed "You are so busted" as Garcia turned "And you my dark brunette should know better than to encourage him" she said as she looked at Emily "Hey I can't control where his eyes wonder to or towards" causing Garcia to slap them both "Hey what was that for" Emily said as she rubbed her arm "for not controlling your partner" she glared as Morgan laughed.

**Location: Home**

**Time: 3.28pm**

Emily had gone straight home after her appointment ignoring Sandy and Sarah as she headed straight upstairs locking the bedroom door, Sarah had followed her up "Mom? Are you okay" but she got no reply as she tried again "Mom?" she waited but nothing Sarah signed and walked back downstairs hoping her mother would come out of her room soon "Is she okay Sarah" Sandy asked "I have no idea, she has locked the door and won't answer" Sarah said as she sat back down "Should we do anything?" Sarah shook her head "Best to leave her she will come down when she is ready" Sarah smiled weakly at her.

"I'll send JJ a text see if she knows what's happened" Sarah said as she reached for her phone **' Hey Ma, do you know what's wrong with mom, she has come home and locked herself in your bedroom and won't answer!'** she hit send hoping JJ would reply soon. "She will be fine Sarah, maybe she just wants some time on her own" Sandy said softly "I just worry" Sarah admitted as her phone vibrated **'she has been to her appointment, I will be home for five, just leave her, you know how she is after going there x' **Sarah read the message as she sighed, she had totally forgot it was her mom's therapy appointment "Jennifer say anything" Sandy asked "yeah, she will talk to mom when she gets home, nothing to worry about" Sarah smiled as she flicked through the book "You know it might be best to tell Mom what's going on, did you hear her and JJ this morning" she said as she closed the book "I agree and yes I heard I felt sorry for Jennifer in all honesty, and Emily certainly doesn't need the stress of thinking we are all keeping secrets from her"

JJ had spent most of the day in the office explaining everything to Jordan, as her lasts words were 'use your gut and if you are not sure ask Hotch or Morgan and also don't mess up my filing system' which made her get a bemused look off her, and this all had made her late, Emily hadn't returned her message's which only meant she had, had a very bad session which also telling her they were getting married on Monday would cause more problems than it was really worth, she had called to the jewellers and got the ring she sighed as she looked at it, It would match her engagement ring sitting inside the V-neck with a thicker band she smiled at it 'I hope all this stress is worth it' she thought to herself as she finally arrived home an hour later than she had meant to.

She walked into the house closing the door and headed straight to were the voices were coming from "Has she come down yet?" JJ asked as she placed some items on the table "No, haven't heard anything either" Sarah said with a weak smile "Okay, give us an hour and can you order some food in for us all while I go and talk to Emily" JJ said as she walked straight back out the door not waiting for an answer.

She made her way up to their bedroom knocking gently on the door "Em, it's me can you let me in please" she said softly, she could hear the faint sobs coming from behind the door followed by slight shuffling of feet against the carpet "Em sweetie come on its only me baby" she said again just as Emily unlocked the door falling straight into JJ's arms catching her slightly off guard "Shh I've got you baby" JJ said as she wrapped her arms tightly around her guiding them both into their room as she kicked the door close behind her JJ held her waiting for the sobs to stop, Emily's breathing hitched slightly as she calmed down in her arms, JJ moved her hair out of her face looking into sad brown eyes. She hadn't seen Emily this sad in such a long time it broke her heart "You want to talk about it sweetie or shall I run you a bath and then we can get something to eat" Emily shook her head slightly when JJ said talk "bath" she whispered softly

JJ helped her get undressed after she had turned the taps on to fill the bath "Jennifer" she whispered causing JJ to look at her "Yes Em?" she smiled "Thank you" JJ frowned slightly "For what babe?" "being there, being you and for not pushing" she replied, today they had talked about Rob and everything had come rushing back to her like a knife had ripped into her chest, and all she had wanted was for JJ to be there to hold her and here she was not asking not pushing she was just there, the strong safe reassurance that she craved and needed she was safe, JJ smiled as she turned the taps off and helping her into the bath "I don't push because I know you will tell me when you're ready and I will always be here because I love you and I need you in my life"

Sarah called upstairs after hearing JJ and Emily talking in their bedroom "Ma! Mom! dinner is here" she yelled as Emily looked at JJ "Did I just hear that right?" she asked "That was my expression when she called me that today in a message" JJ smiled as she wrapped her arms around her "Come on lets go and eat cause if I am hungry you must be starving" she teased


	71. Chapter 71

**Chapter 71**

**Location: Home**

**Date: 2days to go. 4.12am**

JJ stirred slightly, there it was again, she mumbled in her sleep, the bed shook under her but there wasn't any noise, as she slowly came out of the sleepy haze as she strained to see the time on the clock, she groaned slightly as she felt it again it was as though someone was shaking the bed, but only this time did it fully register with her what the movement was.

"Emily" she said softly looking at the brunette which was shaking violently in her sleep, "Emily!" JJ said again softly as she touched her shoulder gently, she winced slightly as she didn't feel heat she was wet her clothes her bare skin was dripping wet, she shook her arm softly "Em, what's wrong?" JJ tried again still getting no response she looked at the clock and frowned, neither of them woke at this time unless "Emily" she said slightly louder as she touched Emily again only to now hear a faint whimper come from the shaking form.

JJ's heart fell, Emily hadn't said much since she had got home, other than to have a bath and what she had said before they went for their dinner, and that was very quiet Emily had picked at her food, not even sure she ate anything other than pushed it around her plate and as soon as JJ had finished Emily got up and went straight back upstairs, all in all Emily had pulled away from her or pulled away from herself, Emily had curled in so tight and close to JJ when she had gotten into bed that it had in fact shocked JJ she hadn't done this in a long time, JJ ran her fingers softly down her arm as she tried to get any sort of response since she couldn't see her face and she was that curled into herself which considering how big she was also puzzled her "Emily" she said again this time she got a reply just not the one she hoped for.

"no, please, please" her voice was weak and small as her body trembled the session she had, had brought everything to the surface things that even Emily was not ready to deal with and right now she was living it again "Emily wake up sweetheart" JJ said slightly firmer "I'll do anything just" Emily muttered as she held on tighter to herself, JJ gripped her shoulder to rock her a little. The terror in Emily's mind over took as she scream "NOOOOOOOOOOOO" JJ removed her hand hoping that no one had heard as she got off the bed walking around to the other side "Emily wake up, it's just a dream, your safe, I'm safe and Sarah is safe" she said softly as she moved the brown locks from her face "run, please run" JJ closed her eyes just as the bedroom door opened, JJ glared shaking her head slightly as Sandy looked on "Jennifer?" she whispered, JJ didn't respond to her as she tried to get Emily to stir "Emily wake up or I will ring your mother" she said firmly this had worked for Sarah but nothing was helping, "don't hurt her please" Emily sobbed as the tears ran down her face "Emily please wake up baby" JJ pleaded just as Sarah walked in past Sandy "Mom" Sarah said "Nightmares?" Sarah asked still looking at her mom "Nothing is working Sarah" JJ said her tears welling in her eyes "JJ get back in bed for me please" Sarah said softly as Sandy watched on "Just hold her I'll go and make us all a coffee" Sarah said as JJ wrapped her arms around Emily pulling her close

Sandy followed Sarah downstairs "Does this happen a lot?" Sandy asked as Sarah turned round "Well it hasn't for a few months, but she also hasn't looked that withdrawn either in months" Sarah sighed as she turned the coffee machine on "Mom told me awhile back that the nightmares stopped because Ma always had hold of her and kept her demons at bay, I am just hoping it works" Sarah said with a sigh "How long has she had them?" Sandy asked "On and off for a few years but since that happened" Sarah pointed to her stomach "they have become worse but since mom started therapy she had been getting better only having them every now and again" Sandy knew all too well about nightmares "Is there anything I can do to help?" she asked, Sarah ran her hand through her hair and shook her head "no one can help until she allows it, it has always been that way with mom, but with Ma she tries" Sarah said honestly as Sandy chuckled "What?" "You like calling her Ma don't you" Sarah smiled "I do, mom always told me about her every day from the second she started with the BAU, but she "Sarah sighed "mom doesn't like to let people get close to her or to me" she shrugged as she poured the coffees out "Let's take these up mom should be awake by now" "You sure?" Sarah nodded.

As soon as JJ wrapped her arms around her pulling her close to her she started whispering in her ear "come back to me baby, I've got you and I am not going anywhere, your safe I promise" she repeated over and over again, Emily felt the warmth and heard someone talking to her, but between the voice and the sound of the whip she couldn't tell what was going on, it sounded like someone she knew and loved, but then the whip would hit her body the shiver ran through her body as JJ held her tighter "Em, wake up baby" JJ whispered again, the whipping became less often but the voice never altered it was soft and warm, she knew that voice as soft whisper left her lips "Jen" JJ kissed her shoulder "It's me baby open them eyes for me" JJ said in a whisper as Emily tried to move closer "I've got you babe but I need you to wake up for me" JJ said as she ran her fingers over her stomach "Mmm" Emily let out in a sigh, as another shiver ran through her body "cold" "Emily wake up sweetie then we can get you changed" JJ said softly as Emily began to come round more.

Emily opened her eyes slightly and gasped at the time reflecting on the clock "Jen, why you awake" Emily said in a yawn "You don't remember?" JJ said her voice full of concern "I was asleep" JJ shook her head slightly "You were having a nightmare sweetie" "Oh" Emily sighed "sorry" she mumbled "Shh, it's okay but baby what did you talk about at your appointment" JJ asked softly, Emily turned as best she could so she could just hear her heart beating as she whispered "Rob" as a sob ripped through her chest, JJ rubbed her back "I thought we all agreed you wasn't ready for that yet sweetheart" JJ said as she kissed her forehead, JJ felt so honoured to see her like this, Emily at work was strong confident and somewhat aggressive but her at home in her arms she was as soft as a kitten, she would hang onto her, cry, panic and share her worries, to JJ Emily was open and honest, well as open as she was ready to be, but at home JJ was the one who protected her not the over way around and to Emily's credit she liked it, she liked having someone she could turn to, someone she didn't have to hide from and someone who loved her and she returned that love as well the words that slipped from her lips tore into JJ "She pushed me" Emily said as she held on tighter "Oh sweetie, I am so sorry" JJ said softly just as Sarah knocked on the door with Sandy in toe.

"We brought you a drink mom" Sarah smiled softly as Emily tried to hide her face more "Thanks Sarah can you just leave them on the table for us please" she asked as she continued to hold Emily, Sarah looked at JJ and then at her mom, JJ smiled "she's okay you two go back to bed if you can, I think we will be getting up soon" JJ said softly as Sandy spoke "Shall I run you two a bath" Sandy was after all a mother, she may not be Emily's but she would soon be her mother-in-law and she saw this as her job, JJ smiled knowing her mom wanted to help "please mom that would be great" Sandy nodded as she walked into their bathroom turning on the taps "You need anything give me a shout I am too awake now to go back to sleep" She whispered to JJ before leaving them.

Two hours later Emily and JJ made their way downstairs to find Sandy stood in the kitchen looking through the fridge "Morning girls" she said without turning round "Morning mom" JJ said as Emily kept quiet and close to JJ, "Sorry I woke you" Emily said as she looked at the floor "No need for sorry, but you will both be sorry if you don't tell me what you would like for breakfast" she turned around and smiled at them both before staring slightly at Emily "You didn't eat properly last night so you must be starving" Emily nodded as she took a seat her stomach growling "More than starving by the sound of that" JJ said with a slight laugh as she looked at Emily before placing her hand over their children "yeah" she said softly "So what do you two want?" as she looked at Emily, who still was finding the floor or in fact anything that didn't involve looking at her.

Sandy sighed as she walked over to them both "Jennifer go see what you two want please" Sandy said as she took the seat next to Emily "Look at me Emily, please" she said kindly as Emily raised her head slightly her cheeks were red with embarrassment and sadness was evident in her eyes "I am sure you have seen Jennifer" Emily frowned slightly before nodding "well after it happened she would wake up screaming and crying her brother would already be in their before me and she would be curled in his arms as he comforted her" she smiled at her daughter "but once she calmed down she wouldn't look at me, because she was embarrassed by it and ashamed, but as her mom and also I will be your mom as well" she smiled as the redness started to settle down "I have this thing where I need to protect you both, I know you are FBI and you see some of the and if not the worse that mankind has to offer, but nightmares can also be healthy, they are your minds way of dealing through things that you aren't strong enough to voice yet, but never say sorry for them and never say sorry for waking anyone, we love you and I for one fully understand and so does Jennifer"

"Mom since you're in a mothering mood" JJ joked "Can we have pancakes" she smirked "Sandy" Emily said softly as she held her hand "thank you" Sandy smiled "All part of my job description as a mother" she joked as she got up placing a light kiss on her cheek "I can see where she gets it from now" Emily mused "Where who gets what from?" JJ asked with a puzzled look on her face. "Your kindness, understanding and just everything that you are Jennifer you get from your mother" she smiled warmly "It's nice" she admitted "Thanks" JJ said playfully as she placed a soft kiss on her lips.

JJ had finally thought it was a better idea to let Emily know what was going on, all the stress and worry and on top of it she was having nightmares now as well and in all honesty she it was taking a toll on her she hated keeping Emily in the dark, so as they all sat around the breakfast table JJ thought it would be safer with all four being there and not just her on her own.

"My dad and brother are coming tomorrow Em, for a few days" JJ let the words roll off her tongue, Emily looked at her "okay, why am I only just hearing about it?" "Well before you get mad at me, I will tell you know it was not my idea and I didn't have any hand in it but I just can't keep it from you anymore" JJ said as Emily looked at her with fear in her eyes, before JJ could say another word Emily's heart had sunk "are you" Emily frowned trying to keep the tears back "leaving me?" JJ wrapped her arm around her as she spoke "No, no, nothing like that baby I promise I am doing nothing of the sort but please let me explain and then you can kill me okay" JJ said as she sat back down taking Emily's hands in her own "We all know how stressed out you have been and your mother cut her trip short to come back now remember this was not my idea, but stupidly I kept it from you" JJ said as she glared at Sarah and her mom "They moved our wedding date forward" JJ paused as Emily looked at her in shock "What do you mean brought it forward" Emily asked "As in forward as in Monday we will be getting married" JJ rambled slightly "that's if you still want to if not you can kill me now" JJ said as she looked at Emily, whose eyes had gone wide, but the smile gave it away "Why would I kill you baby! My mother maybe but not you" Emily paused slightly "Monday? JJ we haven't got time, we have work, we have, how can we get everything organised by Monday" Emily said as Sarah cut in "It's all sorted mom, but" she paused allowing JJ to carry on "We will be having it at Rossi's, we have also been given two weeks off" she smiled as Emily practically throw herself at the blonde "You have no idea how much I love you" she said as she kissed JJ softly, forgetting other people where in the room before pulling back and blushing "Sorry" she smirked looking at Sandy and Sarah "Oh don't mind us" Sandy joked.

"I have a question though" Emily said looking at JJ then at Sandy "What is it?" "You keep saying your brother, does he have a name or is it just brother!" Emily said with a slight bemused grin on her face "Oh, no he does, I just preferred you to not tell you" JJ smirked as Sandy laughed "That's cruel Jennifer" Sandy said shaking her head "But it is so much fun" JJ smirked as Emily slapped her arm gently "So you going to tell me or shall I get Garcia to run background on you and your family" Emily said in a very serious tone causing JJ to shake her head "No, no, don't do that I'll tell you" JJ said knowing her and her mom might get shouted at "You have met him" JJ said as she bit her lower lip "When?" Emily asked frowning slightly "Remember Mark?" Emily shook her head slightly looking at them both "So your family friend is your brother" Emily asked looking at them both "Yes, just well, I didn't, if this" JJ stuttered slightly as Sandy took over "She means if it hadn't have worked out she didn't see the point" She said bluntly, causing Emily to laugh "Nice to know you had faith in us"


	72. Chapter 72

**Chapter 72**

**Location: Home**

**Date: The big Day. 7.22am**

Much to Emily and JJ's protests, they had been made to stay the night apart Garcia had taken JJ to Sarah's for the night and Emily had been made to stay at home, she sat in the kitchen looking at Morgan as he made himself at home and insisted he was making everyone's breakfast

"This is really happening isn't it" Emily's voice wavered slightly as she looked at her partner "Emily you will be fine we went through this last night "What if she changes her mind" Morgan rolled his eyes as he stood straight in front of her "Will you open them ears please and listen to me"

Emily looked at him and nodded "But" "Oh will you please hush up and stop, that girl would walk through fire for you, she loves you and if you don't stop worrying I will glad beat you pregnant or not" Morgan joked as Emily shook her head "But I haven't sorted out anything, what if it's not right, what is something goes wrong, god Morgan anything could happen" Emily rambled as the voice behind them disturbed them "Jeeze Mom have some faith in me for once" Emily looked at her daughter "I didn't mean it like that Sarah" she said.

"It's your wedding day mom, and you know JJ is probably doing the exact same, just for once stop worrying, nothing could go wrong" "Where's mother, she isn't here, what if she doesn't show, oh god I need my mom here" Morgan let out a laugh "Prentiss I never thought I'd hear the day where you say you want and need your mother" he teased her "she's my mother of course I need her" Sarah laughed "Mom she will be here, it isn't even 7.30 yet, will you just stop and breathe" "Ugh! I think I'm going to be sick" Emily said as she got up "Morning sickness or nerves?" Morgan called after her; Emily flipped him the bird before hurrying to the toilet.

**Location: Sarah's Condo**

"How can you eat?" JJ moaned slightly "Easy I open my mouth and place the food inside it then chew" Garcia smirked as JJ groaned "I think I am going to be sick" "Here this will help you" Sandy said placing a drink in front of her "It will settle your nerves" "Mom I am not drinking that, there is no way on hell I am going to my wedding drunk" JJ said as she could smell the vodka slightly "How about gin if you don't like the vodka" Garcia joked as JJ just glared at her.

"You need to go and get your shower and just put a dressing gown on the hairdresser will be here soon" Sandy said as she smiled as JJ left Sandy and Garcia sat around the table having there breakfast "What time did Jennifer get up?" she asked as Garcia laughed "about 4am I could hear her talking to herself, I have never seen her like this" "Not every day you get to marry someone you love" Sandy said as tears started to well in her eyes "My baby has grown up" Garcia smiled as she passed her a tissue "Her and Emily are just made for each other, I just wish she had told her sooner" Garcia said as she got slightly lost in thought.

**Location: Home**

"Mom you need a hand?" Sarah called to her "Please I can't get this right" Emily said as she was struggling with her hair "Remind me why I didn't get someone to do this for me" she grumbled as Sarah walked in "Because you know I can do a better job and mother you look absolutely beautiful" Sarah said as she walked up behind her "I missed her last night" Emily said as Sarah started to do her hair "I know mom just think though after today you will be together for ever and I" Sarah trailed off slightly

"You're okay with this really?" Emily said as she looked at her daughter through the mirror "Oh mom, I am more than okay, I can say I love her like she is my Ma and I mean that, you two just work together, it is like you have found your missing half and your happy, not just happy your truly happy and that means so much to us mom" Sarah smiled softly as she finished her hair. "what if I forget what I want to say" Emily said just as Morgan walked in "Damn Emily you look hot" he grinned at her "You sure you want to marry her I can take her place" he joked "Your my partner and I love you Morgan, but sorry your just so not my type" Emily teased back as Morgan placed his hand over his heart "That hurt" "You will get over it" She laughed

"So are we ready to get this show on the road" Morgan asked as Emily nodded "No!" she said looking at him "Emily you will be fine, and I am sure JJ will gladly help remove your clothes later" Morgan teased "Remind me again why I invited you" "Oh to keep you under control and because you love me really" he retorted "That's what you think" Emily said as they headed downstairs to greet awaiting Hotch "Wow Prentiss you look stunning" He said as Sarah was mumbling behind them "Hotch are these two always like this" she asked as he shook his head "No they are normally worse" causing them both to look at him, as they answered at the same time "We are not" causing them all to laugh

"You got the ring and your speech" Emily asked before they headed out "Yes, have you remembered to leave your gun at home" Morgan teased "Of course" she laughed "Oh god" Sarah muttered behind them "Can we just go and get you there please or I will bring a gun just to get you moving" causing Emily to laugh "Okay, okay we are moving" she said as the four of them left.

**Location: Condo**

Sandy helped JJ into her dress once her hair was done, it was half up half done and wavy as her mom eyes filled up with tears "You look stunning Jennifer, I am so proud of you" she smiled as Garcia walked in "Jeeze JJ, Emily is going to be ripping that off you before you even get married" she said brightly causing JJ to go bright red "do I look okay?" JJ said as she began to worry "Honey you look sexy as hell and if I wasn't straight I would be fighting Prentiss so I could have you" she said as Sandy slapped her gently "Behave girls" she laughed, as her father knocked on the door lightly "How are my girls doing" he asked "Come in dad" JJ smiled as he walked in "Jennifer" he whispered as he looked at her "You look beautiful, my baby princess" Garcia burst out laughing "Did I say something funny?" he asked looking at the two of them "That's Morgan's nickname for Emily" JJ smiled.

"Well you will always be my princess and Emily is your knight" he smirked as he wiped a tear from his eye "I hate to rush you all but the cars have arrived to take us" He said brightly "You got the ring dad?" "Oh yes I have" he beamed as they made their way out to the cars "Mom are you sure you and dad are okay with" "Can you just stop, if we had a problem do you really think we would be here by your side on your big day" she smiled as she helped her into the car "I'm just so nervous mom, and I don't get nervous" JJ said as Sandy took her hand which was shaking slightly "You will be fine, I promise" she said as she closed the car door.

**Location: Rossi's Mansion.**

"Emily you look stunning" Rossi smiled as he took her through into the garden "Is my mother here?" she asked "Oh yes she is waiting for you in my office, which is where you and Morgan are staying until JJ gets here and we are ready to start" he said as he guided her back towards the office as Morgan follow, Rossi gripped Morgan's arm before he went in "Is she okay?" he asked "Nervous as hell, but yes she is fine" he smiled before he walked in closing the door to find, one Elizabeth Prentiss nearly in tears "Ambassador" he greeted as she scowled at him "I am not an Ambassador today Agent Morgan, just like you are not an Agent today, so please call me Elizabeth" she smiled at him as he looked at her worried "That I can do" he smiled once she had finished "Now you have the rings and you know what you're going to say" She asked Emily as she nodded, before turning to Morgan "And you have your speech ready?" "Yes I do Ma'am" he said with a grin.

JJ arrived shortly after, Rossi greeted them at the door "Wow! You look just" Rossi just couldn't find the words "Is she here?" JJ asked slightly worried "You really think she would miss this" he smiled as he took them through to another room "Damn you have a very big and beautiful home" Sandy said in awe "Thank you, second time someone from our little family and friends who manages not to swear when they first see it" He joked as he left them alone "I will let you know when we are good to go" He smiled letting them all settle for a moment as he walked outside to the small group that was there "Well they both made it so I guess we best get this thing going" He said with a silly grin on his face as he spoke to Reid.

He walked towards the office and knocked on the door as the soft music could be heard floating into the room as Elizabeth opened it "Please tell me we are ready, I can't take this any longer" she said as Rossi looked at a pacing Emily and Morgan trying to calm her down, she had gone from nervous to petrified in the short space of time

"What if I forget what I want to say, I haven't had time to" Morgan cut her off "Will you just settle yourself down, you will be fine, you will remember what you want to say and Emily she loves you, so try not to worry" as he looked to Rossi to help as he held his hands up shaking his head "You want some dutch courage Prentiss?" he smiled as she him a glare "Well in that case, can you all follow me" Elizabeth smiled, as Morgan took Emily's arm leading her towards the door, Rossi stopped and looked at Elizabeth "May I take you to your seat ambassador" he smiled at her "I would like that very much" she beamed as Rossi walked down the aisle to her seat before walking around to watch, grinning as he was watching her; Emily in his eyes she was his daughter and he was so proud of them both, once she was standing on the small platform he smiled at them both, before turning to walk back in and getting JJ.

He knocked on JJ's door as her dad opened it "We are ready for you" he said as he looked at JJ who was shaking from head to toe "You ready kiddo" he said looking at her "Yes, No, Maybe" JJ said in a slight stutter "You are as bad as Prentiss" He joked as he lead them towards the garden "Sandy May I take you to your seat" he asked as JJ's dad took her by her arm, with Sarah and Garcia following behind them.

Everyone rose from their seats as Sandy entered and walked down the aisle as the music changed to a different version of the wedding march, JJ kept hold of her dad thinking if she let go she would fall as her body trembled, Emily turned to look at the woman she loved as she took a deep breathe, JJ was just stunning.

Emily's palms began to sweat, Emily reached her hand to take JJ's, helping her stand in front of her "You look amazing" she said in a whisper as her eyes raked over her body, "You don't look bad yourself" she said with a wink the nerves getting the better of her as she looked Emily up and down a slight moan escaping her lips as the registrar laughed "You can do that after ladies" she joked causing them both to blush.

"We are gathering her to celebrate the love of these to people, they have requested they say their own vows, before we do the not so traditional ones as requested, so Emily if you would like to start" She said as she took a step back.

Emily took a deep breath in as she tried to control her emotions as she looked into swirling blue eyes, "Breathe Em" JJ whispered to her as Emily tried to find her words as she looked at her smiling, she closed her eyes slightly before opening them as she began to speak.

"My beloved Jennifer, do you remember the very first day we met? From the very moment I saw you, I knew you were the one for me, the one that I know I have to spend the rest of my life with. Our courtship was, not your traditional one with me being in a hospital bed" she smirked slightly as JJ raised her eyebrow at her with a shy grin on her face "But it was one of the best days of my life, you have become not just my best friend, but from that day, you became my lover and my companion." She paused slightly as she looked deeply into JJ's eyes.

"I want to be your lover, your companion and your best friend for the rest of my life. I promise to love and cherish you, to keep you close and with faithfulness, to be your prop and helpmate in times of need, to make you laugh and to hold you when you cry, to hold you to the highest respect and honour as you so deserve for the rest of my life." The tears ran down Emily's face as she spoke hoping she had conveyed all the love she had for her.

JJ smiled at her as her hands trembled, calming herself before she spoke, her legs were shaking as she thought to herself 'we are really doing this'

"Many people spend their lives searching for their soul mate, their one true love. Some people are lucky to find the person they can truly call the better half of themselves, while others spend the rest of their lives searching and never finding. I am happy to count myself among the lucky ones, because I certainly found you. Though it did take me awhile to tell you"

She blushed looking at Emily who had tears running down her cheek; JJ placed her hand on her cheek wiping the tears away as she continued

"I love you, Emily. I know that you are the only one for me, my one true love. I am happy and I am grateful that you came into my life, that where others have spent their entire lives looking for the one, I have found you. And now that I have found you, I shall never let you go. I promise you, Emily, that I shall hold you and cherish you and give you my heart, that I shall support you and care for you. Faithfully, I shall always stand steadfast at your side with your hand in mine, regardless of what life would bring to us. I take you now as my wife and partner, and I shall remain so for the rest of my life."

JJ let the tears run down her face freely as the registrar came back standing in front of them, looking between them as Morgan brought a chair up for JJ, he could see how badly she was shaking as he touched her shoulder "sit before you fall down Jay" he winked at Emily who was now standing at her side holding her hand.

"We are here, today to witness your commitment to each other, and also to wish you every happiness in your future life together. Within its framework of commitment, and loyalty, marriage enables the establishment of a home, where through trust, - patience and respect, the love and affection, which you have for each other, may develop into a deep and lasting relationship."

"We, who are witnessing this partnership, take another level in your life and love, hope that despite the stresses inevitable in any life, your Love, Respect for each other, and your trust and understanding of each other will increase your contentment, and heighten your joy in living." She paused as she looked at the young boy who now had the rings place on purple velvet cushion; she smiled at him as she spoke again.

"Now if I may have the rings so that we can join them into this partnership of life"

Hotch whispered in Jack's ear to tell him to go to Emily and JJ, he walked over to them both grinning brightly as he held the cushion up to the registrar.

"Emily if you can take the ring and repeat after me" she smiled "I give you this ring as a symbol of my love" she repeated as she place the ring gently on her finger her hand slightly shaking.

"Jennifer can you take the ring and repeat after me" she smiled as JJ looked up at Emily "I give you this ring as I give you my heart" JJ winked as she slipped the ring on Emily's finger.

"I now can say with the greatest of honour and welcome you both into the partnership of life and commitment and with the love shared by everyone here today" she laughed as the two were just looking at each other as she joked "This is the part where you get to kiss" this caused everyone to laugh as they both blushed deeply, before Emily helped JJ up taking her in her arms kissing her softly "We did it baby" JJ whispered her voice thick with emotion as they both looked to their friends and family.

They had finally settled down at the tables which surrounded the dance floor, Morgan cleared his throat as he tapped his glass before standing. "I know you all want to finish your drink get drunk and dance the night away, but I am afraid you have to put up with my boring speech for a few moments if that is okay" he looked at Emily and JJ "don't embarrassed me Morgan" Emily warned in a low voice.

"When I first met Emily, to say I was sceptical of her is putting it mildly, I didn't trust her, I would make her train with more than I had anyone, but after a while she won that trust and we began to talk, well she talked I listened" he joked "She would tell me about things that were personal, we gained each other's trust and it was with that trust and respect that she drove me mad, for the past few years she would tell me how much she liked JJ" he smirked "and that she was too scared to do anything about it, no matter what I said to her, I always got the same answer, she will hate me" he looked at JJ, "Now if anyone knows JJ like we do, she doesn't hate easily aside from some people who will remain nameless" he winked at everyone as the BAU team laughed.

"Yes we all share in that feeling, Emily is my partner my friend and I love her, she is the big sister I sometimes wish I never had, but I know she always has my back and will always put others first no matter what, and that takes real courage, we are more than just a team we are family and Emily entered that family long before she realised, but I just like to give her a hard time" he smirked "Yes I know this speech is long but I also know I could go on all day saying how much this woman means to us all, and when we thought we had lost you it tiered us all apart inside, but it also took you to be unconscious for JJ to admit finally how she felt about you, though I think the threat of us banging their heads together or telling her on each other's behalf might have had something to do with it" he looked at JJ's dad "well since I have burned your ears for now I will pass you over to Anthony"

"Well since you are all still awake after that" he smiled at his daughter "I get to speak but I will keep it short since there are no words to say how happy I am for these two, maybe like the rest of you we knew long before they admitted there feelings to each other" he laughed "Sandy was ready to fly over here after a year of hearing Jennifer talk about Emily on the phone over and over, again, it had got to the point we knew Emily before we ever laid eyes on her" he paused slightly

"Mark had met her though, but I believe no one told Emily who he was I heard the term 'family friend' a lot poor boy was growing a complex, so when Jennifer told us they had finally pulled their fingers out and got together, we broke out the champagne, then when we was told they were engaged Sandy had to come out to see them both, we will admit finding out Emily was pregnant was a shock, but we welcome the two little ones with open arms like we have with Emily, Sarah you made me and Sandy so happy and proud when you asked if you could call us your grandparents and Jennifer you Ma, I know it meant so much to us all" he paused.

"As I bring this to a close so we can all how did Morgan say, drink, dance and get drunk there is something we all want to know before we raise our glasses" he looked at the two "What are you naming our two little grandchildren" everyone laughed, they had all asked, and JJ and Emily had promised them once they were married they would say.

Emily and JJ stood and looked at their friends and family "You sure you want to know?" JJ asked with laughter in her voice "YES!" they all shouted at them, Emily swallowed "Right well it hasn't been easy but" Emily paused as JJ rolled her eyes "Since my wife seems to have lost the inability to speak, Our son will be named after someone who has strived to protect us both, who has been there for Emily when she needed someone to just listen to her, but if he doesn't learn to behave it might get changed" she teased as Morgan shouted "Just tell us please" the last part coming out as a plea "He will be named Morgan Anthony Prentiss" JJ said as she looked at a very stunned Morgan "Really!" he said in disbelief looking at Emily as he dad had tears running down his face "You girls" he stuttered out

Emily took hold of JJ's hand tightly as she began "Our daughter was hard to choose, no matter how long we talked about it and how many times tears were spilt over it and we also prayed that no one would take offense with it, but we both thought long and hard over her name" JJ looked at her parents as she spoke "Jane Andrea Prentiss" JJ said as she bit her lip slightly as she looked at her mom and dad and Emily smiled at Sarah "Jennifer!" her mom smiled as tears fell down her cheeks "You don't mind?" JJ asked slightly unsure "It's just they are the most, well aside from Emily, important people in our lives" Sandy frowned slightly with the rest of them "So who is Jane?" she asked as Sarah and Elizabeth laughed "Well since it would get to confusing having two children named nearly the same and if I name her after my mother, well no offense Mom that would be too strange no matter how much I love you" Emily laugh "Sarah's middle name is Jane" Emily said "And if it weren't for my daughters strength I would never of been here, and I would never have met Jennifer" Emily said as she looked her daughter in the eye "thank you" Sandy stood up walking over to them both "I am so proud of you both and Jennifer I know how much you miss her she would be so proud of the woman you have become" she said with a tear rolling down her cheek "You don't mind?" Sandy shook her head as Anthony spoke "Well since we now know can we all raise our glasses to the lovely brides and wish them health and happiness which they both so rightly deserve" as they all raised their glasses to toast the happy couple

"I believe it is customary for the bride to start the dance" Anthony smiled at them both as they started towards the dance floor, JJ had picked the song to which Emily had no clue as JJ took her hand leading her onto the floor as the soft music washed over them

I've been waiting for this moment for so long An answered prayer,  
I know you are the one  
I give to you my heart and soul  
With a love that will never grow old

In my life, I can see  
That you were made for me  
You'll be there to catch me if I fall  
All the days, I have prayed  
And the love that I have saved  
With this ring, I'm giving you my all

I thank God for the gift He has given me  
A love that's strong for all of eternity  
I give to you all of my days  
with a love for all of your ways

In my life, I can see  
That you were made for me  
I'll be there to catch you if you fall  
All the days, I have prayed  
And the love that I have saved  
With this ring, I'm giving you my all

In the days that we grow old  
the times may change but our love will remain  
as we look back on this day now  
we stood the test of time living the promise of our vow

In my life, I can see  
That you were made for me  
I'll be there to catch you if you fall  
All the days, I have prayed  
And the love that I have saved  
With this ring, I'm giving you my all...

The tears ran down Emily's face as the danced slowly to the music as JJ pulled away to look into her eyes as she spoke softly just as the song finished "with this ring, I'm giving you my all" she sung softly to her before kissing her softly,

Anthony tapped Emily on her shoulder, I believe the next dance belongs to us" he said softly as he took Emily in his hands, Elizabeth stood behind JJ "I may not be her father but I am all she has May I have this dance as well?" JJ nodded as Elizabeth took her hand as the slow soft music flowed over them all

Look at the two of you dancing that way  
Lost in the moment and each other's face  
So much in love your alone in this place  
Like there's nobody else in the world  
I was enough for her not long ago  
I was her number one  
She told me so  
And she still means the world to me  
Just so you know  
So be careful when you hold my girl  
Time changes everything  
Life must go on  
And I'm not gonna stand in your way

But I loved her first and I held her first  
And a place in my heart will always be hers  
From the first breath she breathed  
When she first smiled at me  
I knew the love of a father runs deep  
And I prayed that she'd find you someday  
But it still hard to give her away  
I loved her first

How could that beautiful women with you  
Be the same freckle face kid that I knew  
The one that I read all those fairy tales to  
And tucked into bed all those nights  
And I knew the first time I saw you with her  
It was only a matter of time

But I loved her first and I held her first  
And a place in my heart will always be hers  
From the first breath she breathed  
When she first smiled at me  
I knew the love of a father runs deep  
And I prayed that she'd find you someday  
But it's still hard to give her away  
I loved her first

From the first breath she breathed  
When she first smiled at me  
I knew the love of a father runs deep  
Someday you might know what I'm going through  
When a miracle smiles up at you  
I loved her first

Emily looked at him with tears in their eyes as she spoke "I would give my life to save her from harm and pain" she spoke as the song finished she looked over at her wife seeing her with her mother as she chuckled looking back at him "Never thought I'd see that" she smiled at them both.

Elizabeth smiled at JJ "Thank you for loving her, I know she isn't the easiest for people to get to know, but she loves you and I know with you she is safe and so are my grandchildren" she smiled as JJ wrapped her arms around her "Thank you Elizabeth I will do anything to keep her smiling and happy and safe" JJ said in-between the tears.

The rest of the team and family joined them all on the dance floor, Morgan with Emily, JJ with Rossi, Garcia with Reid teaching him how to dance, Hotch was with Sarah, which both shocked Emily and JJ as they all danced together swapping partners every time the song changed over.

**A/N the lyrics to the songs I use belong to their right full owners  
This Ring- (unity song) by T Carter Music  
I loved her first lyrics Heartland**


	73. Chapter 73

**Chapter 73**

**Location: Hotel Room, Hilton**

**Date: The wedding night.**

Elizabeth had dropped them off after telling them that it was their wedding gift and they would no longer argue about it, so here they were standing in the middle of the president suite "Wow!" JJ said in a whispered breath "Mother never does things small" Emily joked as she looked at her "My wife" she said softly as JJ looked at her "Em, sit down baby, your feet must be killing you" JJ said as she placed a soft kiss on her lips "And you may want to as well" she smirked, they were married now but they had never talked about their last name but JJ knew "I might not have as much as you, but this I give and take willingly baby" she smiled softly as she looked into loving brown eyes "At work I will always be Jareau and JJ to you and our friends, but at home and on our personal things I will be Jennifer Prentiss" She bit her lower lip hoping Emily would be okay with it "Jen, are you, I mean, you don't have to" JJ laughed "I know but I want to, but what I want to do right now is removed you out of them rather lovely clothes so I can see the sexy body which lays beneath" she smirked as she pulled Emily to her feet.

JJ gently removed her jacket as she kissed her jawline making her way to her lips as she began to unbutton her shirt, stilling Emily hand which came to help "Let me please" she whispered as the shirt slowly opened, JJ peppered kisses down on the newly bare skin as the shirt fell to the floor, gently she moved her hand behind Emily's back to uncover her now very large breasts, her tongue ran across her breast catching the already taut nipple as her fingers slowly undid her pants as she guided her back to the bed, removing her panties at the same time, JJ brought her mouth back to the nipple wrapping her lips around it as she gently sucked, causing Emily to let out a sight moan.

Bringing her other hand over to allow her finger to knead her other breast as her fingers rolled the nipple, "Jennifer" Emily moaned at the touch keeping her movement slowly and soft she trailed her hand to rest on her stomach as her lips followed the same path as Emily's breath hitched "Shh, you're okay Em, promise" she whispered as she ran her tongue over the protruding bump, her fingers trailed down the inside of her legs gently up towards her groan. As her lips moved lower Emily couldn't help but moan, "Jen" she breathed.

Emily hadn't allowed this the thought of JJ near her core scared her, but right now, right in this moment all her fears disappeared, even though she knew JJ couldn't make love the way she was able to make love to her, in all this was something JJ needed right now.

Emily opened her legs slightly giving the blonde permission were in the past she had refused her lips feathered over her core as she blew cool air against her skin, taking in her arousal, "beautiful" JJ murmured as she ran her tongue gently through her core, as she reached one hand up to twist her nipple as she continued to dip her tongue in her folds, Emily moaned loudly "Please" she whimpered, it wasn't a request to stop but a request for release, JJ managed to coax her clit out of its protective hood as she ran her tongue over it gently before wrapping her lips around and sucking gently "Yes, yes" Emily nearly screamed feeling JJ on her clit, rolling it between her teeth before running her tongue over it to sooth.

It had been too long since she had allowed anyone near her core and she was close to climax as JJ continued to teased, nip and suck on her bundle of nerves "so close baby" Emily whispered as JJ smiled against her core, gently she rolled her nipple as she brought her tongue away running it through her folds the intoxicating taste of her wife running on her tongue and sending her stomach into a frenzy of her own want and need, she placed a finger against her clit and gently rubbed adding pressure as she continued to run her tongue through her folds, "Yes, Jennifer, Yes" Emily chanted as she felt herself left go the climax ripping through her body.

JJ readily excepted her release taking in all of her as she trailed soft kisses back up her torso paying attention to her beautiful breast gently she sucked against her nipple before carrying on towards her beautiful lips. "Mmm" JJ moaned softly as she placed a soft kiss against her lips before deeping it as Emily allowed her entrance, a tear rolled down the brunette cheek as she tasted herself on JJ, she moaned softly into her mouth as they pulled away when the need for air became too much, JJ looked into tear filled eyes smiling softly "You okay baby" Emily nodded her smile lighting her eyes "I love you Jennifer" she said softly as she ran her fingers through her hair "thank you" JJ smiled softly, "you are beautiful and you are my new addiction" she smirked

Emily frowned slightly "You have too many clothes on Mrs. Prentiss" Emily said as she tried to sit up, JJ laughed "well it wouldn't be right for me to undress myself now would it" Emily grinned as JJ stood up giving her access to the back of her dress, which in turn made Emily unzip it very slowly as she kissed her neck, the past three months Emily had learnt how to play JJ's body like a finely tuned instrument, slowly she revealed her back as Emily let out a slightly giggle "You dance with my mother with no bra on" Emily mused as she carefully removed the dress as JJ just hummed and moaned into the touches.

She guided JJ to the bed so she was laying down though her mouth never left her pulse point nipping and sucking against it as her finger toyed with her nipple "God Emily, I need you to kiss me" JJ moaned out loudly, Emily smiled against her neck as she kissed her way up to her jawline before claiming her lips with her own, running her tongue along her bottom lip asking for entry which J was all too happy to give as they deepened the kiss, Emily swallowed JJ's moans as she rolled her nipple between her fingers, as the need for air brought them apart, "Mmm" Emily let out in a slight moan as she moved away from her mouth, she wrapped her lips around her nipple as she sucked against it, pulling another moan from the blonde.

Emily loved to hear her moan as she carried on with her path to where she wanted to be and were JJ was needing her, JJ curled her fingers in Emily's hair as her mouth started to trail down her body "Don't tease" JJ warned as Emily was taking her sweet time, and JJ was already on the brink "Your wish" Emily smirked as she managed to settle between her legs.

Emily blew cool air over her core before her tongue feathered over her folds teasingly, JJ moaned louder, her body highly attuned and aroused as she felt a tongue run up the full length of her core, Emily smiled and moan as she breathed in the smell of her arousal gently coxing her clit from the hood as her tongue ghosted over it before gently taking it between her lips.

JJ gasped her fingers tangling in the brunettes causing her to look up which intern caused her to moan before settling back between her legs, JJ was flushed with arousal as she moaned loudly she already close to her climax "Yes, Emily, yes" she almost chanted as Emily dipped her tongue into her core, before returning back to sucking and nipping on her clit, slowly and gently Emily ran her finger through her folds her mouth never breaking contact she eased two fingers in to her centre as she gently pushed her in to her climax.

She waited for the waves of her climax to settle as she removed her fingers JJ moaned softly at the loss of contact as Emily trailed kisses up towards her lips pulling her into a passionate kiss running her tongue along JJ's lower lip to be allowed entry which JJ was all too willing to give, Emily moaned into her mouth as they could taste each other, gently she pulled away when the need for air became too much for them she smiled softly into swirling blue eyes "I love you" Emily whispered. JJ still reeling from the climax that had taken over her senses smiled lovingly at her "Mmm I love you too Emily" was all she managed as she moved closer to Emily's body.


	74. Chapter 74

**Chapter 74**

**Time for Reid and Prentiss to talk ;o)**

**Location: BAU**

**Date: 2/7/07. 8.45am**

Emily sat at her desk with Morgan perched on it talking to her, to him she was listening but Emily was in a world of her own, feeling the baby's movements inside her. "Are you even listening to me Prentiss?" Morgan asked, Emily looked at him "If you think so then yes" she really had no clue what he was going on about, he shook his head.

"So what's is going on in that pretty little head of yours" he smiled knowing she was in fact not listening to him, she reached forward taking hold of his hand "this is" she smiled as she guided his hand on to her stomach, his eyes went wide as he felt them kick "Does that hurt?" "Only if they catch my ribs and if they kick my bladder" she smiled

"What's going on?" Reid asked as he made is way from the kitchen, Morgan beamed "Come here kid and feel this" he said as he kept his hand on her stomach, Reid frowned slightly "No thanks" he said with a weak smile "Reid!" Emily said as she became concerned, Reid had been lacks in her life for months and it was showing more and more, he wouldn't come round he couldn't look at her, she noticed Morgan had but the rest well not so much.

She sighed softly as she looked at Morgan "Give us a minute" she asked as he looked between Emily and Reid "I'll go annoy your wife for a while" he grinned as Emily rolled her eyes slightly "Reid? What's with you?" she asked softly "Nothing is wrong with me nothing" Emily closed her eyes taking a breather "Then why can't you look at me" she asked carefully, for the first time in months he looked at her really looked at her, his eyes were sad and hurt as she looked into them.

"Reid what's going on? Have I done something to upset you?" "NO!" he more or less yelled at her, holding her hands up to him "Then what is going on" she asked the concern thick in her voice, he looked to the floor as he tried to think of what his mind had been spinning over and around for the past few months.

He looked at her again briefly his face and eyes were unsure and worried "Talk to me Reid, I can't help unless you talk to me" she tried again, he was like her brother and JJ had a habit of being like his mother at time, he may be a genius but sometimes he was as shy and unsure as a small child and right now that was what he was showing, he was scared.

He shook his head "I'm fine everyone is fine, I don't understand why you're asking me, everything is just fine" Emily raised her eyebrow at him as she spoke "Reid, don't lie to me, you are one of my closest friends and yet, you cannot look at me or speak to me without it being about a case, so I will ask you again. What have I done to upset you" Emily asked more firmly.

"You haven't done anything" he said in a sharp tone as Emily raised her voice slightly "So I haven't done anything at all, then why are you fine with everyone else aside from me Reid, since you found out I was pregnant you haven't so much of looked at me" "It's not that, it's nothing just leave it" "Fine Reid just answer me one question, DO I Disgust you?"

JJ and Morgan stepped onto the walkway as they head Emily raise her voice. They looked on as Emily shouted the last words, JJ's heart fell slightly as Morgan glare at them both before resting his hand on JJ "Just let them shout it out JJ" he said softly

Reid glared at her "Disgust me? No you don't but them, that everything" for the first time Reid couldn't form the words he wanted to say as Emily looked at him in slight shock "So these unborn children disgust you!" she growled out "They aren't even born yet and you, That also means I disgust you since I am carrying them Reid" she shouted into a now very quiet bullpen.

"It's not that" he said lowering his voice slightly "Then what Reid come on you have more or less said these disgust you, so out with the god damn rest of it" she said in anger, he looked at her his eyes sad, he couldn't understand why she kept the babies, and he couldn't understand why no one would talk about what happened, watching her get beaten and violated had ripped his heart apart and he just didn't know, who or how to ask or talk about it.

By now the rest of the team were gathered on the walkway, Morgan telling them not to step in and let it play out, he knew they both needed this, even though Morgan knew how bad her temper could be but as Reid spoke, it pulled at them all, they never spoke about it, and Emily had tried to block it away, Garcia had been watching them on the camera seeing the team standing there watching as her two best friends went at it, she slowly made her way up to the bullpen sneaking into the kitchen so she could listen to what was going on.

"I am waiting Reid, we sort this right now! Because I am sick of it, I am sick of my friend avoiding me unless it is work related" he looked her straight in her eyes as he spoke "We don't talk about it, no of us" her eyes softened as she looked at him "Spence" she said in a slight breathe "I just, don't know how you can be strong and you act as though nothing happened but it did, I saw it, I heard it and no one speaks about it" Emily walked over to him resting her hand on his shoulder and speaking loudly so everyone heard.

"You listen to me okay" she said as she looked at him "I does get to me every day, every time I close my eyes it is there, ask JJ she has held me enough when I have broken, I am not as strong as you seem to think I am, but these" she placed her hand over her bump "It is not their fault how they came to be, yes sometimes I look at myself and the shame gets to me" she rested her hand on his cheek rubbing it as a mother would do with her child.

"I am just not ready to deal with it Reid, but I am getting there and it is becoming easier, but having someone I care about look at me with hurt and sadness like you, it breaks my heart, I love you Spence, but your asking something I am just not ready to cope or deal with and when I am I will talk to you about it" she gave him a small smile "Sometimes I forget, that you struggle with these things, that you find it hard, and maybe you don't understand everything though you are a genius" he nodded as he spoke "I'm sorry" she smiled at him

"Reid just because I can't talk about it, I know five other people who will talk to you about it with you, but you need to stop blaming me and punishing yourself" she said as she wrapped her arms around him "We will get through all this Reid I promise, it just doesn't happen all at once" she kissed his cheek "Now can I please have my friend back" He smiled at her for the first time in months as he nodded "let's get some work done kiddo" she winked as they both turned around to see the team all lined up on the walkway, Emily just nodded with a small smile, before sitting back at her desk.

Morgan looked at JJ "You okay?" she nodded "How did I not see this coming" she whispered "we are all too busy watching out for her we didn't notice" he smiled "but they sorted it for now" as he winked "You knew?" she asked "I knew, I saw, but that's because I am down there with them and not in an office" he smirked "she will be fine JJ" he promised before heading back down, he rested his hand on her shoulder as she nodded.

"Hey kid, you want to go out after work, unless we have a case" he asked as he sat back down "Will the others be coming?" Emily laughed "check with the boss" as she looked towards JJ's office "never thought I would see the day when someone had you whipped princess" he joked as she shook her head slightly "I'm sure Garcia will go though, and if JJ wants to then we will come as well, depending on where your thinking of going" she smirked as she pulled the case file out.

JJ finally came out of her for lunch "you guys coming for something to eat?" she smiled as she rubbed Emily shoulders "Only if you're buying" Morgan said grinning "Maybe I will" she winked, as she looked at them "So you ready?" she asked as Emily closed the consult she was working on "I am, Reid?" Emily asked softly "Sure just give me a second he said as Morgan and Emily started towards the elevator.

JJ walked over to Reid as she smiled at him "You could have come and spoke to me Spence" she said softly as he shook his head "I didn't want to add to your stress" he looked at her "I know, but watching you two tear shreds off each other add to it" she joked "Come on your brain needs to be fed" she said as they both made their way over to the others.

"So JJ, are you going to come out with me and pretty boy tonight" he smiled as they all sat around the table, she groaned slightly "I could use a night out" she admitted before looking at Emily "That would be a yes then" Morgan laughed "Princess, you're going to come too aren't you?" "Only if you promise not to drag me onto the dance floor" she smirked "Em" JJ said softly as she looked at her wife "Unless these two have other ideas, but if they do make sure, you get her home safe" Emily smiled, she knew JJ needed to get out and let her hair down and Emily was not going to allow her to get out of it.


	75. Chapter 75

**Chapter 75**

**Location: Q22 (pub/bar)**

**Time: 7.04pm**

"You sure she will be okay?" he asked looking at her "I am sure she is a grown women, in case you have forgotten" JJ laughed "You know what I meant" Morgan said as he handed the beers out. JJ moaned slightly as the sweet taste of amber ran down her throat "It's been too long since I have had this" she mused "Then you best not get too drunk" Reid smirked as he sipped his beer.

"You up for a game of darts" Garcia asked "You really want to go up against our little vixen?" Morgan said "Hey, I promise to go easy on you all" JJ mused; she had grown up playing darts and everyone knew how good she was. "Maybe you're a little rusty, you know with playing house wife" she scoff "I am no house wife" "Then let's go have so much needed fun" Morgan and Garcia grinned as the foursome made their way over to the darts board.

"So when did you start coming here?" JJ asked as she handed around the darts. Morgan ran his hand over his head as he spoke "Since Prentiss, we just couldn't go there" he admitted, JJ nodded in understanding as they started their game; they played doubles, JJ and Garcia leading by 80 points.

Another group had settled behind them watching them play as a very familiar voice drifted in their ears. "You don't want to go up against them" the woman said as she glared at JJ "Why you say that?" one of the women said "They play dirty" "Oh you know them?" "I use to, though I'm glad I don't anymore" JJ turned and glared at the women who were sat right behind them.

The woman whispered "The blonde thinks she is so good" the other woman nodded "You don't like her much do you?" she mused "Been there, done that and never again" she said loudly "She just wouldn't put out" "I see, all looks and no action?"

JJ listened the whole team listened as they spoke "I believe she with someone, she must be good at something, since she is frigid as hell, anything other than kissing she freaks" she mused, JJ groaned as she turned round "Just what the hell is your problem" JJ said as she glared "Not me at has the problem, Blondie" Elle laughed.

The other women just ignored the four of them as she spoke "See what you mean, good looking, but that would be about it, what did you see in her?" "She was nice, they all were really until I needed them or I wanted to get past first base" Elle mused looking back at her friend.

"JJ you okay" Reid whispered as he could sense her temper boiling "Ever thought you weren't worth it?" JJ said slightly nastier than she meant to "I think we should leave" Garcia mumbled from behind "Oh, what's your problem, no one here to protect you?" she mused "You left Elle, you just walked away" Morgan said as he walked behind JJ.

"So who is your next victim JJ, or has she too got tired of waiting for you to put out" JJ tensed up slightly "You're really full of yourself Elle, aren't you" JJ laughed out, Elle stood up getting slightly in her personal space, Morgan groaned **'this wasn't going to go well'** he thought "So tell me JJ, what is your new bit of skirt like, someone in the office again, or you just sleeping around" Elle never saw it coming, but she felt it, her cheek burned as JJ hand whipped across he face leaving a bright red hand print in its place, Morgan could help but chuckle softly behind her, Garcia was mentally high fiving her and Reid was speaking to someone on the phone.

"You hit me" Elle said in shock "I think you will find that was a slap, now get out of my face Elle" JJ fumed ,just as Morgan grabbed her hand "Come on lets go JJ" he whispered to her "Oh, you batting for the other team now" Elle taunted as she noticed the wedding band "Who took pity on you" she laughed before turning away.

"No wonder Hotch let you go so easy" Morgan laughed as he tried to get JJ to go with him "What did you say" Elle shouted "I think you heard me well enough, now if you don't mind we are here for a goodtime not to be around someone like you" Morgan said with a slight warning in his voice.

"JJ if I don't get you home in one piece your wife will kill me" Morgan whispered; even though JJ had a worse temper than Emily, it only showed every so often and when it did everyone hid, even Emily moved out of her way. "Don't allow that to ruin our night" Garcia said as they all turned to walk away.

The next thing anyone knew was JJ on the floor with one pissed off Elle on top of her "You bitch" she screamed as everyone turned to look "Had to wait till my back was turn" JJ said as she hit Elle again, "Elle get off her" Morgan warned behind her, just as Elle's fist made contact with her eye.

They swapped blow for blow on each other as Morgan tried to get Elle off her **'I am dead meat'** Morgan cringed inwardly as a crowd gathered round them watching the two women fight.

**(Meanwhile Reid was talking to someone)**

"I am serious" he paused "No Elle is here, you know who I mean now" he glanced over as he watched the two of them go at each other "Don't kill us but they are" Reid pulled the phone away from his ear "We are at Q22, you know where it is?" he asked just as his phone got cut off.

Emily had pulled herself off the bed, getting dressed as she rung Rossi "Can you come and get me before my wife gets locked up" she said slightly pissed off "What's going on Prentiss" he asked "Remember Elle" that one name was all it took "Be there in five" Rossi said as he ended the call.

"You little bitch" Elle shouted just as JJ head butted her "You're a bigger bitch than me" Morgan had stepped back as he had no way of separating them both and no one in the bar seemed to care aside from standing around watching "Emily is going to go mad" Garcia whispered to the two men "She already is mad and on her way" Reid admitted "You didn't kid, she will kill her then me then you two and god knows what she will say to JJ" Morgan said in shock.

"If we didn't tell her, she would make it a slow painful death, I for one would rather go quickly" Reid said as Garcia saw a very pissed off Emily and Rossi walking towards them both "Morgan" she said her voice a slight warning "Have you ever tried to get between to women fighting" He said as he looked at Rossi. "ENOUGH!" Rossi shouted causing both women to stop and look up.

One very heavily pregnant Emily glared at them both, Elle looked at the brunette and then back at JJ "That's what your with, a pregnant slag" Elle said in a low voice which only JJ could hear. JJ closed her eyes as her temper took over, next thing Elle knew JJ was on top of her glaring into her eyes as she spoke loudly "One that is my wife, second she is not a slag and third you are the biggest fucking slag I know!" JJ shouted just as her fist made contact with her jaw "This is your only warning, you think I am bad, be grateful she hasn't got her gun on her, unlike you she would do it with witnesses" JJ scolded just as Rossi pulled her off.

"You are not welcome here do I make myself clear, I suggest you leave and make sure I never lay eyes on you again" Rossi said as he got right up in Elle's face "I young lady am your worst nightmare" he warned as the group hushed JJ outside leaving Rossi and Morgan glaring at Elle.

Once they were all outside Emily eyed her wife up "You need to get looked at" she said pointedly, JJ nodded "Sorry" Emily laughed "Jennifer you know how sexy that looked, well aside from you are going to have fun explaining how you have got, a black eye, a split lip, a busted nose and by the looks of it sore ribs" Emily rattled off as she glared at Morgan.

"Not my fault princess" he held his hands up as he looked at Emily "You, was mean to bring her home in one piece and one piece does not include a bloody mess, and a trip to the hospital and you are so damn lucky the police never got called" Emily said firmly as Rossi walked over to check on JJ.

"She looks worse kiddo" he smiled softly at her "Em, it wasn't his fault" JJ said looking at her "Let me check your ribs and then see if you need to go to the ER" "NO!" both JJ and Emily shouted, which they didn't mean to shout "JJ you took a fair beating I just want to make sure it's not too bad" JJ shook her head standing close to Emily "I am fine Emily will check once we either get home or to the hospital" she said and with the look on Emily's face they were going to the hospital.


	76. Chapter 76

**Chapter 76**

**Location: BAU**

**Date: 26/6/07. 7.35am**

"Talk to me JayJ, I know there is something not right" Garcia pleaded, JJ looked at her for a moment before shaking her head "Look JJ, we all saw the other day and it does not take a profiler to know that it upset you" she paused taking her hand "You can't protect her from everything" she said softly

"Yes it upset me and not just what happened between her and Reid" she pulled her hand away from her wrapping her arms around her waist "I saw Morgan with her, anytime, I can't" she slump her shoulders

"I can't be happy about her being pregnancy, I just can't" she blurted out "Why on earth not?" Garcia said as she looked at her in shock "You have spoken about the babies surely" Garcia watched her as JJ looked down "Not really" she finally admitted.

"Why on earth not" JJ let out a dry laugh as she spoke "You know, that is the first time she has touched her stomach, and not looked uncomfortable" she paused "Jeeze, we haven't even got anything yet, aside from what we went and got, I just can't bring myself to speak to her about it" Garcia was totally confused "You have named them so surely you have talked about them" she pushed, JJ sighed as she sat down.

"I can't allow myself to be 'all happy'" she said as she raised her arms "What if she has them and doesn't want them, what if I can't see past how they came to be, Pen what if, I am scared to get close" she let out as a whisper. "Have you told her this?" JJ looked at her "No, she, damn it Garcia, I don't know how to, hell it's just so hard, I don't want to bring up memories I don't want to push, we go to the scans, but after the scan has been done, we sweep it aside" she took a breath trying to calm herself down.

"JJ, why are you so scared," JJ turned away "Everything is so hard, I stay strong for her, I hold her when she wakes from a nightmares, some night's I just watch her sleep, I want to hold her I want to cuddle into her, talk to the little ones that are inside her" she looked at her with tears in her eyes "I am not even sure she wants to keep them anymore, we are missing out on so much and if we can't find a way to get into the joys of becoming parents, I just don't know what to do"

Garcia smiled softly "First off you're going to become a mom as well, not just Emily, you have said it yourself, all you see is her and not how they came to be, you are them babies mommy as well, and you need to realize that or you are going to turn around and they will be here, crying for two people, who won't be able to cope" she said gently.

"You both need to forget how they were conceived because unless he can come back to life, which I am pretty sure he can't, since Morgan is a damn good shot, they do not need to know, but they also need their mommy's to bond with them before they are born into this big wide world, you need to be ready"

JJ laughed slightly "Yeah cause me and Emily are doing so well with the talking, and the bonding" she rolled her eyes "You're not talking?" "I didn't mean it like that we talk about everything other than her very large bump, I just, Garcia I am scared to bond, what if something happens" Garcia looked at her "Have you not spoken to your therapist about all these fears you have?" JJ started to chew on her lower lip as she whispered "haven't been since February" she admitted "Why on earth not"

"Cases, lack of sleep, stressing over the fact that Emily isn't hyper about becoming a mom, if it's not her with nightmares, it's me and when Sarah stays, she is having them to" she paused "All I want is for us to be able to be a family, but watching Morgan with her, touching her stomach, I haven't even felt them kick yet"

Garcia gasped "Jennifer Prentiss, you need to talk to her right now! You have to tell her this" she said in a slightly raised voice "You cannot allow yourselves to drift apart because you are so busy trying to save the other ones feelings"

"How do I talk to her about something that even I can't get my head around?" JJ asked as she looked at her best friend "You know it has taken me over four months to get the images of her in that place out of my mind, four months Garcia FOUR Months of fear pain and worry, I am running on around 3 hours sleep a day and that's if I am lucky, I need her Pen, but how do I tell her that, I need her as much as she needs me, and I need to be able to be with her through this, she had no one when she had Sarah, not really she went through it alone, her dad wanted her to have an abortion, Elizabeth only came around once Sarah was born, how do I tell her I am here and I want and need to be part of it apart of everything, I want to feel them kick, I want to cry, I want to know when they kick her bladder or her ribs, I want to lay with my head on her stomach and just listen to them" JJ said as the sobs ripped through her chest "I need her to tell me we are going to be a family, I need Sarah to know she is part of our family, and get her to see she is going to be a sister" she paused "I have all these things going around in my head and I do not know what to do with it all"

"JJ if you can't talk to her then writes it down, she loves you JJ, and maybe she is scared herself? We all joke around and say she's Emily and nothing bothers her but you know different to us, you live with her you love her, I bet she doesn't even see what this is doing to you"

she smiled softly at her "JJ all the guys have been waiting for you to speak to them so they can help you, this is something you can't do alone no matter how much you try, but you need to tell her everything, how you are feeling your fears, your wishes for your children not hers yours as in both of yours" JJ nodded "Thanks Pen" she said as she got up "I just want to go and blow money on baby stuff and not have others do it for us" she whispered as she opened the door "I know honey, just talk to her and let her know"

**Location: JJ's Office**

'**Well this is one way to spend the day'** she mused as she stared at the paper in front of her **'How do I tell you this Em'** the thoughts swirled in her mind, she had been sat in her office for the past two hours thinking over everything, trying to put her thoughts in to words, trying to make sense of her feelings, in all she was glad there were no urgent cases and that everyone seemed to have the good sense to leave her alone today.

**Dear Emily,** (god that sounded so lame)

**My sweet baby my sweetheart,**

**I need you to know how I am feeling, I need you to see how much I need you, I haven't slept much in the past few months and when I say past I am talking about ever since we found you.**

**I watch you all the time, just to make sure you're okay, that your safe, I hate seeing your cry, but also I need to see you cry.**

**God do I even make sense….**

**Sweetheart your pregnant and I know you will sit there looking at this, thinking I am having a blonde moment, which I'm not, what I am getting at or what I am trying to say is, WE are pregnant NOT you WE!**

**God I was so jealous the other day, Baby do you know I haven't even felt them but Morgan has! Do you know how that makes me feel, they are going to be born and not know who the hell I am!**

**I have started to worry that you don't want them, Emily you are so damn well stubborn at times, when Morgan felt our babies, it was the first time you looked comfortable rubbing your own stomach and you didn't even realize you were doing it, but I also want to be the one to rub your stomach, I NEED to know when they kick you.**

**I NEED to be the one who soothes you after they have hurt you or caught a rib, your bladder, hell Em if I hadn't of heard you two talking I wouldn't of known!**

**Sweetheart WE are going to be parents WE not just you, both of us. I need you to stop hiding from me and talk to me! I love you so much but right now I am struggling.**

**I want to go and blow a stupid amount of money on things we may not need for them, I want us to be them happy hyper people expecting their first born children.**

**I know Sarah is your daughter and their sister, but does she understand that she is part of OUR family and she will play a big part in their lives as well.**

**I want them to know my voice before they come into the big wide world. I don't want to be on the side-lines.**

**I need to be part of this pregnancy too. Yes we go for scans. But when is the last time you let me look at you, and I mean really look at you, your body is changing so much and I want to see that. NO I need to see it.**

**I want you to tell me what it feels like and how uncomfortable you really are, instead of you hiding away from me, or pulling away. I need you to tell me I am their mother as well.**

**Baby I might not have been the one who got you pregnant, and as my mom pointed out so nicely. I don't have the right equipment but I am their 'father' in a sense anyway.**

**I am going to be there every step of the way if you would just let me! Instead of hiding behind them god damned walls of yours. You have them so high around you that I MISS YOU!**

**Please let me in. please let me be in this with you, you are not alone this time and you don't have to do this alone ever, I am here waiting for you with my arms wide open, if only you could see it.**

**Please tell me what I can do! To make you see this is the best thing that could happen to US, this is OUR family, but will we be ready for them?**

**Damn it Em I want to be happy about this, but how can I be when I am so far away from YOU and OUR children, they are going to know Morgan NOT me at this rate and it kills me…**

**I want my wife back! I need my wife back! I need my wife to know she is allowed to be happy about becoming a mommy that we are going to be mommies.**

**I don't want to turn around in 2 years' time and regret this or feel we have miss out on so much, but the time soon goes, and before we know it we will be up and running around like headless chickens trying to keep up with them.**

**I want to be able to hold you rub your back and not worry that you fear my touch or you thinking I don't want these babies OUR babies because I DO! I need you to see that!**

**Please baby I am begging you, let me in pull them walls down and stop running from me.**

**Don't allow us to regret this time baby, I am right here and I need for you to see this.**

**I know I may be rambling but I don't know what else to do. Hell Em I don't even know how to talk to you about this. I am scared baby I am so scared we are going to be PARENTS we are going to be a FAMILY and I need for you to understand YOU are NOT alone in this. Please tell me what to do! Please!**

**I don't want to hide my fears or my tears from you like I have been doing. I need you to be here for, I want you to be here for me, I love you so much and this, this pushing me away hurts so bad.**

**Baby I didn't even know Reid was being off handed with you and I should have seen or you should have told me, it should not have built into a shouting match in the middle of the bullpen, do you know how that made me feel?**

**I didn't know that he was struggling, I treat him like my kid, but I want to be able to treat OUR children like that even before they are born, I want to play music to them.**

**I want to see your stomach move with them, I want to get lost in you when you tell me how it feels, what they are doing inside you I need it baby so badly.**

**If only you would allow me in, to be there with you through this! I love you with all my heart; I stand by the vows we made to each other.**

**And I won't allow this anymore baby because, I damn well need you to see me and see that these are OUR children and NOT the sperm donor, because that is all he is baby.!**

**I love you baby always please just talk to me!**

I need you to realise that this is our life together as a couple. I married you to be a family because I love you more than anything in this world. I want us to be a proper family. I want to be a Mom, a proper Mom; to overcome our fears of parenting together as a couple. I have all this love to give for the babies and want to use it. As sad as it is I want to be a classic soccer Mom for our twins and Sarah.

When I told you I could see you with kids I meant it and now I get a chance to experience that amazing journey with you, so please let. I want to hold them read them baby star.

For you to teach them to be bilingual like you are (but me as well) don't need them swearing and me sitting there with a silly grin on my face when you glare at them.

They are going to be stubborn like you, but they are also going to be loved by us all, the team is also our family, I can see Reid teaching them so much like PI and statistics on things, I want to also shield them from our work.

I don't want them to see the evil that fills our world I want them to know love and understand pain, but I don't want them to feel any just like I don't want you to feel pain.

I want to see that goofy smile, you know the one you get when you're thinking, I want them to take after me and play soccer, when we went out the other night they joked I was a stay at home Mom and you know it warmed my heart. Because I am their Mom and so are you.

I want you to shout at me when we trail mud through the house. I want to bandage there cuts and heal their bruises when they fall; I want them to see how much good and how much this world has to offer.

Do you know I dream about them and us I can see it baby, I can see us a real family our own paradise, I want Sarah to get into soccer, I want them to love those books you read and become nerds like you. I want them to know they can come to us.

I want to be there when they have their first crush one someone. I want them to believe they can be anything they want to be in life.

Garcia grew up with adoptive parents Morgan lost father, Reid father abandoned him...family is who is around you and loving you - not DNA baby look at it another way, we have been given a girt a very rare gift to bring new life into this world, for them to know love like we love each other.

I want you to watch soccer over and over again because I will have brain washed them to be redskin's fans ;) just so I can take them to the game. I want us to take them to the zoo so they can see the animals and maybe leave you in the monkey cage just to make them laugh at us for being silly.

I want us to spoil them but not too much, but baby most of all I want to do that with you and only you, they will grow up to be like us, strong and loving, kind and stubborn like you, and open and honest with us because I know we could never judge them for being themselves.

I can see us all cuddling on the sofa watching Disney films and us laughing at all the sexual innuendos that they don't understand, the innocent of a child is a gift and god baby I can't wait.

I want to see Sarah with them, can you see it baby them running rings round her and she won't even see they have her wrapped around their fingers, she is so much like you baby, and she had a sperm donor not a father, so no matter what the DNA is or who it is from, they are going to be just like you and like me, so god help us ha-ha

I want them to like the food we don't and hate the food we like, love sweets like I do and have the healthy side like you, I want to see you chasing after them, I want us to be able to come home from a bad case and bathe in there love and innocents so we can forget the horrors we see.

I also want to strap music to your stomach so when we make love you don't taint their ears when you swear I want them to see how we fit and we love each other.

I want them to try and catch Morgan as he rides his bike bringing them up the rear, Hotch is so loving when he is with Jack can you see him with these two because I can baby.

I can see Rossi becoming the over protective Granddad chasing boys away from Jane if he doesn't like the look of them.

Or Garcia running back ground checks on them all, as long as she doesn't teach them to hack into the FBI or CIA or anything that could land them in jail. We would have a fun time explaining that to Elizabeth wouldn't we.

Baby we have such a support network and a very big family even though some of them are not related by blood, Morgan would give his life for yours and mine safety can you imagine him with our children, might have to hide if they get upset with us if we have said something wrong.

I want them to have your quick wit maybe not my temper because I know you don't like it baby. I know they will see past our scars and see us like we do; they will comfort us when we have a bad day because they won't know what one is.

I want parties as they grow older but also I don't want them to grow older because that would mean we are I want so much baby and I can't explain it all, we have so much love to give and we will have so much to share with them and our family and we know babysitting isn't going to be a problem ;) I can already see Garcia working out a little plan to get them alone with her and Morgan.

Can you see what I see sweetheart, you are my world and my world includes our children and yes Sarah is also classed as my child though she is an adult so don't tell her that please.

You know the day I became your wife it made me complete, baby with you I am whole I found my soul mate the one I am to be with for ever and when I call you my wife it sends shivers down my spine and I get butterflies because you do that baby you no one else.

I never thought I would find anyone and you came alone and stole my heart and soul and baby I am so happy I catch myself playing with my rings because they were made with love and I also see you doing it and god it warms me so much, it makes me able to carry on when I look at something, or I get scared but I know you will protect me like I will you and god help anyone who hurts our children cause you know I am the best shooter on our team I aim I score.

A bit like soccer really oh boy we are going to be overrun with soccer; you're going to groan I'm going to be in soccer heaven. But we will deal with everything together because together we are complete.

Have I told you how much I love you my beautiful damn right sexy wife. I will always look after your heart like you do mine sweetheart.

Darling I am yours forever and always

Jen xxxxxxx


	77. Chapter 77

**Chapter 77**

JJ was quite she had been out of her office until now and this now was 2.15. Emily looked up at her on the catwalk, tracking her every step, Emily just knew there was something wrong **'case'** She mouthed, once JJ had turned to look at her, JJ never smiled at her and seemed to look straight passed her as she shook her head.

Emily looked behind her seeing if she could see something like JJ had, but there was nothing there, Morgan rested he hand on her shoulder causing her to jump slightly as she looked at him "That doesn't look good princess, what's wrong with her" Emily turned to look at him "I have no clue"

She bit her lower lip as she watched JJ leave Hotch's office walking over to her "Is everything okay Jen?" JJ looked at her, her eyes soft and worried "Can you take me home" she whispered "I've cleared it with Hotch" she gave a weak smile as she looked at Morgan "Can you?" she asked as he nodded "Just leave it Prentiss" He smiled at them both "feel better JJ" He offered as JJ just closed her eyes slightly as Emily took her hand in hers.

"Jen what's wrong?" Emily asked once they had got into the safety of their car. "Can you just get me home, please Em" she looked at her sadly, Emily nodded "Okay babe" she gave a small smile as they started to head home.

Emily's mind raced with what could be wrong what she had done and more importantly, who had upset her wife! They pulled into the driveway, JJ was still quite as they made their way to their home.

"Come-on sweetie let's get you inside" Emily said softly. JJ nodded, she was so scared to let Emily read what she had written, worried she would take it the wrong way, but how else could she get her to see, how much she was hurting, how scared she was of becoming a parent **'I can do this'** she thought to herself as they made the way into the kitchen.

"Baby sit down for a moment" JJ said softly, "Jen what's going on?" JJ smiled at her softly as she placed her hand on her cheek running her thumb soothingly over her skin "I need you to do something for me, I need you to just read this while I go and have a shower, please" she asked, she couldn't be there and watch her read it "Then we will talk I promise" she placed a soft kiss on her cheek as she handed her the letter. "Em, I love you so much" she whispered "I love you too Jen" she said as she looked down at the paper that had been placed in her hand.

'**This is it, I did it I gave her the letter, god what if she hates me for it!'** she thought to herself as she stepped into the shower letting the tears fall from her face masked by the sound and the running of the water over her.

Emily stared at it for a moment as she opened the letter her heart sunk slightly as she read the top, the tears ran down her face as she took in what JJ was trying to say to her **'I've done this'** she thought to herself as she read the words over and over **'she needs me'** she thought sadly. **'When did I stop being there for her'**

Half an hour had past as she waited for any sign of the blonde coming back down, getting up to make them both a drink, JJ had pulled at her heart, she needed her too, she hadn't meant to push her away, she didn't even know she had.

She was lost in her thoughts as JJ walked up behind her "Hey baby" she said softly as wrapped her arms around her Emily leant into her solid frame "I made you a coffee" Emily said in a whisper "Em, come with me" she said softly as she took hold of her hand.

Emily took her hand as she walked her over to the table to sit down "Can we talk?" Emily said as she started to toy with the letter "About this baby" she held it up still open "I was hoping we could sweetheart"

Emily shook her head slightly "Jen, I want to say I am sorry before we talk though and I am so sorry" Emily said softly as she reached her hand towards JJ, she took hold of it intertwining their fingers "I know that baby" she smiled

Emily took a breather as she tried to find the words "I had no idea, that this is how you feel sweetie" Emily said "I know you didn't, because I didn't know how to talk to you" JJ said softly.

"Jennifer I am so sorry, for not seeing this, sometimes I forget that you need me to be there for you, I am scared as well, but how can you see past the fact of who and how they came to be" she looked at her with sad eyes "Because I really wish I could but I really want you with me in this" JJ smiled "I can see past the sperm donor, because they are part of you, they will grow to be like us not him"

"Why don't you wake me when you've had a bad dream? I'm I that hard to talk to Jen?" JJ shook her head "No you're not, I don't want you to worry about me, but I also need you baby so badly, I need you to tell me we are going to be al" Emily cut her off slightly "Jen listen to me, we are going to be okay, because you have shown me how badly I have been treating you"

"Its, you haven't" Emily looked at her " yes I have because I should have seen how hard this is for you, I should have seen you were struggling, I can tell how little sleep you've had because my beautiful wife eyes have become dull and sad and I put that there, not you, not Rob and not these two babies, but me and I need to make that right"

"Em, they are our babies they are not a them but ours!" "You have no reason to be jealous, but I can also see why you are, I want you to be happy with this and help me be happy about this, you are and you will be their Mom, and maybe we can help each other "

"Don't get me wrong Em, I love the team they are our family, but it should be us baby shopping, it should be me feeling them no one else" JJ ran her finger over Emily's ring "That is my heart baby and right now it is scared and hurting, please don't blame yourself, because I should have told you this sooner" Emily shook her head

"How can you tell me, if I am so closed off sweetie, my actions have affected you, I want them sweetie, and I know I have been ignoring you, because what you said is true, you need me as much as I need you, and I also need you to need me"

"Em I want to be Sarah's Ma not just a name as well, I want the closeness you have with her with me and our children, but I want us to go through this together, and for you not to feel alone, and I know you do because you are not use to having someone at your side" JJ looked at her for a moment

"Tell me what's going on in that beautiful mind of yours, I have told you my fears, tell me yours baby please" Emily gave a half smile as she looked at her, "What if I don't bond with them, or they hate me, or you can't bond with them because of Rob?"

JJ stood up and walked over to Emily wrapping her arms around her tightly "Emily, I don't care about Rob, I care about you, I don't see him in them and I won't, I see you and I see me in our children, not anyone else, I see my beautiful wife pulling away from me and that hurts"

Emily return the embrace and held her just as close "What if I am not a good Mom, look what happened to Sarah" JJ kissed her brow "Baby that wasn't your fault, and you did everything you could to protect her, she loves you"

"I look Jen sometimes and I see the scars and I want to run, I can't be comfortable like you are with yours" she tucked her head under her chin "I am not comfortable with mine either, but I have learnt to live with them, if I could get rid of them I would in a heartbeat" she admitted

"I want to be that excited mom with you shouting at me for buying things we don't need, I want to be able to spoil you, I want to know when they move, but I am so scared you don't want me to do that baby, I have always wanted to be a mother and you are giving that to me for us no one else but for us" "I think we got a little lost sweetie"

JJ chuckled "No we have gotten a lot lost, not a little, we forgot to communicate with each other, you remember when you wanted to adopt that girl" Emily nodded "That broke my heart because, okay I didn't know about Sarah then, but I saw how much love you have to give and how great a mom you will be and you can be it with our children, it's okay to be scared but it is also okay to be hyper and happy about it" she took a breath

"I know we won't forget what happened to you, but they don't need to know, they just need to know they are loved and wanted just like you are, baby open your heart back up to me and stop thinking you're going to get hurt" JJ felt the silent tears landing on her chest.

"We can do this baby, but I need you to pull your walls back down for me" "You are there mom" Emily whispered "I just didn't tell you enough" she said in a sigh. "You sat there in your own world Em just rubbing your stomach, you have a bond but it is not a strong bond like it should be, let me help you get that bond and you help me have that bond as well"

Emily moves slightly to look at JJ, her eyes are wide as things fall into place for her "We are really doing this aren't we!" she said as JJ laughed "Yes we are, took you awhile to get there" JJ winked "Can I please have my wife back now, I really miss her" Emily pulled her into a soft kiss "Forgive me for being such an ass" JJ shook her head "Your just scared like me baby, and it is okay to be scared, so you're not too much of an ass maybe a little stubborn but not an ass"

"I didn't write that to hurt you baby, but to help you see what is going on" JJ said softly "I want you to let me be the over protective mom and spoil you rotten and not have this stupid fear that you don't want that" "Thank you for opening my eyes, I do see you Jen, I just got lost inside but if you can guide me I can get there and we will be ready for them I promise you" she paused slightly "come with me" Emily said as she took JJ's hand

"Where we going" "I want to show you something" Emily smiled softly as they walked up stairs into the bedroom, wrapping her arms around her waist from behind pulling her close so that JJ is flush against her stomach, they look at each other through the mirror their eyes locked to each other.

"Ouch!" JJ said with a slightly jump but her eyes went slightly wide "I think they know who you are Jen" "That's what it feels like? " Emily turned her around so her stomach was flush with hers as another kick came "Wow!" she gasped "they are ours baby ours" JJ said as a tear roll down her cheek.

Emily took her hand placing it over her bump "You my sweet loving wife can touch and feel all you want and if you really want to play music to them, please make sure, that it's not that awful rap music that you seem to like" JJ laughed "I think I can do that"

"Tomorrow we can start a fresh if you want Jen, because I want us to be happy and maybe if you want" Emily paused knowing this could kill her energy levels completely "We can go shopping and spend proper time together, without the guys, without the family, just us, like it should be, I am so sorry, but also if you are able to see past the sperm donor, I know I can, I need you to have your strong wife back and not hide this from you because of my fears and sometimes shame"

"You remember Elle? The only reason I went so mad is because she called you, if anyone calls you or our children I cannot be accountable for my actions because I love you so much and no one has a right to come between that"

"That my love I can fully understand because I am the same when it comes to you, I love you so much Jennifer Prentiss" "I love you too Emily Prentiss" JJ pulled her into a soft kiss as they held each other as close as they could; together they could ride this storm together and become stronger for it, for them and their children.


	78. Chapter 78

**Chapter 78**

Emily woke early the next morning, with JJ still in her arms, her head resting on her chest, she hated to wake her but she knew the second she moved, JJ would wake up, so instead she pulled her closer to her body and whispered in her ear.

"Jennifer, can you wake up for me please baby" she whisper as she moved slightly, JJ moan slightly in her sleep "Jen, I need you to wake up for me sweetheart" she tried again "Too comfy" JJ groaned out, still in the haze of sleep "I know sweetie but your children are making me want to pee" Emily tried again.

JJ let out a slightly laugh as she moved so Emily could get out of the bed "Thank you sweetie" she smiled as she headed into the bathroom.

"Em, what are we doing today?" JJ asked as she started to get up "Well I was thinking" Emily started as she came out the bathroom "maybe we could go shopping?" Emily said softly "Or if there is something you want to do?" Emily asked "I meant what I said Jen, I have let you down so mu... SON OF A BITCH" Emily cursed "Em what's wrong?" JJ said as she walk over to Emily as she was gripping the door in a death grip "Rib shot" Emily said as she breathed through the pain.

JJ walked behind Emily as she started to rub her lower back "Any better?" she asked as Emily leaned into the touch, Emily nodded "yeah" "So what was you asking" JJ said as she wrapped her arms around her resting her hands over their children "I've let you down so much Jen, and I want, I need to make it right, I love you so much Jennifer" JJ kissed her neck softly "I know you do baby and I love you too" she paused slightly.

"Well maybe we could go look in the nurseries and see what we might need? Or we just go and get stuff without looking" she chuckled as she moved in front of her, looking her in the eyes "I have really missed you Emily" Emily smiled sadly as she looked back at her "I have just got so lost Jen, I promise I won't push you away anymore" Emily said softly.

JJ smiled softly as she cupped one side of Emily's cheek, running her thumb over it gently "I know you are baby, and it's okay I promise, just have to find a way of getting you back completely" Emily leaned into her touch "And you didn't go too far" JJ smirked as she placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"So shopping it is" Emily smiled as they finished getting dressed "But first breakfast" JJ smirked as they headed downstairs, Emily followed behind her as they made their way into the kitchen "What you want to eat Em?" JJ asked as she opened the fridge door "Waffles" Emily said as she switched the coffee machine on. "You want waffles?" JJ looked at Emily for a moment before shaking her head slightly "Yes, with honey" Emily grinned

With breakfast finished they both got their jackets on making their way out to the car "You want to drive Jen?" Emily asked as she locked the front door "If you hand me the keys I will" JJ smiled. Emily passed JJ the keys as she made her way around to the passenger side of the car, she looked at her wife for a moment before getting in **'I can do this'** she thought to herself as she got in the car

JJ drove the car towards the shopping mall "Em, is everything okay, you seem quite" JJ said as she glanced at her "As well as it can be" Emily said as she rested her hand on JJ's leg "I'm trying Jen" JJ smiled softly "I know you are baby" she replied as she rested her hand on top of Emily's giving it a reassuring squeeze.

After JJ had parked the car up she walked over to Emily's side opening the door for her and helping her get out, she took hold of her hand "if this is too much for you we can just go home" JJ said as she looked into her wife's eyes, Emily smiled slightly "I want us to do this Jen" she said softly.

They walked into the store JJ had made it clear she wanted to get everything for the nurseries first, making sure she had two of everything one for a boy and one for a girl she took the first load to the car as Emily handed over her card.

Frist trip to the car consisted of **'Special going-home outfit's, Basic Clothing, Winter Coats, baby Swimsuits, warm winter hats, Gentle or scent-free detergent for baby's laundry, Crib bedding, Waterproof mattress pad, Diaper changing table, bins storage, 2x rocking chair, Diaper pail, Baby monitors, Laundry baskets, Toy bins.'**

JJ came back from loading the things into the car "Can we get things for the bathroom now" she grinned as Emily laughed "Can you at least make sure there will be room for me to get into the car when you are done?" Emily joked "Of course" JJ smirked "I can always make two trips home" she teased.

JJ made her way back to the car loading the second lot in this consisted of **'Baby bathtub, Baby shampoo and body wash, Baby lotion, Hooded baby towels, Baby washcloths, Baby nail clippers, Nasal aspirator, Digital rectal thermometer, Infant acetaminophen drops'**

By the time JJ got back from the car Emily was already looking at the feeding section she was unsure if she wanted to breast feed or just use bottles, JJ walked up behind her wrapping her arms around her waist "What you thinking baby" Emily leaned into her "To breast feed or not" she replied "You could always do both?" JJ offered "And at least if you did both I could help more" JJ said as Emily turned in her arms "Then both it is" Emily smiled

'**Breastfeeding support pillow, Breast pump, Nursing bra, Breast pads, Lanolin cream, Breast milk freezer storage containers, Bottles and nipples, Dishwasher basket for bottles, Bottle brush, Bottle drying rack, Bottle and pacifier sterilizer, Baby formula'**

Emily walked over to the maternity clothing looking through them she knew she needed some new clothes as all hers were now becoming tight and uncomfortable to wear, as JJ left with the third trip to the car, Emily had become more relaxed and even she would admit it that she was now enjoying herself though she was becoming tired and getting slightly hungry, JJ watched Emily carefully as she walked back into the store.

"What you thinking sweetie" JJ said carefully as she stood next to Emily "Need some new clothes and that my feet are hurting and I am getting hungry" Emily said with a slight laugh "Well if we go get something to eat you get to sit and take some weight off your feet" JJ said softly, Emily nodded taking hold of the blondes hand in hers "Thank you" JJ stopped and looked at her with a slight frown on her face "For?" "For this and everything" Emily didn't know how to explain what she was thinking the only thing she could think to do was to say thank you.

JJ smiled as they walked out the shop "So what do you fancy to eat?" "You" Emily smirked as JJ playfully slapped her arm "Behave Em" Emily laughed "Worth a try" she smiled as they walked across the mall "Maybe a salad or a burger" Emily said "How about both?" JJ said knowing that the burgers came with salad. "Yeah sounds good and a coffee" JJ nodded as they walked to the café.

After they had eaten and Emily's feet were a little more recovered they headed back over to the baby store, "So before you fill the car with more things can we get me some new clothes?" Emily asked as JJ just laughed "Yes, then we can get the diapers and other things we will need" JJ smirked "Jen, just how much room is in the car?" Emily asked "Well the boot if nearly full so we have a little room in the boot and also half the backseat" JJ grinned "So glad we are in the SUV" Emily muttered

They made their way over to the maternity clothing, JJ couldn't help but shake her head "What?" Emily asked "You have all these to choose from and you still pick out the black trousers" JJ said still shaking her head slightly "You can pick the tops if that makes you feel any better" Emily said with a slight smirk on her face, JJ grinned as she pulled out 4 blouses, red, white, blue and one black and white "You like?" she asked as she held them up Emily grinned "Is there another red one?" Emily asked JJ rolled her eyes in good nature as she pulled out another two red blouses "This all you want?" "For now" Emily smiled as she placed them into the trolley

JJ also placed **'Disposable diapers, Baby wipes, diaper Rash Cream, Baby swing, Pacifiers, Infant bouncers, Swaddling blanket, Play mat and play gym, Small plush toys and rattles, Infant gas relief drops.' **into the trolley "Em, I think we should get this stuff home" JJ said as she looked at Emily, "Sounds like a good plan Jen" Emily replied; to say that was of relief to Emily was an understatement if she was honest all she wanted to do right now was go home and sleep.

An hour later Emily was laying on the sofa as JJ unloaded the car taking the baby things upstairs and placing them into the correct bedrooms, she smiled to herself as she left them in the bags making her way back downstairs she grabbed the baby lotion as she walked over to Em "Hey sweetie want to rest your legs on me so I can rub your feet" JJ said softly as she sat at the other end of the sofa.

"Hmm that sounds like heaven Jen" Emily said her voice soft and tired JJ smiled as she removed her shoes and socks placing both feet onto her lap, within 20 minutes of JJ starting the foot rub Emily had begun to snore softly, though JJ didn't stop until all the muscles in her feet were relaxed and soft, she flipped the TV on turning the volume down as she started watching the Simpsons.


	79. Chapter 79

**Chapter 79**

Emily and JJ had made progress somewhat Emily was more interested in the twins and JJ was spoiling Emily rotten, they had come back from a spa day which had left Emily and JJ both relaxed, they had gone to bed early that night.

Emily awoke from her sleep pulling herself out of the nightmare that had engulfed her mind she cringed she hadn't had them for a while but as her due date neared they had seemed to be reappearing. Slowly she got out of bed and made her way downstairs, pulling out her faithful note pad, walking into the dining room turning the fire and the lamp on as she sat down.

**Jen, I know we said I am not ready and maybe you are right, but for some reason the nightmares are back, the closer we are to them being born the worse they are getting.**

**I said to you once, I would tell you everything that happened and I feel I am now ready and maybe they will stop, I want to do this before they grace us with their presents, as I am not sure what I will be like when they arrive. I have loved this past week, just me and you spending the time together that we desperately needed, but in that I also know I have to tell you everything.**

**The one thing I don't want to do is hurt you but I know by telling you this it will and for that I am sorry, I know you all saw the tapes he made and what he did, but I also need to tell you baby because I feel I need to voice it, in a sense. Though I am writing it down!**

**I was so confused after that case and I needed some time alone, which now I wish I hadn't, but in some sense I am glad about what happened. I know that sounds so messed up and it is messed up baby! I keep thinking that maybe if I hadn't have flirted back with him none of this would have happened, but the profiler inside me knows he had already picked me as his target.**

**Jennifer I can't call myself a victim but I know I am! I am guessing he drugged me because I know I didn't have that much to drink, well what I can remember I didn't, when I woke up I was so confused, and when I knew I couldn't move I panicked Jen, I was so scared and when I saw Rob appear I thought I was safe!**

**What does that say about me Jen does that make me unable to do or be good at my job?**

**When he first came into the room I was confused. He told me he wanted to talk, he told me I was home Jen, how could I ever be home unless you was there baby! He hand fed me keeping me tied, after he fed me, he made me listen to a tape.**

**God Jen them women I heard them screaming baby I heard everything, sometimes when the nightmares come they are not always about me but the people before me, I can hear them screaming them crying, god babe I never want to see or hear that again!**

**He had been watching us me you Garcia, he told me I looked at you wrong! I was so confused he asked me about the blonde one and I just kept thinking you're both blonde. But I don't look at you wrongly do I? Or did I before we got together Jen, before we knew how each other felt!? He hit me so hard when I said that I didn't look at any of you in the wrong way.**

Emily wiped the tears from her eyes before carrying on, she knew this was going to be hard but she also knew she had to do this.

**He ripped my shirt off, god I felt so exposed and ashamed and he hadn't touched me in that way then but yet I felt violated, he told me I needed a bath 'best to work with a clean body' he said, I felt so sick when he said that darling, he removed the rest of my clothes, I guess looking at it that part wasn't so bad, but when he put the collar around me Jen I felt so trapped, I felt I was his property, for some reason.**

**I guess when it was a padlock I knew that it would be okay, but when he welded it together I was so scared that it would never come off, that you'd find me I guess years later and the only thing that would give and clue to who I was would be a collar that had my name on it!**

**The water was freezing, how on earth can anyone bathe in ice water? I always wonder if he really did you a scouring pad because that was what it felt like, or like sandpaper.**

**Once he had finished he made me crawl back towards the room I slept in, but before I made it in there, he raped me, it hurt so bad it was like someone ripping my insides out, I never liked penetration at the best of times but that god I felt so sick.**

**I could hardly move the chains where short, but I did try to free myself but aside from being tired and in pain I couldn't get free, I had no control, not of me not of my body even couldn't control my thoughts sometimes, I near enough begged him to let me go telling him that we could forget this had ever happened, I was hoping he would see his error and let me go, but that was a short lived dream.**

**He pricked me with something, and I don't know what it was aside from it made me feel sick I could taste the bile in my throat, the first time he put that gag in my mouth, is the second time in my life I have felt sheer fear for myself, he dragged me along the floor, I did try to fight again but the panic inside made me limp, I was struggling to breathe. I remember wishing I would pass out that way I wouldn't feel anything that he was going to do to me, but the darkness didn't come.**

**His hand were everywhere as though I was his and I had no say in what he was doing, I was so ashamed, I was his and he made sure I knew that, he told me I was his and no one else's. Funny when he said it I would always think to myself, he might have my body, but my heart and soul he can never touch. Because you Jen have had them for as long as I can remember and I knew no matter what happened that my heart would be safe and my soul could be put back together.**

**When he hung me up my toes only just touching the floor I remember thinking I was going to die there and then, the collar dug into my windpipe, I thought I was going to hang and that was how I would be found.**

**I knew every time he was going to open the door I could hear his feet on the steps, but through the pain, fear and panic I couldn't always make it out. When he let me down, I couldn't even tell you how long I was like that for. I guess you know though Jen? He throw me onto the bed my gums dug into the gag, he thrust himself into my mouth, god I wanted to be sick after he removed it I curled up and I remember saying sorry to you Jen, I don't know why I said it but I knew I needed to, maybe it was the thought of not being strong enough to fight him or the thought of you finding me like this I don't know.**

**I was yanked out of what little sleep I had, had as he led me out of the room, every time he moved me from one room to the next room, he would rape me, I guess that was because of the cameras? That was the first time he whipped me, he would tell me over and over that I was his and he was my owner and that he was going to teach me.**

**When he strapped my legs apart I thought I was going to split in two, he placed another gag into my mouth that was longer but when that whip hit my skin I was able to bite into it, but it didn't allow me to breathe properly, it made the collar dig into my neck more.**

**I had no clue how long I was there, but I hoped you would notice I wasn't in I prayed for you to save me Jen , I knew you'd come you always do. When you came though Jen I was so scared I thought he had friends I thought others were going to, I was so scared baby, I remember hearing your voice I thought he had caught you and taken you I wanted you to run and leave me. For the second time in my life I wanted to die.**

**If I was dead the pain would go and I wouldn't be dirty or ashamed of myself and more than anything if I was dead he wouldn't have gone looking for you! Does that make any sense?**

**What worries me is I might look at our children and see him! What happens if they turn out like him? I know you love them and me but what if I can't, what if they are born and I cannot bring myself to hold them or I don't bond with them.**

**I look at the scars Jen and they bring it all back they make everything we are trying to get past back to the front, I was speaking to mom and she said plastics might be able to do something about them, the ones on my neck bother me more because people can see them every day, but you also have to look at my body and I worry that sometimes you look at me and you see me back in that basement!**

**When you are around I am whole, but when you aren't I am alone no matter who is around me and I am in fear, what happens when you go back to work and get called on a case, I may sound selfish but I just can't cope not being around you keep the monsters at bay, you help keep my mind clear.**

**But I know you love your job we both do, but what happens when they arrive sweetie how can we both work? Or do we look into hiring a live in nanny? I am sorry that I am telling you this now and I hope you understand why Jen, I need to deal with this before our little ones get here, and you say you miss me, I miss me as well….. I love you Jennifer Prentiss and I always will you are my life my heart and soul, with you I am complete, but we both need to heal before these little ones arrive?**

JJ turned in her sleep in snuggle into Emily more, but for the first time in months the sheets were cold as she felt around for her wife, she slowly woke up more looking around for any sign of her before looking at the clock, JJ groaned as she looked at the time **'2.30am' **she groaned to herself as she got out of the bed walking over to the bathroom, hoping to find Emily there, she sighed softly as there was no sign of her slowly she made her way downstairs, hoping to locate her.

JJ could see the dull light coming from the dining room as she made her way to the door, her heart fell as she heard the soft sobs coming from Emily she slowly opened the door as she whispered her name "Emily" JJ looked at her seeing the pad on the table Emily's blood shocked eyes as she walked over "What's going on sweetie" JJ asked as she wrapped her arms around Emily pulling her close.

"I...I need you to read something" Emily said her voice horse and unsure as she handed JJ the pad though she kept herself curled into herbody the best she could, JJ kept hold of her as she took hold of the pad "Okay sweetie, but would you like to go sit on the sofa, you will be more comfortable in there and I can keep hold of you?" Emily nodded against her as she started to get up.

JJ sat down before pulling Emily into her lap so she could keep hold of her as she began to read over what Emily had written, it broke her heart but she also understood why Emily needed to do this. No one had spoken about it, no one knew how to. The last time anyone had pushed Emily to speak about it, she had come home locked herself in the bedroom, hardly eaten and then started to have nightmares again. But this no one had asked her to do this. This was something Emily needed to do.

JJ couldn't stop the tears from falling or the sobs that ripped from her chest as she finished reading, she placed a kiss on Emily's head "I love you so much Em" JJ whispered as she felt Emily shake against her. "You will bond with our children, and you will love them because they are a part of you, they will grow to be like us because we will teach them right and wrong, we won't ignore their feelings or side-line them, We will not punish them for the mistakes he made."

Emily nodded slightly "Just what's been going around in my mind for the past few days well maybe weeks" Emily admitted, JJ smiled softly "Em, if you want after they are born and if you want to breast feed or not then we can see someone about your scars" JJ paused slightly "Jen do you want to ask about yours?" Emily said remembering something that JJ had said a few months ago, JJ laughed slightly "I would like that Em, but also you know they don't bother me but if you are still uncomfortable with them, then we can look into it, as for my scars, I may say they don't get to me, but like yours they remind me every time I see them" JJ pulled Emily closer into her "You think you can try and get some more sleep now darling" JJ said softly


	80. Chapter 80

**Chapter 80**

JJ and Emily had spoken a lot over the past few days after Emily had written the letter, Emily seemed happier as though a weight had been lifted from her, she had begun to joke around more with Morgan and they both were teasing Reid more.

"So when you going to go on maternity leave?" Morgan asked as he passed her the can of ginger ale "Not sure I was just thinking of carrying on till you know" she paused as she felt the hand hit the back of her head "Or when my wife makes me" she half laughed as she rubbed the back of her head before looking at JJ "The paper work has already been put in for you to take leave as of next week" JJ said firmly causing Emily to frown "But" JJ cut her off "I don't want you in the field your due in five weeks you can't even fly Em, and with what was said at the last appointment there is no way in hell I will allow you to work" Emily nodded "Thank you" she said as JJ kept her hand on Emily's shoulder.

"What happened at the appointment?" Morgan asked as him and Reid walked over to her "Just if I don't slow down these little ones will be here early and that's the last thing we want" Emily said as she looked at JJ.

"The birth of a baby, less than 37 week's gestational age. Though the cause of preterm birth is in many situations elusive and unknown; many factors appear to be associated with the development of preterm birth, making the reduction of preterm birth a challenging proposition. Premature birth is defined either as the same as preterm birth or the birth of a baby before the developing organs are mature enough to allow normal postnatal survival. Premature infants are at greater risk for short and long term complications, including disabilities and impediments in growth and mental development. Significant progress has been made in the care of premature infants, but not in reducing the prevalence of preterm birth. Preterm birth is among the top causes of death in infants worldwide"

"REID" JJ shouted as he continued to ramble about premature birth, Emily stood slightly as she walked out of the doors leaving JJ and Morgan glaring at him "You need to learn when to keep quite kid" Morgan growled "JJ I'm" JJ raised her hand slightly "I know Reid its fine just keep the facts away from her please, we already had a scare the other day" JJ admitted before making her way out the bullpen to find Emily.

JJ walked into the toilets knowing that Emily would be there, she could hear the wrenching coming out of the stall as she walked in locking the door behind her "Em" JJ said softly as she opened the door finding Emily on the fall her head lulling against the bowl, JJ pulled her hair back "You okay sweetie" JJ said softly "Breakfast didn't stay down" Emily said as she leaned into her wife. "Jen I don't care if they come early I care if they are alright, does that make sense, but this" "How's your blood pressure?" JJ asked "I guess a little high" she admitted as JJ flushed the toilet helping Emily to her feet.

"Em, I am the same they could be here tomorrow and that would be great as long as they are okay that is all that matters but we both know they need to stay protected inside you for a little longer, you will be fine our babies will be fine, and if Reid doesn't keep his mouth closed I will buy him a zip for it" JJ teased causing Emily to laugh slightly.

They both made their way back into the bullpen as Reid looked at Emily sheepishly "Sorry Emily" he said softly "you wouldn't be you if you didn't Reid" Emily smiled softly as she sat back down. "So princess getting back on to topic who is going to be helping once these two grace this world" he smiled as Emily laughed, she looked at JJ "Well Mother thinks she may be able to get someone I know she helped when Sarah was growing up and she is very good with kids" "So what's the problem?" Morgan asked "Locating her" JJ chuckled "seems Italy is truly a big country"

" The independent states of San Marino and the Vatican City are enclaves within Italy, while Campione d'Italia is an Italian exclave in Switzerland. The territory of Italy covers some 116,347 sq mi, and is influenced by a temperate seasonal climate. With 60.8 million inhabitants, it is the fifth most populous country in Europe, and the 23rd most populous in the world." Reid said proudly.

"Is there anything you don't know kid?" Morgan asked as they all laughed "Well with over 60million people it will be hard to find just one person it would be a bit like finding a needle in a pile of needles" He said with a smile "Reid are you sure you're not a robot and that you haven't just been programed with all this information" Emily joked as he laughed.

"Though it is highly possible, a robot still wouldn't be able to breathe and would have no need to be able to blink" Emily laughed "Good comeback Dr Reid" she smirked "Maybe you could ask Garcia to run a check for you?" Morgan said as he picked up his phone.

"Can we let Elizabeth have a little longer if she hasn't got back to us by tomorrow then we can consider it" JJ said as she started to head back up to her office "Do you think you three can now get some work done? I need those reports by the lunchtime" JJ said as she closed her door.

"So is everything getting better between you two?" Morgan asked once JJ's door was closed "Much better, I am starting to feel like my old self" she smiled "We have noticed Em, I am glad you two are doing okay I was worried there for a while" he said honestly "We have talked a lot and I finally opened up about what happened and if I am truthful it has made things a lot easier since then" he smiled "Nightmares?" he asked "A few, though they are getting a lot less so we are both getting a lot more rest" she smiled at him.

"I think the fear I have had inside of me is also slowly disappearing" she smiled, as Reid spoke up "Fear is a vital response to physical and emotional danger—if we didn't feel it, we couldn't protect ourselves from legitimate threats. But often we fear situations that are far from life-or-death, and thus hang back for no good reason. Traumas or bad experiences can trigger a fear response within us that is hard to quell. But you also have to remember Emily you survived it and the fear is your bodies way of dealing with what you have been through" he said softly as Emily sighed

"I know you mean well Reid but trust me when I say there is a lot more to it than what you have seen" her voice wavered as she spoke quietly "Reid fancy making Prentiss one of them herbal teas?" Morgan asked as he walked over to her "You okay princess" "Yes I'm fine I know he means well just" she shook her head slightly as Reid returned with the much welcomed tea "Thanks Reid" Emily said softly as they all set back to their paperwork

Emily had been staring at the file for the past half an hour rubbing her stomach as the pain emanated though her back again "Prentiss? You okay there?" Morgan asked as he watched her carefully "Yeah just my back is sore" she said with a sigh "Why don't you go and see if JJ will allow you to lay on her sofa for a bit, unless she is using it" he joked as Emily was already sending JJ a text **'Jen any chance I can come in your office an lay down my back is killing me x'** "Already asking Derek" she said with a slight smile just as JJ came out of her office and a beeline for Emily's desk.

JJ took one look at her and shook her head "Emily how long you had this pain for now?" Emily frowned slightly "about half an hour" JJ nodded as she helped her up. As Emily stood up the wave of dizziness washed over her as she stumbled slightly causing Morgan to rush to her side "Whoa Prentiss, you okay" he said as he and JJ steadied her "Just need to lay down" she mumbled as her body began to slump in their arms.


	81. Chapter 81

**Chapter 81**

Morgan helped JJ get Emily back onto the chair, before deciding it may be better for her to be on the floor, Reid had jumped at the phone hitting 911 and asking them to hurry, JJ was shaking as she tried to get Emily to respond "Em, wake up baby please"

Morgan looked at his partner and then at JJ who had gone pale "JJ she will be okay" he said softly as Hotch's voice sounded through the now very quiet bullpen. "What's going on and where is Prentiss?" he asked as he looked at his three agents.

JJ shook her head not answering as she knelt back down next to Emily whispering in her ear "baby wake up please" as she tried to keep the tears at bay, "Well?" he asked again as Rossi stepped out.

"Prentiss collapsed" Reid piped up since the other two hadn't spoken "WHAT!" Rossi half shouted as the two older agents rushed down into the bullpen.

"What on earth happened" Rossi asked Morgan "She had back pain I told her to go lay down in JJ's office and well" He looked at his partner on the floor "She didn't make it up there"

"Have you called for an ambulance?" Hotch asked as he pulled his phone out "They are on their way, I am going to meet them downstairs" Reid said as he headed towards the doors.

JJ stayed at her side holding her hand as she looked up at the team "I can't lose her" she said as tears started to fall from her eyes. "JJ help is on the way just keep talking to her" Rossi said as calmly as he could as he moved to make a phone call

"Garcia I need you ring Sarah and get her to meet us at the hospital, Emily has collapsed, I need to ring her Mother" before he hung up Garcia's voice caught his attention "What's... what happened?" she said her voice wavering slightly as she looked at the security feed "I don't know just please ring Sarah" he said as he disconnected the phone call.

"HOTCH!" JJ screamed as Emily started to convulse on the floor "Where are the damn medics" Hotch muttered as he knelt down beside them both "JJ try and stay calm" he said as he placed his jacket under her head stopping it from banging on the floor.

JJ watched numbly as three men burst through the doors "Oh thank god" JJ muttered as they reached them "Ma'am can we have some room please" they asked as she moved back allowing the medics room. "Can anyone tell me what happened?" he asked as he administered a drug to help stop the seizure.

"She just got up and collapsed, she said her back was hurting" JJ said as the tears ran down her face, the medic nodded as they lifted her onto the gurney "I'm coming with you" she said firmly "Ma'am with all due respect" "I am her wife" she glared at them both as he nodded "We need to go" he said as they rushed out the doors, JJ staying close to Emily.

As she sat in the back of the ambulance the medic began to ask JJ some questions about her health and how far along Emily is "She has five weeks left she is booked in for a C-section as she is unable to have a natural birth" JJ said sadly as she looked at her wife

"She has had some problems with her blood pressure and has been told to take it easy, we had a scare last week the doctor was worried they may have to be delivered early" JJ said as she held onto Emily's hand. The medic nodded as they pulled up outside the ER.

They wheeled Emily straight through to the ER. "Ma'am you will have to wait here I am afraid" the nurse said as she looked into sad eyes. "Is there anyone we can call?" "They are all on their way" JJ said as the tears fell. "Can you let me know when the father arrives please?" the nurse asked

JJ's eyes blazed at her "She is my wife, there is no father, those are my children" her voice was low and firm as she spoke "I'm sorry didn't mean to offend you Ma'am" "Please call me JJ" she said as she looked at her "I have rung her doctor, if Emily wakes and is surrounded by strangers she will panic" JJ warned "I understand" JJ nodded as she collapsed into the chair.

Sarah bust into the waiting room "Ma, what's happened?" she asked the worry evident in her voice "I don't know she collapsed" JJ said as she rested her face in her hands as the sobs ripped from her chest. Sarah sat next to wrapping her arms around her tightly "She will be okay Ma" she said trying to reassure her.

The team arrive shortly afterwards "Any news?" Morgan asked as he walked in "Nothing yet" Sarah said as JJ shook her head.

They seemed to be waiting hours as a familiar Doctor walked into the room looking straight at JJ "Jennifer" JJ's eyes met her "Dr Young. What's wrong with her?" the doctor smiled sadly as she spoke "Can I have a word in private please" she asked as she held the door open for her to step outside.

"We are going to have to deliver the babies" Doctor Young informed her. "What's happened?" JJ asked as they stood outside the waiting room "She has developed preeclampsia, can we have your permission to deliver" she asked seriously

"What will happen" "I will be honest if we don't deliver them now they could die and so could Emily" she looked at her "please save her" JJ pleaded as she signed the forms "I won't be able to correct the" she paused as JJ nodded, right now her main concern was Emily and their children everything else could wait.

"Jennifer I am afraid you won't be able to be in the room they are getting her ready now, but I need you to be prepared" JJ nodded numbly as the doctor spoke to her "Will the babies be okay?" Dr. Young looked at her for a moment "I will get a nurse to come in and explain everything to you but I will do my best" she said softly as she opened the door to the waiting room.

JJ walked back into the waiting room falling straight into Sarah's arms "Ma, what's going on?" Sarah asked as her voice broke. JJ collected herself as she looked at Sarah and the team.

JJ took Sarah over to the chairs as they both sat down before JJ looked at them all "Emily has developed preeclampsia, they are going to deliver the babies" JJ said as a sob ripped from her throat "What else Ma?" Sarah asked as she tried to keep the tears a bay. "She said we needed to be prepared" JJ said as her heart broke, the sobs ripping from her chest.

Sarah hung onto JJ not wanting to let go as they all waited for news. They had been waiting for over 20 minutes before a young nurse walked into the waiting room "Ms Prentiss?" she said softly though her eyes looked sad. JJ looked at her as she gripped Sarah's hand "Is she okay?"

"Doctor Young will talk to you when she has finished, she has asked if you would like to come and meet your children" JJ frowned slightly as Sarah spoke "Is my Mom okay?" the nurse looked at the two women "She is still in surgery, that's all I am able to tell you" she replied though her eyes conveyed sadness.

"Where are they?" JJ asked keeping hold of Sarah's hand. "If you would like to come with me I can take you to them, they are in the NICU, but they are doing well" she gave a reassuring smile as both JJ and Sarah followed her.

JJ walked over looking at their children "Do they have names yet" the nurse asked as she started to write the name tags "Morgan and Jane Prentiss" she said softly "Are they okay?" "We are running some tests" the nurse said softly "But they seem healthy, the anesthesia has made them sleepy but it will wear off soon" she smiled as JJ and Sarah looked at them "Can we hold them?" JJ asked as she looked at the nurse "Of course, once Mrs Prentiss is out of surgery they will be moved into a private room so you all can be together Dr. Young has arranged it for you"

The nurse handed Morgan to her as JJ cradled him speaking softly "You gave us quite a scare your perfect" she said before handing him to Sarah, she looked at her little brother "Hey little man I'm your big sister" she said as she kissed his head before handing him back to the nurse so she could place him in the incubator. The nurse then handed her Jane "you are just perfect as well your mamma and mommy love you both so much" she said as the tears fell again.

Sarah wrapped her arm around JJ "Can you please tell us what is going on with my mom" Sarah asked hoping the nurse would know "There were some complications, I am afraid that is all I know" she said honestly as she placed Jane back into the incubator.

They watched over them as a soft knock disturbed them from their thoughts, another nurse walked into the room speaking quietly to them both "Can you come with me please, Dr. Young is waiting for you in the waiting room" she smiled at them "Is Emily okay?" JJ asked as they followed the nurse back to the room "Yes, but the doctor needs to explain a few things to you"

JJ walked back into the waiting room, which was now full the team was there her parents and Elizabeth, Sarah kept hold of JJ hands as she walked in behind her. "Dr. Young, is Emily okay? And what the hell is going on" JJ couldn't help her emotions she was scared and all she wanted to do was be with her wife and children.

"Can we talk in my office Jennifer please" she asked softly "Okay" she said slightly reluctantly "Will you be okay Sarah?" Sarah nodded as Elizabeth walked over to them both wrapping her arms around them before JJ left with the doctor.

"Can you please tell me she is okay?" JJ asked as soon as the door was closed "She is going to be fine, but there where complication during the C-section" JJ looked at her "What kind of complications?" Dr. Young took hold of her hand as she began to explain "Emily suffered a postpartum haemorrhage"

JJ looked at her slightly confused "okay, how bad is she going to be okay" JJ asked again the doctor looked at her sadly "We have explained it to Emily but when we tried to stem the bleeding she lost a server about of blood, we had no choice, in order to save her we had to perform hysterectomy" JJ looked at her in shock "I need to see her" JJ said as tears fell "Please" the doctor smiled softly "you two are so alike, but please just allow me to finish" JJ nodded "We performed what is known as A sub-total hysterectomy meaning the removal of the body of the uterus, leaving the cervix behind." JJ let the information soak in before she asked "So she won't be able to have any more children? Is there going to be any problems due to this?" JJ asked her voice was calmer than she felt as she waited for the doctor to explain.

"There will be a lot of discomfort originating from the uterus contracting against that incision used to get the babies out. But with a hysterectomy, there's no uterus contracting. This large organ, normally somewhat flopping around to twang all those sore spots in the abdomen, is missing. And so is a lot of the pain. We can manage her pain but right now the only thing any of us can do is be there for her and help her heal, she did take it very well when I told her but she needs you Jennifer" the doctor smiled "I can only allow two in the room for now but your team and family are welcome to stay as long as they like, but it may be best if it you on your own before everyone else comes in"

JJ nodded "Can you please take me to her" JJ said as tears rolled down her cheek. "Of course" She smiled as she stood holding the door open leading JJ to her room. "I will leave you alone for a while would you like me to send everyone up" JJ looked at her for a moment "Can you wait for a while I need to make sure she is okay, for myself" JJ said as she started to walk in the room looking at her wife.

"Jen" Emily mutter as she saw her "Hey baby" JJ smiled softly as she walked over to her wrapping her arms around her, taking in the warmth and safety that she was alive "I have been so worried" JJ said as she ran her hand over her cheek before leaning down to give her a soft kiss "Emily smiled as she leaned into the touch and the kiss "Jen, has the" JJ placed her finger on Emily's lip "Dr. Young has explained everything sweetheart" she said softly as she looked into her Emily, which were filled with unshed tears.

"Jen, where are they" she whisper as she leaned into her wife "I need to see them please" Emily almost begged as JJ chuckled "They will bring them through shortly I promise, Emily they are just beautiful" JJ smiled as she kissed Emily on her forehead "I am so proud of you" she whispered

"Em, are you, I mean with everything the doctor has explained to you about what happened" Emily smiled softly "Jennifer right now yes I am it was a shock but I understand and I can live with it I promise and I know if I need to talk or need help I have you the shrink and Sarah, but I ask one thing" JJ smiled as she knew what was coming "No one will ever find out darling I promise, you are so strong Emily"


	82. Chapter 82

**Chapter 82**

The team waited for news, Sarah was sat with Elizabeth, Anthony with Sandy, Morgan kept hold of Garcia, and the other two were watching over them, Reid sat in the corner his foot tapping on the floor.

"I can't lose her Gran, I can't" Sarah mumbled as Elizabeth rubbed her back "you know how stubborn your mom is, she will be fine, how are my grandchildren" she asked trying to take her mind of it "Perfect, why didn't she say anything when Ma asked!" Sandy and Anthony wrapped their arms around her "Sweetheart if it was bad news Jennifer would have been back by now, so no news is good news" she smiled softly.

The soft knock on the door pulled Sarah from her thoughts "Doctor is where is Ma" Sarah said as tears began to roll down her cheek again. "Sarah?" "Yes now please tell me" Sarah demanded "You mom is doing well, a little sore, Jennifer is with her" Sarah breathed a sigh of relief "Can I see her" Sarah pleaded, "Jennifer has asked me to come and get you all but she wants Sarah to go in first" Sarah smiled as everyone rose and started to follow the doctor.

Emily was still groggy as she lay there cradling Morgan "He is just" she looked at JJ who was holding Jane "they are perfect" she smiled "They are beautiful just like their mommy" JJ said as she looked down at her daughter "perfect " she whispered "Jen, you promise me they are okay "Emily looked at her the fear showing in her eyes as they washed over them both "Baby I promise, they were a little quite when they were born and sleepy, but that is only because of the anesthesia, Em they ran some tests they are fine" she smiled reassuringly

They were both pulled from the quite thoughts by a soft knock as JJ spoke softly "Come in" Emily smiled as she saw Sarah "Mom" she let out in a breath "You okay?" Emily chuckled slightly "I am fine" Emily looked at JJ for a moment "I will explain everything later Sarah" JJ promise "Okay" she said softly as she walked over to them both "So what do you think of your little brother and sister" Emily asked as she kept a close eye on her daughter.

"They are perfect Mom" she smiled as JJ placed Jane back into the cot before taking Morgan off Emily so Sarah could get to her mom fully "I was so worried mom" Sarah said and she wrapped her arms around her hiding her face in Emily's neck, "I promise I am fine, sore and tired, but other than that" she paused and looked at JJ as she placed a soft kiss on Sarah's head.

JJ rubbed Sarah's back gently "Do you think we will get shouted at if we bring everyone in for a few minutes since I know they are all worried" JJ smirked as Emily nodded "Tell them to come in but quietly" Emily said as she kept hold of Sarah "Mom you swear you're okay, what happened" she mumbled into her neck "I promise i am fine and Jen will explain everything to you I promise" Sarah nodded as their family and the team entered.

"Emily" Elizabeth said softly as her eyes fell onto her daughter, Emily raised her hand to hush them all "I am fine, and so are our children" Emily smiled as they all walked over to the cribs.

Garcia grinned "they are just" she was lost for words as JJ laughed slightly, before speaking "Right before we get shouted at can you all leave and come in one at a time, we just knew you all needed to see Emily and the babies are okay" JJ smiled as they all nodded.

Elizabeth, Sarah and JJ stayed in the room as the others left "Emily what on earth happened" Elizabeth said the concern in her voice showing through "I lost a lot of blood Mom, that's all I promise we are all okay" Emily said with a slight smile as JJ went over picking Jane up "Would you like to meet your granddaughter" JJ said as Elizabeth carefully took hold of her.

"Emily, Jennifer she is just perfect, I am so proud of you both" she looked at her for a moment before she spoke again "She just looks like you, Sarah when you were born, though she has a little more hair" Elizabeth smiled softly as Sarah went to take hold of her before passing her to Emily.

"This little man is Morgan" JJ grinned as Elizabeth took hold of him "Emily, Jennifer, I hope you don't mind but I have set up the trust funds already" Emily nodded as Sarah and JJ frowned "I thought you had already done that Emily?" JJ asked looking slightly confused at them both.

Elizabeth laughed slightly as she handed Morgan back to JJ "Yes Emily has set one up for them as well, I guess Sarah didn't know about this either" she looked pointedly at her daughter "She didn't need to know yet" Emily shrugged slightly as she looked back down at her daughter.

Elizabeth shook her head "Sarah you have one as well it just hasn't been shown to you, it has money placed into it every month from a few different businesses we own and your mother also owns, and by the look on both your faces you don't know this either" JJ and Sarah shook their head "No but when we get home I will be looking through ALL the paper work" JJ said as she glared at her wife.

"It's all in the safe" Emily said softly as she looked at her family "Mother can Jen's mom and dad come in please before you get me into any more trouble" she said with a slight wink.

Sarah wouldn't leave their side as the rest of the family and team came in to see them all "They are going to start to feel like a parcels soon with everyone picking them up" she joked as Emily took hold of them both JJ was sat on the bed with her arm around her wife. "I love you all so much, thank you for letting me be your family" JJ said as a tear fell down her cheek as she looked at Sarah "We love you to baby" Emily said as she leaned into her

"Sarah would you mind asking Reid, Rossi and Garcia to come in for a second we need to ask them something" Emily said with a slight yawn "Okay but Mom you also need to rest" she said as she got off the bed before walking into the hall bring the three of them back.

JJ took Morgan off Emily as she got off the bed so Emily could speak "is everything alright Em?" Garcia asked as they walked in, Reid looked at her with unsure eyes and Rossi eyes looked full of life for once "Garcia everything is fine I want to ask you all something though" JJ handed Morgan to Rossi as he looked at him with so much love.

"Rossi you have been like a father to me the past few years and we feel it is only right to ask you, Reid you are already my little brother and Garcia you know what you mean to us both you all do" she paused as they looked at her.

"Be grateful she doesn't have to speak to the press they would fall asleep in seconds" JJ joked as she looked at her wife "Okay I will get to the point" she said as she stuck her tongue out at JJ, the three of them laughed slightly as Rossi just stared at the bundle of joy in his arms "Would you be his godparents it would mean the world to me and Jennifer" she said softly as she yawned again.

"Really?" Garcia nearly squealed "Yes" she looked at Reid for a moment "Reid?" he looked back at her "I would... it you mean...I mean… Yes" he finally mumbled out as he looked at Rossi who now had the silliest grin spread across his face.

JJ and Emily laughed as Reid tried to get his words out "I don't think I've ever seen you speechless before, unless there is a woman you like, around you" Emily teased. The three walked out of the room sending Morgan and Hotch in as the lady's have requested.

"Hey princess" Morgan smiled as they both walked "I am sorry but I will make this quick" JJ said as she looked over at her very sleepy wife, Emily could barely keep her eyes open "Would you three" she looked at Sarah "Be Jane's godparents" she smiled as Hotch and Morgan nodded "Can I?" Morgan asked looking at Jane. JJ carefully passed Jane to Morgan "You are going to be truly spoiled" he smirked before handing her back.

"Sarah" JJ looked at her as Sarah just looked at them both in shook "Really Ma?" she asked as JJ smiled "Really Sarah" JJ said walking over to her and running her fingers through her hair like she had many times before with Emily.

The team slowly left for the night as Sarah settled onto the chair, JJ was laid on the bed next to Emily and their children were tucked up near them, Emily had fallen asleep in JJ's arms just before the team had said goodbye. **'This was their family'** JJ thought to herself as she looked at her children and back at her wife.


	83. Chapter 83

**Chapter 83**

Going Home

"You're sure about this... I mean" JJ looked at Emily "I am more than sure" "But Jen we" "will you just be quite, everything has been taken care of" Emily frowned for a moment "How can it be they were five weeks early for gods sakes" "You think I hadn't noticed that?" JJ asked as she pinched the bridge of her nose, Emily sighed softly "Jen what if it's too soon" JJ looked into unsure brown eyes, as she placed her hand on her cheek "Emily I promise they are fine you are doing a lot better as well"

JJ paused as a single tear rolled down her cheek "Baby listen to me" JJ said as she looked confidently into her eyes "You have been in this hospital for two weeks, and I want my wife to come home, I know your scared and worried, but I promise you they wouldn't be letting you or our children go home if they thought for a moment something was wrong" JJ took a breath "I want my family to come home Emily" JJ smiled sadly

"Jen what if something happens, what if I can't cope, what if you have to go to work and what if" JJ placed her fingers on to Emily's lips "Listen to me, there will always be what ifs and they how's and the whys, we have to learn as we go, sweetheart you are not going to mess up, you're not going to hurt them and you can cope, if you can't believe in yourself can you please believe in me?"

Emily looked at JJ "What if I hurt them?" JJ half smiled "Em, you won't hurt them because you love them and I love you" Emily shook her head slightly "Jen" "Emily have some faith in yourself baby I have faith in you that you can get past this, you have been through a hell of a lot in a short amount of time but that does not mean you did anything wrong, they wanted to come early it wasn't anything you had done"

"I have the rest of the month off" JJ said softly trying to ease Emily's fears; Emily wasn't suffering from depression she had bonded with their babies, but she couldn't help feeling like she had hurt them before they were born, the doctor had explained that they may have development problems but it was too early to tell yet, so far they all were doing well, Emily just couldn't see that it wasn't her fault.

"How you manage that?" Emily asked with a slight scowl on her face "If I am honest I have no clue the director ordered it or something" JJ said; all JJ knew was that Straus had ordered her to take the time off. Emily laughed "Pays to know people sometimes" Emily winked "You're sure we can I mean we're ready? I'm ready? What if I mess it up" JJ rolled her eyes just as Sarah walked into the room.

"Emily Sarah turned out okay, so I do not understand why your so worried" JJ said "Hey Sarah" she smiled "Hey Mom, Ma, is everything okay or she freaking out again" Sarah asked "She is right in this room young lady" Emily warned before looking at JJ "Jen I want to go home" her eyes were unsure but she knew she could trust the woman in front of her "Finally" JJ laughed.

Emily smiled at her wife and daughter just as another wave of panic coursed through her body "baby we, we, haven't got everything for them" Emily's eyes were wide the fear and worry showing, JJ rolled her eyes before looking at her wife "For the love of god Emily, I have sorted everything out car seats bottles diapers and I have even gone as far as getting a new car to fit us all in and the buggy so please explain to me now why we are not ready to get our family home"

Sarah looked between them both as she spoke "I'll just wait outside just let me know" she said backing out the door "I think my Ma is going to kill my Mom and before they have even met you" Sarah smiled "Why would your Ma kill your Mom" Adam asked "Because like me they are stubborn and Mom is freaked out about going home in case she screws up" Sarah shook her head "They carry guns right?" he asked looking rather worried "Trust me they won't shoot you, maybe a back ground search but your blood won't be spilled" Sarah said as she tried to give him a reassuring smile "Though they might kill me" she joked

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, I mean your mom is hopefully going home today, and you should be with them I can wait" Adam said looking at her softly "Adam trust me, they are always like this, if they are not working, or when Ma isn't shooting Mom" "Hang on she shot your mom" Adam said in disbelief.

JJ had stepped out the room just as Adam had spoken she glared at Sarah before staring at him "Yes I shot her, do you have a problem with that" JJ said as she glared at him "Ma, hi" Sarah said as she stepped in front of Adam "No Ma'am no problem here" he replied as he hid behind Sarah "Sarah!" JJ said with a questioning look on her face "Do you like telling people that I shot her or did it just pop up in conversation" she asked as Sarah blushed "Ma, it isn't I mean he, it didn't, he's my" Sarah sighed as JJ started to chuckle "He is your what?" she asked as she tried not to laugh

"Ma'am my name is Adam" He held out his hand as he stepped from behind Sarah "And you're her?" she asked as she shook his hand "Ma he's my boyfriend" JJ closed her eyes slightly "I am not being funny Sarah, but really of all the days to bring" she shook her head "Adam please call me JJ" she smiled at them both "Sorry I am slightly stressed out today" JJ said as she calmed herself down slightly.

"Has mom finally agreed to come home yet?" JJ smiled "Oh I am not giving her a choice anymore we are all coming home today, did your Grandmother track her down yet?" JJ asked as Sarah grinned "She did and she is at the house as we speak" JJ smiled "Thank god, Sarah do me a favour and take this young man home we should be leaving in an hour, I don't fancy the whole hospital hearing your mother have a fit" she said as she walked back into Emily's room.

"What she mean fit?" Adam asked as they headed out the hospital "She means my mom is going to kick my ass for not telling her about you sooner" she gave a weak smile "You think she won't like me?" he asked slightly unsure "Adam trust me Ma can talk mom around and keep her tamed but you will get the whole don't hurt my daughter off them both and Garcia is more than likely running a back ground check on you as we speak" she said with a slight laugh "They all FBI?" "Mostly apart from Ma's mom and dad, my grandmother is an ambassador and well my grandfather we don't talk about or mention near mom or she will pull her gun out but other than that the rest are all FBI oh apart from Mark that's Ma's brother" Sarah said as she opened the car door for him.

"So Em, we go home hopefully in an hour can I please or can you please get dressed, I brought your favourite top and pants" JJ smiled as she handed Emily her very familiar go-bag "Who is picking us up baby?" Emily asked as she sat up more "Your partner, he wouldn't have it any other way" JJ smiled, in fairness Morgan had been a life line for JJ the past two weeks, helping JJ find the most safest model of car which was big enough for them all to be comfortable in and not feel cramped, he had even helped set in the holders for the car seats in the back, Derek Morgan had become big brother protective uncle and godfather all over again but in fairness JJ only saw it as a blessing since Emily was so reluctant to go home


	84. Chapter 84

**Chapter 84**

**Translations are from Babylon translator, so if they are incorrect forgive me **

Morgan had arrived half an hour later to take the girl's home and if he was honest he couldn't wait though they were all sure Emily was going to kill them so much that Elizabeth had hidden all of their guns for the time being.

He knocked softly on the door before walking in on a half-naked Emily "Wow, sorry I'll just" JJ glared at him "Morgan close your mouth and get out" JJ snapped as Emily hid her face in embarrassment and shame, JJ sighed softly "Shh Em it's okay he didn't" "He did see Jen they are not that hard to miss" she said as her eyes filled with tears "Emily, come on darling let's just get you dressed, you know he won't say anything he loves you too much" JJ said in comforting voice.

"What we talked about before they were" JJ smiled "I have already told you, that we can and I have looked into it with Elizabeth and hopefully it can happen before Christmas" JJ said softly as she smiled at her wife "And I have thought about it as well and in the new year I will book some time off and have" she paused as she looked into loving eyes "You're sure Jen" "I have only ever been sure of a few things in my life and this is one of them, it's time to get rid of the reminders and move past them baby, you have dealt with everything so well and I am so proud of you, but I don't like seeing the look of shame that flashes in your eyes when I look and touch your body" she said softly as her lips met Emily's pulling her into a loving kiss "Now let's get your dressed and home"

JJ opened the door leaving Emily alone for a moment she needed to talk to Morgan, she found him at the nurses' station his hand resting on a wheel chair "You know she going to kill you for that" she said as she walked over to him "She'll get over it, plus I like pushing her around" he smiled softly "Morgan about what you saw" He nodded "I knew JJ and I won't say anything to anyone" his eyes looked at her sadly "I just didn't know they were that bad" She smiled softly "They are but" "JJ listen to me I love her like my sister, she is my partner and those don't bother me, they are proof of her strength and that she survived everything thing, I respect her too much to say anything or look at her differently she is my princess, and you are her knight" he smirked as she slapped him softly "Let's get my family home" JJ said as they both worked their way back to the room.

"Where did you park the car" JJ asked as they walked into the room "Near the front do you need some help taking the little ones to the car or shall I just go and load everything else in" He asked as he looked at Emily "Derek" Emily said unsure "Hey princess, you ready to get your butt moving, you've been slacking off too much lately" He teased as a smiled touched her lips "I've been slacking off?" she asked "And what the hell is that" she glared at the wheelchair "Your ticket home" "There is no way in hell I am getting in that I am walking out of here, I gave birth I am not injured so not a chance in hell" Emily said in a slightly raised voice.

"You know full well they won't let you walk out of here, have you even walked any further than the bathroom or to the cribs?" he asked as her looked at her "Well not really" she admitted "And didn't that hurt?" he said as a small smile crept onto his face "Fine, but who is going to help Jennifer take them to the car "Your wife is quite capable of getting them in the car, so stop worrying" he smiled "Is there enough room?" she asked "Has she not told you she bought a new car?" "Yes but" he laughed "Emily I took her shopping and I made sure it is safe and big enough for you JJ the twins and Sarah to all get in with enough space to swing a cat around, if you wanted to, though I think that might be against the law" he said with a smirk.

"Where is she?" Morgan rolled his eyes slightly as he looked at her "Loading the car up with all your things, you know Garcia bought the whole shop" he laughed as he helped her into the wheelchair "Morgan you promise it's safe?" "Whoa, when did you stop trusting me" he said slightly hurt "look JJ bought the top of the range Chevy Suburban SUV, so you know that it is safe" Emily looked up at him "Please tell me it's not black" he laughed "No it is metallic blue" Emily smiled "Thank god, don't want to feel like I am at work when we go somewhere" she joked as JJ came back in the room, "did you get them into the car seats?" JJ asked as she fully walked into the room "Of course you really thought I'd leave you to do it all yourself?" he teased

"Right can we please go now?" Emily looked at her for a moment "Are you sure you don't want Morgan to help you?" Emily asked softly "Em, I am very capable of putting our children into a car and plus I don't trust you to stay in that if he came with me" she joked as Emily glared at them both "You'll get the door for her right?" He nodded as JJ picked up both car seats heading out the door making her way to the car.

Morgan started to make his way slowly down toward the exit as Emily spoke to him "Morgan about what you saw, I mean" she paused as Morgan stopped in his tracks so he could talk to her face to face, kneeling down in front of her he smiled as he spoke. "Emily listen to me please, I already knew and it does not make me think of you any differently nor do I think of you differently, so stop worrying your still my princess and no one will ever know" she smiled at him "Thank you" "Now let's get you home" he smiled "I can walk" Emily smirked "No you're not allowed plus I like pushing you around, since it's the only time I am really able to"

JJ helped Emily into the car "Damn it" Emily winced as she got in "You okay" "Yeah just pulled a little" she admitted as she finally sat down "Nice car" she smiled as Morgan got into the front allowing JJ to sit in the back with their children "So how much did this cost us?" Emily asked as they made their way home "A few grand" JJ said softly hoping she wouldn't get shouted at too much Emily smiled "I like the colour" Emily said as she started to mess with all the gadgets on the dash "You're not mad?" JJ asked as she watched her wife "No not at all, you got something that would keep our family safe, how could I be mad?" Morgan laughed "You too are so cute, you know that" he teased as Emily slapped him "You shut up and drive, I need the toilet" Emily said as Morgan pulled up towards the gates before driving in and heading towards their house

Morgan pulled the car into the driveway before helping JJ get their babies out the car, JJ seemed to be taking it in her stride "Morgan just unlock the door I can manage" He nodded "You're sure" he asked as JJ rolled her eyes "I am more than sure now just do as I have asked and help Emily out please" Emily watched her for a moment trying to settle the nervous, she was fine in the hospital because nurses and doctors were around but here at home there was just her and JJ and that scared her.

"Prentiss you ready?" Morgan asked as he looked at his partner "Yeah I guess" he stared at her for a moment "Emily why do you look terrified?" she looked at him for a moment "When Sarah was born, I had a house full of people to help and now there is just me and Jennifer, what if I can't cope" she asked as he helped her out of the car "You will cope because you have friends and family around you that will do anything for you and we are all just a phone call away" he smiled at her as he walked her towards the front door "Trust your wife Emily, she won't let you fall"

Emily stopped in her tracks as she walked in her house was full of her family her friends and a strange-looking man next to her daughter "Who the hell is he" she growled at Morgan "Em, don't shoot him" JJ warned from the side of her "Jen do you know him" she shook her head "He's called Adam that's all I know" "And you allowed him in our house?" she looked at her wife "Shh, just keep calm and wait till everyone has gone please" she looked at a worried Sarah as Emily's eyes bore holes at her daughter "Fine, but I don't like this one bit Jennifer" she stated before walking fully in.

As Emily walked in she stopped someone stood in the room to the side watching over her babies "Who the hell is that near our children Jennifer" she almost shouted causing the older women to turn around and smiled at her "Emily, son hermosos y se veía hermosa como siempre" Emily gasped as she looked at her before a board smile reached her lips she looked at JJ "you found her" JJ smiled "We did baby" "Isabel es muy agradable ver que usted, cómo estás?" "Bueno gracias, Sarah ha crecido en una encantadora señorita" JJ looked between them both "English please you two" Emily laughed "Oh right sorry" Emily smiled at her "Isabella this is my wife Jennifer" JJ nodded "We have already met sweetie"

The rest of the team welcomed her home before her eyes fell on her mother "Mother, thank you so much is she staying though?" Emily asked in a whisper "Oh yes she is and we moved her in last week, we wanted it to be a surprise for you" Elizabeth smiled "You don't know how much it means to me" Emily said as her emotions tried to take over, before her eyes landed on her daughter "Mom, welcome home" Sarah said carefully as she held Adam's hands "Thanks Sarah" she said stiffly as she looked him up and down "And he is?" Sarah bit her lip "This is Adam, Adam this is my mom" Adam held his hand out though it was shaking slightly as Emily just glared before looking at them both, Sarah knew that look, she sighed "Mom please" Sarah said softly "We will talk later and that means you as well" she glared at Adam" Sarah gripped his hand as he spoke "Yes Ma'am"

**(Emily, they are beautiful and you look beautiful as ever**

**Isabella it is so good to see you, how are you?**

**Good thank you, Sarah has grown into a lovely young lady)**


	85. Chapter 85

**Chapter 85**

Sarah had pulled JJ into the dining room while Emily talked to the team and Elizabeth helped settled the babies "Ma, please" Sarah begged as she looked at JJ, "Sarah you know what your mom is like" she said softly as she looked at Adam

"Ma, I have told him" JJ frowned slightly "Can you tell me this Sarah, how long have you two been seeing each other and I warn you now do not lie to me, you think your mother is bad you sure as hell do not want to piss me off" JJ warned as Sarah looked guilty "four months" Sarah whispered "YOU WHAT!" JJ shouted at her "You have kept this a secret for four bloody months"

"I didn't want you or mom stressed, you've had enough going on without having to worry about me" Sarah said calmly; yes JJ was right Sarah had never seen this side of her

"And you think this is what, less stressful?" Sarah looked down as she kept hold of Adams hand "Ma'am if I may" "No you may not" JJ glared "You bring him to meet your mom on the day she gets out of hospital after giving birth, nearly dying and is more stressed than when she got" JJ took a breath "Sarah please remind me why you don't use your brain?"

"I love him Ma" Sarah said as she looked into blazing blue eyes "You what! You don't even know him, hell we don't even know him" JJ said as she looked at her "Ma'am with all due respect this isn't your choice, I love Sarah and no matter what you or her mother or in fact any other member of your family throw at me I am not going anywhere" Adam stated firmly

JJ lets out a slight laugh "and you and your friends and family can run whatever checks you want on me, I will even make it easy and give you my family tree, dates of births of all my family members, but I will not stand by and allow you to shout at her" JJ glared she didn't know if she was to be mad or just laugh as she looked away "Adam I will warn you now do not speak to my wife like that" he nodded in understanding as the voice ripped through the room

"Who the hell do you think you are, to come into my home and speak to my wife like that?" Emily scowled from the doorway "Emily" JJ said softly as she looked at her wife "Now explain to me what the hell is going on" JJ's dad opened the door slightly as Emily spoke "I would like to speak to my daughter alone now, please" Emily said firmly giving no room to argue as Anthony opened the door "Come with me kiddo" he smiled at the two of them kindly before closing the door.

Emily sighed slightly as the door closed leaving Sarah JJ and Emily alone to talk "Right young lady I want to know everything and everything includes if you're having sex to where he is living" Emily said as she sat down "Mom please"

"No Sarah I won't, the last boyfriend you had, was stealing off you, the one before that saw your body and made sure everyone at school knew about it to the point you had to change schools and you want me to do what? Sit back and watch you get hurt?"

Sarah sat down looking at her mother "Mom it's not like that I swear" "Then explain it to me, explain to me why you have kept this hidden and when you felt you couldn't come to me about this and then explain to me why the hell you chose today of all days to bring him around, are you trying to give me and Jen a heart attack" Emily said calmly

"His name is Adam Brogan, he is 22, he attends my college and will be at Georgetown University with me, he will be studying Law, his farther current managing partner, Stephen J. Brogan at Jones Day international law firm here in DC, his mother works at the pentagon and as for sex we haven't had any as of yet and as for where he is living which would you like the house in DC or the ones aboard?"

Sarah smirked "And the reason I brought him today was because I needed him mom" she looked at her mother with sad eyes "So you won't mind if we run background on him" Emily said not fully believing her daughter; Sarah had been lied to, too many times by people when they had figured out how much her family was worth and how much money Sarah had got.

"Sarah" JJ said softly as she looked at her "Why do you need him here today?" Sarah looked sadly at her mom for a moment before Emily brain registered the date "Shit Sarah I am so sorry" Emily said

"Mom you've had too much going on its okay" "Can one of you explain to me what I am missing here?" JJ asked as she looked at them both confused Emily smiled softly "The day Sarah got the" "Oh right" JJ said understanding straight away; 26 August was the date that Sarah and Emily had been attacked

Anthony took Adam to sit in the back room giving the three women time and privacy to talk "I am sorry" Adam said "Oh you haven't done anything wrong, well as far as I know you haven't, you have to understand Emily and Jennifer have been through a lot the past few weeks and Emily's hormones are all over the place and Jennifer is "Stressed?" Adam offered as started to pick at his pants

"She is like any new mother Adam, scared, I don't know if Sarah has told you but we nearly lost Emily two weeks ago and I know there is more to it than they want to share, which is also their right"

"Sarah did tell me but she asked me to come with her because she needed me to be with her today, I have respect for her and I don't question her if she asks me or wants me for anything I will be there for her" Adam said honestly

"You have to understand she is Emily's baby girl, she is her first born and Emily is very protective over anyone she loves" Adam laughed "I think I might be more scared of Jennifer" Adam admitted "Oh yes, she has a temper, not many people like to see that side, but she is also Sarah's mother do you understand that"

Emily JJ and Sarah all stood in the doorway listening to Anthony and Adam talk "I understand all too well that Emily and Jennifer are her mother and I respect that, I also know that Sarah loves Jennifer as much as she loves her mother, but you have to understand that I would walk over hot coal for that woman, I will wait for her and most importantly I respect her as a person as well as a woman, it has been the way I have been brought up and I can promise you that your granddaughter will want for nothing ever, well unless her mother's kick me out or shoots me that is" Adam smiled as the three women burst out laughing

"Not kicking you out just yet, but I will tell you this now if you hurt her I will shoot you or I can have a dear friend of mine do a 'thing'" Emily smiled "But firstly never speak to my wife like that again" Emily said as she gripped hold of JJ "Baby you okay?" JJ said as she wrapped her arm around her "pain tired feeling sick" Emily muttered out

Adam rushed to get a chair for her before walking back into the kitchen and locating a glass pouring some warm water into it before heading back into the room "Ma'am drink this, my mom always said it helps after you know" he gave her a soft smile

Emily sipped the warm water as JJ rubbed her back "thank you" Emily said softly, JJ was fiercely protective of her family which no one had ever seen before but now she was like the lioness of a pride as she spoke "this was why I wanted you to lie down and rest, and this dad was the reason I didn't want everyone here today, I love you all but Emily needs her rest"

"Jennifer, it's okay not their fault" Emily said softly "I am just tired and my stomach is really hurting" she looked up at her wife as JJ smiled softly at her "Sorry I just" "I know and its okay" Emily said

"So you're not going to kill me?" Sarah said trying to ease the tension that was between them all "Not today" Emily half joked "But as for your Ma, you take that up with her" Emily replied, "Sweetie do you think you can get up the stairs if I help you" JJ said as she helped Emily to stand "If I say no are you going to shout at me" JJ laughed slightly "No I won't but maybe me and dad can help get you upstairs you still need to rest darling" JJ said lovingly.

Emily looked at Adam for a moment "I would still like to talk to you but as of today you get a free pass" Emily said with a soft smile on her face


	86. Chapter 86

**Chapter 86**

JJ and Anthony had finally managed to get Emily upstairs, Morgan and Jane were safely asleep in their bedroom, JJ looked at them both before turning to her dad "Thanks dad can you ask Sarah to come back tomorrow please and Adam I have a feeling Emily will want to talk to them both" JJ said softly, as soon as Emily had sat down on the bed and laid down she was asleep JJ couldn't help but let out a slight laugh as her dad spoke "She is going to be sore sleeping like that and Jennifer go easy on the boy I have never seen you like that with anyone before"

JJ bit her lower lip and looked at him and back at Emily "Dad she may not be my child but I class her as my own, I didn't see her grow up but I have seen her grow these past few months and if anyone hurts her it will hurt Emily which will then in fact hurt me, so until I know he is good enough for her and he isn't just after her money or to hurt her, I have my guard up, because you do anything you can do to protect your family and this is my family" Anthony smiled softly "He seems a good kid Jennifer, don't allow your fear to take over"

JJ frowned slightly "Dad it's not fear its love, I am her mother as well and that gives me the right to be protective just like I will be with our other children" he smiled at her "I am so proud of you Jenny just don't allow your protectiveness to chase him away, hear the kid out and listen to Sarah, I must admit I thought it would have been Emily to tear him a new one but you Jenny" JJ shook her head slightly "Dad she has been through a lot they both have and I don't want her to have any more pain than she has had already" JJ said as she closed the door softly, as they both began to walk down the hall

"Jenny listen to your old man" Anthony smiled "you can't protect her from pain, you can only help it hurt less" JJ frowned slightly "Jenny look at Emily and the pain she has been through did you talk it away, did you stop it or do you just make the pain less and give her a reason not to fall?" JJ laughed "I'd never allow her to fall and I hope I take her pain away" she said with a soft smile.

"Then treat Sarah as an adult and let her make her own mistakes in life, as parents it is all we can do and then we put the pieces back together again" JJ nodded as they made their way into the dining room so they could talk more in private. "Is it wrong to want to want her to go through pain, not want her to be hurt" Anthony smiled, "Jennifer we tried to protect you and we didn't, do we spend every day berating ourselves for it yes, because we allowed you to get hurt, we didn't do enough to protect you, but was that our fault? No, we had to help put the pieces back together again"

"You didn't allow me to get hurt dad" JJ said softly as she looked at him "What happened helped me take this path in life, and find someone who makes me whole and complete" JJ smiled, "But as your parents it was our job to make sure you didn't get hurt so we failed Jenny" JJ raised her voice slightly "YOU didn't fail, You didn't fail me, not then not now and can we please stop talking about this, it I s the past it is my past and I would like to leave it there not be reminded of it" she said in a rushed breath.

Sarah stood in the hallway hearing her Ma's voice raise slightly and she knew that tone, ignoring that fact that she was talking to her dad Sarah barged in to the room "Ma" Sarah said as she looked into watery blue eyes, she glared at her dad before calmly asking him to leave, Sarah closed the door before looking back at JJ "Ma?" Sarah said as she walked over to her, JJ wrapped her arms around Sarah tightly "Shh, ive got you ma" she said softly as she rubbed her back.

Sarah frowned slightly as she could feel the raised skin underneath her hand as she brought it up and down JJ's back, "Thank you and I'm sorry" JJ whispered in her ear Sarah pulled back slightly and studied her for a moment "I think you'd feel better in my mom's arms" she said with a wink "Come on Ma let me help you for once" Sarah said as she opened the door "Adam I won't be long" he smiled "I will be here take as long as you need Sarah"

"Ma you and mom are so tired, I know you might not like it but can we stay tonight please" JJ nodded Sarah was right she and Emily were exhausted "No sex" JJ stated as she opened her bedroom door, Sarah raised an eyebrow looking at her mother. Emily had managed to somehow remove her blouse exposing all her back and JJ looked just as dead on her feet as her mom had done before.

"Ma let me help you, your both too tired for this" JJ shook her head "I can manage but thank you Sarah" Sarah smiled at her as the soft words left her lips "I know Ma and its okay" JJ frowned slightly "You go back downstairs so I can get your mom and me dressed I promise I can manage" Sarah nodded as she left the room, JJ checked on their children before removing her clothes she walked over to her wife and gently stirred her "Emily let s get you undressed and under them covers" she said softly "Jen" Emily mumbled in her sleepy haze

"I need you to wake up a bit baby" JJ said softly as tired brown eyes opened looking straight at her "Hey" "Hey yourself" JJ said as she sat softly on the bed next to her, hand fingers gently running along her exposed skin "I need to get your pants off sweetie or your stomach is going to be sore in the morning" Emily nodded as she turned over onto her back.

Once Emily was fully undressed, JJ climbed into bed, Emily pulled her close burring her face into her neck as she took in the scent that was unique to JJ "Hmm I've missed you baby" Emily said softly as their bodies wrapped into one another "Missed you more my darling wife" JJ said softly as she brought her lips down to Emily's pulling her into a soft and loving kiss.

Emily was pulled from her light sleep two hours later by the soft cries emanating from the room as she opened her eyes to look around she saw JJ holding Morgan "Jen" Emily whispered so not to make her jump "Hey sweetie" JJ said as she walked over with Morgan "Little man was hungry and now little princess is too" Emily smiled softly "You want me to take him?" JJ nodded as she handed Morgan over before walking to pick Jane up to give her the other bottle.

After they had been fed and changed Emily stood over the cots, they were still awake their eyes slowly closing as Emily started to sing to them.

"Fomentò Oro beso tus ojos, sonrisas le espera cuando lugar. El sueño, bastante bebé, no llorar, y voy a cantar una canción de cuna. Qué importa que no lo sabes, por lo tanto el sueño, mientras que más que un reloj que seguiré. El sueño, bastante darling, no llorar, y voy a cantar una canción de cuna."

JJ looked at Emily a soft smile touching her lips as they slowly drifted off to sleep "Come back to bed baby" JJ said softly as they both got back in bed "When" Emily smiled "I use to sing it to Sarah was she was born Isabella taught me it" JJ smiled "Is there an English version?" Emily laughed softly as she sung it softly in English

"Golden slumbers kiss your eyes;  
Smiles await you when you rise.  
Sleep, pretty baby,  
do not cry,  
And I will sing a lullaby.

Cares you know not,  
therefore sleep,  
while over you a watch I'll keep.  
Sleep, pretty darling,  
Do not cry,  
And I will sing a lullaby."

As Emily finished she looked down at her wife, who was now curled into her fast asleep "I love you so much Jennifer" she whispered as she drifted off


	87. Chapter 87

**Chapter 87**

JJ awoke the early not through the noise of the babies crying but the distinctive sounds of two Prentiss women arguing in the hall way.

"Explain to me once again, what the hell you are doing" Emily shouted "Mom it's no big deal" Sarah tried to argue her point "Not a big deal! Really Sarah Jane Prentiss, you really think this isn't a big deal!" "Mom please, if you want to shout, fine then shout scream at me if that makes you feel any better but can we at least do this away from my sleeping brother and sister" Emily took a breath before heading downing stairs "Get your ass down here now" Emily shouted once she was at the bottom.

"So you want me to explain why I stayed the night?" Emily looked at her in disbelief "This has nothing to do with the fact that you spent the night, this young lady has more to the fact that you have been seeing someone for the last four damned months and you bring him here in to my home MY HOME NOT YOURS" Sarah shook her head "Ma said we could stay, I was worried about you"

"Sarah, you don't know him, you don't know anything about his family and your telling me what, that you love him, you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who you don't know" Emily shouted "You know what Mom. You didn't know Jennifer, you didn't know her family, you were hooked on her from the moment you saw her, do you not think I wasn't worried she was after your money or going to hurt you, damn it Mom! can you not just be happy for me, for once. Instead of making it out as though I have committed a crime or killed someone"

"You just don't get it do you Sarah, you really don't understand why I worry so badly"  
"You worry because your my mother and it's your job to worry about me" Sarah said in a sarcastic tone.

JJ stood at the top of the stairs as Adam opened the door slightly "Should we stop them Ma'am?" Adam asked in a worried tone. "No Adam they need this, they need to shout and scream this out" JJ looked at him for a moment before looking down at her wife "this isn't about you Adam, this is about Sarah and her growing up and Emily missing it" JJ smiled softly at him "It's fear, let's leave them alone for now, they will settle down" Adam nodded "Okay" "Come on you can help me with our children, I promise they will be fine and please call me JJ" JJ said as she turned to walk back towards her bedroom.

"This is not about me being you mom and doing a job as you so nicely put it, this is about you not coming to me, you not talking to me, you feeling that you can't come to me" Sarah frowned for a moment "If I had come to you mom you would have told me not to do it" Emily let a small smile touch her lips "No Sarah I wouldn't have, this is about the fact that you don't trust me and you haven't for a long time, you talk to me , but you don't TALK to me, you are my baby and I have no clue what is going on in your life, this is about that, this is about that fact that you felt the need to hide this from me"

"I didn't feel I needed to hide it from you, your wrong I do trust you" Emily sighed as she started to turn away speaking softly "You know when I got pregnant with you, I didn't have anyone, I didn't know who to turn too, Matthew and John were there for me, but the people I needed wasn't because I couldn't turn to them for help, and I don't want my daughter to feel she can't come to me, I don't want my child to feel alone in the world"

Sarah placed her hand on Emily's shoulder "You had Grandma?" Sarah said with a questioning look on her face "Not at first I didn't Sarah, at first I had no one, wasn't till two months before you was born that I had my mother by my side, two months before you were born I didn't know what it was like to not have a mom, and that is the worse feeling ever"

"Mom!" Sarah said in a whisper "You see Sarah we weren't close like we are now, I doubt before she saw you on that screen she even knew I was around, I was passed between nanny's and household staff and only taken out to make mom and him look good, the perfect family, I was a doll for them nothing more, but you came along and for the first time in 15 years I had a mom, I had a mom who cared about me and I don't want you to feel that, I don't want you to feel you can't come to me" Emily kept her voice soft as she spoke

"I know you don't know your father and I know you will never meet him, but I did the best job I could, I protected you the best I could and you grew up and I missed that somewhere, I missed watching you grow into this fine young woman I see before me and it scares the hell out of me, because I have missed so much, I have missed too much and I have failed because you couldn't come to me" the tears fell down her face as Sarah listened

"Mom I don't care who my father is or was, because I have you. It wasn't that I couldn't come to you or that I didn't know how to come to you, it is because I wanted to make sure he was good enough for you to meet, to see if he was good enough for me. I need to know I can make the right judgement and the right choices in my life, you have this new family and I love you and Ma I do, but" Emily looked at her "You are this family, this isn't a new family this is your family Sarah, those children upstairs are your family, Jennifer is your family and if you hadn't worked it out yet the team is your family. And Derek is protective of his family so you know he has Garcia checking him out, even though I have asked her, they love you Sarah, and you just don't know them well enough yet"

Sarah wrapped her arms around Emily "Mom I love you so much, but where do I fit in to this, is there room for me in your family" Emily rubbed her back "Oh sweetheart you fit in this family, Jennifer loves you like you're her daughter, she wants to protect you like a mother does, we want you to love our babies because they love there big sister, you fit right here sweetheart" Emily took her hand placing it over her heart "you fit here because you are my daughter, you are my first born, this is your home and I love you so much and so does Jennifer"

"Then why can't you be happy for me mom? I have met this man who turns my world upside down, he stops the nightmares, he holds me even when I don't need him to hold me, I know you are here, you are my family mom so is Ma, but Adam is my world Mom he makes me feel beautiful and alive, I found what you have in Ma, Mom so please get to know him, for me?"

Emily kissed Sarah on the cheek as she looked towards the doorway seeing JJ, Adam and their children in their arms "Sarah this is your home and always will be and you fit in, you fit in our lives, we miss you, your mom misses you" JJ said softly as they both walked in "You promise Ma?" Sarah said with unsure eyes "I am more than sure I love you as though you are my own and I will protect you as you are my own" Sarah nodded before looking at Adam "You holding my sister" she whispered as he grinned "No I think I maybe be holding a mini you" he smirked as he looked at Emily.

"Adam" Emily started "It's your right to protect her Ma'am your her mom, but it's my right to be allowed to love her, but I can only do that with your blessing" he looked at Emily "I hope you don't take this personally, but I don't know you well enough to do that" Emily admitted as she looked at her family "Then get to know me" Adam smirked.

"Em" JJ started "Give him a chance, for Sarah and for me" Emily laughed "You wanted to kick his ass last night" Emily pointed out "No I wanted to kick both theirs asses last night, until I saw him defend her, and saw him with our children and also my dad gave me a few words of wisdom" JJ smiled softly

"Okay, I will give you a chance and I will get to know you but you call me Emily and not Ma'am" Adam nodded "I can do that Emily and JJ thank you" he smiled as he gently passed Jane to Sarah "You should get to know these two, they are just so cute" Adam smiled "Ma.. I… it's..." JJ shook her head "Sarah use your words please" Sarah chuckled as she tried to place her words "I know I call you Ma, and that you" JJ smiled softly "Sarah Jane Prentiss, I am your Ma and I will always be your Ma just like I will be with your brother and sister, it may sound strange but to me, you are my daughter" "Thank you"


	88. Chapter 88

**Chapter 88**

"You're sure about this Ma?" Sarah asked slightly confused as JJ laughed slightly "Need me to explain it again?" Sarah nodded slightly.

"Okay so first we have the goalkeeper they are the only players allowed to touch the ball with their hands and arms, however they are restricted to doing so only within their penalty area; for this reason, they must wear jerseys that distinguish them from other outfield players and the referee. If a goalkeeper is sent off or injured, and there is no substitute goalkeeper available, an outfield player must take the goalkeeper's place and put on the appropriate identifying uniform"

Sarah looked at her for a moment "Can a goalkeeper score?" "Yes they can, they are not confined to stay in the penalty box and are allowed anywhere they want to, though it is not fully advisable to do it just in case the other team get the ball" Sarah laughed slightly "Okay, can you run through the list of rules again though. Please?" Sarah asked as she took in the rest of the information. JJ laughed "You seriously need me to give you those rules again" "Yes I do" Sarah said with a soft smile

1. No Hands, please

I bet you knew that one. Most people who know nothing about soccer still know that you aren't supposed to use your hands unless you're the goalie. First, the rule for a hand ball includes using any part of the body from the tips of the fingers to the shoulder.

Second, the proper way to look at this soccer rule is that a player cannot "handle" the ball. A ball that is kicked and hits a player's hand or arm is not a hand ball. This means that the referee must use his or her own judgment to some extent in determining whether or not a hand ball is accidental contact or a purposeful attempt to gain an advantage.

Believe it or not, there is also a situation in which the goalie cannot use his/her hands. This is sometimes called the back-pass rule. Goalkeepers cannot pick up a pass that came directly from one of their teammates. In this case, the goalkeeper must use his feet. Infraction of this soccer rule will result in an indirect kick from the point of the infraction.

2. Throw-ins

A throw-in is taken when the ball crosses a sideline and leaves the field. The two basic soccer rules for a proper throw-in are to have both feet on the ground and to throw the ball with both hands over the head

3. Corner Kicks & Goal Kicks

A corner kick or goal kick is taken when the ball leaves the field across the end line – you know… the end of the field. If the offensive team kicks it out, play is restarted with a goal kick. If the defensive team kicks it out, play is restarted with a corner kick. The goal kick is taken from anywhere inside the "goalie box" as it is affectionately called. It can be taken by any player, not just the goalkeeper. The corner kick is taken from – yes, you guessed it – the corner nearest to where the ball left the field.

4. Fouls

The common rule of thumb on fouls is "If it looks like a foul, it probably is."

A player cannot kick, trip, jump at, charge, strike, push, hold, or spit at an opponent. Soccer can be a physical, contact sport when two opposing players both want the ball. Remember though, the referee is ALWAYS right.

5. Direct and Indirect Free Kicks

The simple difference between the two is this: On a direct kick you can score by kicking the ball directly into the goal. On an indirect kick you cannot score. An indirect kick must be touched by another player before it can go into the goal – that is the kicker and a second person.

There are many soccer rules around what causes a direct or indirect kick. In general, a direct kick comes from a contact foul or hand ball. Everything else is indirect.

6. Penalty Kick

A penalty kick results from a contact foul or hand ball by the defending team within the penalty area – the large box on either end of the field. So it's a type of direct kick also.

The ball is placed on the penalty spot, 12 yards in front of the center of the goal. All players must remain outside the penalty area and the penalty arc until the ball is kicked. The goalkeeper must have both feet on the goal line until the ball is kicked.

If after the ball is kicked, it rebounds off of the goal or the keeper and stays on the field, the ball is "live" and anyone can play it.

7. Two-touch Rule

A player cannot touch the ball twice in a row when putting the ball in play. You will see this called many times in youth soccer. It applies everywhere. You will see it frequently on kick-offs or direct and indirect kicks. If a kid barely hits the ball and decides to take another swipe at it, that is a two-touch.

This also applies to throw-ins. A kid cannot throw the ball in and then kick it. Nope. No way. No can do.

8. Yellow and Red Cards

This is the way punishment is given in soccer. If a player is given two yellow cards in the same game, that is equal to a red card. A red card can be given at any time without the player first receiving a yellow card. When a player gets a red card, they must leave the game and their team must play short. An ejected player cannot be replaced.

9. Offside

I decided to leave the best for last. This is without a doubt the least understood rule by coaches and fans alike.

The first thing to know is that you cannot be offside on a corner kick, goal kick, or throw-in. don't ask me why. Just accept it and go on. The explanation is too long. Also, it is not an offense for a player to be in an offside position. The player must be involved in active play as determined by the referee to be called offside.

A player is in an offside position if: he is nearer to his opponents' goal line than both the ball and the second last opponent. Clear yet? I didn't think so. Try this. An offensive or attacking player can't be ahead of the ball and involved in the play unless there is a defender between him and the goalkeeper. Or, you can't hang out at the other team's goal waiting for the ball. You can't be offside if you are standing on your half of the field. Also, the offside rule applies when the ball is kicked, not when the player receives the ball." JJ looked at Sarah for a moment.

"You sure about this, I mean we can always just go back home" JJ said as the pulled up "No I'd like to give it a shot Ma" Sarah smiled as they both headed towards the field.


	89. Chapter 89

**Chapter 89**

Emily sat down across the table from Adam, she glared at him slightly Emily couldn't help it she was protective of her daughter and in all honesty she didn't know what to say or where to start.

"I won't hurt her" He offered softly as he looked at Emily "How do you know you won't hurt her, you cannot make that promise, Can you" Adam sighed slightly "Your right I can't make that promise because you won't believe me, you can't allow yourself to believe me which to an extent I can understand, she is your daughter, but you" Emily shook her head slightly causing him to stop "It isn't a case of that, do you know how many people have hurt her"

"Can I tell you what I do know about Sarah, that way you can see that I love her and want to be with her and that I listen to her" Adam said with an air of confidents in his voice

"You can but I'd like to get to know who you are, so tell me about yourself please, I can't get to know or like someone if I don't know them" Emily said with a smirk.

"Okay I grew up right here travelled a lot with my family, I study hard because I would like to follow in my father's footsteps and become a lawyer, I am not some trust fund kid who has had everything handfed to me, I have worked hard for what I have, I have learnt to respect people and not too trust freely as most are out for one of two things, to hurt you, or they want your money" he paused for a moment.

"I know what I want in life I may in your eyes be young or too young to know what I want, but in my eyes I know who and what I am and I know what I want in my life and were I want my life to lead to, and I also know that I want to share that with Sarah because she is my world, I love her so much my heart hurts when I see her sad, it leaps for joy when she is happy or laughing, I love her and I am in love with her, Emily I can't help how I feel about her but if you allow me a chance to prove to you I am the right person for her, I will make you see I am the right guy for her"

"Adam she has been hurt so much, and I do not want her to be hurt again, she is my child she is also my baby no matter how old she is and can you understand that?"

"I understand that all too well, but will you allow me the chance to prove to you that I won't hurt her" Emily smiled softly "I will but I will warn you now, you hurt her and you will have me and Jennifer to answer too" Adam nodded "I won't let her down" Adam promised

JJ opened the door allowing Sarah to hobble into the hallway "Em! Can you come give me a hand please" JJ shouted as she shut the door behind them. "Hey swe… What the hell happened?" Emily asked as she looked at her daughter, JJ laughed slightly "She... Well I guess you can say she fouled someone" Emily frowned slightly "I thought it was a noncontact game?"

"Have you ever watched soccer?" JJ said with a slight laugh "Yes, not women's soccer though" JJ rolled her eyes "Let's just say, women play dirty" "And rough Ma" JJ nodded as they made their way into the kitchen "Please tell me the other one is worse off" Emily smirked "Two black eyes, busted nose, bruised ribs" Sarah said as JJ interrupted "I had to pull her off, she is worse than you Em" JJ said as she rolled her eyes.

"Sarah what on earth" Adam gasped as he finally joined them in the kitchen "You should see the other one" Emily and JJ shook their heads as they left Sarah and Adam alone for a few moments

"Baby if I knew the game was that rough" JJ placed her finger on Emily's lips "Shh, she enjoyed it and wants to go again" Emily gasped slightly "Your kidding me right?" JJ shook her head "No not at all, and sweetie she isn't that bad a little banged up that's all, she's like you tough although you look sexy as hell when you kick the shit out of someone" JJ smirked as she pulled Emily into a soft loving kiss


	90. Chapter 90

**Chapter 90**

**Minimal **

JJ arrived at work locking herself away in her office, to say she was in a bad mood was the understatement of the century, due to the fact right now she was glad her wife was on an assignment with Reid because in truth she wanted to kill her, not with a gun but a slow and painful death seemed to be very fitting after the conversation they had, had that night before she flew out to Colorado,

Emily had been back a week and within that week Emily had managed to upset and piss JJ off it wasn't the fact she was back at work within a month and a half or the fact that her surgery was coming up in a couple of months, it was the fact that Emily had spent every night in her study, not in bed next to the women she loved, Emily had begun to pull away from her from their children and all JJ could do was watch.

JJ for her part had spent that week locked in her office at work and snapping at anyone who dared to walk in, Emily spent the days at work quite as she worked on the consults on her desk, which the finished stack was piled next to her as she didn't dare to take them up to JJ. Morgan had tried to joke but Emily had cut him off just as fast.

The tension in the BAU bullpen was thick and Hotch doubted a knife would be able to cut through it. So when an undercover assignment came up he decided to send Emily and Reid undercover in an attempt to allow the two women some time apart before things got much worse.

They had received a tip about an local underground cult 'Ranch' that children were being abused, but since the caller never gave a name only that she saw it happen, child services had been called and with that so had the FBI.

As they drove towards the 'Ranch' they ran through the phone call which took place, the caller said she was 15 which fit with the Jessica's description "So what do we know about the leader of the compound" Emily asked

"Benjamin Cyrus no criminal record, no record at all really" Reid said as he looked down at the file as Emily spoke to Nancy "with their view on outsiders it would best if you didn't introduce us as FBI just use our real names and introduce us as child victim interview experts"

Emily paused as they pulled up outside the Ranch house where they meet Cyrus, who was sitting on the wall buy the steps "The children are in the school, I will take you to them" Reid paused for a moment before following them up the stairs "You using solar panels?" he said to Cyrus "you sound surprised" he commented as he looked Reid over "Not surprised impressed" he replied with a slight smile before starting to walk up the steps again.

Once inside Emily interviews a young girl at a school desk. "We received a phone call alleging that an adult male member of your church was having inappropriate relations with the younger woman here," Before the girl answers Emily explains that the reason for their visit has nothing to do with the community's religious beliefs.

"You're talking about Cyrus," the girl says. "Is it inappropriate for a husband to share a bed with his wife? He's a prophet. It's an honour to bear his children," the 15-year-old says defiantly.

Silent alarm bells go off. The girl, Jessie, explains that Cyrus is her husband and "a prophet."

Suddenly, Cyrus and a group of men burst into the room carrying automatic weapons. Unbeknownst to Prentiss and Spencer, police are about to raid the compound! Officers break down the doors and rush the school and church. From above, compound members open fire on the police. In the course of the shoot-out, a state police officer accompanying Emily and Reid is shot dead through the chest.

The police pull back. And the stand-off begins….

JJ came half racing back into the bullpen switching on the TV in mid-step of calling Morgan's attention. "isn't that where Emily and Reid are?" he questioned as JJ just nodded in response "HOTCH" Morgan shouted with enough emotion it pulled both Hotch and Rossi out of their offices. Morgan drew the attention back to the TV as they all watched in shock, just as the phones began to light up sending each one ringing.

"We are lead on this" Hotch said as the team didn't think twice as they headed straight out the building wasting no time getting to and on the jet. Garcia appeared on the laptop as she looked at them all. Morgan was the first to speak

"What you got for us Garcia?"

"Ah, we got budkiss. It's like the guy never cast a shadow on the known universe. However his predecessor, Leo Cane, is doing a 17-year stretch at Deerfield federal prison. Apparently Libertarians, do not like paying taxes." Garcia stated "17 years for tax evasion?" Morgan questioned "Oh no, that'd be two years for tax evasion and 15 for going after four IRS-agents with a Louisville slugger." Garcia said with a slight smirk on her face

JJ sat at the back of the jet wishing they were there already cursing herself for being so mad at her wife and also cursing Emily for the reason she was totally infuriated at her

As Emily sat in the basement the thought went through her mind **'if and when we get out of here Jennifer is going to kill me'**

Morgan walked to the back of the jet sitting opposite JJ "She is going to be fine" he said softly "And then I can personally kill her" JJ said the anger in her voice couldn't be hidden but Morgan pushed a little "What the hell is going on with you two?" he almost snapped "Oh you mean beside her pulling away not sleeping hardly eating and then last night before they left asked me if anything should happen to her make sure their children knew she loved them and she near enough said goodbye to me, so yeah nothing is going on" JJ snapped at him, Morgan looked at her for a moment "JJ you know she loves you and she wouldn't have meant it and I am more than sure she didn't know this was going to happen" he said calmly, JJ let out a sigh as she nodded "Sorry"

"Why didn't we know about a raid" Hotch said as JJ approached them all "because the state attorney general kept it quiet. Turns out Wells, has aspirations of becoming governor in the next election and didn't want the raid jeopardized" her voice was somewhat cold and detached as she spoke.


	91. Chapter 91

**Chapter 91**

Emily sat opposite Reid as they both looked over watching the two men that held the automatic guns.

"Did you know?" Cyrus shouted as he walked into where they were sitting, Emily looked at Reid both of them had an equally confused look on their faces "No" they answered "Where's Nancy?" Emily asked "They shot her, it wasn't us" Cyrus defended himself as he looked at the two of them.

"I demand to know why the FBI was sending in undercover agents into the Libertarian Ranch," he bellowed. Hotch walked up. "The only thing you're in a position to demand is a lawyer." "Who the hell are you?" "I'm Aaron Hotchner, Unit Chief. I'm the guy that is going to tell the Attorney General of the United States to charge you with obstructing a federal investigation or negligent homicide."

"You can't talk to me like that." Hotch stepped forward and got face to face with him. "Get off my crime scene."

Hotch stopped Rossi, as Morgan and JJ headed to the command post. Hotch explained that he had been put in charge of things and was able to choose the negotiator

"I taught most of those guys." Rossi said. "You want a recommendation?" Hotch shook his head. "I'm choosing you." Rossi frowned. "But I'm too personally involved. And so is the agent in charge."

Rossi gets on the phone with Cyrus. "Let's stop this before things get worse," Rossi says. "Please, Benjamin, send out your wounded. I promise they will be well taken care of." Cyrus asks for supplies, saying the group can "tend to our own." Rossi agrees, saying he will deliver the medical relief himself.

A few hours later, Rossi drives up to the front doors of the ranch. Listening devices have been hidden in the supplies and agents line the grounds with large microphones. Rossi is let inside and introduces himself to Cyrus. He shares a furtive glance with Prentiss and Spencer, careful not to reveal their true identities.

"I had hoped you'd let me take the children," Rossi tells Cyrus.

"They're our protection," Cyrus counters. "I remember Waco. We all do. They stay for now."

Once Rossi is gone, Cyrus begins pouring cups of wine - even for the smallest children. Emily and Reid, watch Jessie's body language in reaction to Cyrus. "She literally worships him," Spencer said. "There's no way she made that 911 call." Jessie's mother, meanwhile, immediately steps between the two.

Rossi returns to team headquarters outside the ranch. "He's too calm," he tells Hotchner. "It's like he was waiting for this happen and now that it has he feels vindicated." The team, meanwhile, gets a feed from the listening devices. "We will be with Him soon," Cyrus says. "They've drank the poison together."

Rossi and Hotchner listen in horror. Inside, Emily wants to act, but Reid kept her stilled. He claims that Cyrus is bluffing. Indeed, **'the prophet' **just wanted to see the reaction of the people in his congregation. Anyone not crying or panicking is being put on a loyalty list. In short, it was a test of faith.

Hotch, who was about to send in the troops, exhales deeply. Crisis narrowly averted. J.J. enters with an announcement: Leo Kane has arrived.

Morgan questions the former Liberty Ranch leader. Kane explains that he kicked Cyrus out of the compound years ago for "messing" with younger girls. Cyrus returned sometime later claiming he had found God and reformed.

"How does a kid like that get rid of you?" Derek asks.

"One day he came to me and said God him that I should leave the ranch," Kane explains. "I said 'If God felt that way, God can tell me himself.' He put a gun to my head and said, 'He just did.'"

Derek asks Cane to draw a map of the compound he commanded for 20 years. The angry inmate is only too happy to help.

Back outside, the team gets frightening news: Wells has leaked news of an undercover FBI officer to the press. Inside, Cyrus sees the report and challenges Emily and Reid.

"Which one of you is it?" Cyrus blurted out, seconds after entering the room. Reid passed him a confused look, as did I, but our minds flew into over drive as he brought out his gun.

"Which one of you is the FBI agent?" He began to repeat and I forced myself to lose the look of shock and realisation off of my face.

"Why do you think one of us is an FBI agent?" I could tell Reid was far from panicked. He was now thinking of a way out of this, and both of us knew, there was not one, not with Cyrus. As the only response to his question, Cyrus sent Reid a 'do not play dumb with me' look and clicked his gun into play to support the look.

"God will forgive me for what I must do." He took a step forward, turning the tip of the gun in the direction of Reid, straight on the path of his head. I knew at that very minute that Reid was dead if I did not intervene.

"I don't know what you are talking about." I saw Reid's nervous look, which was hidden so well that only a fellow profiler could notice it. I desperately wanted to be anyone else but me right at this moment. But I also knew Reid would be better at getting inside this guys head than me.

"One of you does. Who is it?" He never once took his eyes, off the gun or off Reid, and it was in that moment that I realised. Reid was already as good as dead to him. He had no hesitation in killing him.

"Me." I paused allowing Reid's protective glare to fall on me. "It's me." I repeated, and now Cyrus' eyes came on me. Before I knew it, the gun was unclicked and he had a fistful of my hair in his hand. I was now in a world of pain. So I cried out. I could not help it. It just happened.

"Get up!" He harshly tugged me so I was in a standing position, barely, as the ache in my stomach consumed me and almost crippled me over, but before I could grab my stomach to cushion the pain, I had a fist connected to my face, accompanying the previous slap. The force of the punch sent me hurdling over into the mirror on the wall, shards of glass meeting my chest, one to my lower neck and the rest to my arms and my face. Once again, he had his hands back against my hair, pushing my face further into the broken pieces.

"Proverbs 20:30 tells us, 'Blows the wounds cleanse away evil.'" I remembered that the team could hear me. They could hear every word, cry of pain and hit he passed. I knew they would consider coming in.

"I can take it." I managed to cry out after he spun me 'round and threw me against the floor.

"You can take it?" Cyrus rhetorically asked with confidence, whilst throwing another slap my way. "I can take it." I repeated one last time, hoping the team had finally heard me. "Pride comes before the fall." Cyrus mocked

"She's talking to us!" says Hotch, listening via headphones. "She's telling us not to come in."

"Why is it that she is always smack in the middle of these situations? Ugh!" shouted a very frustrated JJ. "Can't she just sit behind a desk for one day and not end up being held hostage, beaten or something else?" JJ said as she ran her hand across her worried face trying to compose herself "Remind me to kill her afterwards" she glared at Morgan who had the same worried look; that they all had on their faces.


	92. Chapter 92

**Chapter 92**

Hotch threw the ear phones down walking away slightly before he gives into temptation and punches something or someone. He wanted to rush into the compound and get Prentiss out of there. He wanted to make sure that Reid was also alright. He kept beating himself up mentally because he should never have sent Emily and Reid.

JJ paced in the back ground as she muttered under her breath **'first I'm going to kick your ass then I am going to make you damned well talk to me' **JJ muttered as the silent tears fell. Matt looked at her for a moment before looking at the two men "She seems more than pissed" he commented as Hotch turned slightly to look at JJ "You have no idea" he said with a slight smirk.

"JJ?" Morgan dared to mutter "What!" he held his hand up slightly "Can you calm down just slightly please?" "No I cannot and will not calm down did you not just hear that, I am going to kill her then put a fucking bullet through his head" Morgan backed away slowly as he heard Rossi mutter "You just told her to calm down are you totally mad?" Morgan shook his head as he looked at a very confused Matt

"I guess she is the one you don't mess with" Morgan raised his eyebrow slightly as he smirked "The wife is the worse" Matt looked at him confused "Wife?" Hotch ducked as he heard the familiar growl behind him "Yes wife, do you have a problem with that?" she snapped.

Matt frowned slightly "No Ma'am" as he whispered softly "Glad her wife isn't here then" Rossi couldn't help but laugh as he looked at the blazing blonde "She is here Matt, you just haven't met her yet"

Hotch sighed slightly knowing he best calm her down and get her mind on something else other than snapping at everyone "JJ would you mind talking to the reporters, we don't need them saying anything else that will set this guy off" JJ glared at him "Fine and if she gets killed remind me to kill her again" JJ ranted before she left the command post.

Matt looked at them both "Who pissed her off?" he ask "Her wife or I should say Emily did" Hotch said as he shook his head "Oh they, I thought" "Yes they are and not anymore" Rossi answered before Hotch had chance.

The hurried noises outside pulled their attention slightly Morgan walked towards the door seeing a few of the other officers getting into the cars "What's going on?" Morgan asked as he looked down towards the Ranch "Hotch, he's let some of them out" Morgan said calmly before heading towards one of the cars, as they pulled up near the front of the Ranch Morgan looked on in confusion walking down the steps was Reid his face full of worry as he turned to look back at the now closed doors.

Morgan jumped out of the car running towards Reid "Where's Emily?" he asked once he got close to him. Reid shook his head "I don't know I saw her before but they took her away" Reid said deflated "How was she?" Morgan asked as they headed towards the car "she says she's fine, but" Reid looked back at the "But what kid?" Morgan pushed slightly "looks like she took a bad beating" he mumbled in a sad voice.

Inside the compound Emily was laying on a bed. Several hours has passed since Cyrus beat her. She knew that he was planning a final act and that Reid was going to give a clue to the team to let them know. She lifted her foot so her heal managed to lift the blind slightly, in a hope her voice could be picked up she began to speak.

"If any of you can hear me I know that you guys are going to be coming in. I just need to know what time so that I can get the Women and the Children to the basement. I need a sign." Emily said.

After hearing what she said Morgan went and gave her the sign she needed. After figuring it out she told the woman who was tending to her. And together they got the women and children downstairs and into the basement.

"Emily!" Morgan shouted. "I'm alright. I'm alright. Cyrus is in the chapel" Emily said as Rossi wrapped his arm around her waist. "We need to get you out of here." Rossi said. Emily let Rossi lead her out while Morgan goes after Cyrus and the young girl. As soon as Rossi gets Emily, Women and the Children out the compound exploded.

Emily stumbles at the sound of the explosion as she tried to spin around and Rossi just catches her arm to stop her falling. Emily started to walk numbly up the stairs "Morgan!" she said in more of a whisper as she saw him emerge through the smoke, Morgan rested his hand on her shoulder as she wrapped her arms around him.

As they all walk over to the cars Emily looks at Hotch "Where's JJ?" Emily asked the worry showing in her voice "calling for an ambulance for you" Hotch said calmly before Morgan cut in "She wants to kick your ass Em" he looked at her as she shrugged slightly.

Morgan looked at Hotch for a moment before deciding to leave it for now they needed to get Emily and Reid checked out before the questions came and the other questions got asked, Emily sighed as they reached the top where the ambulance was waiting for them both, "Jen?" Emily whispered as JJ looked at her with sad eyes.

JJ rested her hand gently on Emily's other cheek as she spoke "I could so kill you right now Mrs Prentiss, but first" JJ said as she moved in closer the fear and anger sliding for as second as their lips met for a soft kiss "I think you get a kick out of scaring me half to death" JJ whispered as she sat next to her in the back of the ambulance, Emily smiled slightly "How many heads did you bite off?" she half joked

JJ shook her head slightly "A few, but I am quite sure they will get over it "she paused slightly "You're so far away from me Emily it is like I had and have already lost you" JJ admitted just as they pulled up outside the hospital.

Emily looked at her for a moment before she got took off into an exam room leaving JJ to fill out the paper work, Emily never answered her, she just didn't know how to explain anything because she had no clue what was making her feel like she was and what was making her pull herself back behind her famous walls, she stared blankly at the door as it opened.

Her eyes became downcast as she saw Morgan walk in "Where's Jen?" Morgan didn't answer her until he got next to the bed sitting himself next to her "Filling in your paperwork and trying to keep her temper under control" he said with a hint of sarcasm attached "Okay, how is Reid?" She tried again "He is fine, they are letting you go shortly" Morgan smiled as he moved off the bed before looking back at her "I've said this before Em, if you push her too far away, how is she meant to catch you when you need her?" with that he let himself out closing the door behind him.

"Is Emily okay?" JJ asked as Morgan sat next to her "She seems okay" JJ sighed "Let me go and get the stubborn women then we can finally get home" JJ said as she started to rise "Jayj? Are you okay" JJ smiled softly "I am and we will be don't worry" the air of confidents she had made Morgan trust her statement more.

JJ just prayed they would be alright as she slowly opened the door looking straight at her stubborn wife "Ready to go home?" JJ asked, Emily just nodded as she stood, JJ walked over to her, but before JJ could say anything Emily's arms were around her tight as though she was holding on, grounding herself "I love you Jennifer" she whispered into her ear, JJ nodded against Emily "I know" she whispered back not fully trusting her voice.

An hour later they were all on the plane, Emily had walked over to the small kitchen area to get a coffee as she headed back she looked at Reid she took the seat across from him, he looked at her slightly before averting his eyes back to the book, Emily placed a finger on top of the book lowering it down so she had his attention. "Reid I want you to listen to me" she said softly as Reid looked at her with sad eyes "This wasn't your fault, I don't want you blaming yourself" Emily stated before she spoke again "Reid, this wasn't your fault" she said softly as he finally met her eyes and nodded slightly before a small smile engrossed his face.

Emily rested her hand on his for a moment before looking past him, seeing JJ staring out the window. She began to walk over to her sitting across from her "Jen" Emily said softly "Not here" was all JJ could manage to say; keeping her face away from Emily's, as silent tears fell.


	93. Chapter 93

**Chapter 93**

The flight home seemed to take forever as her mood became blacker and distant she looked at her wife, the woman she loved, the one who held the key to her heart and soul, but inside she was numb. She sighed softly as she closed her eyes but regretted it within an instance; instead of trying again she stared out of the window waiting to land back on their home ground.

Emily mulled things over in her mind again **'was this home? Was it safe?'** she thought to herself, just when had she begun to feel like this again! Why was she feeling like this again? The answers she wanted wouldn't come, the walls slowly building back around her mind, her heart.

The thought of going home made her feel sick, the fear of what waited at home had her heart racing, the sweat was forming across her forehead as she closed her eyes slightly, but everything she tried wouldn't bring her any comfort, nightmares plagued her mind in sleep and they had begun to plagued her while she was awake, there was no running from it. No hiding, no one to talk to her mind was playing tricks on her again.

She hadn't slept in two weeks not properly anyway, she had gone to bed laid their next to the person she loved but within an hour of being there watching JJ sleep she was up and in her office locked away from them all. But here on the jet she couldn't hide, she couldn't run.

At some point during this she had drifted off into a restless sleep, her body too tired and sore to fight anymore, the play of emotions flew over her face even in her sleep, as she let out a slight groan.

The noise disturbed JJ from her sleep as she looked across at her wife, she study her face, Emily was asleep but as JJ watched the play of emotions on Emily's face she knew it wasn't a peaceful sleep, Emily fingers were digging into her arms as the pain ebbed across her face, JJ watched for a few more moments before she saw something she wish she never had to see or hear again.

The tears fell from her sleeping form as her body shook **'don't please' **Emily mumbled in her sleep, JJ moved seats sitting herself next to Emily "Em, baby wake up" JJ whispered hoping that she could stir her before the rest of the team noticed something was wrong.

Her voice broke out again slightly louder **'take me'** Emily called out "Em, wake up sweetheart please" JJ half begged as Emily's body shook more.

Emily was too deeply asleep to hear the blondes plea as the nightmare engulfed her mind and soul, the fear and pain showed all over her body and face as she began to scream in mind **'leave her alone' **she called out, but all she heard were laughing and sniggers as she begged.

JJ shook her again "Baby wake up please" she said it slightly louder this time **'I'll do anything'** Emily called out, but again all she heard was laughter and sneers surrounding her.

The noise coming from Emily and the soft pleas had caused the team to look at them Hotch grew more and more concerned as he saw Emily shake uncontrollably, but yet no one dared to go near.

"**NOOOOO"** Emily screamed as she felt a warm strong hand grip her arm her all she could see was them all she could hear was them, JJ knew she need to move and move fast as Emily's fist flew towards her, JJ closed her eyes as she looked back at her wife as she cringed inside when a voice she knew spoke "JJ what the hell" Morgan gasped as he walked straight over, JJ looked at him before back at Emily "Don't" was all JJ said before she drew her attention back to a very scared Emily

"She nearly, she went to" Morgan stuttered out, but was greeted with fiery blue eyes "Leave her alone Morgan" JJ said in a stern voice causing him to back off slightly, Emily had woken slightly still in the mist of the flash back she looked blankly at her wife, she heard the voices she just couldn't tell who they were and that sent panic and fear coursing through her body.

Emily hand reached out gripping JJ wrist tightly, JJ stumbled slightly as Emily pulled her with force, and Morgan went to help JJ but stopped dead when he heard Emily shout **"LEAVE HER ALONE" **Emily screamed as she wrapped her arms protectively around JJ.

Rossi gripped hold of Morgan's arm pulling him back slightly a warning tone in his voice "Morgan back away slowly" his voice stayed calm as he stepped back slightly, Emily shook as she held on to JJ tight "I won't let them hurt you" Emily said her voice laden with fear and panic, JJ nodded into her knowing it was best not to fight her wife, she had been her before, but the team.

She took a deep breath as she spoke turning her head so she could look at Emily "Baby I'm okay I promise" she said softly as she looked into blank dark eyes, her heart sank slightly "Emily look at me sweetheart, it's just me we are safe" JJ said in a calm voice.

The rest of the team had moved towards the back of the jet, listening to JJ speak to Emily, their hearts broke for them both. "Hotch" Morgan whispered, he nodded but kept his eyes on the two women in front of them "What the hell just happened" Morgan whispered his attention was pulled by Rossi "Nightmare and I am guessing flashback, just don't move" Rossi half warned as they heard JJ speak again.

"Come back to me baby, your safe I promise" JJ said softly as she brought her free hand up to Emily's cheek "I've got you Em, it's just you and me sweetheart I promise" she ran her fingers gently along her jawline as she spoke, the grip slightly loosening on her waist as she carried on speaking. "Em you need to wake up sweetie, I need you to wake up" JJ stared into dark black eyes as she watched the familiar lights come back on inside her wife.

Emily looked into blue eyes unsure if to trust the voice that she thought she knew, she felt the familiar touch on her skin as her body started to relax slightly, the tears pricked at her eyes as the dark mist that had fallen over her began to lift slightly.

"Emily" JJ whispered softly as she kept her eyes locked with Emily's, praying the team would stay still long enough for her to get Emily to come fully out of the nightmare her mind had dragged her into. "Jen?" she said in a hushed voice the mist lifting more and more as she stared into the blue orbs in front of her "Shh, I've got you darling I promise" JJ said softly.

The tears that had been building inside began to fall as her tight gripped slacken off more allowing JJ to turn fully, she wrapped her arms around her tightly, one hand running through her hair "It's okay baby, it's okay" JJ whispered, Emily nodded against her taking strength and reassurance from her wife. "You back with me sweetie" JJ whispered, though everyone heard the question, Emily nodded again as she spoke "I love you Jennifer" the words so soft JJ couldn't help but smile "I love you too Emily" JJ said as she turned her head slightly to look at the men behind them, she nodded slightly but never let go of Emily who was now wrapped in tight to JJ.

Emily mumbled into JJ "Sorry" "Shh, it's okay" JJ said softly, Morgan spoke softly as he didn't want to spook Emily "JJ?" She smiled at him though she still kept Emily hidden against her body "She's fine Derek" he nodded "And you?" he gave her a pointed look, JJ rolled her eyes slightly before she replied "I am fine as well" JJ said with a slight force behind it, an unspoken warning for them all to leave it alone.

JJ blew out a sigh of relief once the jet had landed she kept a tight hold of Emily as she spoke softly "Just wait here sweetie I will be back in a moment" Emily nodded against her as she felt JJ begin to pull away, JJ walked over to were Hotch was "I'd like to take her straight home please Hotch" JJ asked, Hotch turned and look at her for a moment keeping his voice low "What the hell happened" Hotch asked before he answered her first question, JJ's voice was sarcastic as she spoke "Let's see, basement, taken hostage, beaten" JJ let the words fly above his head as she glared at him slightly "Be in for 9am tomorrow" Hotch said, JJ held back slightly as the rest of the team got off the jet, before she moved to Emily "Let's get home Em" JJ smiled warmly.

Once they had arrived home Emily had withdrawn into herself again, JJ greeted the twins and Isabella "Can you watch them tonight for us please Emily has been through a lot these past few days" JJ said softly to which she got a swift nod and smile in return "I saw the news, you both safe yes?" JJ smiled at her "Yes we are"

JJ left Emily in the kitchen as she took their bags upstairs, she wandered into the bathroom flipping the taps on to run a bath in the hope it would relax Emily. Emily sat staring into nothing as the soft voice made her flinch slightly.

"Dejar de esconderse de ella hable con ella, por favor, Emily" Isabella said softly "Si" Emily replied sadly, "Jennifer le ama y a su familia y su amor que" Isabella said softly before leaving with the twins.

**Translations from Babylon so forgive me if they are incorrect**

**stop hiding from her talk to her, please Emily**

**yes**

**Jennifer loves you and your family let her love you**


	94. Chapter 94

**Chapter 94**

JJ walked back into the kitchen taking in the form that was in front of her as she spoke softly "Em, I've ran the bath for you" she took hold of her hand and gently pulled her towards her "Come on" JJ smiled softly as Emily began to follow.

Emily followed never breaking the contact she had with JJ for a moment as they made their way upstairs, JJ turned slightly as she looked Emily up and down "May I?" JJ asked as she ran her fingers down her blouse softly, Emily nodded her permission.

'**When did it become so hard for me to talk to her?'** Emily thought to herself as she felt familiar fingers against her skin the slight cold air making her body flinch slightly, to which JJ just raised her eyebrow "cold" Emily whispered JJ couldn't help but let a small smile creep onto her face.

"Let's get you in the bath and warmed up then" JJ said softly "Join me?" Emily asked softly "Of course" JJ smiled as she began to remove her clothes but Emily stilled her hands "Let me please" Emily asked shyly to which JJ just nodded allowing Emily to undress her before they both headed into the bathroom.

JJ went to step in the bath tub but was stopped by Emily's hand "Let me hold you, please" Emily asked softly JJ nodded allowing Emily to get in first before settling herself in-between Emily's legs, Emily hands wrapped around her as she began to drew patterns on her stomach, "I'm sorry Jen" Emily whispered into her ear to which JJ nodded just allowing her wife to talk.

*****Two Weeks Earlier*****

"Mom you in?" Sarah called as she walked in the front door "in the kitchen Sarah" Sarah walked down the hall and straight into the kitchen "Where's Ma?" Emily smiled "On a case, why did you want her?" Emily asked as she began to pull her phone out. "No, I came to see you" Sarah smiled "Mom someone dropped this off for you at the condo" Sarah said as she handed Emily the envelope.

"Strange everyone knows we've moved" Emily looked at it for a moment before placing it on the breakfast bar Sarah shrugged slightly "I think it was hand delivered" Emily nodded as she placed a cup of coffee in front of her daughter before wrapping her fingers around her own cup "So you go back next week mom?" Emily smiled slightly "Yes, and if I am honest I can't wait" Sarah rolled her eyes slightly "You never could stay at home for too long" she said with a smirk,

After finishing their drinks and making small talk about their days Sarah smiled as she looked at her watch "I am going to have to go Mom, I am meeting Adam for a late lunch" Emily smiled softly "You and Adam doing okay?" Emily asked "We are mom" Sarah smiled as she got up kissing Emily on the cheek "I'm off to New York again so I won't be back for a few weeks can you give my love to Ma and my brother and sister please" Emily nodded "Of course I will you be safe and take care say hi to Adam for me, and Sarah I love you too"

With that Emily was left alone, she looked at the envelope which Sarah had given her, she had no clue, who it could be off and since the envelope itself wasn't hand written she had no other choice than to open it.

'**Dear Emily,**

**I was hoping since 21 years had passed we would be beyond this but yet again I stand corrected! You are as stubborn as your Mother! I thought you might have been able by now to allow the past to stay there but I see you still hold the same grudge… **

**Firstly though I would like to thank you for allowing me to get to know Sarah, nice to see she hasn't fully turned out like you maybe more like her father. Does she know about him yet or do you not care enough to allow her to get to know him?**

**I see you sent Sarah to do your dirty work yet again. I thought you were brought up with a backbone? Maybe the breeding was totally wrong.**

**Since I was unable to come to your wedding I would like to start with saying a belated congratulation… Though I do believe it to be a sham and since I know she couldn't have got you pregnant, which I believe that you are again! Tell me something Emily, where did you learn to open your legs so easily because it wasn't from your mother that's for sure!**

**I also heard you have not named the father of the children which you have had. Why I am not surprised you don't know his name. Maybe you just like the idea of raising bastards as children… though hopefully they will be able to grow up like the un-name father because you yet again are a disappointment. You always have been and always will be.**

**Let me remind you of why you are this. Before you had even turned 10 you was defiant in everything, the nanny's couldn't keep up with you. I had one checked into rehab after she had only been there a month and I wonder why I referred to you as the demon child!**

**At 15 you came home pregnant and we didn't find out until it was too late for us to get rid of it instead you bestowed it upon us like she had the right to breathe. Even though I know her I will always stand by what I said she should have been drowned at birth. Though come to think of it maybe you should have been as well. **

**It isn't nice having a whore as a daughter... but you didn't care did you? Lucky for Sarah she wasn't around you that much because God knows how she would have turned out you had been left to bring her up alone.**

**It begs the point but does your so called wife realise what a sad pathetic excuse of a person you are, how weak you are? But since she married you I guess she either felt sorry for you or just saw the dollar signs, because let's face it no one has ever loved you. That is your fault alone Emily.**

**I guess we didn't drill the bible into you enough or maybe we should have got you fixed. Tell me does your mother allow anyone to know your married and to a women? Now that would be a sight to see. I guess she like me is totally disappointed in you because you failed us and yourself. Three children and not a father insight I feel sorry for them. Tell me how you plan on telling them about him. Was he a one night stand? Or did you even care enough to get his name?**

**Maybe you will allow the same to happen to them as you did to Sarah, how she trusts you again after that I will never know, maybe knowing you, you bribed her to keep it a secret **

**Sarah has made it somewhat clear you don't want me in your life so I am for my part speaking my mind which is something you have always seemed to fail to do.**

**Try and keep your legs closed I don't want the Prentiss name tarnished any more than it has been over the last 30 or so years.**

**Richard'**

Emily didn't make it to the sink or the toilet in time before throwing up her breakfast all over the floor, the tears burned her eyes as the bile rose again in her throat. She didn't know what to think what to do, JJ was away on a case, Sarah was in New York, and Garcia was busy. She was alone.

Putting the letter back into the envelope it came in she finally made her way upstairs into her office where she placed it in the draw in her desk. All Emily could do to hold all the emotion and fears that were playing in her mind, was to shut down block it all away, she felt tainted disgusted with herself as the thoughts she had long battled spilled to the forefront of her mind

*****Back to the Present Day*****

JJ had stayed very still as she listened to Emily tell her part of what had gone on, what had made her want to hide away, but JJ being the person she was wanted to see the letter before she aired any comment, but for now she was the silent support that her wife had needed over two weeks ago.


	95. Chapter 95

**Chapter 95**

JJ leaned into Emily more as she spoke softly as she felt Emily take in a shudder breath "I am not going anywhere sweetie, but I would like to see the letter please" Emily nodded keeping hold of her wife pulling her more flush against her body "I'm sorry" she whispered "It's okay, I just wish you would have told me instead of hiding sweetie" JJ kept her voice calm and soft, though she couldn't help the anger building inside her.

The water slowly began to cool "Come on Em, let's get out before we catch a chill" she placed a gentle kiss under her chin as she spoke "I love you Jen" Emily said as they got out of the bath, JJ studied her face for a moment, her voice taking a serious tone but still gentle "Emily I have never doubted that for a moment and you shouldn't doubt my love for you, no matter what anyone says, you have and will always have my heart and my soul, I love you more than any words can describe baby" JJ pulled Emily close against her as she pulled her into a soft loving kiss. Emily let a soft moan flow as they kissed softly.

JJ smiled as she pulled away, making their way back into the bedroom she pulled out some sleep wear for them both as she turned and looked at Emily, "Where is it?" JJ asked, Emily looked down slightly as she spoke "Second drawer down on my desk" JJ nodded "Okay, why don't you see about ordering something to eat, whatever you fancy and I will down in a moment" JJ said with a soft smile.

After Emily had gone down stairs, JJ made her way into the office, she gasped as she saw the state, she hadn't been in their for a while, but now papers were all over, it was a complete mess, but she wasn't going to tidy it up tonight, she walked around to the desk opening the drawer finding the envelope on top she picked it up placing it in her pocket, she didn't want to read it while Emily was still awake as she didn't want to see her pull away any more than she had in the past few weeks, it could wait till she had taken her pain medication as they both knew they would knock her out which if JJ was honest it would be a blessing since she knew Emily hadn't slept much.

Making her way downstairs she heard Emily place the phone down back onto its cradle, "So what have you ordered for us" she asked as she walked into the sitting room "Pizza and some garlic bread" JJ laughed "Did you remember to order me a smaller garlic bread since we both know you have a whole on to yourself" JJ teased as she sat next to her, Emily arm snaked around her waist as she pulled JJ to lean against her "Yes I did" her voice held more life in it than it had in the last few days she looked up and into the loving chocolate eyes she had fallen in love with such a long time ago, her heart skipped a beat as she noticed the darkness in them had lifted slightly.

Emily was slowly opening the doors back up which she had slammed down around her "What you thinking Jen?" Emily asked as JJ stared at her with a soft smile "That you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen" Emily raised her eyebrow slightly "I heard you say that to the twins the other day" Emily teased slightly "Well since they look like you I think my point is proven" JJ smirked as they exchanged playful banter between each other.

The ringing of their door bell pulled them from their musing as JJ got up "Where's the money Em?" JJ asked as she made her way to the door "In the dining room" Emily smiled as she stood up heading into the kitchen to pull the plates out and juice, placing a beer on the table for JJ she looked up seeing the slight scowl on her wife's face "Just because I can't doesn't mean you can't" Emily said with a slight smirk "Thank you, how is your head feeling" JJ asked as she placed the boxes down on the table "Like I had a run in with a wall and a concrete floor" Emily said sarcastically, JJ shook her head "Well when you've eaten you can take those pain killers the doctor gave you and then get to bed" JJ said as she opened the boxes placing the pizza out for them both "You know they will knock me out" Emily half complained "Oh yes I know they will" JJ said jokingly "I will get some peace and you will get some sleep, so it's a very fair deal" JJ said as the laughter fell around the room.

Once JJ was sure Emily was in a deep sleep, JJ made her way back downstairs, sitting in the dining room she opened the envelope and started to read, she couldn't control the anger that built inside her, "How the hell can anyone say that" she mumbled as she pulled out her phone, pressing speed dial waiting for the other phone to be picked up.

Garcia's attention was pulled by the ringing of her cell she glanced at the caller id before answering "JJ for the love of god do not tell me we have a case" Garcia greeted her with before the sharp voice of a very anger JJ blasted through the phone "I want you to get me everything you can on Richard Prentiss, I want his address his phone number his fucking bank records everything and I want them fast" she scowled into the phone "Wow, kitten whatever has got you so pissed" Garcia said as she threw a glance at Morgan as she pulled her laptop out "I am going to kill him that is what, I am going to make him wish he had stayed the hell away from my wife and my children and then" JJ stopped to take a slight breath as she tried to keep the anger that was building under control

Garcia stared into the phone as JJ ranted at her, as she pulled the programs up to run a search for her though after the comments JJ had thrown at her made her hang back slightly "JJ tell me what has gone on, and kitten I am not going to help you commit murder" Garcia commented, causing Morgan to sit bolt upright "just get me the information Garcia, don't make me come round there for it myself" Garcia looked in shock she had never heard JJ like this, Morgan had managed to catch most of what JJ had been saying "Jennifer Prentiss tell me what the hell has happened" Garcia fired back "It is not your concern Garcia it is between me and him" JJ warned her temper getting the better of her "JJ take a breath and calm down for me" Garcia asked trying to calm her down slightly "Don't you dare tell me to calm down not after what he has done" JJ fired back "if you want my help you will tell me young lady" Garcia scowled as she looked at Morgan for some help.

"Fine Penelope I will do it myself if you won't help me" JJ fired back her temper was out of control as her blood boiled, she wanted to kill him she wanted to make pay and suffer, "I didn't say I wouldn't help you, I am asking you what the hell has gone on, and where is Emily?" Garcia asked "She is asleep and she is staying a sleep until I have sorted this once and for all" Garcia sighed slightly as she watched Morgan throw some clothes on and pass her some as she spoke "Can I ring you back when I have it JJ, my laptop isn't as fast as the 'babies' at work" she said softly, JJ's tone was still firm and off handed as she replied "Fine"

Garcia looked at the phone which JJ had cut off as she looked at Morgan "She's after blood Derek" Garcia's voice wavered slightly as she pulled her cloths on "I got that baby girl, come on we are going round there, you have your key, because I doubt she will open the door to us" Morgan said calmly as he clicked his gun onto his belt, Garcia looked pointedly at him and at the gun "Yes I have, but do you really think it is a good idea to bring that" Morgan let out a slight laugh "There are two of these in that house" he pointed out as she jotted down the information that had come up on her screen "You think it is safe I give her this?" she asked as she placed the paper into her purse "If you don't, she will find another way of getting it, at least with us there we can stop her from doing something stupid" he pointed out as they headed towards the car.

JJ paced the dining room as she waited for the phone to be picked up again "Where are you!" JJ asked as soon as the phone got picked up "At home Ma, everything okay?" Sarah asked slightly puzzled "Can you get round here please I need you to stay with your mother while I sort a few things out "Ma Adams with me" Sarah said softly "Well he can come as well, Sarah I am not asking you" JJ pointed as she continued to pace "Okay Ma" Sarah knew her Ma had a temper and she also knew when it was out not to ask questions as she looked at Adam as she hung the phone up "Ma wants us to go around now" Sarah said with a weak smile, Adam looked at her for a moment then at the clock 9pm "Is it safe?" he asked knowing that JJ and Emily sometimes had fiery tempers, Sarah smiled softly as she let out a stifled laugh "It's always safe there, but Ma sounds pissed" she admitted as they both headed out.


	96. Chapter 96

**Chapter 96**

"Damn it Garcia hurry up and ring me back" she shouted into the phone, as she continued to pace "How long does it take you to get a bloody address" JJ carried on talking to herself as she waited for Sarah to arrive and for Garcia to phone her back, her temper was growing more and more, no body upset her family and she sure as hell wasn't going to allow anyone to upset her wife and that included any member of her family.

Morgan pulled up outside JJ's taking a breath before getting out he looked at Garcia "Baby girl, have you ever seen JJ's temper in full swing?" he asked before they got out "Not really but I have seen Emily, she can't be worse than that can she?" Garcia asked as she looked at the house slightly worried, Morgan sighed slightly before he answer "Try 50% worse than Emily's and your only just going to be close" he mumbled as he got out, Morgan took the key off Garcia unlocking the front door, the light under the dining room door gave them both an idea where she was.

JJ heard the door go as she called through "In here Sarah" her voice still laden in anger, Morgan gingerly opened the door and looked at her "What the hell are you doing here" she half scowled "Well since you have threaten to kill someone, I thought it would be best if we came around before you go and do something stupid" Morgan replied keeping himself very calm as a worried Garcia popped her head around him "Did you manage to get what I asked for Garcia?" JJ asked "I did" Garcia answered softly, though she didn't dare move past Morgan.

Morgan looked at her for a moment, JJ's eyes were blood shocked red, though there were no signs that she had been crying he stepped forward slightly though he could sense the anger coming off her "JJ what an earth has happened" JJ closed her eyes slightly knowing that now they were here Morgan wouldn't let up "You really don't want to know Derek" he smiled slightly "I do because I do not like seeing my best friend so pissed off that you have scared the hell out of Garcia" he said softly.

"JJ where's Emily?" Garcia asked softly from behind Morgan "She is in bed and I want her to stay there, she hasn't slept in two weeks and with everything that has happened the past three days she is having trouble sleeping" JJ managed to say calmly "Now are you going to give me that address" she asked in a slightly firm voice as she tried to hold the anger in "She will, but I will be going with you, you are in no state to drive and Emily will kill me if you got locked up in a jail cell" Morgan warned "Fine, you can drive but you are sure as hell not coming inside with me" Morgan nodded knowing he wasn't going to be able to push anymore as the sound of the front door caught his attention "Sarah, I am in here" JJ called out ignoring the looks off her two friends.

"Hey Ma" Sarah pulled up short as she stepped into the room "Morgan, Garcia? What are you" JJ cut her off slightly "Sarah I need you to stay with your mom while me and Morgan go out" Sarah frowned slightly "Okay?" "She had a rough case, so I need you to keep an eye on her, medication is in the kitchen, if she wakes give it to her and please do not tell her I am not here" JJ said in a stern voice as she placed the letter into her pocket, Sarah recognized the envelope on the table "Ma what's going on" she asked carefully "I will explain later but right now I need to do something okay" Sarah nodded as JJ headed towards the door with Morgan and Garcia in toe behind her, Morgan paused slightly "baby girl you stay here with Sarah" he said softly which in return caused her to nod "Garcia not a damn word to anyone about where we are going" JJ warned as she opened the front door.

"Right JJ, give me the address please" Morgan said as he got into the driver's side, she handed him the paper Garcia had given her so he could tap it into the satnav "It's going to take us about an hour to get there JJ" he said once the direction came up onto the screen "Okay" JJ replied as she pulled out the letter again "What is that JJ?" he asked noticing the paper she had with her "Morgan if I tell you, you never utter a word to Emily or anyone else for that matter" Morgan looked straight ahead as he carried on driving "I won't say a word" JJ sighed as she began to read the letter out loud as she got half way through Morgan slammed on the breaks, looking straight at JJ who had the same fiery look on her face again "I am coming in with you JJ" he said as she just carried on reading the letter "No you're not this is between me and him Morgan" "No one has a right to speak to anyone like that and you sure as hell don't say that to your own flesh and blood" Morgan said calmly though his anger was building as well.

After the hour long drive they pulled up outside the address, which was in a remote location "Morgan stay here, if you come with me I doubt I will get through the door" JJ said as she started to undo the door "Fine but JJ try not to kill him" Morgan said with a slight smirk on his face "I can't promise anything right now just stay here" she warned again as she got out the car, walking up the long path towards the front door, Morgan moved the car slightly turning the engine off so he wouldn't get too spooked.

JJ rang the doorbell before banging on the door, an older gentlemen answered the door, he was tired looking grey hair, in what only could be described as granddad type pj's "Can I help you Miss?" he asked as he scanned around the street outside "May I come in" JJ said in a slightly stern voice, causing him to close the door slightly to stop her "You might want to let me in Richard or I can do this outside and I will make sure everyone hears me" JJ warned "Ma'am I have no clue who you are but I suggest you leave before I call the police" JJ couldn't help the snigger that came out as she looked at him her eyes blazing "No your right you have no clue who I am, but yet you seem to with what you have said to your daughter" she glared at him as he stumbled back slightly "I do not know what you are talking about"

JJ's voice raised slightly as she spoke "Oh, I think you do, since you seem to think she is a whore and in a sham marriage and that I am only after her money or because I feel sorry for her" she spat at him, he stepped back more opening the door "I think you best come in" JJ smirked slightly "What scared it will tarnish your reputation having someone shouting your family dirt outside?" JJ mocked as she walked into the hallway. "I have no clue what you have been told, but I can assure you that you are mistaken" he said trying to lie, JJ pulled the letter back out of her pocket "Oh I don't think for one second I am wrong, what right do you have to say this to her, she hasn't had anything to do with you in over 20 years and really I don't blame her, but what type of sick perverted man tells his own flesh and blood they should have been drowned at birth" JJ fired at him "It has nothing to do with you young lady"

JJ couldn't help but laugh "That would be where you are wrong it has everything to do with me, because not only have you insulted my wife my children, you had the audacity to insult me without ever laying eyes on me so it has everything to do with me" Richard glared at her for a moment "She is ten times the person you will ever be, she is stronger than you could ever be, you couldn't even gather up enough balls to tell her this to her face, you had to further torcher her more by writing a pathetic letter showing her faults, which also begs the question that these are truly your faults not hers" "This is between me and Emily no one else" Richard said again "Oh, your right but it also has to do with me and Sarah and my children and to which you will never see any of them again" JJ threaten "You cannot stop me from seeing Sarah" he mocked slightly "Well when she sees this I doubt she will want anything to do with you " JJ glared "You have no idea who you are dealing with little miss" he said in a patronizing voice, JJ raised an eyebrow as her hand rested on her gun "Let me spell this out for you, YOU come near me or my family or even try and contact any of them I can and will make sure you don't and never did exist because no one would miss such a disgusting excuses for a human being"

Richard hadn't seen where JJ's hand was resting as he laughed at her "You and whose army" he dared to push, causing JJ to pull her gun out "Who says I need an army" his face paled as he looked at the gun in her hand he eyes falling back on her face again, JJ looked at him with a sly grin "And I never miss a target" JJ nearly laughed when she looked down seeing the pool of water that was gathering around his feet she just looked straight back into his eyes as she glared "So you won't contact or come near my family again and I also suggest you pack the hell up and get the fuck out of my city" she threatened him "You wouldn't" he said in shock, JJ pointed the gun straight between his eyes "Are you sure you want to test that little theory of yours?" she smirked slyly at him as he gulped loudly "I didn't think so, I will give you till the end of the month, if I come back and you are still here, believe me when I say no one would ever find your body am I understood" the eerie calm that came from JJ voice made him panic slightly as he nodded, the colour complete drained from his face "I am so glad you see it my way" she smirked as she started to back out of the front door as she let another warning fly out "Don't be here when I come back or you would breath long enough to see Christmas"

JJ made her way back towards Morgan as all the anger had left her body by the time she got in "How did it go" JJ smirked not wanting to fully explain or say what she had told him "I think he got the message" she said with a slight wink.


	97. Chapter 97

**Chapter 97**

Garcia closed the door walking back into the kitchen where Sarah and Adam were "Do you want a coffee Garcia?" Sarah asked as she handed Adam his cup "Please" Garcia gave a soft smile as she sat down "Do you know what is going on Garcia?" Garcia shook her head slightly "No I don't" Garcia never could tell lies and right now even though she knew where JJ had gone, but she was glad that Sarah didn't know her that well.

Over the past hour then exchanged small talk, Sarah told her all about her trips up to New York and how college was going, Sarah paused for a moment "Garcia, what happened on the last case?" Garcia closed her eyes slightly, "Your mom and Reid went undercover, their cover got blown, your mom said she was the only FBI agent in there and Reid had to pretend he wasn't, she took a bad beating and they were held for three days" Sarah looked at her "Shit, mom's okay isn't she?" Garcia smiled softly "As far as I know she is a little black and blue and sore but other than that she's okay"

The longer JJ and Morgan were the more worried Garcia became, though the noise from upstairs pulled all of them from their own thoughts. "Jen?" Emily called out softly, her head was pounding, the pain from her ribs had woken her as she moved in the bed, Emily slowly got out of the bed once she had noticed JJ wasn't next to her as she carefully made her way along the landing "Jennifer?" Sarah heard her voice get closer as she called back "Mom, you okay?" Emily frowned slightly at the sound of her daughters voice, Garcia cringed it was one thing being able to lie to Sarah but Emily would be able to see straight through her. "Sarah? What are you doing here?" Emily said as she made her way down the stairs "I heard you got into a fight" Sarah smirked slightly until she saw her face "Bloody hell mom" she gasped, hey eyes looked more like pandas eyes, deep black rings around them, and then fully seeing the blackness on the side of her cheek "You want some pain killers mom?" Sarah asked as she looked slightly in shook before turning to look at Garcia, "You didn't say she had panda eyes" Sarah glared slightly, Garcia chuckled "JJ took her straight home"

Emily frowned slightly as she heard Garcia's voice "Garcia what are you doing here and where is Jennifer?" Emily said as she came fully into the room, "She nipped out mom with Morgan" Sarah said with a slight shrug "what? Garcia?" Emily stared at her slightly "Where have they gone?" Garcia bit the inside of her lip as she tried to sound convincing "I don't know" Emily closed her eyes slightly "Garcia I will ask you again, where is Jennifer?" Garcia looked away before answering "She went out with Morgan, she shouldn't be too long" Emily gave her the bullshit look before speaking "So as much as I love you Garcia, what are you doing here?" Emily closed her eyes slightly as Sarah cut in "You want your pain killers Mom and maybe a coffee?" Sarah asked hoping to pull her mom's attention, "Fine, but I know something is going on and one of you better start explaining"

JJ and Morgan pulled up into the driveway "You're not going to tell me are you?" Morgan asked before they got out, JJ laughed slightly "I don't think you really want to know Morgan" she said with a smirk as she got out the car, as they opened the front door trying not to make much noise as Morgan closed the door too "Sarah can I have a word please?" JJ called out softly as they walked down the hallway only to be greeted by Emily, JJ's smiled softly "Hey baby, you okay?" JJ asked softly "Where have you both been and should I be worried?" Emily asked. Morgan ducked slightly as he made his way past not meeting Emily's gaze.

"Jennifer, where have you been?" Emily asked again as JJ walked up to her wrapping her arms around her as she whispered softly "Just making a problem go away" she kissed her cheek before looking straight into her eyes "What problem?" JJ winked as the smile hit her eyes "There is no problem anymore baby, I promise" Emily frowned slightly "Then why are Morgan and Garcia here not to mention Sarah and Adam?" Emily asked with some concern "Sarah is here because I asked them both to come, didn't want you to wake up and be alone" Emily raised her eyebrow slightly "And Morgan brought Garcia around because she was worried about you" JJ smiled softly hoping that Emily wouldn't ask any more questions "So where did you to go?" Emily asked again JJ shook her head "Sweetheart stop worrying, please" JJ said as she cupped her cheek "I asked him to come out with me for a while, while I sorted something out, you don't need to know anymore" JJ didn't give Emily a chance to ask anymore as she took hold of her hand leading her back into the sitting room.

"Mom I got your pain killers here" Sarah said softly as she came back out of the kitchen "Everything okay?" Sarah asked as she spotted JJ and Morgan "Everything is fine Sarah, Em let's get you back to bed since those pain killers knock you out" JJ said with a slight smirk as she took the tablets and water off Sarah, Emily nodded and said goodnight to them all knowing that she wasn't going to get anything out of JJ, Emily got back into bed as JJ sat down beside her running her fingers through her hair "You are so sexy, but I like the not black and blue look even better" JJ joked slightly as she lowered her head pulling Emily into a soft loving kiss "You get some rest baby, I will be up soon" JJ said softly as Emily just looked at her for a moment "You might as well tell them all to stay its late Jen and we all have to be in work for nine" Emily said as she closed her eyes "I will darling you just rest" JJ waited a few moments until she knew Emily was asleep before making her way back downstairs.

JJ walked into the kitchen making herself a coffee before heading back into the sitting room "Emily said you might as well stay since we have to be in for nine in the morning" they both nodded as Garcia spoke softly "JJ are you going to tell us what the hell is going on?" she asked as JJ looked at Sarah "I will but first I need to talk to Sarah" Sarah frowned slightly "Ma what on earth has happened?" Sarah asked, JJ took hold of Sarah's hand "Just come with me sweetie" she said softly as she lead Sarah into the dining room.

"Ma?" Sarah said softly as JJ closed the door, JJ took a breath before looking at Sarah "Sit down Sarah and I will explain" Sarah nodded as she sat, JJ taking the seat next to her taking hold of Sarah's hand she smiled lovingly at her "Now I am going to show you something and I don't want you to get upset or fly off the handle, and I would prefer you didn't tell your mom" JJ said softly "Is this something I need to promise?" Sarah said with a slight smirk "The only part I want you to promise is you won't tell your Mom" JJ said with a pointed look "Okay, I promise" Sarah half smiled as JJ pulled out the letter from her pocket handing it to Sarah "What's this Ma?" JJ placed it in front of her "Just read it Sarah" JJ said softly as she kept hold of one of her hands.

Sarah sat in shock as she read the letter, tears started rolling down her face as the anger built up inside her, JJ placed her hand softly on Sarah cheek wiping away the tears "How could" she stuttered out "I don't know sweetheart" JJ said calmly as Sarah continued reading the letter, Sarah's body shook in anger and hurt as the words spun around in her head, JJ rubbed her back gently "I thought… how could he…" Sarah said in-between the sobs that ripped from her throat "I wish I had the answers Sarah" JJ said softly as she tried to calm her down slightly "I feel sick" Sarah said weakly as she looked at JJ.

JJ nodded as she wrapped her arms around her pulling her close "Sweetheart I want you to understand one thing, your mom never wanted to get rid of you, she loves you so much, and I personally wouldn't swap you or your brother and sister for the world, you are my children so do not think for a moment you wasn't wanted because you have always been and always will be wanted darling" JJ whispered in her ear. Sarah nodded, "I thought he loved me Ma, he's my granddad for god's sake" Sarah said in a slightly raised voice "I think in some sense he does" JJ kissed Sarah's head as she spoke "I can see why mom doesn't want anything to do with him" JJ chuckled "Sarah I know I can't control your life or what you do with it, but I would like to make a request" JJ said in a slightly firm voice "Go on?" Sarah pushed "I think I can speak for your mother when I say this, we'd rather you had nothing to do with him" Sarah couldn't help but giggle at what JJ had said "Ma I never want to see him again, but" she paused pulling away from JJ slightly "I would like some answers" she admitted.

JJ ran her fingers through Sarah's hair tucking the loose strands behind her ears "I don't think he will give you any Sarah if I am honest, but like I have said I can't stop you, but I also would rather you didn't see him because I don't want you to hurt or upset" Sarah nodded before her eyes went slightly wide "Ma where exactly did you and Morgan go?" JJ laughed slightly "Let's just say I had to make sure someone leaves town" she said with a slight smirk "Ma you didn't" JJ didn't answer ask she spoke "Come on I think you could use a drink" JJ said softly as she got up.


	98. Chapter 98

**Chapter 98**

Two days had passed since JJ had turned up on Richard doorstep, and JJ was already marking the days off on her calendar at work, she couldn't help but laugh as she remembered what had happened when he saw the gun **'I can't believe he pissed himself' **she thought to herself as she chuckled. Hotch stood in the doorway watching her work as he softly spoke "JJ I hope you're not laughing at the crime scenes or I might have to get you to see our resident shrink" JJ looked at him with the smirk still across her face "No, just thinking about something, did you need me for something?" she asked knowing Hotch only came in when something had come up "I was just coming to see how everything is" he said as he looked out over the bullpen towards Emily "Everything is fine" she said with a smile Hotch nodded "JJ you know my door is always open to either of you be it on a work related matter or personal matter" he said softly "I know, but I can assure you both are fine" she replied as she looked back down at the case file.

Emily was working on the consults that were piled on her desk as she looked across to Morgan and Reid "Why do I feel like JJ always gives me more paper work than you guys?" she said with a slight smirk "Best she loves us more" Morgan joked, Emily laughed "You wish Morgan" she replied with a slight laugh.

Just as her personal phone began to ring, Emily let out a sigh as she looked at the caller id "Prentiss" she answered with a laugh "I am fully aware who you are since I rung you" Emily couldn't help but laugh more "When did you get back mother?" Emily smiled into the phone as both Reid and Morgan sniggered "Today and I need you and Jennifer to come to a function this weekend, that's if you're not away on a case?" Elizabeth asked "I will have to let you know Mom and I will ask Jennifer" Emily said with a slight smile "I will see you both tonight, can you make sure my grandchildren are still up for me please" "Of course I will Sarah is staying at mine right now so your more than welcome to stay" Emily said as her mother agreed before hanging up.

"Sarah's still at yours?" Morgan asked "yes, she hasn't been home since the other night" Emily said with a slight shrug "does that mean Adam is still there?" he asked carefully, no one had told Emily what really happened the other night.

Emily shook her head slightly "he had to go out of town for a few days" Morgan couldn't help but smirk "so you like the kid now then?" Emily smiled softly "He has grown on me, as long as my daughter is happy then I am" Emily said before looking up to JJ's office "I guess I better let the JJ know that Mother is coming round tonight" Emily said with a slight sigh "Good luck" Morgan smirked. Emily laughed slightly as she got up making her way up to JJs office, she knocked on the door before popping her head in.

JJ smiled "Please tell me you have nearly finished some of them consults Em" JJ said softly as Emily walked in "Half way through them, though it would help if someone wouldn't give me so much paper work" she said jokingly, JJ laughed slightly "Okay so what do I owe the pleasure of this visit then, or have you just come to bitch about your paperwork" JJ joked as Emily closed the door too, "No, it's a personal matter" Emily said with a slight wink "Go on, what's happened now?" JJ asked closing her eyes slightly "Why do you assume something has happened?" "Because I know my wife and I know our children" JJ said with a slight laugh "Mom is coming around tonight and she wants us to go to some function this weekend unless we have a case" Emily said softly "That sounds fine, hang on does this mean we need new clothes" JJ said as she closed her eyes slightly "Not sure guess we will find out later" Emily said before turning to head out the door.

Later that day as JJ drove them both home, she was thankful to be the one driving as she spoke knowing what Emily's reaction maybe "I think you need to tell your mother about the letter" JJ said firmly "Hell no she doesn't need to know" Emily fired back as she looked at her wife in shock "Emily give me one good reason why not" Emily stared at her with her mouth open "It has nothing to do with her" Emily said in a slightly raised voice, causing JJ to take her attention of the road to look at Emily "Yes it does Emily, she is your mother and you're her daughter, I think I'd like to know if someone had said things like that to our children don't you?" Emily sighed softly "Yes I would want to know" in all honesty Emily knew JJ was right but Emily just didn't want to say anything in front of Sarah.

JJ pulled into the driveway, she turned to look at Emily "baby we will tell her together and we can give her the letter, okay" she spoke carefully as Emily opened her mouth "Not in front of Sarah, Sarah is upset enough right now and the last thing I want is for her to know is that her grandfather never wanted her" Emily said sadly.

Both Sarah and JJ had kept the events and the conversations about the other night to themselves, but JJ knew she would have to tell Emily soon though she thought Emily already had an idea of what JJ had done. "Emily you can't protect her forever, she is a grown woman and she can make her own decision regarding this" JJ said as she gave Emily a pointedly look.

With that said they both walked into the house, only to be greeted with a very hyper active Sarah and Isabella looking slightly harassed "What on earth is going on?" Emily asked as Sarah threw her arms around JJ tightly, causing JJ to look at her suspiciously "And do we even want to know" JJ said looking at Emily.

Isabella looked at them "Sarah es más loco que cuando ella era joven" causing Emily to laugh as she spoke "Sí, pero también creo que tal vez algo peor" Isabella smiled softly "Los niños están en la sala de juegos con su madre" Emily nodded slightly "Muchas gracias" JJ rolled her eyes slightly "I wish you would talk in English lady's" JJ said with a smirk just as Sarah piped up "Thing is Ma they forget that I understand every word they are saying" she said smugly.

Once Isabella had left, they made their way into the back room, only to find Elizabeth on the floor with the children, Emily and JJ exchanged a looking smile "Hi mom" Emily said as they closed the door to keep the warmth in "Hello Emily, Jennifer" Elizabeth smiled at them both before turning her attention back to her grandchildren "They have grown so much since I've been away" Elizabeth said softly as she tickled Morgan. JJ looked at the time as she turned and looked at Sarah "Sarah can you order us all something to eat" Sarah smiled "Sure where from though?" JJ laughed as she looked at Emily "The restaurant, I am guessing Elizabeth hasn't eaten since landing" JJ said as she smiled at her mother-in-law "And it's a heck of a lot cheaper" Emily joked. Elizabeth looked at them both "Don't you mean it's better because it's free?" Emily couldn't help but laugh as Sarah commented "That is always a plus side to it Grandma" as she left to order their food.

JJ bent down picking Jane up from the play mat "Momma's missed you" she said softly as she placed a soft kiss on her cheek. Emily smiled at them as she sat down on the sofa, "How long have you been here mom?" Emily asked once she had got comfy "A few hours, I see the bruising is going down" Elizabeth commented as she looked at Emily "Yes it is, I take it Sarah told you what happened" "She did, but it would have been nice if one of you two had told me" Elizabeth pointed out "Sorry, we have had a lot go on the past few days" JJ said as she passed Jane to Emily.

Sarah walked back in holding two bottles of milk "Do you want these warming up mom?" Sarah asked as Morgan started to fuss "Please Sarah" "What has happened?" Elizabeth asked as she looked at them both "I promise I will tell you mom once these two are in bed" "Em, I will go and set the table for us while you and Elizabeth feed these two" JJ smiled as she got up placing a kiss on Emily cheek "Thanks Jen"

JJ walked into the kitchen to speak to Sarah "I have told your mom she has to tell you both about the letter" Sarah nodded as she waited for the bottles to warm "Ma is she okay, I mean I know she never" JJ smiled as she cut in "She will be fine, she is hurt and upset but she will be, that I promise you" "Are you going to tell us what you did?" JJ laughed "I think I better had before your Grandmother does something" JJ said "I best get these to mom, do you need a hand?" JJ nodded "Only if you want to Sarah" JJ smiled as she made her way into the dining room.

Once the twins were asleep in bed they all sat around the table waiting for the food to arrive "Anyone want a glass of wine" JJ asked just as the doorbell rung "Please Jen" Emily said as she moved to get the door "Jennifer is Emily alright?" Elizabeth asked once Emily was out of ear shot "She will be, just let her explain please" JJ said, JJ had known that once Elizabeth had seen Emily, she would know there was something wrong aside from the bruising Emily had got, she had lost a bit of weight over the past few weeks, from not eating and hardly sleeping and no amount of bruising could hide that.

Emily walked back in holding the box that held their meal, as JJ and Emily dished the food out Emily passed Elizabeth the letter "Mom please don't fly off the handle when you read that" Emily said with a sad smile, Elizabeth took the letter off Emily placing in next to her as she took the plate off JJ "Let us eat first before I read this" she replied with a soft smile.

Emily had been quite through most of the meal with Sarah and JJ making small talk with Elizabeth, Emily filled the wine glass up as they all finished eating "I'll clear the plates Emily" JJ said as she placed her hand on Emily's shoulder, Emily sighed softly "thanks" in all honesty JJ just wanted to give the three of them some privacy as she knew fireworks would soon be flying around the room.

Emily kept her eyes down cast as her mother began to read the letter, Emily knew the look on her face as she looked at her daughter "WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS" Elizabeth shouted as she throw the letter down, JJ walked carefully back into the dining room standing behind Emily with her hands on her shoulders for support "That evil callous excuses of a man" Elizabeth continued to rant "I am personal going to wipe him from the face of the earth" she threaten, causing JJ to laugh slightly.

"Have you read this Jennifer" Elizabeth glared dangerously at her "Oh yes I have read it and so has Sarah" JJ said earning a gasp from Emily "Sarah" Emily said softly "It's okay Mom, though I now know why you hate him so much" Emily shook her head slightly. Elizabeth pulled her phone out of her purse as JJ interrupted "What are you doing Elizabeth?" JJ asked looking at her "I am going to give this sorry excuse of an ex-husband of mine a piece of my mind and then some"

"Elizabeth, with all due respect, I wouldn't" JJ said very carefully "And why the hell not? that is my daughter my grandchildren and also I may point out he has brought you into his nasty little mind games" Elizabeth said in anger, JJ moved away from Emily as she closed the door to the dining room "I am fully aware of that Elizabeth but I can also assure you it has been dealt with, I for one will not allow anyone, be it a member of mine or Emily family to insult are berate my wife or my children" JJ said firmly as Emily then glared at her

"Jennifer, what exactly have you done?" Emily asked as she looked at a very smug looking JJ "I have told you before Emily no one and I mean no one upsets the people I love let alone my wife and children" Elizabeth looked at her in shock as Emily spoke "Please tell me you didn't kill him Jen" JJ laugh "No, well not yet anyway" JJ smirked as she looked at Sarah "So that's where you went the other night?" Sarah asked as she looked at her Mom.

"Yes and I will also stand by my actions but I can also assure each one of you I have dealt with the problem and I am also very sure he won't dare to contact any of us again" Elizabeth laughed "Jennifer not much frightens him" JJ smiled slyly at her mother-in-law "I got that impression as well until I pointed my gun between his eyes" all three of them gasped in shock "Jennifer!" Emily said in disbelief "What exactly have you done and don't say nothing this time" "Would you like to know it word for word or the short-handed version?" JJ asked with a slight laugh.

JJ for one couldn't believe it she had never seen the three of them so quite let alone in so much shock as she spoke as Emily spoke "Just what we really need to know please Jennifer" Emily said, Emily had known JJ had done something but she had been waiting for JJ to tell her, but she had no idea just how far her wife was willing to go, for her or their family.

"Well I have informed him to stay away from our family, then I told him to get out of our city within a month and then I may have told him, that if he was still here at the end of the month, he wouldn't be breathing come Christmas" JJ said carefully as Elizabeth burst out laughing "Christ Ma, I knew you had a mean streak but"

JJ shook her head slightly "There is only a few things that send me over the edge and that is people who abuse or kill children, those who hurt my family and if anyone try's to hurt our family, I will not tolerate it one little bit, you do what you need to do in order to protect the ones you love and if that involves making a grown man piss his pants, then I will do it" JJ said firmly as Emily still looked at her in disbelief.

Emily looked at her wife for a moment as she spoke softly "And people wonder why I say its my wife you have to watch not me" JJ couldn't help but laugh as she looked at Emily "No darling it's just people haven't seen my temper" Emily looked at Elizabeth "Her temper is worse than mine Mom" Emily admit as Elizabeth tried to control the laughter "You are defiantly a Prentiss, Jennifer" JJ smiled at her before looking at Sarah "You okay sweetie" JJ asked calmly as Sarah just looked at her "Remind me never to cross you Ma" she said slightly in shock, JJ smiled "sweetie you could commit murder and I would still love you, though I would never recommend anyone doing that" JJ smirked

***As always translations are from Babylon***

**Sarah is more crazy than when she was younger**

**Yes but I also think she may be worse. **

**The children are in the play room with your Mother**

**Thank you**


	99. Chapter 99

**Chapter 99**

**A haunted Past**

JJ had so far given Richard three weeks to get out and until he was far enough away from her family she couldn't fully settle, so taking it back into her hands she rung Garcia to ask her to do some digging.

"Hey Pen" JJ said softly as her friend answered "Hey there my sexy little kitten" Garcia greeted causing JJ to laugh as she tired to speak "Never let Emily hear you call me that" JJ joked "So what do I owe this pleasure?" she chirped back at JJ, she sighed softly "I need a favour" she said "Is all not well in the love nest?" Garcia asked with a slight worried tone "Everything is fine here, look Pen I need you to look a few things up for me, just to put my mind at rest, please" JJ asked

Garcia frowned slightly as JJ continued "I want you to see if there has been any movement from a certin person we all share a mutual disgust for" JJ said with a slight smile "That will be my pleasure, Jayj is Emily okay? I mean I know she seems fine at work but we all know how guarded she is" Garcia asked "She's getting there, it hurts Pen, he's her father for god's sake, I don't know how I would feel in my dad said those things to me or about my family" she said though her tone conveyed the sadness and worry she felt for Emily. "Let me get back to you after my snooping has been done" Garcia said happily "Thanks Pen" JJ said cutting off the phone.

"Who was the Jen?" Emily asked as she walked into the kitchen wrapping her arms around JJ pulling her close "Mmm, just Garcia" JJ smiled as she leaned into her "What did she want" Emily asked softly ask she placed a soft kiss onto JJ neck causing her to shiver slightly "Just to have a chat and check up on us" JJ said with a slight moan.

"Where are the twins" JJ asked as Emily hands snaked under her blouse "Sleeping, I've just given them their bottle" Emily smiled as she nipped her pulse point causing JJ to moan loudly "Sarah?" "Out with Adam, before he leaves town for a few days" Emily said as her fingers ran up JJ's torso "Mmm, I've missed this" JJ admitted softly as Emily fingers ran along the outline of her breast causing the fabric to rub slightly "I can tell" Emily smirked as her finger ghosted over her already taut nipple "Where's Isabella?" JJ said as she turned slightly in Emily's arms "I sent her shopping" Emily said as she caught JJ's lips with her own pulling her into a soft kiss.

JJ moaned into the kiss running her tongue over her bottom lip begging for entrance, which Emily all to gladly gave, their tongues met causing them both to moan as they deepened it, Emily snaked her hand around the back unclipping the offending bra before bringing her finger back to twist the taut nipple gently, causing JJ to moan.

As the need for air got the better of them they pulled away slightly breathless, JJ looked in to loving brown eyes that had life back in them "God, Emily" she said in a hushed voice, as Emily's mouth found her pulse point sucking gently as she carried on kneading her breast, JJ hand grasped Emily's hair pulling her closer as she moaned, her knees going slight weak as Emily continued.

Pushing her back slightly so she was against the breakfast table, lifting her up slightly as she carefully unzipped her pants, JJ hips bucked slightly feeling her fingers ghost against her skin "Please Emily" JJ begged, it had been too long that she had felt her like this. As Emily gently pulled her pants off her hand not breaking contact at it assaulted her breast. As a loud moan, ripped from her throat.

Emily loved to hear her moan as she carried on with her path to where she wanted to be and were JJ was needing her, JJ curled her fingers in Emily's hair as her mouth started to trail down her body "Don't tease" JJ warned as she was already on the brink "Your wish" Emily smirked as she managed to settle between her legs.

Emily blew cool air over her core before her tongue feathered over her folds teasingly, JJ moaned louder, her body highly attuned and aroused as she felt a tongue run up the full length of her core, Emily smiled and moan as she breathed in the smell of her arousal gently coxing her clit from the hood as her tongue ghosted over it before gently taking it between her lips.

JJ gasped her fingers tangling in the brunettes hair, causing her to look up which intern caused her to moan before settling back between her legs, JJ was flushed with arousal as she moaned loudly she already close to her climax "Yes, Emily, yes" she almost chanted as Emily dipped her tongue into her core, before returning back to sucking and nipping on her clit, slowly and gently Emily ran her finger through her folds her mouth never breaking contact she eased two fingers in to her centre as she gently pushed her in to her climax.

She waited for the waves of her climax to settle as she removed her fingers JJ moaned softly at the loss of contact as Emily trailed kisses up towards her lips pulling her into a passionate kiss running her tongue along JJ's lower lip to be allowed entry which JJ was all too willing to give, gently she pulled away when the need for air became too much for them she smiled softly into swirling blue eyes.

Emily groaned at the sound of JJ's phone ringing, JJ looked at her as she was still panting and shaking from her high as Emily smiled checking the caller id before answering "And what can I do for you my sweet friend" Emily smirked causing Garcia to look at her phone making sure she had rung the correct phone "Emily, why may I ask do you have JJ's phone" she teased "She's a little indisposed right now Garcia" Emily laughed as she looked at a very sedate JJ.

Garcia flustered slightly at the tone in Emily's voice "Please tell me you weren't in the middle of having sex?" Emily laughed as she answered "No not at all I had just finished" Garcia gasped in shock "Where is the real Emily Prentiss and what has you done with her wife" Garcia asked causing Emily to laugh and for JJ to take the phone out of her hand, as she rolled her eyes at Emily.

"Hey Pen, please ignore my wife" she said with a slight chuckle "I can ring back and leave my two love birds to it" Garcia said chirpily. "No your fine as Emily has already said you're fine" JJ said as she blushed slightly slapping Emily's hand away from her as she went to pick up her clothes giving her wife a pointed look, Emily smiled as she spoke "I'm just going to have a quick shower before the twins wake, JJ nodded closing the door.

"Sorry about that Pen" JJ said as she placed her phone on speaker so she could get her clothes back on "Oh hush, we are all adults" Garcia teased "Nice to see Emily has got her sense of humour back though" she added "I know Morgan will be pleased" JJ added as she picked her phone back up.

"Did you manage to find anything?" JJ asked as she sat down "His house went up for sale last week, and he seems to be moving all is assets out of the country" Garcia said happily "I will have a double check later" JJ replied "Can you keep track of him for me" she added "For you anything, JJ what exactly did you do to make him flee" JJ laughed "Honestly, you're better off not knowing, Pen I'm going to have to go someone just woke up" JJ said as she heard the soft cries coming from upstairs "Give them kisses from me" Garcia said as she hung up.

After changing both Morgan's and Jane's nappy Emily finally emerged from the bathroom smiling softly at her as she placed a soft kiss on her children "Feel better" JJ grinned "Much better, Jen you go and take your shower" Emily said as she pick Jane up "Thanks" JJ smiled as she stripped out of her clothes placing them in the basket

JJ walked downstairs 20 minutes later as she leaned over the couch placing a soft kiss on Emily's cheek "Penny for your thoughts" JJ chimed "Just thinking baby" Emily said softly "About?" "Do you really think he will leave?" JJ smiled "That's what Garcia rung me about I asked her to run a check on him, looks like his house is up for sale and he is in the middle of transferring his assets" JJ said softly, Emily sighed as she looked up at JJ "Can we go check for ourselves about the house?" Emily asked as she was slightly sceptical that he would leave "I was hoping you would say that" JJ smirked "How about we go for a little drive and take a look" JJ said softly as Emily nodded.

Later they pulled up onto his street and everything regarding the house was confirmed, as they started to head back Garcia rung "I have some more information" Garcia said as Emily answered the phone placing it on speaker "Go on Garcia" Emily answer "Oh, hi Emily, aren't you getting in the habit of answering JJ's phone" she teased "She's driving" Emily smirked "So what have you found out" JJ asked "I have double checked his financial records in order to find out where he is moving it too and it looks like he may have bought a house in Germany" Garcia said as Emily laughed "Well at least it's a start though that isn't far enough away" Emily said as she looked at JJ "Thanks Pen" JJ said as Emily cut the phone off.

JJ walked back into the bedroom to find Emily yet again staring into the mirror "Hmm I am so liking that look Mrs Prentiss" JJ said as she walked up behind her wife wrapping her arms around her naked waist, Emily laughed slightly "I am liking your look even better" she smiled looking into her wife's eyes. "Mmm" Emily moaned softly, as JJ pulled her closer against her skin "God you're so beautiful Jennifer" Emily smiled softly as she turned in her arms

"Youre not so bad yourself" Emily winked as she turned in her arms "I wish we could stay here all day, but we really need to get dressed" JJ pouted slightly as she looked at Emily "Can we not call in sick and carry this on all day?" JJ pouted as Emily extracted herself from JJ "I am not too sure Hotch would bye the excuse" Emily said with a slight laugh as she began to pull their work clothes out.

An hour later Emily pulled outside the BAU, she looked at her for a moment "I love you so much Jennifer" Emily said softly as she leaned over placing a softly kiss on her lips before getting out of the car.

Morgan and Reid were stood in the small kitchen as the both made their way in "Hey guys" JJ said happily as Emily pulled two mugs down to make them both a coffee "Morning ladies" Morgan grinned at them both, as Emily clipped him around the back of the head "You drank all the coffee!" she scowled at him causing Reid to laugh "I have a jar in my drawer Emily" Reid said kindly as Morgan rubbed the back of his head "Thanks Reid" JJ said as she looked at them both "Are you two going to behave yourselves today?" JJ asked as she raised her eyebrows at them both "As always" Morgan smirked as he pushed Emily.

JJ shook her head before walking off into her office "Reid can you bring it up to me please and good luck around them two today" she said softly, Reid nodded as he looked at Emily and Morgan messing around in the kitchen "You wouldn't think they were older than us both would you" JJ laughed "They may be older in years but in maturity it will never happen" JJ joked before heading up to her office.

By 10am everyone had settled down as they waited for Hotch in the conference room JJ frowned slightly as she waited for him "JJ do you know what is going on?" Morgan asked "No clue, I think the case must have gone straight to Hotch because nothing has come across my desk" JJ admitted just as Hotch and Rossi walked in.

Hotch looked at JJ for a moment before he spoke "We can look at the case files when we get on the jet" JJ frowned "Where are we going?" JJ asked as everyone started to get up from their seats "Monroeville" Hotch said as JJ began to pale slightly.

Emily popped her head around JJ's door as she smiled softly, before her face worried slightly at the look of a slightly paled JJ "Jen what's wrong?" Emily asked as she made her way further into her office.

"Monroeville, is the town next to mine when I was growing up Em, Just one place I never wanted to go back to, that's all" JJ said with a slight smile, Emily walked over to her wrapping her arms around her "Just think of it like any other case we have, and if it drags out a few days maybe we can ask Hotch if we can make our own way back and go see your mom and dad" Emily said as JJ smiled slightly "Thanks Em, guess we better get moving.


	100. Chapter 100

**Chapter 100**

JJ sat across from Emily as they all unclipped the belts since the jet was in the air, though she was looking at Emily as her heart sunk more as she retreated more into herself. JJ hadn't been back to either town in over 10years, once she had left she had never gone back, it stirred up too many memories for her though some where happy ones the last few years of her life there were miserable to say the least.

They all gathered in the middle of the jet as Hotch passed the files around to each of them, "Five young teenagers have gone missing while camping in the woods" Morgan looked over the file as he spoke "That was 5 days ago and we are only just being called in?" Morgan said "No one had noticed until they didn't return two days ago" Hotch said "That's not going to help" Rossi mumbled.

"Jody Roswell, Amanda Harris, Jonathan and Paul Rogers both brothers and Mitchel Jones, we will need to hit the ground running as we have already lost a lot of time, "Has there ever been anything like this in the area?" Reid asked as her re-read the file "No but I have got Garcia running checks over the last five years, also she is running backgrounds on them now" Hotch answered.

Within a few hours the jet had landed, "We will all go straight to the station" Hotch said "Emily, Morgan can you go two the last place they were seen" Emily looked at Morgan "I doubt we will find anything" Morgan said with a sigh as he and Emily walked to their car "true but it can't help to look" she smiled

There wasn't much to be found at the site, but there were signs of a struggle and clear drag marks, Emily snapped a few pictures with her phone, as she looked over at the clearing "What's that over there?" Emily asked as she looked at the building in the distance. "Doesn't look like a house, might just be a small holding" Morgan smirk "We are kind of in the middle of a field princess" he joked. "I can't say I had noticed" Emily said rolling her eyes slightly "Lets head back there's nothing here" Morgan said as they started to head back to their car.

Emily and Morgan walked back into the station as the local pointed to the room they were using "Thanks" Emily said as they made their way through. Hotch spotted them both as the rest of them were busy placing the pictures of the five missing on the board "Anything?" he asked as Morgan shook his head "There are signs of a struggle and drag marks" Morgan said as Emily cut in "But since we are looking for teenagers it could just be they were rough-housing" as they all nodded

"Garcia managed to get any information on them?" Emily asked as she walked over to where Reid was "Yes" Reid said handing her the print out, Morgan looked at the print out on the table "Could they not have just gone somewhere else?" Morgan mused causing Emily to glare at him slightly as she looked at the information

"I very much doubt it, look at their backgrounds" Emily pointed out "Both Jody Roswell, Amanda Harris are on the school soccer team and by the looks of this their team is doing really well this year" Morgan looked at her for a moment "True but they went camping with three boys Emily" Emily sniggered slightly knowing what and where Morgan thoughts were, she shook her head as she rolled her eyes at him.

"Jonathan and Paul Rogers both brothers and Mitchel Jones, are on the school athletic team and looks like they have got some important events coming up with hope of scholarships" Emily pointed out "And not kid would mess a chance like that up for anything" JJ comment as she walked back in looking more than pissed

"This is why I hate small towns" JJ said as she sits down "Why's that?" Reid asked innocently "Because nothing can be kept quiet for too long the second something happens everyone knows, and since the press have already given this guy a name" she rolled her eyes "Which I hope they took my warning not to do that" she shook her head slightly "Anyway" JJ said slightly calmer after her short rant.

"Give me some sugar honey" Garcia answered as Morgan laughed "your sweet enough for me baby girl" "Hi Garcia" Emily said slightly amused "What have you got for us?" Hotch asked as he let a rare smile ghost his lips.

"Well I ran that search you asked for" Garcia paused slightly "What did you find?" Emily asked "Well Prentiss, strange things really, it seems there have been quite a few homicides over the past five years" JJ frowned slightly "Involving kids?" JJ asked.

"No, now here is the strange thing, first it looks like someone is just killing animals" Morgan cut in "Animals?" "Well if you let me finish" Garcia chirped "It would seem the owners of these animals have also gone missing" Emily frowned slightly "Garcia what does this have to do with teenagers?" Emily said shaking her head slightly.

"If you and Morgan would let me finish I am getting there" Garcia said in a somewhat firm voice "The victims ages decrease each time, but they are all in the surrounding areas, I have emailed you the info that I have found" she paused slightly "They don't have a lot of crime in that area and they have just marked them all as missing" "thanks Garcia" Emily said as Morgan hung up.


	101. Chapter 101

**Chapter 101**

Reid and Emily were left to work on the profile with the information they had got while the rest of the team went to interview the families to gain some background on the teenagers.

Emily stared at the information Garcia had gathered for them as she lined pictures of the missing men and women placing the picture of the animals that belonged to them, she stood there for a moment in her own thoughts as Reid walked over to her "Do you have something?" he asked as Emily tilted her head slightly.

"If you were to look at these what would you think?" Reid paused for a moment "The people?" Reid questioned trying to get on the same path that Emily's thoughts were taking her. "No the animals well dogs to be exact" Emily said as she moved some of the picture's around so they were in order.

"It isn't that hard to kill a dog Emily?" Reid said with a puzzled look on his face as Emily picked her phone up "What can the all-seeing do for you Emster?" Garcia said as Emily raised her eyebrow "Aside from never calling me that you mean?" Emily joked "Can you pull the financial records of the people who have been reported missing?" "I shall hit you back in a few my love bug" Emily rolled her eyes as Garcia hung up "Everything okay?" Reid asked seeing the expression on Emily's face "Just Garcia being well Garcia" Reid laughed slightly seeing Emily blush slightly.

Morgan and Rossi pulled up outside the house of Jody Roswell, the house was in a nice area very well kept they noticed as they walked up the path, Morgan knocked on the door slightly, Ms Roswell opened the door slightly, Rossi noticed that she couldn't have been sleeping much her eyes were red as Morgan spoke soft but firmly

"Ma'am I am SSA Derek Morgan and this is SSA David Rossi, would you mind if we came in and talk to you for a while?" Morgan said as he smiled kindly at her as they showed her their identification. She opened the door after looking closely at their id "Come in" her voice was weak and sad as she spoke again "Is there any news?" she asked as she motioned for them to sit.

"Not yet Ma'am" Rossi said as she spoke again "Please call me Ann" her voice was filled with worry as she spoke , Rossi nodded as he spoke again "We were hoping you would be able to tell us about the day they went camping and also if this was something they normally do?" Rossi asked as Ann smiled slightly.

"They had planned it for months they have all gone camping before very year before the soccer season starts" Morgan nodded as he spoke "How long have they been going, and is it always the same friends she goes with?" Ann sighed softly "They have been going camping for the past four years, but this is the first year it was just them" Rossi frowned slightly "Who else normally went?" he asked.

"They use to go with Kevin and Andrea Jones, Mitchel's older brother and sister, but they left for college so this was the first year they had been on their own" she said softly they both nodded "Did they camp where they always had?" Morgan asked as Ann shook her head slightly "There has been a big rally in town this year due to the boys football team getting into the play offs, and they just wanted to get away from it all, they are a good bunch of kids" Ann said as she looked straight at Rossi "Please find my baby" she said as the tears welled in her eyes, Rossi reached over an squeezed her hand "We will let you know as soon as we have any information" she nodded knowing he wasn't going to be able to promise.

Hotch and JJ had much the same result from speaking to Amanda Harris's Mother, before carrying on to speak to the parents of the three boys, JJ looked at Hotch for a moment "This doesn't make sense Hotch" she said softly as she mulled over what they had been told "They are good kids, never been in any type of trouble before, they stayed very much together, hanging together, but the only thing that seems to have been different is where they went camping this year?" JJ said as Hotch pulled up outside the home of Jonathan and Paul Rogers "Let's see if we can get anything different out of Ms Rogers, I got the feeling Ms Harris was holding something back" he said as they stepped out the car.

Reid and Emily had made some headway with the missing victims, Garcia had rung to inform them that there had been no movement from their bank accounts which was very strange "No one can live without money and none of them were short of money" Emily said as she studied the board "Maybe they got jobs which paid cash" Reid added.

To which Emily gave him a very sceptical look "Reid, you want me to believe that these 10 missing people all left and went and got jobs which paid cash, leaving no paper trail and no forwarding address, no phone calls to their family, because let's face it the possibilities of them all doing the same thing is highly unlikely" Emily said as Reid sighed "Good point"

"Emily that makes 2 disappearances a year" Emily nodded "I noticed Reid" she said with a slight snigger "No look two dogs killed, six months later their owners have disappeared" Reid added as he mentally connected the dots "I don't think he is working alone" Emily looked at him slightly puzzled "Reid it's not that hard to kill a dog" Emily pointed out "I know that, but if you look at the first dog there are hesitation marks and then there is the kill cut that is perfect" he frowned slightly pulling the photo down to get a better look "Maybe he thought he better put it out of his misery" Emily said as she looked at the mutilated animal. "It's not that, look at the direction of the cuts" he pointed out "Two people did this Emily" he affirmed "Reid get someone maybe a vet to look at it and see if your right first" Emily warned.

JJ faltered slightly as Ms Rogers opened the door "Jennifer?" JJ looked at her for a moment "Samantha!" she replied in slight shock before finding her bearings looking at Hotch who had raised his eyebrow slightly at her "This is SSA Hotchner, can we come in?" JJ said softly as she took in a deep breath. She nodded as she let them both in "Ma'am we are here" he paused when she cut him off "Do you have any news?" she asked looking straight at JJ "That's why we are here Samantha, we were hoping you'd be able to help us" JJ said softly "Have you spoken to" JJ cut her off slightly as she looked at Hotch.

"Ma'am is there any other information you can give us that may help?" Hotch asked after she had told them much the same as Ms Harris had. "Not really" "Were any of them dating?" JJ asked carefully as Ms Rogers smiled softly turning her attention onto JJ "Jody and Amanda were" she said softly "Do you know who they were seeing?" Hotch asked "They were in a relationship with each other" she replied as she smiled sadly at JJ as she added "Just like you and Carly were" JJ smiled softly back "Thank you" JJ said softly as Hotch stood up "If we hearing anything we will let you know" JJ said as Ms Rogers spoke softly "We've missed you Jen" JJ nodded before walking outside.

"JJ how do you know her" JJ smiled "We use to go to the same school growing up, I didn't know she had got married Hotch" JJ said as she looked out the window.


	102. Chapter 102

**Chapter 102**

They all met back at the station where Emily and Reid we what to JJ looked like pretty pattern's on the board as she spoke "I hope you two understand that" JJ said not really paying attention as she poured herself a coffee "We have a system" Reid said happily "Don't you two always have a system?" Hotch said as he walked over to the board.

"Can I ask why you have" Morgan stopped as Emily smiled "Because we are thinking it is all related, just go with us for a moment, I have asked Garcia to search further back as well so we are just waiting for her to ring but this is what we have so far" Emily said just as JJ's phone rung "I got to take this" she said heading straight back out the door.

"Andrew Roberts 35 missing 6 months after he found his dog had been killed" Emily said as she pinned some more information under the picture's

"Sandra Wills 31 missing 6 months after also finding her dog had been killed, both happened within two months of each other" Emily pointed out

"William Porter 30 missing a year later 6 months after he also found his dog dead" she paused slightly "Two months later the same thing with Julia Peters 26" Emily said as she looked to see if they were following their trail of thoughts.

"Matthew Johnson 20 missing family dog killed, same 6 months difference's parents reported him missing after he didn't come home one night" Emily circled his photo.

"And the last person reported missing with the same pattern is Susan Ellis 17" Emily looked at Reid as he took over.

"Now looking at this you would first think it was just coincidence but like Garcia found out their bank accounts have never been touched and since there cards have never been found we can only think that they had them with them" Morgan looked at them both "Not that hard if you want to disappear" he commented as Emily smiled "That's kind of what Reid said but, this is a small town nothing much happens and it is highly unlikely that these 10 people just disappeared without a trace" Emily pointed out.

"What does this have to do with the missing teenagers?" Rossi asked slightly puzzled "Oh I will let Reid explain this" Emily smirked

"At first glance they seemed unrelated but as I managed to point out to Emily there were two people who killed each of the dogs aside from the last two which the cuts were made by one person, human DNA were found on the first six animals which Garcia is running for us now as well as seeing if similar things like this have happened before"

"So let me get this straight, you are thinking they are all related because?" Emily chuckled slightly at Morgan as he spoke "The first few are as though a young adult did them but still unsure of how deep to cut until the last two animals, now Reid noticed this the cut that killed the first 6 were made by someone who is left handed but the hesitation cuts and the last two dogs that have been killed were all done by someone who is right handed" Emily said as she pointed to the blown up images of the animals.

"So how far back are you thinking?" Rossi asked as he looked at the pictures and information on the boards more closely "I have asked Garcia to go back at least 20 years, it can't be the first time this unsub has killed" Hotch cut in "You think he is what training someone?" he asked

"I think he is" Emily hand placed two blank pieces of paper up with the number one and two "This one is the left handed one, we are thinking he is the alpha and has done this before" Emily said before pointing at the other blank paper "And this unsub is younger maybe early 20's though his last two kills were effective enough the vets me and Reid spoke to said they were made by someone younger as the dogs didn't die straight away not enough force behind it and still had slight tells of hesitation near the final cut"

"I have been working on this map locations of where they lived and where they were last seen, their paths all crossed at some point within a few miles of where the kids were camping" Reid added

"Keep working at that, I think you maybe on to something" Hotch said just as JJ returned.

JJ eyes casted onto the board finally, as she looked at what Emily and Reid had come up with, she gasped slightly as she held on to the chair next to her "Why is there a picture of Carly up there?" JJ asked as she frowned slightly. As she then focused on Williams's picture.

Reid looked at her for a moment "Carly?" Reid asked slightly puzzled, Emily's eyes looked between JJ and the board as she spoke "JJ which one?" Emily said in a very soft tone "Sandra" JJ stepped back slightly and I know him as well" JJ said as her voice wavered slightly "Who" Emily pushed slightly "William" JJ said in a hushed voice as her legs shook.

"JJ, how do you know these people?" Hotch asked as he had already heard Ms Rogers mention her before, JJ sighed as her eyes fixed solely on Emily as she spoke "Carly and me grew up together and as you may have guessed from earlier Hotch we were dating, William was on the athletics team at our school as well" JJ said softly.

"So they moved here?" Reid asked as Emily approached JJ "Jen" she said softly resting her hand on her shoulder "They left town, but I didn't know they had moved here" JJ said as tears formed in her eyes. Hotch nodded as Morgan handed her a tissue "Thanks" she said with a soft but sad smile.

"Is there anything you can tell us about them, which might help?" Rossi asked "Not really, I haven't seen them in over 15 years" JJ said as she looked at Emily. "You never kept in contact?" Reid asked, JJ shook her head slightly "We drifted apart about a month before they moved" Reid's phone pulled their attention though Emily stayed close to JJ as he answered "Your on speaker Garcia"

"Hello my fellow fighting kittens" Garcia voice chirped into the room causing both Rossi and Hotch to raise their eyebrows slightly "Garcia?" Hotch said in a slight warning tone "Yes?" she joked back as Emily cut in "Did anything turn up in the search I asked for?" the pout of Garcia's voice came through the speaker "you spoiled my fun" Emily held her hands up slightly as she looked at Hotch, who rolled his eyes.

"Well now, this is something else Emily" she said in a slight sarcastic tone "Garcia" Hotch warned "What did you find?" Emily asked again "Well I dug back like you asked going back over 20 years though, there is a case that is cold that bears some resemblance to this, a group of four teenagers were reported missing from that exact same area, but no bodies have ever turned up"

JJ's breath hitched slightly "There aren't any crime photos but they were last known area was around Carters Lane on the outskirts of the town" Emily fell quite as she rested her hand on JJ's shoulder as she spoke "Anything else?" Emily asked her voice slightly shaken "Nothing since, would you like me to widened my search?" she asked as JJ's voice cut in. "Widen it to East Allegheny area" JJ said as she gripped Emily's hand, as the tone of her voice shook. "Will do my fury friend, PG out"

Emily closed her eyes slightly as JJ's shaky voice echoed into the room "Hotch we need to talk"


	103. Chapter 103

**Chapter 103**

JJ smiled at Emily as she stood up "I'll be right back Em, promise" JJ said after she managed to get her feeling under control as her and Hotch stepped out the room "JJ are you okay?" JJ smiled "A little shocked to see two people I know on our board but other than that I am fine" JJ said honestly.

"If you feel you can't" JJ cut him off "I know how this job is I have done it long enough, it was a slight shock that's all, so no I do not need to sit this case out" "Are you sure" Hotch asked "I haven't seen them since I was 15 Hotch and I haven't even thought about them, so yes I am sure" JJ lied slightly "Then, what is it?" Hotch asked as he became slightly confused.

JJ smiled noticing the puzzled look on his face "That phone call before, was off someone I know he is about a 15 minutes' drive, he wants to talk to me about the case" JJ paused "You want Morgan or Rossi to go with you" JJ shook her head slightly "He wants to talk to me Hotch, he gets a little nervous around law enforcement as it is, and Morgan and Rossi don't exactly have the 'honest I won't kill' you look" JJ smirked "What about Emily?" he asked not really wanting her to go alone. "Not being funny Hotch, but she is worse than them two put together" JJ said as Hotch smirked slightly "Good point"

"The guy's name is Trevor I grew up with him Hotch, he's not a bad guy he just doesn't trust people, he got let down badly when his brother died" JJ said with a slight sad smile creasing her lips "I'm not sure I like the idea of you going alone JJ" Hotch said honestly causing JJ to smile "I knew his brother Hotch, he trusts me" she said firmly "If I thought he would hurt me, I wouldn't be willing to go, and plus I am a great shot" she smirk as her hand rested on her gun.

"When was you planning on going to meet him and where" Hotch asked "I said I would get back to him after since I know we are all hungry" she smiled "And it would be at the local bar in the dust miller" she replied. "I will tell the others that we are breaking for lunch, I think I saw a café just down the road" Hotch said "Yes there is, and its good food, we need to keep those two geeks minds fresh" JJ said as they headed back in to the room

"Who are you calling a geek?" Emily said as she caught the tail end of their conversation "Who do you think" JJ smirked slightly. "Is everything okay?" Morgan asked "Yes, we are going to grab some food, that's if you are all coming with us?" JJ said as Reid piped up "Is there a decent place around here or shall we order in" "The café down the road" Hotch said as they nodded. Emily hung back slightly as she looked at JJ "You okay Jen?" she asked softly "I am, I promise just took me by surprise" JJ admitted "You know I'm here" Emily said quietly as they walked through the station "I know"

Emily and Reid carried on passing their thoughts around with each other as they sat waiting for their food "Can you two switch your minds off while we eat?" Morgan asked as they were engulf in the discussion causing Emily to laugh "When we are back home and asleep" she replied to which JJ groaned at her "Your brains need to rest" JJ joked knowing the pair couldn't help themselves.

Half an hour later they were all back in the station as Emily and Reid carried on with the direction their minds were working, JJ made her phone call agreeing to meet Trevor at the bar in an hour as she walked back into the room "Hotch I am going to meet him in an hour" JJ said causing Emily and Morgan to turn round and look at her.

"Where are you going?" Morgan asked protectively "To meet a friend he says he may be able to help with the case" JJ said absentminded "You want me to go with you?" he asked as Emily turned back to listen to Reid "No I will be fine on my own" Emily heard her as she turned back around "Last time you said that you got hit with a shovel" Emily commented as she glared at her slightly.

"True but that time I didn't know the person personally" she joked "I will be fine" she assured both Morgan and Emily "You see why I can't allow them two to come with me?" JJ said causing Hotch to laugh slightly "Emily I can understand" JJ smiled "And Morgan's her work husband" JJ joked "Hey now! I am no such thing" Emily laughed "You rather her call me your partner?" she teased "I am your partner though" he said playfully "She you're her work husband" Rossi said smirking at him.

"Can you two behave, Please" Hotch said looking at both Emily and Morgan" "We are behaving" she joked before turning her attention back to the board calling over her should "Stay safe Jen" "I always do" "That really doesn't reassure me Jen" Emily said as she looked at her. "Prentiss!" Hotch warned slightly as she shrugged at him.

JJ sat as she started to put a statement together for the press conference that evening before getting up to leave "I will be back in a few hours depending on what he says, you need me ring" she said as she picked up her jacket and keys "This time answer it though" Rossi warned her as she waved her hand over her head as she headed out.

Emily's phone interrupted her and Reid's discussion "What you found Garcia?" Emily answer placing it straight on to answer phone "Someone has lost the love for me" Garcia said as though Emily had hurt her feelings "I will leave that for someone else" Emily teased.

Rossi whispered to Hotch at the back of the room "Seems like we finally have the old Prentiss back" Hotch nodded "It's good to see her finally joking with them again, I thought we may have lost that side of her" he admitted.

"I ran the search JJ asked and I came up with nothing that matched these case, aside from some prostitutes being murdered about 6 months ago" Emily breathed a sigh of relief that JJ's past hadn't brought up any red flags, in her mind what happen to her wife had nothing to do with what was happening now "However I have read back over the reports more seems there were a few cases matching this type of MO about 16 years back but DNA put the man responsible behind bars" She said happily "Thanks Garcia" Emily said cutting of the phone as Reid's phone vibrated with some information he frowned slightly "Email from Garcia" he said with a slight puzzled look on his face "What's it say?" Emily asked wondering why Garcia never said anything "List of names regarding the four teenagers in the cold case from 20 years ago" he replied as he wrote their names down on the white board.

JJ pulled up outside the bar, stepping out of the car she started to make her way inside as a voice called out to her "Jenny, it's good to see you" Trevor said as he walked over, JJ smiled as she couldn't help but comment "You have gowned a lot since the last time Trevor" "I was 10 Jenny" he joked.

They made their way into the bar as they sat in one of the booths for some privacy "So how have you been?" JJ asked as she looked at him "Not too bad, I still miss Alan" JJ's face saddened at the memory "I miss him too Trevor" she admitted "Jenny, you remember when, you and" he paused slightly.

JJ nodded "Not really something I can forget" she said as she looked down slightly "Well the kids you are looking for, they were camping near the same spot you were when it happened" JJ frowned slightly, she hadn't had chance to read the full reports as her time talking to the press had cost her most of the morning. "Really? Carters lane?" she said in an asking tone "Yes, Mom thinks it may be related to what happened" JJ shook her head "They caught him Trevor, your Mom knows this" she said as her voice slightly wavered, she closed her eyes slightly as Trevor continued to explain the information he had come across "You could have rung the tip line Trevor" JJ said softly "Jenny, I haven't trusted anyone since then, other than Tommy he took me under his wing, I struggled a lot after he died and you all left moved on or wouldn't talk about what happened" he replied.

JJ nodded she fully understood why he didn't trust anyone "It was half the reason I left, I just couldn't be there and if I am honest I am not comfortable being back here Alan" JJ said as they both got up before starting to leave JJ paid the bill.

"I have something in my car for you Jenny, they may help with this, I took some pictures before it started to rain" he said with a slight smile on his face as they headed out to his car, it was parked in an isolated part of the car park which didn't surprise JJ knowing how much he didn't trust or like people, something never change she mused.

The next thing she felt was the pain at the back of her head as the darkness engulfed her body.


	104. Chapter 104

**Chapter 104**

Emily and Reid carried on working on the profile they were working out as more parts fell into place Emily frowned slightly as she looked at her watch "Hotch did JJ say how long she was going to be, because I think we may be ready to give the profile" Emily said "She said a couple of hours depending on what information he had, I am sure she will ring us soon enough" Hotch said as he looked at what they had come up with so far.

"We are looking for two males, one has been doing this for a long time the first crime would have been 26 years ago then 16 years and these that have happened recently" Hotch said.

Reid took over "One will be in his mid-40's who has taken the time to groom his new partner this is the alpha"

"It would be helpful to look at other surrounding towns within the area, as they won't have stayed dormant this long he would have had to allow his younger member of the team chance to practice so he would be around mid to late 20's" Morgan said

"We have found some cases that we feel are related, so it would be helpful if you could look through your files regarding anyone missing over the past 5 years, we believe this will have been the period he had been training the younger unsub" Emily added

As Rossi added "There are no clear links that these two unsubs are related but that doesn't mean they aren't, he maybe a foster parent or may have adopted him when he was younger, he may have taken him under his wing from a young age"

"If we came across anymore information we will give it you, but for now just keep your eyes open and lean on your informant's as they may have seen something, also try and speak to some of the older teenagers as they may have been approached by them" Emily added as she looked at her watch again.

Once they had answered the other quested Emily asked if she could look at the list, she looked down at her watch again before leaning back and pinching the bridge of her nose, the one habit she had picked up of JJ over the past few years.

"This is strange" Emily said to herself as she picked up her phone "Garcia, that list you sent Reid can you get their back grounds please, and also can you try JJ" Emily asked her voice slightly concern "Your request is granted I'll hit you back shortly" Garcia replied.

Garcia rung her back slightly flustered "Emily?" Emily looked puzzled as she placed her phone on speaker "And you say I've lost the love" Emily smiled slightly, though she had a gut feeling that was sending her nauseous, "I have found some" she paused for a second "Garcia?" Hotch said slightly concern

"That list I sent Reid" she paused again as they could hear tapping in the background "Garcia what is it?" "They were from the same school, the two girls played soccer and the boys were on the athletic team" Emily sighed softly "Garcia can you run another screech for us" she asked as she gained confused and puzzled looks off the rest of them "Can you cross reference the missing ten, the four that are now missing and also the four from that list for us" Emily asked

"What is it princess" Morgan asked as she looked at the email Garcia had sent her "I'm not sure, it just all seems too coincidental that all the people missing have some connection with soccer and athletics" Emily said as she placed the information next to the four name.

Rosy Hopwood 15 soccer…. Denis Richmond 15 athletics... Sofia Jessop 14 soccer and peter Philips 14 athletics… Emily frowned for a moment "That can't be just luck can it" Emily said as they all looked at the information they had.

The nauseous feeling started to build up more in the pit of her stomach as she looked at Hotch "where exactly did JJ go Hotch?" "To meet an old friend she knew, he had some information about this, but he doesn't trust cops or any type of law enforcement something about his brother dying" "okay" she said softly as she went back to the board though the feeling nagged at her.

"All camping near Carter Lane" Emily mused to herself "Son of a bitch" Emily cursed as she picked her phone up "Garcia I need you to pull the case from 16 years ago and send me the file and the names" Emily said sharply "That case was solved Emily" Reid said at the same time as Garcia "Just do it Garcia"

Emily snapped into the phone. "it's sealed" Garcia said slightly taken back by Emily tone "Then unseal the damn file" Emily said sharply as Hotch spoke "Emily what's wrong?" she sighed as she looked at them all "Just let me get the file and I will explain" Emily said as she tried to get her feeling under control.

"The file is on its way" Garcia said cautiously "And the names Garcia?"

"Carly Wills aged 15, William Porter aged 16, Jennifer Hopwood 15 and Alan Matthews aged 16" Garcia said before adding "Do you want me to look through the reports "No, the man they lock away got killed in prison 4 months later" Emily said weakly.

"Garcia the names have you found out what they all have in common?" Emily asked carefully "Whoa! Get this" Garcia said slightly shocked "They all attend East Allegheny High school" she paused slightly "Carly, Alan, William and the parents of the ones missing all attended there" Garcia paused slightly "The other six that are missing all have connections to Jennifer Hopwood" Emily closed her eyes slightly as she lost her balance.

"Emily, are you okay?" Morgan asked as he steadied her "No, Garcia any look with JJ?" she asked the concern all the more evident in her voice "Nothing yet, I will keep trying our blonde bombshell though" Garcia said a little more relaxed "Garcia trace her phone I want to know exactly where she is" she paused as she glared at Hotch "And I also want to know who she was meeting Hotch" Emily said in a very stern voice "Her friend Trevor" Hotch said as he looked at her

"Garcia run a back ground on him as well, his number should be the last number JJ dialled" Garcia frowned "You want me to hack her phone?" "No I am telling you to hack my wife's phone and find out where the hell she is" Emily said as her temper boiled snapping the phone off

"You should have made someone go with her Hotch, if anything has happened to her I swear to god" "Emily what the hell?" Morgan cut in as he blocked her line of sight from Hotch "That is out of line Prentiss" Hotch scowled from the other side of the room.

"Emily calm down, you know what JJ is like for not answering her phone when she is with someone or she may just be held up, she is with a friend" Emily shock her head slightly as she looked at the shocked faces in front of her "You all need to sit down" Emily said with a slight firmness in her voice "And I will explain everything" she said not being able to help the tear that escaped her eye.

Trevor drove around town with JJ in the trunk of his car, before turning up a dirt road, still unconscious he lifted JJ out of the trunk carrying her into the small building in front of him, carefully placing the chains locking them tight before tying then to the metal ring in the wall. He sat there watching her waiting for her to wake up.


	105. Chapter 105

**Chapter 105**

Emily gripped hold of the chair as she continued to speak "We all know JJ went to school in the over town" Morgan nodded as Reid looked puzzled at her. Emily opened the laptop opening the file that Garcia had sent her, her heart broke slightly "The two girls that were taken 16 years ago were brutal raped and torched" she paused slightly as she turned the laptop around so that could see the backs of both girls.

"They were whipped and when he didn't use the whip it was his fists, he told them they were unclean and that he would fix them" she took a breath as she closed her eyes "Now these cases are similar aside from both girls being dumped outside a hospital a few days later after being caught, looking at the case from 20 years ago I am going to take a wild guess that Rosy and Sofia were in a relationship" Emily stopped for a moment before turning the laptop back round so she could pull the pictures of the four teenagers up on to the screen her heart broke in two.

"But JJ said Carly was in a relationship with her, so I can't see what that has to do with this case" Morgan said sceptically. "JJ was in a relationship with her" she smiled sadly "Prentiss where are you going with this?" Rossi asked slightly concerned as Hotch watched her with a seldom expression across his face "JJ knew them all, and I am guessing she also knows Samantha?" she looked at Hotch "Right?" he nodded

She took a breath trying to control the uncertainties that were building inside her as she spoke "We all have met Jennifer's mother?" she asked "Emily?" Hotch said with slight concern "Her maiden name is Hopwood" Emily said as she turned the laptop around showing a very young JJ, as they all gasped

"That's… it…. Her… Jareau!" Reid stammered out**. **Emily nodded "Because of the press that got hold of this, shall we say she was finding it hard, with it being a small town and in order to protect her, from it coming out in the future, the local police force agreed to use her mother's maiden name. Since there was slight worries she wouldn't get her scholarship with something like this attached to her name"

Hotch watched her carefully as he spoke "How long have you thought it was related to this Emily?" he asked carefully "In honesty" he nodded "That would be for the best, don't you think" Hotch said as the rest still sat in shock only Morgan's mumbling could be heard slightly. "From the second JJ said that this" she pointed to the picture off the missing woman "Was Carly"

Reid's voice was only just audible "Why didn't you say something sooner?" Emily looked at him sadly "I was hoping I was wrong and since Alan's name isn't up here I am guessing he is dead which I am almost certain Garcia will find out, once she has run all the checks" she looked straight at Hotch "Now I would like you to tell me exactly where Jennifer has gone and who exactly she went to meet Hotch" she said rather firmly just as Morgan's phone rung.

Morgan answered his phone "What you found" he said slightly deflated "Your on speaker" he warned slightly "Prentiss why is your phone off?" causing Emily to look at her phone "Shit, battery died" she said softly "Garcia have you managed to get hold of JJ and please tell me you have a location" she said as she looked sadly at her wife's picture.

"Right I haven't been able to get through to her, but I did find some information about Trevor who she went to meet" "Go on" Hotch said as he watched Emily carefully. "His name is Trevor Matthews, brother of the late get this Emily, on that list I gave you Alan Matthews who I might add died under strange circumstances but it was never looked into" SON OF A BITCH" Emily cursed loudly "Garcia I want her location NOW!" she said as she tried to control the fear that was building inside her again.

"I wasn't able to trace her phone" Garcia said with a slight worried tone "I can however tell you the last area it was in" "Garcia!" Emily scowled slightly "I did track her car though it is parked up outside a bar the dusty miller it is about 15 minutes from you"

JJ moaned slightly as she went to place her hand on her head she winced slightly as it pounded into her ears "damn it" she said groggily. Her arms were heavy as she tried to move slightly only to find herself unable to move as she heard a voice say "How nice of you to finally join us Jenny" Trevor said in a condescending tone "Where, Trevor?" she mumbled as a wave of nauseousness filled her senses "I wouldn't be too concerned with that right now" he sneered. Slight fear took over as she opened her eyes.

Morgan cut his phone off as Emily whispered "I've got a really bad feeling about this" as Hotch spoke "Lets head to the bar, she might just be having car trouble" he said as Emily's head snapped up glaring straight at him "I hope to god your right Hotch" Morgan looked at her "She will be fine Prentiss" he tried to reassure her, as she throw him a warning glance.


	106. Chapter 106

**Chapter 106**

The air was thick with the smell of stale body. She shivered unable to stop herself she opened her eyes as she heard another man's voice, she gulped audibly as the other man walked over towards her "Finally, I have you again, tell me Jenny are you still unclean?" he sneered, sending a wave of panic to course through her.

He turn his face fully looking straight at her, his eyes peering through her worse than glass, more like a knife that has stopped half way to be turned to give that little more pain.

He stalked rather than walked towards her the evil glinting in his eye. The blow came hard and fast without a second thought. Her body shuddered with the blows the blood oozing out of her nose like a wave.

Just as she was about to pass out from the pain she heard him speak "Tie her up, just like I showed you" Trevor nodded, as he next comment made her gag uncontrollably "It should bring back fun times for her" he said slyly.

The blackness lifted from her as she felt hands on her body, the tight feeling on her wrist made her heave slightly.

She next heard a sharp crack split the icy air. She gulped the air as a shiver of fear made her body freeze up. She felt the pain before she heard the second crack. The whip slashed across her right breast and she bit her tongue, trying to hold in the scream beginning to build in her chest. The whip fell again, cracking against her "Don't break her too soon?" he smiled slyly at him "We have all the time we want to make her pay" he spat at her.

They all arrived at the bar JJ was meant to be meeting Trevor in, Emily looked around spotting the SUV that JJ was using "That's her car" she said softly to Morgan "You know she is going to be pissed when she sees your checking up on her" Morgan said with a slight smirk "A pissed of JJ I can cope with" Emily admitted

They all made their way into the small bar, Emily and Morgan looked around, but there was no sign of her Hotch and Rossi walked over getting the bar tenders attention "Have you seen this woman?" Hotch asked as he show him a picture of JJ. He smiled "I could never forget a face like that" Rossi looked at him "When did you last see her?" he enquired "A few hours ago she left with a younger gentleman" he grinned "Never seen him smile like that before" he past the comment absently "What's that supposed to mean?" Emily said dangerously as she walked over "He seem loved up, he use to come in, but this was the first time in about 3 years, nice to see the boy happy"

Emily looked at Hotch as Morgan's strong hand gripped her "Come on Prentiss we will wait outside" Emily protested as Morgan wouldn't let go of her "No, Morgan get off me" Morgan looked back at Hotch and Rossi "I don't trust you right now to do that" he admitted.

JJ's head lulled onto her chest as her shoulder burned with pain. Trevor walked over once Tommy had left the room, cupping her chin so she was looking at him, "Why?" she whispered, he placed his hand on the welt that had formed on her cheek causing JJ to wince in pain "You killed him" JJ looked at him stunned for a moment as the pain made her mind foggy, "I didn't do anything" she said in a whimper, her body was crying in pain her head was still ponding as she tried to stay focused on him.

"You left, you all left" he spat in anger "And then he was killed" he said as he slapped her cheek, "This is all your fault, if he hadn't have hung around with your type he would still be alive!" He hissed "My type?" she couldn't help the question that slipped from her lips. "Little miss perfect, but your dirty, nothing but a cheap whore" he sneered. JJ couldn't find the words to use as she stared blankly at him "If you had stayed, he would have still been here, but you all left all of you" he said as he slapped her face against causing her to cry out slightly "And you're going to pay for it Jenny" he mocked.

Emily paced outside as she ranted angrily at Morgan who now had his phone against his ear "Prentiss you either shut the hell up for one second or I will cuff you in the back of that damn car" Morgan said firmly "What's going on Derek?" Garcia asked hearing his tone "I need you to run a trace on the number Trevor use" just as Emily shouted "And his fucking address" Morgan sighed "Morgan what on earth is"

Morgan cut her off "Just do it before Prentiss shoots me" he cut his phone off as he walked over to Emily stilling her movements "Emily you are going to have to calm down, you are no good to us or JJ like this" she glared at him "Calm down! I will calm down when I know where she is!" she spat back at him in anger

"Emily we don't even know if anything has happened, she might just have" she cut him off "Don't you dare say it Morgan, don't you even dare imply she would just go off without letting one of us know, she isn't stupid"

Reid wandered back inside "Hotch, you need to calm Emily down before she kills him" Reid said softly as he looked at them both though the worry was evident on his face "Hold on Reid" Hotch said as he turned his attention back to the bar tender "Thank you for your help" he said kindly before they head back outside.

As they could all hear Emily's raised voice "PRENTISS ENOUGH!" Hotch shouted pulling her attention as she stared at him "If anything happens to her Hotch I swear to god I will hold you entirely responsible" he lowered his voice slightly "You can take whatever anger you need out on me, but until there is proof that she is missing or anything has happened to her, you get your head back on this case, or you will spend it in your hotel room" he said pointedly.

"May be the car wouldn't start and he took her back to the station?" Reid offered up slightly "I doubt it" she mumbled "Well standing here isn't going to get anything done, I suggest will all go back to the station and see what we are missing and if Garcia finds anything out for us" Rossi said "Fine" Emily grumbled slightly unsure if Hotch would really pull her off the case.

"Don't worry Jenny, I won't let you die" he sniggered "it would spoil all my fun" he added sarcastically, JJ thought through the pain as she spoke "I never did anything to you or your brother" "YOU LIAR!" he shouted as he punched her in the gut, "You're the reason he drank, you're the reason he turned to drugs, you are the sole reason he isn't here anymore" JJ closed her eyes to suppress the tears as she spoke "It wasn't my fault or anyone's fault what happened" she whispered.

Tommy had walked back into the room going unnoticed by them both as he spoke making JJ flinch "You're a filthy dyke" he spat from behind her as he gripped her hair "I thought we cured you!" JJ couldn't help the tremor that ran through her body "But he was wrong and you got him killed for trying to help fix you" he spat in her ear causing her to wrench.

She couldn't help the shriek that came as his hand snaked around her gripping her shirt "Tell me Jenny did they heal?" JJ couldn't answer she could even think as his hand gripped her breast agonizingly "Guess I could always look for myself" he sneered

"Tell me something good mamma" Morgan said as he walked out the room "The number you asked me to trace is at the address I gave you before" Garcia said softly "Dusty miller?" he asked to confirm "Yes, Morgan?" she hesitated slightly "It's just me baby girl" he assured her "What's going on?" she asked slightly unsure "Right now I am not sure other than it is looking more and more likely the JJ is missing" Garcia gasped "No…" He leaned against the wall as he spoke "Garcia listen we will find her, but it may be best not to take anything personally from Prentiss right now" he said warningly.

Emily looked disheartened at the board as she mentally berated herself **'someone should have gone with her, if anything happens to her, it will be my fault' **

Hotch looked at the now vacant expression on Morgan's face as he walked in, no words were needed to be spoken as he simply just shook his head before looking at Emily who was just staring at the board. Rossi looked at them both keeping his voice low as he spoke to Hotch and Morgan "She's going to kill us" he said before his eyes also fell onto Emily.


	107. Chapter 107

**Chapter 107**

***The next morning***

Hotch stepped out the room for a moment before pressing speed dial "Please tell me she has been found?" Garcia answered "No, Garcia I have sent the jet back to get you, we could use you being here" he said as he looked back into the room "Sir?" "It should be there by now" he said "Is Emily okay?" she questioned slightly as Hotch sighed "Garcia she hasn't left the room yet and hopefully seeing you can help brighten us all up" he said with a slight smile. If he was fully honest he wanted all the team together. "I will be with you post haste" Garcia said as she hung up.

The rest of the team came in shortly after "What you working on Emily?" Reid asked as he looked at the board seeing how it was different from when he left, she turned and looked at him as Morgan placed a coffee cup in her hand "You need to rest Em" she gladly took the coffee as she looked at him in disbelief "I am fine" she warned slightly.

She turned her attention back to the board as she looked at Reid "I have being going over this all night" she said softly "You haven't slept?" Reid asked, Emily couldn't help but smile JJ always treated him like her own child as she spoke "I will when I know she is safe" she gave a weak smile.

Hotch looked at Rossi "She is going to burn herself out" Rossi said quietly as Hotch smiled "That girl can go seven days straight on little sleep add the anger worry and fear together, she won't rest till JJ is back with us" he gave a sad smile "And yet the only person she talks to nicely right now is Reid" Rossi said "JJ treats him like her kid brother do she will too" Rossi nodded as they made their way fully into the room.

"Prentiss, What have you got?" Hotch asked "Right well I have been working on this with Garcia most of the night and so far" Emily flipped the board over as they all took in the information she had found out...

"Now looking at this, it all started 20 years ago, I haven't managed to work out way yet but if you look at what I have come across, it sort of makes sense"

**2o years ago**

Rosy Hopwood - Sandy's Uncle's daughter

Sofia Jessop – was in a relationship with Rosy

Peter Philips - William Porters Uncle…

Denis Richmond - No common link?

**16 years ago**

Carly Wills… AKA Sandra Wills – Was dating Jennifer - Now missing

Jennifer Hopwood – AKA JJ -Sandy's daughter – Second cousin of Rosy Hopwood - Now missing

Alan Matthews - Died - Soul Living relative Trevor – Parents Deceased (4 and a half years ago)

William Porter - Peter Philips Nephew - Now missing

**People missing the last 3 years**

Andrew Roberts - Jody Roswell's stepfather - Was due to move in two weeks before he went missing

Sandra Wills AKA Carly Wills - Case 16 years ago - Missing

William Porter - Case 16 years ago - Dating Julia Peters - Both missing

Matthew Johnson - Mitchel Jones cousin - In a relationship with Susan Ellis – Both missing

**Recent missing teenagers….**

Jody Roswell - Andrew Robert's Step daughter!

Amanda Harris - Dating Jody…

Jonathan & Paul Rogers - Stepbrothers - Samantha - Jennifer's ex-best friend at school…

Mitchel Jones - Matthew Johnson's cousin…..

"Aside from families they all have one other thing in common East Allegheny High School or had strong connections there, the five we have missing parents went there or related to either the six missing or had common ground with them, but this all started 20 years ago!" Emily said with a slight frown.

"That would mean it all relates back to Rosy Hopwood and Peter Philips" Reid said as he followed the time-lines and also Emily's trail of thought "That is exactly what I was thinking, it started with them and seems everyone else came from the aftermath" Emily said.

"Emily, just how much of JJ's past do you know about" Hotch asked cautiously "I know nearly everything" Emily admitted as a small smile hit her lips "So she told you about" he paused as Emily's famous walls slammed down around them "I know everything that happened to her" Emily said emotionlessly, he nodded "I need to" Emily cut him straight off "You can read it but I am not betraying her confidence in me" she said sternly.

"Emily the teenagers who have gone or been missing they all were near Carters Lane?" Reid asked "Yes they were, 20, 16 years ago and this group and all of them played sports" Emily said as she gently place her hand on Reid's arm.

Emily frowned slightly as Hotch picked up JJ's file, taking a breath she touched his arm as she spoke "Hotch, it's not pretty reading" she warned "I know" he said as he moved away sitting at the table to read through the files.

"Prentiss, can you do this?" Rossi asked softly. "If it means finding her," Emily replied fiercely, "I'll find Archimedes, his damn lever, a place to stand, and if needed I'll get out and bloody push."

Despite being visibly taken aback, Rossi nodded, as her shoulders straightened as she looked at them all. Her expression a mask of calm so convincing the rest of the team were all startled.

"Archimedes, a lever and do what?" Morgan asked, confused. As Reid explained, "Archimedes is quoted as saying,** 'Give me a place to stand and a lever long enough and I'll move the world.'**" Causing Emily to slap him gently "He's old enough to work it out on his own Reid" Morgan looked sadly at her as he sighed

The dark slowly lifted from her eyes as her body screamed in pain, the red welts that the whip left had lessoned over the last few hours but they still hurt like a bitch, she shivered as the cold air attacked her body

"Sleep well Jenny?" Trevor asked with a slight smirk "Weren't that bad" she said sarcastically "I've slept in worse places" she added, as he looked at her slyly "I see you never lost that" JJ couldn't help the smile that crept on to her lips "You don't know me as well as you think you do Trevor"

She couldn't help but tense slightly as Tommy came back in, she closed her eyes slightly "You little bitch" he sneered as she waited for him to start again

"You know there is a barn where JJ was camping" Hotch said as he read over the statements, "Yeah she said it freaked them out but it was abandoned and has been for years" Emily said as she turned to look at him "Did she say why it freaked them out?" he asked, Emily sighed "She just told me there was something about it and that it also smelled funny or as she said it stunk like the back end of a sewer" she rolled her eyes slightly.

"I think it might be a good place to start looking?" Rossi said "Rossi I am not being funny but if they were keeping anyone there at anyone point in time if no one else noticed you would have when you went to the scene yesterday!" Emily pointed out "What's bugging you Prentiss?" Morgan asked "Something just doesn't fit, it's all to" she frowned slightly as she tried to think of the right word "I don't think they are in this area"

"What makes you think that?" Hotch asked "Well aside from where they were last seen, the only connection is East Allegheny" Emily stated "And even these missing five have a common connection to East Allegheny" she pointed out "You mean aside from their personal connections?" Morgan asked slightly confused "Yes, if you take the personal connections out it leads only one common source East Allegheny or to be very exact the high school"

"What was the name of the man they lock away?" Reid asked "Howard Stanley" Emily said as her body tensed slightly "And they are sure he was responsible for what happened to JJ and Carly?" he asked softly "DNA confirmed it and his DNA was the only one they found" Emily sighed softly "She always said she though there were two of them" her voice full of raw emotion. "Can you get Garcia to run a check for me, I need some air" Emily said as she ran her fingers through her hair.


	108. Chapter 108

**Chapter 108**

****3 Days missing****

**In 24 hours they'll be, Laying flowers**

Trevor spoke to me his voice full of anger; I hadn't seen him in nearly 15 years though it may have been longer… I wasn't here when his brother died, it wasn't me who gave him the drugs or the drink and it sure as hell wasn't me who killed him! I think if he looked closely he would know he killed himself in the end... People never learn don't mess with drug dealers as it will never end well!

Tommy whipped me again, but my body didn't register the pain not anymore, by luck the whip meshed over my old scars on my back, they had been numb for years, though they weren't as harsh as I remember, I can feel the welts rising on my skin again…

I don't remember him I've never seen him but he knows me and he knows exactly what happened to me 16years ago…Maybe I was right when I told Emily I thought there was two… Oh Emily my darling wife I love you so much… But I promise you I am okay… it don't hurt anymore…

I should have listen to him when he said someone should go with me… I shouldn't have let my guard down… but where had that 10year old sweet boy I knew gone? I swear he knows my jaw and cheek are sore as he slaps it again to wake me… My arms are hurting… I can feel my shoulder pulling against the bindings as my body is going numb… How much I wish I stayed at home! Maybe Emily would listen to me when I make that next request?

What's taking you so long my love…? I know your trying... I know you are running yourself in to the ground… I need you Emily! But still I can't feel you near… My heart and soul you have, and I know you will keep them safe… But, my body, well it's going to be sensitive as hell after this!

"Morgan tell me the story JJ told you about her being scared of the woods?" Emily said as he head snapped round looking straight at him, he looked at her puzzled "And you want to know this now because?" he said slightly taken back "People don't fear something like that on the level that she does!" Emily fired back slightly.

"Used to be a camp counsellor when she was a teenager, in the woods up around Vermont. She had the night shift, you know, tuck the girls in, and turn off the lights, you know, the typical drill. She noticed that there was some blood, on the hallway floor. She followed the blood trail down the hall to the camp director's cabin, walked up to his bed; he was just lying there, under his covers, dead. Someone stabbed him. She ran out of there so fast, out the door, down the hall. She just remembers it being really dark. Got to the door, there was another counsellor; she guess she had heard her scream. They caught the caretaker on his way in to town. She guessed he still had the knife on him. Anyway, that's probably when she decided she didn't like the woods." Morgan gave a slightly shorter version

Reid cut in "She was winding us up, she never lived in Vermont" he said looking puzzled as Emily smiled softly at him, before turning to Garcia "Garcia can you look for summer camps in the area" Emily asked softly

**** In 18 hours they'll be Laying flowers****

Damnit that hurt like a son of a bastard bitch and then some, but there again when someone hits you with a plank of wood it really isn't meant to tickle now is it? I can just see the look on her face right now… Poor sod isn't going to know what hit him… There again if this carries on I might not be awake to see it! People wonder why I pinch my nose well right now I wish I could pinch it so my nose would stop bleeding. Too many tumbles at soccer and at home with my brother… I get a headache and my nose pours like a bloody fountain… God it's back again… Is he going to get tired anytime soon?

"I have found twelve my sweet" Garcia said with a smile, Emily gave her a slightly pointed look "And out of them how many of them are still in use and not rusted buckets of crap on the floor or in the river" Emily said with a hint of sarcasm "I will tell you in two shakes of a lambs tail" Rossi looked at her confused as Hotch whispered "Sometimes it is better if you don't ask" Rossi nodded as he looked at Emily

**** In 13 hours they'll be Laying flowers****

Remind me how I can just hang or stand depending how you look at it, and just be silent… Do they think they have broken me? Hell it didn't break me before sure as hell wont now... But it is going to leave a scar... Just how much more shit do I and Emily have to go through…? I knew life with her would never be boring… But if it's not her getting beaten up, hit with a 2x4, it's our kids and if the twins are anything like Sarah and Emily I am going to have a house full of stubborn guarded people!

But in hind sight I wouldn't change it for the world... She has already had one minor operation... Which was driving me crazy the other day...? Strange he whips me and I think of Emily that is just so wrong... Though I can't help the slight smile that has crept on my lips…

"Well my brown-eyed beauty, I have got it down to six" she smiled hanging Emily the list as she casted a sceptical eye over it "Garcia see which ones were out of business 16years ago and look see if you can also find the camp sites name" she added as Reid start pin pointing them on the map.

**** In just 8 hours they'll be Laying flowers****

My body can take the pain it is the lack of food and water that is totally affecting me… I can't help the slight moan that escapes my lips as he brings the whip crashing down on the inside of my thigh... Why the hell am I so sensitive there…? Though I do like it when she runs her nails there… I bite my lip now thinking of her…

10 months and I am finally getting back the woman I fell in love with so long ago… She is stronger she is nearly healed… And I know my two geeks will figure it out I just hope they hurry up about it… I just want to hear them three little letters that mean the world to me… Then I'll know that I am safe….

"Right I found two" she paused "Okay this is really strange, looks like that story JJ said wasn't fully a lie aside from it have been derelict for the past 20years, though someone still owns it" Morgan looked at her as Emily started to pace "What wasn't a lie?" Morgan asked before Emily totally lost her patience.

Emily knew she couldn't push too much but also this wasn't just her friend this was her wife the one person that made her complete who made her world turn inside out with just one look.

I wonder if I weren't tied to this infernal god forsaking board if he would grab me like that… Maybe if I get chance at some point, I can grab him by his ball-sack and give it such a good twist and see what he feels like afterwards? Does he really think digging his nails into my flesh really hurts? That I will what cry out in pain? The only person I want grabbing my fucking breast like that is my damn wife! Oh hell those thoughts again… I know she has heard me late at night, when I sometimes mumble in my sleep... her eyes give it away

Just like the other day when she sat there in the kitchen messing with her handcuffs… I wonder since she is now… How can I say coming back to me? Is that the right term to use? She still sometimes finches though when I go to touch her... It's worse when she is tired as her nightmares seem to attack then' or after a really rough case… I know myself when I have looked at case files it can sometimes bring back bad memories for us both… Though well I am sure the rest will know now what happened to me those 16 years ago… I just hope to god they don't see my half-naked body when they get here… Because I know they are coming… I know Emily will work everything out... I can see her now working while they try and make her rest take a break… But she never does... Even when we are in some hotel room in some god forsaking town that needs our help she doesn't sleep…

"Howard Stanley owned it 16years ago" Garcia said as Emily looked at her with a slight fire in her eyes that even Morgan flinched at "The name of that camp Garcia!" "Vermont's second retreat" "Hotch!" Emily said as she gripped her gun clipping in to her side as she looked at Morgan who was already at her side.

****In just 1 hour they'll be Laying flowers on my life****

Why do they think I keep falling asleep...? Oh wait I forgot they don't really care about my comfort... I heard Tommy say something about my Mom's Uncle? How the hell does he know about him let alone know about Rosy? Mom said she ran away over 20 years ago!

Please can one of you just make up your damned minds if you're going to use the whip your fists or that damn piece of board because really neither of them really do anything for me! Wow! When did I become as stubborn as my wife? Crap! That can't be good… We get the results back on Morgan next week I really hope our little champ is okay, I've been so worried about him and I know Emily has I can see it, every time she looks at him and picks him up.. He will only settle in her arms nothing else seems to be any comfort to the poor little mite...

For the love of god I just want to sleep! If it wasn't for the fact my throat is dry and jaw didn't ache I would voiced my opinions but there again staying quite is more than likely for the best, I really want you Emily please baby I just want to sleep… My bones my skin my head and even places I didn't even think were possible to hurt are now hurting.. I just need you to make the pain stop baby and let me sleep!


	109. Chapter 109

**Chapter 109**

****Soon they'll be Laying flowers on my life****

I need you darling can't take it anymore I want my body to rest! And frankly I don't even care where anymore… My fingers tingle as the rope pulls tighter against my skin… Which is sure to leave a mark…? My shoulders have gone from being on fire to numb… Surely that isn't a good sign?

I need you to promise me that you will live your life free… Don't live in the past anymore… I see that sparkle behind them walls… That you only show to me! Believe me when I say I am truly honoured for that my sweetheart…I don't think I can take anymore…I want the darkness to take me just so I can rest for a while… And maybe I'll see your smile?

I can't even register any more as he hits me… But I know one thing Reid hits better than him…That reminds me of you again… Strange how my thoughts turn to you…But it comforts me… I know you will find me…But I know I don't have long my sweet love…

"What's taking so long with those directions Garcia!" Emily almost yelled "It's not on a road, I will send you the grid co-ordination, bring our girl home" Garcia said as she stared into familiar stormy eyes "Come hell or high water" Morgan said with a smile as they headed for the door.

**** Now I can see, what matters to me? It's as clear as crystal. The places I've been. The people I've seen****

Please my love, don't make me wait… I can feel my heart pull to you…I don't have long…

Morgan took the lead as they hightailed it through the streets coming up the along the river that separated the two towns "Morgan don't kill us getting there" Emily warned as he skidded around the corner, causing both Emily and Reid to hang on "I won't kill us Emily, JJ would bring me back to life just to kill me again if I did that" he joked slightly.

"I would like to live till my next birthday" Rossi's voice came through into their earpieces "No one said you had to keep up" Morgan mocked "Emily Morgan you do not go in their until we are all out and kitted up" Emily groaned slightly "I mean it Emily I do not want you two playing hero" Hotch warned as Emily half snapped "Fine, then you best keep up old man" Rossi looked at Hotch trying not to laugh as Emily spoke but he couldn't help the comment that slipped out "She has a point, step on the gas" he teased "Dave do you want to drive!" he shot a look at him

**** I'm not alone, I sense it****

I can feel her… there again I always can feel her… all the times she watched me… I could feel her hand before it touched the small of my back… Being so in tuned must have that effect…Sometimes we don't need words just a look a touch and it has been said…I remember Sarah commenting on it the other day… she asked us to stop talking as we were making her dizzy…Strange though no words left our lip… I just hear it now my body totally numb… I am so cold baby... Please tell me you have a blanket… My body is only for your eyes!

I can hear the cars the low hum they make… I hear the footfalls and hushed voices… these two idiots are more interested in hitting me than paying attention

****Those three little letters, I know I am safe****

FBI! Freeze! Morgan yelled causing them to spin around. Emily glared as she cocked her gun aiming it towards the middle of his forehead. "You're too late" her sneered, as JJ's head lulled finally against her chest...

Emily's finger flexed against the trigger "Move and I will shoot you" Hotch and Rossi knew she wasn't joking, and silently they both was praying they moved they all fixated on the two men as Emily growled deep in her throat "ON THE GROUND NOW!" she hollered…

****she's here! ****

If my head would stop spinning... and I still had the strength to move my love… I would give you a sign that I am still here… Please Emily don't do something stupid…

She couldn't look at JJ she knew if she did she wouldn't be able to control herself as she glared dangerously at the two men "Trevor step away and get on the ground" Emily warned as Morgan spoke harshly "On the ground now Tommy"

Trevor faltered slightly as his eyes flashed towards JJ's lifeless body, as he moved that was all it took for the shot to be fire echoing loudly around them. "I won't tell you again" Morgan warned as Emily raised her eyebrow, she never fired her gun!

The sly grin of Reid's lips let her knew who fired the weapon, right then she was so proud of him and she knew JJ would be as well, he always hit his target when he was panicked, she nodded to say a silent thank you to him knowing he would understand.

"She's unclean" Tommy shouted as Emily set her glare back on him her eyes glanced at her wife as she spoke harshly "And you're a filthy fucker who gets off attacking women and kids" not meaning her thoughts to spill out for everyone to hear. Rossi had to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing as Hotch warned softly

Tommy's eyes were now focused solely on her, she begged him to move, just one foot, just to make a run at her, and she wanted a reason to blow his brains out "You're all unclean" he sneered. As Emily mocked him "I've never been one for the clean type" she could see his anger building as Morgan's voice whispered in her ear "Careful princess" he warned slightly

"Tell me Tommy is it always the weak ones you go for" Emily said casually, he faltered "Weak" he repeated as Emily smirked his attention was now completely on her "Yes weak, pretty little blondes, that can't really defend themselves. I thought you being who you was and who your Stepfather was, He would have" she paused slightly as she taunted him "Trained you right, your still just a little puppy trying to live up to his name"

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Tommy screamed "Seems to me you're a scared boy in a man's body, not really something to be proud of or really not someone anyone would willingly follow" Hotch sighed knowing what Emily was trying to do and knowing if her tried to stop he might end up looking down the barrel of her gun.

"I sure as hell wouldn't follow him into a pond" Morgan smirked knowing exactly what Emily was doing "That's because you're a man, and this is a little boy who thinks he's a man, you know I thought he would have been, you know taller, have some muscle behind him" she raised her eyebrow at Morgan "He reminds me of that kid we work with over there I forget his name" Emily laughed softly "Oh I know what you mean, it's not bad enough we do this job we have to babysit him as well"

Reid had managed to make his way behind Tommy as Emily and Morgan teased his masculinity, Tommy's eyes never left Emily as he growled slightly.

Emily nodded slightly "Move and the last thing you see will be her" Reid said as he placed his gun at the back of his head and clicking the safety off "On the ground now" Rossi said who was moving towards Reid his gun also trained on him "Don't make me ask you twice" he growled out.

Once Rossi had the cuffs on him Emily looked at Morgan "Blanket and then help me get her down" she said her eyes falling straight on JJ as she spoke.

'**I started to fall the silence deafened me my head spinning round and then I felt it'**

"I knew you'd come" JJ whispered as Emily wrapped the blanket around her laying her into her lap as they waited for the medics to arrive "I'll always come and I'll always find you my sweet love" Emily whispered into her ear as she ran her fingers through her hair gently


	110. Chapter 110

**Chapter 110**

Emily sat in the waiting area staring at the floor as Garcia came bursting through, though she didn't fully acknowledge her "Emily" she said softly as she sat beside her, "Is there any news?" she asked softly.

Emily could only shake her head, she couldn't find her voice without breaking down completely, Garcia wrapped her arm around her "She's going to be okay Emily I know she is" Garcia said trying her best to stay strong though her heart was breaking.

Her voice was a little more than a whisper as she spoke "It's bad Pen" as Garcia rubbed her back gently, "Has anyone spoken to you Emily?" Garcia asked

"She's in surgery, broken ribs internal bleeding, badly bruised jaw, both shoulders dislocated and severe burns from the ropes on her wrists" Emily paused slightly "They are worried about her being so dehydrated"

Garcia went to move Emily's hair back out of her face, she flinched slightly "Don't" was all she said she didn't want her friend to see the tears that were building in her eyes "They said they would tell me more when they had finished" Emily said as she finally broke down.

As quick as she broke down she had pulled herself back together, she looked at Garcia with a guarded smile "Can you ring her mom for me, I don't think I can" Emily said as Garcia nodded.

They sat there in silence as they waited for news, Garcia squeezed Emily's hand as she spoke "Have you got Sandy's number and I will go and ring her" Emily pulled her phone out passing it to her "It's under Gran" Emily chuckled slightly "Really?" "Sarah did it" she smiled slightly as she spoke. "What about you're Mother Emily?" Garcia asked gently before she went out the room "I'll ring her later when I have news"

With that Emily was left in the waiting room alone, she let her thoughts take over as she said a silent prayer for JJ to pull through.

It wasn't long before Garcia had made her way back into the room "She said they will be here within the hour" Garcia said as she handed the phone back to her "Thanks Pen" Emily said "Have they managed to get anything out of him?" Emily asked trying to take her mind off what was happening down the hall.

"Yes, they shouldn't be much longer" Garcia said with a slight smiled, Emily just nodded as she started to stare at the floor again. "I can't lose her Pen, I can't" Emily said weakly "Emily, JJ is nearly as stubborn as you, you are not going to lose her" Garcia said firmly.

"Mrs Prentiss?" the young doctor said as he entered the room, Emily stood up looking at him "Is she okay?" Emily asked he smiled softly "They have just moved her to recovery the operation went well" Emily frowned slightly "Did they" she closed her eyes slightly as she spoke "Have you run a rape kit?" she asked finding the strength "We did, and there were no signs of a sexual assault" he said "I will let you know when she has been moved from recovery" Emily nodded as she breathed a sigh of relief.

Emily sat back down as she looked at Garcia, who had tears in her eyes as she spoke "Thank god" Emily couldn't help the small smile on her lips as she looked at her.

It had been over two hours since they had found JJ; the rest of the team had headed back to the station to question Tommy about the whereabouts of the missing teenagers after an hour of grilling him he finally gave the location to where they were. Hotch, Rossi and Reid had gone sending Morgan to the hospital to be with Emily and Garcia.

"Hey princess" Morgan said as he walked in "Hey" she said as she looked at him "How is she?" he asked looking towards the door "Out of surgery and in recovery" Emily mumbled "Have they. Did they" Emily couldn't get her words out fully "We have found them, they are on their way here with them all" he smiled softly.

"I should have shot him Morgan" Emily said slightly harshly "But you didn't Emily" she looked at him "I wish I had" she growled out "Then we wouldn't have found them and we also found the others" he said weakly "Dead?" she asked knowing the answer already "Yes, though we have to wait on the identification's but looks like we have found them kids that went missing 20years ago" Emily nodded

"Did you find out why" Emily asked, Morgan looked at her for a moment "I need to know Morgan" Emily said her voice firm as she stared at him.

"According to Tommy Stanley, Howard Stanley, started the attack out of revenge, his sister was killed in a hit and run 23 years ago" Emily glared at him "And what does that have to do with Jennifer!" she asked harshly

"Rosy father was responsible and Howard thought he hadn't paid enough, hence he kidnaped them 20years ago" Emily frowned slightly "Go on" Morgan sighed "Tommy had a slight crush on JJ and told his dad, then they both saw her kissing Carly and something snapped in Howard" Emily shook her head "So they beat her half to death and" Emily paused "Because she was with a girl!" Emily closed her eyes slightly "No, because his stepson had fallen for the girl whose family was responsible for his daughter's death" Morgan said just as Sandy and Anthony walked in.

Emily nodded at them both as she spoke "And they did this to her because!" Emily snapped slightly "Trevor blamed her for Alan's death" Emily moved slightly away from them "This world is more fucked up every day" she whispered before finally looking at Sandy and Anthony.

"Emily, how is she" Sandy asked "In recovery" Emily closed her eyes, right now all she wanted to do was be alone or with JJ but here under everyone's watch was pulling on her nervous

She looked at Morgan as she spoke "Could you guys" he smiled "Come on Garcia lets go and find some coffee and the rest of the team" Emily gave him a grateful smile as she looked at Sandy.

"Oh! Emily" Sandy said as she walked over wrapping her arms around her "She's going to be okay Sandy" Anthony smiled "Garcia didn't tell us fully what happened" Emily nodded "Which would you like to know" she gave a weak smile not fully wanting to explain everything knowing how much it would upset them both.

Sandy watched the play of emotion run over Emily's eyes as she spoke "Everything you want to tell us, but let's just start with how my baby girl is" she said her voice full of tears, Emily nodded as they all sat down, Emily let out a slight sigh as she spoke,

Emily explained everything and also what they needed to know she looked at Sandy "I just want to see her" Emily admitted as Sandy ran her fingers through her hair comforting her.

Anthony looked at them both as he spoke "Let me go and find out how long it will be till she has been moved" Emily nodded as she spoke to Sandy "I have told them to put her in a private room"

Sandy chuckled slightly "They don't know who you are do they" Emily smirked "Sandy I want to take her home as soon as I know she is out of the woods" Sandy nodded in understanding "I know, she hates this town Emily" Emily nodded "I think she will hate it a lot more now" Emily said sadly.

Anthony spotted the rest of the team after he had spoken to the nurse, "I think Emily would be grateful of that coffee Morgan" Anthony said kindly as they all finally made it back into the waiting room

"What did you find out?" Emily asked as soon as Anthony opened the door "they are just getting her comfortable and the doctor will come and get you soon" he said with a reassuring voice.

Emily nodded as she looked at the team her eyes falling onto Hotch as she spoke "I'm sorry for saying that Hotch" she said honestly to which he just nodded as Morgan handed her a coffee.

"We have made her comfortable, we are keeping her sedated for a while so we can get her rehydrated if you would like to follow me I will show you her room, Mrs Prentiss, we have arranged a bed to be brought down for you since you made it clear you wouldn't be leaving" He smiled softly "Thank you" Emily smiled softly as she looked at her team and family.

"Can I have a few moments and then" Emily muttered out as Sandy interrupted her "We will be here take your time" she smiled softly. Though they all wanted to see JJ, they knew Emily needed some private time with her first.

Emily slowly entered, desperate to see her wife alive but frightened at how badly she had been injured. JJ looked peaceful. She lay perfectly still, swathed in soft white blankets, her two arms in casts bent at ninety degrees resting on her stomach. She sat gently on the edge of the bed and reached to grasp JJ's fingers in her own.

Emily leaned down and planted a feather-light kiss on JJ's forehead, "My sweet girl. I'm here. I love you baby so much" Emily said as she rested her head slightly on the bed to control her thoughts, she looked back at her wife as she spoke "Guess I best let the rest of the team come and see you, your mom and dad are here aswell sweetie" Emily said softly as she placed a soft kiss on her forehead before getting everyone to follow her back to the room.

"Morgan could you please, get our go-bags from the hotel please?" Emily asked as she handed him the keys to their room.


	111. Chapter 111

**Chapter 111**

JJ had been in and out of it for the past few days managing to stay awake longer but every time she woke Emily had to reassure her she was safe, JJ kept asking to go home getting more and more frustrated each time she was told no by the nurses.

Emily was getting more and more worried as it went on, she knew JJ needed to be home and out of here, to a place she felt safe, she hated seeing the hurt and pain flash in her eyes each time they said no

'I guess sleep can only last so long, my eyes feel so heavy, I guess they haven't hit me today either that or I am dead but I can feel something holding me' "NOO!" JJ screamed causing Emily to bolt upright "Shh, it's just me Jen your safe I promise" Emily said as calmly as she could as dull blue eyes stared at her.

Emily ran her finger gently through her hair as she whispered "Your safe baby I promise" a small smile touched JJ's lips as she spoke "I knew you'd fine me" her voice barely a whispered "I always will my sweet girl" Emily smiled softly "Here have a sip of this sweetie it will help your throat" Emily said as she placed the straw against her lips.

"How long" JJ rasped "You have been in hospital three days sweetie" Emily said as she placed a soft kiss on her forehead "Em" JJ said softly, Emily looked at her "You scared me Jen" Emily said honestly "Sorry" Emily couldn't help but chuckle "Next time you never go anywhere alone you hear me" JJ nodded "I love you so much Jen"

Emily said as she rested her head next to JJ's "love you too" JJ said though her voice was drowsy "You get some rest baby okay" Emily said softly as she held onto her fingers "Want to go home" JJ whispered as sleep took back over.

The soft chuckle pulled Emily's eyes away from JJ as she turned to face the door "Did I just hear her already ask to go home again?" Morgan said as he walked in, Emily sighed "You say I'm bad?" Morgan gave her a soft smile "Emily stop beating yourself up about this, she will"

Emily placed her finger on his lip as she looked at him "Morgan I need to get some air" Morgan nodded you want me to get Garcia to come and sit in here till you get back?" he asked kindly "Please" Emily said as she started to get up.

Emily picked up her phone as she walked out of the door, her eyes falling over JJ's body before she closed it softly "Morgan the second she wakes if I am not back come get me!" Morgan placed his hand on her arm "I will, and where you will be?" Emily smiled softly "Near the entrance I need to make a phone call"

"Ambassador Prentiss please" Emily said to the woman who picked up her phone "Sorry she is in a meeting right now can I take a message and she will ring you back" the voice said as Emily took a deep breath "No you can't take a message and you will disturb her meeting, and tell her that her daughter is on the phone" Emily said sternly

"She has told me unless its" Emily cut her off "If you do not put me through right now I will make sure this is the last job you ever get do I make myself clear and if she really wants a reason tell her that her daughter-in-law is in hospital and that YOU didn't want to disturb her" Emily ranted as her temper finally went.

"This is Ambassador Prentiss" Elizabeth said firmly "I see she couldn't even be bothered to tell you it was me" Emily said the anger still laden in her voice "Emily! What is it?" Elizabeth said as she heard her daughters tone. "Jennifer she's in hospital" Emily said as her voice broke

"Sweetheart is she okay? Where are you?" "East Allegheny" Emily paused slightly "Mom she wants to go home" Elizabeth closed her eyes as she spoke "Emily is she okay?" she asked again

"Physically no, mentally no, she needs to be away from here mom and" Elizabeth could hear Emily's sobs "Emily darling tell me what happened and then we can work the rest out okay, I can cut my trip short if I need to" Emily couldn't help the smile across her lips hearing her mother say that.

Emily explained everything to Elizabeth about the case and about JJ being taken "Emily I will ring you back let me make some phone calls" "Thank you and Mother" "Yes?" "That woman who answered the phone" Emily said with a slight harshen to it "I will deal with that as well, Emily look after her and answer your phone" Emily chuckled slightly "Mom Sarah doesn't know yet" "I understand goodbye darling"

Emily smiled to herself as she let the coolness attack her skin a slight shiver coursed through her body as she took in the day light, she jumped slightly as she felt someone touch her shoulder gently "I brought you a coffee" Sandy smiled "Thank you" She took a seat next to Emily as she gently rubbed her back "Have you spoken to your Mother yet?" she enquired to which Emily just nodded

"Emily I know she wants to go home and I know you do as well me and Anthony know being here will do her or you no good" she said honestly as Emily gave her a weak smile "I do and she does, but she is your daughter" Emily said softly "And I only want what is best for her and she wont heal here"

Emily looked into the same blue eyes and smiled sadly "Emily we are a short plane journey away and we are also a phone call away but it is you she needs not us, she will only get angry if" Emily sighed softly "I know I just"

Sandy chuckled "Emily you and your children are what she needs not us and we fully understand that, think about it but don't hold back making arrangements to get her home on account of us" Sandy said as Emily frowned slightly "She isn't ready to travel yet" Emily said sadly

"Give it a day or two and then let us know" Sandy said "Will you" Sandy laughed "Jennifer was right when she said you think of everyone else before yourself" "She told you that" Emily said puzzled "Let's go and see our girl, Morgan said she is awake and asking for you" Emily nodded as they both made their way back inside.

Emily and Sandy could hear her voice half way down the hall causing Emily to half run towards her room but stopping dead "I want to go home, I do not care how you do it but you make it happen Garcia" JJ said firmly as Emily opened the door

"Jennifer" Emily said with a raised eyebrow "You aren't able to get on the jet like that" Emily pointed out as JJ pouted "make it happen Em please" JJ's eyes where panicked and full of fear as she walked over to her "I am working on it, or should I say Mother is" Emily said as she gently stroked her cheek.

JJ leaned in to her touch as best as she could without it hurting "Could you guys give us a few minute's please" Emily asked as she looked at her team and JJ's parents "We will be outside" Emily nodded as she looked back at JJ.

"How you doing baby" Emily asked softly "I would feel better if I was away from here Emily" JJ said again pleading with her "I know and believe me Jen I want you as far away from here as possible" Emily said as her lips softly touch her "Hold me?" JJ asked as she looked at her wife "Always sweetheart" Emily said as she gently wrapped her arm around her so she could rest against her chest, letting Emily's heartbeat soothe her back to sleep.

The ringing from Emily's phone disturbed her from her sleep as she answered in a whisper "Prentiss" "Emily?" her mother asked as she tried to listen "yes mom it's me, Jennifer is asleep" Emily said softly as she ran her fingers through her hair "I have managed to sort you some transport out" Emily couldn't help but smile "Thank you" Emily said her voice fully of more happiness than she could ever convey

"They will be with you in the morning, Emily she will have to stay at the hospital for a few days, but they know she is my daughter-in-law and I have sent in the best to make sure she will be well cared for, Dr Grant has been informed and will be with the air ambulance to bring you both home" Elizabeth said

"Thank you Mother" Emily said softly "And Emily, let Sarah know what has happened, I have cut this trip short and I will be home in a couple of days to help Isabella with the twins" Emily sighed softly as JJ began to wake up "Em?" she rasped softly

"One second mother" Emily said softly "Hey sweetheart" Emily said softly "Who you talking to?" Emily rolled her eyes "Mother" JJ brightened up slightly "Can we go home?" though her voice was she horse Emily couldn't help but laugh

"Mother can you speak to Jennifer and tell her" Elizabeth laughed slightly "Of course" as Emily handed the phone to her wife "You will be transferred in the morning Jennifer, how are you holding up" she asked kindly "I just want to go home" JJ said weakly "you will be soon I promise" Elizabeth said as she smiled grateful to hear JJ's voice though she could hear the distance in her voice "You will be with your children soon Jennifer I promise" JJ smiled softly as she handed the phone back to Emily "Mom I need to go, I will ring you once we have landed" Emily said as Elizabeth said goodbye.


	112. Chapter 112

**Chapter 112**

**How to heal Jennifer's style**

JJ had somewhat closed down, she sat in silence most of the day her body was sore so she was unable to get comfortable, the nightmares woke her in hot sweats, crying, Emily held her as she would sob uncontrollably into her.

Jane and Morgan helped soothe her, Elizabeth helped as much as she could but Jennifer won't allow it, not because she didn't like her, it was about trust and right now the only person she trusted was Emily, she had even pulled away from Garcia.

Garcia tried to comfort her and be there for her, but JJ would brush her off using the familiar words that scream I am not really but I will tell you **'I am fine'** because it's easier. Though it hurt her deeply each time Garcia would try her hardest. Emily would tell her to give her time, wishing JJ knew it was only friendship not pity her friend was offering.

She didn't want to see anyone, she couldn't help feeling dirty knowing the team had seen and knew about her past she closed her eyes slightly as the soft loving voice pulled her out of her thought "Baby tell me what I can do to help you please" JJ looked at her for a moment before she turned her head slightly "I want to feel Em" she whispered as she let the tears fall.

Emily carefully wrapped her arms around her so her body was flush against her "Tell me how and I will do it baby" Emily whispered in her ear. "Just hold me and don't let go" JJ said as the sob ripped through from her chest.

JJ wanted one thing and that was for Emily to make her hers again, to wash away the touches of their hands on her body, to make the dirty feeling go away, but she couldn't ask that not yet, she would let Emily hold her. And kiss her but she would flinch slightly, which broke Emily's heart, but she also understood.

Emily for her part had gone back to how she was before her own attack strong and guarded, though she wouldn't be with Jennifer. She had reaffirmed the strong bond with Morgan. She wouldn't tell him everything, but she allowed him in again, which Morgan was relieved to have the Emily he knew back.

She refused point blank to go back to work, informing Hotch that until she knew JJ was comfortable and safe she wouldn't and if he wanted to fire her because of it he could. Which Hotch had told her to take all the time she needed, but he had to get someone else on a temporary basis until they both returned to work, Emily had also agreed to help with the consults, though she would work from home which he gladly agreed.

Reid had been round to their house often to keep JJ company, which Emily would smile at, as JJ's eyes would light up at him. Which even Reid was extremely grateful for, Emily and JJ knew he couldn't cope losing another member of his family, he was innocent and sweet and JJ had always been a mother figure to him. They would spend the evenings playing word games and talking about nothing in general.

JJ refused though to speak to her mom and dad stating she wasn't ready to talk to them yet and she couldn't face them, which they all could understand, though it had hurt Sandy at first, but knowing her daughter like she did; it was JJ's way of healing.

Sandy had told Emily that this is how JJ was after she was attacked the first time, and that she would come around in time and not to worry too much, though Emily could not help but worry about her.

JJ was not able to stay in a room on her own, and if Emily was gone too long she would panic and if she had fallen asleep. And if Emily wasn't there with her she would scream, which Emily had learnt the first night home, she had gone to the bathroom leaving JJ safely asleep, only for JJ to wake up from the mist of a nightmare screaming for her.

Emily had finally managed to get JJ to agree to see a counsellor, which had been an intense argument to which JJ had stormed out the room, only to run back into Emily's waiting arms.

Rossi had made Emily chuckle slightly as he would turn up most nights with meals for them both, he had also become very friendly with Isabella, and they had begun to spend more and more time together. Which Emily didn't know whether to be happy or concern with it due to his past relationships but for now, her main thoughts were with her wife and her children.

JJ had shocked Emily when she refused to allow Hotch in and refused to talk to him, which worried them both deeply. Emily had assured him that she would come round in time, though she was the first to admit she could not understand why she refused to speak to him.

But after a week of her being home and her bruising finally lessoning to the point Emily was able to touch her without her wincing, she looked at her as she laid across her lap "I am sorry baby" Emily looked at her puzzled "Why on earth are you saying sorry?" Emily asked totally taken back by the comment.

"For going on my own" Emily frowned slightly "Oh, sweetheart that was not your fault, you thought he was a friend someone you could trust" Emily said softly as she ran her finger through her hair. "I didn't listen to you though, I didn't listen to Hotch," JJ said firmly.

"I want you to listen to me Jennifer" Emily said as she looked lovingly in to unsure blue eyes "None of this was your fault, this was out of your control, it was out of our control, so please don't blame yourself for this my sweet girl, I love you so much but you cannot beat yourself up over it"

JJ gave her a half smile "I can't help but blame myself Emily" JJ admitted, "Jennifer, the wheels had been set in motion over 20 years ago. Trevor had so much pent up anger and everyone and I mean everyone. He blamed he used our job and your kind heatedness to take out his anger and pain, but you cannot blame yourself"

"Tommy took advantage of an extremely messed up kid and made his own hate Trevor's. He used him the same why he blamed you for his father being killed. This was not your fault either" JJ nodded slightly "I know this Em just" Emily smiled as she wrapped her arms more tightly around her body "Your mind is telling you it is" JJ chuckled "I hate profilers" JJ said "it's not profiling it is knowing you and loving you Jennifer, so much." Emily said softly

"Emily can we go to bed and" JJ blushed slightly as Emily chuckled "Jennifer Prentiss you do not need to ask, you are my wife. And if that is what you want and need I will give" JJ bit her lip slightly "or you can do whatever you want," Emily said as she leaned down capturing her lips into a soft loving kiss.


	113. Chapter 113

**Chapter 113**

'**You know that to me every day is a blessing, it always has been. It is how I have dealt with many things, which have happened over the years. Though with our job I never let it kill my heart the ability to care and too love.**

**I look at what happened to Gideon in the end. He lost everything the woman he loved, though the truth is in this job we open ourselves up to it. We in our line of work can become the hunted just mine started when I was a teenager.**

**Emily has and always will be my rock. However, it is 11 months since the roles reversed there. But I look her now and she is just a beautiful and radiant as the first day I met her, but now she is 10 times stronger than she was.**

**I am truly grateful for the many things in my life. My loving, caring, romantic wife for one. Who would have thought Emily Prentiss a romantic? I know I did not, but she is. If she was a man she would be a perfect gentlemen though I would never tell her that! I love the butch look she has. But I also love the feminine side of her.**

**I am so grateful for our children. Sarah guarded and strong like her mother, but she has allowed me in to her heart. Emily compartmentalizes everything but I guess I do to a point.**

**Should I have let this break me? Is that what they think that I will not be able to cope? Emily is the only person I know who does not treat me as if I need to be put in a bubble! **

**Yes, it hurt. Yes, it has brought back things I had long since dealt with. Yes, I have nightmares! However, who wouldn't? I mean being taken by someone being whipped and beaten. It truly does leave a scar. However, I cannot allow it to consume me to take over my life. Moreover, I will not allow it to either!**

**However, in doing it am I closing myself off from the people who love me and care for me? I cannot even speak to my parents right now and yet I need my mom so badly. I am so lost right now. I am drowning in an abyss of darkness of pain and horror, she keeps me calm but all I want to do is scream hit out let my feelings be seen but I can't do it. **

**Am I that weak that I cannot allow myself just to express myself in kicking the hell out of something? On the other hand, is it because I know I just do not have it in me? Can I go back to my job, which I love so much? On the other hand, will this haunt me on every case? Will I put them all in danger if I as they say freak out? Nevertheless, I know with her at my side I will be fine.' **

"Jennifer?" Emily said as she walked back into the bedroom "Everything okay?" JJ smiled at her "Just thinking baby" Emily smiles as she sits on the bed next to her, JJ's arms snaked around her as her fingers ran over her skin.

Emily shivered slightly at the touch as she leaned more into her "You're so beautiful Emily," JJ whispered into her ear, as Emily rested her head against her shoulder gently placing a kiss on her neck.

"I want you" JJ husked softly causing Emily to look at her slightly confused "You always have me baby" JJ smiled softly "That I do but right now I need you baby please" JJ said softly as her fingers snaked up her torso.

"I told you darling you can do whatever you want or whatever you need to do" Emily said with a soft smile as JJ cupped her breast gently causing Emily to moan slightly against her.

JJ guided Emily onto the bed fully getting her to lay down, Emily looked into stormy blue eyes as she took hold of her wrists placing them above her head, "Leave them there Emily, please" JJ asked softly, to which Emily nodded.

If this was what JJ need, Emily was happy to give, to let her do what she wanted, though part of her worried slightly that JJ was tryong to push but she would ask questions later for now she would do as requested and lay there with her hands above her head looking into stormy blue eyes… JJ need something and to Emily it looked as though even she was not 100% sure what she wanted.

JJ smiled softly as she looked into loving but concern chocolate eyes, no words were spoken as JJ captured Emily's lips into a forceful kiss, which took Emily by surprise.

Though she allowed it Emily realized on some level what JJ was doing as she passively opened her mouth to allow the blonde to dominate her. JJ pulled back slightly as she began feathering kisses along her jaw line, she nibble gently on her ear lobe before soothing it with her tongue. Emily could not help the slight moan that escaped her lips.

JJ slowly made her way along her delicate neck nipping gently with her teeth before soothing it with her tongue. Emily whimpered slightly under her as JJ whispered softly "Shh, baby, it's okay" her soft gently voice calmed her somewhat as JJ nipped and sucked against her pulse point. Her fingers, working on removing her blouse.

Emily gripped he pillow above her head to restrain herself from moving to touch her. JJ carried on as she kissed along her collarbone, she spoke gently as she made her request "This needs to come off darling" JJ said with a slight smirk.

Emily nodded as JJ helped her strip out of her clothes "Jennifer" Emily said, it was a slight question, JJ looked at her for a moment "I need this baby" she said softly, Emily nodded as she laid back down.

JJ carried on again kissing her collarbone gently as her fingers ran over her breasts, her nails scrapping gently against her nipple, Emily moaned softly as JJ continued to kiss down her body, along her shoulder her tongue dragging along her arms causing goosebumps to rise on her skin.

She took each digit into her mouth sucking gently before releasing it with a soft pop before making her way back up her arm and repeating the same action along her other, Emily moaned deeply under her touch.

Kissing her way down she dragged her tongue through the canal between her breasts, before kissing and nipping her soft delicate skin as her fingers rolled her other nipple gently. Slowly she wrapped her lips around Emily's taut nipple as she gently suckled. As Emily to moaned her name.

JJ nipped her nipple gently as she washed her tongue over it, moaning gently against her skin as she kissed her way to her other breast repeating the same action.

Moving her slightly running her tongue over her torso, she mused at her muscles, which rippled underneath her, dipping her tongue into her navel, Emily whimpered slightly as she gripped the pillow tightly.

JJ looked up at her for a moment smiling gently as their eyes locked with one another, seeing nothing but trust and love in her eyes JJ broke the contact as she moved down her body.

JJ gently moved her legs apart as she trailed kisses along her groin and down her inner thigh, causing Emily to nearly scream her name, "God baby" Emily rasped under her intense ministrations. A smile crossed her lips as she made her way down her legs, gently mapping each quiver each moan and gasp that came from her wife.

Carefully she made her way back to her centre as Emily squirmed slightly under her "Mmm, I love you Emily" JJ moaned into her core. Emily could not help but tense slightly as JJ settled herself in-between her legs.

JJ blew cool air over her core, before her tongue feathered over her folds teasingly, JJ moaned into her, as Emily moaned louder. Her body highly attuned and aroused as she felt a tongue run up the full length of her core.

JJ moaned as she breathed in the smell of her arousal gently coxing her clit from the hood as her tongue ghosted over it before gently taking it between her lips.

Emily gasped as she tensed slightly as she gripped the pillows tighter; Emily was flushed with arousal as she moaned loudly she was already close to her climax.

"Yes, Jennifer, yes" she almost chanted as JJ dipped her tongue into her core, before returning back to sucking and nipping on her clit, slowly and gently JJ ran her finger through her folds her mouth never breaking contact she eased two fingers in to her centre as she gently pushed her in to her climax.

She waited for the waves of her climax to settle as she removed her fingers. Emily moaned softly at the loss of contact.

As JJ started to trail kisses up towards her lips pulling her into a passionate kiss running her tongue along JJ's lower lip to be allowed entry which JJ was all too willing to give, gently she pulled away when the need for air became too much for them she smiled softly into swirling blue eyes. "Wow!" Emily murmured as they broke apart.

JJ curled up next to her, as her fingers ran across her stomach "thank you" she whispered "For what sweetheart" Emily said as she ran her fingers lovingly through her hair. JJ smiled as she leaned more into her as a single tear slipped from Emily eye, she nuzzled against her hair "I love you" Emily whispered as JJ remained silent.


	114. Chapter 114

**Chapter 114**

**Denial.**

In the denial stage, we refuse to believe what has happened. We try in our mind to tell ourselves that life is as it was before our loss. We can even make believe to an extent by re-enacting rituals that we used to go through with our loved one.

'**I told them, and myself, that I was fine. Fine! Just fine. Can we please not talk about it anymore? **

**However, here is the thing I have discovered: I might have buried this story, but it was not dead. It was still alive, and it grew in that deep place I put it. Like a vine from some mutant seed, all twisted and ugly. **

**In addition, as it grew, it strangled a lot of other stuff in me that should have been growing. It killed my trust, my confidence. It almost killed my sense of who I was. Though I have overcome this once'**

"Jennifer I need you to tell me as much as you can and can remember about what happened to you 16years ago" JJ sighed but she had agreed to this so here is was in the room of one Dr Scott victim and rape counsellor

"I remember everything that happened that night" JJ said as she looked down at her hands; she had been coming here twice a week while Emily would wait in the waiting room for her, she had explained why she was here but now the Dr wanted her to speak it and with that she knew it meant reliving it.

"I use to hang around with the girls that I played soccer with" she frowned slightly "we went camping kind of our last adventure as a group" she paused slightly "She was also my girlfriend, her name was Carly" JJ said in a choked up sob.

"There were always rumours around town, you see ten years before a group of girls went missing, and they still, well they hadn't found them, but they have now" JJ rambled slightly

"We set our camp site up near the old farm house" she glanced up at Dr Scott as she tried to gather her thoughts.

"It was a good evening we joked laughed by the small camp fire we had set up" she swallowed hard as she tried to keep her emotions at bay "a few hours later we were approached by" she shook her head trying to not show her fear

"He was from the town over he spoke to us told us to be safe, and then he left or so we thought" JJ sighed

"We went to bed in our tents a few hours later, I was woken up by someone's hands around my neck" JJ wiped her eyes stopping the tears from falling "He restrained me tied my legs and hands so I was only able to kneel or lay down, before dragging me out side"

"He lined us all up outside the tent" she swallowed "the boys that were with us, got knocked out as me and Carly were placed in the back of his pickup.

"We were taken to what I can only describe as a barn, he tied" she let out a dry chuckle as she tried to keep her emotions at bay "well to what I can only say was a board but more like a circle as he was able to get to front and back"

"He whipped us both" she ducked her head down "if it wasn't the whip if was his fists, he told us how unclean we were, and how he was going to cure us" JJ half sobbed from the memory

"He, he" she swallowed hard as she closed her eyes. "he raped us both" she turned away in shame "I still don't understand why it happened or why after he in his words 'cured us', he dumped us both outside the hospital" JJ let out a have laugh "You know if he hadn't had done that he wouldn't have been caught"

JJ sighed "But now I know why and that he didn't act alone"

'**I hope this will explain my thousand-yard stare that I seem to have now, I hope it explains all those times I vanished into myself. Can you forgive me? **

**This time, though, I did not feel nervous or sick. I felt detached from my body, observing myself. I felt like I was watching a character in a cop thriller, a confident woman who knew what she was doing. Before, she was killed.**

**Fear protects us from threats. However, fear is such a powerful, primal response; it appears even when no dark cave is at hand.**

**I tried to bury my fear, but denying it did not make me fearless. I had to unearth it, and understand it, to change things. In here I am safe to say everything I could never say at home or work'**

The door to the room opened and JJ finally emerged as she walked over to Emily; Emily knew the routine, JJ would come out the doors not say a word, take her hand and lead her straight to the car, which Emily would allow. However, today was different.

JJ stopped as they reached the car, turning to face Emily as she looked into loving caring soulful eyes, she couldn't help the small smile "I love you so much Em" JJ whispered softly as Emily held sorrowful eyes in hers.

The life and light was slowly coming back into those swirling blue eyes, but Emily knew she had not just what happened at the beginning of the month but what happened those 16years ago. Emily had been, slightly taken aback when JJ had informed her that she never got help when she was raped. However, this time she asked for it, she wanted the help she needed it.

"Can we go and get the twins and go for a walk to the park Em?" JJ asked softly "Of course we can" JJ smiled softly "Can we feed the ducks" Emily couldn't help but chuckle "You can even feed the fish if you want" JJ rolled her eyes playfully as she slapped Emily's arm.

They made the short trip back to their home "Are you waiting here?" Emily asked as she went to get out the car. JJ glared at her slightly "I think I gave you the wrong idea Emily," JJ said with a pointed look "I meant we are walking to the park and leaving the car at home"

Emily rolled her eyes playfully as she replied, "Well my love you have to tell me these things so I do not assume" she stuck her tongue out as they both heading inside with JJ calling behind her "You are a brat Emily Prentiss" Emily laughed "And yet you still love me"

"Pretty sure of yourself there aren't you!" JJ teased "Pretty much yes" Emily said with a slight smirk. They got both babies settled in to the double buggy as Emily's eyes softened as they lingered on Morgan "He will be fine Emily and no matter what happens we will manage okay" JJ said as they both looked at him.

They made their way slowly around the park as Emily try to broach the subject with her wife "How did it go today sweetie?" JJ stopped mid-step with the buggy as she looked at Emily.

"Not great but not too bad" JJ paused for a moment "She does think I may not be in denial anymore though" she mused with a sad smile "Jen I so proud of you, you do know that right?" Emily said softly "You have said that a few times baby" she smirked as she looked down at Jane who was staring at her.

"Em, right now I am just so grateful, for you our children and that is all I can manage, it's like re-living it all over again," JJ admitted as she smiled at her daughter "Jen, is it helping any?" JJ looked into soft brown eyes as she spoke "It is, and looking at it I wish I had dealt with some of it back then" she let a half smile ghost her lips, before they carried on along the pond.


	115. Chapter 115

**Chapter 115**

**ANGER **

**We get angry. The anger can manifest itself in many ways. We can blame others for our loss. We can become easily agitated, having emotional outbursts. We can even become angry with ourselves. Care must be taken here not to turn this anger inwards. Release of this anger is a far better way to cope.**

"WHAT WAS I THINKING?" Were the words resounding through JJ's head as she dug through the black hole, that was her rather large handbag or mini suitcase as the Emily called it!

JJ knew that she would probably be more successful if she was calmer and took time to take out some of her belongings as opposed to just grabbing random things and trying to feel her way around the bag.

However, calm was one thing that she was not. She was upset, more upset than she remembered being in the recent past and in, and the deep recesses of her mind this knowledge troubled her.

However, she pushed everything into the back of her mind and concentrated on the anger... She honestly needed to start cleaning her bag more often or maybe just reducing the size of the bag...

The growl that escaped JJ's throat was enough to inform her team that it was time to make a hasty retreat. While most of the time JJ was the calmest and sweetest person in the world when she was angry - she was ANGRY!

Most of them had learnt the lesson the hard way in their early days of working with her and now knew not to push the petite blonde beyond her limits. "Ma?" Sarah said as she walked fully into the kitchen.

"WHAT!" JJ yelled Sarah looked at her before deciding out of the kitchen would be the safest bet for her right now. "Nothing Ma, I'll just go and" JJ sighed "Fine do what you want" JJ closed her eyes again as she searched through her bag.

"Jen, what on earth are you looking for?" Emily asked softly, as JJ glared at her, "Like you would care" JJ scowled, Emily looked in shock for her part as she whispered "I've always cared" JJ head snapped around and before she even had registered what had happened, Emily was leaning against the door holding the side of her face.

"Oh, God, Emily" JJ said as she realized she had just thrown the book she was looking for straight at her, Emily looked at her for a moment not wanting to move or speak. JJ's eyes begged her "I'm so sorry baby" all Emily could do was shake her head and give a half smile.

"Emily please" Emily just looked at her sadly, "Jen if you can't talk to me, that's fine, but don't take it out on our children, despite everything Sarah wants to be there for you and so do I" Emily said honestly.

JJ looked at her sadly "Jennifer I know you don't mean to take your anger out on us. And believe me I know you are trying to cope. Just don't push your daughter away she loves you so much, we both do, you just need to allow us to help" Emily said with a soft smile as her cheek began to throb.

JJ walked over to her gently resting her hand on her cheek, Emily leaned into her touch "I am so sorry Em, I didn't mean to"

Emily placed a finger on her lip to still her as she spoke "I know you didn't, so please don't say sorry" Emily said turning her head to place a soft kiss on her hand.

"You know, if you want to get rid of your anger I have a great way, and it has always worked so well in the past" Emily said with a slight smirk "What?" JJ asked, "Kicking the crap out of Morgan always helps" Emily said with a wink "And I am more than sure he will be willing"

Morgan looked at Emily slightly sceptical "Why am I doing this and not you princess?" Morgan asked again, "Because with me she would hold back, with you she won't and you are the only person I know who can cope with it" Emily said softly. "You owe me," he said with a pointed look.

So they all were stood in the middle of the FBI gym, Morgan had started to warm up; even Morgan knew JJ could fight and hit like.

Emily could, but he also knew she need this in some way and looking at his partners black eye he could only guess where it had come from, though Emily would never admit it.

Emily was silent as she watched them both. JJ knew what she was doing, He feinted left, made a quick strike at her side, then lunged, the move very reminiscent of a football tackle.

JJ suddenly was not there anymore, though. Just as he had reached the moment where he could no longer change his direction, JJ had sidestepped left, bringing up one knee. The breath was yanked from his chest, JJ pressed up and over, using the momentum of his charge to send him flying.

The impact was audible as he hit the mat on his stomach, leaving him stunned for just a second before he rolled and got back to his feet, looking at the other agent more warily this time.

JJ was too fast for him, though. More than once the blonde caught herself holding her breath, afraid that one of his blows really would land, but somehow, with an amazing economy of motion, she was just never, where Derek expected her to be.

They swapped blows for blows as Emily closed her eyes to move out of the gym; in honesty, she was praying Morgan could get something out of her where she was not able.

"So" Morgan said as he punched JJ's shoulder "So?" she questioned as she moved slightly to the right "Going to tell me why we are here?" Morgan asked, as JJ's fist connected with his faces "No" she fired back as Morgan dodged her.

"Okay" he smirked slightly as his fist connected with her chest "How about now" he mused, "I am not Emily" she screamed as she punched him squarely on his jaw "Oh I know that" he said with a slight smirk.

"So how she get the black eye" he mused as JJ faltered slightly "I…" JJ looked away as Morgan pushed saying something he should not, "Do I need to make a report?" "NO!" JJ screamed, "So you didn't hit her?" he mused again.

"A book" she admitted weakly as Morgan managed to pin her to the ground "fall off a shelf?" JJ shook her head "You did it?" his heart broke when JJ nodded "Why" her eyes fell on him as she spoke "It's my fault all of it"

Morgan smiled "The book part yes" he raised his eyebrow "The other no, not your fault" he said softly, "You do on the other hand need an outlet Jay.

Or if people keep seeing Prentiss black and blue some questions will be raised" Morgan warned softly "It was" JJ closed her eyes in shame "Hey listen to me, that woman would walk to hell and back for you, she never told me what happened but I could tell" he said softly


	116. Chapter 116

**Chapter 116**

**BARGAINING & DEPRESSION**

**(Bargaining can be with ourselves or if you are religious, with your god. Often we will offer something to try to take away the reality and pain of what has happened. We may try to make a deal, to have our loved one back as they were before the tragic event occurred. It is only human to want thing as they were before. You may only realize that this is happening to you when someone points it out to you. **

**Depression is a very likely outcome for all people that grieve for a loss. This is what I would consider the most difficult stage of the five to deal with.**

**There can be the feeling listlessness and tiredness. You may be wandering around in a daze, thinking that you are feeling numb. You may be bursting helplessly into tears, seemingly for no reason. Feeling like there is no purpose to life any more. Feeling guilty, as if everything is your own fault. You may find you feel like you are being punished. Pleasure and joy can be difficult to achieve, even from things and activities which you have always gained delight. There can even be thoughts of suicide.)**

Emily stood looking out the window over their back garden as the footfalls came behind her, she always knew the difference between Sarah's and JJ's as she spoke "You okay kiddo" Emily said softly as she stared outside "Mom, I am worried about Ma" Emily nodded "I know, and I am as well" Emily shook her head slightly.

"What can we do Mom it's been weeks" Emily chuckled slightly "Right now Sarah I am just hoping she doesn't leave us?" Emily said as her shoulder sunk slightly "Mom is it that bad?" Emily shrugged slightly.

"I let her shout, scream anything she needs, I have given her the space she has asked for, I just don't know" Emily said as she carried on looking outside, lifting her hand to wipe the silent tears away.

"I don't know what else to do Sarah, I just wish I knew" Emily sighed "In all the time I have known her, I have never seen her like this, distant, angry."

"Where is she mom?" Emily turned slightly "I have no idea, she went out three hours ago, her phone is off" Sarah nodded "Mom you going to be okay?" Emily smiled softly "I will be no matter what happens" Emily said as she turned back to look outside.

"Mom I'll be back" Emily nodded "You go say hi to Adam for me" Emily said her voice slightly wavering "I will" Sarah said as she headed out to her car.

JJ had driven out of town, to the secluded park area; she sat there thinking to herself for a moment before deciding to go for a walk around the lake.

Sarah makes her way through the town, in a hope JJ is where she thinks she might be, in a hope to be able to bring her home even if it was only partly.

Sarah stopped her car next to JJ's grateful that she had been correct in where she would be, but now all she had to do was find her. Which considering the area was not as well travelled, as you would think it to be was not going to be that hard.

Sarah sighed as she remembered the day JJ had brought her here as she followed the same path they had taken.

And there she was, sat on the same bench they both had when Sarah had told her and hers and her mom's past. Slowly she made her way over hoping she would not make her jump. And praying her Ma would not shoot first asks questions later.

But right now Sarah did not know what to do; she just hoped that once she opened her mouth the right words would come.

"Ma" Sarah said softly as she got closer. JJ ignored the voice as she continued to stare across the lake. "Ma" Sarah said again as she got closer.

Sarah stayed away from a little as she started talking. "I remember when you showed me this place" Sarah said softly "It was the first place I knew I could fully trust you and come to you about anything and know you would be there for me"

JJ did not comment or show any sign that she was listening to her as Sarah carried on.

"This was the place I knew I would get to call you my mom, and that you wouldn't hurt me or my mother" JJ flinched slightly

"JJ, I know bad things have happened, trust me I fully understand" Sarah said with a slight sigh "But you can either run from everyone who loves you and wants to help or you can allow us in" her voice pleaded.

"JJ if I lose you I lose mom and I don't know what I would do without you both in my life," Sarah said as she back away slightly.

Sarah's use of her name caught her attention, Sarah had not called her JJ in months and that hit her heart hard.

"You have two children and a wife at home who is already thinking you are leaving her." Like her mother Sarah was able to guard herself when she needed to she could emotionally detach herself from those she loved, so she did not get more hurt.

"When did you find it so hard to talk to her JJ?" Sarah pushed "When did I become JJ again to you Sarah?" JJ asked as her voice was laden with tears.

"You don't seem to answer any more when I say it" Sarah answered honestly "Talk to me, I know you may think I won't understand JJ but just give me a chance please" Sarah almost begged as JJ turned to look at her.

"I wish no one knew" JJ whispered, "I can understand that, Mom said the same thing to me before" JJ sighed, "She thinks you're going to leave" JJ's eyes went wide as she looked at her.

"Why. I've…" Sarah shook her head "You don't talk to her, you don't talk to anyone anymore other than that Dr" Sarah moved slightly closer

"I know what it is like to have something so bad happen to you that you wished you could turn the clock back and just start over wipe it out from the world and never look back at it again"

"If you push mom, she will give up because she would do anything for you and if that meant letting you go she would no matter if it killed her," Sarah said, as she looked straight at her.

"And then I would lose everyone I cared about!" JJ frowned slightly "I'm not pushing her away" JJ said weakly, "yes you are, look at you Mom doesn't know where you are, you have asked her for space and she being mom has given it to you,"

Sarah paused "She got Morgan to allow you to kick the living crap out of him, just so you would snap at her again, YOU are going to lose her if you don't talk to her!" JJ looked at her lost for words

"I want my Ma home, I need my Ma back," Sarah said firmly "And I am not going anywhere until you tell me what is going on in your head Ma"

"I am not like mom I won't allow you to push me to the side-lines like you have everyone else" she paused "So we are both going to stay her until tell me"

JJ let a dry chuckle leave her lips as she looked at Sarah. "You are like her Sarah" JJ pointed out "Stubborn and pig-headed, I know" Sarah said with a slight smirk "But I also know people and I know when they are drowning in pain and are so lost that they need help in finding their way back home"

JJ looked at her for a moment her eyes full of unshed tears "It just hurts Sarah," she finally admitted

Sarah nodded in understanding "I know Ma, but letting it build up like this isn't doing you any good," Sarah said softly as she moved closer

"I blame myself," she whispered, "That I can also understand" Sarah said with a slight smirk.

"Let me ask you something" Sarah said as JJ gave her, her full attention.

"Do you love her?" she asked, JJ was taken aback slightly by the question as she looked at her "Yes!"

"Do you trust her?" she asked again "Yes"

"Then why shut her out" Sarah asked, again taking JJ off guard "I didn't mean to" she said softly.

"Ma, we all have things we would rather forget, but would you like to hear what I think and you can tell me that I am wrong you can shout and scream at me when I have said it but I feel you need to hear it" Sarah said firmly as JJ nodded wrapping her arms around herself.

"If you hadn't of been raped your life would be different, you wouldn't be here, you would be married and you wouldn't have children, you wouldn't work for the FBI, I even doubt you would be as caring and loving as you are" Sarah paused slightly

"The path that you had to take is hard, it hasn't been easy for anyone I have ever met, but this path leads you here. Now if you want to wallow in self-pity and feel sorry for yourself I can't stop you, but then I also have to ask to do you really love our family enough to see that it is your past and not your future"

"And if you was to turn the clock back I wouldn't be standing here with you now, your past does not define who you are or where you go in life, but it shapes you into the person you are and have become and Ma I wouldn't change that for the world"

JJ looked at her intensely as she spoke "You don't know that!" she whisper causing Sarah to laugh somewhat "And if my mom hadn't have gotten so drunk in a club I wouldn't be here, if mom hadn't of gotten raped she wouldn't of had them two adorable babies that are waiting at home for you. Tell me something JJ would you change any of that?"

JJ swallowed deeply as she thought about what Sarah had just said as she shook her head slightly "I wouldn't change you or our family for the world despite everything that has happened"

"Then why are you so hell bent on pushing us all so far away" JJ thought for a moment "You all deserve better" Sarah scoffed "And we don't have a say in this? Let me tell you something, in all my life I have never seen mom so happy, so unguarded and you did that not me not grandma, YOU! You're the one person she allows to see her and you're the one person she needs and you need her as well as much as you will both say I am wrong, you need each other"

"Tell me the one thing you want Ma" Sarah said softly as she looked at her "I want to go home" JJ admitted.


	117. Chapter 117

**Chapter 117**

**ACCEPTANCE **

'**God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference. - Serenity Prayer'**

**You learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil, you have experienced, you can never return. To the carefree, untroubled 'YOU' that existed before this tragedy. However, you will find a way forward.**

Sarah had follow JJ back home as they parked their cars in the driveway "What if she doesn't want to hear it" JJ said her voice unsure, "Ma trust me she will and she does, she is scared that she has lost you" Sarah said softly as she opened the door, closing it gently behind them.

Emily was still stood at the window in her own thoughts, Sarah would have thought she had not have moved if it had not been for the fact that Jane was crying in her arms.

"Shh, sweetheart" Emily cooed softly as she rocked back and forth trying to comfort her daughter "You miss mamma don't you" Emily whispered as Sarah rested her hand on JJ's shoulder.

"I miss her too princess" Emily said weakly not noticing the two of them behind her "What we going to do little one hey" Emily said softly as she placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

The slight noise made her jump "I'm so sorry" JJ whispered, she could hear the tears in Emily's throat and noticed as she tensed slightly. Emily controlled herself slightly not wanting her to see the tears.

"Let me just go and" Sarah walked up to her "I've got her mom, you two just talk please" Sarah said as she took Jane off Emily walking out the room.

Emily turned back to the window trying to shelter her heart and feelings more as she let out a slight sigh.

"Em" JJ started, to which Emily just nodded in response "Please Emily" she turn around slightly "Jen, I just" Emily closed her eyes slightly unsure if she could cope with any more pain.

"I didn't mean to push you so far away and I never meant for you to think I didn't want to be here," JJ said softly as she walked over to her.

"There was a time Jennifer we could talk and you felt comfortable with me enough to share things, but now it's either you screaming at me or" Emily flinched slightly "I just don't know what to do to help you anymore, anything I do seems to make you run further away from me"

"I got so lost Emily," JJ said softly as she wrapped her arms around Emily's waist "I had noticed" Emily said a little colder than she meant to.

"I was always there to help you Jen" Emily sighed "And help you through it, I didn't want to lose you," Emily said unable to control the tears that streamed down her face.

"You haven't lost me Emily" JJ whispered in her ear "I love you so much, I just didn't know what to do or how to say I was drowning"

"I couldn't understand why you still wanted me" Emily wrapped her finger around JJ's as she spoke "I always want you and I always want you to want me"

"I would give my soul for you Jennifer to save you from everything you are going through, but I need you to talk to me and stop shutting me out" Emily said softly

"I don't and I didn't mean to shut you out, I blamed myself Emily for everything I wished I could turn back the clock and make it all go away" JJ paused slightly

"Until a young lady pointed something out to me that made me see I wouldn't and couldn't change anything in the world, because I need you Emily so much, I want to come home" Emily frowned slightly

"This is always and always will be your home Jennifer, and this is your family," Emily said as her body shivered slightly

"I know that now, look at me baby" JJ said pleadingly, Emily turned round looking at her. JJ's heart broke as she saw how much pain was hidden in those chocolate brown eyes "Oh baby" JJ said as she cupped her cheek, "I am so sorry"

JJ's eyes were not as dull as they had been over the past few weeks, she could see the love in her eyes covered in pain "I love you so much Jennifer, don't you ever forget that" Emily said softly as she wrapped her arms around her pulling her into a hug.

"My sweet girl" Emily said softly as she ran her fingers down her back "don't ever doubt that this is your home darling" Emily said softly

"I love you too Emily so much" JJ nuzzled her face into the nook of Emily's neck as she spoke. "I just got so lost and scared, I couldn't stop myself I couldn't breathe without it hurting, and then I hurt you and I never ever wanted to hurt you like that I swear baby," JJ said as she began to sob into her neck.

Sarah stood in the doorway as she watch her two mothers reconnect she could not help but smile. She caught Emily's eye and tried to duck back out the room but the soft voice stops her. "Sarah come here please," JJ whispered.

She walks into the room carefully her eyes never leaving her mother's as she walks over; she wonders how JJ knew she was there in the doorway watching them.

Emily rubs her back gently as JJ turns around she smiles so softly at her as she speaks "Thank you for Sarah for everything" she says softly.


	118. Chapter 118

**Chapter 118**

**JJ's Point of view**

**It is amazing how much can change in eleven months… However, it has!**

So this was it, this was how things were to be I guess I knew but there again I never saw this coming.

**First year…**

The day she came into my life… Elle had left after an… I am not sure you can say self-defence as she said it was… I never fully took to her and well after that, I was somewhat glad she had left…

We had come back from a case and their in my office was this brown-eyed beauty… I had spent the best part of the morning explaining how the BAU worked…

She sat there with her notebook… I found out later she had written nearly every word I had spoken!

I couldn't help the laugh when she asked if there was any coffee in the building since I hadn't even offered her one and it was now three hours later…

Garcia scared her half to death when she came bursting through my door… they both eyed each other up… though I am not fully sure but we all became close…

I would spend my nights at Garcia's talking about the 'mystery' woman… to which Garcia told me to go for it many times because she was almost certain the unsaid woman was interested…

Two months later she let slip that, she knew it was Emily…

**Second Year…**

Things had been going good… aside from she had begun to haunt my every waking dream… I knew she was gay… so did Garcia… Morgan played dumb… acting as though he knew nothing at all…

However, we knew Emily had confided in him, they were partners and best friends…, to top it off they were close…, and they still are thank god…

**End of Second year…**

We had been on a bad case… Emily had been affected badly by it… we said we were going to watch a movie…though she would not grace us she needed to be alone…

I remember being so mad at her when she refused point blank to pick her phone up…

However, when Emily wanted to be alone that girl could fall completely off the grid…, which Garcia had found out more than once…

Then the Monday morning I found out she was missing god it was like someone had ripped my heart out... and twisting it for some sick enjoyment… she was a complete mess when we found her…

I do not think I ever told the team she had flat lined twice… and my heart stopped beating praying they would bring her back to me…

Her mother shocked me as far as everyone knew they did not get alone…

In a better sense, we thought they hated each other… but I can understand why we were lead to believe this…

The more people who thought they were estranged the less chance Emily could be used in some political game.

Then I met Sarah…. When Emily had said that night she had been pregnant at 15, it never dawned on me that she had a child or that she had kept her…

However, after finding out what had happened in their past I fully understood why she kept it from me…

Then she told me she was pregnant… I had always known something else had happened in that basement... Though I also knew, Emily had to tell me in her own time…

However, that day she collapsed my heart stopped beating yet again… she nearly died giving birth…

Moreover, that was the day she lost the chance to bare any more children… However, she did not and never has seemed to mind…

Then she pulled away only then did I find out what kind of sick father she had… I still cannot understand how in the world Emily has managed to be the woman I see before me today…

However, it does also explain the guardedness of her and the unable to fully trust or let people in…

That though is something I love… At work, she is guarded and I cannot seem to see what she is thinking but the second that hotel door closes…

The walls tumble down… However, it is normally me, that will cry in her arms…

Then yet again, she was kidnapped…. Moreover, she had seemed to me at that point she had given up on everything…

That was also the day she showed me the letter, Richard had sent her… In addition, I will never allow anyone to upset my wife or children… Even if that means I end up in jail.

Then this happened, we were finally getting somewhere… Emily had near enough healed and I am not talking about anything you could see unless you knew the sparkle in her eyes, which I do…

Then we went on that blasted case…. The one that has ripped me apart from my very soul… The one that has now made me question if I will be able to do my job!

However, maybe in time I will be able to… Emily has made me promise I will take baby steps with it all and not push myself...

I cannot believe what I have done to her in these past weeks… Two black eyes… busted nose… and lip…

I became something I never thought I would become aggressive... I know I have hurt her deeply because she now sometimes will flinch if I lose my temper even slightly… I see the flash of fear in her eyes and it breaks my heart!

Then we have our little champ… right now Emily is at the hospital with him as the doctors run some more tests… They have informed us he is not developing as well as he should be…

Hole in his tiny heart, which he will need an operation on or it is looking that way, they also think he may have more medical problems….

Then there is Jane… She is such a sweet baby and doing really well, which we are, both grateful for… Though they have slight concerns about her but with that we will have to wait and see until she is older…

However, as we have said no matter what happens we will cope and deal with it…

Then there is Sarah… She is so strong and just like Emily… She really is her double! I am so glad she put me in my place though the second she called me JJ it ripped at my heart…

The day she asked me if she could call me Ma… I swear I was high… She sees me just like Emily her mom something I will always be grateful for…

I have changed so much but nothing has changed really… However, I am getting there one day at a time…

I will say I am glad Emily has gone back to work even though she has asked to stay back when they are called away which Hotch agrees with...

Because if I am honest I do not think, I would be able to cope if she was not here at night…

I have started to talk to Garcia again letting her back in… I have missed her but it was me, who had pushed her away...

She says she understands but I know deep down I have hurt her… I have hurt so many people in such a short space of time and yet they all tell me they understand…


	119. Chapter 119

**Chapter 119**

"Morgan, is Emily with you?" Morgan stared at the clock before answering "JJ it's 11pm, I haven't seen her since 6, why?" Morgan asked, "She hasn't come home"

"You two been fighting again?" Morgan asked in a hushed voice so he didn't disturbed Garcia "NO!" she said harshly down the phone "We are fine, aside from the fact I haven't seen her since she left this morning" Morgan closed his eyes as he could hear JJ sighing down the phone "She might have gone for a drink" Morgan said softly.

"Morgan she hasn't been out for a drink on her own in let's just say nearly 12 months" JJ commented, Morgan sighed softly "I have an idea where she will be and JJ try not to worry, I will ring you as soon as I have found her" he promised. "How do you know where to look? We all know she can disappear off the grid," JJ said sadly. "She really isn't that hard to profile," Morgan said softly as he rocked Garcia so she stirred slightly as he cut the phone off.

"You better have a good reason for waking me," Garcia grumbled, as she looked at him "I've got to go out, not sure how long I will be." Garcia looked at him "Is everything okay?" he smiled softly at her "Yes it will be once I get Emily back home," he said softly as he placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

Emily sat looking into her now empty whiskey glass as she signalled to the bar tender to refill her glass. "This is where it all started" Emily said softly "This is where so much changed not just for me but for us all"

Morgan stood behind her silent; she knew he was there without even looking as she continued to speak. It had been a rough case for us all and I needed, just some space away for you all, I couldn't allow you to see me break" Morgan sat next to her asking for two more drinks as the bar tender whispered "She's been here for 5 hours" Morgan just nodded.

"I let my guard down for once in my life, I didn't care about anything, I had panicked the second she flirted back with me" Emily smiled sadly at the memory, then I was gone, then you found me, but in that time everything that I knew was destroyed it was gone, I was no longer sure of myself. I was broken"

Emily downed the whiskey in front of her signalling for another "Then she made all the pain go away, I didn't need to hide myself from her anymore, but it didn't last long. I was pregnant, I hated myself, I hated that she cared I didn't want to be here, but I was too much of a coward to end it all"

She sighed softly as she ran her finger around the rim of the glass, "She took everything in her stride, and she is so strong, you were right I should have told her sooner I should have let her see how much she meant to me. How much I loved her, but you was right when you called me a chicken"

Morgan placed his hand on her shoulder, "Then we got married, everything was going so well, I had the woman I loved in my arms and my life, then the twins came. I think that scared me more than anything in my life, they were so small it was too early for them to be in this world. I should have listened to Jen, when she told me to slow down" she wiped the tears from her face.

"But I couldn't slow down I was drowning and no one noticed, I had given up. Again!" Morgan's phone vibrated in his pocket. However, Emily did not notice as he replied to the text.

"I was brought back to the same feelings I had as a little girl, I was a disappointment, I know I shouldn't feel like I do but he is my father. However, to him I am his mistake and I know I am, I started to believe what he had said. I didn't deserve her, she could do better than this broke shell of a person"

"Then me and Reid went undercover to that stupid ranch, if I am honest I just wanted to be dead at that point, I never saw the point in carrying on. My father wanted nothing to do with me, I knew that already but it still hurt and for Jennifer to look at me with so much love it killed me. Then you came, got me. And knocked my head back on my shoulders. Which believe me I am so grateful for"

"This last case" Emily sighed as Morgan wrapped his arm around her, "I am not even sure I have her back yet. I try so hard to keep it together. Nevertheless, I needed your help because I could not take it anymore and after the third time. When that book hit me and that look of shame and fear in her eyes."

Morgan moved slightly "You didn't even need to ask did you when you saw me. You knew what had happened" Emily said as she downed another glass. "Even know though I can't help but flinch when she loses her temper, even if it just slightly. I know she knows I know she can see the fear in my eyes"

Emily's shoulders shuddered as she tried to keep herself together. "I thought I had lost her. No matter how bad it can get or has. I can't think of losing her, it would kill me, but if she needed me to let her go I would because I love her too much to stand in her way" Morgan rubbed her back gently though he remained silent.

"She is coming back to me slowly, I just miss her so badly Morgan, I never thought I could miss someone as much as I do right now. I can be strong for her. I can and I will be her rock. However, that vacant expression in her eyes. It is though someone has turned the lights off and I can't get her back" Emily finally broke down; she jumped slightly when a slender hand wrapped around her waist as Morgan moved slightly away.

She moved the glass away from Emily standing behind her pulling her close. Emily had tensed the second the arm came around her. Morgan leant over as he kissed her cheek and nodding at the woman behind her. Before he paid the tab and left the two of them alone.

"Let's get you home baby" JJ said softly from behind her just as Emily relaxed into her, she nodded she was emotionally exhausted. JJ ran her fingers softly through her hair as she cupped her cheek "I will always come home to you Emily. And I am so sorry for everything that I have put you through" JJ said as she guided her back to her car.

"I should have come to you instead of taking everything out on you, I should never have punished you for loving me," JJ said as she looked into her deep chocolate eyes that were full of love, compassion and understanding.


	120. Chapter 120

**Chapter 120**

**The past. The present and the future.**

Remembering things of the past helps us to move on with our lives. It also shapes our future… It can either break us or make us stronger and we do in time find the happiness we thought we had lost…

"Please tell us we are off rotation this year" Morgan moaned slightly "We've worked the past two year over the Christmas period" Reid commented "We just want sometime with our loved ones" Garcia said brightly. "And I for one would like to spend it with my lady friend" Rossi said "What you working on number is it five I lost count?" Morgan teased, "That would be three," Reid piped up.

"Hey I hope you don't plan on making your 'lady friend' your wife" Emily scowled. "Whoa! Prentiss you know something we don't?" Garcia grinned "Emily!" Rossi warned, as Emily replied, in a slightly aggravated tone "Don't Emily me." JJ popped her head into the conference room "Is this a private party?" she looked pointedly at Emily.

"Oh we having a party!" Garcia said a little too hyper just as Hotch walked in "Guys settle down and Garcia we are not having a party" he paused for a second "Well not here anyway" he said with a slight smile causing Garcia to squeal and Reid to groan.

Hotch was glad to have his team finally back together again as he spoke. "I would like to express how proud I am of you all. We have had a very hard year" he said looking at Emily and JJ "And we have come through it together as a team as a family," he smiled softly as Rossi spoke "You're getting sentimental on use Hotch or did someone spike your coffee?" causing everyone to laugh.

"Dave" he said, as he glared at him "No, I am just, look I thought at one point we had lost a member of our team, and then I thought we had lost both. It has not been easy for either of these two and I wanted you all to know the way you have dealt and coped shows me what strong people you are and that you are a credit to yourselves. However, I wish you and Garcia would stop hiding your relationship" he smirked causing Emily to laugh and Morgan and Garcia look in shook at each other "How did you" he smiled "I am not the unit chief for no reason I know everything that goes on with you all" he said with a wink.

"Is this the point where you are going to tell us we have yet to work another Christmas?" Emily said in a sad tone. "No this is where I tell you all we have it off and that we are all going out together as a family" Morgan looked at them all puzzled "Hotch? How do you plan on sorting something like that out on such short notice" he asked "Who said I didn't sort this out a few months ago" he said as he kept his face completely emotionless.

"I think you was right Rossi someone spiked his coffee" Emily said as she wrapped her arms around JJ "Your quite baby" Emily whispered in her ear, JJ nodded as she leaned into her. She could not help the tear that built in her eyes.

"Sweetie are you okay?" Garcia said as she looked at JJ "More than okay. I have my family in this room. Well we are missing three of them but I am just happy" Emily pulled her close. "One year on and we are all stronger" Morgan said softly as he looked at his partner and JJ. Emily laughed "Only cause I kick your ass more in the gym now" causing both JJ and Garcia to groan "You two can never sort your issues out without it ending in a fist fight" JJ said firmly causing them both to just shrug

"You think you two could make a new year's resolution not too kick the crap out of each other and learn to just talk?" JJ asked as she dug her knuckle in to Emily's side "Ouch! I guess we could try" "And that will last a week tops" Rossi joked.

"You know two stubborn people with lack of trust in others find it harder to talk and they use physical altercations to get their point across," "Reid" both Emily and Morgan warned. "If you behave we will try not to tease you as much kid" Garcia laughed, "You know they won't and JJ will try and ground them both" she smirked.

"I think we work with children" Rossi smiled "Scary to think these are the most capable minds in the country that can profile anyone who just happens to walk in through our doors" "And actually catch the killer, yes it is very scary" Hotch said. Making all the younger members of the team glared at them both "Remember I can do a 'thing' that will make you both disappear and ruin your credit history" Garcia said jokingly.

"So you said something about a party" Morgan reminded everyone, "Please tell me it is a strip club" Emily joked "Emily Prentiss, you even think of going to a strip bar and I will cut you off. For life" Emily held her hands up "It was a joke Jen"

"I have booked us for a meal at a small Italian restaurant, though it isn't a cheap place but they have allowed us to have the place for a night, something about they couldn't turn away the BAU without losing their jobs" Emily and JJ laughed

"I am sure it won't be too expensive just send us the address and time and we can get a sitter" Emily said "Isabella?" JJ whispered "Yes," "I have booked an extra seat for Sarah and is it Adam?" Emily and JJ nodded, "we will ask her," JJ said "Is that it Hotch can we now go home?" Emily asked as they looked at the clock 6pm "Sure be in for 8 though" with that, that said they all made their way out heading home.

"You know where we are going don't you Emily" JJ said with a pointed look "And you don't" Emily laughed "There is only one place that a whole entire staff would lose their job for turning our team away" Emily winked "And they have no idea" JJ smirked.


	121. Chapter 121

**Chapter 121**

**Memories**

'**Keep all special thoughts and memories for lifetimes to come. Share these keepsakes with others to inspire hope and build from the past, which can bridge to the future. '**

Emily laid in the bed with JJ curled into her side, Emily had Morgan in her arms and JJ cradled Jane as she spoke "Baby tell me about something" JJ asked, "Tell you what sweetie?" Emily asked as she ran her fingers over Morgan's cheek.

"About your past the countries the first Christmas you remember" JJ said as she nuzzled into the nook of Emily's neck. Emily smiled slightly "I remember most of them, but my first memory would be in the French Alps" JJ moved in closer as she watched Jane in her arms.

"My mother and father had gone to away for a meeting which was nothing out of the ordinary, I spent most Christmases alone or with nanny's or my grandfather" Emily sighed softly.

"I remember being so mad at my mother for leaving me yet again at Christmas" Emily laughed slightly, I was 11, my grandfather lived in a small cottage in a small village, but it was so beautiful there so peaceful Jennifer you would just love it" Emily said as she placed a soft kiss on her head.

"It was the also the last Christmas I shared with him, but I have so many good memories about it, we went sledging, hiking, he gave me my grandmother necklace that year, I use to always play with it, he passed it on to me and I passed it on to Sarah when she turned 11" she sighed slightly

"Depending on which country I was in, would be how my Christmas was, it would either be filled full of politicians that just wanted to nosy around, rich people who were trying to get more connection, people telling each other how much money they had or had made that year" Emily chuckled.

"That would be why I don't like to talk about money" JJ chuckled into her neck "Though I can't say they were all happy but the ones I can remember, they were even though I was never with my parents."

"That was also the first year I tasted wine" Emily shook her head slightly "My grandfather poured me a small amount of red wine to taste and told me if I told anyone he would haunt me for ever" Emily couldn't help but laugh

"I never really got presents and the ones I did get didn't really mean that much to me, that I know doesn't make sense"

"The one time Christmas started to mean something though was when Sarah was born. My mother had become my mom then and I finally knew what it was like to have a mother, she doted on Sarah and she still does" Emily laughed slightly

"That year we bought her so much but she had more fun with the boxes than the toys that were inside them," JJ laughed slightly "So even though you didn't have your family around you still had fun?" JJ asked.

"Oh, Jennifer the nanny's the cooks everyone who worked in that house was my family, I remember when Isabella came to work for us, and it wasn't long after Sarah had been born. And Sarah adored her too I have been so blessed Jennifer and I have been blessed three more times since then" JJ raised her eyebrow "Three times?" Emily laughed "Well let's see I have an adorable wife, two beautiful children all in the space of a year, so yes I would say I am very blessed" Emily said as she wrapped her arm tightly around JJ.

"But the best memory I have and this maybe messed up but it is the best by far, though I am hoping this year is going to be an improvement" Emily couldn't help but laugh. "The best day of my entire life Jennifer started with a soft kiss and three small words that meant and mean so much" JJ blushed

"You really are adorable Emily," JJ said softly.

"I use to love working over Christmas with the team" JJ shook her head "Why on earth would you love working over Christmas?" Emily chuckled "Because it meant I spent Christmas with you. Morgan use to tease me so badly about it. He told me so many times, just to tell you, but I was chicken. I always thought you were straight or I would lose a friend or get shot down straight away" JJ frowned slightly

"You know what I don't get is Morgan knew you was gay but that day you went missing he looked as shocked as everyone else" Emily smiled

"Jen, both me and Morgan shared and still share things and if any of his private or personal life spilt into the office I would act shock as well, he is my partner sweetheart so we will always have each over back"

"What is your biggest wish, if you could have one thing in the word Jennifer what would it be" Emily asked softly, JJ moved slightly as she looked into loving eyes "carry a child our child" JJ said softly "So you want to add to our little brood" Emily said with a bright smile.

"I would Emily, don't get me wrong I love our children but I would like a chance to experience it even if it is just once" Emily ran her fingers softly through JJ hair as she spoke "Right now? Or could it wait at least another year" Emily teased "It would be very hard having three children under the age of two in the house at one time and we might lose Isabella" Emily joked.

"Your serious you would, I could, we could" JJ rambled, "Jennifer remember the art of words and how to use them" JJ glared at her slightly

"If we didn't have children in our arms our in our bed I wouldn't need to fathom words I could show you in a different way" JJ smirked as she ran her fingers up the inside of Emily's leg "Fuck" JJ laughed "Emily watch your mouth in front of the children" JJ said with a slight shake of her head.

"Jen what was your favourite time" Emily asked

"I don't remember it very well but I do partly, it was the last Christmas Andrea was alive," JJ said softly.

"We were sat by the log fire in the front room, she was teasing me, and I can't remember what for. I just remember she was so happy, so full of life and energy. If you had met her Emily you would have loved her" JJ said softly as Emily pulled her in close "You two were close" JJ nodded.

"We use to play together all the time even when she said I was a pain because I was too young or her friends would tease her if I tagged along but yet she never left me out. We would pick on Mark well actually we were damn right mean to him" JJ laughed "Mom would shout at us both to be nice to him but we couldn't help it" Emily laughed slightly "I would never though you could be mean Jen" JJ shrugged "It was a long time ago"


	122. Chapter 122

**Chapter 122**

'**When the issues in your life become too much, or a secret in you starts to take its toll, it is only natural instinct to turn to your mother. However, sometimes it can feel awkward, stupid, or just plain weird to confide in your mum. You blush, you stammer, you stop and you start. You don't know what words to use, or what your facial expression should be like.'**

You know she is either going to do one of two things **'hit the roof'** or **'be happy'** but Sarah knew her mother and Ma and you could neither predict or anticipate their reaction. You are unsure of the right time to tell them.

Your Mother is protective and will either go very mad at you and question your every move and threaten the other person involved. Your Ma, well she is easy to talk to, understanding and loving but you know she is the one to watch out of them both, she is like a lioness is with her cubs.

Therefore, you stand there in the kitchen in your home mulling over it, if to take the other party but you know the other person is scared how they will react. No matter how much you reassure them nothing bad will happen only for them to reply with** 'FBI, GUNS'** and then '**Family all FBI! No way in hell'** you're not sure whether to laugh or understand them.

You reason with them telling them that they will not be shot, that they like him, but you also understand both are protective and you know how your extended family is. Then you start to wish no one knew about you because this might not end well.

Therefore, you come with the idea of just telling them and running out the door before the shouting match starts, and rules and plans are being laid down for you, or you get your bank account frozen. Then you think of your Grandmother and you think it might be better to tell her first since she is the calmer of the three of them.

On the other hand, maybe you will hold your brother or sister in your arms when you tell them because you know they will not shoot either of you with the babies in your arms. You told the other party they should have spoken to your mother's but they were too scared and you can understand it. Because anyone who did not know them well could take their actions and words as threats or temper or worry they will hurt you.

Then you remind the other party involved that your parents are not really the ones to worry about, because Garcia could do a **'thing'** that could wipe that other one from the world with just one press of a button. And it is in that realization you know it will be best to go as a united front they will respect it first because they will know if he can face them he can protect you from anything.

Therefore, you take the bull by its horns and you both walk out the door unsure of what you will be like on your return. Though you know deep down you could never keep anything from your parents, they can tell something is wrong and know something is going on the second you step in to their home.

"You know if they weren't FBI I wouldn't be so worried," Adam said as he held the car door open "You just don't like the fact that they carry guns." Sarah smiled as she got in. "No it is the fact your mother shoots first asks questions later, and then your Ma has one hell of a temper and I am still unsure which is worse" Adam said as he got in, Sarah laughed at him.

"Adam if you show them fear they will both eat you alive so keep smiling and try and keep the fear out of your eyes" Sarah said with a smirk "You know I hate profilers right" "Oh I know I could never get away with anything when I was a kid"

Therefore, you both make the short drive to their house and a part of you prays they are at work and not at home. However, you know things never are that simple. You hope just one of them are at home, but you are not sure which you would rather have at home your Mother or Ma.

You walk in feeling like a child who is about to get in trouble because you have been caught drinking or smoking for the first time. Back when you were 14, you breathe a sigh of relief when you are greeted.

"Sarah, Adam, your Mother is in the kitchen" Isabella says with a smile. In addition, your heart just sinks your stomach ties in knots your palms become sweaty and you look behind you to see the man you love looking like he is a deer with the headlights steering straight towards him, you want to reassure him that everything would be okay.

But your mother is old fashioned in a sense, so you know she will be mad, so you both make your way into the kitchen, you groan internally when you see they both are there. They smile at you both softly. You let the breath out that you had been holding in as you walk in fully.

"Would you two like a coffee?" JJ asks softly. You look at her for a moment and you are happy that her once dull blue eyes are now full of life and love you knew. So you smile at her hoping it will be all right "We would love one Ma" you bite the inside of your lip just as your mother turns around.

You study her for a second, you had missed that glint in her eye that love and happiness that had been there is back. She looks at you as though she is trying to read your thoughts, so you do what you learnt to do as a kid, since you were taught by the best; you slam your walls down placing the mask over your eyes and face.

And she knows you have but for what your about to do you need that defense and then she speaks to you "Are you okay Sarah?" she asks as she looks straight into your eyes.

She knows your walls are up and you are hiding something, she rolls her eyes slightly at you but you know she is just waiting for you to come to her and talk.

However, right now, all words fail you, and you are grateful that one of them is not a profiler. Your heart sinks though when you Ma speak "Sarah what's going on?" Adam's eyes have gone wider you dig him in his side to remind him to be strong.

So you smile as you speak just so you can have that small grace before the fireworks begin "Nothing we just wanted to come and see you both" then you Ma raises her eyebrows at you with that mothers look of **'that's bullshit and you know it'** but she lets it go because she knows you.

She understands that despite your age part of you is still a scared child. Then your mother turns around to fully look at you though she is not looking at you, she is looking at the man beside you and you know the words that are going to come out of her mouth. So you grab his had to give him strength as she speaks.

"Adam why do you look as though I am going to kill you?" she asks you can feel his hand shaking you just pray he will hold it together. Then he shrugs as he speaks "Because you scared the crap out of me" he says and you are in that second proud because he has spoken the truth and you see her smile. "Wise man" your Ma says softly as she places your drinks down.

In addition, it is at this point you make a choice and you know whom you are going to pick because you cannot handle them both together.

"Ma can I talk to you about something please" you say your voice is slightly unsure and she can tell as she walks over to you, running her loving hand down your arm as though to tell you everything is going to be okay and in that second you know your Ma, and your Ma can handle your Mother better than you.

"Come on lets go into the den" she says softly. Therefore, you follow her to the back of the house leaving him with your mother. However, you trust your mother to be nice because she loves you.

"Is everything okay Sarah?" JJ asks softly "Depends, you might need to sit down" you reply your still unsure and your worried about what is going on in the other room, you curse yourself for leaving him alone with your mother but you need to start somewhere.

"What is going on? Are you pregnant?" she asks and you cannot help but laugh, "No," she smiles at you softly "Good cause your mother would really throw a fit," she says in a laugh.

"What do you think of Adam?" you ask hoping for an honest answer and you know she will be honest "I like him, he's a nice kid," JJ says though a frown covers her face and she glares at you her eyes show a slightly worry in them "Sarah has he done something to you?" you cannot help but laugh.

"In a way yes but it's nothing bad I promise," she looks you up and down she's trying to work it out but your too scared to tell her. "Whatever it is Sarah you can tell me" you take a breath as you ask "Promise me Ma you won't kill him and you won't be mad?" she looks at you slightly confused.

"Sarah if he hasn't hurt you I won't kill him and you know I can never be mad at you" her eyes convey love and truth so you take a deep breath and pray she will just be happy for you .

"He asked me to marry him" she looks at you in shock and you know in that moment that it was a mistake.

"Ma" you say unsure now, you have never seen that look on her face before. "Say something?" you ask her as she shakes her head slightly "Your mother is going to throw a fit" she groans "ma, he loves me and I love him" she rolls her eyes at you "You have only been together how long?" she looks at you rather pointedly and you know there is no going back ever.

"Eight months" you say as you look into her eyes you cannot help the tears that build in your eyes because you just want her to be happy for you. Then she takes you by surprise she is sat next to you wrapping her arm around you pulling you close as she speaks.

"Let's go and tell your mother," she says softly and you shake your head slightly. "Sarah she won't be mad I promise, but she may cry because our baby girl has grown up" she assures you as you start to relax. She takes your hand and leads you back into the kitchen where your mother and Adam are discussing Christmas and where you are going. She seems happy when he asks if we can spend it with them, your proud of him and your mother seems to like him more than you thought she did.

She looks at you both as your Ma rubs your back before going to stand behind your mother with her hands on her shoulder and you know she is just keeping her still and calm as she looks at you with worried eyes.

"Sarah what is it?" she asks looking at you and all you can do is hold your Ma's gaze and something then takes you totally by surprise.

"Emily, I have" he stops as her eyes fall on him then she looks back at you and now your Ma has tighten her grip on her shoulders, then he speaks again "She isn't pregnant"

Emily nods though now she is fixated on you so you open your mouth and the words just fall off your tongue "He asked me to marry him and I've said yes" you wait for the fireworks.

She looks up at your Ma her eyes glisten with tears, he standing behind you now holding you as you wait for the shouting, but it doesn't come, you hear her whisper something to your Ma and she just nods wrapping her arms around her.

Her gaze falls to Adam he takes you by surprise his nervous have gone and he is standing there strong behind you as he looks at her "I know we haven't been together long, but I promise you I love her and I will not hurt her or allow anyone to hurt her" he says his voice very firm. Your mother just looks at you both as she leans into your Ma.

"I think we should get the bottle out Jennifer" she whispers, you've never seen your mother lost for words as Adam lets go of you so you can walk over to her, your wrapping your arms around her. You can feel the tears rolling down her cheek as she speaks "I am so proud of you Sarah" she whispers "You make sure he looks after you" your shocked because she gave you her blessing you pull back slightly and you look straight into her eyes as your Ma comes back she smiles.

They seem to speak to each other as your Ma speaks "Adam you are the first person to face her Mom and not be afraid, you have been there for her but we will warn you hurt her and you will have us both to deal with"

You cannot help but laugh "How long before we can do that? Have a conversation without words" your mother laughs "It's a gift" you know what she means because you know your mother fainlly has found the missing part of herself in the woman that has her arms that are wrapped around her.


	123. Chapter 123

**Chapter 123**

**One year on and you find yourself Missing, AGAIN!**

"Morgan I swear to god, if we do not get back there I am going too seriously kill you, and then I will hand feed you to the wolves" Emily scowled as they sat a few hours away from civilization "Why is it my fault?" Emily glared at him "You seriously want an explanation, it was your bright idea to go for a drive out and it is your car we are in which I might add is totally bust" Emily said as they watched the steam rise from the engine.

"It's not my fault it broke down" he said, as he looked at her "Morgan we have no cell service we are on a god damn back road and no one NO ONE Knows where we went, and all because, you wanted to TALK! Which I might point out you have yet to do" Emily said as her temper got the better of her.

"We can walk," he said as he looked out into the darkness. "That sounds like such a good idea" Emily said sarcastically "Well why not?" Morgan asked, "You're joking right! What do we do for a living again remind me" she glared at him "Profile, Oh I see your point" Morgan said as he looked back down at his phone.

"You know they are going to kill us both and you're going first," Emily said as she looked out the window.

"Garcia is going to kill me and then make sure no one knows I ever existed" Morgan said "Is that before or after my wife kills us" Emily said "Hopefully before"

"You know if we did any other job we would walk" Morgan said "And if we had our guns on us I would be happy to walk, but you made me leave mine at home" Emily groaned. "Well if we wait here awhile it might cool down and start again it could have just over heated and someone might come past and give us a lift" Morgan smiled.

"Seriously you want someone we don't know to drive past and happily get in the car with them.. Have you totally lost your mind!" Emily shouted. "Well I don't see you having any bright ideas" Morgan pointed out. "I had one when I said let's not take the back road home" Emily sighed.

"So do you know he wants to talk to Emily about?" Garcia asked as they sat in front of the fire "Like he would tell me anything you know them two they are as thick as thieves and without the tights" JJ replied.

"I am sure we will find out at some point Pen, don't worry" JJ said softly "So what's been going on with you all lately? How is Morgan doing?" Garcia asked, "Well he is due for an operation next month to repair the hole in his heart and then we will take it from there" JJ replied. "My poor little guy" Garcia said sadly "He has had such a rough time of things" JJ nodded "He has I am worried about him, he will only settle fully for Emily and she is really only just getting her head around it all."

"He will be fine JJ" Garcia said as she handed JJ a glass of wine "Oh, thanks Pen but I think I've reached my limit" Garcia pouted slightly "Seriously JJ where do you think they are let alone what do you think he is talking to her about?"

JJ rolled her eyes slightly "Garcia as much as I love you I really have no idea, he came round dropped you off and dragged Emily out the front door saying he needed her." JJ paused slightly "And since them two don't talk they beat the crap out of each other to get the point across where do you think they are"

"Bar or gym?" Garcia asked, "I doubt either plus Emily has been laying off the drink lately" JJ said softly. "Did I tell you Sarah and Adam have got engaged?" JJ asked "And he is still alive?" Garcia said jokingly. "Why does everyone think she is going to kill them?" JJ said letting out a frustrated sigh "Sarah I can understand Adam I can also understand but you I cannot understand" JJ said

"Oh because she is protective and has a temper" JJ cut in "My temper is worse than hers," she pointed out "Well that is beside the point. I mean look at her dark, butch not to mention," JJ glared at her "In order for us to remain friends I think you should just stop there"

"I really think us sitting here is a bad idea" Morgan said softly "I really don't fancy walking all that way Morgan and really we aren't even sure where we are" Emily pointed out. "We have been here for two hours they will miss us soon? Won't they?" Emily could not help but laugh, "You brought Garcia to mine with a crate of beer a bottle of wine. What do you think" "Shit, well maybe we should just start walking or you can push the car and I'll steer"

"Wow, you really are a gentlemen whatever does Garcia see in you" Emily teased. "Do you have your back up gun in here?" Emily asked as Morgan grinned "Of course I do" "Right pass it me then we will walk and you can explain to my wife why we have been out so long and then explain to Garcia about the car" Emily said as she smiled slyly "That is so not fair"

Garcia nudged JJ to wake up "Emily?" JJ said her voice slightly groggy from sleep "No it's me, JJ its 3am and they still haven't come back yet" Garcia said as she looked at her worried "You tried ringing either of them?" JJ mused as she started to wake up fully "Say's unable to connect the call "Ugh! When will those two learn to keep their phones on," JJ moaned as she fully sat back up.

"I am worried JJ, surely they should have been back hours ago" Garcia said pleadingly. "Pen they will be fine I promise you, they more than likely have…" JJ shrugged "I have no idea really but the two together will be fine," JJ said to reassure her friend.

"You're not worried?" Garcia said slightly shocked "I learnt a few years ago with those two, if they are together, don't worry, don't try and look for them or if you do hide their guns" JJ said with a smirk "Huh?" Garcia said rather puzzled.

"This isn't the first time that these two have disappeared the last time was when we were all on a rough case and both Morgan and Emily had been finding it hard. They were gone the whole night Garcia. So Hotch and Rossi went looking for them. only for them to be looking down a barrel of a gun, and a highly pissed off Emily. So I learnt not to worry"

"When was that?" Garcia asked "And why did none of you tell me?" she said slightly puzzled. "About three months after Emily joined, we were on a case, kids kidnapped and" JJ paused "Oh god I remember that one" JJ nodded "Emily and Morgan found one of the kids, he would have only been about four, they just wanted to clear their thoughts and everyone panicked" JJ said softly.

"They look out for each other Garcia, how many times have I rung him to go and find her because she has been upset or won't talk to me," JJ pointed out. "I just worry JJ, with what I know that is out there and when they get back I am going to kill them both" She said firmly "Okay just leave Em in one piece for me"

"Oh, I see lights" Emily said after they had been walking for over an hour "Really where" Morgan said as he looked around "Morgan look straight ahead put the torch out of your eye line then open your eyes" Emily teased. "So do you happen to have any money on you for cab fare?" Morgan asked "Lucky for you yes, but who said I would take you home?" Emily joked. "Because I am your partner and you love me" "And both them things are debateable" Emily said with a pointed look.

"So how much trouble do you think we are going to be in?" Morgan asked as they pulled up on their street "Honestly you're going to be sleeping on the sofa for a while, I will more than likely get my ass chewed and Jennifer will more than likely be laughing at us both" Emily said as she made a point of looking him up and down.

"Five in the morning we are soaked in places that shouldn't be soaked we are full of mud and let's face my hair looks like I have been for a tumble in the hay" Emily joked. "But the good thing is Jen knows you're so not my type" Morgan chuckled as they opened the door.

"Oh crap" Morgan whispered as they came face to face with a highly angry Garcia "You two best have a really good explanation for this and what the hell happened to your clothes!" Garcia shouted, "Garcia, you can shout all you want but do not wake up our children" JJ said as she looked at Emily "And you missy best have a really good explanation to why you look like you have had"

"Whoa!" Morgan said holding his hands up "She hasn't done anything I promise" JJ raised her eyebrow as she looked back at Emily "Then why does my wife look like she has been rolling on the floor in mud and as though her hair has been" "Jennifer I beg you to stop there please" Emily said softly as Morgan laughed. "What's so funny" Garcia glared at him "Well we did kind of roll in the mud but it was only because it was wet and I slipped dragging her with me" Emily could not contain the laughter inside her.

"He needs a new car" JJ's eyes went wide "You crashed your car!" Morgan shook his head "No but I think that would have been far easier at least we would have been given a lift home" "Morgan take off your shirt and please tell me you have boxers on" he nodded

"Then strip because you are dripping all over our nice cream carpet" JJ looked at Emily "No way in hell," Emily nearly shouted.

"There is no way those two are seeing me half naked" JJ looked at her "Not up for discussion Emily" just as Morgan steeped in front of her "JJ if you get her something to put on she will happily remove them" he said with a slight warning to his tone. JJ closed her eyes slightly "Sorry, just stay there okay" Emily nodded "Thanks Morgan"

"So where is our car?" Garcia asked as she slapped his arm "Ouch! That's for scaring me" he nodded "it is on a back road about two hours away" Emily chuckled "It will be towed and impounded before we find it again" Emily said just as JJ came back downstairs holding her gown, "Can you guys just look somewhere else while I remove these" Emily said with a slight blush.

"Have you two even eaten since you went out?" JJ asked as they all finally made their way into the kitchen "No, but right now all I want is a bath and sleep" Morgan nodded "I would also like some clothes"


	124. Chapter 124

**Chapter 124**

Luckily Morgan had left some spare clothes at their house, as JJ pulled them out of the laundry room, "How is it, you two can go out and find yourselves in trouble without looking for it?" JJ asked as she, passed him his clothes, "It is a gift that we have been blessed with" he smirked. "Well I think you both should return the gift," JJ said before heading upstairs.

Emily lay in the bath slowly warming herself back up as JJ walked in "Hey sweetie" she said softly as Emily looked at her "Sorry baby" she murmured "What is wrong with him?" JJ asked as she sat at the side of the bath. "To be honest Jen, I have no clue, I am still waiting for him to **'talk'** to me," Emily said with a slight roll of her eyes.

"Sure he's not just missing you?" JJ asked, "Jen, come on we work together every day, how on earth could he miss me?" Emily asked, slightly puzzled. "Em, Garcia is in a panic that's something's" Emily placed her finger on JJ's lips "Jen, I will talk to him when, you two go shopping, I promise" Emily said with a slight smile.

"Okay, Emily really, why does your hair remind me of us after having sex?" JJ asked as she looked at her hair that was still caked in mud. "Because he slipped dragged me with him and my hair does not like water and mud without a good hairdryer" Emily joked. "I promise sweetie nothing has happened, though Morgan does need a new car" Emily said as JJ started to wash her hair for her.

"Mmm," Emily moaned slightly as JJ's fingers manipulated her scalp "That feels so good" she whispered, just as soft lips met her own, JJ ran her tongue along her bottom lip to be allow excess, which Emily happily gave. JJ kept the kiss soft and gentle before pulling away slightly.

"Let's get you out of there before you end up with a chill," JJ said softly. "Thank you" Emily said as JJ wrapped the towel around her body, "Have I told you how much I love you Jen," JJ smiled "Yes but I don't mind hearing it again" she smirked.

Emily was, pulled out of her light sleep to the sound of soft cries, which were emanating for down the hall. Carefully so moved out of JJ embrace as she throw her dressing gown on, making her way into Morgan's room, "Hey buddy" Emily whispered as she gently picked him up into her arms.

"You hungry?" she mused as she cradled him, she looked down at the now quite infant as she slowly made her way downstairs. She warmed his bottle up before heading into the back room with him.

Emily at some point had fallen back asleep with Morgan in her arms. JJ chuckled from the doorway before heading back into the kitchen, where Garcia, Morgan and Jane where. "Where is she?" Garcia asked, "Asleep with Morgan" JJ smiled as she passed Garcia Jane's bottle. "Are you not going to wake her?" Garcia said slightly concerned, "She will wake up soon, Garcia they always end up in there asleep" JJ said, with a slight giggle.

"What if she drops him?" Morgan asked, "If you two want to wake them, go ahead but I can assure you they are both very safe" JJ laughed, "Go and look for yourself" JJ said as she looked at Morgan.

Morgan made his way to the back of the house to were Emily was, he couldn't help but smile at them both, Emily was leaning back slightly on the rocking chair with Morgan nestled into her, her hand gently running up and down his back as they both slept.

Making his way back he spoke softly "It is so strange to see her like that" as he looked at JJ "They both just look so peaceful" JJ nodded, "he must of woken early" JJ commented "I only find them in there if he woke up early and Emily wanted me to sleep longer" JJ laughed.

"JJ its 9am, you're going to have to wake her, if we are going out" Garcia said as she passed Jane to Isabella, "Morgan can you make her a coffee and put a bottle in while I go and wake the two sleeping beauties" JJ said softly. "Sure"

JJ stood in the doorway for a few seconds before speaking "Em, are you awake baby" JJ said softly, as she made her way fully into the room. Emily nodded "Morning sweetie" she said softly as she moved carefully. JJ looked at her for a moment "Emily, how much sleep did you get?" JJ asked, "About an hour, someone was hungry" Emily said as she yawned.

"You want me to take him, while you go and get dressed?" JJ asked, since she knew Emily only had her dressing gown on. "Please" Emily replied as she placed a soft kiss on JJ's lips.

Derek handed JJ the bottle just as Morgan started to wake, "Good timing" Garcia said with a smirk, "He has very good timing" JJ joked.

"So what time are you going out?" Emily asked as she came into the kitchen. "In about an hour" JJ said as Isabella took Morgan from her "Thank you" Isabella smiled, as she took him into the play den.

Morgan handed Emily her coffee, she smiled taking a sip "You sleep okay?" she asked, "Yeah, did you?" Emily could not help but laugh, "Yes, once I got our little champ back to sleep" Emily said as she wrapped her arms around JJ. "Are you and Morgan staying here while me and Garcia go shopping?" JJ asked as she leaned into Emily.

"Yeah, could you pick me up a top for tonight though please" Emily asked softly, as JJ nodded, "You two are just too cute" Garcia beamed, causing Emily to roll her eyes as JJ playfully pinched her side "Stop rolling your eyes" JJ scowled, "How the hell does she do that?" Morgan asked looking at them both "It is a gift," JJ said with a wink.

After JJ and Garcia had left, Emily and Morgan made their way into the sitting room. "So are you going to tell me what is going on, or you just going to ignore what you wanted to talk to me about?" Emily asked as she handed Morgan his cup.

He grinned, "Well I could try and ignore it again, but since I am confined to your house, I don't think I can" he joked. "Morgan what the hell is going on?" Emily asked seriously, Morgan placed his cup down as he turned to look at Emily "I want to ask Garcia to marry me, but I get the impression she will, you know, freak out" he said sadly.

Emily smiled softly "What makes you think she will freak out?" Morgan sighed, "I have said it to her before, messing around and she got all defensive on me" his eyes saddened slightly "I love her Em, she says she doesn't want anything to change" he sighed slightly.

"Maybe she isn't ready to get married?" Emily asked, "I don't know, I mean look how she was when you and JJ got married." He paused, "She was so happy and I said we could have that, and she just blew me off"

"Have you tried sitting her down and talking to her about it?" Emily asked, "Not really, it is as though she doesn't want anything to change either that or the thought of settling down with me is too much for her" Emily smiled softly, "You need to talk to her Morgan, tell her how you feel and show her how you feel."

"How did you ask JJ?" Morgan asked, causing Emily to laugh, "You really don't want to hear that" she joked, "Seriously, how did you do it" he asked again. "I gave her the paperwork for her trust fund, but she didn't read it properly, so I got down on one knee and asked her and believe me I was scared she would say no" Emily smiled. "And the rest well is history" Morgan nodded "What do you think I should do?"

"I don't know Garcia as well as Jen does, So I can only say talk to her but I would leave it till after the meal" Morgan nodded "I've missed this" Emily frowned slightly "Missed what?" "You, and before you say anything, I mean it is good to have you finally back" Emily nodded in understanding "Missed you too, I will talk to Jen later and see if she has any ideas for you" Emily said softly.

"Thanks Prentiss" "Anytime, now you want to watch a film before those two get back" Emily smirked, as Morgan picked the remote on, "Horror?" Emily nodded "Why not" Emily said, as she leaned into him.


	125. Chapter 125

**Chapter 125**

JJ and Garcia had been gone most of the day; Emily was, curled up in Morgan's arms fast asleep, when they got back. He just looked at them placing his finger to his lips.

"How long she been asleep?" JJ asked in a hushed voice, "A few hours, I don't have the heart to wake her" Morgan smiled as JJ rolled her eyes. "She is going to have to wake soon, we go out in a few hours" Morgan chuckled, "I'll let you wake her then"

"You're a chicken," Garcia said, as she laughed. "You had any lunch?" Morgan shook his head. JJ walked over to them both, she could not help but laugh. "Em, baby I need you to wake up" she said softly as she rocked her slightly on her shoulder, causing her to stir slightly. "Jen," she mumbled.

"Emily, come on baby" she tried again, as Emily slowly opened her eyes, she looked at JJ and frowned slightly, "Hey" as she looked up at Morgan "Sorry" she said as she moved off him "But you are comfy" Garcia laughed, "I will go and start on something to eat for you two, coffee?" "Please" Emily and Morgan replied.

"What you get Jen?" Emily smiled, as she kiss her lips "Oh, I got your normal, some black trousers, a red top" she winked as Emily laughed, "What you get for you?" JJ smirked "A surprise, I will go and help Garcia" JJ said, before making her way into the kitchen.

"You know Pen, I find it so strange how close those two are" Garcia nodded "I know, they just click" JJ shook her head slightly, "Ever since last year, he is the only person, she allows near her" JJ pointed out. "I think it's cute" Garcia said, as she handed JJ the cups. "I think it is funny, I am just glad she opens up to him" Garcia nodded, "I feel the same about him, though I think a lot of it is because they are partners"

"You ever going to get her out of them black trousers?" Garcia asked, "No chance, I think she would kill if I tried that"

"Who's going to kill you?" Emily said, as her and Morgan stood in the doorway, "You if I burnt all your black trousers" JJ said with a pointed look. "Probably" Emily laughed.

"Thanks Garcia" Morgan said as he picked his cup up, "You know, if me and JJ didn't know any better, we could swear you're a couple" Morgan laughed, as Emily's jaw dropped slightly "Hell no"

"Did Hotch give you the address and time?" Morgan asked, "Meeting at 6 and I don't need the address" Emily winked, "So we are just going to get lost and stand them up?" Garcia asked, "Nope, I know where we are going" JJ poked her side "You know Em, you can be cruel" Emily nodded "And your point is?"

"So baby, when do you plan on telling them?" JJ asked, as she stepped out of the shower "When they go to try and pay the bill" Emily smirked "Sarah and Adam meeting us there?" JJ asked, as Emily wrapped her arms around her "Yes and mother is looking after the twins so Isabella can come" JJ laughed, "I thought you didn't want to encourage that?" Emily shrugged "If they are going to date, I can't exactly stop them" "Good point"

JJ was dressing in a low cut light blue cocktail dress, a sapphire necklace and matching earrings. Emily was wearing the red blouse that JJ had bought her, black trousers.

"I will be glad to put this year behind us Jen" JJ nodded as she turned in her arms "Some I don't want to put behind us." Emily laughed, "True but mostly" JJ smirked, as she pulled Emily in to a soft loving kiss "Mmm, love you sweetie" Emily said, as JJ pulled back. "You can show me how much later, but right now we are going to have to get a move on." Emily laughed, "That I can do Mrs Prentiss"

They pulled up outside Garcia's "You go and get them I'll wait here" Emily said softly "Okay, I won't be long." JJ made her way upstairs knocking softly on the door. "Hey Pen, you two ready?" Morgan's jaw dropped as he walked up behind Garcia. "Whoa, you look stunning JJ" Garcia elbowed him "Eyes back in your head mister" Garcia teased. "Emily is allowing you out like that?"

JJ rolled her eyes as they made their way back to the car, Emily was tracking her every move as they made their way. JJ laughed as she got in, "Do you know I can feel your eyes on me?" she whispered. "What can I say you are irresistible baby," JJ blushed slightly, as they drove the short journey to the restaurant.

Emily groaned slightly as she spotted Sarah. "She looks stunning" Garcia commented, "She takes after her mom" JJ smiled, as they made their way over. "Hey Ma, Mom" Sarah smiled. "Do you two just have a thing for black? Or am I missing something?" Morgan joked.

"Where's Adam?" Emily asked, "Inside sorting our drinks out, with Isabella" Emily nodded as Morgan held the door open for them.

They made their way inside, they were, greeted as Morgan and Garcia frowned, "You two come here often?" he asked. Sarah laughed "Every week" which earned her a soft slap off Emily "I hope you" she stopped mid-sentence "Emily" JJ warned slightly, as they were shown to their table where the rest of them were waiting "Has everyone got a drink?" JJ asked before sitting down.

"You can tell who is the boss in your relationship is," Morgan whispered into Emily's ear, as she slapped him "Would you argue with her?" Morgan chuckled, "Good point." JJ looked at them both "Are you two going to behave tonight?" "Yes Ma'am" Emily joked.

"Just going to the bar, Prentiss come give me a hand please?" Morgan said, as he stood up.

"Em?" JJ said with a puzzled look on her face, Emily shrugged "Jen just order my usual please" Emily nodded at Morgan "And him the same" she gave a weak smile, as she made her way over to him.

"Two beers please Richard" Emily said as she looks at Morgan "What's going on?" Emily asked, "Have you spoken to JJ?" Emily shook her head "Not yet but I will do, I promise" she said as she gently place her hand on his cheek.

"I promise we will find out and then you will just have to take it from there" she gave a weak smile.

Both JJ and Garcia watched them, as the rest of the team looked over the menu. "Ma what's going on?" Sarah asked as she watched Emily. "No clue, but I am sure we will find out sooner or later" JJ said as she looked at Garcia. "Pen try not to worry, okay, if it was something bad, Emily would have told me already," JJ promised.

Sarah could not help but laugh, as she watched Isabella and Rossi "Do you think it will last Ma?" JJ looked at her for a second before seeing what she was looking at. "I don't know Sarah, but I know he dissevers some happiness. And I think he is good for her"

Garcia looked at them. "How long has that been?" she asked just catching on "A few months I think, Emily was slightly worried at first but" JJ laughed "They seem to have just clicked" she shrugged as the waiter came over.

"Mrs Prentiss," He smiled looking at JJ "Andrew, I thought we agreed on JJ" she smiled softly "Sorry Ma'am" Sarah laugh. "Andrew, we will have our usual" Sarah said, as he took everyone else's order "Andrew, Emily will have her usual and the same for Morgan" JJ motioned towards the bar.

"Would you like some wine?" he asked "Bottle of each" "And a jug of beer please" Sarah said causing JJ to laugh. "Really, Sarah" Adam smiled "We just thought it would be nice to have a choice"

Hotch looked at them all "What's up Hotch?" JJ asked, noticing the worried look on his face "Oh, nothing" just as Emily and Morgan walked back over "If you're worried about the bill, I can assure you it is already taken care of" Emily said as she sat next to JJ.

"How do you know that when we haven't even finished?" Morgan asked, "We know the owner," Sarah teased. "You two are really as bad as each other" JJ glared. "no we just like to make our own fun" Sarah joked, as Emily wrapped her arm around the back of JJ.

"So you're telling us that, if they turned the BAU away they would be fired." Rossi paused "Then you're saying you know the owner" he glance at a smug looking Emily "And your also stating that we don't have to pay for the meal" JJ nodded "Who exactly owns this place?" Rossi asked.

"Well as of Christmas day Jennifer will own it" JJ's eyes went wide. "WHAT!" Emily smiled "Surprise" Emily joked "Mom, have you" Emily nodded "The solicitors sorted it all out last week for me" JJ shook her head as the rest of them looked confused at them.

"I own it for now," Emily said as she blushed "But like I have just said Jennifer will be the owner" Emily paused as they all took the information in "There's more you're not telling me isn't there?" JJ asked, "Mark is going to be working here as of the New Year, I spoke to him about it last week" JJ rolled her eyes "If I didn't love you, I would kiss your ass" Sarah laughed.

They all fell into a comfortable silence as they ate their meal, until the early hours of the morning, as the team said good-bye to one another Hotch pulled Emily to one side.

"Prentiss, a word please" Hotch said carefully "What's wrong Hotch?" Emily asked, "Nothing is wrong," He said kindly "I just wanted to say thank you for tonight, and I am so glad to have you back" Emily smiled "It is good to be back," Emily admitted.

"Is there something else?" Emily said, as Hotch seemed to be looking at something behind her "Rossi, wants to take Isabella away for Christmas and they are not sure how to ask you."

Emily laughed, "Oh, I will tell her to have it off, it will give me and Jen some alone time together with our children for once" Emily smiled as JJ walked over. "You ready to go Em?" "Is that everything, Hotch?" Emily asked as he nodded.


	126. Chapter 126

**Chapter 126**

Emily and JJ arrived back home in the early hours, after stopping for a coffee at Garcia's. JJ had gotten more and more aroused as Emily trailed her fingers on her leg, "We need to get going" JJ said, in a slight moan.

Emily blushed slightly, as JJ stilled her hand "Thanks guys" Emily said as they both made their way out. "You okay Jen?" Emily asked, as JJ dragged her towards their car.

"You're driving me home right now" JJ said, Emily grinned smugly knowing that she had managed to wind JJ in front of their friends, but JJ was already working on pay back, as Emily got in JJ placed her hand on Emily's leg.

"You know exactly what you've done, so I suggest you get us home right now or" JJ threatened slightly as she let her fingers run gently in-between Emily's legs, causing Emily to moan slightly "Mmm,"

Emily pulled JJ into a soft kiss as they pulled into the driveway "We have the whole house to ourselves baby" Emily hushed into her ear before getting out.

JJ more or less dragged Emily up the stairs into their room before turning facing Emily.

"What I want to do right now is removed you out of them rather lovely clothes so I can see the sexy body which lies beneath" she smirked as she pulled Emily to her feet.

JJ gently removed her jacket as she kissed her jawline making her way to her lips as she began to unbutton her shirt, stilling Emily hand which came to help "Let me please" she whispered as the shirt slowly opened.

JJ peppered kisses down on the newly bare skin as the shirt fell to the floor, gently she moved her hand behind Emily's back to uncover her breasts.

Her tongue ran across her breast catching the already taut nipple, as her fingers slowly undid her pants as she guided her back to the bed, removing her panties at the same time.

JJ brought her mouth back to the nipple wrapping her lips around it as she gently sucked, causing Emily to let out a sight moan.

Bringing her other hand over to allow her finger to knead her other breast as her fingers rolled the nipple. "Jennifer" Emily moaned at the touch keeping her movement slowly and soft she trailed her hand to rest on her stomach as her lips followed the same path as Emily's breath hitched, "Jen" she breathed.

Emily opened her legs slightly giving the blonde permission, her lips feathered over her core as she blew cool air against her skin, taking in her arousal. "Beautiful" JJ murmured as she ran her tongue gently through her core.

she reached one hand up to twist her nipple as she continued to dip her tongue in her folds, Emily moaned loudly "Please" she whimpered, it wasn't a request to stop but a request for release.

JJ managed to coax her clit out of its protective hood as she ran her tongue over it gently before wrapping her lips around and sucking gently "Yes, yes" Emily nearly screamed feeling JJ on her clit, rolling it between her teeth before running her tongue over it to sooth.

JJ continued to teased, nip and suck on her bundle of nerves "god baby" Emily whispered as JJ smiled against her core. Gently she rolled her nipple as she brought her tongue away running it through her folds the intoxicating taste running on her tongue and sending her stomach into a frenzy of her own want and need.

JJ dipped her finger gently into her core, as Emily tensed slightly as her body got use to the feeling of JJ inside her. Emily moaned loudly as JJ rocked inside her slowly.

She placed a finger against her clit and gently rubbed adding pressure as she continued to run her tongue through her folds, "Yes, Jennifer, Yes" Emily chanted as JJ pushed her closer to her climax.

Curling her fingers inside finding the spot she knew would push Emily over the edge as she applied pressure, Emily's walls tighten around her; Emily moaned loudly her body shiver as they waves of her climax washed over her.

JJ readily accepted her release taking in all of her before she, trailed soft kisses back up her torso paying attention to her beautiful breast gently she sucked against her nipple before carrying on towards her beautiful lips.

"Mmm" JJ moaned softly as she placed a soft kiss against her lips before deeping it as Emily allowed her entrance, she moaned softly into her mouth as they pulled away when the need for air became too much.

JJ looked into tear filled eyes smiling softly "You okay baby" Emily nodded her smile lighting her eyes "I love you Jennifer" she said softly as she ran her fingers through her hair

Emily frowned slightly "You have too many clothes on Mrs Prentiss," Emily said as she tried to sit up. JJ laughed, "Well it wouldn't be right for me to undress myself now would it?"

Emily grinned as JJ stood up giving her access to the back of her dress, which in turn made Emily unzip it very slowly. As she kissed her neck, JJ moaned into the touches.

She guided JJ to the bed so she was lying down though her mouth never left her pulse point nipping and sucking against it as her finger toyed with her nipple. "God Emily, I need you to kiss me," JJ moaned out loudly. Emily smiled against her neck as she kissed her way up to her jawline before claiming her lips with her own, running her tongue along her bottom lip asking for entry, which JJ was all too happy to give. As they, deepened the kiss.

Emily swallowed JJ's moans as she rolled her nipple between her fingers, as the need for air brought them apart, "Mmm" Emily let out in a slight moan as she moved away from her mouth.

Flattening her tongue, she took a direct route to a rosy nipple, pressing down hard on pebbled flesh as she swept across the tight bud. She paused and lingered on the engorged nipple, allowing her lips to accompany her tongue on its journey as she sucked hungrily, occasionally flicking the rough muscle teasingly back and forth and leaving behind raised skin in its wake.

She slid her hand along a silky smooth curve, pausing shortly on a rounded hip. Gently rubbing the area, she continued her journey and rested her hand briefly on firm abs, before splaying her fingers apart and stretching her digits everywhere in a show of ownership. Her lover pushed wantonly against her palm and readily spread her legs in invitation. Emily smiled and eased her hand lower.

Soft curls, damp with arousal, greeted Emily, welcoming her touch and enticing her to forge ahead. She brushed her fingers through golden hairs, purposefully putting pressure on a hard nub as she slid her hand over a ridge and into an abundant pool of wetness. She lazily threw her leg over the top of her lover's and shifted her weight, causing her to twist her thumb while simultaneously adding more pressure to an over-stimulated clit. JJ moaned loudly in appreciation of the new and unexpected move.

Emily eased a finger inside the warm, wet opening, working the digit in and out in slow, measured thrusts. Lifting her hips in response, JJ placed her feet firmly on the bed and allowed her knees to part more and more.

A second finger joined the first, and together, they flowed in and out in a sensual glide as Emily began her way down her lover's body, peppering soft kisses en route to her final destination.

She drank in the sweetness that coated her tongue, and thrusting once more into the slick opening, she replaced her fingers with her tongue and gripped JJ's hips tightly.

She felt muscles begin to tighten as she easily plunged three fingers into her lover. Picking up the pace, she ran her tongue over JJ's clit, teasing the nub mercilessly, until she greedily sucked it into her mouth. JJ came with Emily's name on her lips.

She waited for the waves of her climax to settle, as she removed her fingers. JJ moaned softly at the loss of contact. Emily trailed kisses up towards her lips pulling her into a passionate kiss running her tongue along JJ's lower lip to be, allowed entry, which JJ was all too willing to give.

Emily moaned into her mouth, as they could taste each other, gently she pulled away when the need for air became too much for them.

Emily smiled softly into swirling blue eyes "I love you," Emily whispered. JJ still reeling from the climax that had taken over her senses smiled lovingly at her "Mmm I love you too Emily" was all she managed as she moved closer to Emily's body.


	127. Chapter 127

**Chapter 127**

JJ had been woken by Emily's fingers rubbing against her clit, as two fingers entered her roughly, it was that action that made JJ notice Emily was still asleep, she pushed her body more into Emily's sleeping form as her hips rocked against her finger.

She could not help the moan at escaped her lips, as Emily added another finger inside her. Emily's hand stilled, inside her slightly as she began to wake.

The soft moans emanating from JJ; who was curled into her, had made her wake slightly. "Baby?" Emily whispered as JJ groaned, "You stop now. I am going. To. Kill. You" JJ ground out, Emily looked at her confused, before realizing where her hand was. "Mmm, sorry baby" Emily said softly.

As she, carried on her movement. JJ was already on the brink of her climax as Emily gently pushed her over it, holding her close to her body. "Morning baby" Emily chuckled, as JJ fully relaxed into her "Mmm, good morning darling," JJ said in a whisper.

Elizabeth sat down stairs with Morgan and Jane, "I am surprised you two get any sleep" she mused, as she turned on the coffee machine, "I bet your mommies are hungry" as she looked through the fridge pulling out the bacon and eggs, she smiled to herself.

Emily slowly made her way downstairs leaving JJ to get ready, she pulled up short when she saw her mother in the kitchen "Mother." she said in a gasp. Elizabeth turned around "Good morning dear" she said with a slight smirk "What, how long?" she laughed, "long enough there is coffee in the pot for you and I have made you girls some breakfast"

Emily blushed deeply "Thanks mom" she muttered, "Emily we are all adults" Elizabeth pointed out, causing Emily to blush more. "What do you girls have planned for today?" Elizabeth asked as she began to plate their food up.

"Last minute Christmas shopping" she smiled "I think we may be having an extra guest this year," Emily said. As JJ, came downstairs. "Good morning Elizabeth. I thought I heard you" Elizabeth smiled warmly, as Emily shook her head. "Good morning Jennifer"

"Well girls, your breakfast is ready for you both. Jennifer" she said with a slight wink "They have both been fed, I will see you tomorrow then?" Emily nodded, "Sarah and Adam, are staying tonight Mother so you don't need to pick them up" Elizabeth frowned slightly "Who is the extra guest?" Emily laughed, "Rossi, I haven't asked him yet. I will ring him later"

Emily sighed softly, as she saw Elizabeth to the door, before walking back into the kitchen, wrapping her arms around JJ as she buried her face into the nook of her neck. "How long had your mother been here?" JJ asked as she leaned into Emily's solid form behind her. "Long enough to know how we woke up" JJ tensed "Oh god" JJ blushed slightly "I think we need our key back" Emily laughed,"or a chain"

"So shopping?" JJ asked, "Yeah, I thought we could go and get some more food. I was thinking of asking Rossi to come over" JJ nodded "They seemed happy last night didn't they?" Emily smiled "They did baby and I want to get Sarah and Adam something" Emily smirked slightly "Do you not think you have got her enough already?"

Emily shrugged "It is more of a thank you" JJ frowned, "Just what exactly are you thinking?" "I was thinking of booking them a trip to Australia" JJ's eyes went wide "You are kidding me right?" Emily shook her head "No why do you not think she will like it?"

"I think you spoil her," JJ said as she looked into her eyes, "She's my baby girl though Jen" Emily pouted slightly "I know darling, you know she is going to get hyper as hell" JJ warned "Or should it be a wedding present?" Emily smirked. "You do like Adam don't you Em? I mean you're not just saying it because Sarah is happy?" JJ asked softly.

"I will admit at first I didn't, it isn't because I didn't know him it is because of her past relationships. This one guy she dated I had to freeze all her accounts Jen, and that is something I never want to have to do again" JJ looked at her "You froze her bank accounts?" Emily nodded "If I hadn't she would have been left with nothing" Emily sighed "damn" JJ said softly.

"He seemed like a nice guy, at first but mother ran a few checks on him only to find out he wasn't who he said he was. She was paying for everything Jen, and I won't allow that" Emily said softly. "I always thought she would end up getting together with David," Emily laughed, "But they are just close friends, they have more or less grown up together, though Mother doesn't think much of him"

"But you do approve of Adam?" Emily smiled "I do, hell Jen he has stood by her through everything that has happened with us both, and that in my eyes says a lot about a person, he could have walked away and he didn't" Emily said softly. "She is an adult and I can tell they love each other. Although I would have been happier if they had been dating a bit longer," Emily admitted, "I agree with you on that Em."

"Em, what is going on with Morgan? Garcia is panicking" JJ asked, Emily sighed slightly, "He wants to ask her to marry him, but whenever he touches the subject he gets rebuffed I guess and he doesn't know what to do" JJ nodded "Em, if I am honest I don't think she is ready for that. I know she loves him but to her marriage is a big thing and" JJ sighed.

"I know it is a big thing and it is also something that shouldn't be rushed into." Emily sighed "Garcia is one of these people, who likes things the way they are, she doesn't like change and" JJ shook her head "Em, if her asked her, he would lose her" JJ admitted "You really think she would walk away from him because he asked her to marry him?" Emily asked, slightly confused.

"She is scared of getting hurt" Emily sighed "So I tell him not to or just allow it to play out?" JJ smiled "tell him not to push her and if he wants to, just make sure she knows they don't have to get married straight away."

JJ wrapped her arms around Emily "Sweetie they will be fine, Garcia will either say no or say yes. But if he so much as hurts her I will kick his ass" Emily laughed. "You'd have to get in line behind me" Emily joked.

"We best make a move or it is going to be too busy for us to move in town" JJ nodded "When you thinking of asking Rossi?" JJ asked, "I will send him a text after"

"I cannot believe you bought that? Where on earth are we going to put that?" JJ asked, as Emily happily wheeled the trolley to the car "But babe I couldn't resist and it will look so nice in their playroom" Emily defended herself, as she placed the rocking horse into the boot.

JJ rolled her eyes slightly "And who is going to get more use out of it" JJ asked, raising her eyebrow slightly "Morgan" Emily smirked, "Don't you mean you and Derek" JJ teased, Emily pouted slightly "You want me to take it back?" JJ wrapped her arms around Emily "No, I just don't want you wasting money on things that may not be used that's all"

"Did you send that text to Rossi?" JJ asked, as she walked back into the kitchen "Yes, and he said he would love to" Emily smiled slightly, "Sarah is coming later why don't you go for a bath and I'll settle the twins down for a nap," Emily said softly.

"Em, are you okay?" JJ asked, as she studied her wife's face "I'm fine baby I promise" JJ sighed slightly "I won't be long okay" Emily nodded as she placed the bottles into warm.

Once she had fed and settled the twins down in the cribs, she stood at the bottom of the stairs looking up, as she sighed; before walking to the door.


	128. Chapter 128

**Chapter 128**

JJ made her way downstairs an hour later, only to find Sarah and Adam playing with the twins on the floor "Hey, Ma" Sarah said softly, as she looked up. "Hey, how long have you both been here?" JJ asked, "About half an hour, where's mom?" JJ frowned slightly. "She was…" JJ sighed, "I will try and ring her," JJ said as she walked into the kitchen.

"Damn it Emily" JJ cursed, as she spotted Emily's phone on the worktop. "Ma?" JJ turned seeing Sarah standing in the doorway "Your mother seems to have disappeared" JJ said sadly, as she motioned to her phone.

Sarah looked at her for a moment before looking back at the phone "Ma, did, I mean" Sarah stumbled over her words slightly "No nothing has happened, we have been shopping this morning" JJ shook her head slightly, "Try not to worry Ma" Sarah said softly. "Sarah, I can't help but worry with her" she paused "if she isn't back in the next few hours then I will worry" Sarah laughed "I'll give you an hour tops Ma"

Emily sat outside in her car, as the knot in her stomach tightened, taking a deep breathe trying to settle her nervous, 'she** is either going to kill me, or I will find myself on the couch for a month' **Emily thought to herself before stepping out of the car heading. Heading inside she had a quite word with the receptionist, before smiling and walking back out.

Emily pulled up outside the old shop "Ms Prentiss, it has been a long time" Emily smiled "It has, I was hoping you had some of them lovely truffles left" he smiled kindly "I knew you would come in at some point. I have put a box aside for you" Emily smiled her thanks as she paid, before heading back out.

She had been out for over an hour and she knew JJ would be worried as she pulled back into the driveway, slowly she made her way back inside.

JJ glared at her slightly, Emily bit the inside of her eyes as she let her eyes fall to the floor. "Where have you been?" JJ asked, as her eyes softened slightly.

Emily looked at her "Well, I went because it wouldn't be and I know you like them" Emily rambled slightly as she pulled the box of the much-loved truffles out of the bag. JJ raised her eyebrow slightly "And we couldn't have got them before because?" JJ asked giving her a pointed look "I needed to sort something out" Emily said.

"What else is in that bag?" JJ asked "Nothing, just some bits that I forgot, let me go and put them away and I will be straight back down" JJ sighed softly "What bits?" JJ asked again. "Mom," Sarah shouted spotting them both in the hallway. "Hey Sarah, is Adam with you?" Sarah nodded "On the floor with Morgan and Jane" she laughed as Emily managed to make her way to the stairs as she whispered in her ear **'keep your Ma down here'** Sarah nodded.

"Ma you fancy a coffee or wine?" Sarah asked as she dragged JJ into the kitchen "Beer", she said softly "She okay Sarah?" "Yeah I think so" Sarah shrugged slightly.

Emily smiled to herself as she placed the items in the safe before heading back down stairs "Emily, are you sure you're alright?" JJ asked as she wrapped her arms around Emily. "I am more than alright baby I promise" JJ looked into her eyes in search of doubt, but all she could find was love and something she could not quite place. She ran her fingers down her cheek; Emily leaned into the touch "As long as you're sure darling." Emily nodded.

"Mother, can we" Sarah paused as Emily gave her a questioning look "Can we?" Emily pushed "Well we didn't do it last year and well" JJ looked at them both confused, as Emily rolled her eyes slightly. "You want me to bundle everyone into the car and go there?" Emily asked carefully.

Sarah nodded "Please mom," Emily smiled "go and wrap your brother and sister up. Has Adam got something warm to wear?" Emily asked "Yep" Sarah nodded before making her way out of the kitchen.

"Do you care to tell me?" JJ asked, Emily laughed softly, "Go wrap up and you will see when we get there" Emily said, as she kissed JJ's cheek.

After driving for over an hour, JJ spoke softly "Em, where are we going?" Emily smiled "every year I always tried to get home for Christmas and spend some time alone with just me and Sarah. One night we must have driven around for I think it was something like five hours."

"Six hours mom" Sarah cut in "Fine six hours" Emily rolled her eyes slightly. "Anyway, we stumbled upon a small village, and every year they set up an outdoor ice rink, sing songs it's just families all together, without worry or" Emily smiled. "It was the only place I could be her mom without having to hide."

"it became our thing to do at Christmas unless I was working, or Sarah was in new York" Emily paused "Ma we have been coming here since I was 10" JJ turned her head slightly "And you always come here?" Sarah nodded "Yep, every year, it is like our tradition and something we should carry on doing as a family mother" Sarah said, as she placed her hand on Emily's shoulder.

Emily smiled as they pulled into the small village. The streets were lit up with Christmas decorations, people in the streets, tables running along the pavements, which held food and drinks on them. Emily turned into the small parking area.

Emily smiled as she looked at JJ "You okay" JJ nodded "It just looks so peaceful" Sarah chuckled "It is and they know me and mom so don't worry" Sarah said as she got out the car, Adam helped get the babies into the prams.

"Mom, do you mind if we take them?" Sarah said as she bit her lip slightly "Yes just be careful" Emily said as they made their way down the street.

Emily and JJ walked slowly behind Sarah and Adam "It's beautiful" JJ whispered, as people greeted them "It is, come on there is something I want to show you" Emily said as she turned down one of the streets "What about" Emily smiled "They will be fine I promise" Emily said.

Emily guided JJ down a few more streets, JJ stopped as she looked across "Wow" she gasped slightly; they had made their way to a small park area that held a big Christmas tree, a small choir was singing Christmas songs, as people skated on the ice.

"Can you skate?" Emily asked as they made their way over "Yes, but I haven't got any skates Emily" Emily laughed, "Don't worry about that." "Ms Prentiss, it has been a long time how are you? Is Sarah not with you?" he asked, "John how many times, it's Emily and she is around somewhere" he smiled as his eyes fell on JJ. "John I would like you to meet my wife, Jennifer"

John smiled warmly at her as he held his hand out to her "Please call me JJ" she said softly as she shook his hand. JJ's eyes went wide as a young girl screamed Emily's name tackling her to the ground "Ugh! You have grown Abby," Emily said as she began tickling the young girl "Where's Sarah?" Emily laughed, "I think she went to the school house with her brother and sister" Abby's eyes went wide "Really!" she squealed as Emily managed to get herself off the floor "Yes, just don't tackle the babies" Emily warned slightly.

JJ watched Emily, a bright small washing over her "Would you like a drink, JJ?" John asked, JJ shook her head slightly "I'm okay thank you" John chuckled "You look like you have never seen her like that before" JJ turned to look at him "I haven't."

John laughed "Wait till the boys see her, " JJ frowned slightly "What do you mean," John spoke softly "The children love her, and they tend to attack her every time they see her" JJ looked at Emily in bewilderment.

"She looks happy" John commented, as two young boys had Emily pinned to the floor laughing, "It's been a rough year, it is good to see her smile like this," JJ said, as though it was an absent though. "We heard about it," John said sadly.

JJ's eyes went wide. "You, how?" he looked at her "Sarah came for a few days before heading into the city. She told us she had been hurt badly, we missed her last year, over the years she has become like part of our family"

"Come on I will show you around" JJ hesitated slightly "I promise nothing will happen to her, unless they go shooting out back again" John smirked "Do I want to know?" JJ asked, "Let's say she had to replace a few windows, and car repairs a few years ago" JJ laughed "Oh god" John smiled "She was teaching the boys to shoot, they haven't been allowed to try again since."

After a few hours Emily bungled them all back into the car "Won't be a second Jen," Emily said as she spotted a young girl watching her. "Hey Sofia," Emily said softly as the young girl threw her arms around her "Shh," Emily said softly as she ran her finger through her hair "Missed you Emmy" Emily kissed the top of her head "Missed you to kiddo, I've got something for you" Emily said as she placed her back down.

Sofia looked at her wide-eyed as Emily took something out of her pocket "Now you know not to open that till tomorrow" Emily said with a slight wink.

"Thank you Emmy" Sofia said rather loudly "Go on sweetie, we will see you next year" Emily wrapped her arms around her "You be good for your Grandma" Sofia nodded before running off.

"What did you give her Emily?" JJ asked once Emily had got back in the car "Her Mom and Dad were killed seven years ago, she lives with her Grandma and well they don't have much and" Emily blushed "Mom gives her money every year Ma" Emily looked at JJ thinking she was going to get shouted at

"You amaze me more and more everyday baby" JJ said softly, "It is just nice to be able to do some good for once, and to see the good we do" JJ looked at her slightly puzzled "Sofia's parents were killed by a serial killer Ma, the BAU found Sofia hiding in a cellar under the house" Emily nodded.

"I believe it was Gideon that found her" Emily said softly as they began to make their way back home, JJ was slightly taken back "So you give her money because" Sarah chuckled.

"When we first met Sofia she was so lost and so withdrawn into herself" Emily sighed "She saw everything Jen, she was I think five when it happened."

JJ rested her hand on Emily's leg "You don't need to explain baby, but still you amaze me Emily Prentiss, it is like I have seen a totally different side of you tonight" Emily blushed. "I have missed going there" she chuckled softly.


	129. Chapter 129

**Chapter 129**

5.25am Christmas day…

"MOM" Sarah shouted as she ran into the bedroom, causing Emily to groan and JJ to jump out of her skin.

"Jeeze Sarah" JJ groaned as she held her chest "I swear to god she is an adult" Emily mumbled from under the blankets "sorry" Sarah said softly as she looked at JJ. "Mom, come on please," Emily mumbled softly. "Sarah Jane if it is before 6 .Step out of our room, before I kill you personally" Emily ground out. Making Sarah, retreat out the room.

"You okay baby" Emily said softly, as she wrapped her arms around JJ, who was still catching her breath. "Is she like this every year?" JJ asked, as she moved closer to her "Yes every year wait until those two get older" Emily chuckled.

"Mmm" Emily murmured, as JJ's fingers trail down her body "Merry Christmas darling" JJ whispered, as she claimed Emily's lips.

Her finger gently grazed over her nipple Emily's body hummed, as JJ continued to kiss along her neck, before settling on her pulse point causing a slight moan from the brunette.

Her fingers gently grazed over her nipple as she gently began to roll it between two finger as her lips kissed down her chest her tongue gently running over her skin towards her other breast JJ's lips latched around her nipple as her tongue gently grazed over it as she began to suck softly.

Emily moaned, as JJ sucked gently against her breast her fingers twisting the other taut nipple slightly, she pulled her closer. Emily's finger ran through her hair pulling her closer to her skin, she moaned softly against Emily.

She began to kiss back up towards her lips "Jennifer" she husked as she looked into deep blue eyes leaning down as she cover her lips with her own into a deep kiss.

Emily ran her fingers over JJ's back causing, JJ moaned loudly as Emily cupped her breasts kneading them between her fingers. The fire burned in her stomach as Emily began to twist her nipple. Causing her to gasp and moan against the brunette as she settled on kissing her pulse point "God Emily yes" she moaned as finger raked against her skin.

JJ arched into her touch as her hips began to move against Emily leg, she could feel the wetness and warmth emanating from her core. As she rocked against her thigh, JJ moved up slightly as Emily pulled her upwards gently he lips making their way to her chest. Grazing her tongue over her nipple before gently sucking her teeth grazed the taut nipple before soothing it with her tongue.

JJ's leg rested against her core as she continued to rock against her, Emily moaned loudly as her hips moved in time with JJ's. JJ smiled as she pulled Emily back into a deep kiss, before moving down her body.

Dragging her tongue softly over her skin, breaking contact slightly, Emily whimpered at the lost as contact, lifting her hips slightly "Shh" JJ murmured as she trailed her tongue over her groin area.

Causing Emily to moan her name, JJ ran her tongue the full length of her soft folds, she hummed gently against her as Emily's finger wrapped around her hair "Beautiful" JJ murmured as she ran her tongue gently through her core.

She reached one hand up to twist her nipple as she continued to dip her tongue in her folds. Emily moaned loudly, "Please" she whimpered.

JJ coaxed her clit out of its protective hood as she ran her tongue over it gently before wrapping her lips around and sucking gently "Yes, yes" Emily nearly screamed feeling JJ on her clit, rolling it between her teeth before running her tongue over it to sooth.

As two fingers entered her core, Emily's hips rocked against her. JJ continued to teased, nip and suck on her bundle of nerves. "So close baby" Emily whispered as JJ smiled against her core. Gently she added a third finger, grazing it against her g-spot.

She brought her tongue away running it through her folds the intoxicating taste of her wife running on her tongue and sending her stomach into a frenzy of her own want and need. She placed her thumb against her clit and gently rubbed adding pressure as she continued to run her tongue through her folds.

"Yes, Jennifer, Yes" Emily chanted as she felt herself left go the climax ripping through her body. JJ readily accepted her release taking in all of her as she trailed soft kisses back up her torso paying attention to her beautiful breast.

Gently she sucked against her nipple before carrying on towards her beautiful lips. "Mmm" JJ moaned softly as she placed a soft kiss against her lips before deepening it as Emily allowed her entrance.

A tear rolled down the brunette cheek as she tasted herself on JJ, she moaned softly into her mouth as they pulled away when the need for air became too much. JJ looked into tear filled eyes smiling softly "You okay baby" Emily nodded her smile lighting her eyes "I love you Jennifer" she said softly as she ran her fingers through her hair.

Emily smiled against her neck as she kissed her way up to her jawline before claiming her lips with her own. Running her tongue along her bottom lip; asking for entry, which JJ was all too happy to give, as they deepened the kiss.

Emily swallowed JJ's moans as she rolled her nipple between her fingers, as the need for air brought them apart, "Mmm" Emily let out in a slight moan as she moved away from her mouth, she wrapped her lips around her nipple as she sucked against it, pulling another moan from the blonde.

Emily loved to hear her moan as she carried on with her path to where she wanted to be. and were JJ was needing her, JJ curled her fingers in Emily's hair as her mouth started to trail down her body.

"Don't tease" JJ warned as Emily was taking her sweet time, and JJ was already on the brink "Your wish" Emily smirked as she managed to settle between her legs.

Emily blew cool air over her core before her tongue feathered over her folds teasingly. JJ moaned louder, her body highly attuned and aroused as she felt a tongue run up the full length of her core.

Emily smiled and moaned as she breathed in the smell of her arousal gently coxing her clit from the hood as her tongue ghosted over it before gently taking it between her lips.

JJ gasped her fingers tangling in the brunettes hair causing her to look up which, intern caused her to moan loudly, before settling back between her legs. JJ was flushed with arousal, as she moaned loudly she already close to her climax "Yes, Emily, yes" she almost chanted.

Emily dipped her tongue into her core, before returning to sucking and nipping on her clit, slowly and gently Emily ran her finger through her folds her mouth never breaking contact she eased two fingers in to her centre as she gently pushed her in to her climax.

She waited for the waves of her climax to settle, as she removed her fingers JJ moaned softly at the loss of contact as Emily trailed kisses up towards her lips pulling her into a passionate kiss. Running her tongue along JJ's lower lip, to be allowed entry, which JJ was all too willing to give.

Emily moaned into her mouth as they could taste each other, gently she pulled away when the need for air became too much for them she smiled softly into swirling blue eyes "Merry Christmas, my sweet girl" Emily whispered. JJ still reeling from the climax that had taken over her senses smiled lovingly at her "Mmm Merry Christmas baby" as she moved closer to Emily's body.

Emily chuckled slightly, "I guess we better get up, before a 'child' destroys the house," JJ laughed, "She really is a child are you sure she is an adult?" Emily shook her head "No"

Sarah was, sat downstairs with Adam feeding the twins, when Emily and JJ finally made their way into the kitchen. Emily walked around to Sarah gently kissing her forehead "merry Christmas sweetheart" Sarah smiled at them both "Merry Christmas" JJ rested her hand softly on Adam's shoulder "Merry Christmas you two" she said softly as she kissed Sarah's cheek.

Emily walked behind JJ as she poured the coffees out, wrapping her arms around her "I love you baby" Emily whispered as JJ hummed softly. "Mom can we" Emily chuckled "Once you have fed them and we have a coffee inside us" Emily smirked.

"Is she always like this?" Adam said with a slight yawn "Yes, she is, don't tell me she woke you up at 4am" Adam nodded. "Yes she did" Emily laughed softly "And what time did you get these two up?" JJ asked, with a pointed look at Sarah.

Adam blushed as Sarah laughed, "While you two were busy" Emily closed her eyes slightly, as she changed the subject "Your grandmother is coming in a few hours, so you know the drill" Sarah chuckled "Yes, opened presents hide the ones she doesn't need to know about" JJ looked at them both "Do I want to know"

"You will see" Emily smiled as she took Morgan off Adam "How's my little champ" Emily cooed, as his small finger wrapped around hers "He really is a mommy's boy" JJ mused, as Sarah passed Jane to JJ "And she is a Mamma's girl" JJ nodded

"And you are our special girl" Emily whispered to Sarah, "Right come on before this one starts to pout" Emily said looking at Sarah who was now grinning; they made their way into the sitting room. Adam looked on in amazement as he took in, the amount of presents "This is why we got band from this room" Sarah whispered as she took his hand.

"Sarah, take your brother for a second I left something upstairs," Emily said, as she winked at JJ. "You okay Ma?" Sarah asked as JJ sat down on the couch, JJ nodded "Just, our first real Christmas" JJ whispered as she looked at her children, Sarah smiled "Here Ma, this is for you" Sarah smiled, just as Emily came back in.

"Sarah it is beautiful," JJ, said, as she looked at the butterfly "Mom said you use to collect them" Sarah said softly "I did" JJ whispered as she wrapped her arms around Sarah. "Thank you." Emily sat behind JJ, pulling her close so she could lean against her "Sarah, are you going to open yours?" Emily said softly.

Adam's jaw dropped, as Sarah looked at the black silk lingerie "thanks mom" Emily smiled "Go put it upstairs out of the way" Emily said, as JJ pinched her "You bought your" Adam couldn't get his words out, causing Emily to laugh. "Nearly every year Adam," Emily passed him over a small box; he cast a sceptical eye over. "Don't worry I only buy Sarah things like that so you're safe," Emily teased.

Adam gasped slightly, as he opened it "No, I can't it's too much" he said softly, looking at Emily "You young man are our future son-in-law so no it's not" Emily said kindly, Adam looked back down at the silver watch before looking back at Emily and JJ "Thank you so much" JJ smiled "Your welcome"

Sarah finished opening the rest of her presents, which consisted of law and criminology books, a new laptop and some money for some new clothes "Thank you" Sarah beamed at them both.

Sarah passed Emily her present, Emily chuckled at her as she opened it "Thanks sweetheart" Emily said softly, weekend away at a spa for them both "Figured you could use them and me and Adam will take these two for you" JJ nodded "thank you"

JJ turned to face Emily handing her three small boxes, "Jen they are beautiful" Emily said softly "You want me to put it on for you?" Emily nodded, as JJ placed the necklace around her neck, a new ring that matched her wedding band and watch, "There beautiful" Emily said softly wrapping her arms tightly around her.

Emily swallowed slightly as she handed JJ an envelope "You...I…Oh my god" JJ said as tears filled her eyes "Ma, what is it" JJ blushed, as she looked into deep chocolate eyes.

"You don't need to know Sarah, unless" Emily looked at JJ who had tears running down her cheeks, "You said you wanted to wait" JJ said softly "I know but I also know how much you want it" Emily had made her an appointment for the fertility client "Emily" JJ whispered.

Emily pulled her close "There is more my sweet girl" Emily said softly, as she handed the deeds over for the restaurant and placed a small box in her hand, JJ frowned slightly at the necklace, "It's the twins birthstone" Emily whispered, as she placed it around her neck.

"Mom, I thought?" Sarah asked, as Emily winked at her "Jen, there is one more thing" Emily bit her lip slightly, "I have got us a few weeks off over Easter, and well since we didn't have a honeymoon, how do you fancy going to France?" JJ wrapped her arms around Emily, burying her face in the nook of her neck.

Emily ran her fingers through her hair "You okay baby?" Emily asked softly, JJ nodded as tears streamed down her face "You, this is" JJ paused as she tried to express what she was feeling "No one has ever" Emily nodded "You my darling, will always have and want for nothing" Emily said softly, as she ran her fingers down JJ's cheek.

They had bought the twins some new clothes and small toys, which they would be able to play with, Emily pulled JJ onto her lap holding her close "Is it too much?" Emily asked softly, "This is the best Christmas ever" JJ whispered, as Emily placed her lips gently on the side of her head. "I love you Jennifer" JJ nuzzled in closer to her "I love you so much Em,"

Elizabeth arrived a few hours later, "Sarah," she said softly wrapping her arms around her "Merry Christmas grandmother" Sarah smiled "To you aswell dear" as she handed her an envelope "Wow," Sarah gasped "Really, I wow" was all Sarah could say "Mother please tell me that isn't what I think it is" Emily said looking at her daughter.

"She is 21 now and" Emily sighed "Mother, I thought we agreed when she was 25" Emily said shaking her head. Sarah just stood opened jawed looking at it, JJ walked over to her "What is it Sarah" she said softly pulling her out of the shock slightly "trip around Europe" Sarah managed to whisper.

"Do you, not know how to do small things?" JJ asked looking at Emily "We do yes, but that was meant to be when she had finished University" Emily said as she glared slightly at Elizabeth.

Emily opened the card which she got every year off her mother "Thanks Mother" she said softly as she placed the cheque into her purse, she handed JJ an envelope which was for a trip around a vineyard in France "Thank you Elizabeth"

The evening was a peaceful one with the family, once everyone had gone home or to bed; Emily lay on the couch with JJ in her arms.

"You had a good day baby?" she asked softly, JJ had been quite most of the day as she turned to look at Emily, with tears in her eyes "This has been the best Christmas I have ever had Emily, thank you"


	130. Chapter 130

**Chapter 130**

Sarah had offered to babysit for the evening since Adam had to go out of town, Emily and JJ had made plans to go out with Morgan and Garcia to a local bar.

"Jennifer are you nearly ready?" Emily called, Sarah chuckled "Mom, do you own anything other than black?" she mused as she looked at her mom, who was in a black cocktail dress. Emily raised her eyebrow slightly "Only if Jennifer buys my clothes" Sarah laughed "I noticed there is more red in your wardrobe these days" Sarah smiled. "She likes red on me," Emily said with a slight wink.

"Jennifer! Are you nearly ready!" Emily shouted from the bottom of the stairs. "Yes and I think the whole street is now ready" JJ replied, Emily jaw dropped as she swallowed loudly "Wow…Je…Yo…Wow" Sarah chuckled "And it is normally me who struggles for words."

Emily stared at JJ "You okay sweetie" JJ said softly, resting her fingers gently against her cheek "You are breath-taking" Emily husked out, JJ was in a pale blue cocktail dress, with a shawl over her shoulders.

"My sweet sweet girl" Emily murmured as she leaned into her touch "I am all yours darling but if we don't get moving Garcia will kill us" JJ joked as Emily's eyes raked over her body "Beautiful" Emily whispered again, Sarah chuckled "Mom, we all know Ma is beautiful, but you are drooling" Sarah teased.

Emily smiled softly at her daughter after she had managed to compose herself, "Jennifer, thank you" Emily whispered "Thank you?" JJ said with a questioning look "Mmm yep" was all, Emily said as they began to make their way out to the taxi.

"Whoa look at you two," Garcia said happily as she wrapped her arms around them both, Emily flinched slightly, "are you okay Emily?" Garcia asked, "I am fine" she smiled warmly placing her hand on the small of JJ's back as they walked into the bar.

It wasn't were they normal go but Emily had got them into a cocktail party which had Garcia in a nice black dress the only hint of colour was the pink streaks in her hair, Morgan was wearing a tailored suit. He wrapped his arms around Emily "Thank you princess" he whispered "anytime handsome."

JJ pulled Garcia towards the bar "Okay I don't get it JJ" Garcia said in more of a pout "What don't you get?" JJ asked slightly confused, "How come she flinches when anyone touches her still, but yet with Morgan she is fine" JJ chuckled softly "She isn't always fine with him, Garcia trust me."

JJ ordered their drinks as she watched Emily and Morgan talk "If you watch her closely Pen you can see she is very guarded even towards him, which she never use to be" JJ whispered. "How long have you noticed that for?" Garcia asked as she watched Emily carefully. "Honestly, the day she got let home from hospital" JJ smiled softly, as Emily eyes landed on her.

"And even now Pen, she doesn't like me to be too far away when we are out" JJ said softly "I hadn't noticed" Garcia whispered, JJ shrugged "She fakes a lot of the time" JJ paused as they got closer "Here you go sweetheart" JJ smiled handing her the wine glass. "Thanks Jen" "Morgan why don't you and Emily go find us somewhere to sit" JJ said carefully "Jen?" Emily questioned slightly.

"We won't be a second we promise" JJ shook her head as Emily and Morgan made their way to locate a table for them, "I thought everything was okay now?" Garcia asked as she watched Emily. "I can assure you everything is fine and okay, " JJ wrapped her arms around Garcia "I just wanted them two to find somewhere for us" she said with a wink as Emily waved them over.

The night went by smoothly; they drank and danced with each other

Emily took JJ's hand in her own as the countdown began, Morgan had his arms wrapped around Garcia as they chanted then seconds down

10… Emily's Phone Rang

9… Emily pales slightly

8… JJ's face dropped

7… JJ steadies' her

6….Sarah!

5… MA!

4… Hospital

3… Morgan!

2…Glass smashes, as phone drops

1.. Emily collapses in JJ's arms


	131. Chapter 131

**Chapter 131**

The sound of the glass smashing pulled Morgan's and Garcia's attention as JJ wrapped her arms around Emily holding her up.

"We need to go" Emily said as she looked at JJ, JJ nodded "Princess what's going on?" Morgan asked as she walked over to them both.

"We need to get to the hospital," Emily whispered

Sarah paced in the waiting room, trying to keep Jane settled Rossi and Isabella were already there by the time Emily, JJ, Morgan and Garcia arrived. Sarah had tears streaming down her cheeks as Rossi took Jane off her so Emily could get to her.

"Mom, he…he" Emily pulled her close as she looked at Rossi and Isabella "What happened?" JJ asked as she took hold of Jane. "He was struggling to breathe and his lips had turned blue, Sarah rung Isabella, and that's as much as I know"

JJ's eyes went wide. "That's all you know?" she said as she glared at them both "We aren't family JJ," Rossi said softly, JJ walked out the room with Jane to locate a nurse.

"Can you tell me what is going on with my son Morgan Prentiss and where is he?" JJ asked calmly as she held Jane closer to her "I will get a doctor to come in as soon as I can, I am sorry I can't tell you anything" the nurse said softly "Where is he" JJ asked again. "They are prepping him for surgery"

JJ's head spun round as Emily gasped "Surgery?" Emily looked at them both, the nurse looked at them both "Shall we" she motioned to the waiting room.

The nurse looked around the now full waiting area as JJ spoke softly "They are our family, please tell us what is going on" the nurse gave a soft smile "As you are aware Morgan has Atrioventricular Canal Defect."

Emily nodded "Yes he is due for surgery in a few weeks" Emily said calmly "We ran an EKG as soon as your daughter brought him in; we need to repair the hole." Emily wrapped her arms around JJ pulling her Jane and Sarah closer to her. "Thank you" she said weakly "I will keep you updated" JJ nodded. "Derek can you take Jane for me please" JJ smiled softly as he took her.

Emily looked at JJ softly "Come here baby" she whispered pulling her closely "He will be okay Jen," she said softly running her fingers gently up and down her back. Emily closed her eyes as she felt and heard the soft cries coming from JJ. "Shh, baby" she murmured.

Sarah was, curled up next to Garcia who had her arms protectively around her; Morgan kept Jane close to him rocking her softly. Rossi had Isabella in his arms as Reid and Hotch through the door. "We just got the message," Hotch said looking at Emily, whose eyes were, filled with unshed tears "You didn't need." Hotch cut her off "Prentiss you are family, has someone rung you mother, and Sandy?" He asked kindly as Emily shook her head.

"Would you like me to ring them" Hotch asked kindly "My phone is in my bag Hotch," Emily said softly as she continued to soothe JJ the best she could. Reid walked over to them as Emily just shook her head slightly to stop him; she looked sadly down at the blonde in her arms.

"Reid do you think you could get us all a coffee?" Emily asked as she looked at Morgan at the same time, "Sure" he said "Come on kiddo, I think Jane needs a new nappy" Morgan said as they began to walk out the room.

"Jen come and sit down baby" Emily whispered in her ear as she guided her to the seat, JJ nodded in response keeping herself wrapped closely into Emily, "He will be okay baby I promise" JJ looked at her with bloodshot eyes before burring her face back in the nook of her neck.

"Emily your mother is getting the first flight back," Hotch, said softly "Sandy?" Hotch smiled "I gave her your card details so they could get a flight" Emily gave a soft smile "Thank you"

They seemed to have been there for hours as the door to the waiting room opened, "Mrs Prentiss?" the doctor said, as Emily stood keeping her arm around JJ. He smiled kindly at them "The operation was successful, though the next 24hours are the most critical."

JJ's voice was slightly hoarse as she spoke "Can we see him?" Emily looked at him as she kept JJ close to her side "I can only allow you in Mrs Prentiss" Emily looked down at JJ as she gave her a reassuring squeeze "This is my wife" she said with a pointed look. He nodded "Well if you both would like to follow me" JJ gripped Emily tightly as they made their way up to the NICU.

"He has a lot of wires and the tube his helping him breathe but you can touch him and he will be able to hear you" Emily looked at the doctor "Is he still sedated?" he nodded "We will keep him sedated just to allow his body time to recover" JJ nodded as they walked over.

"Shh, Jen he's okay" Emily soothe as they sat next to his crib "He looks so small Em" JJ croaked out as she ran her finger down his cheek. Emily nodded, keeping her arm around JJ as they watched him "Emily" JJ whispered, "He is fighter baby" Emily said as she looked down at him.


	132. Chapter 132

**Chapter 132**

Sarah had fallen asleep in Garcia's arms as they waited for Emily and JJ to return, as Jane began to fuss slightly "I think she is hungry" Hotch said softly, as Morgan rocked her gently. Sarah stirred slightly at the soft cries "mom?" "She hasn't come back yet" Hotch said softly "I got a bottle for her, just needs warming" Sarah said as she started to move.

"I'll go see if someone can warm it up for us" Morgan said, just as Emily walked in "Mom," Emily gave her a soft smile "Sarah can you go sit with your Ma please" "Is he" Emily smiled "He is okay for now, I just don't want Jennifer alone right now, please Sarah" Sarah nodded before following Emily to the room. "I won't be long I just want to get us a coffee and ask Isabella to take Jane home" Emily said as she kissed Sarah gently on her cheek.

Emily walked back into the waiting room, she couldn't help but smile seeing Morgan feeding Jane "You didn't need to stay" Emily said softly, Garcia scowled at her slightly "These are our godchildren where else would we be?" Emily nodded "Isabella would you mind taking Jane home for a while" Emily asked softly, "Si"

"Emily, what's happened?" Hotch asked watching her carefully, Emily sighed softly looking at him "He has a hole in his heart, they ran a few tests on him and have been keeping an eye on. Morgan was due for surgery in a few weeks to repair it, but" Emily closed her eyes slightly to compose herself. "Last night he started to go into heart failure, so they"

Emily could not stop the tears from falling or the sob that ripped from her chest, Garcia wrapped her arms around her, though Emily tried to shrug out of it, "I can't" she said looking at Garcia "Is JJ okay?" Hotch asked, Emily raised her eyebrow slightly, "No, I really need to, can you" Emily took a deep breath in to control herself.

"Don't let us ruin your day please," Emily, said softly wiping the tears from her cheeks "We will let you know when Sandy has arrived" Rossi said softly. "Thank you" "I will get Morgan to bring the coffees to you Emily" Emily nodded. "If you want, you don't have to but, they will allow one of you in at a time," Emily managed to say in a whisper.

Garcia wrapped her arm around Emily "Can I see him?" she asked softly, Emily smiled as she nodded, "Pen there are a lot of wires" Emily mumbled "Emily are you okay?" Garcia asked as they made their way to the room "Garcia" she looked at her "Right now four people need me to be strong and" Emily trailed off slightly "I just want 24 hours to hurry up and to pass" she said weakly as she opened the door.

Sarah had curled up into the side of JJ, JJ's eyes were fixated on Morgan as her finger gently run along his skin "Jen" Emily said softly, and dull blue eyes fell on her Garcia smiled softly as she walked over, JJ nodded at her "Be-careful with him" JJ whispered.

Garcia moved closer. "Jayj, he will be okay, he's a Prentiss" JJ shook her head, as her eyes filled with more tears, "My sweet girl" Emily soothed as she ran her fingers gently through JJ's hair.

The light tapping on the door pulled Emily from her thoughts as she turned to look at Hotch "Emily, Sandy and Anthony are here" he whispered noticing that JJ had fallen asleep "Thanks, I won't be a second" Emily whispered as she moved trying not to disturb JJ.

JJ mumbled slightly as Emily made her way out of the room, Sandy greeted her outside of the waiting room "Sandy" Emily said tearfully as she wrapped her arms around her mother-in-law. "Sorry" she whispered, once she pulled back. "How is he doing" Sandy asked, "He's doing okay" Emily said weakly "I don't want to leave Jen too long, can you" Emily motioned back towards the room.

"Emily where's Jane?" Sandy asked before they entered the room "I sent her home with Isabella, she needs to sleep in her own bed" Emily smiled softly as she looked at a still sleeping JJ "She only been asleep about an hour" Emily whispered. "Have you managed to get any?" Emily shook her head "I'm fine"

Emily ran her fingers through JJ's hair gently "Sweetheart your mom's here" she whispered softly "Emily." Emily traced her fingers down her cheek "My sweet girl" she said softly. "Your mom and dad are here baby" JJ nodded turning to look at Sandy "Mom" she gave a soft smile before her eyes fell straight back on to Morgan. "Jen, I am just going to get us a coffee okay baby" JJ nodded as Sandy walked over to her.

"How you doing" Sandy said softly "he's my, baby boy mom," JJ shook her head slightly "Worried, scared and a few others that I can't even describe" JJ said softly "The doctor says he can hear us," she smiled "He is strong like his mommies" Sandy said taking the seat next to her.

"Stubborn like his mother more like" JJ half joked, "I knew he was going to have an operation mom. But this has just" Sandy nodded "Shock, sweetheart" JJ nodded "I don't think it has fully" Sandy placed her finger on her daughters lips, to shh her "She is in shock as well and I am guessing from her guardedness. That she is only just holding it together" JJ nodded

Emily sent Anthony to be with JJ and Sandy.

Emily's eyes fell on Morgan "Derek" Emily looked at him and his heart broke for her as he wrapped his arms around her. "I've got you princess," he said softly "Garcia would you go get us some coffee and take Reid with you" Hotch said; ushering everyone out the room, leaving Emily alone with Morgan.

"How's he doing" Emily took a deep breath. "I'm more worried about Jennifer right now" Emily admitted. "I know Morgan is being watched by everyone, But Jen," Morgan wiped the tears from her eyes "She's heartbroken" Morgan smiled softly "think it is just a little too much for her to take in, you know as well as I do she likes things planned not sprung on her" Emily nodded "True look at her office" Emily joked.

"And I know you have been worrying for weeks that something like this could happen," Emily nodded "I am just glad Reid didn't spout of the statistics when Jen was around." Morgan chuckled, "We would have been hiding her gun and everyone else's, if he had."

Emily nodded "Thank you" she smiled "Prentiss, try and get some rest okay," Morgan said softly. "So not going to happen for say another 18 hours," Emily said weakly


End file.
